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Sunday, August 28, 2005 10:19 p.m.

My grandfather's birthday today so my cousin, Sarah and myself brought him out for dim sum at Crystal Jade! I thought it would be quite weird because communication is quite a problem for us but it turned out good! Haha. I was trying to tell him about a car crash so I went like " Na ge che tie diao" To which my cousin started laughing and asked me what the car tripped over. Haha. After that, my grandfather asked me to read his inbox because a message came in for him during church. So I read it out and it was nothing much so I told him "Ye ye, wo pang ni tiu diao" Haha.

I think my vocab is really limited! Haha. That's why I'm convinced I should take chinese up as an elective next Semester. I just don't know if I'll be able to cope. I really wonder how I passed my A levels chinese. Sometimes, I think it's because I think of what I want to say in english then I translate it so it comes out weird. Like how I wanted to tell my grandfather that I was going to help him trash his sms. Trash is after all tiu diao in chinese right?

My grandfather wanted to get me a car when he found out I passed my driving. He's so nice but I don't think he should spend his money on me. I drove him back and he thought my driving was not bad till I beat a red light and after that, throughout dinner at his place later, he went on non stop about the dangers of beating a red light. Haha. So I think he has now changed his mind about getting me a car.

Anyway, back to school tomorrow! Just another 8 more days! I can't wait! Once I get through the accounting presentation this Tuesday, I think I'll be able to breathe much easily already. Just looking back at the week that went by, I believe God really saw me through the week and He truly provided the strength and granted me so much favour and grace. Reflecting on the events and outcomes, it's amazing how he has sustained me and blessed. Amazing. I can only look up in wonder and go "Thank you Lord, thank you."

Saturday, August 27, 2005 10:07 p.m.

Lord, let my heart be good soil, open to the seed of your Word.
Lord, let my heart be good soil, where love can grow and peace is understood.
When my heart is hard, break the stone away.
When my heart is cold, warm it with the day.
When my heart is lost, lead me on your way.
Lord, let my heart be good soil.

Friday, August 26, 2005 08:46 a.m.

Honestly, the 830AM classes are such a torture! Thank God I only have 2 830AM lessons a week but I have such difficulty getting myself out of bed that I end up not showering, rushing for the bus, skipping my breakfast and being 15minutes late for the tutorial.

The only thing I look forward to at this 830AM Statisics class is that I get to use the computer.

Thursday, August 25, 2005 10:09 p.m.

I was counting down last night on the phone. I have 9 more school days till mid semester break and just another 7 more nights living in the hall! Yes! 9 days! I get excited just thinking about the break even though it's only a week! I honestly can't wait! I desperately need the break.

Time sure flies! I'll complete 7 weeks of school by the time mid semester break comes along.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005 09:07 p.m.

OMG. I'm dead tired. Mentally, emotionally and physically tired. I've just gotten back to my hall and I haven't even eaten my dinner. I've got a project due tomorrow which thankfully is done but I have to go through my points so i don't screw up my presentation. Accounting project due on Thursday is killing me. I don't know if we're reading too much into it and trying to be too perfect but it's so complicated and whatever it is, it's killing me and even after we submit the written report, we still have to prepare for our presentation on Tuesday. Ugh. And there's the business case competition and stats project due on Friday. Ugh. Really.

Because the projects take up so much of my time, I haven't had the time to do my tutorials and read up so I'm really lagging behind and it's not good at all. I signed up for interblock games too but I'm either back late or too tired to attend. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. It's really tiring! I need a break and I really need to catch up with my work. It's depressing.

All I want to do right now is to take a long hot shower, lie on my bed and get a good solid massage and have fishball noodles. I don't want to think anymore about how I can refine my reports or how I'm lagging behind in all my classes and don't understand what's being taught.

Monday, August 22, 2005 09:14 p.m.

Do you actually know what you got yourself into?

Sunday, August 21, 2005 10:21 p.m.

Spent quite a bit of time with my mum this weekend! I drove my sister down to Ikea yesterday and then mum and I decided to do a bit of shopping there too and after that, we went for a pedicure before I went over to church for cell leader's meeting, short catchup with Jac and then senior youth fellowship before coming back. Today was games for the sunday school class then service before I went for family lunch and the supermarket afterwards before coming home to sleep the afternoon away.

