i have about 30-40 pages to go read about "The Epic of Gilgamesh" and i really don't want to so i'm gonna write here instead :)

um. friday lexi and i met up with kyle rivabuddy (not cupmasta), and we went on some crazy driving episodes to meet up with ash and bondy. we met them at a party that was sketch and they didn't wanna let us in till we paid 3 dolla each, and then they made it to the boys to pay 3 dolla, and then it went down to 3 dolla for the whole group, and FINALLY they just let us in. lol. idiots, we weren't gonna drink from their keg anyway. we left there after about 5 minutes and we ended up going over to stewbert's apartment, i guess it was alright. eh, i wasn't in that great of a mood by the time we left, but lexi knows why. we conveniently "lost" ash and rivabuddy on the way home thanks to our ingenious thinking.

saturday i had to work, it was an okay work day i guess. got a paycheck, that's always nice. we had company over for dinner, so i stayed home for that, and trav came over to join us for some grub too, and later he tells me he's going to an 80's party, and i ask if it'll be okay if i could go, and he's like hell yeah! so we ravage through my closet and come up with a reaaaaally hot outfit of an off shoulder sweatshirt, tights, spandex shorts, legwarmers, a side ponytail with scrunchies and neon bracelets... it was amazing. we headed over to trav's place and he got dressed up too in short swim trunks, a cut off tshirt and a fannypack. then lexi came too and we dressed her up kinda like me, and rivabuddy joined us but he was 70's-ed out, one era too early. AAAAANYWAY, the 80's party took some time to find, and it was alright i guess, but we had to leave soon bc lex was gonna drive me home. so we met up w busta and them at the house and they were standing on the lawn watching this reeeally ghetto ass party that was across the street kinda disperse? if you would call it that. they were just congregating mostly. josh and ben almost beat the shit out of some punkasses. that would have been cool, but lexi and i were kinda scared. oh well. we left soon after that and home we did go.

school today was aight. english + econs= boring day. i went shopping with meghan and tori afterwards at fashion square. i picked up my long coveted MAC pigment in tan (debated over kitchmas and decided i didn't need it), and two pairs of dangly chandelier style earrings (one turquoise, one pink, of course) and i also refrained from buying a pair of shoes and two skirts. well done i say. i am broke and have no more money to spend!

do you believe in soulmates? being idealistic, i'd like to think i do, but somehow maybe there can't be a soulmate system, bc if someone married someone else's soulmate bc they just settled and didn't wanna wait for their own soulmate, then they fucked up the whole soulmate system, right? that's from the movie when harry met sally, isn't it? but i wouldn't know that because i never watched that movie and i have way too many things on my mind to think about soulmates. plus i'm way too damn cynical to believe in it now. boys are bitches.


I don't use excuses
Don't ask why
It's just a breakdown
It happens all the time
So get out of my face
Don't even try
Ya wanna help me, just let me cry

audio:: ashlee simpson- "just let me cry"

so school was alright today. but i seriously have aching legs because i walk so much all over campus. i got lost today again. driving to and from campus is no problem. but i get lost while walking on campus. geez. i don't even know how i am capable of being lost so much!

i have lotsa homework so i'll make this quick.

i went to staples today to get some notebooks and stuff. except that i just opened up the pack of notebooks i bought, and i ended up buying WIDE RULE notebooks. now how i overlooked this at the store i do not know, because i'm usually capable of getting college rule with no problems, and i hate wide rule because i feel like a kid when i write in those way too spaced out lines. WIDE RULE SHOULD DIE!!!!!! everyone should just use college rule, even the little kids with humongous handwriting! JUST SUCK IT UP AND LEARN TO WRITE SMALL!!! WIDE RULE!! I'LL CUT YOUR FACE, CUT YOUR FACE, CUT YOUR FACEEEE!!!!!!!

so tomorrow i'm going to the ASU bookstore to buy my notebooks there, because i really don't feel like making another trip to staples. stupid idiotic notebooks. AND why are those damn daily planner/oragnizer things 8 freakin dollars? it's just a small book with lines for people to write assignments in, WHY is it so damn overpriced?! i'm just going to get that ASU one that everyone's got, except they got it for free because they got them from their dorms. BUT NO, the poor broke students who aren't in the dorms have to go shell out more money for a damn planner to keep track of USELESS homework. GEEZ.

but i finally got my damn printer to work with my laptop so i can actually print stuff off my laptop like all those syllabuses and lecture notes that my professors like to post online and make things so damn difficult by not just handing papers out in class. now i don't have to burn single documents onto a cd and then beg my dad to let me use his old school laser printer that takes forever to print a single sheet. ("but honey, it prints sooo beautifully!" ...." DAD I DON'T CARE HOW BEAUTIFULLY IT PRINTS I JUST WANT IT TO PRINT NOW AND FAST!!!!")

so i'm a demanding consumer. at least i take good notes in my economics class unlike the many people i saw fast asleep in that lecture today. CONSUMERS, PRODUCERS, LABOR, CAPITAL AND RESOURCES. yes i was actually listening.

and i never thought i'd say this, but i freakin miss my school uniform. choosing clothes for school drives me nuts because it takes too long. and i'd rather be catching a few more minutes of sleep, dammit.

i want to move into an apartment with lexi and have an overstocked pantry of cheetos and lemonade (for me) and coke (for lexi)!!!!!!!!!!

off to do some damn homework.

HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES!?


'Cause I used to have angels that used to watch over me
Love was not a stranger, but love ain't what it used to be
And I don't want these devils they're knocking at my door
No, I can't love you no more.

audio:: toby lightman- "devils and angels"

so i guess today went a little better than yesterday.

i managed to get to and from campus without getting lost, although i did start walking in the wrong direction after my math class towards sociology and i saw britt and she told me to walk the other way, lol. maybe she'll switch into my sociology class though, that would be cool.

let's see, my honors class "The Human Event", is basically a literature kinda humanities like class, but lotsa reading and papers and stuff. i guess it will be really similar to the english classes i've had at xavier. but my english 101 class is more of a writing program than anything else. my human event teacher is kinda eccentric, he got reeeally excited over the books we have to read, and was going off on tangents on how we are adults and we have to take responsibility because there is never anyone to blame. it's all about responsibility apparently. but he's pretty cool, but i know that class is going to be incredibly difficult. i know two people in my class, annmarie and matt cicinelli, my highschool peeps. yay! but the walk from my parking lot to this class is hella far and i almost died today lol.

i went to math, and my teacher is pretty cool, he's really enthusiastic as well and says that anyone can learn to do math well, all it takes it understanding concepts and stuff. i just hope that schreibs has taught me well!

last class of the day was sociology, another lecture style class with about 400 people, i was a little late because i got lost on the way to this class from math (i mentioned that above) but i doubt i was noticed walking in late. johnna is in that class w me, so hey i know one person there.

after the whole class shebang, i had to go buy all my books from the bookstore, i ended paying probably a total of $360 for all of it, including textbooks, novels, and even a trip to the "alternative copy store" to get an anthology for my human event class. then i lugged my crapload of books to my car and went home.

THEN once i got home i had to call my insurance claims agent and give my recorded statement about my accident on sunday. that was a little scary and i was a little intimidated, but my agent dude was pretty cool about it, seeing as this is my first accident, and i'm 18 and didn't have a clue.

and now i'm sorting through my friggin stack of books and printing out syllabus's and stuff for class tomorrow.

god i hate school. i mean, college is great, but school just blows. know what i mean? i'm so exhausted, walking around campus tires me out. and of course, i feel like i never have enough time to complete my homework. oh well i'm going to bed early tonight.


I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

audio:: kelly clarkson- "breakaway"

whoa the last few days have definitely been a little crazy and i don't remember what happened when because it just seems like one big blur.

there were quite a few orientation activities, i went to sparky's summer shakedown, and the tropical tiki luau, both of which were okay i guess, they were giving out alot of free stuff but you had to participate and all that, which was a little intimidating. oh well. um. lexi attended some extra stuff but i didn't feel like driving down to tempe so much so i was like screw all that. lol.

we've made friends with a number of people in ashley's dorm, and her roommate is pretty chill. this guy, kyle, is all the way from michigan, and so far he's my favorite new person i've met! haha. he's really funny and we went partying friday night. we went to this crazy 5-keg party aka "rob's 5th annual back to school party" or something like that, lexi and i were getting something to drink at a food place (schlotzky's!!) and these guys approach us and give us flyers to this party. so we're like hey cool. apparently this party had alot of older people though, but it was kinda cool anyway.

later we met up w cole at his friend's apartment, and were there till we had to go home, that was pretty fun! ash came and met us after a bit.

saturday was nuts because there was that luau, which turned out being not so fun, but later we went to this frat party, sigma pi's pajama/lingerie party... unfortunately we weren't dressed for the theme, but we got in anyways. i feel bad bc kyle and mark couldn't get in, but i already called to apologize. um. yea, we got to dance on the tables, go into a so-called "VIP" room, and it was pretty crazy. after that ended, we ended up running into some friends from brophy and stuff, so we hung out with them too. it was fun stumbling all over campus trying to find people's dorms. later we walked back to ashley's dorm and crashed on the floor. and that's all i remember.

i got in a car accident yesterday, after dropping lexi home. it happened in my neighborhood, and i'm not going to elaborate because it will take me forever... but i'm fine and not hurt. and neither is the other driver, i'm not sure whose fault it is, although i do think it's the other driver's. but i've been a really depressed mood about that and i'm so freakin scared to drive now..which brings me to today..

