Wednesday, December 31, 2003 01:38 p.m.
had afterglow yesterday which i personally felt was very good. the reading of hebrews especially since there are many many warnings, encouragments and truths. worship was wonderful too. so great just praising the lord along with the rest of the youth community. went over to yado's house after that to drop off his guitar, see the dead fish (yes, his fish actually died!! but i still don't think my fish killed his fish. i must examine its death!), checked the fishes, took a picture of his small fish tank and sit the swings at the playground before boarding 66 which brought us to toh tuck road instead of upper bukit timah road so we ended walking there to meet chang, yaozhang, dee and guangzhao for prata supper. ate ate ate then yz drove all of us back home. haha. at sixth ave junction, we took a picture of the car in front of us just as the green light came on haha. it was to make him think he got caught on the red light camera for beating the light or whatever. i will get down to uploading photos very soon. i still don't understand why it takes so long just to upload 5 photos!! be patient people!! i'm going to start on my geog NOW. sarah's entry about the time when the guys came over to cook is comical haha. it was rather much a success contrary to popular belief that the 4 of us would end up eating burnt food! haha anyway, watchnight service tonight at 10:45PM! come come come! :) lunch time! toodles. (this is so sarahwong-ish)Wednesday, December 31, 2003 09:53 a.m.
last day of the year!! that means i have only 2 more days of holidaying before school starts. i think i haven't played enough this holiday! it's probably been one of my best holidays with camp, growing in faith, learning a few new things, friends, late night suppers, everything! i'm going to try doing some geog today. can't procrastinate any longer. like everyone's started on theirs and are half way through? the year hasn't begun yet and everybody's already so hardworking. argh. scared of how things will be next year when the A levels are approaching and then people get all caught up with chasing the A's (me included though i hope i won't be obessed and start being all competitive and neglect people's feelings). but yet excited about what the new year will bring, the new challanges i'll face in my spiritual and academic walk and all. well, happy new year's eve to everyone. reflect upon the numerous blessings that God has showered upon you this year, the lessons he had taught you, the mistakes you had made so you'll be able to perhaps not repeat them and to really spend a few quiet moments of the last day to pray and commit your new year resolutions for the new year and to ask the Lord to continually in the new year, to guide you, to show you your mistakes, to protect you and your loved ones and to give you the spiritual discipline to still seek him with all your heart doing quiet time and even attending church regularly and for the relationship between God and you to be one of a closer and intimate one.Monday, December 29, 2003 11:42 p.m.
i just spent 10mins on the phone arguing with yado chia about the fish! ahh the fish! i can't believe i'm getting so stupid and sappy! haha. see, when he came over just now, i gave him his christmas present which was a fish! no wait, 2 fishes! 2 very beautiful fishes! 2 extremely pretty and beautiful fishes in an extremely lovely thick glass tank and a pink straw! (to blow air into the glass tank) and what did yado chia do? he emptied the fishes into his tank which apparently is 6 times bigger than the one i gave him. and MY FISH KILLED HIS FISH! i think he lied. hahahahahahaha. i don't believe it. i don't believe it. i bet his fish got sucked into the filter or his fish got jealous that my fish was so beautiful so it committed sucide! hahahhah. and you know what about his tank and his fishes that make me want to faint? his big tank equipped with a filter and some oxygen pump has only 2 small miserable fishes (which are pretty in his eyes) hahaha. they're smaller than my fish!! hahahaha what a total waste of space! and he first thought my fish was some mini luo-han!!!!! righttt! hahah i couldn't stop laughing. this is getting so bad. haha. and when yado's father saw the fish tank, he said it must be from some woman. (the pink straw gave it away! but i still believe that it's because the straw was pink and not like what yado said. the straw in the first place was dumb) hahaha. now i've got to think of a name for the other fish because i've been given the honour of choosing since he chose one! the other fish is already called hannah. i'm soooooo honoured having a fish named after me considering we both agreeded that fishes are dumb. hahah but yado chia has something in my possession. a picture. a lovely picture with flowers in the background, my moon pillow and a ribbon :) there! our ten minutes plus phone call on my fish, his fish, the tank, my tank, his father, my pink straw and the fish names. no wonder all the mobile phone companies are making so much money!! haha what an end to my wonderful wonderful day spent with the birds and yado,chang and dan cooking in my kitchen (the paper towel caught fire, thanks to chang.) and then playing endless rounds of bridge teamed along with lots of retardation and laughter! :)Sunday, December 28, 2003 10:29 p.m.
just as i started whining about how i feel rather uncomfortable around a certain someone and how that certain someone can be rather bossy, gossipy, judgmental and exclusive and how much i hope we wouldn't have so much contact with each other, matthew 5:43-48 came into mind. "you have heard that it was said, "love your neighbour and hate your enemy." but i tell you : love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." --- Matthew 5:43-48 how wonderful. i mean i really think she's unfriendly. i try smiling and being nice and she strikes back with a super long face. she's hostile towards me for reasons unknown and the way she try to attract so much attention is just omg! but all of a sudden, i'm presented a chance to perhaps get to know her better. yucky at first and the thought of us being in close proximity even irks me. but i figure, perhaps this time, i can show my love to her. nevermind if she doesn't return it, nevermind if she thinks negative something of me. the most i could do is perhaps to show my love to her. tough. very very ultra super tough challenge considering i just went into some ok-since-you-don't-say-hi-i'll-ignore-you phase just recently (ok, i'm childish). but yes, i'll have to keep on reminding myself about matthew 5:43-48. argh! very very apprehensive about everything that's about to happen! scared of how i'll react to things. whether i'll just draw back, recoil, or go out there to make her feel welcome or perhaps even make her feel so unwelcome and out! argh well. must be super mindful and watchful of my actions then and pray pray pray. and from this entire few hours just fussing about her and immediately after making a resolution that i'll love her, that i'll love my enemy and just committing my fears and anxiety along with the meeting to God, i felt something else. i felt the peace of God. the peace that surpasses all understanding. the peace that God will see me through the meeting and that he is working his plan out and that all i should do is to obey his word and he'll do the rest. it's such a lovely feeling. my heart which felt so burdened and so so heavy just a few hours ago, now feels so so so so light. it feels like someone just sayang-ing you and telling you that everything is going to be okay and the bad dreams will never come again. i don't know how best to describe the feeling. but it definitely feels much better than even losing 10KG. trust me. perhaps that's why it is the peace that surpasses all understanding.Saturday, December 27, 2003 12:19 p.m.
i baked yesterday. and it was a total failure. haha. went over for a picnic at dan's house. met yado, chang and dan to buy ingredients and aye we were like arguing on what kind of sugar and whether we should use instant mix or start from scratch. justin khoo came along and then we voted and it was 3-2 so we baked from scratch! haha. it was horrid horrid horrid. yado chia made more of a mess than anything else! and he wants to try lemon merguine pie? fat hope! thank goodness for lifeng. she helped out alot. and then after much arguments and mess, we finally got the cake into the oven. somehow when i was looking in the oven, the cake was rising nicely and everything so i was so pleased! then we took it out! omg omg omg. it was horrid. it tasted like plastic. and justin added banana essence into the chocolate fudge cake so it was like banana flavoured chocolate coloured cake. even the rich fudge couldn't cover the plasticly taste. this time, everyone wasn't that polite! hahaha. i'm never going to bake again! and everytime i wanted to use my baking glove, danpek's maid would just use some cloth. haha. i'm going to move on to greener pastures. haha cooking! :) i'm going to cook!!! yay! went for cell. which was good! managed to talk abit to danpek while walking there but i think if this girl's cell split up, i'll miss the fellowships, the sharings. i mean what deanne shared yesterday was something i could relate to and what yoon nee shared about siblings too. ah. i'll miss lydia's mothering when she's gone. aye. i don't know. but yeah. melvin drove us back home and then watched the manchester united vs everton match with daddy! 3-2! yay! manu won! so it's going to be on the top of the table again! :) haha. well, double bonus because i managed to spent some time with daddy talking about soccer and other stuff :) got to go for lunch now. going out for tea with daddy later. i guess we need to spend some time with each other before school starts! :)Saturday, December 27, 2003 11:33 a.m.
"Honour your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you" -- Deuteronomy 5:16 This is the fifth commandment given by God and it is also the first commandment that is written along with a promise/reward. But, it is the commandment that many of us find hard to obey. and i searched dictionary.com for what it means to honour and in summary it is to respect. respect your mother and father. something i've been learning. i haven't been the best daughter. i haven't been always respecting my parents. i have been rude. i've always been trying to insist on my way. but when i'm rude to my parents, when i don't obey their authority, i not only hurt them deeply, i hurt my father in heaven deeply. in 2004, i think it's one of my resolutions to learn how to honour my parents. to respect them. to love them not because they buy nice things for me but to love them because of who they are. because God gave them as parents to me. it doesn't matter whether my father is balding or my mother is putting on pounds in weeks. It is written in the bible that the most important commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this : "love your neighbour as yoursef" and there is no greater commandment than this. and i think it also means to love your father and mother. and remember one day, they will be gone. and no matter how much at times, i dislike their style of thinking and the way they go about doing things and embarrassing me in front my friends, i will miss them when they are gone. so honour your parents, treasure them and love them. they love you so much. your parents have been given to you by God. honour them because if you do love God, you'll want to obey his commandments. and one of them is to honour your earthly parents. treasure your parents because if you actually sit down and think of what your parents have done for you, it's alot. and sometimes, it's true that your friends might backstab you, might go against you and might leave you but your parents will never ever leave you. they love us all dearly. just that perhaps they don't know how to express their love properly :) thank you lord for my mother and my father. forgive me for at times not honouring them. forgive me for i've sinned. lord, teach me how how to love them, to honour them just as you have instructed us to. amen.Friday, December 26, 2003 01:10 p.m.
haha i just remembered what we did on tuesday night!! quite a number of them went out to meet jess but i didn't so yeah and then they decided to come over for bak kuh teh and so yaozhang picked me up from home along with danpek, yado and justineng. it was this major mistake to take yz's car. haha. when i got down, they were already there waiting and then yz didn't know how to unlock the BMW :) haha. so they started playing and pretending they were on some stealth car so i couldn't see them and all. it was crazy. finally got on our way and then yz couldn't parallel park! argh! yz went on the wrong lane and the guys were like it's okay it's okay, we're on stealth mode and whatever! haha we spent like 15mins trying to park the car? and then the BMW 7-series is such that when you're close to hitting another car when parking, it'll make some sort of "beep beep" noise and the guys were like oh dear oh dear, our enemies are near and whatever! omg. i could have died in the car. and we all had to go out quickly because we didn't want to give out our position. can you believe it? haha. had bak kuh teh and talked for a while. saw jess :) then we decided to head over to the airport for desserts! haha. so yado, danpek, yz and myself got into yz's car while jess drove claire and justineng home while deanne,chang and sarah followed her! haha. halfway we decided to go over to yado's house to play catching (briskwalking style) and we got there earlier than jess's group so we all started playing again. you know those stupid missions? yeah. we switched off the lights and aircon (because we're supposed to be in stealth mode so we won't be caught by the enemies) and we started playing with the 'monitor' in the BMW. haha this monitor helps to guide when you're lost and all. i think it's GPRS enabled so yado,dan and yz were like 'okay, let's zoom in on my enemy's terrority.' haha. so stupid okay! and the only map was that of the entire singapore and braddell road! haha. so started zooming in and zooming out targetting enemy's position. argh! and then they came! haha. we saw chang walking back to his house so we all ducked! then i think after a while, they all started looking for us and we continue ducking and when they finally found us, we screamed and drove off! hahaha. then they started walking and following us and when we turned the car around and drive back to yado's house, they started flashing the lights and all. super super dumb. finally jess's group gave up playing with us and yz was like yay! mission accomplished! we defeated the enemies! haha. i felt so stupid!!! it's like the journey from my place to yado's takes slightly less than 10 mins but we probably took like 30mins?! argh! yeah. haha then we crept up on jess's group who were waiting at the swings. i felt so stupid crawling and kneeling on the floor okay! it was like some real mission! argh! yeah. then talked a while longer at some covered up drain before heading home! haha. oh and chang moved some potted plant like 1 inch left because he claimed that there'll be stronger winds! haha. it's was absolutely crazy but super fun! :) yay. and there's this informal picnic at dan's house later before cell. meeting yado, dan and chang first to get ingredients to bake! haha. we're going to bake!! and i can use my new baking gloves! i hope we don't mess it up! dee gave this delicious chocolate fudge cake recipe :) so probably going to try. yay!Friday, December 26, 2003 12:19 p.m.
