We were all sitting around talking last week about holidays etc and it occurred to me that I havent had a decent holiday since May 2001 when I came to visit Glen in Melbourne, which started off this entire moving thing to Melbourne! So, of course I have done a lot since then and I'm going a bit spastic and nutso because of it, so GLen and I booked a cottage in the Yarra Ranges for three nights next week! Woo! And you know, it's going to cost so little, I nearly fell off my chair when the guy told me how much! And, to top it off, he sounds so much like that guy who owns the farm in Malcolm in the Middle! His name is Guenther!

So, Glen and I are going away for a well deserved break, doing nothing, catching some sleep, taking in some fresh air and quietness. I can't wait!

It's a fairly simple sort of place, but i love that I probably won't see any other people close by! Woo! Check it ou. http://babs.com.au/gundalee/index.htm

Which John Cusack Are You?

Melbourne has become a cold, bitter, windy place this winter. Although it's taken its time coming, the winter wind is rather biting, it cuts right through me on some days! I work in the city and the street I work on is notorious for being cold and sunless and very windy, on occasion.

For the last few months, I have been seeing this woman sitting by herself in various locations around the area. She has one of those signs, like "Homeless, 1 dependent, no food, please help". I'm normally pretty reluctant to help people by giving money, because of the stigma involved and the disapproving response from those around me. This is a really silly reason, but I know it's valid. Yesterday, I saw her again, sitting on a bus seat, shivering and looking very down and hungry. I thought long and hard whilst ordering my shepherd's pie before I ordered the second one. I took it out to her and gave it to her and told her to take care. I felt so bad for her. She's a mess, but food is always better than giving money. It's more personal, I reckon.

It's amazing that there is such a distance placed between society and those less fortunate. Not to say that these people aren't a part of society, but to make the distinction, they are homeless in most cases and the rest aren't. When did we, as a human race, get so cynical, careless and unfeeling? Have we been jaded by those who present as homeless, but are in fact, con people and drug addicts? I'm inclined to believe this.

Anyways, I feel good about what I did and I don't think I care a rats what others think, particularly those I don't know.

You know, my 27th birthday is coming up on Saturday and I'm not the slightest bit excited? I'm so hopefully outside myself right now, I don't know where I am at the moment. I am lost, yet I am in the same place I have always been.

So much has plagued my mind recently, money, future, career. It's all weighing my mind down. I guess it's haunting my dreams, because it's Thursday and for every night this week, I have woken th enext morning to recount a very vivid dream I had which relates to one of my concerns.

I just feel life changing around me and part of me wants to change with it, and the other half wants it to be the way I am comfortable with. The biggest issue for me now is knowing that if I want to change my life, I have to consider Glen now. I have to discuss it with him and it all has to be ok with him before I can go on. I am not resenting this factor, but it's an extra set of steps I now have to progress through before I can start changing a few things, because it will directly affect him.

I just feel like I am watching life go past. I feel like I am not thinking properly, I am not saying the right things and I am certainly not feeling myself.