argh.
today has been one of those days.
*sigh*
ive felt thoroughly depressed, and i know why.. its because ive been home all day and ive had nothing else to do but to think and think and think.
thinking is poison. i swear. it brings up insecurities, problems (that may or may not exist), and just thoughts that just jumble up EVERYTHING.. it's horrible
i'm wallowing in self misery and it's the pits.
it's so disgusting how i can't even describe how i'm feeling. im that incoherent.
right now. i guess i can just say i only feel only as worthy as a "driver" and very unwanted. left out.. same deal
i wish i could quit on life. no. i dont mean dying or anything like that. i mean quit, like. not having anything to do with people or whatever. quit on school, on people, on friends, on responsibilities? just. quit. go some place far away and never have to deal with anything. live as a recluse or something. the desire for alone-ness. but if so, i would literally die from thinking too much. oh, how i contradict myself so. but isnt that the easy way out? isnt that running away from things?
oh, but i have that desire now.
*sigh*. but thats cowardly, eh? no, i'm not running away, literally. i guess i mean i have too much inward contemplation, and i just feel a need to be able to clear my mind of all thoughts sometimes and be at peace. haha how very om. nono. i cant describe it. im already confusing myself.
maybe i should pick up yoga and meditation or something.
i had more to say, but i dont know how to put it into words. ive always had that problem. no wonder i suck at essays and all.
nevermind.
well. the only thing left in my head is this song jean used to sing all the time.

Are you tired of chasing pretty rainbows?
Are you tired of spinning round and round?
Wrap up all those shattered dreams of your life
And at the feet of Jesus, lay them down.

Give them all, give them all, give them all to Jesus
Shattered dreams, wounded hearts, and broken toys.
Give them all, give them all, give them all to Jesus
And He will turn your sorrows into joy.

He never said you only see sunshine,
He never said there would be no rain.
He only promised a heart full of singing
About the very thing that once brought pain.

Matthew 11:28
"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

my mind is worn out but yet as i try to fall asleep later, it will be working full speed ahead about all kinds of nonsense. i think i need to pick up occlumency (harry potter style) and clear my mind before i sleep, so it is less tumultuous.
goodnight, its been an [un]eventful day.

halla.
i decided to start using my LiveJournal again. well not for regular blogging purposes, because this is for that. and i cant let my beloved serenaded page go!! oh no.
yes, however, i AM tempted to just dump this and go back to using the easy, nice interface of LJ, but now, i shall just use that as.. a shopping journal? a random quote journal? a quizlet journal? a music reccomendation journal? a dream journal? i dont know, i'll use it for something, if not all of the above!
nah. i cant not have my serenaded page. too much love for this. heh. :)
anyway yeah, you can just go click on the link of the left and it'll take you there so you can see what's goin down over there. ;)
man. ive been having these freaky ass dreams lately! i think its because now since ive been able to get enough/sufficient sleep bc its the summer break, that i can actually go back into a regular sleep cycle, that the dreams start up again. bc during the school year, i barely get enough sleep and thats probably why i dont dream? ok nevermind, just my musings.
went to the oasis last night, met up with our buddy jason and his friends. apparently these friends have heard stories about lexi and i... which is rubbish, really. ive never seen those guys before. lol. funny funny. we left there, and then we decided to go say hi to jon at his house, so we went there, stayed for like. 20 minutes and had to leave cuz lexi had to be home. poor lex, jon's dog almost mauled her over. haha what a weird night!!
ashley comes home today! i dont know what time, but yeah. yay! and tonight is girls night with the DPC! woo. i'll be headed over to bailie's later. should be fun fun!!
i gave up the chance to go over to san francisco for a few days to visit my mom and brother to stay here with my friends. i hope that was a wise choice. so this summer is gonna wind up me being in town the whole time. that bites. my dad is gonna go instead of me. my mom needs some stuff there bc she's going back to singapore, and i was supposed to bring it to her, but now my dad will. ah. i really really hope i didnt make a mistake by choosing not to go. but i really hate missing out on stuff. im already missing out on that singapore trip.. argh.
nevermind i'm done.

audio:: Vanessa Amorosi- "absolutely everybody"

