Abiosis :: the absense of life

Dark Ages

I just read a couple of blogs in the past hour, strangers' & friends' alike, & i am going sleep soon feeling a tad more disturbed than usual.

Why? You may ask.

I read the last blog entry by xiaxue, posted on Sept 30th. She rambled about ugly people and how she actually discriminates them, discriminates people with suicidal tendencies and lastly, discriminates the people at City Harvest Church.

That of coz created a lot of small talk amongst her blogders (blog readers). I read the comments: Blogders flaming each other. Some standing their ground, others took sides. War ensured between the blogders.

I was tempted to post a comment too, as i usually do, but i stopped short of doing so.

Me: "This is so childish! There wasn't any need at all to post silly remarks & go around deflaming everybody! WTH!"

Ah, yes, i realised it would be very childish if i joined in the fray & posted some inane comment of my own.

I quote what xiaxue said:
"...Some holy people (possibly city harvest people who sincerely believe that "there is some good in everyone". Screw that. I know some people who are JUST made solely out of evilness, wanna intro?) out there will be saying "Who are you to judge who is ugly and who is pretty, Xiaxue?"..."

Reader 1 goes:
"Hey. The (negative) reference to Christians was totally uncalled for. You may not believe in God yourself, but the very least you could do is respect others' religions. What's wrong with being a member of CHC, anyway? At least they're a tad lot happier than you seem to be now."

Reader 2 goes:
"...Although I m not a member of City Harvest nor a Christian, I agree totally with (Reader 1) that ur hostility is totally uncalled for. Y depreciate other religions or condemn a church with whom you have absolutely no associations or part of? simply cos u cant stand the pple for being happy & accepting others for whom they are? Because they are so different from you? Besides this isnt the first time u hv referred to City Harvest negatively in ur blog. I think the pple there are too nice to rebutt u. Imho, this entire entry shows you are really childish & superficial."

So there.

Opposing Reader 3 goes:
"To Reader 1:

This post is by your so-called "no-matter-wat-xiaxue-says-i-also-agree-despite-her-being-totally-mean-and-unjustified fan" :)

I can spend paragraphs rebuking you, but I really have better things to do. In a nutshell, I think you are really more suited for http://www.teletubbies.com/ instead :)"

Other opposing reader 4 says:
"...(to reader 3) remember the Holy word? Bah!

So here we go fellow Blogders,

To Reader 1, we go... BAH!

To which Reader 3 replied:
Thanks for the reminder :D!

Ahem, to Reader 1: BAH!! Bah bah black sheep :D!!

****************************************
OMG, COULD YOU BELIEVE THE LAST TWO OPPOSING READERS WERE GUYS IN THEIR TWENTIES!!!

****************************************
How shallow. Every single one of them. Period.

Secondly, i read my classmate's blog as well. The first time i read it was a few weeks back. Today i went back to take a look at her archived entries.

Was i taken aback.

Seemingly a jovial, fun-loving lady on the outside; but a disturbed & depressed individual really. Oh dear.

She is the epitome of the modern lady; with, should i say, immense sexual tendencies. *Chuckles* Well, i hope she isn't reading this right now.

Go here to read more.

I guess this most my longest, darnest blog entry in ages. And it does seem a little dark compared to my previous blog entries.

How ironic.

I got to sleep.

I verbally regurgitated on Saturday, October 2, 2004 at 01:06 a.m.

TalkCocking (read: yadda-ing nonsense)

Haha!

Thank god i didn't much screw up today's presentation. Yes, it was LONG (at a whooping 23 slides) but to say the least, i did a decent job right? *whoops for joy*

I saw someone giving me 8 marks out of a possible ten! Thank you Miss Anonymous, wherever you are!

Ah! On the flipside, I fared horribly for my latest Java test. I didn't study much for that leh, so what can i say?

Me (nudging myself): "Say that you a genius loh! Never study still borderline fail only!"

I am a narcissist (read: nar·cis·sism: Excessive love or admiration of oneself) & man, am i proud of it.

So there.

------------------------------------------------------

I am an ardent fan of a certain few blogs, which you should have known by now, are here and here. Um, take awhile to visit them loh. They're pretty well-known ones.

The most popular blogs around i guess, usually dwell on a particular few topics:

1) Political commentaries (usually witty ones at that)
2) Photos, i.e. Photoblogs
3) Sex
4) repeat: "Sex"
I'm not making a stereotypical comment. I just have an observant, keen & acute mind.

