Monday, May 28, 2007 10:43 p.m.
3 major rejections and disappointments in the first 5 months of this year is a little too much for me to bear. I have this nagging feeling that I'll have a fourth major disappointment in a few weeks time when I receive my exam results.Sunday, May 27, 2007 01:45 a.m.
I saw the waterspout yesterday afternoon at work!!! It was about 2.30pm and I had just came back from a 2 hour long Reuters class when we all heard this lady a few desks behind us shriek "tornado tornado!!!" Immediately, the entire floor, from the interest rate and foreign exchange guys, to the traders, our entire desk and even our big big boss came running towards the window! Because our floor literally takes up the entire floor and we're on the second highest floor, we've got a full view of the harbour and the surrounding waters so everyone was gawking and moving from window to window just to get a better view! It was really quite hilarious because everyone stopped watching the market for about 5 minutes and watched the waterspout instead. It was so exciting in my case because it seems like the only thing that gets our floor all excited and worked up is when the US dollar surges past 1.53. Haha. Anyway, our desk head took lots of photos of the tornado (or waterspout) and he sent those pictures to Stomp with the caption "Breaking news! We keep you updated on the latest interest rates, currency rates as well as the weather!" We all couldn't stop laughing because it's really our desk that brings the latest on foreign exchange and all and not the traders themselves. We're the link between the traders and corporations. Haha. After that, he commented something like how waterfront housing shouldn't command that high a price because it's so unsafe and it's subjected to weird weather conditions. Haha. I was feeling extremely tired on Friday and my eyes hurt like mad (I think too much staring at the computer and Reuters) so when my boss was talking to an important client, I crept out (almost crawling already) of the office and ran towards the lift. Haha. I hope he excuses me from sneaking out and doesn't scold me tomorrow. Haha. Quite funny though because everyone except my boss saw me creeping out. Going out soon to look for air tickets and to plan my Europe travels. I want to visit so many places but I think it's going to cost a bomb and I don't want to spend too much too. Tomorrow night is Shu Hui's 21st birthday party and her theme's monochrome monaco (very nice theme!) and coincidentally, tomorrow is the race day for F1 Monaco!Wednesday, May 23, 2007 11:51 p.m.
I can't decide if my supervisor likes me or not. He's quite nice because he stays back after work to teach me so many things that are required for this job and he explains to me the logic and patiently teaches me. We finally finished the whole topic of foreign exchange after about 5 night classes and I got my forward cross spot rates and forward rates all correct! But yet, almost every other day, he would either chide me for doing something wrongly or not knowing something or he'll give some rather demoralizing remark. The other day was "oh you should just go back and be an accountant." Yesterday it was "how can you not know the office number" and today it was "your voice sounds too happy over the phone. We must be serious in our job" when I picked up the phone and happily greeted the other person. A piece of good news though! Our desk head (the bigger boss who is the boss of my supervisor and us all and also a member of parliament) told my supervisor today that he thinks my supervisor is overworking me and that he should give me a break and let me off earlier! And because my desk head is the boss, my supervisor has decided not to have night classes for the next 2 days and let me off early instead! Woot woot! I was so happy that I was skipping to the toilet after night classes tonight! Haha. Attended a lunch time course at Bloomberg today to orientate myself with the Bloomberg machine and its functions. It wasn't quite useful because Kelvin have taught me how to use it, met Bernand there and I think the only thing I actually took out of that course was that Bloomberg has a really nice office environment! The office is gorgeous, everything was so efficient, so clean and so white and of course everyone in the financial sector knows that the Bloomberg office is famous for their pantry. Their pantry serves up M&Ms, potato chips, free flow of drinks and all! I thought our pantry was very good compared to most office pantries because our pantry's like a mini cafe and we've got a wine cellar and cappuccino machine but Bloomberg's pantry beats ours flat! I was so enchanted by their pantry and I didn't have much to do when I came back to the office so I checked out Bloomberg's careers page. My desk head happened to see that I was surfing their career page and immediately asked if I was unhappy with my current job. Haha. I think that must have prompted him to tell my supervisor to cut me some slack but still, the pantry at Bloomberg is absolutely out of this world!Monday, May 21, 2007 12:33 a.m.
