whispers of the butterfly...

oO Saturday, March 29, 2003 at 10:28 p.m. Oo

wow, today has basically been a driving day for me! its prolly the most ive ever driven, and its not like a whole long trip, it was more of a collection of short trips here and there. in the morning, i went to get a physical check up for the school's records next year, and my dad made me drive home, and i went on the highway for the first time! it wasnt as scary as i thought it would be. it was kinda nice, just goin at a regular speed, minding my own business. i enjoyed it. and then i came home. and later i drove my dad to the fed-ex office so he could mail some stuff, and then to the car dealership again to check up on some papers. then i came home. and i just went to go pick my friend (lexi b.) who lives 2 minutes away (in the same neighborhood!) and bring her back here so we could chill together for a while. and all this with either my dad or brother sitting next to me. but i just dropped her back home and i did it all by myself! no bro, or dad. it was such a rush, driving all my myself, with some good charlotte playing and cruisin in my neighborhood. haha i had fun. (as you can tell, my driving has improved alot! lol). for today, i really like driving! esp. in my cute sporty BRIGHT ASS YELLOW car! hahahaah. it makes me haaaappy. *grin*
um lets see. i have plenty of hw, and i take the SATs again next saturday, in the midst of the confusion of the musical. ack. my dad will kill me if i dont raise my score. but ive come to terms with the fact that im just going to be going to arizona state uni, just like my bro. my dad wont let me go out of state. *sigh* kinda sucks. i had all these high hopes of goin to college in san diego. *sigh*
enough enough, i shan't let anything dampen my spirits.
we had the spring sports rally on wednesday, and it was also the last rally of the year, which means its usually rigged so the seniors win, bc its their last rally ever. but this time, us juniors rocked the house!. (or school!) we were supposed to perform some kinda skit and show off our "talent" bc the rally was centered around the american idol show. and so my beautiful junior stu co and others came up with a song and dance number. lexi and anny sang JUNIORS, which is a parody on the song RESPECT by aretha franklin. "what you want, juniors got it, what you neeeed, juniors got it, all im askin, if for a lil spirit, at the rally!!!!!" hahah great great. and we all had a choreographed dance in the back, and it was soo funny bc it was all old school moves like the lawnmower, sprinkler and running man. SO fun!. i was wearing our class shirt and like bright orange pants and a funky green hat. YEAH ive got class spirit!. it was crazy, and we won so it was all frickin worth it (even worth all the bruises i got from rolling around and kneeling on the floor). YEEEEAH. take that seniors! they were so pissed off. lol. i felt kinda bad, but we earned it. YEAH!.
cant remember anything else, and if it was important, i would say something but, blah. dont got anything.
oh btw, lexi and i were talking about how we both dont have dates for prom and that it sucks because we dont even have any prospects. ugh. it would suck SO bad if i couldnt go to the prom that ive worked my ass off on planning!!!! its crunch time dammit. prom is about a month away! *rips hair out!*
happy birthday rachel!! and kerryn!
later. im out. my contacts are so dry.

audio:: something corporate- "punk rock princess"

oO Monday, March 24, 2003 at 11:27 p.m. Oo

whoa. ok i have alot to say. lol. ill try to make it quick. i just thought id say something, bunches of stuff have been happening.
first things first. today was the executive board student council elections. so nervewracking, it was crazy. i was so nervous and scared. well i gave my speech (i quoted lilo and stitch :ohana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten), and i wore a flower in my hair as just something random, and someone actually told me i looked like lilo! haha i was so flattered when i heard that! haha anyway, well i was up against jenny, whos one of my student council buddies for like the last 2 years, and shes so frickin awesome, i love her. and we sorted it out, and we said no hard feelings cuz we're cool like that. and so it was all good. well. i won! im officially executive board vice president! wow, power rush! lol it was so great. ive never been so happy! i just feel so bad for jenny, i wanted to talk to her after school, but i couldnt find her. :( anyway. ash made it too! shes public relator which means shes gonna be on the morning announcements every morning! yay for her accent! lol! everyone else who made the council is great, i couldnt ask for more!. YAY BRITT, GELL, TICKLE, PUNIS, ASH, and HEIDI! WOOHOO!.
well today at rehearal... we're opening in about 2 weeks, so its definitely crunch time now, its going crazy, and we're so not ready. anyway. i had a talk with april. or at least, note passing with her. haha and we were addressing the issue of what makes a guy hot. for april, she loves her matt, who is part gothic, kinda but hes got a babyface and shes in love with him. its so adorable. she likes boys with personality and individualism. i mean everyone does, but with her, its taken to a whole new level. its a refreshing change, really. well i determined that i liked boys who had a style of skater, punk, preppy and surfer all rolled into one. mm so hot. lol. and i like guys with a lean/athletic body type, not the whole bulky macho type. ew. um and also i forgot to tell april that i wanted a guy who smelt good. ah, gotta smell good. like that Axe deodorant. omg. i go crazy for that stuff. and also calvin klein Crave! SOOO good. ok, ill stop with that.
oh i also want to reaffirm the fact that i like hanging out with boys. not because its like OOH boys! but its more of a i get along with them better i guess? but not that i dont get along with girls, because i really do, and i have no problems. most of my friends are girls. but i feel that i understand them a bit better,and if i had a preference, id pick guys. dunno why. im weird like that.
oh. my music taste is spreading! haha im getting people hooked on relient k, simple plan and the all american rejects!.
Recommended songs :
Relient K- "Sadie Hawkins Dance"
Simple Plan- dammit, any of their songs are SO good.
All-American Rejects- "My paper heart" and "Swing Swing"
Noise Ratchet- "Crush" (its a mandy moore song cover)