merry christmas!!!many thanks to everybody who sent/gave/e-sent christmas cards to me and many many thanks to those who gave me presents! thank you! :) so many things happened and i don't know where to start! haha. yesterday, christmas day, went to church for christmas service then shineforth where the carollers were carolling. they were good! :) and then after that it was this mad rush period. everybody was hugging everybody, everybody was screaming, everybody was exchanging gifts and presents!! i got one oven glove from danpek because he said i like baking! and yado chia gave me the pink handbag from australia! yay! and because i was originally carrying my red handbag but jordon and david said the pink was nicer so i swopped and yado took my red handbag! haha. he put his wallet and phone inside and carried it around! everybody was giving him weird stares but he looks good with my red bag because it matched his shirt! haha. i thnk he loved it so much he even took it home with him. went down to raffles city at some crepe place for lunch before heading home. in the night went out for christmas dinner with the family. christmas eve
another mad rush period. woke up late from the night out and had to rush to bake cookies! (thanks sarah walker!!) and then went out to get christmas presents. everywhere was crowded. managed to squeeze in tea time with ron and then there was this christmas party at my aunt's place! met up with almost all my cousins! the younger ones are all so cute! and my youngest cousin can walk now hah. but pity only one of my cousin from the states managed to come back on time. aunty selena came back from the UK too so it was good catching up! we had extremely good food. turkey, lamb, honeybaked ham, pumpkin soup, garden salad, noodles, curry and wine. haha then it was this major opening presents time! the parents were busy giving them out and we were just ripping them apart. it got so bad that we ended walking over those wrapping papers! :) haha. fun fun fun. got borders gift cards, tops, slippers, books and all :) yes. it was an extremely good christmas. lots of fun and fellowship. and whats more i thought pastor malcom's message was good yesterday! referring to 3 passages and how God right from the begining gave us a promise of a child who will be the champion of mankind. and how isaiah reminded us again and in matthew, the child was born! interesting way. and pastor said like God's never late, he's always on time. and it reminded me of how, God has a plan for us and how in his own time, he'll reveal to us and we must be patient and really, how our individual plans must fit into his master plan :) because God already has a master plan and all the plans for us! good christmas message! now. i've got to start cooling down and getting ready for school. mommy is getting paranoid and she thinks i won't be able to wake up for school. bleah. before i conquer that, i have holiday homework!! argh.
Tuesday, December 23, 2003 05:21 p.m.
argh. trunk load of problems. family. studies. people. feelings. discipline. christian walk. but i just don't know how to start sharing. who to pour everything out to. you know the many fears that you face when you want to share? whether you're being sensitive enough, whether that person listening might just turn around and start telling your secrets or even judge and see you in a different light just because you were being honest? argh. can't write too much personal stuff on this blog too because there are a few secret people who read this. argh argh. yes, i mean besides talking to God.(considering i spend almost half of my waking hours talking to him and trying to hear what he has to say and meditating.) i think i'll want to see some counsellor. i think i need one anyway. it's already crazy during the holidays and what's more when school starts next year? additional problems. darn this horrid foul feeling. yuks. and it doesn't really help that i'm stuck hanging dangerously in the air because there's simply no movement. great.Tuesday, December 23, 2003 03:43 p.m.
welcome back yaozhang and jess!!! :) i'm glad jess's back! managed to talk to her for a while just now and i think we really have alot to update each other. haha. but i don't know if i'm really glad that yaozhang's back! haha. he made me look like some fool!! arghhh! last night, met yado and chang for supper at newton. it was so funny! haha it was supposed to be some secret supper party and then yaozhang came along. while eating, we met selena and her father and soh liling and her father too. haha so not so secret anymore. but anyway, we ate and then we decided to go pick jess from the airport! now, this is when i start looking like a fool! haha. we started walking to yz's car and we walked from the hawker centre all the way to the other end of the carpark. and then we made a U-TURN! after walking a while longer, i was like 'yz, where excatly is the car?' because we were just walking back the same route we came from! haha. yado told me to relax so i played along and then we walked back to the hawker centre before walking all the way back to the other end of the carpark again!!! (so much for relaxing) haha. i wanted to be smart so i was like , yz where are your keys? so that i could press the alarm button and we'll know where the car is! but his keys didn't have that button! haha. so we walked and we walked. the 3 of them even tried telling me that yz's car was the huge mercedes bus! haha. finally they stopped playing and we got to yz's car. we passed the car like 3 times okay! haha i think those people at the carpark must have thought we were crazy! haha. well. the consolation was that yz was driving the new BMW 7-series! really really nice and classy :) yeah so anyway we got on our way to the airport and i thought nothing else was going to happen! haha. then when we got to the airport, yz made another U-TURN! haha. and so we started heading back to the city. great. drove all the way to marina bay and drove and drove and drove and drove somemore (along with some U-turns) till we passed fullerton, orchard. and finally they sent me home! hahah. that was not the end okay. when they got to my street, yz missed my house and so he went out again to the main road and he drove till he found a U-turn. after making that u-turn, they realized that there was bak kuh teh and so they made another U-turn to make another u-turn to get to the store. hahah. after all that, we didn't eat the bak kuh teh and yz drove further down till he got to the correct u-turn to get to my street! hahah. i tell you. it was absolutely silly. the bak kuh teh guy must be like "eh, how many times have i seen this car?" hahaha. i was super exasperated yet i was laughing myself silly!! haha. i still can't believe yz's back since he was not supposed to be back this christmas. i still can't believe that he took me on this super super long car ride and made me look like a complete lost fool! haha. but i believed he played this going round in circles trick on yado and chang so many times already that they just knew it was just another one of his many tricks so they weren't as exasperated as me! haha. so so so so unbelievable!!Sunday, December 21, 2003 09:56 p.m.
today :- church! - an hour drowning in some stupid matter and realizing that perhaps i was disappointed again and my hopes were semi-dashed? super confused. again realized God in his own timing will reveal his plan to me and that he knows what's best for me. comforting and a great and timely reminder. are you confused too? or you don't see what i thought i saw? hah. - meeting with the birds. would you like to see the flamingos, the penguins or the parrots? argh. - facial. took away all that stupid clogged up pimples and realized i've been scarred for life and that my face condition is so so bad. to fully understand the extent of it, this is what the lady said to me. "all those baby pimples and bacteria are having a party underneath your skin! and i need to squeeze them out so that you'll be on the road to recovery." excellent. squirmed and screamed on the bed and some little boy crowd at the door to hear the commotion. i'm not walking on anybody's right. - followed mommy to cold storage to get oranges and we bought a fan. lastly. i missed carolling. i missed carolling.
enough said of today. i want to sleep now. ayee.
Friday, December 19, 2003 11:57 p.m.
Every woman's battleby : Shannon Ethridge Your sexual needs are far different from your man's. And they may be dangerous.
When does an affair begin? Not with the first forbidden touch but with the first forbidden thought. Unexpectedly, you find yourself enjoying a powerful emotional bond with another man. you feel like you matter to someone again. And the door you thought was locked so firmly - the door to sexual infidelity - is suddenly ajar The only way you as a woman can survive the intense struggle for sexual integrity is by guarding not just your body, but your mind and heart as well. It helps women like you - whether married, engaged, or planning to marry someday - to :
1) understand the 4 unique components of female sexuality.
2) discern the common myths that keep women standing in the line of fire
3) design a new defense to protect every aspect of your life
4) cultivate an unimaginable level of intimacy with your husband or husband-to-be
5) develop an affair with the one and only lover who will truly satisfy your innermost desires : jesus christ yeah. Lydia lent it to me today and i'm the first to borrow! that's because lifeng and zhimei both still have outstanding loans. haha but anyway, she said it'll help us girls alot because it's not good for us to get emotionally attached to someone and if we don't watch out and we carry these emotional baggage into our marriage next time, we might lose some valuable friendships and conflicts might arise. at first we girls thought we'll be too young to read this book but lydia said it's good to know the things that women struggle with and be provided with practical and theologically(?) sound advice. yay! it's going to be interesting!
Friday, December 19, 2003 11:52 p.m.
1) core friends2) intimate friends
3) acquaintances
Friday, December 19, 2003 11:28 p.m.
i baked today. the rocks buns turned out really rocky. the first batch was burnt and amanda said they tasted like digestives. other than that, i couldn't smell the smell that rocks buns should emit. instead, it emitted some sort of a burnt smell. great. even the raisins were burnt. my butter cake - total failure. well, the cake was supposed to rise but it didn't and so it was all deformed and the top was too crispy? and so the butter cake turned to butter biscuits. and i definitely did add in bicarbonate soda and i used self raising flour! and so, thanks to everyone at cell who tried them and for being so kind with your comments. haha. i hope everything turns out fine. i'm going to try again! baking's fun. i just hate the cleaning up.Friday, December 19, 2003 12:52 a.m.
i can't find my geography resource package!! yay! that means i probably won'tThursday, December 18, 2003 11:55 p.m.
i spent my day with my 2 favourite idiots, alex and ron. and what did we do? ate at din tai fung before moving on to baker's inn for the best desserts. din tai fung has absolutely the best dumplings in singapore. the best! it melts in your mouth and it's so so delicious. i can't believe that such wonderfuulll dumplings actually exists! :) played uno at baker's inn. i don't know how we got those uno cards but yes, we are childish people. and then my hair was heavily critized. at first alex said my ponytail(whatever there is) looks like some stick man. then ron said it looked like a mini version of a witch broom! thanks ah. haha. got my christmas presents from ron and his mommy along with VANESSA'S PRESENT and an ultra long letter! thank you vanny! i wasn't expecting any! thank you thank you! i will call you soon! and i'll definitely remember the time difference! haha :) ron's mommy gave mommy some fruit cake from harrods and she got alex and myself tons and tons and tons of christmas goodies from marks and spencers and harrods! and alex passed me my christmas present too since he's leaving on sunday for bangkok and will only be back on wednesday. so, thank you aunty! thank you alex, thank you ronald and thank you vann! :) i can't wait to open them on christmas day!Thursday, December 18, 2003 12:56 a.m.
one message recieved.and there you have it. so much for the pep talk i gave myself.