okay. im sitting here surfing around, and drinking my strawberry slush from sonic [once again]. everytime i take a sip its like *ZAP* brainfreeze .. it's a little unnerving, but its like i cant not drink it!
ah reminds me of the good old days back in singapore, when i used to walk home from the bus stop after school. i'd stop at the 7-11 and get myself some candy or a coke slurpie/slushie. mm mm good, thats all i can say.
good times, good times.
ya know today i got really bored, so i sorted through some of the school junk they sent in the mail. i'm gonna work out a carpool with lexi, cuz thats the ONLY way to park at school. for now, that is, unless there are spaces, then they'll hand out single tags. *sigh* i read through the horrible handbook of rules again. grr. it makes me just cringe in anger to see all the stupid rules they make. and i was talking to lexi about this yesterday. bc of the new multimillion dollar fine arts complex theyve built, we have to have more classes, which means a longer school day. gah. utter and complete bullshit.
i am SO not looking forward to school again.
once more year in that hellhole and im OUT!
anyway on to a happier note.. kinda.
i was reading up on all the buffy episodes cuz i caught 2 the other day and was intrigued by the storyline. i used to like buffy alot, and then it got really dumb.. but i got interested again. i read season 6 and 7 and whoa thats some trippy stuff. i didnt know spike dies.... :(((( thats really sad! he was the coolest character, all bad boy and everything! *sigh* oh well. no more buffy after that. right?
anyway this saturday should be a sleepover with the DPC!!! (Drama Party Crew.. consists of the people i did the play and musical with!!! yay!) we're gonna chill at bailie's and do stupid stuff! oh boy, it should be alot of fun, i can't wait! i'll get to see bailie, rocio, ashleigh, kathleen and PUNEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they be on FIYAH. *excited*
ok im done.
in my famous words.. "bye bye now"

audio:: liz phair- "why cant i"

i'm alive! i really am! haha!
wow its been quite a dinky while.. i keep telling myself, tomorrow i shall write in my online blog! and . no. LOL! such a procrastinator, and not only with this, but also with my summer homework. like my AZ. history and economics packets and all those projects, and then the 3 books we're to read. *sigh* im avoiding those books like a plague!... save meeeee i am such a bum!!
um yes ive been up to stuff every now and again..
the movies i've seen, both rented and in theatres : old school, just married, how to lose a guy in 10 days and 2 fast 2 furious. all very good and 2F2F was just nutty intense but i loved it! yay i had such a ball of a time lookin at all the cars!
my panasonic e-wear finally arrived! and ive been just spazzing out and recording alot of videos of just us being stupid!! hahaa its great, i love it and its so small!!!! it fits in the palm of my hand! woohoo! *grin* i love it i love it!!!!
my dad went out of town too, and took my cousin with him, for a few days and so i was all by my lonesome!! its fun, i like being home alone, i have this sense of freedom, i love it! :)
hmm i also went clubbing one wednesday, that was alright. nothing too spectacular. i felt really ... old. compared to the kids there i dunno.
mom and my brother came home for the 4th of july weekend!!! that was fun! haha we went shopping on the 4th and man i got a bunch of new clothes (a pair of brazilian low rise jeans.. mm great fit, 4 tops and a new roxy bikini!!!!!!!) haha wow i think my birthday list is practically all fufilled!.
hmm yes, my brother went out and got me a charlotte russe gift cert, and an all american rejects tshirt and pin!! hahaha! never before has he gotten me such a.. BIG gift. :) thanks kor! you da bomb. haha. i guess when he's bored in san francisco he goes shopping, and eats sushi. but he got a couple new cds...and he got the new sugar ray cd, which i sneakily burned a copy of ;) haha its not bad, i guess, very chill and laid back. i think 14.59 was their best cd..
hmm. kay so ive been laying out a bit and workin on my tan.. my new bikini is so cute!! i dont know exactly how to describe it, but its cute! haha ok.
ashley left for cabo, san lucas, mexico on saturday. she'll be gone till the 12th. haha she must be having so much fun!! im envious, she's at the beach. oh well. we went to a party at tommy's house and that was alright, not too shabby. anyway, on saturday, we had a nice party over here!! haha a.. 5th of july party :) apparently my bro told some of his friends that it was to celebrate my bday too, but a late celebration.. so charlie and his parents gave me some money.. and it was in birthday cards too, and i totally wasnt expecting it and i feel kinda bad.. but anyway my bro invited a bunch of his friends over and i had lexi over and we had fun! hehe she got to meet all my bros crazy friends.. hehe oh well ash missed it but i bet she's enjoying herself in cabo anyway.!
heh i really enjoyed having my whole family together again. even though for just one weekend. it was nice! i miss my mom and bro alot so it was really good to have them around again. and i'll be seeing them again at the end of this month, i think. :) dads got a couple more business trips, and moms got her singapore one coming soon. oh well
ive typed alot, my fingers hurt!!
im going to go get something to eat downstairs.. heh. :) the house has been restocked, since mom was home last weekend! lotsa food!!!! mom said i lost weight. and thats not a good thing to say to someone like me. lol im already underweight, i do not need to be losing any of it unneccesarily. but i guess thats what happens when theres literally no food in the house. its true about me losing weight, i didnt realize it till my mom said something. its not drastic or anything, but my clothes are a bit looser on me. even extra-smalls dont fit!! its bad!!!. anyway my concern about that has kinda faded off, since we've got oodles of food now. so i should be fine :) yay.
alright im out.

audio:: garbage- "cherry lips" (i took so long to find this song, its the one that plays on the vh1 commercials.. go baby go.. !! yay!)

edited to say: i forgot to mention that my mom also brought back from san francisco a BUNCH of clothes she got for me there. mostly from the sales rack at the gap, hehe! theyre all tops, and all very nice!! yay!!!!!! it also seems like ive been getting alot of stuff lately, and i have to say, i am very grateful. VERY. i dont think i deserve all of it, its a little overwhelming.

