Bella died 3 minutes ago. I'm so sad. Can't imagine going home on Friday now.

Some of you might have already seen what I had written earlier, some might not have. Regardless, for some reason I didn't really feel like being one of those people who was fired for her blog because she spoke about work. So I am going to bite my tongue about anything that really occurs at work which may be misconstrued as negative. sorry guys, but you know how it goes. Poor Dooce and Sarcastic Journalist fell victim to such activities and I think I'll learn my lesson from them

Anyways, Christmas shopping is done. Christmas shopping for Sam, bought by Sam - done. Yesterday was a good day. Scoped out a new shopping cnetre and got four pieces of clothign for less than $80! Also got a pair of slip on sandals for my fat feet. Today, bought a lovely stainless steel wok for Glen and I - marked down by 30% more than we realised. Our other one died. Crappy thing. Don't buy teflon! It's crap. As soon as it starts flaking you've gotta get rid of it.

2 1/2 more days of work. Righteous. I can't believe it's Christmas on Saturday. That on Friday, we're flying out for Bumfucksville for a week. My mother is excited. I will be too once work finishes. It's going to be so busy and retched. It's hard to think about relaxing. I can't. It'd be nicer if work was less of a challenge right now. I wish I understood the business far better than I do right now. I know it comes with time, but with the amount of work we have going, I feel like the 5th wheel at times, trying to speak convincingly about concepts etc that I don't have a clue about

I think I need a bath. To clear my head. To relax. Chill out. Maybe I'll get my suitcase out, maybe then it'll feel more like I'm going on holiday soon.

BElieve me, I'm not as depressed, overworked or flat as I sound. Right now I am jsut tired and weary. Not too shabby really.

My achievements today:

1. Stayed alive on the ride to work - not that it's difficult, but noteworthy
2. Editted a 70 page document to ensure there were two spaces, not one after the full stop mark - trust me, eye-crossing work!
3. 20 seconds for lunch and 40 to pee - yes, my OCD continues with the toilets, but I have no option
4. Completed a document for final review
5. Organised work for Sunday to ensure deadline for Wednesday is met
6. Rescheduled my urgent doctor's appointment for the third time
7. Saw sunshine for a sum total of 30 minutes - not all at once!
8. Ate Thai for like the 20th time this month!
9. Yawned 293 times
10. Drank 3.3litres of coke and ate as much cookies in kgs
11. Made someone's day by sending them a copy of a classic. ;)
12. Finished this entry, thereby stemming the flow of your boredom
    

    Priceless.

My achievements today:

1. Stayed alive on the ride to work - not that it's difficult, but noteworthy
2. Editted a 70 page document to ensure there were two spaces, not one after the full stop mark - trust me, eye-crossing work!
3. 20 seconds for lunch and 40 to pee - yes, my OCD continues with the toilets, but I have no option
4. Completed a document for final review
5. Organised work for Sunday to ensure deadline for Wednesday is met
6. Rescheduled my urgent doctor's appointment for the third time
7. Saw sunshine for a sum total of 30 minutes - not all at once!
8. Ate Thai for like the 20th time this month!
9. Yawned 293 times
10. Drank 3.3litres of coke and ate as much cookies in kgs
11. Made someone's day by sending them a copy of a classic. ;)
12. Finished this entry, thereby stemming the flow of your boredom
    

    Priceless.

Reminds me of a song - "Ooooh, what a night!"...Doo doo doooo ddoooo!

Anyways. It has been a day and a half. One tender done, two more to go before I can head off into the sunset that is the stinky hell of Bum Fuck Nowhere! Anyways, I am certain I will make it to next Wednesday. I will celebrate my departure from work that day by pampering myself - I am getting waxed, buffer, facialised and painted on thine nails. This will set me back a significant amount of money, but I am uncaring. I am all about the Sam right now. I feel this is ok, as I am not behaving badly or being mean to anyone! Ok, so I am wasting money, but it will make me feel good :)

Anyways, that's how I am spending my day on my final day of work. hurrah.

Also, nice to see that people are reading my blog! Appreciate it folks. I'm trying hard to entertain and enthrall. Though, I don't believe myself to be very entertaining or enthralling, and it defeats the purpose of writing in a blog. I mean, the reason I set this blog up was to be honest and candid. So, I can't really try hard at all. So, I must be naturally enthralling! HA!! Anyways, thanks Sonn for making me feel better about my quirky bathroom habits. I have found in the past that my quirky entries seem to focus on functions which rest in the bathroom facinity. Hrm. That says a lot about me, which could be damaging!! *laugh*

Oh. I also meant to say - all ewes peoples who obviously read my diary - yeh, I sees ya - say hi, ok? I have comments! I have email! Please! It's great that people read it, I'd like to meet you all - or rather, y'all! :)

Who avoids the toilet stall which someone else has JUST used? Like, the longer it is left alone, the better your odds are of the germs dissipating. This is my theory. Today I found myself avoiding the toilet stall a women had walked out of. I knew she had been in there because the water was still bubbling around, as if it had just been flushed. It's like the germs on the seat are new, so if I let them settle for a while, they won't be as disgusting and will fade.

