simply put
name:holly gender:girl age:15 bday:27th June origin:Singapore location:USA

~Thursday, April 25, 2002~

got home late today. had to take the practice PSATS. well. i paid $29 for them to basically tell me im an idiot. great. i got a progress report thing for english class. we get them and have to show them to our parents. 10 extra credit points if we get it signed. well hesitantly, i showed it to dad. i have a B- in that class, due to my "horrific" writing. oh yay? well mr. dad is giving me shit about getting a B. hes all talking about exams are coming yada yada, you need to buck up. this is not good, a B in english? blah blah blah. ARGH! SCHOOL CAN KISS MY ASS!

~09:51 p.m.~

~Wednesday, April 24, 2002~

break out! haha, im in a better mood than yesterday. dance performance today wasnt that bad. i kinda messed up here and there and forgot a couple moves, and i was really nervous yet excited. but i managed to pull it off, so it was good. my group did GREAT on the group dance, i was so happy, 'cept we all forgot little bitty moves here and there, but they probably werent gonna be perfect anyway. im kinda glad theyre over, but i also kinda wanna do them again, so i can do better, you know? hehe ash and april's class went today too. tomorrow its kt, robyn and meg. theyre in the same group and i wont get to watch them because my art teacher might not let me go cuz the class is made up of juniors and seniors, and since im not a majority, i have to stay in class. ahh well. they were practicing today and i got to watch. if you ever have the chance to catch Footklan, its a dance group, like hiphop, breakdancing, etc., dont miss it, those guys are awesome! they were our dance choreographers and man, i think theyre pretty famous. darryl and kasiem were the guys who came and taught us our class dance. PS: i think i can do the c walk, MUAHAHA! ANYWAY enough dance talk. check it.

~05:46 p.m.~

~Tuesday, April 23, 2002~

yeah well i got my "16" essay back, the one i posted below. he graded it pretty quickly and i was one of the first few to get it back. WELL. you must be wondering, now exactly what did i get? well lets say its another failure to add to my list. i got a nice big fat C. 81%. well i was pretty damn ticked off when i got it back, the comments he wrote were also not very nice and argh. that kinda ruined my day yesterday. makes me feel like i NEVER want to write again. but im going to have to because my freakin school counselor called me down and arranged my schedule with me for next year. and she took the liberty of putting me into honors next year. which is going to be considered as an AP class. AP stands for advanced placement. which equates to a college class. so im in a deep pile of shit now arent i? if i keep doing so badly in everything, how am i gonna survive next year? tomorrow is dance performance day. OH GREAT. i can just about see myself wipe out infront of like 200-300 people. its pretty nerve-wracking to think about. so i feel like a failure, a loser and a weirdo rolled into one. sorry for my lack of good vocabulary. english is currently my worst subject in school.

~09:53 p.m.~

~Sunday, April 21, 2002~

had a boring weekend. on sat. went to get a physical checkup for school records for next year. $20 for them to check my eyes, reflexes whatever else. what a ripoff. anyway. went to the mall with kt, and got a good deal on a pair of denim capris with a frayed waistband. been looking for one like that for a while.$15! not bad! :) anyway other than that, its been boring, and i have to read the first seven chapters of huckleberry finn. eww.