so. today is my birthday. i turned 17 in a nice quiet way. i was just lying down on my bed for a bit as the clock struck midnight.
ah.
heh sheryl called me at like 1am and we chatted for a bit. heh its been a long while since ive heard your voice! :) that was so nice! thanks for calling darlin! I MISS YOU!!! you made my night/day! hehe.
alrighty. today i woke up at 10.30.. which is like the earliest ever since summer school ended. lol. thanks to a nice wakeup call from lexi. yay!
got ready, went and picked up lexi, and headed over to desert ridge, heh met ashley and katie there. and we went to watch charlies angels 2: full throttle. heh despite what other people are saying about it. i loved it! hehe im a sucker for good music and chick flicks. so hey. :) i thoroughly enjoyed that. and yeah. :)
dropped everyone back home.. (seems like the birthday girl got stuck with the driving, lol) and came home. the plan was for us to go home. ashley goes to work, and when she gets done we would go do somethin else. well i was planning on lex and ash just coming over here and hanging out. renting a movie or something. but yeah those plans got cancelled because my dad decided that he was gonna take me out for a birthday dinner since i'd hung out with my friends all day. i thought that was a little unfair, because i had already told him that that wasnt neccesary bc mom and my bro arent even here! so i had said we should wait till they come home. but no.
*sigh* i dont want to sound ungrateful or anything. but i was looking forward to hanging out with the girls. oh well. cant be helped right? and i didnt want to get yelled at by my dad on my birthday. so i went along for dinner. and oh well i guess it makes up for everything because we had sushi. much appreciated, good food! :)
so yeah. my day wasnt what i had wanted it to be, but it's ok i guess. except that ashley went off with her new guy and rented a movie with him.. i feel a little left out but whatever. *sigh*
nobody really gets what they want all the time, right?
*shakes off bad thoughts*
okay okay. i'll cheer up.
thanks you guys, for the birthday wishes and all. :) that was really nice of y'all.
oh. heh i guess i should mention the stuff i got! hehe i love it all! lets see. i got a really cute card from my cousin and he also got me some tshirts from american eagle like last week. so hey. hehe. and my grandma gave me a beautiful heart shaped pendant with diamonds on it and a white gold chain :) heh my mom kept it till now for me! hehe. uh..kt got me a gift certificate to american eagle! woohoo! geez i love that store.
hmm. ok from both lexi and ashley i got a really hot black miniskirt from XI Clothing(yay!), gap so pink body mist, victoria secret eyeliner, a baby blue roxy emblem and a new found glory poster(which was wrapped as a.. .. heh.. .. *grin*) !! haha thats like almost everything off my wishlist! lol which they printed out and brought with them while they shopped! hahhaa! so yep! thats what i got today:). i snapped some pics of us today.. and i have yet to upload them. if you wanna see them.. talk to me online and i might email them or something. gosh im so thankful for all my friends and family. :) thanks guys!
heh now i just await (with ants in my pants!!!) my e-wear from my parents. :) and heh. my brother called me twice today to wish my happy birthday :) yay!
alright. im done. i'm gonna go watch.. jackass or something. ...*short 2 second pause* ...ah. screw it if today wasnt perfect. just so long im happy, its all good. :D
*MUAH* thanks guys! i love you all!

audio:: the troys- "what do you do"

alrighty. as my birthday looms horrendously close (tomorrow!) i decided to take this survey/quiz thing, just to see how much ive changed over the last year :) [ripped from ginny.. =P] btw, this is hideously long, so uh, read if you have time!

------------
---Basics---
------------
FIRST NAME: holly
MIDDLE NAME: xinghui
LAST NAME: -heh i don't like it!!
NICKNAMES: hol, hols, balls, cookie, roxy, punis/puney, some people insist on calling me xinghui but they butcher the pronounciation lol!, hollister, i could go on..
GENDER: female
ADDRESS: WHAT. no way am i posting this here.
PHONE NUMBER: uh. those who want/need to call should know it already :)
BIRTHDAY: *grin* TOMORROW DAMMIT! june 27th
BIRTHPLACE: good ol' singapore. aka HOME heh.
AGE: 16 now, 17 tomorrow. woo fuckin hoo!
ZODIAC SIGN: Cancer: from alloy.com-> Go barefoot today, Crabby. Chillin' without your kicks on will help you feel more connected to your environment. Plus, taking your shoes off will keep you grounded -- literally and figuratively! Just beware of broken glass and slimy bugs.
SCHOOL: eh. xavier. dont get me started now.
MASCOT: school mascot? that would be the ugly gator.
GRADE: SENIOR! (well yes, technically.)
LIVING SITUATION: with parents, im still in highschool.
SIBLINGS: one brother
NAMES: bradley
AGES: 19. omg, i just realized, hes gonna be 20 soon!