Hey! I mean, that's what people are interested about what! (refer to the above topics). Whoever is going to be interested in what goes on in your life!! Bloggers like you & me are just mere figures in the whole blogworld! No one really cares. That's unless you are a celebrity or something; are downright flithy rich and you have people worshipping the ground you walk on! Uh, that's a different story!

I am such an attention-seeker. !! (exclaimations) and all.

But no, i am not going to dwell on sex in my blogs. Ah! I don't have sex-capades nor am i a famous sex guru or whatever! I don't have experience! I am so innocent~ *Can you please imagine the incredulous expressions on my friends' faces*

Aiyoh~ Why am i digressing on a subject like this?

Happy Childrens' Day, to one & all. If you are a child reading this, good for you. If you are not (but essentially a child at heart), let me remind you:

"Tomorrow still have to work."

Wah! TGIF~ =)

I verbally regurgitated on Thursday, September 30, 2004 at 11:49 p.m.

Somebody throw me a life vest

Holy cows.

4 hours and counting to my presentation. And i'm still finalising the crap. Damnit. What if a make a fool of myself in class later? Just imagine:

Me: "Uh...Amazon ah... that one you all should know mah. Um, eh, hor... yah..."

*Lecturer eyes me warily*

Me: "Oh, i didn't write my official 50 page script to read mah. Um, can't blame me right?"

*Lecturer collapses in a dead faint*

I don't want to screw this up and risk my other group mates getting only a mediocre grade.

*Shudders* I need something to stop me stammering.

I verbally regurgitated on Thursday, September 30, 2004 at 11:05 a.m.

不愧是 Miss Blunder

好困阿！

Don't feel like 写-ing any entry leh *嗯*
But then... 要跟莫人说声道歉。对不起~！

今天， in my haste，不小心将你的 laptop plug 拔了出来。

Then you sit there, 哑口无言的。

幸亏文件早 save 了一件。

不然...哈哈... my head sure 滚。

I verbally regurgitated on Wednesday, September 29, 2004 at 10:00 p.m.

Full Moon

"Zhong Qiu Jie falls on the 15th day of the eighth lunar month. It is an occasion for family members to get together over mooncakes, fruits and fine tea and have "moon appreciation" sessions. With its association with mooncakes and lanterns, Zhong Qiu Jie is also called Mooncake Festival or Lantern Festival other then Mid-Autumn Festival." - excerpt from a particular website -

Hello?! Mooncake Festival?
Must it always be the case that a festival be named in accordance with a food item we consume? Or an object we play?

They might as well call it Tea festival. The Chinese always like to wash down their mooncakes with a pot of tea.

May i inform you, especially the ang mos (local slang for caucasians) or others not in the know, that the traditional type of mooncakes are roughly the size of a human palm & filled with lotus seed paste & are of course, SINFULLY FATTENING.

Of course, other creative variations have flooded the market. Snow skin? Ice cream fillings? Plenty.

And not forgetting lanterns. Paper lanterns? Us kids used to stroll with a paper lantern in hand during mid-autumn festival. Yes, MID-AUTUMN festival. Of course, now we get the crap from battery-operated ones too. The ones shaped like Powerpuff Girls, Hello Kitty & the not.

I prefer paper ones. They burn easily.

Ok, here's wishing all - Happy Mid-autumn Festival -

(p.s. To Mark, if you are reading this, please could you be less fussy? Duh, it's merely pens. And please stop telling every girl: "I might just fall in love with you coz you are like so-and-so/dah & dah." Ha. We might get pissed later. Bless you.)

I verbally regurgitated on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 at 10:21 p.m.

<< Bloggies >>

Local weblogs?

Bah!

or here: mrbrown

or here: sarongpartygirl

You've been cautioned =X

I verbally regurgitated on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 at 02:02 a.m.

Darned life

Monday.

Monday is never a good day to start the week. More so if you go for 3.5 hrs of lesson & get incredibly pissed off by the lecturer and many others.

That's what happened to me.

*08:30 am*

He started by lambasting those who didn't participate enough during lessons. You figure, in my school, participation marks account for up to 30% of any student's year end grades. So participate, or risk flunking your course.

Everyone tries to participate actively, and that sometimes leads to a barrage of nonsensical answers, leaving one blur-brained.