~09:54 p.m.~

~Friday, April 19, 2002~

well i finally got down to doing that essay, and im going to post it here, because then i can get some constructive criticism? and also, then i can tell you the grade my teacher gives me at a later date. righty-o. here goes. (if you dont want to read it, then dont bother reading the rest of this entry:)) The “Teen” in Sixteen: A Personal Essay “Sixteen is the key and crucial and natural age for a human being to be, and people of all other ages are ranged in an orderly manner ahead of and behind you as a harmonious setting for the sixteen-year-olds of this world. When you are sixteen, adults are slightly impressed and almost intimidated by you. (33)” A Separate Peace Naïve. Innocent. Innocuous. These are just a few of the expressions that can be used by a typical adult to describe a sixteen-year-old. But, surely, they must know better, because they must have been the complete opposite of those adjectives when they were sixteen. Of course, they did not think much of it when they were that age, because I really doubt that any sixteen-year-old today would think the same thing. Well, I cannot demoralize adults to be such corrupted and calculating people, because if I were to say that, then I would have to say the same thing about my peers and myself when we are older, right? Being sixteen is not as wretched as you think, but yet, you either are, going to be, or already have been that age. It is not a joyride for every single sixteen-year-old out there either. Sixteen is an instrumental age because it’s recognized as one of those “transition” ages. Longfellow states “There is no death, what seems so is transition”. The word transition is fundamentally defined as “a passage from one form, state, style, or place to another.” In this case, the passage, or transition, is from a teenager slowly learning the hard way to become a full-fledged adult. Of course the age sixteen is just about the starting point for that development. Like Dickens once said in A Tale of Two Cities: “It was the best of times, it was the worse of times.” It’s when you learn how to drive, get your first car, fall in love (or think you might have), collapse under peer pressure, become exposed to parties, go through break-ups and hang-ups and finally, discover your true self. Somewhere between that time, many people can claim that when they reached the ripe, old age of sixteen, they realized they were not as innocent as they seemed. To their parents, they may seem like the good little daughter or son who will never go against their wishes. But, once these “children” find their own opinions and decide that they no longer want to be subjected to rules that their parents make, they begin to rebel. Rebellion is also an interesting adjective to use on an adolescent because as I have said, they decide that their parents do not understand them at all, and they just need “time and space” away from them. That, my friend, is when they discover themselves. They find out what they like and don’t like, what they enjoy, what they feel is a good way to get back at their parents. Sneaking out is one way, “borrowing” (or so they say) the car is another, and just basically any kind of behavior to that extent can cause parents to shake their heads and say, “When will you grow up?” Well, the truth of the matter is that they are all currently in the process of growing up. But the adults ask it anyway, and this causes the teen to think that since these parental units don’t understand, they have to so something else to make their parents realize that they are all grown up. It may seem confusing, but in all honestly, you probably know what I am talking about. Being sixteen is different from being thirteen. For example, when you are thirteen, the biggest thing on your mind is that now that you are officially a teenager, when are you going to hit puberty? But also, when you are nineteen, and at the end of the “transition” years, you just want to be accepted as an adult and respected for your decisions, as you try to splash into the seemingly unfriendly world of adults. But, sixteen is right in the middle, and just like being a middle child, it can be both the easiest or worst of the lot. It’s when you don’t want to conform to the thin margins of society, you feel like you need to break free, and just be yourself. You want to let people know you are no longer a temper-tantrum-throwing, mud-eating little kid anymore. Parents should be cautious about their sixteen-year-olds because they may follow your rules, but may be dying to break free from their grasp, just like Juliet and Lord Capulet in Romeo and Juliet. We all know how that story ended, and it was incredibly tragic. Obviously, the decision made by Juliet in the end was not the smartest course of action to be taken and I am in no way condoning it. I am also not saying that all teenagers have parents who are not sympathetic. But on the other hand, perhaps I am trying to touch on the idea that maintaining good relationship with teenagers is a good thing, because maybe then the parents can see that we are actually sensible people with emotions and opinions on anything and everything, just like them. Sometimes all we need is a little advice and a push in the right direction, because we do not always know what is best for us, but everyone makes mistakes. It depends on whether they learn from their mistakes, but that rests with the teenager. The quote from John Knowles’ A Separate Peace is poignant and very true. Sixteen is an age, just like any other, but I think it holds a little something more. If you have had your “Sweet Sixteen”, I am sure you smiled at all the beaming faces around you and thought to yourself: “Wow, I’m finally sixteen.” I am not a psychologist, professor, or adult and I might not have any idea what I am talking about, but just remember, I’m sixteen. okay. thats it. i think its a little informal for my teachers expectations, and he hates my writing. so it shall be interesting to see what kind of grade he gives me. and copyright yada yada, DONT STEAL MY ESSAY!!!!!!!