Another family party again this evening! This time round, we celebrated my aunt and my younger cousin's birthday! It's also round 2 of the farewell dinners for my uncle and his family. Haha. My mum's family always finds a reason to call for some family party but it's always excellent because there's so much family bonding, good conversations and yummy food! Next weekend, we're having another family party because it's my uncle and his family's last weekend in Singapore!
Shopping with E this afternoon to get him his yearly stash of clothes. He's a very focused shopper and so he just shops at one store, zooms in on what he needs, tries them all on and then heads straight to the counter. We're out in less than 30 minutes and we spent close to $200. I am absolutely jealous that guys can just walk into one store and pick up everything they'll need in their wardrobe from work shirts to socks to golf pants to underwear. Why do girls have it so difficult?
Back to work tomorrow! Another challenging week ahead and hopefully, this coming week won't be as tiring and stressful as last week!
Sunday, May 20, 2007 11:15 a.m.
I was supposed to have high tea at the Fullerton Hotel with my 2 older cousins and my uncle yesterday afternoon but we were quite full and so we ended up at Haagen Dazs at Esplanade talking and having ice cream and chocolate fondue. Ice cream was heavenly and much appreciated after the long week at work but I thought the catching up, talking with my uncle and bonding with my cousins was beautiful. My uncle shared something like how some people say they need absolute, 100% facts about Christianity to believe in it and Jesus Christ and all and he rebutted that by saying that in every decision that we make, we can never have absolute 100% certain facts. There is always this element of faith required and that applies to our decisions on employment, spouses and even cars. He talked to us about choosing our future spouses carefully, about BSF, about serving in church and so many things! Very thought provoking conversation and very good time spent considering my uncle and his family (that includes my younger cousins) are going to be in Vancouver for the next 3 years!
Met E after that for dinner at Raffles City, did a bit of walking around before we had coffee and good chit chat at Starbucks. Sometimes I think we don't have enough quality communication time for each other because we're so busy running errands or doing things. Honestly, I like the times when we can just sit down over coffee or ice cream and talk. Talk about the serious things that affect us like our faith, our family, our future, our struggles and not so much about work, or the latest PSP gadget or how my blisters hurt. Even so, I rather talk about tv programs or the latest cars and computers and spend time listening to each other rave on about our own hobbies or favourite new items then do mindless shopping and walking around in crowded shopping centers.
Saturday, May 19, 2007 01:15 p.m.
At this department that I'm in, $3million is small fish and $27million is known as 27 bucks. Seniority is also very important and yesterday our building had a fire drill and so they sent Kelvin and myself (He's the youngest employee on our desk) down to tick the desk's attendance! We figured they couldn't force our floor down because if they do, we'll lose millions or even billions in that one hour. We walked 33 floors down, talking about interest rates, the management associate program (he's in it) and about studying in the scandinavian countries because he did his exchange in Finland! My thighs are aching now and it's really funny because walking 33 floors down in high heels is no big joke. Somehow, the desk people also seem to get Derrick (one of the youngest) or Kelvin to buy them coffee or lunch but they've never ask the intern (me) to go downstairs to buy them anything. Haha. Other than that, I think my boss is mad pissed with me because my finance and foreign exchange and interest rate knowledge is crap to the max. He said something like how I should just go back and be an accountant and I took that as an insult. Was really stressed up on Thursday and Friday because he gave me some sums on forward cross spot rates and I didn't quite know whether to hit the bid or offer side of the interest rate and so there I was struggling and figuring it out on Thursday night and no one else could help me because they haven't really done those in finance classes. I was so demoralized yesterday, I didn't manage to have lunch (He didn't allow me too anyway) and I wanted to cry but that would make me look so weak. Maybe that's why only 30% of this floor are made up of women because this is really not a woman's job. Next week onwards, I'll have to start writing daily morning commentaries on the latest trends in the foriegn exchange market and that means I have lots of researching to do in the morning! They're sending me for Bloomberg and Reuters (E is thankfully in that class too!) 101 classes next week so that I'll be proficent enough on those machines to do my research and my project. I still got my boss's 'tutorials and problem sums' to do, got to get started on my projects and I suspect I'll still be getting off work late. The working life sure isn't easy. In other news, Citibank called and asked if I could extend the dates I'm available because they want me to do the internship with them. I'm quite excited though I'm not too sure if I want to spend my last summer holiday working my life away at the banks. You can't deny it's good exposure but still. Plus, my parents wanted to go to some beach resort for a family holiday during the national day weekend and I wanted to leave right after that for Europe and do some traveling around first especially to places like Austria, Poland, Budapest and Prague. Got till Monday to reply so actively praying about this matter now because I don't want to go into Citibank and dread it or regret later that I didn't enjoy my summer holidays at all.Wednesday, May 16, 2007 10:14 p.m.