I'm odd, aren't I? No, seriously you can tell me.

It's pouring bad news tonight. My mother called to let me know my great aunt Eileen passed away today from an Aneurism. I didn't know her at all really, just the stories my mum used to tell me. She sounded like a lovely lady. She was the younger sister to my mum's mother - my grandmother. You could have sworn my grandmother was NOT related to my Great Aunt Eileen, or my Aunty Nell, or my Uncle Frank - she was an old tirant, a cow if you like. So, the last of the Greats have gone. It's sad really. I mean, I have no concept of extended family. My family is my mother and my uncle. That's it. I dont know my cousins - any of them, I don't know my father, step mother or step brother. I don't know my aunties or uncles. It's just ridiculous really, isn't it?

Something I wish I had more of a sense of family than I do. It would make it a lot easier to deal with the inherited family I have now.

A sweet friend of mine is dying. We think she has cancer, though we can't be certain. I've known her since I was 17. this sounds a bit nutty, but she's my dog, Bella. She lives at mum's house, but essentially she is mine. She's a gorgeous German Shepherd with a beautiful disposition. I taught her to give me five - much like the shake hands thing. When I was home last time - two years ago, I hadn't since her in two years and the first thing she tried to do was give me five. That dog is a legend and I'm so sad and filled with a sense of loss. Mum says she is getting so thin, but is being fed much more than she used to be. So, I'm coming home to a dog who I remember being daffy, outgoing and affectionate, but is now thin and without personality or joy.

I just can't fathom it. Basicxally, I'm going home to say goodbye to her.

What a crummy Christmas this is turning out to be.

Dance of Joy!

Hitmaps is back, so i can see you all!!!! Nothing will get past me now baaaaaby!!! Muhahaaaaaah!!!

Di! Come and get it!!!!!!!

Oh my!

I've certainly let the cat out of the bag this weekend. I let my true colours show by sharing this gem with friends on Saturday night. As I was sitting there, I relived so many great memories of my childhood, but they weren't crisp images, just feelings and a few little thoughts here and there. Mostly, it -reminded me of Diana - my kindred spirit from high school.

It reminded me of the times when I was a teenager and I could enjoy being a teenager. I think Di was just one of those friends who can't be replicated. I mean, I have many other fabulous friends, but each of them is different in personality and the friendship was have formed, so the one with Di was different.

Anyways, the weekend was fine. We grocery shopped like an old couple, spent heaps of money and got the shits when I realised that my beloved Colora*do shoes just don't fit my pudgy feet anymore. This means that I can't find any summer sandlish shoes for my flippers I call feet. Gah. It was enough to piss me off and chuck a bit of a tantrum - talk about not being grown up!

Anyways, I'm onto the sequel now. Oh Gilbert...*sigh*

Say it... Come On! Say It! I'm a dag! i know!!!!! I love it!

DID I MENTION I LOVE THE 80s??!? HAH!!!!!!

Daaaamn. Can you believe it's almost the end of the year and I get presentses?! For meees?! yays! I always get a sense of exciteness about Christmas arriving, maybe it's because i'm so spoilt some people. As a child, I used to delight in Santa coming to visit me, I'd write elaborate lists and make sure mum sent the letter off in Australia Post. It was all very serious stuff. It was a huge deal whne I'd get a letter back from Santa thanking me for writing to him and for being a good girl. I remember being ridiculed at school for still beleiving in Santa when I was like 10. Ok, so i had the hint before then, but a child is always a child and if there is a little ounce of hope, wouldnt you hang onto it aswell? So, some little jerk found a letter to Santa in my bag and paraded it around to my peers. It was a bad day for me. Three years later, I told mum I didn't believe in Santa - that was three years of knowing he didnt exist and three years of discovering Christmas presents tucked in wardrobes, drawers and under the vanity unit! It was Christmas for the entire month of December!!! Every day after school I'd rush into my mum's bedroom to see what the latest addition to the collection was. I was in heaven.