~07:03 p.m.~

~Wednesday, April 17, 2002~

dang, been practicing dance for a while. im sweating like a maniac. anyway, due to the lack of comments in the guestbook, i shall continue blogging anyway, because its very theraputical, and i trust that if youve visited here before, you must have written SOMETHING in the guestbook because if not, youre a big fat STALKER!. oh alright, i didnt mean that, but humor me and sign it anyways. brought the cam to school today, snapped pics here and there, shall upload them soon. hopefully. burnt 3 cds last night, one for robyn, one for kt and one for me:) i bet you in my sleep tonight i shall be metally dancing out all the built in dance moves. I HAVE A MATH TEST TOMORROW! ahh well. math has never been my strong point, and i should really get started on that english essay. oh holly, stop procrastinating!

~09:20 p.m.~

~Tuesday, April 16, 2002~

somtimes i get so caught up with life, i hardly stop to think about anything else. its sad really, but i just want to step outside, stare into the sky, preferably at night, so i can see the stars and just think. i like the stars because, my friends back in singapore, esp. jean, said that if i looked at the stars at night, she'll be looking at them too, and thinking of me. but lol in reality, that cant happen because they're 15 hours ahead. but hey, its a nice thought. the reason why i just want a time out, is because this week has been so darn hectic. next week will be too. NO KIDDING. dance performance is next week. its traditions week in school, and so many activities going on. big essay due in english on friday, i havent started. NHS meetings, student co. meetings, co-ed student co. meetings, argh! application deadlines, big sister deadlines, oh and MORP( the opposite of prom. morp~~prom, get it? its an informal dance, and soph stu. co. have to plan it.) is next friday!!!!!!! kill me now!

~09:31 p.m.~

~Sunday, April 14, 2002~

righty-o. got back from church and had lunch (mee pok mind you, mom cooked). anyway, the musical last night was pretty good. we sat like front row offcenter, so our vision was slightly skewed. BUT it was pretty damn funny and all. i think i had really high expectations but oh well. lots of technical problems with the mics. we heard like "fuck, did she just say that?!!? oh man that means i have to go on!!!!" hahaha. offstage frantic people. hehe but the costumes were cute and it was funny:). couple cute guys too. w00t! i was thinking so much about the musical in church, going through the whole thing in my mind. and then i was thinking of my horrible auditions i went through for the plays, then our dances coming up, and then next year's many many activities. i could die from the stress. anyway back to my auditions. it makes me feel like a failure you know? i dont know what it takes for the directors to take me. im just waiting one day for someone to come and tell me "holly, you really suck at acting, so dont bother auditioning. dont waste your time, and save yourself the embarrassment." yeah, ive obviously thought about it. but i dont know if i should try out again next year. eh. decisions decisions.

~12:45 p.m.~

~Saturday, April 13, 2002~

wow. its saturday and im bored out of my wits. im not kidding. i awoke at 11am. i watched tv, ate lunch, talked on the phone and now im just BORED!. like seriously bored. i dont want to do hw, i dont want to read, i dont want to watch anymore tv. im in an irritated mood. pms, and just im annoyed at everything! i was snapping at my mom today, and i know i didnt mean to, it just came out. so what in the fishmonkey can i do now?!?!