It's been 3 tiring days at work and today, I was able to get out of the office at 7pm! I only got off work at 8.15pm yesterday and only at 7.15pm on Monday. To make things worse, I am expected to go in earlier at about 8.15am to read the Reuters news before the market open. But other than that, I'm quite glad I'm in this particular department because it's a real big big eye-opener. Even the physical office is slightly different from normal offices. It's really fast paced too and my supervisor has been teaching me lots about foreign exchanges and other things that is necessary for this trade and because I sit just next to him, I listen in on his phone conversations and others around me too and observe how they converse plus they are also sending me to courses and all so I've got a really steep learning curve. I'm the only intern there too so it can get a little lonely when people are too caught up closing deals and watching the market and they can't entertain me with small talk. I'm also not really allowed to use my phone during trading hours so no messaging anyone unless my supervisor is at some meeting. It can get a little stressful, like today where I had to manually calculate the spot cross rates (instead of taking it from the Reuters machine) and it was like a mini test and I wasn't allowed to make mistakes because as my supervisor says "the market doesn't make room for error" so that made me really stressed because I did not know anything about spot cross rates till yesterday. Thankfully I got it all correct so I've gotten a grip of it. I've got another mini test again tomorrow on forward rates and forward cross rates so it's going to be really stressful because I was really confused when he went through forward rates with me just now but I hope I get it all correct and I'm just honestly very glad for all the learning and this experience!Sunday, May 13, 2007 06:01 p.m.
Oh yeah! Found out today that my company law tutor goes to the same church as I do! Her husband's car was parked next to ours so we had a quick chat but I forgot to tell her I screwed up my share buyback question and basically my whole entire exam paper and if she could possibly do anything to salvage my mess! Haha.Sunday, May 13, 2007 05:55 p.m.
Mother's day dinner last night for my mum and my grandma at some Thai restaurant downtown. Dad refused to pay because he says he pays for all the anniversaries, birthdays, easter and christmas dinners and my mother isn't his mother and my sister's an eternal bankrupt so I ended up paying and it wasn't cheap! I think my parents think I'm earning alot from my internship. Haha. I quite enjoyed it because it was a really cosy dinner and the food was excellent! Dad was telling me which places to visit in Europe so I might leave 2-3 weeks earlier to do some traveling around! Dad insists that I must visit Prague and Monaco (though I think if I do visit Monaco, I might have to sleep on the streets and eat packed sandwiches) and I told him I'm not going to go to London. Then he said something like how I'm so poor and all that even if I go to London and shop at Harrods, I'll only be able to afford a key chain. So I rebutted and said "If you can go to Harrods at London and buys bags and all, surely I can too! Both our money comes from the same source right?!" Hahaha, my dad almost got a heart attack. Haha. Met E after that at City Hall and he brought me to this place where he proposes I should have my 21st birthday party. It's a private function room in the middle of the pool and you can swim around the pool and there's a garden by the side, it overlooks the sea and there's tealights along the pathways so it's really really lovely because it'll be like some garden/pool party but the place is too small! I don't even think it can accommodate my mum's family. What a pity really! Today, after church and lunch with Adrian, we went on a hunt for his playstation portable! Super tired from all that walking around and I really want to nap but I've got to go over to my Uncle's house for my mum's side mother's day party now! I have to mention this! E was deciding if getting the playstation portable would be really worth it and really that portable that he can bring it everywhere and so he asked "Can my PSP fit into your handbags?" Hahaha, I almost died on the spot. When I complained that I was tired from walking around Funan and that it was so boring because there was no interesting shops, he said "Once I buy my PSP, I can follow you shopping anywhere!!" I bet he's lying because the minute he gets his PSP, he'll sit at Starbucks and play while I shop alone. Haha.Saturday, May 12, 2007 11:08 p.m.
