something borrowed, something blue.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006 11:50 p.m.

It can sometimes be the hardest thing on earth and possibly the most frustrating thing as well.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006 07:34 p.m.

Maybe after a while, you just take everything good and bad that comes along. You easily dismiss the disappointments, live with the things you once couldn't live with and shrug off whatever unkind words, hurt and fragility you face.

Monday, August 28, 2006 11:02 p.m.

A few minutes ago on the phone:
H: Oh honey, you're so sweet!
E: Well if my girlfriend is a bee nest, how can I not be sweet?
H: Er, I think you meant bee hive?

Hahahahahahaha.

Sunday, August 27, 2006 10:10 p.m.

I have exactly 3 months before school ends! On the 27th of November at 1130AM, I'll be free!

Sunday, August 27, 2006 08:50 p.m.

The boyfriend always comment that I shouldn't just eat ice cream from Haagen-Dazs, Ben&kJerrys or island creamery because it limits me but mainly I think it's because it cost him quite a bit. Haha. So anyway, I heeded his advice and got King's $5 for 1.5litre tub of ice cream and it sucked so badly, I couldn't even bring myself to finish the 2 scoops. I feel sick. From now onwards, I'm sticking to my favourites! No more subsitutes!

Church today and taught sunday school after a 3 week break. I realized I do like teaching and it's fulfilling even though it's real tiring and challenging. I'm very comfortable in that role. This might be my calling afterall but I'm definitely going to spend more time praying about it before I recommit myself again next year. Spending time to prepare for the lesson also teaches me more about the bible and Jesus! E and myself headed to Tanglin Mall for japanese with Juan Juan and Leroy after service before I went over to my grandma's! Going back to school again tomorrow. Ugh. Once again, I haven't exactly completed all my work. Here's to getting shot down by tutors, unendurable project meetings, long days and even longer train rides home and stuffing my face with font size 10 readings till Thursday!

Sunday, August 27, 2006 12:29 p.m.

My boyfriend is becoming an extremist leader. Please join his group if you're interested in conquering the 'A's in school. His name is Omama Bek Laden and he has many wives but I'm the first and the most important. He doesn't ride on camels in the hot desert but instead zips around in a white car!

Saturday, August 26, 2006 12:09 p.m.

Has it grown cold?

Friday, August 25, 2006 01:43 p.m.

Just woke up and had grilled chicken wings and broccoli for lunch! Life is good when you don't have to go to school!

Thursday, August 24, 2006 11:06 p.m.

The thing about love is that it takes time to develop. It's a gradual process that requires alot of nurturing, time together and communication. You can't possibly see a hot girl at 8:02pm and at 8:03pm, scream Wham! and start proclaiming out loud that you love her like crazy.

Thursday, August 24, 2006 10:18 p.m.

Thursday's here! Woot woot! No more classes or project meetings or tutorials to do for this week! I'm really tired from school. Tax presentation this morning was rather disappointing, main comm meeting was surprisingly productive and our accounting report isn't even 20% done. I really cannot see eye to eye with him. Mum picked me up from school today at around 645PM (she's been sending us to school for the past few days because Dad's in Manila) after I was done and then I drove her down to the supermarket and we picked sarah up from her friend's house. It only took me an hour and fifteen minutes to get home and run all those errands and if I had to come home on my own, I'll probably only be at the Orchard train station. Now you know why I hate having to take the train home from school?

Came home and completely slacked off by watching CNN's footsteps of Osama Bin Laden and it was really very well done and informative. They were interviewing people who met him, his childhood friends, tracing his roots, talking about how he grew up, his transformation from a follower to a leader and what made him or how some events in the muslim world made him such an extremist and how he worked together with the Taliban and all so it was really interesting! I wonder now if Osama's hiding in some cave in the mountains of Pakistan or if he's dead or if he's busy plotting another terrorist attack against the Jews and Christians and the Western powers of this world. It always puzzles me how someone could possibly strap themselves up with bombs and attempt to blow themselves up and kill the innocent people around them as well. Do you think Singapore and the other countries of this world could possibly avert another major terrorist attack or do you think it's just a matter of time before the terrorists find a hole and hit again?

Tuesday, August 22, 2006 08:41 p.m.

Met Professor Geraldine Chen today and turns out she's recruiting student leaders cum ambassadors. I think there's going to be 40 of us and our job really is to sell the school over the next academic year and I think plan for next year's orientation or freshmen welcome day. She explained to me the different strategies and initatives the business school is taking and helped me understand the different platform on which NUS, NTU and SMU are competing and we talked about various issues as well so quite a good half an hour chit chat!