I thought i would be better off sourcing help from Google. Anyhows.

He started cold-calling. He hadn't done that in two weeks already. Everyone started getting cold feet, and i heard collective *gasps* and *sighs* in the background.

"XXX!" (clear referrence to me) he blared.

I looked at him dumbfounded. "I don't have any idea! Don't stare at me like an artifact can?" (thought process)
I guess I left him a bad impression when I merely sat there in silence. Wow, what a nice way to start the day. He droned on, and on, and on...

*11:25 am*

He handed us our research papers. Me! XXX. At the border of my paper there were neatly written comments. At the bottom of the page he scrawled a BIG FAT "C+".

At that point in time i almost pelted him with eggs. I stopped short coz eggs are hard to come by these days, and at 50 cents apiece; i cannot afford to keep throwing eggs at old farts like him.

Oh well.

I got out of the class and bumped into my classmate (who was walking back in the opposite direction). We exchanged hellos, and then she asked me how much i got for my paper.

Darn. I spoke the truth.

She waved her paper at me. Gleefully. It was a gleaming "A".

"Guess you could say i was lucky," she brushed it off once sensing my disappointment. "Ha!"

Disappointed? Ha, i was kinda sick & angry.

I left before i blasted the place to bits.

I'll pray for tuesday to be better. Much better.

I verbally regurgitated on Monday, September 27, 2004 at 02:10 p.m.

Amazonian dreams

I realised my previous entries mostly revolved around schoolwork.

I conclude: A student's life is so darned dry. Bleah.

Talking about work, i've yet another presentation to work on. It's on Amazon.com.

I think most of you guys should know who heads Amazon.com right? Ya, Jeff Bezos helms it; just like Tarzan helms the Amazonian Jungle.

Maybe except Jeff is much less muscular and much more brainy to boot. And he doesn't protect his modesty with a mere loincloth.

More about jeff. I mean, can you identify him thru these pictures?

"Bezos! Cut the crap."

*
**
***

It's the third guy. It's a blatant lie if you said you actually knew right? I mean, Amazon.com is plastered all over in the background. Ha.

Plain crap.

I'll never be as rich as him in my lifetime.

And he's too brainy. Way too brainy.

I verbally regurgitated on Sunday, September 26, 2004 at 12:27 p.m.

A Matter of Skills

Just realised i haven't been blogging for 4 days already. Ok, don't stare at me like that. It's merely 4 days, & i'm making it sound like an eon.

But still, i'm so goddamn happy that calendar week 6 has past me by. I mean, i haven't been piled with so much work before, you can't blame me right?

Blame it on the education system.

Oh no no no; i take back my words in case some authority comes a-chasing after me (with a chopper, no less) later.

Eh, my computer is operating so slowly nowadays *Gasp*

Anyhows, i went for a trim today. Haircuts a most major salons start here from S$20 onwards; that applies unless you are a kid hmm?

It was a male hairdresser.

I don't really know why, but i'm compelled to say: Guys make better hairdressers. I don't really know how anyone would agree with me; seriously, that male hairdressers are more attentive. They seem to want to make your visit a more memorable one.

Oh maybe they just provide eye candy for the opposite sex. I'm judging this way coz this guy left me there midway after an elderly lady sort of beckoned him over~

By the way, ever noticed the best cooks in the world are 99% males?

That's just because they have more arm strength to handle the flying woks, saucepans and spatulas. Haha!

Guys, better work on your culinary skills ya? *Wink wink*

I verbally regurgitated on Saturday, September 25, 2004 at 06:45 p.m.

>-- Sighing away --<

Super stressful week. Research paper, then presentation, then test, then the cycle repeats itself again & again & again... wah seh! Going bonkers liao...

*****

Then i realised that after doing so many projects... Uh, i finally see the ugly side of people. Some people want to take charge of everything, some others are super-opinionated, others free-loaders. Sigh. Sometimes you can't help but spot this kinda things, and it makes you really depressed. Sigh. Gotta mug for exam now.

I verbally regurgitated on Tuesday, September 21, 2004 at 09:44 p.m.

The Music Vibes

Only work can explain why i'm still up in the wee hours of dawn...3.05am and counting~ No amount of luck nor coffee would help me now, i can only try my darnest best to finish this crap... crap that i've laid off till now. Yeah yeah, i am a procrastinator. Satisfied? Work doesn't always come naturally to me. I play harder than i study, haha.