----------------
---Appearance---
----------------
HEIGHT: 5'2" and not growing :(
HAIR COLOR: geez. a whole mix of dark brown, dark red, brown, dark blonde.. most of its all growing out though.
~HAIR STYLE: poker-straight, flat, bleh. i like it wavy though! and i will do that more often :)
~HAIR LENGTH: about mid-back. again! its grown!!
~EVER DYED IT: oh geez. like many many times!
SKIN COLOR: im working on my tan.
EYE COLOR: dark brown
~GLASSES OR CONTACTS: glasses at home, if ever. and contacts for everything else.
BRACES: never
FRECKLES: hopefully never
STYLE: my style? hmm. sporty/surfer/beachy/comfy ha!
PIERCINGS: one in each ear lobe. i still want the belly ring. dammit!
TATTOO (S): none, but im thinking of one later down the road.
RIGHTY/LEFTY: righty;)
SHOE SIZE: it varies.. 4-5 kinda. ive got ickle feet.

----------
---Pets---
----------
CURRENT PETS: one dog named mojo
MOST UNUSAL PETS You'VE HAD: nothing unusual, ive only had dogs.
BEST CURRENT PET: since i only have one, hes the best ;)
HAVE YOU EVER SAVED YOUR CAT?: never had a cat, but i like ash's cat! tigger! hee.

---------------
---Favorites---
---------------
COLOR: turquoise, blue, orange, pink, red, quite alot really.
RELATIVE: from moms side-> they're all great i guess, i love em all. with one exception. i wont say who though. from dads side-> i have to say... uncle doug and lisa and laura! woohoo!
TV SHOW: im an mtv nerd. but i do watch real world. and the OSBOURNES!!!!!!!!!!
CD: hmm i burn most of mine. but of the ones i bought.. the all american rejects!
MOVIE: as of right now? i love finding nemo.. all time favs though? theres alot i guess.
SHAMPOO: pantene. classic clean shampoo and daily moisture renewal conditioner (a must for my hair!)
COMMERCIAL: hmm. i'll always like the snickers crunch commerical.. when the guy stomps all over the telemarketers phone thingy. TAKE THAT TELEMARKETERS!
BOOK: fuckin' harry potter, thats what!
MAGAZINE: i have subscriptions to seventeen and YM, and i might be in the next issue of YM.. heh. ;)
SONG: as of right now right now: yellowcard- "october nights" ive made my friends listen to this a bunch of times, they might be sick of it already.
BAND OR GROUP: the rejects (no doubt about that one), i like yellowcard, the starting line, the ataris, taking back sunday, but not so much good charlotte, new found glory and simple plan anymore.. thats a change, i guess!
SINGER: jason mraz for his remedy song, john mayer and michelle branch.
FOOD: HOW CAN I PICK ONE? I LOVE FOOD! and sadly, i am constantly hungry.
ANIMAL: aww doggies! i watched ice age yesterday, and i think i have an incurable love for tigers and saber-tooth tigers too!
SCHOOL SUBJECT: lunch dammit. i used to like art, but im a horrible failure at it. so i dont like it as much. but i'll always like english (thanks rausch-dawg, for my A!)
BOY NAME: ohh...Hayden, and Gavin.
GIRL NAME: Riley, Kay, Leigh
HANGOUT: ah. d-ridge i guess. (desert ridge.. lotsa kids go there now, to my chagrin)
RESTAURANT: islands! or bahama breeze
FEELING: favorite feeling? ah. i'll be a sap and say knowing that you are loved.
ICE CREAM: i'll have to go with ginny and say macadamia brittle from haagen dazs. mmm and cant go wrong with vanilla though.
VACATION PLACE: i'd say hawaii if i've been there, but till then, SAN DIEGO!
MUSIC: punk, alternative, techno (YAY LEX AND ASH!).. and pop i guess.
STORE: american eagle, XI clothing, PacSun, charlotte russe and wet seal ;)
DOG BREED: oh geez. i used to be NUTS about dogs, so i can recognize most breeds.! nerd, i know! uh. ok. i will always love german shepherds. but momo is a chowchow/lab mix, and hes adorable.
CAT BREED: i dont know cat breeds. but YAY ASHLEY'S CAT! aww tigg-tigg.
BIRD BREED: i dont know bird breeds, but YAY LEXI'S BIRD! awww lola!
FISH BREED: CLOWN FISH! YAY NEMO AND MARLIN! "fish are friends, not food" =P
DAY OF THE WEEK: ive never really had a fav day. but i guess fridays are always good. and mondays usually suck my butt.
DAY OF THE YEAR: christmas :)
MONTH: hmm. the summer months.
SEASON: oh, haha! summer, of course.
SPORTS: im not a fan of sports, lets put it that way.
PLANET: uranus. HAHAHAHAHAHA. sorry. no jupiter is cool. pluto is cool too bc thats the name of goofy's dog!
RADIO STATION: i flip between 104.7 kiss fm, 101.5 the zone and 103.9 the edge, and 92.7/101.1 energy: the techno station. hehe.
TV STATION: mtv, and the hbo channels.
WORD: favorite word? hmmm.. i dont have an inkling about what word is my favorite. what do you think?
QUOTE: everything is ok in the end, if its not ok, then its not the end. .. and flow with the go! heh.
NUMBER: 27
SODA: coke. im trying to cut down.
PERFUME: lucky's lucky you, or gap so pink.
GUM: polar-ice, my gum of choice.
WEATHER: hot! well. quite hot, heh. i like a breeze. just but nice spring weather, cool=good.
ACTORS: geez. y'all already know. hayden christensen.. well rob osbourne, but hes not really an actor.
ACTRESSES: the. angels. are. awesome.
CEREAL: im not particular about that. anything sugary/honey-esque is fine.