Tuesday, December 16, 2003 01:37 p.m.
i get woken up by silly thoughts and then i start doing those silly things. i think i'm getting really silly and i'll write about my silly tales in a while. yikes. i don't dare think of what's going to happen over the next few days. i'm so scared. i don't even think i know what i want. okay, maybe i do. i just don't want to be disappointed but i think i will be disappointed. ayee! so confusing!! i don't know! i don't like this at all.Sunday, December 14, 2003 09:37 p.m.
yay!! saddam's finally caught!! :) nehnehnibooboo. haha. watched CNN and BCC and everyone's rejoicing! hopefully there'll be less terrorist attacks now and the would-be terrorists would realize that their sins will catch up with them! :)Sunday, December 14, 2003 06:14 p.m.
in thanksgiving. after many sharings - friday's cell, saturday's camp debrief and cell at michelle's house and today's thanksgiving during sunday school - i realized that i really have a lot to be thankful for. absolutely alot. God has provided for me over and over again, i didn't have a lot but he ensured i had sufficient. and throughout the course of the year, i have learnt more about him and he had slowly in his time, revealed himself to me and though i have sinned day after day, he never failed to exercise grace. now really, you know why i have so much to be thankful.firstly, cjc. well, it wasn't the school i hoped for but God provided by giving me a place even though it was my 5th choice. at that point, i didn't understand why i had to come here or why i should come here (yes, that was how arrogant i was) and i didn't see how i could fit in but God guided, God helped, God had a plan for me. and really, now i see part of it unfolding. imagine if i had gone on to another college, i'll waste so much time travelling and i probably won't be able to do geog,econs,math because most other colleges require arts students to do literature. and besides all that, i made friends even though i didn't expect to. friends who've given me fun and advice and so much more! and i've learnt alot. i feel as if i've kind of moved out from my sheltered life back at scgs and see for myself how the world relates and reacts and how the world isn't just all about shopping and whatever. i've experienced what it's like to move out of my comfort zone, to make friends with people outside the mgs,rgs,acs,ri circles. to understand that people have different needs and how to offer help to others. honestly, coming to cjc has changed my perspective in alot of things, humbled me a greal deal and opened my eyes to alot alot of things. and the family. i learnt so much more about my family this year. my mother and sarah especially. i saw and understood the needs of sarah. the needs of love, understanding, patience, guidance. and my mother. at the begining, i got upset when daddy told mommy to stop working and to stay at home to take care of us. i wondered if we could still have our thrice yearly family holidays, whether the weekly shopping trips would turn to half yearly shopping trips, whether we could still eat out as often but again, God silenced those doubts. He provided for the family like never before and gave us more than we could hope for. plus i always felt that a parent at home would somehow be disruptive and rather inconvenient. but because of that, i saw a side of my mother i've never seen. this year, i saw my mother crying and praying so hard for the family. i understood my mother a bit more and i shared her sorrows when she felt so useless just staying at home while her friends were busy working. i've seen how my mother makes it a point to watch the maid and make sure she doesn't add in too much salt and we'll have a nutritious meal. most importantly, i saw how much my mother loves God and how much she craves to know him more by attending morning bible studies and just meditating and reading the word every morning. how much she loves God so much she wakes up early to do her quiet time. how much determination she has and really, that craving for more of God has been rubbed down to me somehow. and for all this, i have so much to be thankful for. and also with my mother at home, she helped to see me through this stressful year. never failing to dispense advice and verses from the bible to encourage me and never failing to watch out for me and to make sure i have a good lunch when i return from school and definitely holding me in her prayers every day. and besides school and family, there's church. the returning to sunday school which allowed me to interact with other people. the camp which again allowed me to know more people and the chance to serve and lead. i gotten to know a few mentors like joey, lydia, daniel better (who again, never failed to watch out for me, to encourage and to guide me). and then there's cell where i had the opportunity to establish closer relations with a few others who have given me such good advice and helped clear some doubts and they themselves raised questions which made me question also. all this activities helped me to really draw closer to God and an opportunity to know him more. bsf was another blessing. getting a place in there already was a blessing. it sparked my interest in the old testament and taught me alot about God's and his attributes. and then camp, where i've learnt to act in faith and to trust in the Lord. where i learn about humility. it's hard but i'm slowly learning each day how to commit everything to God and to just simply trust him. pre-camp and camp itself, i've seen how God had provided by giving us a campsite, dorms to sleep in instead of those stuffy A-huts. and besides all those, the huge number of campers that turned up this year again silencing my doubts of us running into some huge deficit. and so. there, i have so much to be thankful for. all those small events, the grades, the friends and everything! even the fact that i'm still living and breathing right now is something i have to be thankful for. i never thought i could make it past the stressful year one. i don't know how many times i have to say but God is indeed gracious. He provided for me over and over again and in conclusion, he really really is a good God. my prayer for myself now is that i'll draw closer to the Lord, i'll know him in an even more personal way. that i won't let pride and arrogance get in my way of knowing him and that i will put all my trust in him and that if there are opportunities for me to serve, i'll stand up. that i would obey his commands and if i've sin, i'll realize my mistake and repent and lastly, that i'll have the discipline to wake up early each morning to have a few precious moments with him and that this fire that is burning for him right now will not die in 6 months time.
Friday, December 12, 2003 11:55 p.m.
yay! went shopping today! finally! got my jeans and a top from mango and some other smaller items while mommy got this new wok from robinsons and we got a whole lot of christmas goodies from marks and spencers! ah. the whole orchard road is having a sale i think. everywhere you go, there's always a sale! but it's just super super crowded. anyway. went for cell! and i really like the idea of cell splitting up into a few more groups and then we can have a week of bible study and another week of sharing/fellowship/prayer! i'm all for that! i really really think we need solid bible study. and for many of us, we want to grow deeper in the faith and sometimes sunday school time just isn't enough to study indepth! and this bible study/cell will indeed open yet another avenue for learning! :) oh and i was thinking that i am going to move out of the youth bsf after may, it'll be quite a while before i have a weekly bible study again since the young adults bsf only start in feb 2005 and so this bible study cell sounds really welcoming. oh and another thing. just now, i was talking to lifeng about mcyc/ci and all and i was quite frustrated about it but then i realized. this entire matter isn't all that bleak and black! God somehow provided again and he answered my prayer! yay! :) but aiyah. i also encountered some very strange and unfriendly behavior today. aye. right now i feel rather uncomfortable expressing my views/ideas(?) because i've seen how they reacted to a few other similar views. aye. i don't know. i don't even think i'm making sense but i just can't seem to best write about this. but yes, i'm not judging and besides it's not for me to judge. just stating the point that i feel rather uncomfortable. aye. i don't know. i don't know. ayeee. oooh and lydia is reading some book called 'a woman's battle' and it sounds so interesting!! i want to read it! she says it's theologically sound and it's easy to read and it applies to real life! ah. i don't know how to summarize what she said about the book so far but i want to read it and see what the author has to say! i shall ask mommy to bring me down to crest bookstore to find it! :)Thursday, December 11, 2003 11:37 p.m.
period of compulsory stagnantation = goodlots of time to think and pray but it's getting me all jiggery and nervous just thinking about the possible outcomes. i hope it'll be some happy ending and i sure better know what i'm stepping into! and NO! it's not what you're thinking about because i've told no one about it! argh. i'm scared. i'm scared. i'm just a scarely cat.
Wednesday, December 10, 2003 11:46 p.m.
i'm struggling but i'm learning. 6days after making a covenant with the lord, it was finally brought to my realization on what relying on god totally is and what it means to trust in the Lord and his plans for you. too many thoughts swimming in my head right now. will share it during cell or some other time instead.Tuesday, December 9, 2003 11:22 p.m.
suzyy! this is for you!!! :) i just read your blogg!yay!! hip hip horray!! :) i am so so so so proud of you. now that you passed, i want you to stay in singapore! i want you to do the A levels with me! and then we can go to either UCLA or NYU together! beg your parents to let you stay okay! i'm seriously so happy for you and i'm so glad all those last minute mugging helped! and yes, you owe me and terence alot alot of stuff! haha but please do not come back with another black nail harderner! one's good enough! :) for starters, i could settle for some pig's organ soup and a good drink! the rest, we'll settle when you come back! so yes, come back quick okay! we have to go to muddy murphy's and then take lots of pictures with our new cameras and have all the fun we can have before school starts! :) i miss you so much!!! and i love you! you make me so happy and so proud! you're definitely an extremely capable girl! congratulations woman!!
Tuesday, December 9, 2003 11:09 p.m.
many many pimples and still counting. damn.Tuesday, December 9, 2003 10:53 p.m.
congratulations to suzy, sarah, terence and eebing on passing your supps!!yay. everyone's here to stay again! :) so happy.
Tuesday, December 9, 2003 02:19 p.m.
Happy sweet 16 Kenneth Chin!! :)i hope you enjoy your party later! thank you so much for being so enthusiastic and encouraging during camp and for bringing much life into the group! :) keep growing in the Lord! anyway, isn't it absurd how if how like someone tells you 99 good things and 1 bad thing about a particular someone, you'll most probably end up remembering that one bad thing. besides that, i don't know how this short period of time is supposed to change anything. i'm afraid that things will swerve so badly but yet again, i can't wait to see what will happen next. right now, i think that everything is not going smoothly. i've no idea what's going on the other camp. don't excatly feel my best somehow. so scared. so scared. i'm just going to wait and hopefully everything will iron themselves out. i don't want to think about it anymore. going out soon to meet terence and chow wee! it's chow wee's last day as a free man before he enters into the tortures of tekong :) Good bye chow wee! thanks for always being so fun and retarded! i hope you won't suffer at tekong and you'll have a nice bed, nice showers and good food! take care! the west side will miss one cool person! :)
Tuesday, December 9, 2003 01:33 p.m.
yay! i got my canon digital ixus i camera! daddy gave me a huge huge surprise when he bought it last night! and i totally didn't even know about it! yay. thank you daddy! it's really slim and light. it's even smaller than my mobile. yay yay. so happy :)Monday, December 8, 2003 01:43 p.m.
i wonder if i die today and i meet God, would God say 'well done my good and faithful servant' or would he say something like 'i tell you truth, i do not know you'. thanks zhimei and johannes for your letters yesterday and the rest of the people that dropped me notes during camp :) and thanks for the chocolates and sweets and insect repellant even :) anyway. had the picnic at danpek's house yesterday. it was supposed to be by the poolside but somehow, we ended up at danpek's house and i didn't know that so many people from camp would turn up! :) haha. extremely boisterious though it was a wee bit chaotic. oh and i have to mention what bentan did! haha. danpek sent him the msg saying something like there would be a super fun picnic at my house tomorrow. feel free to call along any camper. and bentan, forwarded the excat same msg to his sec1 boys without editing the 'my house' part. haha. that's because bentan doesn't know how to edit smses :) haha. so i think a few boys got confused and almost ended up going over to bentan's house for the super fun picnic :) hahaha. and to think i thought bentan was quite tech-savvy :) yeah. in the night accompanied daniel to the airport to pick up muiling along with danpek, yado and deanne. haha. we were waiting so long for her because her flight was delayed so she only touched down at 1am? so, danpek, yado and myself ended up playing catching (brisk walking style), table soccer (i'm very very good at it! i beat yado in his own game!), pepsi cola 1,2,3 (which i kept on losing because the guys kept on doing somersaults to kill me) and the finger game :) haha. i bet the people at the airport must be thinking that we're mad but then again, it was a total blast playing those games! by the way, Happy birthday chang!! :)Sunday, December 7, 2003 09:55 p.m.