Was watching the Formula 1 turkey race at my aunt's place just now and omg! Schumacher didn't even finish the race! what's been happening to him this season! I don't believe it! I got quite a shock too when I saw him bump into Mark Webber and spin. I think he was quite desperate to get on top. Haha. But it was a good race and Turkey has quite an impressive track! Chelsea and Arsenal are playing later too! I hope Chelsea beats them! I hope any team that plays against Arsenal beat them flat! Haha.

This week's going to be one heck of a busy week. Got 4 projects due and there's the business case competition as well. We got into the semi finals so that's good news! But yes, the accounting project due this Thursday is killing me! Ugh. Praying hard I'll get through this week. It's another 3 more weeks to mid semester break so I'm really looking forward to that and I'll be skipping 2 days of school before the break to go for the young methodist leaders conference and then after that, I'm off to somewhere for a solid shopping/bonding/eating trip with my cousin! Yay. Not too sure where yet since we don't have much time but we're thinking of either Hong Kong, Bangkok or Shanghai and it'll just be the 2 of us! Can't wait!

My dad's not too happy about me going for the conference and for just asking my mum if I could go away because he thinks it's unbecoming of me to go on a holiday when I haven't even successfully completed a semester. Oh well. And he doesn't quite like it I'm skipping school for 2 days but mum's fine with it so I'm going! He hasn't been too happy with me too after he found out something but my mum says he's just being protective and that he misses sending me to school, or me calling him and asking him to pick me up from places and coming in to my room just before he sleeps to just see what I'm doing or to talk to me. Oh well.

I don't want to go back to school again. Aiyah.

Saturday, August 20, 2005 11:58 a.m.

I got stung on my neck by some bug! Ugh. I don't know when that happened but yesterday, when I put my hand around my neck, I realized that there was a lump and it hurt! Anyway, didn't give much thought to it. But overnight, I came down with a fever and the whole area was so painful and pus started coming out. The doctor says it's because my body's reacting to the sting and the pus that comes out is good because it helps to excretes whatever the bug gave me! Ah, thank God it's nothing serious and my immune system's working!

Anyway, because of the fever and the sting, I didn't go for the business case competition today. Was kind of looking forward to it even though it was going to take up my entire saturday but well. I hope we made it into the semi finals.

Last night, I went down to watch Tabitha perform in "Ides of March". She was Casca and she was so good in her role! Tab, great work! Excellent! I really enjoyed myself especially since I did Julius Caesar back in secondary school. Haha, but it was irritating at the same time because I was busy trying to recall what I wrote in my lit books and what each speech or scene said about the character and all! Haha. And there were times too when Sarah and myself would look at each other and mouth the next few speeches to each other before the actors started saying them because we memorized those speeches! Haha. Quite amazed I still can remember the story and certain speeches! Really impressed that the cast managed to memorize their scripts as well! Managed to catch up with a few other girls too before Edmund came by to give me a lift back because he was nearby.

And yes! I got the sweetest surprise last night! A pink polka dotted hand sewn small pillow so that I'll never have to bring my smelly small pillow back from the hall each time I come back :)

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 11:34 p.m.

I've got instant noodles and Campbell's instant soup in my room now! Ha! Aveline and Qian Hui, I can compete with you now and I no longer have to go over to your room to beg for food! Haha.

Edmund came up this afternoon and hung around till we went out for dinner and that was when I went to the supermarket to get some food! Ha! I'm so glad. I think it's part of the settling into hostel living process. I really had zero food before today except for some 3-in-1 milo and green tea. Haha.

Buying food, sitting in the car, walking up the stairs and the thoughts that ran through my head at those times was somewhat like a tight slap across my face. A matter of fact and similar to a rude wake up call. It's painful and certainly heartbreaking but I'll have to learn how to treat it as something normal, get used to it and seriously start doing what I ought to do. The sooner I get it done, the faster I change my thinking and frame my mind properly, the better it'll be for me. I hope.