School has been tiring me out mentally and physically and for the past 2 days, I've been coming home at around 8 plus and I'm really too tired to even do any work then. I don't know what's going on in accounting 201 and 202 and also in the tax seminars and I kind of feel like I'm slowly drowning. I have a tax presentation on permanent establishment and source of income on Thursday and seriously, I'm super scared and I don't feel very confident at all. Since last week and especially after cell on Saturday, a few things happened and I kind of realized the whole world doesn't revolve around me, I'm no superior than anyone else and I have to be sensitive. I think I'm also slowly beginning to see a few things and realizing the importance of humility and the necessity to remove pride from all areas of my life. I am learning so please be patient.

Sunday, August 20, 2006 10:52 p.m.

Going back to school again tomorrow and I still haven't finished my compulsory readings for the week. Ugh. I can't wait for Thursday already.

Saturday, August 19, 2006 06:41 p.m.

Older girls cell at my place again this afternoon and we're still on the topic of spiritual disciplines but today, we touched on servanthood. Really interesting because prior to discussing about servanthood, we talked about pride and humility. And Clare mentioned that being vain and preoccupied with our appearance is pride in itself. It isn't just about thinking you're better than the other girl or being stubborn or being preoccupied with your own achievements. To be honest, I think I'm quite full of pride in many areas of my life and it's something I've been trying to get rid of. I didn't think that vainity was pride in itself until today because I didn't think I was vain since I don't wear makeup or take 2 hours to dress just for a saturday night out or I don't wear heels everywhere I go but then I remember the number of times I complained to E and whined that I don't have enough clothes and I need more so that I have a wide selection to choose from and fuss about whether I'm dressed up properly and whether my shoes and bags match and then I know that I am truly vain and I need to work on this sub pride issue as well.

Anyway, pride issue aside (I'm working on that and I'm praying God humbles me continually), Clare shared 4 different ministries in which we could exercise and practise servanthood. The ministry of the mundane, the ministry of being interrupted, the minstry of holding your tongue and the minstry of bearing. We were challenged to practise servanthood this week so I think I'm going to try to do something for my family and forget about pride or what they'll think or whether they'll think that I've admitted defeat and all. I'm going to try to ask my mum how her day is or wash my own cups or help sarah with her work. On another note, I'm also going to make it a point not to brush my father aside and pretend that I'm too busy with work to even talk whenever he walks into my room. I'll report back next week and tell you how it goes!

Going to meet the boyfriend soon for dinner! Spent yesterday with him as well and we had lunch together at Novena followed by Adam Road's nasi lemak for dinner! Well, yesterday he confessed to me that he spent $270 on his car extractor (to make the car more responsive and all) on thursday while I was at school and you can't believe the big shock I got! Including thursday's purchase for the extractor, he has spent a total of $340 this week alone on car parts. I don't mind him buying stuff for his car and all but he really is a big spender and so much for him nagging whenever I buy more shoes or clothes that don't even cost $100. Haha. Ah well, men.

Thursday, August 17, 2006 08:54 p.m.

I'm glad tomorrow's friday and I don't have to wake up early to go to school or fret about how I haven't done my tutorials. I am really tired from school even though it's only the second week and today's accounting class was super stressful because the tutor was calling names and I didn't really know what was going on in the tutorial (even lazarus was saying the tutor was having his own small talks with some guys on the left) so I was so afraid he'll call me and I'll have nothing to say. The bid to get students to talk in class can get quite ridiculous sometimes and sometimes I think some students just anyhow sprout some nonsense out just to show the teacher they're talking when their talk doesn't even make sense! Tremendous amounts of readings this weekend and I don't know where to start or how to start. Feeling really lazy right now and all I really want to do is sleep relax and play the whole weekend away and realize on Monday morning that my homework miraculously got itself done.

In other news, I don't have to drive around with a orange triangle on the front and back of the car anymore because I was officially P-plateless last week! That was an important milestone for me because now my dad can't say I suck at driving because I've been driving for more than a year and I have zero demerit points with the exception of the warning letter for speeding which my dad still talks about when I'm driving at 70Km/h on the expressway and the bump on the back of the car from the motorcycle which he doesn't need to know about and the fact that I still can't parallel park or park from the left side. I am also no longer subjected to the boyfriend's cruel jokes or complains about female P-plate drivers who can't drive or park or change lanes properly because I'm just a female driver and not a female P-plate driver! Haha.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 09:56 p.m.