first day of school today, aka the official end of summer, :(
i was definitely scared to drive today, so i didn't have a good "driving day", which i'm sure everyone has every now and again. i had to pick up my parking pass and then head over to where i'm supposed to park my car everyday for the year. it's super far away from all my classes, but whatchu gonna do, right? i found my classes with lexi and ashley's help, and i had english and economics today. i hope both classes will end up being okay. english has like 25 people, and econs has about 400. in my econs class, i know two other people, meghan and tori, and they went to xavier too, so i was really glad i knew people. kyle is in the class after us, so we're trying to convince him to switch into our class so we can be in a study group together. i'm getting all my school books tomorrow, so i hope that i will be able to carry all those books from the bookstore to my car. ugh. and hopefully i won't get lost on campus again. it's so freakin huge that i never know where i'm going.

yeah, i just hope tomorrow's a better day for me, overall.


All I gotta say is
I just wanna have some fun
And I'll do it until I'm done
I'm telling you
I'm just a crazy kind of girl
I'll tell it to the world
I've just begun having my fun
Inside me there's something I found
I wanna shop around
I've just begun
Don't wanna settle down

audio:: britney- "i've just begun (having my fun)"

ASU shenanigans!

lexi and i went shopping early wednesday morning at XI because we haven't been there in a while, it was a quicky shopping trip though bc she had a hair appointment to catch. then she had to go to work. but anyway, after work she came to my house, i loaded up the durango (it was crazy windy and stormy out again, so we trucked it in the durango again!) with all the essentials, like jackets and jeans and cds and all that good stuff.

so we were headed to this bbq that was supposed to be for all the sororities and frats and stuff, and i was going to that to accompany lex. i've decided i'm not going to rush because i don't think i could handle all that mandatory study hours, and the pledging and the bidding and all that. it's a great system, but just not for me. well since it started raining (ahh i hate rain!) the bbq kinda either got cancelled or rained out, whichever. so trekked back to the car and drove over to ash and shan's dorms! ash had her stuff set up and omg her computer is soooo cool looking. the funky lights and everything! i <3 it! her bed stuff is so cute too! and then shan's dorm, omg her room is adorable because everything matches pink and green and it's so comfy and welcoming! lex and i were commiserating with each other because we feel like highschool students still bc we don't get to live in the dorms. bitch please, don't get me started on that.

we hopped into my car, and made a couple pit stops for food and drink and then went to visit cole at his dorm, and we met his roommates and met nick, who is the craziest mofo around! haha i love that kid. seriously ON CRACK! nick and i are MYSPACE friends now!!! yay! we're gonna leave whacked out comments for each other, hahaha! and ashley was hilarious to listen to because she lost her "laugh" and so she's laughing all different ways to "find" it again! rofl. crazy shit. "COLEMAN GO GET SOME SHLEEP!"

oh yeah we also had a good time meeting people in the dorms, that was cool. though i'm pretty bad with names... i'll try my hardest!

oh yeah. i have to mention this. lexi and i were dressed really cutely (is that a word?) and we had to change because of the rain and wind and everything, plus we were both wearing white, lol. anyway. so we changed and i had a hoodie on and everything. nuts. later we changed back into our cute clothes because the rain stopped. i think i freaked shannon out when i hopped into the car and just started taking my clothes off without notice, lol. OH and then i guess i was acting a little kooky last night, and i was "off" or whatever, i blame it on my meds, damn antibiotics. so i kept saying and doing the stupidest things and everytime someone else did something stupid, they said they were "pulling a holly". aw isn't that sad? i'm the stupid fuckup in the group!

anyway we went to the tempe house, which we should call "THE HOUSE" now because we were already in tempe, lol. unfortunately the cops are stupid and they got a warning for being too loud, alcohol to minors, disturbing the peace, all that shizzle. argh i feel so bad for josh and mike. anyway, the party was alright, many many many people there that i didn't know, but i dunno i wasn't into meeting alot of them.. weird. this kid matt was there, and he was jamming out with his guitar and singing and stuff, he is soooo good. aly and i were singing counting crow's "mr. jones" along w him. haha. yay that was pretty fun.

college is going to be awesome. i can tell. :)


When you're out in the club, don't think I'm not
Even when you're out making love, don't think I'm not
When you're feeling good in somebody's spot, getting hot, don't stop
Just don't think I'm not, somehow getting mine.


audio:: kandi- "don't think i'm not" (old school, but such a girl power song, it's like saying "guys watch yo ladiez because they're playin you" hahaha AWESOME)

hmm i got home a while ago.. but no i did not technically "go out" because i'm supposed to be at home resting and what not, but lexi decided she wanted to dye her hair again!! so ms. expert hair dye-er (ahem, me) was picked up and off to pick out haircolor we went. we snagged like a "dark burgundy brown" or something like that. and back to lexi's house and i dyed her hair and then we hosed her down outside because that's what she did last time with ashley, except it was probably freakin DAY time so it was easier. i finally told lexi to suck it up and jump in the shower because its just >>that<< much easier. so she did and we blew dry her hair and taadaa, she has beautimous dark dark red hair!! i like it alot, but i'm not too sure if she does or not. i don't blame her, it's quite a change and i wasn't sure if i liked my hair last time i dyed it red too.