"the topshop style advisor is a personal shopper trained to help you shop the store to its full potential. Available by appointment, she will help you find anything from the ultimate party outfit to the best capsule wardrobe - you'll wonder how you coped without her. You will have access to the VIP fitting room, complimentary refreshments, speed payment service and it's free with no obligation to buy!" yes yes. that's my dream job. but that's also the card that gilly passed it to me. yes yes. maybe i'm going to be the customer after all :) how funn.Saturday, December 6, 2003 10:41 p.m.
let her relive those happy moments again. bring her hopes back up again and make her happy. let her know she still matters. do something. please do.Saturday, December 6, 2003 10:34 p.m.
went for dinner at this no signboard restuarant near the national stadium. celebrated sarah's birthday and it was so crowded. man. i don't understand why they call it no signboard when there really is a signboard just that it says no signboard. you get what i mean? but anyway the food was great :) yummy. anyway. there's a picnic at danpek's house tomorrow! everybody please come along! there'll be lots of snacks to snack on (i hope). yes yes. i'm so proud of danpek. i thought our little picnic would never materialize :) i wasn't expecting it to be held so soon also! haha. i'm feeling so excited now. yay. picnic by the poolside! :)Friday, December 5, 2003 11:20 p.m.
i had the best sleep ever in almost a week! finally a mattress that isn't mouldy and a bed that's not threathening to break. plus nice clean white toilets :) finally. finally. i had enough of mossy toilets full of urine stains and smelling terrible. oh oh! i had to tell you what happened after we got off the bus today at church! it was so funny. i laughed till i got a stomach ache. haha. once most of the campers left, danpek, ryan, selena, justineng and myself started playing with the soccer ball. at first we were just playing monkey. then ryan started to play baseball and hit the soccer ball when danpek threw it. haha. then justineng wanted to play along too and he took an extra exercise mat and hit the ball! but, the ball just fell straight to the ground. so we started laughing because ryan's ball went far ahead. haha. and then all of a sudden, the five of us started picking up those excess exercise mat and ran around hitting each other with it and all!! haha. it was like the 5 of us were chasing each other around, escaping and just hitting the living lights of each other. then it got worst. hahah. someone started holding 2 exercise mats so everyone started having 2 exercise mats each too. we started 'fighting' and trying to snatch away other's exercise mat! haha! it was so hilarious and the 5 of us were laughing non-stop! and when we rest for a while, justineng of all people, just had to take one bottle of water and squirt 1/4 of it on me! haha. so i picked up another bottle and squirt him back. but in the process, danpek got wet too. so the five of us started 'fighting' again with those exercise mats and water. we were like splashing around and the floor was so wet and we were so drenched! haha. oh then everytime we rest for a while, another waterfight would happen again. danpek was sitting down on the bench and from behind, selena and myself just poured water down him! haha poor ryan thought we've stopped playing already so he changed into his dry shirt! but selena and myself squirt him again. haha. so like we practically spent about 45mins running around and splashing about, hitting each other! haha :) and i was smelling of some toilet air fresherner because ryan didn't have enough water with him, so he picked up one bottle of that air fresherner and started spraying it at me and all :) hahah. and all the time, daniel wasn't there. thank goodness. haha we wanted to say something like the roof leaked and we all happened to get wet! haha. super super hilarious! :) it was like getting back at each other time and just releasing all those stress and hardwork inside each of us. haha yeah. then went over to waffletown to join maurice and the rest for lunch. finally did some bowel exercises there! haha. i wanted so badly a clean toilet and i found one! haha. i felt like a butterfly. so free. haha danpek's quote. yado came along and joined us after he was discharged. oh and danpek's nice comfy pillow got dirtied by selena and myself! haha. we were walking over to waffletown and justineng threw it at me, but i was so far away so it dropped on the floor. then i was all drenched and reeking of the lemon toilet fresherner and i hugged it to waffletown. and then selena and myself started hugging each and put the pillow in between the both of us! haha. so funny. we kept on doing that to danpek's pillow. selena also kept stepping on some loose string hanging from danpek's bag. i think he almost tripped. hahah! i really couldn't stop laughingg! :) oh! and we're probably going to go for either a picnic/barbeque at danpek's house or just a plain ole picnic at some park soon. we've got to eat up all those packets of junk food that we got! haha. yay! what a pity that camp's over though. don't feel like doing anything now except to sleep.Friday, December 5, 2003 05:11 p.m.
oh yes! many apologies to terence and chow wee who cycled to camp and tried calling me so many times but i didn't pick up! i'm so sorry! but i lent my phone to yado so that he could have some form of alarm clock to wake him up in the morning for his runs!! sorry sorry sorry! :)Friday, December 5, 2003 04:53 p.m.
so many things happened at camp! i don't know where to start! but camp was super super fun in every sense and whoever missed it, missed out on alot! :) i'll start with sunday! had pre-camp then which was a bit chaotic because we were trying to rush the admin plus the t-shirts but other than that it was okay :) monday came along and yes! we had water games! haha. it was so funny. there was this particular game where we had to run for a distance and slide on this ground sheet that's splashed with detergent and knock down the pins. i was sooo scared but ryan, clarence and everybody didn't let me off so i had to do it. and i rolled along instead of sliding! haha. lala and myself actually wanted to like wiggle down the groundsheet but we weren't allowed! there were some other funny moments like people just pulling the grounsheet along with them and all those other stuff! of course a strike came from kenneth chin! :) haha my group member! yes, all those sadistic games comm people! haha. but i had lots of fun laughing at people and playing it although it was rather embarrassing! day 2 of camp and we had the amazing race. yes the extremly tiring amazing race! the highlight of it all was that i went into the mudpool! i plunged into the mudpool! haha. yes dear old sarimbun's mudpool. and no, i'm not going to whine about it! it was sooo fun! i wanted to do it again but then there wasn't really enough time but i was like swimming in there! haha. oh and got pushed back into the mudpool after taking some photo with yado by yado. but i don't know why he fell in also! oh and dean was trying to scare me with rubbish like there's a snake in the mudpool and all! and yes! i definitely won't mind sliding down into the mudpool again! almost like some fantasy island thing except it's dirtier and all! haha. the challenge valley was also super super fun! i was trying so hard to swing from the tyre to tyre and now i got so many blueblacks but it was fun! the stations were also interesting. like we had to learn how to fold origami cranes from someone in the group without any talking and other stupid things like tying rubberbands to form some skipping rope! :) i enjoyed it so much! :) day 3 was alot of group time which was equally interesting! haha. planned a really funny skit for campfire night! oh and i have to mention something. those not serious camp talks were always about shitting. haha! somehow like whenever danpek, ryan and myself come together, we'll always ask each other if we've done our business and all those rubbish talk about pang sai-ing. haha. the three of us were trying to perservere until today to release everything inside us! haha. i won in the end but yeah. some meal times were so laughable because the three of us would have fruit eating contests to make sure we get fruits to prevent constipation :) haha. the first fruit eating competition, ryan and myself raced eating honey dews and he won by alot! by the time his mouth was cleared, i just took the last bite or something like that. but the second time, danpek joined in and haha we raced eating the bananas! :) i won i won! haha but it's like i wasted a few bananas because we would start talking before our race and then i'll fling my banana at them while talking/laughing and it'll drop! haha. we had those super huge bananas :)we laughed so hard because our mouths would be so full of those fruits and all and like ryan was saying how totally not lady-like this entire fruit race was :) well, it wasn't that glam of us all stuffing fruits into our mouth and chewing so quickly! the group was fantastic! had justinkhoo and jeremyphua as my councillors :) they can go absolutely crazy and loud at times but i think they were excellent councillors! joseph was my agl and we had like clairetay, amanda, kayelee, josephhuang, kennethchin, yuan jiang and huiling as group members! there were some discussions which were serious but other times, the group can really joke! i love the group! ok. then on the fourth day. we played the game of life. it's this game mimicking life. before the game started, yado and myself decided to form an alliance to earn more money to 'buy' our dinner. then somehow when the game started, the first thing we did was to head to church and get married! haha. it was so comical! danpek was the pastor of that church and we were laughing so so hard! so amusing. and the best part was that we both didn't have any educational qualifications. we just rushed into marriage. haha. and yeah so after that, we went to work. it wasn't really work. all we had to do was to clear the outside of the dorms and earn a few hundred bucks. the rest of the money, yado and myself invested in stocks :) haha the funny part about the marriage part was that, somehow i got pregnant. haha. so i had to spend some time in the hospital and then the next thing we knew, we had triplets! haha. it was so silly! i couldn't stop laughing! so, we played along and i got some secondary school education while yado went to military school because chang and justin were in charge of that station. haha! oh oh! and during the camp, horrible ryan just had to trick me. he like asked me whether i wanted some drinks. but the thing is that we had to buy those drinks for 50 sarimbun dollars. so i was like no way was i going to buy those drinks because i spent quite a bit of money getting married and going to the hospital then ryan became cunning. haha. he decided to offer it to me free! at that time, i didn't realize that ryan was working for the (illegal)gambling den so i thought he was being nice and took it. and just as i took it, he started screaming, 'police police! this lady took those yellow drinks which had drugs!!' so i started chasing ryan around and i put the drink down but i got caught by policeman justin khoo. haha. i was supposed to go to jail but then, yado was nice enough to do the punishment for me! well, after all, he's my husband. haha. their jail sentences were ridiculous! well, in the end, they made yado kneel in front of me and apolgize for don't know what reason! haha. it was super super hilarious! everybody was laughing so hard! haha but yeah. half way through the game, yado got knocked down by a car and he died. the good part was that i inherited all his money! the bad part was that i was a widow. haha. yeah. but apart from all those hoo-hahs playing the game. something bad happened. as we were about to end the game, there was this sudden attack of bees. the bees came surging towards us and a few people got stung by them. yado was one of them. thankfully, the rest weren't allegric to bee stings but yado was. so yeah. he broke out in some sort of rashes and all and had to admitted to hospital and was warded for the night. yeah. but the bee attack was scary. the girls bunk was totally silent and still and all. oh well. at least yado's all okay now. so yes. game of life was really fun. haha. it kinds of remind me of myself wanting to get married early and all :) anyway. had covenant service later in the evening which was so good. it was just like a stone taken out from your life when i surrended everything to the Lord. but besides the games and fun, the theme talks were so apt and just so suitable. had talks on humility (or humbility in yado's words) and about seeking God. somehow we studied about the early days of King Asa and how he sought after the Lord and the Lord prospered him and gave his nation rest amidst turmoil in the neighbouring countries. it was werid actually. because just not long ago at bsf, we were doing this excat same topic :) oh well. surprisingly, none of the theme talks were boring at all. they were just so straight forward! anyhow. today was massive area cleaning and all. finally the bleaches and soap powder that i bought came into good use! haha. came back to church and started having fun again. yeah. that's about the main events of camp. i'm so tired now. i'll write after i wake up about the silly things that happened after we reached church today that made me laughed until i had a stomach ache, the theme talks and whatever stuff i can remember. okk. i really need to sleep now. only slept at 4am last night and woke up at 6.30 this morning. and i've been having so little sleep over the past 6 days because everynight there were camp comm meetings till about half past one and even after camp comm meetings, the main committe had to stay back for a while longer. to top it off, in the morning, the comm heads must wake up 15mins earlier to pray for the day. wah. dead tired. goodnight :)Friday, December 5, 2003 03:19 p.m.
i'm finally back from camp sarimbun! :) camp was super super fun and super super enriching and super super refreshing. just everything packed into one. i'll write all that in another entry. right now, i have to go do my business and go take a long hot shower! :)Saturday, November 29, 2003 10:28 p.m.
i still haven't packed. there's just so many things that needs to be tied up! argh. haha. many many thanks to terence and chow wee. they somewhat 'encouraged' me and told me all the 'good' stuff about sarimbun! :)like the old man and nature at its worst. but thanks terence for the reminder on the sweater! :) maybe i'll see you guys! szu - enjoy taiwan! but i hope we get to meet up first before you leave! take pictures of the taipei 101 or whatever ok? and tell me all about it! :) here i come sarimbun :) camp's going to be so funn!! yaySaturday, November 29, 2003 08:57 p.m.
just recieved a letter saying i've gotten some edusave merit bursary. but i think the criteria is that the gross family income must be less than $3000 on top of the exam results. wahh. i've no idea what this award is but i guess i won't get the extra cash to buy my camera. so unfair. where's the motivation then? i still want my canon ixus 4.0 :)Saturday, November 29, 2003 08:42 p.m.
happy birthday sarah walker!paul walker's cousin! when are we going shoppingg? :) haha. i love you! you're finally 17th! :) spent almost the entire day in church printing and doing stuff. and i think any other camp groups that see us at sarimbun will think barker road methodist church youths are super super kiasu. haha. we've got 400, 1.5L of waterbottles. all filled with water plus so many cleaning agents :)not to mention tons and tons of crackers. haha went out to celebrate sarahwong's upcoming birthday at some fish restaurant. haha. i haven't bought a present! i haven't even thought of one. oh well. argh! i haven't even packed my stuff yet! yet alone come up with the rosters. okay. bye.