Anyways, I kinda digressed. The thing is, the excitement of Christmas hasn't really diminished. People around me know my joy and I think some of them indulge it. My boyfriend certainly does and buys me great presents. My mother enjoys scoping out great presents. I'm an eternal child at the age of 28. I can't help myself. Amazing I hold down a full time grown up job. Thing is, I don't know how I convince people I am an adult.

I digress again. The lead up to Christmas is all sorts of joyful fun. Have you noticed your colleagues in the office have an extra spring in their step, they leave on time and discuss their plans for Christmas with great glee? Have you noticed the number of parties that start to pop up? The number of people who are out and about during your lunch hour and over the weekend in the shopping centres? There's a certain electricity about it all, despite the grumpiness of dragging a cranky child around who has been chucking a tantrum for the last four hours because he couldn't get that toy he saw in the store...hrm.

What am I on about? Who fucken knows. I have just noticed a change in the air - and no, it's not the bloody fucked up weather we're experiencing in Melbourne right now. I swear, today was cloudy, then it was sunny, then it was lightning and rumbling thunder and monsoonal rain and then it was sunny and muggy. What gives? Anyways, Christmas changes the whole balance of things. No matter if you are Christian or atheist - there's just a change in everything.

Prove me wrong!

Anyways, it's the weekend, I don't have a goddam headache for the first time in probably two weeks and I'm seeing the end to a long year of many occurences. I'm seeing a week off work and a healthy paycheck coming through next week - I love higher paying jobs. House here we come!

Oh Glen, if you are reading this - THINK PALM PILOT! My cup with runneth over......:)

I'm such a wreck right now. I have been a bit out of it today and it showed. I had a headache and I really think that my blood pressure is up, so i have booked myself into see the doctor next week. Also want to talk to her about an alternative form of contraception - I'm sick of weight gain. Anyways, I was preoccupied and not with it on the ride home. I was lane splitting. I am told this is legal in stopped traffic. I clipped a car's rear view mirror. I panicked. I didnt stop. In retrospect there was no opportunity to really stop. I was convinced the entire way home that this guy was following me, or was trying desperately to get my licence plate number. I have such a conscience about such things. But yet, I didnt stop. God. I'm a fool. I'm just going to have to get over it. I dont expect that I did any damage to his rear view mirror, but I bet I pissedhim off.

Sam, you are a fool, girl. A fool.

My god. It has been a long week for me already. I swear, I'm not complaining, I'm over the worst, but I tell you, I don't remember having such a bad headache as I did on Sunday. Glen and I had a little too much to drink Saturday night and by the time my head hit the pillow that night I had a headache - not surprising really, considering it's been that long since I've had any alcohol. So, i woke up Sunday with a tremendous migraine and a lovely little grey kitten purring pleasantly in my ear hole! I shooed him and Glen away and spent most of the morning in bed. I dragged my sorry arse out of bed by about midday, had some lunch and collapsed on the lounge, sleeping right through til 7pm! I can't believe how bad it was. I haven't had a doozy like that for ages. I hope never to repeat...yeh right, who am I kidding?!

Today was a particularly hectic and somewhat stressful day. it has been difficult settling in, particular since we have a lot of work on and my boss and I have been dragged in different directions. Not her fault, but I have been left to my own devices and I'm floundeirng somewhat. I mean, I'm doing ok, but I dont feel comfortable and I'm not grasping basic concepts - ok, so it's an industry I've never worked before, but that doesnt help. So, I basically worked through lunch and then an hour and a half past my go home time, just to feel a little more informed and prepared. I bet tomorrow undoes all my preparedness - is that such a word?

It's something like 20 days until I fly home to see mum. Ok, so it's 18 - scary concept!!!! Yay!! I'm looking forward to seeing mum, just not at all interested in the stinky hot weather. The good news came tonight via a voicemail from mum - she will have a working oven next weekend - hurrah!! Now, this is a simple thing, but a somewhat miraculous occurence for her - she's been without an oven for most the year! That's a christmas blessing in itself.

Now I sit here and vege, trying not to think about the calamity of my job which awaits me tomorrow. I have one thing to be thankful for and it's a bit sad because she is a fabulous boss in everyway I could hope for - but she is a busy person and constantly runs in and out of her office being very busy. It's distracting! I can't help! When there is movement, I must peer!! So tomorrow, I shall put the headphones on thine head and do the proverbial bum up, head down thing.

Tomorrow awaits...but for now, I shall vegetate...drooooooool....

The 1st day of December. Wow. Where has this year gone? This means just 24, actually 23 days until Glen and I fly home to see mum for Christmas. Crap!!

This will be a quick update, but I wanted to direct your attention to my new section, which looks a little bad, but I'll fix it later. It's the Who Am I section to the right ----> see? The 99 Things About Me. I've been busy!