i was debating on dyeing my hair tonight too, but i figured i didn't really know what i wanted, plus i need a haircut too, so i'll just wait a while first.

oh yeah, doc update. haha so i saw the doctor today, and lo and behold!! i have what i had last time. tonsillitis has struck again dammit, except that they called it "pharyngitis" this time i think. but i got the same antibiotics as last time, so i'm like wtf you calling it by a different name for, eh? anyway, they did a strep thoat test and that came back negative.. then they did a blood count test, and the nurse/helper girl pricked my middle finger with this funky contraption thing, and BOY did it it hurt. lol for a split second of course. but apparently you're supposed to have like a count of 10 (thousand) white blood cells at any one time, but i had 22 (thousand) because they're battling my crazy bacterial infection in my throat. god that sounds disgusting. so i'm on meds now, yay! i should be better soon! oh. and they took my weight again.. in march i was 94 lbs. and now, in august, i am 89 lbs. WHAT THE SHIT IS GOING ON. why am i losing weight? that is so FREAKING weird! of all people, i need to be gaining weight, not losing it! i was a little freaked out, not gonna lie. people, FEED ME!!! let's help me pack on some pounds so i can break a freakin hundred! i'm unhealthily underweight! HEEELP!!! (although not anorexic, like our dear mary-kate)

oh yeah. and i'm really unusually sad tonight, because tomorrow morning alot of people are leaving town for tucson, because they're all going to UofA. i said bye to my next door neighbor, hunter, today, and i was about to cry because i'm gonna miss him alot! i gave him a huge hug and told him to come back and visit often. this is my first experience in having to say goodbye to people i care about because they're leaving for college. granted, i'm incredibly lucky to be headed off to college with my best friends and we don't have to split up or anything, but it's just really really sad. goodbye friends, have fun in tucson, and if you ever decide that UofA sucks, you can always transfer to ASU and come join me. haha. well okay, just take care of yourselves and come back to visit soon. i love you and miss you already!

fuck, i hate goodbyes.


I can tell that you don't know me anymore
It's easy to forget, sometimes we just forget
And being on this road is anything but sure
Maybe we'll forget, I hope we don't forget

I'm falling into memories of you and things we used to do
Follow me there
A beautiful somewhere
A place that I can share with you

audio:: yellowcard- "one year, six months" [took me a while to find the perfect song for this entry, and i think with the whole "goin away to college" thing, those lyrics up there pretty much sums it all up for me. it makes me want to cry. :( ]

ah shit.

i hate being sick.

turns out, i'm not really that dehydrated or whatever, because i'm actually quite the sickly little girl these few days.

so earlier in the year i was seriously down and out with tonsillitis, strep throat and conjunctivitis (eww) all at the same time.. remember? what a horrible period of time. well my doc informed me that i could get tonsillitis again and again because it was like recurrences of it? i don't know, it's hard to explain.

so i guess i'm pretty much going through a second round of tonsillitis! even if i got my tonsils removed, that might not help bc i could still get it! gah this sucks! anyway i've had a shitty sore throat, headaches that won't quit, and a crazy ass fever complete with the burning sensation behind my eyes. YUCK.

anyway. i'm off to see the doctor today, and thank god because i wanna get better because it's orientation this week at ASU!

i also missed a party at the tempe house last night and i hate missing out on stuff. :( not fair.


I wanted you to know, I love the way you laugh
I want to hold you high, and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph, and I know it serves me well
I want to hold you high, and steal your pain.

audio:: seether feat. amy lee- "broken"

i just talked to my brother on the phone! that was fun, i gave him alot of shit for not calling to talk to me and everything.

we got a new dog!! whoa! hahaa it was pretty crazy how it happened. so this one guy who bought some wheels from the company had a female rottweiler that just would not get along with his other dogs. so he just happened to mention it to my dad, and my dad's eyes lit up, because he's ALWAYS wanted a rottweiler, but purebreds are way expensive. so this fella just gave us the dog! lol it was insane! i come home from a party on thursday and we have a new dog in the house! lol. oh we also have a freaky dog gate contraption to prevent the dogs from coming upstairs and i've already fell over while trying to climb over it because just fiddling with the thing drives me nuts. heh so the new dog's name is Misty. i would have named her "big dog that can knock me over and break me in half", but it's not like i had a choice. yep, and mojo definitely isn't very happy with having to share his house and family w another dog. but he seriously has a butt sniffing issue because he won't leave misty alone. haha but awww she's really adorable!

okaaaaaaay, enough about the dog talk.