The F1 Grand Prix is coming to Singapore next year!!! Woot woot!!! I'm really really excited about it and my dad is elated!! :) I'm not too sure if I'm really looking forward to it being a night race because the lightings and all might make the race look so artificial and it would lose its sunny, cheery appeal and there are also so few turns on this track so it looks less challenging but I'm sure it'll still be exciting!! The Spanish grand prix in a few hours and I don't want Alonso the cry baby to win! Had the DBS orientation yesterday afternoon and that honestly left me damn tired. I can't believe I'm starting work on Monday and I really hope I'll be adequately capable for this job. Dinner with E at City Hall after he was done with work then we headed down to cell. We started on the 10 greatest struggles of your life and the author draws these 10 struggles from the 10 commandments. It was a cosy group of us yesterday and I'm quite glad there was some honest sharing going round.Thursday, May 10, 2007 11:23 p.m.
Today was quite a good day, save for a broken heart. Tried shopping with the girlfriends today but I think we're better off chit chatting and giggling over long lunches and cosy tea sessions. Came back and decided that I really needed some me-time to think and reflect so I went for a swim. It's also because I found out that my black skirt got a little tighter. I don't know if that's a blessing or a curse because I've been wanting to make my black skirt fit better and now it does! Headed off to BSF which was good and we're at Romans 8! The discussion questions were slightly easier today but it made me more determined to live by the Holy Spirit and not by my sinful nature. I also realized in doing my questions, that purifying ourselves is a two-fold process where we turn away from sin and turn towards God. We had fellowship after class and amonst the many things we shared, we talked about crossing life's hurdles and honestly, sitting down there, listening, eating (Felicia baked yummy cookies!), sharing and encouraging one another made me realize how grateful I am for BSF and the girls in my group and I'm really glad I got this chance to study Romans in depth.Wednesday, May 9, 2007 11:19 a.m.
I woke up this morning and I was completely gripped with fear. I'm honestly very worried about my exam results. I don't think about it all the time but sometimes, I just get struck by these thoughts. The papers weren't fantastic and I made tons of careless mistakes! I woke up thinking about the first 2 questions of the marketing paper which are worth 55 marks and which I completely screwed up and wrote so little on, then my mind drifted to the company law paper where I didn't finish the last question and I completely messed up my share buybacks and all (how could I ?!?!) and then I thought about my control & risk management paper and I wasn't too sure then if I identified the correct risks because it seem as if all the ways to mitigate the risks are very similar and I didn't tabulate my answers in a table form!! It's honestly very very scary and I don't have a good feeling at all, especially for marketing. I know I can't do anything about it right now but I can't help but think about it because it's like this nagging worry in my head. I definitely still trust in God's goodness and His plan for my future and besides my grades don't define me or control my life but it can get quite miserable when you don't do decently well and then it seems like it's even more difficult to get a decent job.Wednesday, May 9, 2007 01:26 a.m.
Sometimes understanding doesn't mean there won't be feelings of disappointment.Tuesday, May 8, 2007 11:59 p.m.
Met Jac for lunch and chit chat today, dropped by the Danish embassy to pick up some forms and then met E in the evening! Nicolle's 21st birthday today too so Happy Birthday Nic! :) You know Nic, I was going to find a picture of the 2 of us when I realized I don't have any 'soft' photo with you because all our photos years ago were captured on negatives and film and digital cameras were all fat and expensive at that time! Haha. Catch up with you soon! :) Yesterday night, I was over at E's place and we were watching TV when this really cute tv program, the geek and the beauty, came on. It's this show where a male geek (think Harvard, MIT graduates and even a guy who has 25000 comics) and a really hot girl (playboy model, pageant queen etc) pair up and take on challenges together and in the process of it all, the guy tries making the girl see life beyond fashion and lipstick while the girl tries teaching the guy to see life beyond their books and physics calcuations. The guys are really geeky! There was this chinese guy named Piao and when he introduced himself, he said, "Hi, I'm Piao but you can call me Pi" And then he went on to make that the Pi (3.14) sign with his fingers. HAHA. Then there was this other guy who got a perfect SAT score and he said something like "Oh, I'm definitely the 99% percentile in America but I'm not too sure if I'm 99.5% or 99.8% because they've always just had 99% percentile" Haha, I was just laughing away and going show off show off!! Haha. The show is really dumb and bimbotic but it's so hilarious and cute at the same time so I think it's going to be my monday tv fix! I like knowing that I can solve the challenges those girls cannot do but it can also get quite sad when you hear these brillant guys say how they really appreciate this opportunity to be paired up with a beautiful girl because they've never had the chance before and they'll probably never have the chance in the future.Monday, May 7, 2007 01:41 a.m.