Saturday, November 29, 2003 01:07 a.m.
i just realized i didn't plan on how to terminate the lizards from sarimbun. i planned the termination of mosquitos and smelly toilets but not the lizards! how could i forget it!? i forsee tons and tons of lizards. arghhh. what if i'm showering and a lizard drops? or what if i pee in the middle of the night and look up to see a lizard staring at me?Saturday, November 29, 2003 12:55 a.m.
i stepped on a lizard just now. i think it fell from the ceiling and it happened to drop at my feet and just as i was about to run away it ran under my feet. something like that. so yucky. i feel so sick now. the lucky lizard didn't die but the thought of it under my toes just disgusts me. yucky yuck yuck.Thursday, November 27, 2003 02:39 p.m.
kiss - because i'm a girl.click on the above link to get the korean mtv. it's super sweet :)must watch! got it from melvin's blog. thanks melvin! :) Kiss - Because I'm a Girl ~ Lyrics and Translation Dodeche ar suga obso namjadurui maum wonhar ten onjego da juni ije tonande ironjog choumirago nonun thugbyorhadanun gu marur midosso negen hengbogiosso I just cant understand the hearts of men. they tell you they want you and then they leave you. this is the first time, you're special. I believed those words and I was so happy. marur haji guresso nega shirhojyoda go nunchiga obnun nan nur bochegiman hesso norur yoghamyonsodo manhi guriurgoya sarangi jonbuin nanun yojainika you should have told me you didn't like me any more, but I couldn't see that and you just rushed me. although I will curse you I'll still miss you. since I am a girl, to whom love is everything. modungor swibge da jumyon gumbang shirhjungnenunge namjara durosso thollin mar gathjin anha dashinun sogji anhuri maum mogo bojiman todashi sarange munojinunge yoja ya i heard that if you give up things too easily to a man, he will get bored with you. i don't think this is wrong. a girl says that she will never be fooled again but she will fall in love again. marur haji guresso nega shirhojyodago nunchiga obnun nan nur boche giman hesso norur yoghamyonsodo manhi guriurgoya sarangi jonbuin nanun yojainika you should have told me you didn't like me any more. but I couldn't see that and you just rushed me. although I will curse you, I'll still miss you. since I am a girl, to whom love is everything. [narration]
Onur urin heojyosso budi hengbogharago noboda johun sarammannagir barandago nodo darun namjarang togathe nar saranghanda go marhanten onjego sorjighi na nega jar doenungo shirho naboda yepun yoja manna hengboghage jar sarmyon otohge guroda nar jongmar ijoborimyon otohge nan irohge himdunde himduro juggenunde ajigdo nor nomu saranghanunde [narration]
Hey babe, the pain it's not enough to describe how i feel. we were so happy together. but I know now, I've been blind. you told me that you'd never let me down . whenever I needed you you'd always be here. I can forgive but I cant forget. even though you hurt me. I still love you. I still love you. sarangur wihesoramyon modun da har su inun yojaui chaghan bonnungur iyong hajinun marajwo hanyojaro theona sarangbadgo sanunge irohge himdurgo oryourjur mollasso don't take advantage of a girl's willingness to do anything for love, and her caring instinct. i didn't know that to be born as a girl and to be loved was so hard. although i will curse you i'll still miss you. since i am a girl, to whom love is everything. although i will curse you, i'll still miss you. since i am a girl, to whom love is everything. wahh it's super super touching and sweet :)it definitely has the potential to become some hit soapy korean drama. haha
Wednesday, November 26, 2003 08:43 p.m.
sarahwong and claire bought shorts again just now. so super unfair. claire came over to slack around and have dinner and she showed me the shorts! so unfair. so unfair! the two girls are always going off to get nice and cheap stuff! like everytime i see that my sister has something nice, i'll ask her where she got it and then i'll end up there but you know what, i'll never find anything! haha. but the funny part is claire and sarah both have like almost identical wardrobes too! the only difference is probably their choice of colour. haha. argh. so unfair. i still can't get over it! plus both of them get nice earrings. haven't really seen claire's collection yet but sarah's getting nicer and nicer earrings. aye. sarahwong and clairechong, would you two like to bring me shopping someday? :) haha. my apologies claire! for sleeping half the time when you were here! :) about camp. i know i'm abit slow but i'm having joseph as my assistant group leader! and then as counsellors, i'm having justin khoo(this is extreme bad news. haha) and jeremy phua(thank goodness). well at least, 3/4 of my group is sane. haha :) i should start packing my bagg too. claire's told me just now she's packed hers! talk about me being miss kiasu! :) oh yeah. i had had a few people come up to me and ask me if it was necessary to pack everything that's in the 'to-bring' list. yes yes! please pack everything that's there. failure to do so would result in you having quite unpleasant times at camp! i.e. you'll have smelly shoes if you don't bring an extra old pair and you'll have smelly t-shirts if you don't bring enough. you get the idea. haha. enjoy packing people! :)Wednesday, November 26, 2003 06:34 p.m.
happy birthday gilly gurliee!! :)many many happy returns to my little, powerful shopaholic/makeup fanatic/loud hailer! :) may you grow in the lord always! went out with leaaa and we went over to this bristol called creme(cream?) inside pacific plaza for our breakfast/lunch/tea. that place is ideal for catching up! so quiet and they serve quite good food. aye. and we were talking and you know what annoyes me? hypocrites. i'm begining to know more and more hypocrites and it irks me. i don't understand how someone can pretend to be friends with someone just to find out everything about that person and then go and tell everything she's heard to someone else. it's so nasty! i mean like if i really don't like you, i'll probably just try to minimize contact with you! i might bitch about you but i will never ever pretend to be friends with you and then turn around and bitch about you. and another thing that annoys me? people who like say one thing then do another? like in front of you, they say they dislike something or someone but when they are with another group of people, they say something else just to fit in better. argh. i absolutely detest it. anyway. after talking and lunch, alex and ron came to meet us and we bought a few stuff for ron and leaa's trip. haha leaa ended up geting the same tote bag as i did from roxy :) i think we're having quite identical stuff in our wardrobes! haha leaa! please buy back nicer stuff so we can share again! and remember my shopping list okay? :) haha and shopping's not that theraputic anymore. i think it's because of too much browsing online so the shops here don't look that appealing. or maybe age is catching up. no more energy to walk so far. but i know i'm broke. very broke. like after lunch today, i was left with $3.75(the 5cents from the change). aiyoh. but really, there's not enough shops here in singapore! there's like alot selling horrible stuff and then there are many selling a top for like $435? where are the middle and beautiful shopss? i want to send in my comments to the remaking singapore committee. sorry szu and terence for not joining you guys for lunch! another day ok? i prayed for you two and i hope you guys will pass! meanwhile, enjoy the holidays! happy holidays :)
Tuesday, November 25, 2003 11:08 p.m.
happy birthday soon-to-be commando melvin lim! :) spent the day with suzy and terence. was helping them with geog. i think i spoke a wee bit too fast. i hope they absorbed everything. felt a bit useless and i feel so bad now because we stopped studying halfway to go to muddy murphy's to drink beer and play countless rounds of bridge again with chow wee. haha! it's so funny the way we play bridge! like we cheated so much and so so openly!! i wanted like ace of clubs so we started this conversation like i am a clubber and i go to many clubs(i have many club cards) but i need one clubber that lives in a palace(king of clubs)! haha. super funny. then we came up with silly names like hearts equals lovers and diamonds equals women's best friend and to talk about spades openly, we went like i use a spade to build sandcastles and i need one that lives in a palace! haha. and we're like i can't have a lovers or something. super super funny :) and besides the beer. szu, ter and i had pig's organ soup which was so yummy. i really love it now. and then we had cookies at subway and then i needed to use my macdonald's sticker so we ate macdonald's :)feel like a pig now. haha. oh! and melvin coloured his hair red. it's like raging red!quite nice. besides that, he's going to go for commando BMT. how exciting. i feel so proud for no particular reason! haha chow wee's leaving too for army on 10th dec! ter,szu and i are going to send him off. suddenly all this talk about army. haha i'm like so excited. i've never taken the fast craft and i have never been to tekong! haha. i'm going to bring my camera :) i hope we really end up going! haha. and after all that. went to zara to see nicolle for a while. she was just working for a day. then went over to popular to get the camp files! 102 in total! and i lugged it all onto the train! everybody that's going for camp, you better be grateful! haha. the files were really colourful. there's like red, orange, yellow, green, purple, blue, grey, black and white! :) i can't wait to put them all together. and i can't wait for camp. haha i think i want either the purple or orange file :) i'm like so excited. i've actually been trying to find out what the speaker is going to speak. so i gathered a few passages and hopfully he'll go through them. oh yes! terence and chow wee will be having their scout camp at sarimbun too. so i might be able to bump into them. haha:) anyway! all the best to szu, terence and eebing for geog. to sarah for math and to chow wee for the physics Alevels :) i hope you all do well. and i want to see everyone up in 2T09 next year! :) and suzy. no worries. i'll definitely pray for you. please do your best and hopefully you'll remember everything ok? remember that whatever you can remember just dump it all down. you definitely can do it. all the best againn dear.Tuesday, November 25, 2003 12:29 p.m.
it's been raining everyday and i'm so scared we won't have our games and campfire during camp. plus it's going to be so hard to walk from the bunks to the training inst. lord, please hide the rain clouds when we're having the camp and give us good weather. amen all the best to szu, terence, eebing and sarah for the supps tomorrow :)Monday, November 24, 2003 10:49 p.m.
had dinner with mommy just now and i was sort of telling her about camp. then mommy told me a story. and it saddened me. but it made me realize that every family has their own problem. it doesn't mean that because they look okay every sunday means they don't have to struggle financially or whatever. so sad. i wish the world was filled with less pain oh. then mommy also shared about how this girl came up to her and shared with mommy her 3 dark secrets. aye. again, everyone of us has a dark secret. maybe even many dark secrets. i myself have my own dark secret. but you know besdies telling it to God, i wonder if i can tell somebody else that secret. okay maybe someone spiritually mature and able to keep that secret but it makes me wonder if that person would know how to keep a real secret. and all this secrets, if they are so bad, would God still forgive? aye. you know sometimes like when i commit some sin and i realized i was wrong, i ask God for his forgiveness but i don't feel as if i've been forgiven. like there's always guilt and i'll always remember it. aye. sometimes i'm so scared i haven't been forgiven because the sin might be so bad and i wish God would just throw down a sign saying 'forgiven' or something like that. don't know how to best explain it but yeah. i wish the christian faith was sometimes much simpler. anyway! macdonald's finally realized that they have a valuable customer here and so they sent me the sticker voucher. it came today in the mailbox! so happy! it was like last week when i met terence, szu and sarah, terence and szu showed theirs to me and i was like madonald's didn't send it to me! haha so i'm going to eat macs with terence and suzy tomorrow. it's quite interesting the way they present it! like you stick your free burger/dessert sticker along with one of the extra value meals sticker. but now, i'm kind of stuck. i've no idea what i should eat tomorrow! i just want to stick the sticker :) haha.Monday, November 24, 2003 10:32 p.m.
