Sandwiches: MOE's Hungry Blog

Sunday, April 6, 2003
02:11 p.m.

My right eye hurts. It's all puffy and it hurts to close it too hard. It's been like this for the last three days. Blarg. It's times like these where I wish I lived in another dimension, where I would have super powers and whatnot.

I gave my sister her birthday present today. I got her that new Linkin Park CD and some Tea Party CD. Why so early? Because she's been wanting them for a while now, and she might get someone else to get it for her later. Then I wouldn't have any ideas for gifts.

I hate school. Bleh.

I like pizza though. It's yummy.

Thursday, April 3, 2003
08:16 p.m.

Argh. Do I feel sick. Must have been something I ate. Aahhg. I hope I don't have some weird throwing up spell again. The previous one was entirely unpleasant. And extremely disgusting.

Freezing rain is heavenly. Today, I was worried that I'd have to go to school, but lo and behold, buses were canceled! That meant that there would be little to no people at school, which generally means no school at all!@# Hooray. So I spent my day loafing about. I probably should have been doing my English, but I'm lazy as hell. I still need to write my second letter. Freaking Joy.

I'm bored. You know what that means? *whips out a pistol* Dance fools! Dance! *gun clicks* ...Empty. Oh well, more quizes then! *froth froth*


Take the Affliction Test Today!

The hell?!@# The last time I took this test, I was rickets. You know, warping bones and all that! This sucks.


Which Evil Criminal are You?

Last time I took this test, I was Jack the Ripper. I have no clue who this lady is, aside from the little blurb they decided to include. Let me share:

Congratulations, you're Elizabeth Bathory!

Hailing from sunny Transylvania, your first blood-related incident was when you stabbed a servant girl in the face with a pair of scissors for underperforming. Some of the red spray landed on your hands, and as you washed it off, you noticed that it left your skin fresh and young looking. From then on you were convinced that the blood of young girls was the secret to eternal youth.

Rather than killing girls outright by stabbing them or slitting their throats, you enjoy torturing them for weeks on end by pricking them with needles or prodding with sharp spikes - all to bathe in their blood. You've killed over six hundred women, all without raising a peep from the authorities.

I think I liked being Jack the Ripper better. I mean, I don't even care about skin care... right now.


How dumb are you?

Durr... Yay!@#

I took some other quizes too, but I don't want to clutter this place up too much. Let me just say that if I was a genocidal maniac, I'd be Saddam Hussein... er, yay? And why doesn't that little picture work for that previous quiz?

Wednesday, April 2, 2003
10:11 p.m.

I've been meaning to update, but since I'm a lazy butt, I didn't. Smerf. Now I have a lot of stuff to talk about. Bluh.

Sunday was fun. I went to Jack Astor's to celebrate Tim's birthday with a bunch of you guys. I ate myself to the point of near explosion, but sadly, I didn't explode. It was rather dissapointing really. Oh well, the food was still good, and it was fun!

Yesterday wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I mean, the prospect of a 'Pick on MOE Day' as well as an 'April Fools Day' combined was utterly terrifying. Yes, TERRIFYING... well, maybe I was exaggerating. More like horrifying.

Ayway, the day started... oddly. It seemed like any other day. My sister and I left home at 8:40 ish to catch the bus, when it wasn't there! We are on the first stop, and usually the bus is idling at the intersection slightly farther ahead than the bus stop, but today it wasn't there at all. My sister and I continued, seeing as how there was still someone waiting at the bus stop. So we walked to the bus stop, and the three of us waited before being joined by another person, Sam Kwok, who lived right next to the bus stop. We waited impatiently for ten minutes or so before being invited to wait in Sam's garage, so we didn't have to wait in the snow.

So there we were, four slightly wet kids waiting for a bus that was already twenty minutes late, when finally, the first girl decided to go home, since she can sort of get away with not going to school. The rest of us waited in the garage for another five minutes before being offered a ride from Sam's mother. My sister and I accepted and we all crawled in. We just backed out of the driveway when the bus arrived thirty minutes late. We all sort of groaned but got out of the car and into the bus anyway.