Sunday, August 14, 2005 05:59 p.m.

If I'm given 24 hours a day, that means I have 168 hours a week. How would I divide my time in the week such that I attend all my lectures and tutorials, read all my notes and do my work, spend quiet moments each day with God, spend time with my family, Edmund and friends, attend church on Sundays, serve in church, go for bible study, participate actively in a cca, exercise and have some personal time for myself without sacrificing the 8 hours of sleep I need? What percentage of my time should I devote to each?

I don't know. I'm trying to figure that out. It's a very tough challenge and I know my parents are watching me very closely and the minute I pay more attention to something and something else important gets sidelined, they will definitely come down hard on me. But I'm going to try to manage all that and juggle. I don't want to just excel in my studies and realize after the semester or 3 years is over that I've backslidden in my faith, that I've lost my friends and family in the race up. Neither do I want to swing to the other extreme and spend all my time in church or going out with my friends and Edmund that my family life and studies get neglected and I end up having to stay an extra semester to complete my studies and I'm no longer telling my mum about my life, sharing clothes with Sarah or enjoying family dinners.

It's difficult. Really. It's somewhat like a battle between my heart and mind as well. I know what I'm supposed to be spending more time on but yet I don't want too and my lazy bones get active and I end up investing more time on something else that perhaps doesn't require that much of my time just because I want to spend time doing it. Hmm.

Anyway, went to watch Charlie and the Chocolate factory yesterday afternoon with Edmund at Tampines Mall! It sparked a chocolate craving within me and I think the show's kind of overrated! The visuals were good though! Headed to The Cheesecake Cafe at Siglap because we were intending to get Justin the cheesecake there but it was like $78 for a cake! So we went down to Choupinette instead. (Sorry Selena!) Had the laksa party at Deanne's house which was also Justin's surprise birthday party and then afterwards, went over to Edmund's for a while before coming home.

Back to school tomorrow. I wonder what this new week will bring.

Saturday, August 13, 2005 12:37 a.m.

Shucks. I can't park for nuts. Was trying to park at church just now and really, I suck! I can't slot the car into the lot without cutting into the other lots or missing my lot. Ugh. That's why I truly believe that driving school only teaches you how to pass the test and not how to drive and park in the real world.

Oh well, drove Edmund's car from Coronation where we were having dinner to Sixth Avenue because we went there for Venezia and then drove down to church and back to my home afterwards. He was trying to teach me how to park at the barker carpark too but I really do suck. So I guess, I can't drive for quite a while till I master my parking or unless I get someone who knows how to park to sit beside me. Haha. And yes, I think I need to wear my glasses when I drive at night because my contacts isn't exactly very clear. Nonetheless, it was fun and I like the feeling I get when I drive because I honestly feel more mobile and free (don't know why also) and I like the feeling that I'm going faster than the bus. Haha.

Friday, August 12, 2005 06:03 p.m.

I passed my driving! I passed my driving! I'm so glad and relieved! I thought I was going to fail because the tester told me that I striked the kerb when I was parallel parking and when I was driving on the road, this bus cut into my lane when he did his u-turn and he mounted the kerb and his bus looked like it was going to fall over! Haha. And so, the tester was like "why didn't you horn! Who said you can't horn during the test?" That time I really thought I was dead for sure and then the next thing I know, I stalled my engine at the junction and while lane changing, he said I didn't properly estimate the distance between my car and the car behind because the minute I lane changed, the car behind was really close to my car already.

But oh well! I passed and that's what matters! Haha. The tester said he gave chance when he was doing the debrief! Haha. Thank goodness because I can't imagine having to go down to Yio Chu Kang over and over again. I'm glad I managed to finish it in less than 4 months too and I didn't go for too many lessons as well! Haha. Now I can drive myself around when mummy or daddy don't need their cars or when they're away!

Passing my driving also means that I'll probably be staying in the Halls till Friday because there won't be a need for me to come home till then. It's good I guess because at least I can start settling down but. Oh well. Going out for dinner now with Edmund before we go for cell.

Thursday, August 11, 2005 11:17 p.m.