~02:25 p.m.~

~Saturday, April 13, 2002~

ayee! i havent been updating. i admit it, im too lazy sometimes. hmm i cant even remember whats been going on. oh. ive had a shitty week, full of meetings and deadlines and dancing and homework and bad grades. even dancing isnt all that fun anymore, because the performance day is coming up soon, and we're gonna be the first class to go. eh. and well, we have to do the class dance(which sucks, let me tell you) and then theres our group dances, and then we each have to perform a solo, and THEN chrissy and i are gonna do a little solo thing because i need the credit because i didnt turn in some assignments. i hope i can cope(ooh that rhymes). well yeah, crappy week, only one good thing to look forward to. and thats the school musical im going to watch tomorrow! im actually kinda excited to see it, its supposed to be really funny and all. yay! i wanna laugh my ASS off. anyway, the musical is "into the woods", a comical mixture of fairy tales. yup yup. well, im feeling SO lonely right now and im dying for some company. but its past midnight, and all my friends are in bed cuz theyre exhausted from the weeks work. i, however stupidly took a nap today, and now im wide awake. anything else i can ramble about? OH yes. (and you thought you could get away?? muahaha) righty. my school and our brother school did this questionnaire thingy, and they calculate the results and you get your best compatibility matches with the guys. its funny, kinda dumb, and you get a good kick out of them. ANYWAY, you get your best matches from your grade, and then from the whole school, a best friend match( and on mine, i got ash, which was kinda freaky cool! lol, coincidental? i have NO idea), an astro match, a fortune cookie, a horoscope, an ice breaker and a celebrity match ( i got brad pitt! AAAAAHH! *faints*) hahahaha. RIGHTY. im so bored im talking to one of my online friends in spanish. how pathetic! SoulSiSta027: DONDE ESTAN MIS PANTALONES!translation: where are my pants?! GuitarPhreak311: ? GuitarPhreak311: en mis gatos!translation: in my cats! SoulSiSta027: pero, tus gatos son en el arbol?translation: but, your cats are in the tree? GuitarPhreak311: sitranslation: yes WEIRD!

~12:20 a.m.~

~Saturday, April 6, 2002~

ooh yummy!just polished off a bunch of japanese crackers. hehe yes yes, we went to the chinese supermarket today, i love going there. all kinds of goodies unavailable in normal stores here. :) yup, im a happy kid now. i should have stayed home and worked on my art instead. guess ill be "burning the midnight oil" tonight. school starts up again on monday. eeeeeeeeek. oh the horror! i do NOT want to wake up early and go to school. spring break needs to be longer. seriously. ack! bought a brand new poster last night, couldnt resist. so now i have a beeeeeauutiful sexy mark mcgrath gracing the wall of my room. yay!

~06:04 p.m.~

~Thursday, April 4, 2002~

AH!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cut my hair today. it was getting pretty long, and heavy, and just a little too much to take care of. so i got about 2 inches(5cm) lobbed off. argh! i HATE cutting my hair. as a kid, i had to get my hair cut for school, because the crackpot principal made it a rule for everyone to have short hair. well lemme tell ya, everytime i got my hair cut, i would cry, and get home and just bawl at the loss of my hair. it sucked and i was go glad when i got here, i could keep my hair as long as i damn well wanted. trimming my hair is no problem. not much difference there. well i just got alot cut off and i was feeling the same old haircut-hating-kid feeling all over again. well the dude for one, didnt layer my hair very well, geez. so i got home, scowled at myself in the mirror, grabbed a scissors and layered my hair right. i daresay im pretty damn good at it. now ive showered, dried my hair, and well it doesnt look too bad now. *phew* i know i know, hair grows. but my childlike phobia of cutting hair, will probably always be with me. from boob length hair to about in between boob and shoulder length hair. at least i didnt cry this time. :) audio::apollo 440-"stop the rock"

~08:19 p.m.~

~Wednesday, April 3, 2002~

ok i guess this is the numero uno time pitas has eaten my entry. oh joy. ANYWAY lets see what i can remember. righty. first up, oh yes, i have been neglecting my poor blog for a good reason, ive been really enjoying my spring break. :) yeah, there was the sugar ray concert, ashleys sisters 18th bday party, spending time outside in the sun getting a tan, dipping in the pool, goin to the mall, etc regular stuff. kt ended up staying here for 3 nights cuz her parents decided to take a road trip up to LA. hmm. what else? geez, i really dislike losing my entries. oh. about the friend and the guy i liked. yeah well, ive decided that i can always go for another guy, and im not gonna let some boy destroy my friendship with her. i think things are going great, for me at least, because while shes still trying to figure out if he really likes her or not, im better off, because i dont have to worry about things like that, and i mean, if it was meant to happen, then it would have happened for me. if not, then hell, its okay! whatever happens, happens, right? anyway, i also know it doesnt bother me like it did before, because she can go on and on and on about him, and i dont get that jealous feeling. i feel pretty normal, and happy for her. :) see? im getting through things :) one more thing. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAMMIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! righty, im done.

~04:22 p.m.~