And although I should have been slightly irritated that I had to wait, I was insanely gleeful. I was practically beaming on the bus at anything and everything. If my heart was anthropomorphic, it would have danced and sang from the highest mountain top in pure joy. I suppose it's because snow makes me giddy. Anyway, I got to school late.

Pick on MOE Day wasn't particularly pick-on-MOE-ish. In fact there was no element of April Fools in it at all. Aside from KT's really gentle poke on the bus, Joan was the only one who did anything. And while the pokes Joan gave me were REALLY painful, they weren't to bad. Huzzah!@#

The highlight of today was that I had to finish my sketchbook assignment. It's been due since Monday, but fortunately for me, she hasn't asked for it yet. Phew. And plushy fur is really hard to draw. I think I'll die now.

After looking at the other results for that Disorder quiz, I feel horribly sane. How...dissapointing.

And I leave you with this quiz result.


you are "shonen". all male. all the time.
(if you're a girl and you got this i suggest
you get some estrogen).

What type of manga are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hmm... Jessica may have been on to something... O_o. Help.

Sunday, March 30, 2003
04:46 p.m.

Take the What High School Stereotype Are You? quiz, by Angel.

You are Fascist

What: Fascism

Where: At the distant bottom-right of the politcal spectrum

How: Fascism supports total civil opression, particularly for minorities, who were prosecuted. However, it does open up to a free market. It has been attempted and failed in countries including Italy, and socialist version of it called Nazism was tried in Germany.

What political extremity are you?

Friday, March 28, 2003
07:49 p.m.

Today I went on a French field trip to watch a French movie. That should have been my first indication that it would be a crazy odd trip, but noooo... I didn't realize it until it was much too late.

I boarded the bus 31 other students at around 11:00, and we were on our way. The only interesting thing about the trip was that some of the girls were yelling out the window to guys out on the street. After about half an hour, we arrived at the TVO building. Apparently, there's a theatre in the same building. The learning never stops during field trips! So anyways, we all lined up to recieve our tickets from the teacher and to get into the theatre. We all scrambled in, only to wait another ten or twenty minutes to get seated. The movie itself was weird. It was about a bunch of thieves from France who was sent to Canada to keep an eye on their boss' girlfriend, but on the way, they delayed a group of assassins, and ended up taking their job because the employer didn't know what the real assassins looked like.

They were supposed to kill some rich lady while she was at some wilderness survival marathon race thing, and they were going to pose as her team mates. Hilarity ensues as they have no idea what to do, and they don't have the guts to kill her. The assassins and their employer then realize that they'd been swindled, and they try to get there money back and to kill our... erm... "heroes". French movies are weird.

Anyway, after the movie, we went to eat at the Mandarin. I ate a lot of chinese food. I never get to eat chinese food. Yay. After we finished our meal, there was still an hour and a half until the bus arrived, so the teachers said that we could roam the building, seeing as how there were stores. Well, it turned out that the 'stores' consisted of a convienience store, a dry cleaners, and a florist. The rest of the building was offices. Some people contented temselves with going up and down the elevators. They went insanely fast. I think I shrunk from going up.

After a while, however, the teachers said that we could go to the mall that was nearby. We did a quick head count when (shock! horror!) three people were missing. After a quick survey, it turned out that they were still going up and down in the elevators. Now the typical teacher response would be to wait for them, but no, we left them behind in the building with no knowledge as to what the rest of us were doing. I find that slightly... odd.