so yeah on thursday, i went shopping with lexi and alex during the day and that was fun. we went to PV mall and i got the lipglass from MAC that i've been eyeing for a long time. we dragged alex to all the girly stores, haha poor guy. "I WOULD LIKE FRONT ROW SEATS AT THE OLYMPICS IN ATHENS, GREECE!!!"

that night, we went to the tempe house and chilled again. that was fun! lexi was back and we were dancing all over the house and just being absolutely silly. i was in an unusually good mood too! haha except that the living room had the PS2 that played the music, and there was a bunch of creepy older dudes that wanted me to dance on the coffeetable, but i refused because that is just WEIRD. i do not want to dance on a coffeetable and have 6 guys just sit around and watch, thank you very much. HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES. (lol, lexi). there was this kid named brad who was there, and i recognized him bc he used to work at hollister! we had a bonding moment. and he's got spazzios (style of a rim) on his car, and i noticed that and i was like "damn my bro and trav would be proud of me bc i know my wheels!!!!!" yay!

friday night, ash, shan and i hung out and i got to drive the big ass durango for the night, which was fuckin awesome. haha LARGE AND IN CHARGE! i made the best damn cd ever and we were dancing in the car the whole time. we headed over to sean's house, then over to a casita over at the pointe. both of which weren't SUPER fun or anything, but we had a good time anyway. bren, joebutt and eric drove by and they recognized me bc i was climbing over a wall, and they started yelling for us, and we're like OMG YOU GUYS!!! and climbed back over the walls to go talk to them in the street. adventures, lol! then we went to wendys and got some food. actually we went through the drive thru a couple times, bc first shan was hungry, then i got the munchies too and the dude forgot our sweet and sour sauce so we were definitely enjoying ourselves going round wendys like 3 times. later we went to del taco as well, and ash and shan were dancing around in the adjacent blockbuster's parking lot, and then this car pulled up with two really sketchy dudes who wanted to talk to us probably because the girls were acting like strippers. AND THEN we stopped by busta's house and left him a note on his car. final stop was my house where we crashed on the couches and went to sleep.

saturday! i got to go into work at hollister! yay! no really, i had an exceptionally good day at work. maybe cuz i haven't been in there in a long time, and i hadn't seen all my co-workers and stuff. devin, this kid who used to work there, and then quit, is working there again! i love him to death, we like to dance around the store and he does a really good brit rocker impersonation, and i called him chris martin from coldplay! haha also we're "recruiting" or "hiring" bc alot of people are leaving for college and also we need more guys to work in the store. it was really fun just approaching hot guys and asking them how old they were and if they wanted to work at HOLLISTER!! OMGZ SOOO KEWL. hahaahaha. anyway, i found a pair of really hot twins but one lives in tucson and the other is leaving for new york. oh woe is me. i like the new managers, chris and calvin, they were really chill and nice. YAY!

well that night, lexi and i hung out and we had a really long conversation with our favorite, gian (of NATURAL SELECTION!! omg rockstar!! hahaha but he's gonna get me a cd because i missed his latest show. YES, he's in a band, and a really good one, at that) and then i did lexi's hair bc i felt like it and we had nothing to do, and we also called a bunch of people to leave them messages and have amusing conversations. yup that was fun. we finally headed out to tempe and hung out with juan-alicious and his buddies, and then later we met up with bobby and went to a frat party. i felt a little weird at the frat party because i was dressed like a skank and definitely felt like putting more clothes on. ah also, lexi and i challenged each other to a battle of the phrases! we had to interject phrases like "a little bit of this, a little bit of that", "same ol', same ol'", "whatever tickles your pickle", "whatever creams your twinky", "THANK YOU CAPTAIN OBVIOUS", "touche!" and "joanie loves chachi!" as many times as responses to anything said to us. HAH omg we are so damn weird.

today sunday, church was fun because the Watoto Children's Choir all the way from Uganda, East Africa came and performed for us. that was way awesome because they were just singing and dancing and these kids are like ages 7-13 and are just soo full of joy even though they're orphans! they're singing the national anthem for the diamondbacks game on tuesday or something like that. i felt like calling ashley up and telling her to come listen to some african music! hahahaha! it was great!.

i laid out today too, but i think i was in the sun for too damn long because i got dehydrated or something and got a headache plus a fever. eh. but i'm better now because i drank lots of water and had some dinner.

YUP. sorry for the rambling. i kept going off on tangents.