this is not really the pre-camp theme song but i'm glad daniel sang it on sunday. better prepare myself spiritually and especially walk right with the Lord this week. fires of revivalI came into the gathering of the people of the Lord
and found my way among them to this throne
i needed to return unto the altar of my God
to renew again my covenant with him I wanted to discover the first love we once had shared
Rekindling the fire deep within
i found the lamp still flickering in the temple of my Lord
and pour a horn of oil unto the flame And there i built an altar to his name
and realized that my life would never be th same
and then the fires of revival came sweeping through my soul
as i touched the holy presence of my God Come build an altar unto the Lord
return to worship and hear his word
and then the fires of revival will come sweeping through your soul
and we'll touch the holy presence of our God
Monday, November 24, 2003 02:28 p.m.
i've no idea what all this commotion is about regarding students coming out from various secondary schools. haha. but after reading the 2 articles. i just couldn't help but sum it all up. we, scgs girls, are supposed to marry well because we mix with the right crowd. we speak good english and want to be taitais. But we can be boring and if we're not from the right kind of family to begin with, life can be tough. i don't know how true the comment is but haha, i really couldn't believe it. and today they interviewed estelle who was also from my kindergarten and she related the story of how this JC lecturer when he saw us scgs girls at hwa chong, commented that we were slutty because the mintue we went into the junior colleges and there was male company, we took off our blouses. what blouses to begin with! haha. i still remember our secondary school teachers telling us that story :) haha oh well. got to do a few stuff for camp now. this entire week is going to be like so packed. mommy has arranged for me to get my hepA&B jab done this week and she's bringing me to see a skin specialist to try to clear my pimples. it's getting very bad and it seems as if everytime i think the pimples are cleared, more appear. argh. and we've got to help mommy with cleaning the house every now and then. bleah. i can't wait for camp! haha. i have to mention that i bought 3 bottles of bleach, 1 5kg packet of soap powder and 4 brooms to scrub the sarimbun toilets clean. and 50 mosquito coils and 5 packets of air fresherners. haha :)Saturday, November 22, 2003 10:58 p.m.
i realized that the world is like super small. aye. like everybody knows everybody and then news travel around super quickly! and i suppose everyone talks about everybody. haha. went for leader's training today. what did i learnt? attitude. it's the attitude that matters. doesn't matter if you have all the leadership qualities and you can inspire. but if you don't have the attitude, it's useless and everybody can see you don't love what you're doing. and i think it's something that mommy's been trying to drum into me over the holidays. oh oh and england won australia in the rugby world cup! haha. yay. was hoping england will win. and i watched part of the manchester united game. i hope they win somehow. it was 2-1 at 67th min? it's going to be another long day tomorrow and right now i feel like having some nice hot fried prawn noodles and a glass of cold sugar cane juice.Friday, November 21, 2003 11:43 p.m.
'in effect, that the vote continued on the story of my life. never fitting in, never being accepted.'-- rupert (9th survivor to be voted out of survivor pearl islands)
Friday, November 21, 2003 11:14 p.m.
spent half the day with sarah, suzy and terence. was helping suzy with econs while terence and sarah did their own studying. i think i was more worried for szu than she was for herself. it felt as if i was taking the paper. szu! all the best for econs tmr! :)Thursday, November 20, 2003 11:47 p.m.
sing a song of sixpence, a pocket full of ryefour and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie
when the pie was opened, the birds began to sing
wasn't that a dainty dish to set before the king?
the king was in his counting house, counting out his money
the queen was in the parlor, eating bread and honey
the maid was in the garden, hanging out the clothes
along came a black bird and nipped off her nose! started singing that in the car just now and everybody just sang along too. haha couldn't stop laughing. the dinner was great, the company, excellent. i couldn't ask for more :)
Thursday, November 20, 2003 04:12 p.m.
had nasi lemak with leaaa this morning and i just came back from some waffle eating session at gelare with my tuition teacher. her treat since i got a C for math and she was expecting an O. and in less than 3 hours, i'll be heading off for a family dinner along with matthew, his mother and sister at the restaurant in shangri-la called blu. it serves californian cuisine but won't they be tired of it? i should start some food/dining journal.Thursday, November 20, 2003 12:24 p.m.
omg. omg. omg. you know who i met today? MATTHEW!! yes! the long lost matthew lee. he's finally back from the states after leaving in sec2 when his father got a job there! :) ah! i was leaving the house this afternoon to meet alex for lunch when the house phone rang. and i picked it up and it was matthew!! the guy i've known ever since i was born and have attended all his birthday parties from the time he was one year old till he was 14! argh! it was so totally shocking! even my mom was shocked! i didn't even think matthew was ever going to come back! :) and to think he still has my house number after 3 years? omg. haha. alex was also so so shocked when he saw me walking in with matthew. probably as shocked as me! matthew was afterall his best friend in primary 1 and they were classmates for 4 years? haha. it was like first time i saw alex hugging a guy! :) but yeah! i tell you, the feeling's just great. absolutely great. we sat down and we just talked for like 5 hours. catching up on everything that we had missed out over the 3 years. the three of us were like fighting for talking time! ah. thinking about it, i really missed matthew. i don't know why we stopped all communication after like maybe 5 emails? but yeah. goodness. he's definitely grown. probably about the same height as alex but matt's slightly thinner. it's like he lost weight. and he's fairer now. oh and he has this accent. haha. yay! so i guess i'll be seeing more of matthew till he leaves in january! he's back to basically claim PR status for his singapore citizenship and to celebrate his grandparent's 50th wedding anniversay in december. i really still can't believe i met matthew again! haha but i'm so so glad. my childhood friend :) anyway. sarahwong left for camp today. haha! i have the whole house to myself. mommy sleeps half the time, daddy's at work and there's no one to disturb me on the computer! haha :) i can finally do my online shopping/browsing! mommy introduced it to me! she shops for her golf clubs and shirts and certain beauty products online! i have to say! i am also very tempted to shop online! i was just surfing through the websites and i found such lovely tops and splendid jeans! and i'm not kidding. if you think topshop in singapore has nice tops, wait till you check out the UK site online. the tops are 100times nicer! and if you think that guess has alot of jeans, wait till you check it out online! there's too many! now i know why some people just love online shopping! :) i want to shop online too! can you imagine not having to go change up and all and just with a few clicks, you can get such a beautifuuul top? haha. but mommy was going on about how the sizes might not fit. plus i don't have a credit card! it's so exciting! just that there cannot be any trying on of clothes! oh. but the bad side is that, i think the stuff are much more expensive! like 28pounds for a top? that's almost like $80? and that does not include shipping fees. but seriously, it's so pretty! and then when you surf those makeup sites, they are all so beautifully done up! and everything's up to date! plus they even tell you how to match your skin tone? haha. i even went to vera wang's collection. i don't know how come mommy's got the site but i'm definitely going to get a vera wang gown when i get married. but i promised myself i won't touch anymore makeup. mommy and i agreeded we won't get anymore till we use half of our stock. so, the makeup sites are just going to be my eyecandies. but the tops, i'm going to browse somemore or check out if the singapore shops have it! :) so! if anyone doesn't know how to go about shopping online or doesn't like online shopping. please please come to me! i seriously want to be a personal shopper next time. it beats all those 9-5jobs plus i get to do what i like and earn money at the same time! ah! i hope somebody reads my blog and then decides to employ me as their personal shopper. haha. i've got a new hobby :)Wednesday, November 19, 2003 12:44 a.m.
i started out at the begining of the holidays hoping to achieve certain goals and right now, i haven't got anything done. my africa trip. i'm stopping over at saudi arabia. but after those deadly terrorist attacks, mommy's hesitating again. i guess she's really afraid about me stopping over there. plus, it's a long stopover. almost about 4hours. and i'm all alone. aye. and i'll be coming back during the post christmas pre new year period. and she's worried again about terrorists striking during that period. aye. looks like i might never be able to go to africa. community involvment programme. i have difficulty co-ordinating with the centre. because it's the holidays after all. even those under previlleged kids need a break. great. great. great. besides, it's a bit impossible to complete those hours right? exercise programmes. i have not gone for any exercising. i see more fats accumulating. argh. i need to run. and be consistent job job job. i can't find a part time job or rather, i'm not allowed. unless it's something like working as an interim at some law firm or whatever. i wanted to go work with nic at hyatt and be a waitress but my father disallowed. he rather give me more money and get me to sit at home or travel than work. argh. my holiday homework. i was reminded about it recently. i haven't started at any! and yes. there's GP (tons of it) and math papers plus an entire chapter of geog to learn all by my stupid self. thank goodness there's no econs. but econs is my worst subject! frankly speaking, i'm worried about my performance next year. i thought setting my goals to 3Bs during the As were quite good. but no! no! edward, ron and alex even (surprise surprise) are aiming for 7 distinctions! minus chinese of course! yes no kidding! ok fine, alex's aiming for 5 distinctions! but ain't that quite good? what am i aiming for? 3 Bs? ha. maybe that's why NUS seems so far away. besides the holiday homework, i definitely have to get down to revising year 1's work. i have to. no doubt about it. i mean everybody is revising. what exempts me? argh. i'm stressing out again. perhaps for the wrong reasons, but i definitely got to get down to work and cultivate the attitude in me! wish me luck! procrastination is a deadly sin!!Tuesday, November 18, 2003 11:16 p.m.
mommy's operation went well and she' pretty okay now. just a little weak and she's got bruises all over. including scratch like bruises on both her upper arms. i don't know why. but yeah. the scary part is, the doctor will test for cancer cells in the lump! that's what i'm most afraid of. oh well. nonetheless. thank you lord, thank you for watching over my mother and guiding the surgeons today. i put the test results in your hands. thank you. amen.Tuesday, November 18, 2003 02:58 p.m.
yay! i changed my template already! i know the image's rather crude but i still think the entire layout's pretty! prettily sweet! :) comments welcomed!Monday, November 17, 2003 08:32 p.m.
was talking about death at sunday school yesterday and just today, i thought about it again before i took my nap. it freaked me out. the 'incident' that played in my mind was that i had just quarreled with a loved one and we didn't talk. the next day, the person just went off doing his own tasks and the next thing i knew, he was dead. probably got runned over by a car or something and it frightened me. i had this mini-argument with mommy today over waking up late and thus eating lunch late. so we didn't really talk till just now dinner time. and so after that quarrel, i headed to bed and that was where i thought of that incident. and it frightened me because mommy is going for the operation tomorrow. something bad might just happen. i really don't know how i would cope with the loss of a loved one. everyday you read of someone dying on the road. one day, i'll face the death of a loved one. my whole life would probably crumble. i probably wouldn't know how to pick myself up again. argh. i really don't know. it's so scary. death's scary. but the little incident i thought of today taught me a few things. appreciation. i think the number of times i disappointed my mother is probably double the number of times i made her happy. especially over the past 5 years. appreciation for her undying love towards me. like they said, 'you never know the measure of a mother's love until you become a mother yourself.' and another thing. to control my anger. anger management. when i'm seriously pissed off or things don't go my way. i start yelling and i have a tendency to hurl everything out and in the process, hurting someone with my words. i really got to tackle this problem. lord, teach me to love and teach me to control my anger. amen.Monday, November 17, 2003 12:14a.m.