So we arrived in the other mall, and it was 3:55, which meant the bus would pick us up in thirty five minutes. The teacher told us that we could that we could take a quick look around, and she ran out of the HMV to find a clothes store. Aky and I frantically searched for the Indigo, and when we found it on the map, we hopped on the nearest escaltor. Turns out, we hopped on the wrong one. The one we went on when up two stories, much to my puzzlement, but fortunately Indigo is two stories tall anyway. We browsed quickly, and then ran out because we didn't know when we were supposed to meet at HMV again. We returned to HMV soon after, and no one else was there so we looked at the cute kitties and other animals in the pet store. Aky went to Lewiscraft with Andrea, so I took this opurtunity to call my sister to bug her. When I came back, they were GONE! *gasp*

I waited at HMV however, since that was were we were supposed to meet, and slowly but surely, some people trickled back. The teachers soon followed, but (shock! horror!) only twelve of us were there! What happened to the rest of the group? Were they devoured by some horrible beast? Mayhaps they were caught in a dimensional rift while bravely returning to our meetinmg point! Anyway, the teachers decided that one would take us back to the Mandarin, while the other would wait for the rest of the students. I went back with the group, and, lo and behold, everyone was there! All except two girls that were still missing in the mall. The rest of us had to wait for about ten minutes for the rest of them to catch up. However, we were all together once again, and all we had to do was board the stupid bus. The groups just stood there for a minute, when the bus drove past! The bus obivously couldn't stop because it would obstruct traffic, so it had to find a place to stop. Coincidentally, ther just HAD to be a red light at the exact moment... and we were at the intersection... Hmmm... Gasp! Idea!

Like mad thieves making a getaway, all thirty two students boarded the bus in a mad frenzy before the light turned green, which was when the teachers got in. The bus took off, and I giggled at the absurdity of the whole thing. We must have looked ridiculous.

Oh, but the fun doesn't stop there! I wasn't paying much attention, but apparently someone bought a fish, and the bag was leaking, so what did they do? Those geniouses put the fish into a bottle! This was the most poorly concieved field trip EVAR!

Oh, and there was a guy yelling on the street today. More like wailing. I don't know why.

Thursday, March 27, 2003
10:57 p.m.

I'm sleepy. I think I'll lay waste to all the lowly mortals who dare... I mean... I think I'll go to bed a bit early. Yeah. That's it.

I don't really have anything to say. I broke my retainer last Tuesday. Whoops. I had to get it fixed yesterday, so I went to Market Village with dad to get it fixed. Now it feels all funny, and it hurts. I wore it today, and it re-aligned some of my teeth. I was a bit worried so I took it out. Everything's normal now... I hope. It better be. I risked exposure to SARS in Market Village to get the thing fixed. Oddly enough, my dad had a bit of difficulty finding parking. Obviously there are a lot of people who still go to places like Pacific Mall regardless of the life threatening diseases they may or may not catch there.

Art class is FUN! We're making clay masks. I am insanely pleased with how mine is turning out. It looks like a demonic goblin, and is turning out every way I hoped it would. I love it to DEATH. Of course, I don't really know much about clay, so I wouldn't be surprised if it turned out that I left air bubbles in the clay, so my mask exploded in the kiln. Or maybe the nose on my mask will fall off. Or maybe, if I'm really lucky, the only the nose will have air bubbles in it, so the nose will explode on the face, leaving jagged scars.... hee hee hee...

Oh, and B, Aky? Homestarrunner does rock. Too bad my computer sucks.

Monday, March 24, 2003
09:41 p.m.

I don't feel too good. My heart and stomach hurts. You know, that dull stabbing pain? Yeah, one of those. It's a pain EXPLOSION. I think I'm dying... or being far too dramatic. Eh. Either or.

School is really bleh. It's always been bleh, but now it's ULTRA bleh. I wish I lived in a dimension that was all fantasy like, with dragons and such. That way, it would not only be plausible that I could have superpowers, but EXPECTED. Then again, I wouldn't have my videogames...

I have made a life changing career decision. I want to be a pirate when I grow up. Not some boring software pirate, but one that actually goes around stealing gold and stuff, in an AIRSHIP. I'll be a SKY pirate. Of course, I was inspired by Johnny, May, and Dizzy from GGX. I'll be all chivalrous like, stealing from the rich and giving to the poor, zooming about on my plane-like vessel. The only downside is that it requires physical effort and I also dislike flying in planes because they combine two of my fears (claustrophobia and vertigo! Yay!).

