My life has been ruled by frustrating things. I'm frustrated by the debt I am in, I'm frustrated that I don't own my own car, let alone my own home. I'm frustrated that I'm going to the gym, but it doesn't appear to be working well enough! I'm frustrated that I can't get past a certain point on this pants pattern I am making for myself!
Is life just one whole lot of frustration rolled together to send you insane??
Yesterday, minding my own business, listening to my music and eager to get home, I was walking home from the train station and fast approaching, an obviously older man who wasn't walking as fast as I was. From a distance, he had a cane, on closer inspection and as I was passing, it was a fancing stick, but not a walking stick.
This wasn't the upsetting thing. What got me more than anything else was his scared look on his face as I walk around him on the grass. He stopped dead in his tracks and swiftly turned around (as swift as someone of that age bracket can), ready for me, should I attack. At least, that's what it seemed like. I tried hard to ignore his frightened look and simply said hello and kept walking.
In reflection, I wasn't walking that fast and I don't think my footsteps sounded that alarming. So, why was this man frightened? He wielded his stick, ready for a fight. Now, I live in one of the nicest suburbs in Melbourne - well, I think I do anyway! We picked this suburb because we felt it was relatively safe and secure. Now, I'm starting to wonder what the old man knows, that I don't.
I was greeted by this song this morning as I emerged from the train station at Parliament Station. One single woman, handing out flyers to a Valentine's Day Peace Protest on Friday.
She got a few chuckles from early morning commuters, who loved her little dance she gave as she sang the song.
The lengths to which people will go to get your attention is amazing.
I admired her.
WHY??
I spent the entire weekend as sick as a dog. I have never been so sick before and I shall never eat hot dogs from Safeway again.
Not just droplets, but big enough to see splatter on the ground. I love how they are so relaxing when they hit your face and cool you down. For this reason, I loved yesterday afternoon - just as I was getting off the train to walk home, the rain hit. It was beautiful. I loved the idea of getting out my umbrella and walking home in the rain. I loved the huge droplets that I could hear splattering on my umbrella and the cool breeze which accompanied the rain. It was soothing and relaxing.
When I got home, I looked out the windows and again the rain came down. It was that nice rain that came in on an angle, hitting the window and leaving big sloppy rain drops all over the window.
You know what else I love about rain? The smell. The fresh, cleansing smell. Is there anything you can compare it to? Never. But it's right up there with the smell of freshly cut grass.
It's heaven. Pure. Exquisite. Lovely.
Human kindness is inspiring, it leaves a warm spot in my heart and makes me feel like an utterly decrepid human being. Sure, I give money to some homeless people - there's this lady who I always give money to, and gave her more at Christmas time, but I dont offer anyone a meal. I think I'm mostly afraid of the ridicule, the disapproving looks and the lecture I might get.
However, yestreday I was truly inspired. With all the crap happening in the world right now, it's nice to see people aren't as selfish as I first assumed.
I got a call today to say my glasses had arrived - about time! So I rushed down to get them and couldn't believe how clear the world was. I just remember thinking how clearer and crisper everything seemed. It was great. But still, my eyes are suffering and still, I suffer headaches. I can't win, but perhaps it will get better in a few days.