Is this really the maggi mee generation? Am I guilty of being part of this generation?

More on this another day.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005 09:43 a.m.

I witnessed a fire last night! I was going back from my Aunt's place and when we got out from the lift, thick smoke engulfed us and it was quite choking! At first we thought it was from the fireworks but it was like black smoke and then we saw this orange flame at the shophouses about 2 blocks from her!

So we made our way there (like any kaypoh singaporean) and the room above the shophouse caught fire! It was quite a big fire for a small place and even standing about 50m away from it, we could feel the heat of the fire! We could hear glass shattering and all that and after a few minutes, a few indian workers came and helped to put out the fire by pouring water on it.

I thought that was really kind and selfless of them to do that considering the fire was very hot and they were endangering themselves by climbing up and being so close to the fire! This guy who lived on the second floor let down this water hose and threw many pails down and the indian workers filled them up and formed a human chain, climbed up a ladder to the landing on the second floor and started to kill the fire! They managed to put out the bigger flames and by the time the firemen came, all they had to do was to check for people inside the house and put out the small fires! Haha.

I thought the SCDF responded really slowly. I think I was standing there for about 10minutes until they came and they had to run to find the waterpoint and were trying to get organised. They looked really disorganised! To top it off, they had like the rhino, 2 motorcycles and a large fire truck which I thought was a waste of resources because I reckoned they only need the rhino or the firetruck! This fireman was contemplating whether he should use the long ladder for the 2nd floor because he was trying to pull it out from the long firetruck and finally, his superior told him to just climb the stairs. Haha.

My cousin claims that it's because they were all at the Padang that's why they're taking so long and were so inefficient and disorganised. But yes, I thought the same way too. Like my impression on the SCDF just dropped when I saw the way they responded and managed the situation.

Anyway, I'm back at the Halls already. Don't think I'm going back tonight but I'll be home tomorrow night! There's block supper tonight and I'll probably go if Clarence, Clare, my roommate or my tutorial friend goes! Haha. Don't want to be so extra!

Realized too I like coming back to the hall. It's quiet and I feel like I have less things to do and less obligations to fulfill. It's like I'm not rushing that much. But of course, I still miss my clean, dry toilet ( I saw 4 carrot cubes and toothpaste in the sink just now!), my bed and the freedom to just go out at my whim and fancy.

Off to class now! I'm going to try walking today! I'm in quite a good mood! :)

Tuesday, August 9, 2005 08:05 p.m.

I watched 3 episodes of Star Wars today! Yes! Star Wars episode 4, 5 and 6! And I woke up at 745AM because the star wars screening at Dan's house was starting at 8AM. Haha. The whole group of us ended up staying till 5PM and yes, I still don't believe I managed to pull that all off! Haha.

Star Wars wasn't that bad and I actually had fun watching it! It's actually quite interesting! I brought a book along because I thought I would get bored but I managed to follow along and enjoy it! Now I wouldn't mind watching episode 1, 2 and 3! Haha. But don't worry, I haven't turned into some crazy Star Wars fan yet.

Had dinner last night at Fish&co with Jess, Jac and Deanne and afterwhich we adjourned to NYDC for desserts. I'm at my aunt's place now watching the national day parade and having dinner and I really don't understand why Singapore is showcasing all their weapons, military transportation and all that! Sure, it's a form of deterrent and some sort like "Hey Mr Osama, don't play with us! Look at what we have" but wouldn't potential terrorists also see this and perhaps they can spot our weakness? Besides, I think the mobile column wouldn't put the terrorists off if they're very determined on acheiving their aim. I don't know. I don't even know why I'm watching it when the parade is the same like all the past parades and the performances are rather cheesy even though I realize that these people have put in alot of effort. Let's just have half an hour of non stop fireworks, the ceremonial stuff and 2 days off! That'll be much more appreciated! (especially the off days!)

Going back to school again tomorrow. Ugh.

Monday, August 8, 2005 10:16 a.m.

I couldn't wake up this morning to go for my 1030 tutorial so I'm just going to skip it and go in later for the accounting lecture. I didn't manage to sleep till around 3AM last night because I was thinking of some stuff and ugh. Really.