My leg was just twitching. Not the whole leg mind you, just one part on my thigh. It's not that it hasn't happened before, but now I'm just getting worried about my health. Hm.

I was just reading fanfiction at Fanfiction.net. There's a lot of good stuff there, but there has to be hundreds of bad 'fics for every good one. One thing that bothers me is that there HAS to be romance in every story. People, eight-year-old kids and younger aren't really into that stuff yet. And if you must make a self-inserted character, don't make them amazingly powerful please, and don't give them cheesy magical sounding names, cheesy dark/mysterious sounding names, or names that are similar to your own. And Grammar, people! Paragraphs would be lovely! Spelling too! 'Eternity' is not spelt 'enturnity'! Blarg!@#$! *explode**splat*

...Yeah. That is all.

Friday, March 21, 2003
10:42 p.m.

Explosion has to be one of the most fun words. Just adding it to the end of a word or sentence makes it that much more interesting. If it's in caps, well then, all the better. Why just have a group of PACErs, when you can have a PACEr EXPLOSION? Or why bother saying that you have a lot of homework when a homework EXPLOSION sounds more exciting?

On a different note, how cool would life be if it was a cartoon? I mean, it would guarantee that crazy crap would occur on a regular basis, the laws of physics wouldn't necessarily apply anymore, and no matter how bad a situation, everything will end in the status quo at the end of each 'episode', making us immortal and perpetually youthful. Except for Anime. Poeple actually die in those ones.

A guy on behalf of RCC came today to talk about why we should go to that college. I have decided to take his advice and plan out my future. I have everything set, and if I follow through, I will be stinking rich. However, I am missing several key components. I still need to find a genie, a death ray, a vial of some experimental chemical that I will 'accidentally' spill all over myself, thus giving me super powers, and a small pineapple in the shape of a banana.

Wednesday, March 19, 2003
09:25 p.m.

I have even more appreciation for my dad now. I mean, how many dads let you poke at their three-day-old beard stubble at the dinner table? While he's eating?

A motivational speaker came today. While it was amusing, I don't feel particulary motivated. I feel as lazy and dumb as ever. Huzzah!

I think I had something to say, but I forgot, so I guess I should say something reassuring and insightful in light of the recent events occuring in the more troubled parts of the world.

...*Belch*

Tuesday, March 18, 2003
09:13 p.m.

When I started this blog, it didn’t occur to me how many people were actually going to read it. Maybe one? Two at most. Then, when people started talking about the PACEr action figures, and I realised that more people are reading my blog than I originally thought. Hmm… *Screams* Eek! Stalkers! *Shrieks shrilly*

…Oh well. I suppose it just means that I couldn’t put anything too incriminating up…

You know what’s weird? Cartoons that depict animals as sentient beings to replace humans. You know, shows like Arthur. Isn’t anyone else disturbed by these shows? I mean, they’re animals. Do pets work with a concept like that? What if that janitor in Arthur got a pet dog? How weird would that be? It’s like us having a miniature human who isn’t sentient as a pet. A NAKED little human. And when they take baths, to they need to use shampoo all the time? And why do some of them have hair, while some don’t? I mean, can you imagine a monkey like Francine in real life? A monkey with a wig? And what is Binky? Is he a dog? Would cross species marriages work?

I have too much time on my hands.

Monday, March 17, 2003
10:13 p.m.

I have noticed, with great interest, that PACE fanaticism has grown exponentially over the last few years, especially with the introduction of PACE exclusive concepts like websites and businesses. I have noticed this and wondered how the class would react if one of us died, and when I asked people, I was met with varying answers. However, it was from this chain of thought that a new notion would arrive.

The PACE Crypt.

A morbid thought, I know, but why not take this to a new extreme, death? I have it all planned out. A four-story stone-ish building with big copper entrance doors. A seal will be placed after the last one of us has kicked the bucket, and a plaque will be put up telling of a curse that will kill anyone who dares disturb our rest, through poisoning (PACE style), or diarrhea at the most inconvenient times (as suggested by B).