------------
---Future---
------------
IN FIVE YEARS: i'll be graduating from college. yay!
DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED: of course
MARRIGE SEASON: i think spring would be nice.
PLACE: in a church, yes, in a pretty white dress!
HONEYMOON: HAWAII DAMMIT
SON'S NAME: hayden jay
DAUGHTER'S NAME: riley kay, or piper leigh
JOB: lol. whatever i'm successful at, i guess.
GOALS: to graduate from highschool, first. lol. then college. and hopefully i'll find out what i want to major in. heh. i'll continue with furthering my education, i guess.

-----------------------------
---Name makes you think of---
-----------------------------
RYAN: my cousin.
ALEX: Lacroix, the guy whos parties we went to.
TIFFANY: my other cousin.
PAUL: chrissy's bf. i remembered his name!
ABBY: who sat behind me in math.
BRIAN: brian brian.... dont know of any. cant think of anything. OH WAIT! the guy sheryl [used?] to like!
PHIL: phil! morning phil!
SALLY: those tshirts i used to have, with the sally emblem. lol. weird! i wonder where those have gone.
SARAH: michelle gellar!
DERRICK: thats a hot name.
ALLEN: tim allen.. home improvement, i never liked that show
JODIE: FOSTER!
SAM: sammie! sammiekins! hehe
MICHELLE: branch. already mentioned her. heh.
JESSICA: alba.
LEAH: NO. LEIA! LEIA FRIMMEL! YEAH! woo shes a darlin
ERIK: ERIC! MY DADDY!
BILLY: billy? BILLY FUCKING WILSON! THATS WHO! *drool*
JOSHUA: uh.. uh..*thinks* OH! sheryl's cute friend!
DANIEL: oodly familar. oh. dan short, dan long..ahh funny funny
BRITNEY: lol. doh spears
CHRIS: CHRISSY!
MARIO: i think of 2. super mario, and mario the dude i talk to online sometimes.
SHANE: ashley's sister's ex bf.
BRAD: MY BROTHER! or. brad pitt. or brad rich. ;)
ROBERT: ROB OSBOURNE!!!!!!!!
TIM: quote from ginny, i just realized something. "*GRINS* TIMonthy Chen, the j2 that everyone thinks is cute. Sheesh." OMG. TIM! haha oh boy, what a small world. tim chen/tan.. same dude right. and hey you guys go to the same school. i JUST realized. TIMMY EVERYBODY THINKS YOURE CUTE!!!!!!! haha! ginny! timmy! do i have a story for both of you!
JIM: carrey!. bruce almighty!
BEN: affleck. ugh.
BRANDON: april's crazy friend.
JAMIE: i like that name.
KELLY: yay buddy! hehe one of my friends :)

---------------
---Right Now---
---------------
WHAT COLOUR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?: haha once again, GINNY! im wearing those old PL shorts too. and YES i STILL have them. haha. dark blue with a yellow stripey thing.
WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO?: pink- "feel good time" the charlies angels' theme song.
WHAT TASTE IS IN YOUR MOUTH?: Sonic's strawberry fruit slush! mm!!!
WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?: HOT! ahhaa well its just another hot summer night!
HOW ARE YOU?: a little excited, cuz my bday is tomorrow. *grin*

---------------
---Do you...---
---------------
GET MOTION SICKNESS?: no. not usually.
HAVE A BAD HABIT?: PROCRASTINATION
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?: sometimes. well, now i do. heh.
LIKE TO DRIVE?: YES! fuck yeah i like to drive!
SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?: no. just 3 pillows and a quilt.
TYPE WITH FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?: NO. no, i do not.
DRINK?: when im not driving. haha, yeah at parties and stuff. but not recently, cuz im designated driver.
SMOKE?: no. i detest it.
ANY OTHER DRUGS?: no. i detest it. pot stinks too bad as well.
KNOW ANYONE WHO DRINKS UNDERAGE: HAHA! well, doh, yes. haha.
~SMOKES: yes
~DOES DRUGS: yes
~LOST THEIR VIRIGINITY: yes
~WORSHIPS THE DEVIL: no
~IS CRAZY (REALLY CRAZY): eccentric= my dad, a real nutcase= no.