Like they say, music is food for the soul. Currently plugged in to:

1)Kings Of Convenience - Man! I've been infatuated with this duo from norway ever so lately. Indie music. One's geeky; the other's a replica of viggo mortensen *Chuckles* Uncanny pairing.

2)Joss Stone - She may be young, but she has found her style -- in soul :)

3)Keane - Brit. Need i say more?

Not forgetting my eternal favorites... Avril Lavigne, Michelle Branch, blah. What would life be without music?

I verbally regurgitated on Monday, September 20, 2004 at 03:05 a.m.

Incredulous

Every other weekend i'll carry out a ritual. A ritual of brain-cleansing, i'll term it, where i literally squeeze my brain dry; sap out every bit of my brain juice till i stand no more. Merely skeletal remains hmm? Every other module calls for presentations, research papers and a mind-bloggling host of other work that i care less to mention. Work. Work. Work. Yesh, i could regurgitate those words for you if you called me too. Wish i could be reading "The Da Vinci Code" by Dan Brown or something instead of poring over the darned online articles.

Work. Work. Work.

My dad announced the other day that he had an invitation to a lunch reception at a posh hotel (shall not mention which). I recieved him with a smirk when i realised, much to my amusement, that it was not a business reception. It was merely an event to mark a colleague's daughter's 21st birthday. Whoa! The extend to which parents go to mark such significant events. I have to beg and save already to get something i fancy. Hmm. This's darn unfair!!! *Humph* I better shut up huh.

--> Check out "Kings of Convenience" - Riot On An Empty Street <-- If ya dig melancholic music. I'm out.

I verbally regurgitated on Sunday, September 19, 2004 at 12:07 p.m.

Keane - Somewhere Only We Know

I am so obsessed with this song~

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

[break]

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

So if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
So why don't we go
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

I verbally regurgitated on Thursday, September 16, 2004 at 01:51 a.m.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S. ended it's local run yesterday. I'm going to miss them all, Rachel, Ross, Phoebe, Joey, Monica, Chandler :(

I verbally regurgitated on Tuesday, September 14, 2004 at 12:36 a.m.

| Thoughts For The Day |

I often wonder to myself how unfair this world is; how some people always seem to be short-changed, whereas others often reap the harvest of success and wealth. Take a minute or two and ponder over it. For me, I never seem to be able to pluck the fruits of luck and success. I mean, look at them! They are looming over me when i can barely reach them on my tipdy-toes :(

Anyways, made the trip down to my YF's hostel today to celebrate her birthday. Guess it was a pleasant surprise when YF opened her room door to find Peg & I standing at the doorway brandishing a fruit cake. Lolz~ Then it was hanging around for some crapping and playing, and lotsa yummylicious cake! Whee!

Currently plugged in to Joss Stone & Keane. Mm. This is like a fad thing for me. I tire of songs easily, yeah, it's like i'll love this song to bits for a week... then laters i'll just junk it aside -Grins- Maybe not Sarah McLachlan's "Fallen". It's a brilliant song. Lyrics especially, a little raw and unnerving. Check it out :)

I verbally regurgitated on Monday, September 13, 2004 at 11:25 p.m.

Orientation~!

SMU students on campus. We're assembled at the upper quad trying to set a new record for the most number of people linked together. Hey! It's a heart formation. Chuckles :D

I verbally regurgitated on Saturday, September 11, 2004 at 02:32 p.m.

Empty Wishes Fall Flat

Whew. Friday. TGIF! Been in school for a staggering 4 weeks already. 4 weeks equates to a month. What an achievement in itself. Well, the Java crap, research papers & presentations are all giving me headaches. For now, i'll draw up a wishlist of what i'm seriously yearning to do:

1)Listen to Switchfoot's Dare You To Move, Keane's Somewhere Only We Know & Joss Stone's music whilst lazying in a comfy spot all day long.

2)Watching movies & going out...

3)Having absolutely nothing to do at all. I repeat, stoning is good for health~

Hallucinating yet again. Geez. Anyways, i got a CD of photos from my uni orientation (much thanks elvis). Laters. Maybe i'll upload some. Gotta watch telly now. Keeps me intellectually engaged, ya :) I'm out.

I verbally regurgitated on Friday, September 10, 2004 at 07:11 p.m.