In the entrance area, a copper relief will be placed opposite of the entrance. The “lobby”, if you will, will also have statues and paintings and all sorts of crazy crap like that. Yep. Paintings of us, doing PACE like activities. You can imagine how dignified we would look. As for the actual tomb area, I think that a simple hallway will work best, with the little tombs branching off of one main hall. Each tomb will have a large copper door. On each door will be a Crest that the PACEr will make up for themselves, their name, and maybe some other crazy crud, like a picture of themselves doing something funky. A big stone coffin in the middle of the room, a la thing in LoTR, with other stuff surrounding it. A metal spiral staircase will be placed at the end of each hall to get from floor to floor. You know, the thin spindly type you see in horror movies.

And stained glass windows. We need plenty of those. I’d put them all over the place if I could, but it would be disturbing to have them in the same room as the actually body. Kind of creepy, ya know. Not like a mass grave thing.

Yep. A PACE Crypt. I would have preferred the term ‘Mausoleum’ but Joan insists. What an attractive concept. Joan, B, and I shared this idea with Jessica. She called us freaks. Freaks Jessica? Freaks indeed.

On a completely unrelated note, I was watching TV when I stumbled across an episode of The Justice League. I wouldn’t have cared much, but they were fighting a robot that I found vaguely familiar. Imagine my surprise when my sister commented on how it looked like an EVA from Neon Genesis Evangelion. And it DID look like one! Only fatter! And more green! They ripped off the coolest organic battling mechas ever! I am shaking with anger! *shake*

Saturday, March 15, 2003
06:20 p.m.

My sister invited her friends over for what they call an "Anime Picnic", which I find most odd because there is no picnic portion to their get together, besides the cookies and jello. Anyway, right now, they're downstairs conspiring on what to eat, in their odd teen ways. Tsk Tsk.

At this moment so of you might say, "But MOE! No one's supposed to be at your house! It's the house of mystery!", and to that, I say, "Verily so!". My sister has far less restraint in keeping our house mysterious, so every now and then, intruders slip through our defenses, our defenses being the three locks we have on our door. No, we are not paranoid.

Anyway, this March break has been rather dull. Not much happened, but I do want a rocking chair now. Not one of those new fangled ones from IKEA, either. I'm talking about the good old-fashioned granny rocking chairs. Why do I want one? Just so that I can sit in it and cackle all day, everyday, rocking back and forth in a senile fashion.

Also, I think my dad is really cool. I don't know about you, but my dad and I joked over our deaths, and how we can claim our life insurance when we kick the bucket. Quoth my father, "And now you can drive over Niagra Falls!" Remember when I was sick and described it in vivid detail? My dad actually stayed up with me from 1 am to 5 am, gave me medecine, and bought me food to help settle my stomach later when he really didn't have to. MY DAD IS TEH BEST DAD EVAR!!!!!1

Wednesday, March 12, 2003
08:07 p.m.

Gentlemen and gentleladies of the Internet, I have something peculiar I wish to share with you about myself. It is something that I have known for awhile yet never had the means with which to share with everyone, until now. Without further ado, I would like to share my conclusion.

I, MOE Madeuplastname, am not proportioned properly, in the sense that my right limbs are slighty longer than those on the left.

Shocking, I know.

How did I come to this conclusion? I don't remember the exact year, but one day, I noticed that when I put all my weight on my right leg, and stood straight, I was marginally taller than if I did the same on my left leg, or on both for that matter. A most curious thing. I performed this strange anomaly in front of friends and classmates, only to be told that, indeed, I was taller when I stood on my right leg only.

However, there is more. One day, as I was taking a shower, I attempted to reach the ceiling. I noticed casually that when I reached with my right arm, my fingertips would graze the ceiling. I attempted the same with my left arm. To my surprise, I couldn't reach the ceiling without tippy-toeing. I frowned, and dismissed it because while reaching with my right arm, I may have been standing on my longer right leg. I performed my little experiment again, this time, planting both feet firmly on the ground. I recieved the same results.