But you can't hide standing under these stars
They know everything, they know where you are
You're in your head, you're all turned around with it
And they're shining down their light to bring you back again

audio:: guster- "careful"

i have to scour my room for all my school books i used last year. apparently tomorrow is booksale day back at xavier, and that means i have to wake up at 6.30am to go sell books.

ugh. i can't imagine stepping foot back into that school.

but i guess if i wanna get rid of some books, and get some money, this is the only way.

however, lexi is home!! yep earlier tonight we were texting each other cuz she was back in arizona. haha i missed you so much logan!! we're gonna go to xavier together tomorrow, so at least i'll have company bc shan and ash are still training for starbucks.

tonight, they were having people over at the tempe house, but i decided to pass on that, because i didn't feel like driving out there, and ash said that there weren't that many people there cuz she stopped by.

there's a bunch of things i need to do... like my car's due for an oil change again, go to xavier to sell books, go to the at&t wireless store and get a new cell phone, alter those wraparound pants i bought in singapore so i can wear them, get a haircut and maybe hot pink streaks in my hair, get a new box of contacts.. the list continues *sigh*. i have a to-do list around here somewhere, but i need to find it first.

ah shit i fail at life.


don't leave this rock unturned
cause you could like what you find
a sure shot hit
with your name attached to it
will you keep me in mind
I won't cast the first stone
or leave the first mark
but I will leave a lasting impression
you believe what you want
and you said what's been said
and i do hope you learn a lesson

audio:: new found glory- "failure's not flattering"

i admit it.

i miss my brother.

last summer when he was away for his internship in san francisco, i had some issues because i missed him alot. but he called pretty often because he was lonely there and stuff.

but he's not calling now because he's probably having alot of fun in singapore with old friends and his girlfriend and everything. yeah i mean travis is supposed to try and be my brother for now, and i'm supposed to be like a best friend, but how can that be the same?

i just miss him, that's all.

but i do know that he got a haircut (finally, thank god).. and so now he has a faux hawk and i couldn't be prouder! haha, sam sent me pics of it and i must say i like it alot. yay!

office again today. eh the working world gets old really quickly, lol. my dad was supposed to leave tomorrow morning for a business thang in LA, but he cancelled it because he hasn't been feeling really well lately. lol and i was looking forward to having the house to myself for a few days.. with the exception of my cousin, but i mean i could just send him off to the neighbor's. lol. ah shit. i like walking/dancing around the house in my underwear.

i didn't go out tonight. ash is in tempe at her sister's apartment and shan is home.. since both of them have to get up early for starbucks job training tomorrow. ace ventura: when nature calls was on earlier, and i love that movie to bits and pieces. SHIKAKA! hahaha of course, for those that know, that's that white bat's name, and they always have that go off in the background when they talk about it, so its SHIKAKA all over the place. hahah I LOVE IT!

i finally changed my voicemail back to a regular message and so maybe now i'll get more calls since i was supposed to be back by august 9th at the latest.

the first day of school is august 23rd. god that's soon. watch out world, assertive holly will be kickin it at ASU! haha if i can get off my lazy ass, that is.


Confidence and ego trips I never took
You'll never know the places that I've been
Who is gonna sell me a miracle
Cause every star I've wished on fades away
And my universe gets dimmer every day

audio:: dexter freebish- "prozak (be like me)" HOLY SHIT i love this song!!

*sigh* long day at the office today, i had to do a bunch of letters for my dad, and then network my laptop and brandon's computer to the printer in the other room. i connected my laptop to the printer no problemo, partly because i'm such a geek. but then again i couldn't do brandon's computer bc he's on windows Me, and i didn't know what to do. lol.

also i needed to sort out some ASU stuff, i think i'm gonna land up in english 101 for the semester, not what i wanted bc with my english ap score i could be in 102. but hey at least it will be easier.. although boring. and another good thing is that my schedule is awesome. my classes go from like 9ish or 10ish to 3pm and i'm out, and then friday's i have one class. i have enough time to get from class to class AND time for lunch and all that shizzle. hah hot damn college will be off the hook!

i drove out to tempe again today to meet up with ash and shan over at the tempe house. we just chilled out there, which was really nice. sat out in the backyard, tried to get a "sexy" fire going on but failed miserably, having the boys so nicely offer me their laps because there weren't enough seats, re-met a guy that used to work at hollister who was really nice to me when i first started, oh and i can't forget the really good lapdance that ash got from ben. HOW he knows how to move like that makes me wonder if he practices alot. lol.

the drive to tempe is gonna kill me next year, i don't know how i'm gonna pull that off everyday, i mean it's fun just driving by myself and chillin on the highways and stuff with my music blasting.... but that's gonna get old so quickly. oh well good way to wind down i guess.

this was something i was thinking about while driving home, btw. WHY is it that sometimes when you're wondering why things are the way they are, the answer is right there, i mean literally WINKING you in the face and is as clear as it will ever be, but you just ignore it because it's not what you want to believe? ah the wonders of the human mind.


Got stains on my t-shirt and I'm the biggest flirt
Right now I'm solo, but that will be changing eventually, oh
I laugh more than I cry
You piss me off, good-bye
Got bruises on my heart and sometimes I get dark
If you want my auto, want my autobiography
Baby, just ask me

audio:: ashlee simpson- "autobiography"

second entry in one day! i must be bored!

in an act of pure desperation for change, i cut my hair off. into a short chin length bob. i did it myself too, and it looks pretty damn good.