ha. got to write about what we did today. registration for camp started today and i have to say the replies were okay? not too bad for the first day. went to sarimbum after service to check out the place. yay! the girls are going to get the aircon bunks after all. haha. but i wonder if it'll be all stuffy. and i'm getting real scared over games. i heard we're going to slide down into the mudpool! and the mudpool has fishes? imagine swimming with fishes. haha anren. i mean they saying that we'll probably need a pair of clothes that can be thrown away tells alot. but the games comm is being real secretive about their games and all. so. haha. ah well. i think the main body of campers should go sabo the games comm somehow. sarimbum's really mosquity and all. argh. i really wonder what's going to happen when it rains and the place gets all muddy! haha the toilets are the pits. i bet even some army camp in don't know where has better toilets than sarimbum! honestly! haha. so danpek has authorized the setting up of a toiletwashing committe and i'm in charge! now who's going to sign up? haha. i'm definitely going to sign ryan up whether he likes it or not! haha. he distracts me when i'm counting money and ropes in jonwong to play a trick on me. he tells sarahwong that he's going to throw all the girls out of the bunk so that he can sleep there all by himself. haha. well i'm extremely particular about toilets! and so i am excited about cleaning it. imagine sarimbum toilets being clean, no green moss and all freshy smelling. we'll have nice showering experiences! :) really shouldn't whine about it anymore. haha i'm glad we've got a place to put up and i'm sure all of us will survive. right? :) oh and today's sermon. just like what zhimei said about the 666 thing. i listened to some of it before going back to registration and this 73 year old speaker wowed me. like he's seen 9 angels? of which when he was fasting and praying at some island about 5 years back, 5 angels came to him and one of the angel was USA. okay this is if i'm getting the nitty gritty details right but the jeez is there. yeah. so this angel told him that there'll be wars and two skyscrapers will fall(somewhere along that line). which of course referred to the twin towers attack and the following wars against terrorism and the war in iraq. the fact is that there was such a saying made before such things actually happened. i mean like the speaker wrote the book in 1998 and those twin towers collapseed in 2001. so it's not like after that incident, he went to write it. hmm. i want to read that book that the speaker wrote! anyone who has it? yeah. it's really scary. but this are true messages. prophecy. it freaks me out. but okay besides the book of Job being interesting. i think revelations is also exciting. it's about the end of the world. when God will come again. when the dead will be raised. when there will be great tribulation. scary yet exciting. scary that such things are going to happen. exciting and delighted because i'm going to meet my maker. i don't know how to best describe this talked about death today in sunday school. only one thing that stood really strongly. store your treasures up in heaven for the treasures on earth will soon rot away but the treasures in heaven will be forever. there is spiritual death and physical death. ultimately everyone faces the physical death. but how are you going to deal with the spiritual death? seek after God. seek him and ye shall find him. knock and the door shall be opened unto you. i crave for it. crave for the understanding of god's word. crave to seek after him with all my heart and find him. to know god intimately and not just know about god is my ultimate goal. anyway. got to say thanks to jacq and jon's mommy! haha i got Annika's signature. All thanks to her! thanks aunty! haha my first famous person signature. oh well, i got chih bing's signature too but he's not that great. haha. i'm going to play golf properly now. a real pity that annika didn't win the most out of this tiger skins! :) haha. retif's not bad anyway. was laughing my head off when jesper didn't win anything and he said something corny! i think his stripped pants distracted him too much :) haha. yay! :)Sunday, November 16, 2003 10:49 p.m.
after almost a while, i wonder if there is acceptance? i wonder if i leave, will i forge any long lasting friendships? it's so funny like how after a while, it should be a stronger relationship built but yet somehow what i get is one of a straining relationship and i feel as if i'm drifting away from the group. i cannot explain this strange feeling but perhaps again, i'm paranoid. don't say i shouldn't worry about this issue. i should. i must! after all, it concerns my life and it'll make or break me at least in the short run. i wish that i could pry open the minds of people and comprehend and know what they are thinking or what their minds are thinking. almost like intrusion of privacy but it is extremely tempting. i don't know. feeling really upset over this matter. i think i kind of knew about all this drifting away for a while back but i think it's escalating. aye. somehow i feel as if i cannot communicate. i cannot express myself properly. i cannot let them understand. or perhaps to them, i'm just another bimbotic person. another person that can be cast aside and recieving that message was another thing. kind of confirms how i'll never reach there. honestly, i find myself so lacking. so lacking in everything. i can never be good at something. i somehow always fall short of that one point. of that one characteristic. of that one something. never will i be better. well honestly, sometimes i can't help it if i have streaks of competiveness. i was brought up in a rather competitive environment. aye. i'm not asking to be the best but. i shouldn't be running around and further mixing my negative thoughts and all but it's getting to me. it's nearing. is it that hard to find out more? i dont know. i feel so upset. i don't know what does God have to say about this matter. i want to know. understanding will lead to love. understand the person.Saturday, November 15, 2003 11:17p.m.
was watching the tiger skins just now. annika is really good! she gives the guys a good run for their money! and i didn't know that jacq had complimentary tickets to the tiger skins! haha. i think it would be fun to go watch! but the singaporean's kind of a letdown though! his playing is crap. but now it makes me want to pass the PC test badly. haha. and i must mention that jacq's brother is really good at golf! haha. he's champion of many local and international competitions! that's what my mom tells me. and everytime i talk to jon, he's always got like golf training. haha. extremely impressive for a 13year old boy! :) haha anyway. i'm going back to watch the rugby semifinals. my dad's making a lot of noise because he doesn't understand the game so i have to keep on calling ron to tell us more and explain everything. haha :) i didn't know that australia was the defending champion! oh well. it's getting interesting :) i'm going to learn how the game of rugby goes by tonight!Saturday, November 15, 2003 03:17 p.m.
wonderful. my father just got recalled back into the army for no reason. so he's frantically searching for his waterbottle, food cans, helmet and badges because he only has 2 hours. ha. maybe he'll join efrem and melvin overseas! but it's kind of scary to get this kind of recalls. it's like mindef has this automated system where they call your mobile and your house so i've picked up the phone 3 times and listened to the message 3 times! and i think they do that until you've registered. sounds really serious. aye. maybe the terrorists are near? haha i remember when i was really young last time and they had those civil defense talks on where to run during a war, what to do when you hear those sirens and all. and i used to plot and plot about how i would kill those enemies. like i remembered charting the fastest way to the MRT station and i think i even wrote down what to bring along. haha. then as i grew older, i planned on how to kill my enemies. like going all out into the battlefield and all. haha. you see. long ago, what i percieved a battlefield was that there would be men in arrows standing in long long lines, then behind would be men with guns, then men with more guns and then men in horses with guns and then men with tanks! so i plotted that we should put dummies as the men with arrows and we'll fire first. but our dummies can shoot so they'll kill the first few lines of soldiers. then later when the enemies shoot back, they'll kill our dummies. that means we didn't suffer loss at all. and you know, so on and so forth. haha. so in the end, we'll have more soldiers than them! oh oh! and there was this once when my maid told me about war in philippines because her mother experienced it. and they hid underground and all. so with some inspiration from twister the movie, haha i also wanted to dig a hole downstairs my house so that my entire family can run in. haha and i'll update the food and things in the hole once in a fortnight or something. just like how the famous five kids did it :) haha i can't finish the 110 survey questions that sandra gave last week! aye. met jacq, daniel and justin for breakfast at ten in church this morning before spending the next 2 hours photocopying and stapling the registration forms! so all those that take the forms tomorrow, you better handle it with care and return it to me with the money and don't you all dare to lose the forms! they're photocopied on first class paper! ha. jacq and myself even hand stapled them! you better appreciate it! :) ok. got to leave soon for leader's training. i hate 603Friday, November 14, 2003 11:25 a.m.
my hair has grown! yes yes yes yes yes! haha. it's no longer that short. but now i think i'll have to trim it because it's getting a bit fat! ah. alex! no more calling my hair some stump! haha. should i cut it or should i let it grow fat? i don't know!!Thursday, November 13, 2003 11:53 p.m.
i have to tell you what the horrible bloke named alex did today!! thinking about it makes me mad. i'm actually boiling! argh! alex i'm going to get you for this! mich, ron, alex and myself were walking into the cafe at project shop bloodbros for tea when from a distance we saw rhino(my nickname for him eversince sec3!). obviously, i defended myself and ran inside the shop! but that bloke had to stand out there and act handsome. so rhino came up to the bloke and started talking! i mean they were afterall classmates for 2 years! and then the rhino asked the bloke who he was here with. and stupid alex knew how much i didn't want to see him, mentioned my name of all names! so smelly rhino came trodding in to say hi! argh. and alex the bloke just had to run away while ron and mich started laughing so loudly! now. the smelly rhino just didn't say hi! he stayed and talked for like 5 long mins?! asking dumb questions like why i was in paragon! i wanted to faint! really! now, don't get me wrong. i don't hate the rhino. i just dislike him and don't want to get near him at all! and rhino had the cheek to stay so long and self invite himself to 5plus mins of tea! argh. horrible creature. alex you're horrible too. of course alex didn't suffer as much as i did. hahaha. he only got a gazillion hits from me! but other than that small mishap, the day went along pretty well! and paragon's officially my favourite shopping/eating place now :) oh yeah. i was going through my emails and i'm getting scared over the games we're going to play at church camp. haha. ryan said we girls have to bring a dark coloured teeshirt for water games and an old set of clothings that can be thrown away. and then ben added we should bring an old pair of shoes that can also be thrown away? ah! and my sister somewhat breathed some word that the games are going to be muddy! ah! so games comm, please spare a thought for us! haha. like jacq said, it seems as if games is somewhat going to be like obs-styled. haha. can't wait for camp anyway. a time for getting to know my master better and learn how to seek him wholeheartedly and definitely a time of refreshing. just what i need.Thursday, November 13, 2003 01:30 p.m.
i've got to get down to changing the template of my blog! it seems like everyone's going overseas to study or have made plans to go abroad by the time they finish with the A's! everyone except me! bumped into sheryl and priscilla yesterday at paragon and sheryl told me she's leaving ac to go australia? argh. everybody's really leaving or planning to leave. i want to leave too. i just don't feel like staying here and slogging it out for a year in a local univeristy. and no. i'm not just jumping on the bandwagon. i really want to slog it out elsewhere. like in UK perhaps. i want to take care of my ownself. strike it out on my own. more importantly, i want to start anew. i'm quite sick of singapore. i just want to go somewhere where nobody knows me and then from there, work hard and make new friends and perhaps even stay there in the future to work. i don't want to study in singapore anymore or for any matter, stay in singapore any longer. i will probably miss everyone back here but the world's so small now and travelling is so easy. aye. i don't know. i just want to go abroad. look at vanessa! she's having so much fun in UK and she's getting the grades still! it's like everytime i talk to her, she's telling me she's going somewhere to either party or travel or she's going to the library. but then, she sounds happy to be heading to the library! argh. so dear mommy and dear daddy. please send me abroad after my A levels. somehow they seem really determined to get me to experience both the singapore university and the overseas one. but i don't think i can take any more singapore noneness.Tuesday, November 11, 2003 11:45 p.m.
happy 21st birthday eugene! :) haha. it's my cousin's birthday today but he's not back from studying in the states yet! so please eugene, i know you're reading this! come back quickly! the government's waiting for you to serve the nation and i'm waiting for my birthday treat! :) finally caught up on sleep again. i've been sleeping as if there'll be no tomorrow. and pw's oral presentation came and went. yeah. PW's finally over! which means i'm finally off school. no more school till second januray 2004! :) the presentation was horrid. i think i spoke too fast and i didn't answer the question properly. but nevermind it's over. oh and on pw day (monday), suzanne's group was with our group and because my group was having some problem and all, one guy in the group offered us his help. like the 4 of us were pretty handicapped and we didn't know how to go about transferring files and all but he just took charge and we could present it properly in XP! and one girl lent us her laptop because her's got office XP. really helpful bunch of people :) you can never judge a book by its cover :)Sunday, November 9, 2003 07:40 a.m.