Man On Fire - I'll give it 3.5 popcorns outta 5 :)

"Creasy (Denzel Washington, as stoic and rigid as ever) is a retired Marine haunted by his violent past and unable to bring his life together. He reluctantly accepts a job down in Mexico as a bodyguard to a young girl called Pita (Dakota Fanning, putting a brake on her newfound smarm). Creasy tries to keep a professional distance between himself and Pita, but they soon become friends; Creasy even taking the place of her business-obsessed parents (Radha Mitchell and Marc Anthony) on occasion. When thugs kidnap Pita, Creasy is wounded in the firefight to save her, and when he emerges from the hospital (with help from Christopher Walken), he sets out to kill every last individual associated with Pita's abduction." - imdb.com

I caught the preview of Man On Fire. It's not one of the most exciting Denzel Washington flicks yet, but this movie sure kicks ass. Literally. There was this memorable scene where he taped the kidnapper's fingers to the steering wheel and then proceeded to slice them off whenever the bad guy couldn't give him the answers he wanted. Luckily Creasy still had the decency to cauterize the man's fingers by burning the wounds with a car cigarette lighter. Freaky. Creasy was really bent on wreaking vengence, and he got his way.

Sometimes watching movies like this sure takes your mind off a lot of crap. I admit i am talking about schoolwork. *Chuckles* We're all stressed out here. Just look for alternative avenues to release the pain :)

I'm OUTTA here~

I verbally regurgitated on Wednesday, September 8, 2004 at 05:19 p.m.

Trouble :(

I got a headache.
Screwed up my computer, seriously.
There's the rundll32.exe error that keeps reappearing.
Can't do a proper shutdown.
And i think there's a trojan virus too!
God~
Does that mean i've to reinstall my OS to do a repair?
The online guides say that problems might have arisen due to installment of programs. You know, lacking this file or another.
Wateva.
What a darned life.
I never seem to have luck with anything.

I verbally regurgitated on Sunday, September 5, 2004 at 12:42 a.m.

Problem + Problem = Chaos

So sick. My notebook i mean. There's seems to be an internal component that's gone haywire, something that an ignorant person like me can't explain. What's wrong? I wish my notebook could communicate with me... ya know... tell me, i don't have to format it within, what, a mere week of purcahsing it? *Gasps* I must be too violent with my computer. Haha.

I feel rather distracted lately. Can't really focus on something that i wish to achieve... be it projects, presenations, etc. Still in the holiday mood, i'd term it. What to do?

Ah, Lime mag has this promo going on. Free monk bags. Yesh. Check it out :)

I'm in out!

I verbally regurgitated on Thursday, September 2, 2004 at 11:32 p.m.

Confused Identities

It is wonderous to me how the little conversations we engage in in our daily lives often lead us to reflect on ourselves as a person. All the more so with the influx of modern day tech wizardry. Yes, your instant messaging services & the not.

Just the other day, i was speaking to someone thru msn messenger. It was all about schoolwork & humour when suddenly he stopped dead in his tracks and remarked:

"You are different in here (msn) as compared to what you are in school."

"Yeah, I present different sides to different people ya know? In different environments, i behave differently," I replied.

He started, "Oh. For me...you see the outgoing & confident me sometimes. Other times i'm just unconfident.It's like putting on a mask whenever i'm in school."

It left me a little startled, but it got me thinking too. After all, he seemed to be a gregarious young man, basking in the company of others. But he too felt his insecurities. He was particularly confused over his identity, pondering over his assumed "mask". Couldn't decide if it was the real him we always see in school, or the mixed-up person he so claimed his alter-ego.

I did self-reflection too. In retrospect, i was so darned quiet back then in primary school, sticking to merely my close girl pals, & living my life as a pushover. Over the years, i learnt to open up & accept others in my life & engaged more so with the community. But still i realised, like my friend, that i couldn't decide for what's worth, what i really wanted to be. What image do i want to reflect? How do i want to be etched in peoples' minds? I guess only time will have the answer. Just like the butterfly, one day we'll emerge from the cocoon and set free.

I verbally regurgitated on Thursday, September 2, 2004 at 10:39 a.m.

:: My dream? To hit a thousand page views. Haha. Thanks for doing your part in trying to help me attain it.

Alias

Minuscule Me

It's Not History

:: welcome in