oh prom is coming. eh. i hate the whole i need a date, dress, ticket, etc, thing. but. i have to partake in it because i need.. all of the above. dammit. i do NOT need this stress.
im out like a girl whos on a diet who sees some donuts and gives in.
late, homiez. (haha!!)

oO Wednesday, March 5, 2003 at 09:18 p.m. Oo

i havent been updating much because lotsa things have been going on and i can barely have time to sleep. i have a couple things to say though. this week has been absolutely shitty, i had the worst day yesterday, not because something big happened or anything, it just was because of school, grades, stress etc. it really sucked. today wasnt that much better. prom planning is on a roll and its crazy. the invitations im in charge of are coming along, but the stress is mounting. and we're making the video that announces the theme either this weekend or next weekend here at my place, so that will be some crazy shiat. its gonna be good though, we have a great script and storyline that lexi and i came up with. well the ideas were from everyone, but we actually wrote it. haha oh. um and i have to say one thing about friendships. i believe that they should be unconditional ALWAYS. and that friends listen to what you say, and best friends listen to what you dont say. i like this quote "be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter dont mind" - unknown.. well my point in all this is, i try to be the best friend i can to everyone and i really dont mind doing anything for a friend. but sometimes it just hurts when you treasure people so much and they dont seem to treasure you back. if they mean the world to you, and you're really just another friend, not anyone special. it really sucks and i hate feeling this way, but for about the past month i have really felt like that, and man, it sucks ass.
ok i got that off my chest now. i feel a bit better. well another thing is : boys. god, they really suck. i mean, if youre a guy and youre reading this, dont get me wrong ok? guys are great, they make life complete, but sometimes some of y'all can be either really dense. or just plain dumb. whatever, i dont want to deal with boy issues now, my life is currently made up of school, student council, prom planning and homework. wow, such a nerd.
well, ive just been feeling rather depressed this week, and no one really knows exactly why, even i dont know. but still i hate being depressed, and i just need to pull myself out of it and quit frowning, bc i guess you can say i wear my heart on my sleeve and people just can tell when im unhappy, so yeah, i dont really have time to explain to everyone you know? its not that i dont want to, but i just get so frustrated with myself that sometimes i dont want to talk to people, but yet i want to talk to someone who will understand and listen you know? sheesh. i contradict myself so.
well. out of this mass of shitty events and stuff. there is one good thing that just shines and puts a smile on my face and thats because my parents bought me a car on friday and im just so gosh darn happy -jumpoverthemoon- style. its great, i can actually say i have a car, of my own. and im so happy about that. its a 2003 dodge neon in bright "Solar" yellow, with a dark gray interior. yes, just looking out the window and seeing it on the driveway makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. :) i love my car! i join all car owners out there who know what its like to love a car. i need a name for my baby. and im gonna save up and order some hawaiian print seat covers. :)wooha! well since i cant technically drive bc i dont have a license, i have my permit so its all good, im driving around with my mom/dad/bro. :) yay for cars, but boo -bigboo- for school and life issues.

AUDIO:: Finch- "Letters to You"