I don't like school. And I think I can now pinpoint why.

Sunday, August 7, 2005 11:02 p.m.

It's damn sian that NTU doesn't have national day celebrations tomorrow or a school holiday on Wednesday! Like hello, I would like to wear red and white to school, sing national day songs, wave flags and have a holiday too since I'm still a student! Yes, I might be older, I don't wear uniforms but I still have exams, homework and whatever nonsense school brings and I want my Aug10th holiday! I honestly hate to use hokkien words but sian really is befitting for this situation.

I forgot to add also that the wonderful lecturers and tutors have decided to replace the lessons that we're going to miss on Tuesday so it's really ugh. I'm starting 2 hours earlier tomorrow at 1030AM and will only be done at 630PM. Ugh. And I think I have an additional 2 hour lesson on Wednesday. Really super uber sian.

I had a really good talk today with Jac but what we discussed got me thinking and add that to what Melvin said at his place on Friday night, my short time talking to Charmaine after cell and the chat I had with Edmund in his car after Melvin's place got me thinking quite a bit this weekend so my brain's working harder now in an attempt to capture all that, frame it, think it through, question myself and perhaps, express it. But it's good and I enjoyed those conversations and listening to them but somehow this time around, those interactions got me thinking quite a bit.

I don't know. This weekend was really quite restful but there's much dread and sianness (It's because of school) and I'm mood swinging again. I don't know what else to say so I think I'll just go pack my bag, grab a glass of milk and try the 4 new highlighters I bought today!

Saturday, August 6, 2005 01:57 p.m.

What does it mean to be in one? What should it be all about? What does it take to hold it? What should its foundations be? How do we build it up?

Thursday, August 4, 2005 08:51 p.m.

Passion. Hmm.

Wednesday, August 3, 2005 05:46 p.m.

A surprise visit at 10PM last night and a pint of Ben & Jerry's to go along totally caught me off guard and surprised me but it was definitely the best part of my day! :)

Feels good to be home again! My parents have no idea that I'm coming home tonight. Haha. But anyway, I'm going out for dinner now! I haven't had my lunch so I'm starving and I want something hot!

Tuesday, August 2, 2005 06:41 p.m.

School has been ok so far! I dare not use great because I'm starting to feel a few things so Ok would be the word for now.

My roommate is quite a pleasant girl and I have no complains. She made me jasmine green tea last night and even told me about a guy she liked. Haha. She even lowered the fan speed this morning because she thought I was cold! And she usually stays in the library to study after her lessons so she doesn't usually come back till around 9.

Hostel living is quite fine too! Last night while pacing up and down the corridor because I was on the phone, I saw 2 guys trying to fly some kind of plane at 12Midnight! And at 115AM, Clare came over to borrow a hole puncher. Haha. The things people do at night. The only complain I have is that I have to remember to bring so many things along with me in the shower and it's irritating that there's no shelf or whatever for me to put my toothbrush at the sink or my shower gel in the toilet! Equally irritating as well is that I have to always lock my door if I want to just go and use the toilet or get water. And of course, how can I forget that certain parts of my room has no reception so I have to leave my phone somewhere near the window?

My first tutorial today and it wasn't that bad! I made a few friends but remembering their names was quite a struggle. They're quite a nice bunch. I think I'm slowly adjusting back to school but really, there's alot of readings to do and I think that is the killing part. I'm still worried I won't do well.

Realised today that it's very easy to get lost in school. Not really physically lost though I spent 10 minutes walking around a block trying to find my tutorial room but lost lost. I mean, you're just one of the many faces around. You technically don't have to keep yourself accountable to anyone and really, if your friends and you don't arrange to meet up or you don't have anyone in your lectures or tutorials, it's easy for you to just slip past everyone and soon, become the background. I don't know.

Anyway, I'm off now for dinner at Canteen A with Rachel, Aveline, Li Qing, Sobia and Rong Rong and whoever from JC who wants to have dinner with us. We had dinner last night at canteen 2 and decided to meet up everynight and try a different canteen everynight! Haha. I'll be home tomorrow night too! Yay!

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