Tuesday, March 16, 2004
sigh. i truly apologize about writing this eight days late. i was gonna do it last night, but for some reason the pitas page was not displaying. also, i knew i wrote this all down in a piece of paper, and it took me awhile to find it among my "multi-layered disorganized" room ^^;;

here goes nothing:
friday night i arrived at the camp, fully excited to see wat was in store for me this year, since the pastor (darn! i forgot his name! but he came from california...) was really a blessed outreach.
the only problem? i knew i wouldn't be able to grow spiritually with the other people who are attending. from experience last year, i wanted to share all my experiences with god, and the blessings i have encountered...but nobody in my camp class, seemed as "devout", or even eager to know more about god (i hope shendz knows wat i mean ><).
then there was the "girl talk" me, meeks, jessi, and shendi had on that friday night, discussing on wat pastor e.'s gonna be preaching about (i'll get back to him. ha ha, i go back and forth, with no organization. mrs. rothbard would murder me). i cried my heart out sharing a deep hurt i had for some time. though a part of me was embarassed to share, the other part was so releived, and so glad that shendi and mico were able to comfort me, and say the exact words i needed to hear. in addition, jessi (if u don't want me to share this jess, u can yell at me and forbid me for letting me go with u to cali >_<)shared her spiritual struggle, which i could deeply relate too, which also made me feel better. i love u guys too much ^_^
the days continued to progress...and they didn't serve waffles that sunday morn. *grimace*...but lemme tell ya bout pastor E.:
pastor E! kellum! The MAN! sigh. i'm never gonna look at the word "aight" the same way ever again. and for me, shendz, and jess, talking ghetto is a struggle. lol. it's amazing how someone so energetic (him mixing our sin concoction into his metal flower can ><), can suddenly drive a speech into your heart, with a serious tone.
it's all from that saturday night, a night that changed many of the youth's lives. it was amazing how the very same people who i thought didn't really care about God in their life, cried their hearts out when agreeing to surrender their whole WHOLE life to him. David for example. a playful friend of JR. i didn't realize it until then, that he wasn't a christian, but he's been asking some questions throughout the classes, on the symbolism of our paralyzing game, or what a certain scripture meant. i was so touched when he reached out to a youth leader, and accepted christ. heck i was even touched when jessi cried her eyes out. while comforting her, helsa prayed for both of us, praying that we would continue to be strong, and to totally give up everything for Him. hmm...so why didn't i go up and reach out to a youth leader? u may think this is a stupid excuse...but i was praying while we were bowing our heads down, so i DIDN'T HEAR HIS STATMENT. argh.
but one way or another, i was extremely blessed that night. as i have indicated earlier in this entry, i was worried about the not-so-devout people attending, and then that night. people were crying, people were being saved, god's kingdom was growing. being a witness to that alone brought tears to my eyes that night. silent tears. i quickly wiped them away once the people were coming back. if people asked me wat part in the camp made me grow more spiritually, this would have definitely been it.

grr. i don't know how to end. in the paper i'm copying, the entry stops right there. so how am i gonna end this? how about a song? yeah that'd be good:
As little children
We would dream of Christmas morn
And all the gifts and toys we knew we'll find
But we never realised
A baby born one blessed night
Gave us the greatest gift of our lives
We were the reason that He gave His life
We were the reason that He suffered and died
To a world that was lost
He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live
As the years went by
We learnt more about gifts
Giving of ourselves
And what that means
On a dark and cloudy day
A man hung crying in the rain
Because of love, because of love
I've finally found the reason for living
It's in giving every part of my heart to Him
In all that I do, every word that I say
We are the reason that he gave His life
We are the reason that He suffered and died
To a world that was lost
He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live
He is my reason to live.
who wrote this song??? i totally forgot ^_^;;

Monday, March 8, 2004
God our Savior “desires all men to be saved and to come to the know the knowledge of the truth” 1 Timothy 2:4

This was the main theme of the camp: Connecting with God, connecting your friend with God, and then connecting them to church.
To all my church peeps out there, I deeply apologize that I haven’t shared what I’ve learned, to…ANYONE, actually. My experience is not something can’t easily role of my tongue and be said in front of the church, and I wouldn’t know if they’d understand (I mean, it was hard enough to do my presentation in English today). I know that that’s a stupid excuse, and i’m truly sorry. But if I don’t pour it all out, I’d go crazy, so I guess I’ll just write it all here. But I can’t do it all right now. My computer is spazzing on me, and my mind is so congested with other worries and distractions. I need to be totally peaceful with abundant time to explain it all. But I promise. I will have details…

Monday, March 1, 2004
my room smells like oranges.

i got a little psyched out at first, but then i remember dad's obsession with the new orange air freshener. >_<;;;
ha. how stupid of me. i just finished my spanish test, and sat down, when mejul {who was sitting in front of me and wasn't done taking it} asked me a question from the test. unaware that i was involving myself into the cheat crime, i answered it. garrido didn't like this at all and chastised me. good thing mejul, abi, and lauren are gonna back me up. o_O
youth camp on this weekend! i can't wait. ah, those memories of anna's paranoia of a cadaver in our bunk, giving mico a lecture on world war II, heidi's birthday chinese outing...oh yeah. i better start packing now, cuz i really don't have time any other week day, and i take forever...