I received this email today. I don't know what we're going to talk about or who she is (I only know she teaches at the business school and that she obviously talks to the vice dean) or whether she has an agenda and if it's a positive or negative email but she sounds nice and it should be interesting! Right now, I'm trying to recall my interview with the vice dean and what we talked about. Other than that, I have lots of readings to do for accounting and I don't understand half of them. I also have a tutor/lecturer who knows the financial reporting standards (FRS) inside out, outside in. He also likes teasing people about their names and he confuses me with his brilliance.

"hi Hannah,

hope the new academic year finds you well. Prof Choo Teck Min, whom you met when he interviewed you to be an Orientation student leader, suggested that I meet up with you for a chat. He told me that he found you positive and upbeat and I should get to know you! Don't worry - this has nothing to do with work.

Would Friday 18 August 3:30 pm work for you?
If not how about next Tuesday 22 August either 10:30 am or between 2:30 and 4:30 pm?

regards
Assoc. Prof. Geraldine Chen
Director, Student Development and Outreach"

Sunday, August 13, 2006 11:18 p.m.

I always hate sunday nights because I suddenly realize that I haven't done this assignment or haven't prepared the tutorial discussion or did my readings and then I start dreading the week. When will I ever learn to do my homework first before I go out and enjoy my weekend?

Watched "The Rock" on Friday afternoon with the boyfriend and it's quite a good classic action movie and since it was filmed in San Francisco, we were pointing out the various places we visited while we watched the show! Really cool and I miss that city! Had bak kuh teh for dinner at his place and to be honest, I think his family really make me feel at home. Watched "The fast and the furious" on Saturday night after having japanese for dinner and buying his new schoolbag for the new school term (my advanced birthday present to him) and spent today with him before going to my grandma's so really, it's been a wonderfully relaxing weekend.

I have a main committee meeting tomorrow at 730PM and that means I'll be in school from 830AM till 9PM. Sucks big time because it means I'll probably only get home at around 11PM. I'm pretty unsure about whether I want to be in the main committee even though it adds a line to my CV, gives me experience, exposure, leadership and all because I'm not too sure if I can commit to fortnightly meetings at 730PM, hold sub comm meetings every now and then and manage the rest of the things in my life. I'm praying about it and leaving it up to God to lead me in this matter. Hopefully, I'll be more certain and clear in a few days time.

Friday, August 11, 2006 12:32 a.m.

Just back from supper and chit chat at Newton with Steve and E. Full day of classes today that left me totally drained and a little clueless on what's going on. I hope I manage somehow. I have a terrible sore throat, I don't know how I got it, I sound like a man and my throat hurts whenever I swallow my saliva. The good thing is I don't have classes tomorrow so I am going to spend the day with the boyfriend!

Wednesday, August 9, 2006 04:36 p.m.

I was supposed to be reading and preparing for tomorrow's classes and trying to catch up on what I missed out on Monday but half way through reading Australia's accounting system (why am I even reading it?!), I fell asleep for an hour and didn't wake up till the boyfriend called. Seriously, the readings are so dry and I have a sore throat so I don't feel like doing any studying. Mum prepared shabu shabu this afternoon for lunch and it was absolutely delicious even though the beef wasn't that thinly sliced! Going over to the boyfriend's house soon for barbecue to celebrate his mum's birthday and to watch the national day parade!

Wednesday, August 9, 2006 01:39 a.m.

My house reeks of durian because my mum had a durian party with her sisters just now. Gross. Anyway, had buffet for lunch at Orchard Hotel with E and his parents this afternoon to celebrate his mum's birthday and that left me very satisfied but also very fat and full. We walked down to wheelock to burn off the fats, stopped by Zara to do my shopping (new clothes new clothes!) before going back to his place for a while. In the evening, the both of us drove down to the Marina Bay area in an attempt to catch the fireworks display but traffic was a killer so we only managed to see the fireworks from the car. The fireworks weren't that impressive! They were so low in the sky and we both agreed that Disneyland's display is probably way better! Fish&chips for dinner at fishermen wharf and then we took a slow walk around Boat Quay before coming home!

Yesterday, E was really nice to pick me up from school after freshmen orientation and we brought his parents out for seafood to once again celebrate his mum's birthday. She is celebrating her birthday over 4 days with different groups of people. Amazing. After that, E and myself caught Click which was pretty good because it reminded me of several important things in life like spending time with family instead of working all day long and treasuring your parents always especially if they're getting old because you'll never know when they'll be taken away.