-----------------
---Have you---
-----------------
BROKEN THE LAW: heh. yeah. mostly its state curfew.
RAN AWAY FROM HOME: well no. but once when i was a kid, i walked down the street to see how far my brother would come after me. i sat down on the curb, and he came running a few seconds later. heee. im such a naughty girl.
EVER CHEATED ON A TEST: please, lets not talk about this.
STAYED UP TILL FOUR ON THE PHONE: WHOA. haha yeah till 4 exactly, yes. that was when i was leaving singapore.
SNUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE: nah, the garage would make too much noise, bc i have to take my car out anyway. but no, my dads cool, i dont need to sneak out.
EVER GONE SKINNY DIPPING: no but i will! i have a list of stuff i need to do before i die. lol
MADE A PRANK PHONE CALL: hahaa. yeah, stupid ones.
EVER TIPPED OVER A PORTA POTTY: haha NO! but oh man the smell would be horrendous! i'll stick to just watching jackass. hahahaa.
USED YOU PARENTS' CREDIT CARD BEFORE: not without their knowledge.
SKIPPED SCHOOL BEFORE: no. i know i would get caught, so no.
PEED IN THE SHOWER/BATH: thats the new place to pee man, hasn't anyone told you?
FELL ASLEEP IN THE SHOWER/BATH: once, when i was sick. i almost did.
~ WHILE EATING: fell asleep while EATING? haha. NO! i can just imagine food falling out of my mouth! HAHAHAAAAHHA. whoa ok that wasnt that funny.
~ WHILE DRIVING: no, not yet and i hope it never happens!. its scary, i imagine.
~ IN CLASS: haha OH YEAH. im pretty [in]famous for this one.
DRIVEN A CAR: yes. my car, my brothers car, my dads car. whee ive driven them all. hahaha. i've even driven kerryn's (ash's sis) car! ash has parked my car a couple times too. hee.
GONE TO CHURCH: yes, YES i have.
READ THE BIBLE: i have read it, not the whole thing. just parts, but not regularly. :|
EATEN SUSHI: mmmmm. ;)
~FISH: yeah i happen to like it, too
. ~CAVAIR: i dont think ive had the chance, and if i have, i didnt know it. and i think its spelt caviar.
SEEN SOMEONE DIE: no. this would be a bitter subject if i have.
BEEN IN A FIGHT?: well theres my aikido training, but no, not a real fight. and well play fights with my brother! WHICH I WIN! HAHAAHA. ok well maybe not all the time..
STAYED HOME ON THE WEEKENDS?: yes. im a nerd like that. well sometimes i just feel like staying home. :)
STREAKED: haha NO BUT I WILL VERY SOON!. (lex and ash.. get ready)
BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL: no, actually. but to visit, yes.
FLASHED SOMEONE: HAHA. um. not technically.
KISSED SOMEONE OF THE SAME SEX: no, and i dont ever intend to. ick.
EVER MET SOMEONE FAMOUS: YES! YES! haha well my cousin lisa already is, but other than her i met 3/4 of the rejects!!!!! *swoon*
BEEN ON A PLANE: yes. many times.
~ MOTORCYCLE/BIKE: OOHH! HAHAH YEAH!!!!!!!!! on alan's! omg that was the coolest thing ever!
~IN A SCHOOL PLAY: yes. one play, one musical. its a rush, i love it.
WENT SWIMMING IN THE OCEAN: hmm. kinda. i guess. yeah.
CRIED IN PUBLIC: yes. many a time. not good memories.
LET A FRIEND CRY ON YOUR SHOULDER: yes, thats something im good at. :) yay friends!

----------------------
---Which is better?---
----------------------
< HUGGING OR KISSING: :) neither is better, both are good.
MUD WRESTLING OR JELLO WRESTLING: both would be fun i guess.
WHITE MILK OR CHOCOLATE MILK: regular white milk.
DEAFNESS OR BLINDNESS: NEITHER.
BLONDES OR BRUNETTES: brunettes. im biased.
SANDALS OR SHOES: flipflops.
ORANGES OR LEMONS: neither is better. i like both.
DOLPHINS OR HORSES: dolphins
PEPSI OR COKE: coke, mos def.
CD OR TAPE: LOL TAPE? thats so old! its cd!
LEONARDO DiCAPRIO OR FREDDIE PRINZE JR.: freddie, i guess
LOVE OR LOPEZ?: NEITHER. ugh.
BEVERLY HILLS 90210 OR DAWSON'S CREEK: once again, NEITHER. UGH!
7TH HEAVEN OR PARTY OF FIVE: what horrible choices! neither.
DIET PEPSI OR PEPSI ONE: pepsi twist. hah.
CHOCOLATES OR FLOWERS: flowers :)
RAIN, SUN OR SNOW: SUN!
PEN OR PENCIL: hmm. im indifferent.
DARK OR LIGHT: depends!
ROSE OR LILY: argh. shitty choices! i like both.
SKITTLES OR M&MS: skittles. TASTE THE RAINBOW! haha
VANILLIA OR CHOCOLATE: vanilla
BLACK OR WHITE: like em both/