Thursday, February 26, 2004
this entry i must express. i can't write it down in my purpose driven journal, becuz it's not as open as this blog...

last night shendi and most of our church members saw Passion of the Christ. I prayed a few hours before, to be prepared in experiencing the full suffering of Jesus, and to fully understand that the pain he endured was meant for US.

i knew i was gonna cry. i can never handle any movies that shows my God suffering. i could just never handle the fact that a person who has done nothing wrong, suffered terrible pain and torture. it was weird...but everytime the whip, which had pieces of glass tied to it, struck Jesus' bare back, i kept jumping out of my seat. i kept crying like crazy while shendi was holding me and reggie kept rubbing my back....heh i owe u guys ^_^

after the movie we all went to the diner. i was still upset, but helsa told me, "don't worry, he is risen. that's wat matters." and yes, she's right. it's such an awesome feeling to know Jesus has victoriously won over Satan, and paved the way for us to be with our Father...
i've just realized something. i've changed, in my relationship with God i mean. for more than 24 hours i've thought of nothing but him, and i've never felt so complete and relaxed. ^_^
um. i don't know how to end this entry, so i'll just say what's on my mind...must finish studying for algebra, and do your PDL! >_<

Monday, February 23, 2004
these verses have been rocking my socks lately ^_^:
I love the Lord, who listened
to my voice in supplication,
Who turned an ear to me
on the day I called.
I was caught by the cords of death;
the snares of Sheol had seized me;
I felt agony and dread.
Then I called on the name of the Lord,
"O Lord, save my life!"

Gracious is the Lord and just;
yes, our God is merciful.
The Lord protects the simple;
I was helpless, but God saved me.
Return, my soul , to your rest;
The Lord has been good to you.
For my soul has been freed from death,
my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling.
I shall walk before the Lord
in the land of the living.
Psalm 116:1-9

watch The Passion of the Christ. Go with a parent if you must. And see wat christ did for you...YOU dude. nuff said.

Tuesday, February 17, 2004
sunday was the shelly and heather ice skating bonanza...heh sounds pretty corny, i just made that one up at the top of my head. i felt so alive to feel the ice beneath my feet again...while gracey was dragging herself on the wall, and kept squirming whenever people were near her...
gracey: oh no! a person! a person! right in front of me!
christina and me: *sweatdrop* yes...we know
lucky nobody fell.
i come thirty minutes late to church, so i couldn't play the bass for worship. alyssa came ^_^ (hope i'm spelling her name right), but while the worship team was practicing, she, tita flo were trying to calm down grace, who was isolating herself from all the other kids.
after teaching the kids for sunday school on how to make scrolls, and laughing at my mom and dad's different personalities during the valentines game, i ate spicy chicken for dinner, making me vomit the next morning at 3 am...
that just sucked...since we were gonna go skiing that monday. oh well, i didn't mind watching...while my head was spinning. i slept pracitcally the whole day. ugh, it felt horrible. but hey, due to my lack of eating, i lost five pounds...
today lissa came to play with monika. i had enough strength to at least show her final fantasy. but after defeating year 2, all my strength drained and i once again slept for another few hours >_<;;; that's okay i guess.
well, i still have three entries to write in my purpose driven journal, color the entire dna coloring book, two long english journal entries...along with the reading, and a bio essay. this is gonna be one heck of a night.

Saturday, February 14, 2004
happy valentines day everybody! this isn't just a day for married couples and girlfriends and boyfriends...it's a day just to go up to someone u know, give them a hug and say "i love you"....o_O okay i'll stop there...

this morning dad suprised mom with a bouquet of roses, and a chocolate shaped like a heart. mom was so proud, she decided to carry it around when we entered IHOP, making us all feel a little awkward.{dad: neh, let's order two tables. a table of three, and a table of one...mom: *glares*}

after managing to stuff three pancakes, three eggs, and four strips of bacon in my mouth, we shopped in the mall. i bought presents for shelly and heather, and dad bought me final fantasy to make up all the money he owed me for allowance ^_^. now mom and dad are upstairs snoozin' away...
last night most of the youth and i went to queens for living word coffeehouse. j.r. came along, complaining to me and shendi how every song was "slow". the pastor's message was truly touching, and in response we sang "heart of worship". apollo gave me, darrin, therese, and shendi a ride home, trying to teach us the "hand fart" >_<
*sigh* this week i'm gonna take it slow, since it's winter break. heh, in closure, this is from walagata:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
We hope you have a HEART-filled day
and that your special loved one
gives you a sweet kiss or two
If my attempt at poetry hasn't scared you off, allow me to wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day

Monday, February 9, 2004
SEVEN MORE COLLEGE LETTERS FOR ME! i feel so honored, yet so tortured at the same time. cuz i don't even wanna think about college. i'm old. well, gracey told me that she received letters from seventeen, so now i don't feel that bad...

shelly and heather's birthday r on sunday:
dad: wat?!?why are you going to buy more gifts?!?!?me: i have two bday parties on sunday!
dad: wat kinda friends are those!? always celebrating???
dad: ur supposed to celebrate only once a year
meanie. and to top it all, my spanish teacher's away on surgery, so now we have mr. rasner {ben and i are suffering together...and i feel bad for mike, since now he'll hafta bear the both of us}. ha ha ha, today was the most work our class has ever done this year. how sad. and i'm too lazy to translate every word in the stupid comprehension we hafta read.
eh, i'm tired, i wanna eat...