ah! had the best dinner last night! went to a restaurant inside Ritz Carlton called Snappers :) wonderful! haha. it was all so cosy and beautiful and looks out to the poolside! this is what i had for dinner :) Foie Gras ice cream with zest confitChicken essence on truffle and water chestnut custard
Salsa verde marinated cod fillet prosciutto and onion compote in miso gravy
Pickled cherries served with pain perdu and golden raisin chutney
Black truffle parfait with white pepper cigar
yummy! seriously. they have excellent service! the swiss chef came out and chatted with us and the manager came and check on us very often and they recommened very good wine to go along with the food! haha. and they had this very interesting way of serving their bread. instead of just bread with olive oil, they still served it with olive oil but this time with 10 different spices added and pounded together! extremely creative! the spice dip looks a bit like the guava dip though :) haha. but i felt my cod fillet was a bit on the saltish side. oh oh and the foie gras was like served inside the ice cream! it was starters and the chef said that it is the only foie gras in the world served inside a ice cream :) i loved it! everything was soo good! go check it out! haha. they had some kind of after dinner desserts which are actually chocolates served on top of dried ice. excellent! oh. and we had the thai judge as our guest and he was interesting! he invited me up to visit Thailand and i'm definitely going! haha. but i realized it was quite tiring spending like 3 hours plus sitting straight and making sure you don't slurp your soup, don't make too much noise while putting your cutlery down and not getting dirtied and all. what's more like i've to keep on putting a smile and act interested even though i have no idea what the conversation is all about! so, now i really pity mommy when she accompanies daddy for his dinners! haha. she was telling me before the dinner that she was so bored at the awards presentation the night before that she actually noted who the board of directors were for some company :) haha. i really understand what she goes through now and to think i thought she was lying about the dinner/awards presentation being boring. but mommy did a few things for daddy at the awards presentation. well, that was what she said in the car! haha. she talked to daddy's boss and he invited the whole family for lunch because the last time we met up wth the boss was when he and daddy went to germany together and we sent them off. haha. on top of that, she chatted with a few of daddy's friends wives and they ended up organising more lunches so both husbands and children can meet! cheers to more yummy pigging out sessions :) so i guess, mommy just doesn't dress up and go for dinners. she does some kind of a job :) haha. which of course brought to my realization that a wife's job is not easy. besides educating the children both academically and spritually and taking care of them, the wife has to follow the husband around, support him in everything he does and take care of the house and entertain friends and relatives and so much more! i'm taking my appreciation for my mother another step higher :) before dinner i went for the leader's training in church. kind of discussed the book of Job. i can actually relate much to Job! the past few months have been like a rollercoaster ride. and i've constantly questioned God about many things like why is it that i study hard for a particular test but yet i don't get the grades or why somebody else who cheats or according to my judgement don't deserve to promote gets promoted. or perhaps why my life has to be so sucky according my standards. or why is it that the results i've expected don't turn out like what i've expected but well. i realized that God answers in many different ways and he has his own plans. and for the benefit of those that didn't really understand what the book of Job was talking about because everything seemed really ailen, there is a song. if you actually read the book of Job, you can find some phrases in this song taken from the bible. this is especially for dean saechang! please don't download this song from kazza. haha enjoy! i've been down my lord but where were you, i've been longing for your face
i've been crying lord but where were you, where were you comfort and your grace
i've been lonely lord but where were you, when were the days when you stood by me
i've been waiting lord but where were you, when will you speak to me again? and the lord said,
where were you when i formed the earth, when i spread the stars across the sky
can you raise your voice up to the clouds and stop the storm with your word
have you journeyed to the springs of the sea or walk in the recesses of the deep
have the gates of death been shown to you?
now ask yourself if you know of all these! my ears have heard of you
now my eyes have seen you
therefore i despise myself and repent in dust and ashes this song is really almost about Job. attend leader's training to find out more! :) haha. anyway. going to church now! it's games today so i guess we're done with the topic on money plus the sec2s are leading worship this morning :)
Saturday, November 8, 2003 12:28 p.m.
haha! i'm going to the Ritz Carlton for dinner at some restaurant that's just open! :) ah! haha. you see, mommy and daddy got invited last night along with another thai judge when they went over for an awards presentation at the Ritz Carlton where daddy was a judge :) ah! so sarahwong! this is for you. i'm making fun of you! too bad you'll have to make do with waffletown's jojo fries and caltex's chicken pie tonight! :) haha. i might just buy you a custard pie if you're nice to me! yay. i can't wait to eat but that's only after i'm done with PW and leader's training! :)Thursday, November 6, 2003 03:49 p.m.
1T09 - CHAMPION HOME CLASS OF 2003 :) can you believe it? our class won the best home class title! yay! this is like the third hamper we recieved from the school! :) really can't believe it! but i'm soo damn proud of our class and i'm so happy!! i was just thinking about all the hard work we put in! it paid off! getting first in cheerleading and the dance-in-line and then getting second in both track and swimming :)what's more we took part in quite a few of those interclass games! whoa. oh. this time 1t07 got first runner up. haha. they got it for cheerleading too during the last sports day :) ah! i guess our class's really united and all! and i think that's why we won! i mean even the guys in the class are enthusiastic about everything and everyone's so supportive! :) and how many classes actually organize lunches and dinners and almost 75% of the class turns up? i really don't believe it really happened! haha. they said something like we had the highest numbers of people improving from the mid years and a great notice board! it was quite funny when they were announcing because our hopes were kind of dashed when they announced 1t07 as first runner ups. but then when the teacher said that the champion home class was 1t0 something, we knew it was us! haha! and we all really just screamed! :) kind of quite egoistical and all but we won it anyway :) i hope we win it again next year! :) i'm just so proud of this class and i'm so glad i'm in it! :) haha. took alot of photos after school and did stupid things like posing next to a dustbin and hiding behind bushes :) i must upload those photos! oh! haha i remember jeremy saying something like there's a reason why there are 2 rows of teachers sitting behind us :) now we all know why :) anyway. went out after school with part of the class for lunch before sarah and myself splitted up to do some shopping! sorry lea! i didn't get your top! we wanted to try the zara skirt but the taka zara didn't have it! bumped into gilly and jacq too :) i've no idea what i'm going to do about tomorrow's chinese exams. so totally not in the mood to study at all. i'm going to watch the matrix revolutions today! will write about it later! :)Tuesday, November 4, 2003 11:21 p.m.
somehow. i always have this ability to screw things up when they're going so nicely. yes. i did it again! i think i just blowed it when i sent that message! argh. i don't know what to do now anyway. went out for dinner with lea and she knocked sense into me again. she said like if i don't give it a try, i'll never get it ever. and it's true, i can't always use studies or project work or camp or whatever to escape this issue when inside, i keep on thinking about it. argh. it's so complicated. but you see, when i accepted her challenge to try to pursue this matter, i just had to screw things up again. really, i don't see this issue going any further. i don't even know what i want from this. somehow, i have a strong feeling, i'll devote everything to it when i jump right into it, and then somehow it'll turn sour and i'll end up with nothing again. but i don't know how to stop it! if i become too comfortable, everything will just fall apart because i'll be found out. then again, if i'm too cold, then we'll fall apart. there seems to be no way out. perhaps i really worry and plot too much but still! do you even understand what i'm going through? you'll probably never. i just never seem to be free from problems. just when i thought the horror of the promos were over and i'm coping with project work, this matter has to surface. argh. i saw this nick on my sister's msn which seemed to make sense."life sucks. it's just like a vacuum cleaner" how true. i'm suffering from a very bad stomach upset now. probably from an overdose of seaweed soup. i wish i could just sleep and sleep and when i wake up, everything will be fine again and i'll have no more problems. how many times have i wished for that anyway?
Monday, November 3, 2003 11:18 p.m.
just came back not long ago from project work. daddy and myself went over to delifrance to get mommy cheesecake! i want to try it tomorrow. mommy's like saying how delicious it is and all. anyway. went over to eebing's house for project work! eebing, thank you for hosting us! haha. really fun. we managed to finish up our slides and partially divide the parts we're supposed to do! haha. we were laughing quite alot and making quite abit of noise! there was this clip we were watching, but eebing took so long to notice something in there and then at first when myself and bridgitte saw it, we were like jumping around because we noticed it. but then when we replayed it for eebing again and when shimin paused it for a while, we screamed! i don't know why. haha! it was so funny but somewhat scary! :) i can't really reveal the clip now because it's like for our project :) haha. i really like my pw mates. this group's good. it's just so sad that perhaps after this entire episode is over, we won't be that close. somehow. i think pw's good because it brings different people together. like i've gotten to know shimin, bridgitte and eebing better. and as cliche as it might sound, it really teaches co-operation. oh oh!! i just started talking to my kindergarten friend again! haha that makes us friends for 13 years already although we only met last year! plus he goes to the same church as me but i didn't really realize! haha. but i don't really remember daring him to walk into the girls toilet to switch all the towels! haha :)Monday, November 3, 2003 02:20 p.m.
bad news. mommy went for some ultrasound scan a few weeks back and today she collected her results. she has to go for some operation next week to take out her fibroid and some polyp something which is 12mm by 27mm which might be cancerous. mommy's probably going to take out that polyp something first instead of taking out her entire ovary because she's really afraid of the pain and whatsmore is that if she takes out her entire ovary, she'll not be able to do alot of stuff for the next few months. ah. then the doctor is going to send the polyp thing to check for cancer cells. argh. i'm scared for mommy. really scared. i don't know what's going to happen. although the doctor says, there's hardly a possibility that there is cancer cells and all, there is still a slight chance! argh. argh. and after taking out this polyp thing, she has to go take out the fibroid. please pray for my mother.Sunday, November 2, 2003 06:19 p.m.
"with your mouth, you bless others. with your mouth, you curse" which do you want to use your mouth for? that's what mommy told me. i guess when i'm really angry or something, i've really got to learn to control my tongue and not lash everything out. something mommy said also made sense. like how you should always try to speak good of people no matter how much they've done wrong to you or no matter how much you dislike them. even if i strongly dislike them, i should at least shutup. ok. makes sense :) reminds me of a certain someone who never says anything good.Sunday, November 2, 2003 05:58 p.m.
happy 18th birthday terence!!!! :) it was terence's birthday yesterday so we went out as a class to eat and celebrate his birthday! really fun. i wasn't expecting like 75% of the class to turn up though! :) terence! i hope you had fun! :) it was really good! we were making so much noise, laughing, telling jokes, taking lots of pictures! this class is superb! seriously. i've never really seen a class so united, so together. i mean look at some classes, they have major cliques and they bitch about each other and whatsoever. but i can say that this class isn't like the other classes out there! they might be groups, but we all come together for a certain goal. what's more we have really sporting people in class :) after dinner, myself, terence, suzy, hilary, jeremy and terence's friend went over to muddy murphy's to watch the manchester united game, play bridge and drink beer. oh and suzy and myself took lots of silly photos in the toilet! haha. went home close to half time because we didn't have money to take cab. haha. what a pity. went over to millenia walk for lunch today. haha. it was quite funny. mommy and daddy met their old friends and so their son was like ' oh you're hannah right? i used to call you hannah the hammer when we were together in sunday school last time' at that time, i just wanted to sink right through the ground! how embarrassing! then mommy met her cousin at harvey norman. i saw my camera there again! haha. daddy's being real nice by saying he'll get it for me and all so maybe i'll get it after all :) oh! and i can get a few stuff because i completed those block periods of revision! mommy is also kind of agreeing to let me take a vacation in africa since there hasn't been any terrorist attacks so far and i passed my exams. yay! it'll be a whole new experience for me! :) can't wait! i really hope she allows!