-------------------------
---Friends? ---
-------------------------
Who is the?
BEST: my bunch of friends are the best, thats what.
FUNNIEST: whoa theyre all funny.
CUTEST: april. without a doubt
SMARTEST: meg- geez. SO intelligent.
CRAZIEST: haha. all crazy but ashley takes the cake for craziest dancing!
MOST STYLISH: hmm. everyones got their own style, i guess.
FLIRTIEST: hah. ash takes the cake again.
QUIETEST: meg.
LOUDEST: me. haha. "OW MY EARS!" sorry ash!
SWEETEST: ALL!
WEIRDEST: i need to put puney somewhere. she goes here. yay punis!
BLONDEST: we all have our blond moments. hahaha!
OUTGOING: lexi! and ashley also! and me! haha kinda.
DULLEST: NONE DULL!
ONE WHO HANGS OUT WITH YOU THE MOST: ashley and lexi.
ONE WITH THE BEST SMILE: wow. meg's got a beautiful smile, YOU NEED TO SMILE MORE!
ONE WHO LIVES THE FARTHEST: haha all the buddies in singapore. yep.
ONE WHO LIVES THE CLOSEST: lexi. we're practically neighbors. same neighborhood anyway.
ONE WHO YOU KNOW THE BEST: i know ashley the best. and katie, but we kinda drifted.
ONE WHO YOU'VE KNOWN LONGEST: um. those singapore buddies. ginny goes back to pri. 4, and i think sheryl is pri. 5?
ONE WHO YOU GET ALONG WITH BEST: ashley and lexi. thats why we're together all the freakin time.
--those are shitty questions. in my group we have the mother, the intelligent one, the boyscout, the heartbreaker, the politician, and the eccentric artist. and the last one is me, but i dont have a "name" bc they cant categorize me, so i go by the angry pixie of death. HAHA. so the opposite!

----------
---Love---
----------
BOYFRIEND: i dont have one.
GIRLFRIEND: i dont swing that way.
DO YOU LOVE HIM OR HER?: if there was a guy, i would!
HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN TOGETHER?: :|
VIRGINITY EXISTANT: yes.
CHILDREN?: no i do not have children.
WHO WAS YOUR FIRST CRUSH?: heres the interesting story! it was timmy! :) heh and as said before, TIMMY EVERYONE IN YOUR SCHOOL THINKS YOURE CUTE! because my brother used to say your last name was chen, but then you say its tan, so its you! im so sure! timmy is the cute j2! *does a jig* YOURE A STUD! omg, what a small world. the 1st guy i had a crush on is now the stud of his school, and one of my best friends back home is in the same school. WHAT A SMALL WORLD. hahaha funny funny!
CURRENT CRUSH: now? uh. *grin* only a few people know.
BEEN IN LOVE?: no.
HAD A HARD TIME GETTING OVER SOMEONE: yes, a very HARD time.
BEEN OUT WITH SOMEONE: been out? like on a date? lol yeah.
TOO SHY?: yes, in front of guys i really like, im terribly shy, its disgusting.
BEEN HURT?: well. in a sense, yes.
HAVE YOU EVER SAID "I LOVE YOU" AND MEANT IT?: not to a guy/bf
CHEATED ON SOMEONE: no, i have not
YOUR GREATEST REGRET: argh regret. it sucks. lets just say that.
GONE OUT WITH A SOMEONE YOU ONLY KNEW FOR THREE DAYS: no.
HAD/HAVE AN ONLINE RELATIONSHIP: NO. thats so wrong.
WHAT WOULD YOUR DREAM DATE BE LIKE?: haha ive never really thought about this. but it would be really nice. i guess haha. im so pathetic.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED OVER A GUY OR A GIRL?: cried over someone? wow. a while ago.
WHAT'S SOMETHING YOUR BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND/CRUSH DOES THAT SENDS THAT BOLT OF ELECTRICITY THROUGH YOU?: heh, i cannot answer that.