JUST KIDDING!!!!

i could never do that. haha no i just grabbed my handy scissors and hacked away at my bangs again. dude these bangs take a lot of upkeep, lol. but they're really short now, about eye length. but i like em. i like it alot! wait till school starts and i'll be complaining that they keep tickling my eyes when i'm trying to write something. hahahaha.

i also painted my nails black and hot pink. on my left hand they're all black except for my ring finger, then on my right hang they're all black except for my index! and then for my toenails, it's the opposite for what i did with each hand. hahaha i have WAAAAY too much time on my hands.

but i'm cool, i know it, don't deny it.

wow saturday was a pimp day, fo sho.

i laid out and got my tan back again, yay! being in singapore, no matter how sunny it was, didn't really help me with my tan, lol it faded really quickly. but now it's back in action, woohoo! i'm actually contemplating right now about either laying out more, or going to the AT&T wireless store to check out cellphones (bc i need a new one so damn badly).

but anyway, ash and i went to kalman's, josh's, and mike's house last night for a partay. them boys are roomies for college next year, and so they have their house and we'll be partying there quite a fair bit :). it's dubbed the tempe house (i think). anyway, ash and shan and lex have probably been there quite a number of times, but it was my first time at the tempe house, and boy was it kinda krrazy. lol. there were so many damn people there, i knew about half of them, and the others were prolly just random people who saw a party goin on and stopped by. haha.

ash and i felt like there was some major ass whuppin that needed to happen, but being the civil, nice people that we are, we withheld. HOWEVER, we decided that ASU is gonna kick so much damn ass and we're not gonna sit down and let people fuck us around. i'm sorry, but some people definitely need to take the sticks that are shoved up their asses out. and i'm really glad that it's mostly the people i like that are going to ASU. this is a big FUCK YOU to the people who think they're superior to others just because they have more money or have slept with more people or thinkin they can mess with other people's minds.

i'm also sick of sitting around waiting for people to realize that they're missing out. i'm not gonna wait no mo. wow, ok.
/end rant

besides all that, lol i actually had a good time at the party, i <3 the boys at the tempe house.

oh yeah and i find it so completely amusing that someone is using my name and pictures on friendster.
http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=10697201

check it out, that's not me! lol if you check out the single friend that person has, the person impersonating me has left a testimonial thing for him, and that is NOT the way i speak/write at all!! hahahaha i was like, dude, i didn't write that!
omg hilarious!

and i think i need to go change the voicemail message on my phone to say that i'm no longer in singapore... lol.

later, bitches!


Because you push me over the edge
Tired of wasting my time, tired of wasting my breath
Because you push me over the edge
Tired of wasting my time
And you're putting me through this again

audio:: zebrahead- "over the edge"

aye. it seems like everyday is so monotonous.
i wake up, shower, gather my stuff and head to the office. at the office till 6-7pm, come home, have dinner and then get on the computer till i'm tired and go to bed.

it's like i have a boring desk job and i'm only 18. lol.

i only went out on monday to hang out with shannon, and then last night to a movie with travis. lol. WOW. so exhilarating.

okay okay i'm feeling kinda cranky.

but yeah the movie. we saw "harold and kumar go to white castle", of course it was funny, and i loved the part where they find "cole's extreme mix" in this dude's car and they start rockin out to amy grant and stuff. hahahah omg i laughed so damn hard! and i also like how they HAD to plug "dude, where's my car?", "where's his car, dude?" at the end. omg. love stains! hhahahaha it was such a stupid stoner movie, but it was great. and yeah they do mention some racial things that seem to happen alot but no one really seems to address those issues, but i mean the way the movie dealt with it was pretty lighthearted. THANK YOU COME AGAIN!

yeah. um. nothing really interesting going on, except that it's a friday night and i'm at home. because ashley and shannon are all the way in tempe and that's really far, so they're prolly off partying somewhere there, and lexi is havin fun in mexico i'm sure, and britt is in a cabin with anthony... lol i've never felt so lonely!

i think i'm gonna go take a shower and just go lie down or something.

another pointless entry from yours truly.