Freshmen orientation turned out really well yesterday! I had a really interesting, friendly, ra-ra and fun group and I think we all got along really well and had fun hanging around one another, playing the games, eating lunch together and designing the poster and mascot! Too bad we didn't win best mascot or best poster! I wish I had this orientation last year because it really introduces you to school and it gives you an excellent opportunity to know your tutorial group mates better! Coincidentally, I had Jean Yong (CJ's council president) in my group so we gave each other a big hug the minute we met! Haha. There was also Gabriel from CJ (I think he was in 2T26), YuHao from Hwa Chong and Su Yi from SMU who crashed our orientation. Haha. Even though it was rather tiring to run around the whole day and all, it was personally quite fulfilling and highly enjoyable and I'm thankful for the experience and I'm glad I made friends with the other student leaders and the freshmen! :)

Sunday, August 6, 2006 10:48 p.m.

I am starting school tomorrow and wow, 13 weeks of holidays really did fly by so quickly! I'm glad I managed to get some decent rest this summer! The 6 week long internship in LA, hanging out and holidaying with Sel, Yaozhang, Chang and the boyfriend in Seattle, LA and San Francisco was definitely the best! It's going to be about 4 months of mad rushing, 830AM classes, project meetings, stacks of readings and late night studying before I get my 5 week long christmas break but I'm so excited! I hope this excitment doesn't die off!

Been reading quite a bit the past few days, met up with Juan on Thursday for shopping and girltalk, went to Ben Tan's house for spaghetti, red wine and ben&jerrys on Wednesday night with a bunch of sunday school folks, had the inaugural older girls cell at my house yesterday afternoon (that was awesome!), had lunch with another bunch of sunday school folks today and finally spent some time with the boyfriend yesterday evening and this afternoon.

Well yesterday at our older girls cell, we're started on spiritual transformation and we're going to touch on Spiritual disciplines over the next few weeks and yesterday Clare gave us some questions to think about and share with the group like am I spiritually inauthentic? Am I growing weary of pursuing spiritual growth and am I measuring my spiritual life in a superficial way? I think those questions made me stop for a while and question myself like why do I lift my hands up at worship, or why do I pray at prayer meetings or why do I read the bible every day for x amount of minutes? Am I reading the bible because I need to fulfill my daily "requirements" or am I really reading it because I want to learn more and grow? Am I lifting my hands up at worship to show others that I'm worshipping or am I truly in the heart of worship? I'm already liking cell and I'm seriously looking forward to learning more, growing closer to the Lord and building strong friendships with the girls!

Friday, August 4, 2006 01:18 a.m.

What would you do for the one you love? Would you climb the highest mountain, swim the deepest ocean and cross the widest river? Would you accompany her on her endless shopping trips? Would you change your mannerisms and dressing for him? Would you learn how to cook his favourite dishes and wash his dirty socks for him? Would you learn how to sew a teddy bear just to cheer her up when she's sick? Would you send her a love dedication on radio? Would you fly 25,000 miles just to see her? Would you cut yourself if he left you? Would you stay up the whole night waiting for him to call? Would you cry if you see her crying? Would you write a song for her? Would you pay for everything she wants and cater to her every whim and fancy? Would you support her in everything she does? Would you stand beside her when her world is crashing in? Would you do everything in your power to please her and make her happy? Would you love him unconditionally? Would you leave him because you love him? What would you do?

Wednesday, August 2, 2006 05:04 p.m.

What does it mean to spend time with one another? We're quite comfortable with the idea that going out for dinner or catching the latest movie or even walking around Orchard Road aimlessly is spending time with one another. But what about sitting in the park together, looking at the lake and enjoying each other's presence in silence? Can I say that if I'm studying with my group of friends, I'm spending time with them? How about talking on the phone every night? Does the idea of spending time with one another vary from person to person? Is some form of communication with a person considered as spending time?

Why does it seem like I cannot pull it all together?

Wednesday, August 2, 2006 04:10 p.m.

I spent my monday afternoon in school attending the training sessions for student leaders, playing the orientation games and listening to briefings for the freshmen day this coming Monday. Up till the time I walked into the room, I didn't know what I gotten myself into but after playing the icebreakers and the games, I realized that it was actually quite enjoyable and I did make some friends. They're not like the funnest and the most wild orientation games you can ever have and there's no flour, paint or water but this year, they're trying to teach and inform the freshmen about the business school, electives available, the illustrious alumni NTU has and the school's history and also about the course itself through games so I think they've managed to inform and yet let the freshmen have fun at the same time!

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