------------
---Random---
------------
ROLLERCOASTERS -DEADLY OR EXCITING?: EXCITING!!
WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED AND IMPORTANT POSSESSION?: my car. my computer. my cell phone. all the stuff in my purse.
WHEN YOU WAKE UP, YOU: *sings* "when i wake up, in my makeup, its too early for that dress..." *end singing*. heh. nah, when i wake up, its in the late afternoon, and yes my friends take great joy in making fun of me for that, but i dont mind. :) i sleep all i can during summer.
YOUR MOUSE PAD HAS ON IT: uh. the mouse! hehe i have one of those funky optical ones, i love it! and my mouse pad is just plain black. nothing fancy.
WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?: oh. posters of mark mcgrath and other hot guys, some of my art work, and those stupid free AOL cds.. i stick them shiny side up on my wall, and ive accumulated quite alot, it looks really cool.
WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED?: NOTHING! haha j/k you naughty one! usually a tank top/tshirt and boxers.
THINKING OF RIGHT NOW: im really lonely! lol. i want a boyfriend!
WHAT DO YOU DO THAT REALLY PISSES OFF YOUR FRIENDS: i get really really annoyingly loud.
DO YOU HAVE A JOB: no. im looking.
YOUR CD PLAYER HAS IN IT RIGHT now: the cd player in my room has nothing bc i put all my cds in my car. but in my car's cd player.. its a 6 cd changer. and i cannot remember whats in it! mostly mixes though.
AFTER SCHOOL/WORK YOU: come home, fart around, do some homework, and sleep. :) but its not school now IS IT!HAHAHA
IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE?: ooh ooh, i know my crayola colors! I WANNA BE ... MAGENTA! OR FUSCHIA!
WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?: aww, that phrase reminds me of my old layout for this blog. um. what makes me happy.. lets see. my friends, my car, flowers and knowing that someone loves me! but that latter hasnt happened yet. lol.
WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GONNA GET?: hmm. my brother just got sugar ray, so i dont think theres any i need to get. lol i'll just burn it.
WHO DO YOU CONSIDER YOUR GOOD FRIENDS TO BE?: ashley, lexi, katie, megan, robyn, april and kelly. and leia, chrissy, puney, bailie, ro, val, ahh i cant think. singapore friends? oh geez. sammie, jean, ginny, sheryl, noodle, nadia, TIMMY YAY!, man brain freeze, i so cannot think. if i forgot you, eek im sorry!
WHAT KIND OF CAR DO YOU WANT?: we wont talk about what i want, bc thats just not possible to have. haha. but what i have is a 2003 dodge neon in yellow AND I LOVE IT TO BITS AND PIECES AND IF I DONT KNOW YOU DONT TOUCH IT! :):)
DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF ATTRACTIVE?: not right now, my hair is a mess, i havent showered and all that. yay smelly people!
DO YOU HAVE A CD BURNER?: yes. :)
WHAT DID YOU DO YESTERDAY?: nothing!
WHAT DID YOU DO TODAY?: nothing! hahahaha
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS?: shower. and sleep.

------------------------------
---When/what was the last...---
-------------------------------
THING YOU PURCHASED: food. today. sonic. dinner :)
TV PROGRAM YOU WATCHED: ice age.. on hbo. that was yesterday.
MOVIE YOU SAW AT THE THEATER: bruce almighty. i WAS going to go see dumb and dumberer tonight, but im too lazy.
TIME YOU WERE GROUNDED: uh. the month of finals.
WORDS YOU SAID: "dad, mom's on the phone!"
WORDS YOU TYPED: ..phone!" ... hahahaha.
PHONE NUMBER YOU CALLED: ashley.
PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE: mom.
THING YOU ATE: SONIC. for dinner. mmm :)
THING YOU DRANK: my strawberry fruit slush. uh random comment: geez this survey is really long.
SONG YOU HEARD: zebrahead- "playmate of the year"
PERSON YOU SAW: dad, hes in his room.
PERSON YOU HUGGED: uh. haha i honestly cant remember. prolly lex or ash when i dropped them home. gave them the "i cant reach you really well bc im sitting in my car seat but heres a hug anyway" hug.
PERSON YOU KISSED: neil. dont want to think about that.
PERSON WHO SENT AN IM: (im=instant message=an online message, hehe ginny. its an AOL and american thing.) that.. would be lexi.
YOU GOT A REAL LETTER: wow. well i get mail from colleges everyday, but a REAL letter? haha a while ago, i think it was sheryl! hehe :)
YOU GOT E-MAIL: the last 3 would be from.. noodle, mom and timmy!.... most of it's junk and i tend to delete chain letters. so.. i keep important mail only. and those are!
TIME YOU CRIED: oh god. uh im gonna sound so stupid. but i cried while reading the harry potter book. hahaa. but the real last time i cried. .. when i got kicked off student council. *shiver* i dont like thinking about that.

-------------------------
---Your thoughts on...---
-------------------------
ABORTION: it's not the baby's fault, dont kill it!
TEENAGE SMOKING: bad for health yes, but terribly unavoidable today.
EATING DISORDERS: bad bad bad! DONT!
RAP: a little disturbing. but im not a fan of hardcore rap.
MASTURBATION: its like procrastination, youre only screwing yourself in the end. haha i read that somewhere and thought it was hilarious!
PMS: gah. it sucks.
MARILYN MANSON: tainted love... haha weird.
GUY BANDS: you mean BOY bands? its gotten old.
SPICE GIRLS: wow theyre old. lol
TITANIC: man that sex scene was steamy. hahaha
JERRY SPRINGER: stupid, staged, talk show. ROBYN DO YOUR OWN RENDITION SHEWANNAMAN!
RAPE: eww eww ewww.
SUICIDE: uncalled for. dont do it.
SELF-MUTILATION: aww man. thats nasty. DONT!
DREAMS: heh. ive had alot lately. some disturbing. but mostly good. mine are always a mix of america and sinagpore. its weird.
TRUE LOVE: maybe i'll find it one day.
A SIGNIFICANT OTHER: someone who understands, feels and loves you for who you are. awww how cute.
WORSE FEELING IN THE WORLD: having your parents be disappointed in you, guilt, regret, and missing out.


gosh, i am SO done with that.