"I dont want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused"

audio:: linkin park- "breaking the habit"

halla halla!

so right now i'm at the office, chillin out.

except that i'm on my new laptop!!!!

aye caramba! i'm so damn excited! my dad took me get it yesterday, and i was all like "so hey dad, we're just gonna check them out right, ya know, look at what deals we can get, etc?" and he gives me this look and he says, "NO! we're gonna BUY it today!", and i'm like "whoooaaa, coool."

you can check it out HERE!

a fujitsu s6000 lifebook that's all mine :)

college here i come! hahahaha anyway i've got a cute little laptop optical mouse that has a retractable cord, and one of those funky notebook covers that's made of that wetsuit material to prevent it from getting scratched and all that bad stuff.

but yeah! i'm a happy new laptop owner! i picked this one because it was lighter, smaller, had the crystal view screen and longer battery life than the sony vaio k-27. that one had a bigger hard drive and a dvd burner. but i figure i can get an external hard drive when i need it and i don't really need a dvd burner, bc a regular burner is enough. plus this handy fujitsu can use my SD (secure digital) memory card from my panasonic e-wear. hahaha i feel like such a gadget junkie!

haha i'm so stoked.

anyway, i have to start building up my music and picture collections again. *sigh*

tonight i think i'm gonna go watch napoleon dynamite with travis tonight, or harold and kumar go to white castle. bonding time for the pseudo siblings! yay!

hey, you should test out ashlee simpson's new cd, it's pretty good, i mean it's like edgy pop rock kinda, not too shabby.


So break me
shake me
hate me
Take me over
When the madness stops
then you
Will be alone

audio::savage garden- "break me, shake me" (old school, i know)

back home!

so i've been back for a couple days now, and i'm getting used to driving once again, not seeing asian people all over the place, and not having random people stare at me, lol.

my flight was horrendous. it was about 20 hours flying time total, some transit time and one too many security checks. for the longest stretch of my flights, the 10+ hour one from hong kong to san francisco, i was stuck in the middle seat between these two big beefy dudes. one snored alot while sleeping and drank a little too much wine, and the other was a little too friendly and freaked me out a little but he took out his laptop and watched the matrix revolutions so i was a little amused.

yucky flight, i used to like airplane food, but i definitely don't anymore, and i like window seats, not middle seats. oh and one of my fears is to get lost at an airport (damn home alone movies) so i'm thankful i found my way around and stuff so i'm not in another country right now. yay!

when i got back lexi called and said that the river trip was cancelled and instead they were going to the marriott to just chill out in the lazy river and all the other pools and stuff. as tempting as all of it sounded, i (miraculously) took a rain check and just stayed home to unpack and relax after that whole flight thang. kinda wish i didn't because they had a great time, but it's okay to miss out on some things i reckon. (keep telling yourself that, holly)

but i went out that night, met up with lex, shan, steve and busta for dinner kinda, and then we went to fiddlesticks, which just so happened to be a meeting point, and then to jason's house. ash met up with us later, and i gave them their gifts and stuff and they seemed to like what i got for them so i was happy. we just chilled in jason's room, got acquainted with his collection of knives and guns and manly magazines, you know, same ol' same ol'. it was really nice to see everyone again though, so i was happy, but my jet lag kicked in and i was falling asleep with jason's comfy pillows on his comfy bed. ah oh well. plus i drove that night too, amazingly i was allowed to take my car out, but yeah i wasn't expecting to drive so soon once i got back from singapore (other side of the road, 'member?) so i was a little nervous about it, i admit. it's okay though, i did fine.

sunday, i went to church and hung out at home and washed my car, and then crashed at 10pm due to jet lag again. dude. lol.

monday night i went over to shannon's place bc i've never seen her house since she moved in, and then we went dorm room shopping for her. all the cute stuff at target makes me wanna go live in the dorms, dammit. my room would be so cute and themed! they have this black, white and hot pink set of bed sheets and pillows and stuff, and that would so be what my dorm would look like. but no, i'll be living at home. *sigh* well anyway, we went to wendy's and dairy queen and then back to her house to watch Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, which is by far one of the stupidest movies i've ever seen. i mean it wasn't even stupid funny, it was just all around stupid and i wish i didn't see it. it ranks up there with League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.... in my opinion. but i'm glad i got to hang with shan because she put some things in perspective for me, because my head's always up in the clouds and she brings me back down to earth. (how'd you like that for a metaphor, eh?) but yeah, she burnt me a copy of ashlee simpson's new cd, Autobiography, and it kicks some ass, and she burnt some cd of me (mmmm i like it like that, slow motion for me...). JOKAKE!

but i've been at the office, helping out and stuff. i can tell travis really misses my brother, and i do too, but it hasn't really hit me just yet, but i know it will sooner or later. one of their former classmates, brandon, is gonna join the team and he's gonna work full time with us. someone's gotta take over what my brother can't do here. yup.

um. yeah my computer is still in the dumps so i have to use this other one, my dad mentioned buying me a laptop to use in college (yay!!!) and i'm gonna save up to go buy myself a nifty new cellphone because i CANNOT stand mine anymore. oh yeah, and phil is in chicago right now and he comes home friday i think. yay! and then lexi left for mexico today and won't be home till the 13th or something, i will miss you logan!!!

and that's all folks.


Oh, you drive me crazy
Oh, you just bring me down
Look out your window
My sunshine's all around
All you have to do is just surrender,
just surrender...

audio:: ashlee simpson- "surrender"