After finishing my shower, I approached my sister, stuck my arms out, and asked her if my right arm was longer. My sister stood there, and stared at me as if I was a moron (which I probably am)and eventually humoured me. She pulled my arms so that they would meet directly in front of me, and pulled them to their full length. My right arm was half a centimetre longer.

And so you have it, kind people of the internet. This blog belongs to an unproportioned schoolgirl. Granted, I do not walk about with a lumbering gait like Quasimodo, but I felt like sharing my little quirk.

And in regards to my former blog entry, I was in a bad mood, but I have an addictive personality, and the PACE class is like a DRUG, poisoning the teachers and making people like me junkies. Darn you all! Darn you all to Heck! Rar.

Monday, March 10, 2003
11:23 p.m.

I am a fool for believing that things will never change. Look at the world. Look at all this [crap] the world is in. I sat by idly and thought that it wouldn't effect me. Oh no! I was just a kid living somewhere in Canada! All the bad stuff happens far away from me!

I am ignorant. I entertained myself with games and stories while the world went to [heck]. I was so caught up in my own little world that I didn't notice that, yeah, things change with or without you. The saddest part is I'll probably go back to my little niche and continue to be ignorant.

I am naive. I thought that The world wouldn't change. Not the world, so much as my own little habitat. I would go to school, and everyone I know will be there. We will co to class, and listen to the teacher and make them sick. But everything will be alright in the end!

I am all these things and more. I guess this is partly due to the PACE class. We've been together for years. I've gained a taste for stability. The PACE class is, and always will be around me. We'll open up a PACE owned company, on some PACE owned Island, and we'll always have fun, and goof off together.

Like Hell.

This is a stretch from my usual blog entries, but I'll probably write something funny and stupid later in the week. I'm asking anyone who reads this, please, PLEASE don't change. Life is already crap, we don't need anymore of this.

Sunday, March 9, 2003
06:45 p.m.

Alright. I, obviously, archived my blog because my Fancy demanded it. And I fear to anger my Fancy, for it may do me great harm. Also, it was getting long since I started updating my blog everyday. It didn't help that I added really long and stupid entries, but blah. Now the hideousness that is my first few blog entries will be enshrined forever.

Anyways, I was watching TV today with rapt facination when the commercials began. I tuned out, but one particular commercial caught my eye, it was for those Mary Kate and Ashley dolls.

Now I'm sure you're all familiar with these dolls, but, because I'm so slow, I just noticed what a strange concept those dolls are. First off, why do we even need dolls of people who exist in real life? Isn't it creepy how when you're combing its hair, it's as if you were combing the hair of a real person? I don't know about you, but I wouldn't feel comfortable if I knew that somewhere out in the world, there may be some kid combing to hair of an effigy of myself, with a crazed smile on his or her face.

Secondly, what's wrong with Barbie? Personally, I don't like playing with dolls, but if I did, I would rather play with a Barbie. I mean, how cool is she? With all those jobs and other crazy crap, she HAS to be crazy (multiple personalties! And thinks she's Mermaid! And a variety of princesses!). Plus, she has ethnically diverse friends, can raise her sisters on her own, despite the fact that they keep coming. Yup.

But lets humour them, and pretend that those problems don't exist, they still have to answer why they need two dolls. Yes, I know one is supposed to be Mary Kate, and the other Ashley, but they look exactly the same, do they need to specify? The only diffence between the two dolls is that one smiles with her teeth open while the other doesn't. I'm sure any kid can have one and pretend that they have both. The only point in having two would be if you wanted the dolls to interact with each other, but still, what's the point if you have two dolls that are identical?

Now PACEr action figures? Those would ROCK. When I open my company on PACEr Island, Those dolls will be the first thing I make. Sure they won't sell like mad, but they would be so cool. Each one can have a recorded message that is really long and loud, and a special disease rubbed on them to simulate the PACE effect on teachers. They'll even have Kung Fu action, and life-like hair!