oO Sunday, February 23, 2003 at 02:43 p.m. Oo

good news and bad news! good news: its the weekend. bad news: its sunday, and so theres school tomorrow. lol
well anyway. last night was a blast! we had a surprise birthday party for our beloved april! see, she likes to tell everyone her birthday is on different days, so as to confuse us and so we all actually dont really know when her real birthday is (its monday, i found out) but we decided to throw her a party because last year we didnt celebrate with her. so yeah. :) she was SO SO SO SO shocked because she had NO clue whatsoever that we were planning this all along. even her boyfriend told her that he "was going out of town" so he couldnt celebrate with her. *heehee*
but it was good, she was so surprised and so happy. :) yay! mission "Operation Jester" accomplished. (yeah i called the whole thing Jester, i dunno why, i just did, it sounded good. haha) we went to laser quest and played two games there, its been such a long time since ive played! my code names for the games were: Roxy and Ho-Dawg. yepyep. the others had funny ones like grilledcheese and wang and fish tycoon and bunny and rommel and cupcake! haha it was great. :) after the laser quest-ing, we went back to her house and had pizza and had some karaoke and twister and spin the bottle(but that got old after a while). at one point though, this guy named brandon was trying to put cake on my face and i wiped it off and tried to put it on his face, and so we ended up having an ice fight with the ice that was in the icebox. yeah, lets say ice is really cold on bare skin. ;) yeeah. we also let all the balloons go afterwards too. but thats bad for the environment isnt it? oops. :(
anyway id just like to say happy birthday to my apey, and i hope she had just as a good time as i had. :) love ya hun!!!

audio:: Evanescence- "Bring me to Life"

oO Tuesday, February 18, 2003 at 11:44 p.m. Oo

oh my
its been a busy day for me. ive been working nonstop since like. 4pm on prom invitations, homework and a bunch of other things. gee im tired. and i have so much to do tomorrow! hopefully ill survive. *sigh*
i need a hug!!

oO Monday, February 17, 2003 at 06:25 p.m. Oo

hmm. i guess you can say i go through phases of constantly writing here or not writing for a looong time. lol well i guess since ive revamped the layout, im updating it cuz it looks pretty. how superficial, lol but ah well deal with it. ANYWAY. today i went driving in the neighborhood for like. an hour and a half. and i bet i scared alot of other drivers. i get nervous when other people are on the road, which basically leaves me screwed, but i just need to practice practice! im getting better though, my turning is a bit smoother now. its fun! haha just a word of caution, if im driving anywhere near you, just be careful, lol!
i guess i forgot to mention this yesterday, but i went to Zia records (cd store) yesterday with my brother. i managed to get The All-American Rejects CD and the Simple Plan one. simple plan you ask? yes, i burned all their songs already, but i just wanted to own the real copy, i mean sometimes you just have to you know, when you reallly like a band? hehe ok. im done
btw, hey wilson! i havent talked to you in so long!!!! come online soon yeah?
'nuff said for today :)

AUDIO:: 50 cent- "In Da Club"

oO Sunday, February 16, 2003 at 11:34 p.m. Oo

yay! new layout, this one is pretty purple and butterflies. but the sad thing is, i didnt create it! hehe i got lazy and just took a layout from LissyDesigns. heh. if you want one, theres a link somewhere on this page. shes got lots, its really cool to see all the different layouts. of course, lol i customized it to have all my links and such. so i actually did DO some work. oh and theres a new weird picture of me, so cheers!

oO Sunday, February 16, 2003 at 02:36 p.m. Oo

wow-ee. i have been so un-motivated these days, that i cant even update this thingy. lol. well id like to say quite alot has happened, but in reality, nothing really drastic i guess. i cant even think of anything worth mentioning. oh wait. rofl. thought of something. i went to the charity ball on feb. 8th, and it was alright i guess, it was kinda like the christmas dance, i didnt have that great of a time. it was sad, my date didnt know how to dance, so it kinda blowed, we just sat by the tables and it was just awkwardness. yeah, who says i dont have my awkward moments. grr and i hate it. anyway. um lets see. ive been occupied with school mostly, the musical is a while away, and im only an extra, but i have to stay till 6.30 about 3-4 times a week. which is a PAIN in the ass, but my crazy director requires for all of us to be there. i think she should really revamp the rehearsal schedule. people dont show up because we dont do anything except sit and wait for about 3 hours. so wouldnt it be better to call people that you need for certain dates, so the actors will show up on time and be there because theyre actually needed? hey, i think thats a good idea. :P
for prom planning, hmm. im in charge of invitations and you could say its definitely crunch time now. urgh i feel the stress already. May 3rd is prom night,and its coming up soon. and the whole fiasco of dates and dresses and argh. not AGAIN. *rolls eyes* nooooooooo, lol!
valentines day.. i really dislike that holiday. well yeah, im bitter, lol i didnt have anyone to spend it with. and i mean it sucks for either party, because if you have a valentine you have to stress about what to give, what kind of card to get, where to go etc etc. well it could be good stress, but its still stress. lol. and then if you dont have a valentine ( a category to which i STILL belong), then youre all bitter and depressed. lol. well im not depressed, it kinda felt like just another day. haha which is a good thing i guess. there i go again, contradicting bs.
lol before i totally confuse myself i shall stop right here.

audio::Meril Bainbridge- "When i kiss your mouth" (one of those songs that will always be classic. hehe)