Saturday, February 7, 2004
yay. i just finished a new design. perhaps i'll use it for a future layout. so u can finally see wat designs i can do on MY OWN...

speaking of which, i just received two mails from colleges, regarding the major (graphic design) i indicated on the psats. one from college of new rochelle, and one from drexel university. i was so touched when they said i was an ideal candidate ><. 'course i'm hesitant about mom, since she thought for sure i was gonna be a doctor...

anyway, last friday we had no school, and it was MONIKA'S BIRTHDAY! lissa came over, and i sacrificed my time and energy to treat those lil kids like queens. then we went over lissa's house so monika can practice a dance for philippine indep. day. heh, it happens to be the same dance me and jessi did when we were young *sigh*
after that we treated monika to calabrias, an italian restaurant. then went to youth at mico's. monika tagged along cuz we thought jezreel would be there. turns out she left early, so monika just stayed with me.
today we went to the at&t wireless store, to get my phone "un-frozen", then we went shopping (bought gracey a comic book), and lin and mara came over for dinner.
*sigh* i'm tired now...good night folks...

Saturday, January 31, 2004
happy saturday night everyone. it's been a long week, and i guess i'm enjoying the rest.

well, since yesterday i had to do push-ups, and this morning during aerobics i was lifting a 9lb bar, it's no wonder my upper body is aching.
aside from that, dad took apart the VCR and has no idea how to put it together again, so naturally he bought a new VCR. problem is that the VCR only works on channel 3, which is the spazzing channel, so the DVD is the only one that's functioning. so that meant monika and i just watched her video upstairs.
then i went downstairs and watched THE PIANIST with mom and dad. One of the best movies i've seen. it deals with world war II, and wladyslaw szpilman's {a magnificent jewish pianist who used to play for the polish radio} journey of survival, even with the help of a sympathetic German officer. that's wat touched me most ^_^. oddly enough, this movie happens to be a polanski film, the same director from that gruesome Macbeth movie we saw in english. oh well...
and that's all i'm going to say for now. i wanna take a nap...

Thursday, January 29, 2004
another semester has begun.

bad thing is that drawing 1 has ended, and it's now the start of drawing 2. becuz of some crazy scheduling, my period 3 has become study period and period five, which is orginally my lunch period, is now my drawing 2 class.
so yes, that means no lunch for me, but i don't exactly mind. they still serve food during third period. at least mike's there to keep me company. only today, he had gym for two periods of doing absolutely nothing, so by the time we both went to study, he ran out of things to do.
i entered fifth period drawing class, and luckily elana was there, so i sorta had someone to talk to. problem is that there was a person sitting on the seat i'm usually in for third period, and i needed that seat, in order to get my right angle from drawing my still life. mrs. smorz said i can just come in third period to finish up my drawing, since she also agrees that my guidance counselor is a bit nuts. {but of course, ben loves him, since my guidance counselor's a BIG yankee fan.}
fitness testing starting tomorrow. and michelle, kristina, and debb are not with me. i'm with mr. jones, and we're going to do testing for push-ups tomorrow, so that got me pissed throughout the gym period.
*sigh* now i have nothing to do, since i did all my hw in the library, and already burned gracey's cd (i also attatched a small picture of hatori and haru). hmm, maybe i should get ready for the AP US2 exam tomorrow. or maybe i should practice on my push-ups o_O

Monday, January 26, 2004
neh. felt like archiving...
belated happy chinese new year! new year of the monkey!...so it's ri-chan's turn to do the new years banquet dance. heh, but i can't imagine him dancing without frantically shouting "gomen nasai!" every two seconds ^_^;;

saturday was lucy's birthday party. it was pretty cheerful despite the fact we ate, talked, and played foozball the whole time. turns out that nat, of all people, also obsessed with soul calibur, and uses talim.
anyway, i came home at around eleven thirty-ish, while my parents came home at around two from helsa and heidi's house. while waiting for them, i had my head held back on my pillow, not really caring that i was sniffing and swallowing my cold, rather than blowing my nose. resulting in a bad, infected throat, and feeling light headed the next day.
of course, still feeling a bit air headed, i decided to attend school in order to get my mid-term scores back. not bad all actually. i just got a B+ in US1 and B in Algebra 2. I got all A's in all the rest.
well that's about what's in my mind right now. i need to go to the bathroom...so plz excuse...><