Manchester United takes the premiership title!! Woot woot! All thanks to Arsenal! :)Sunday, May 6, 2007 08:51 p.m.
Chelsea playing Arsenal tonight!! If Arsenal beats Chelsea, the premiership title goes to Manchester United which is exactly what I want! So just for tonight, I'll be rooting for Arsenal! My dad's a little confused because he's a fan of Arsenal but if he supports them tonight, Man U will win the title and that is something he doesn't want. Yet if he supports Chelsea, he's a big time traitor. Haha. He thinks that Arsenal might actually let Chelsea win tonight because Arsenal has already no hope in the title chase so they might as well help Chelsea and let Chelsea battle it out with Man U on Wednesday. Oh well, whatever it is, just for tonight, GO ARSENAL GO!! Sunday brunch with my parents and Sarah this morning after church. We went over to Bras Basah complex after that because my mum wanted to look for some scandinavian cook books for me so that I'll be able to cook myself a decent meal when I'm in Denmark and not end up eating hot dogs everyday. Yesterday morning, the older girls' came over for cell and after that, I went to Seoul Garden for 3 hours of non stop eating with the girls. We did a little shopping before I met E, hung out at his place and then drove down to Changi Village for ji pah hor fun and my favourite commando desserts! Friday night was Aveline's 21st birthday party and I'm glad I managed to see her and the rest of the JC folks. Happy Birthday Avy! Hope you had a great time and have a wonderful 21st year! :)Friday, May 4, 2007 01:35 a.m.
BSF this evening was as usual, a very good time of learning. Doing the discussion questions this afternoon was quite difficult and a little confusing because of the questions they asked about the law and all. I was reminded again today that a sin is a sin in God's eye, no matter how small it is or if anyone sees it. Aunty Janet gave the example on how the last commandment, do not covet your neighbour's things, is quite unlike the other commandments because if you covet, no one knows and only God knows. Like if I covet your mobile phone, you won't know right? It's quite unlike murder or stealing where if you've committed the act, everyone is aware of it. But yet coveting, like lying or committing adultery is still a sin in God's eyes. We also discussed what the law does for a believer like how it exposes our sin and makes us aware of our wrongs and how the law in itself is good but it doesn't bring death. Only sin brings death. Quite interesting because at least I now have a clearer understanding of the functions of the law today. Met E after his work for sushi and then met up with him again after BSF was over. We went to the new Ang Mo Kio hub but all the shops were closed at 10pm so we could only look at the window displays. Haha. The hub has actually quite a weird layout and I think it only makes the whole area more congested. We've got a mission this summer holiday to visit most of the heartland malls like Lot 1 and Tampines Mall instead of just our usual Orchard, Marina Square and Novena. Bought McDonalds at the nearby drive-thru, took a slow drive down Thomson Road before coming home!Thursday, May 3, 2007 02:13 p.m.
I haven't been in the best of moods lately. I guess there have been a few issues on my mind, like finding out a really unpleasant matter and thinking about what can be done and improved at the the younger girls' cell. I'm still learning (and paying the price) that human beings, myself included, are just plain selfish and self-centered and they'll do anything to protect themselves and everything to hurt you. Other than that, I've been busy settling a few things, reading, looking around for a new wallet and camera and I'm still worried about my grades.Wednesday, May 2, 2007 08:18 p.m.
I can't believe it's May already! Time really goes by so quickly! Anyway, May day holiday was spent with E! We watched Blood Diamond on Monday night which was really good except that it was a little too violent for my liking. Reminds me of the other movie Rwanda and made me wonder if Africa is really in such a mess and if that's how a civil war is like. Scares me a little too because if a war ever breaks out in Singapore, my family will probably get splitted up. Other than watching the movie, we played xbox! I'm getting better at some shipyard racetrack because I crashed fewer times and I actually beat E in this straight track race but only because I used a Porsche and he used a Ferrari. We went to the swings near his place and came back to cook dinner and watch tv!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------