| watashi no [negai] no tame ni... |
| the *space* between my head v.5: [ten no ryuu] |
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About this layout: *sigh* couldn't do my crossover pic in time for this month's layout. but i will *try my best* to have it done for may. i promise that much, at least =) anyway, this is an old pic, done back in high school. and even tho the anime ending *stunk* (as many anime endings tend to do =&), i love the manga to pieces, even tho it's moving slower than an AOL dialup "connection" ^^*
My Virtual Space (currently under construction)
Online avatars: sakusha, aeterna, meiris & gidget, among others...
Anime Insanity ^_^
Bishounen Basket: Yuki/Hatsuharu/Kyo/Shigure/Hatori/Momiji/Hatori from furuba, Lantis/Eagle from Rayearth,
Inuyasha/Sesshoumaru from Inuyasha, Ryuuichi/Touma Seguchi/K-san from Gravi, Arima from Karekano, Kakyou/Subaru/Kamui from X,
Ohjiro from Angelic Layer, Hayate/Sasame from Pretear, Hayama from Kodocha, Kei/Yuu from Marmalade Boy, Sousuke from Full Metal Panic!, Vash/Nicolas from Trigun, Folken/Van from Escaflowne, Li Syaoran from Cardcaptor Sakura, Tooya
from Ayashi no Ceres (until the end -_-8)...
Bishoujo Blossoms: Kirika/Mireille from NOIR, Chii from Chobits, Haruka/Motoko from Love Hina, Satsuki/Arashi/Karen from X,
Kendappa/Sohma/Kurura from RG Veda, Fuu from Rayearth, Hana-chan from furuba, Meiko from Marmalade Boy, Yui from Fushigi Yuugi, Achika from Tenchi Muyo
in Love, Makino from Hana Yori Dango, Meia from Vandread, Urd/Belldandy/Skuld from Ah! Megami-sama, Ruby Moon from Cardcaptor Sakura,
Suu/Oruha from Clover, Ceres from Ayashi no Ceres, Ed from Cowboy Bebop, Motoko from Ghost in the Shell, Yukino from Karekano...
Rotten Apples (charas I don't particularly like): Akito from furuba, the teacher from Mahoromatic (UGH), Naraku from Inuyasha,
Fuka from Kodocha, Miaka from Fushigi Yuugi, Aeka from Tenchi Muyo, Suzu/Michael/Jinny from Marmalade Boy, Asai&Co/Doumyouji's mom
from Hana Yori Dango, Dita/Pai from Vandread, Asuka/Ritsuko from Eva, Memania from Perfect Blue (gah!), Meilin from Cardcaptor Sakura,
Tamayo/Misaki's mom from Angelic Layer, Dilandau/Merle from Escaflowne, Hanagata/Faust from Saber Marionette J, Aya/Aki from Ayashi no Ceres
(i'm noticing a trend here with Yuu Watase's lead charas)...
Blogs of Interest
Old *space*
Connections to the "real" world
XxXxXOther PeoplesXxXxX
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sakusha is currently (feeling) XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX
Tuesday, April 30, 2002
^___^ the skit went rather well; we got a whole mess of laughs. i'll probably post the translated script later in english. i think i'll probably skip decal today and go thursday... too much stuff to do, including that picture... =& xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 11:28 a.m.Xx
Tuesday, April 30, 2002
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 07:49 a.m.Xx
Tuesday, April 30, 2002
must... draw... picture... tomorrow... *collapse*
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 01:00 a.m.Xx
Monday, April 29, 2002
*gives kisakichi a big hug* grr... really wish i could show her apartmentmates a thing or two... those petty, cruel, mindless... wenches. >_<*
not much to say about my weekend except that it was the last one i am allowed to enjoy before i have to become a slave to econ =/
but first, i have to finish the blog pic. er, i mean, start it. then finish it. ^^8 yeesh, i only have 2 days...!
it's almost may... which is good because that means april will be over, finally. =)
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 12:37 p.m.Xx
Friday, April 26, 2002
@ wurk rite now. apparently lantis is suffering from the usual ailment: unstable explorer that keeps randomly crashing in the background every 5 minutes when i'm doing other stuff (like typing in word, or listening to music) so i decided to let him rest a bit. *sigh* guess those d/l's will have to wait a bit ^^8
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 04:00 p.m.Xx
Friday, April 26, 2002
okay, poll's down now... as for the results, you'll have to wait and see. cuz i threw in a couple of votes to mess w/ the results, and i'll take those out in considering the final count. =) so yup, you'll see on may 1st.
re:#6 on my previous entry (dorky-guy-with-hot-girl cliché)... i wonder, why isn't it ever the other way around? where you have a dorky girl (not a ditzy one, not a stupid one, etc.) with a good character and personality who wins the heart of a hot guy who loves to do chores? (XD yeah, okay, i see the impossibility of it now... j/p) like kisakichi said, ordinary girls want to get hot guys too ^_^*
anyway, i've had a couple of people protest my semi-rantage of that plot-line... in the form of "what's wrong with that?!" (when i said it's just wish-fulfillment for the creators, who are probably projecting themselves into the role of the main guy--gah, male mary sues! >_<*) or "that's one of the building blocks of anime!" (note: these protesting ppl were guys... additionally, no offense to them, they fall into the category of "ordinary guy" ^_^8)
oh, and i thought of something else that kinda irks me: certain kinds of shoujo anime/manga. i mean, there are good love stories, and then there are convoluted soaps that just annoy me, esp. if the main character is stupid. oh! a corollary to the two types of anime heroines: for both types, there's the additional irk factor if she's a "lovable" crybaby/dunce/airhead. (on a related tangent... as much as i love fruits basket, i have issues with tohru, esp. when she goes into her self-sacrificing-nature mode... which is rather often. sometimes i just want to shake her very hard and ask her "why do you act like such a doormat~?!" which is why i would rather her not end up with either yuki or kyou) i really don't find anything cute/adorable about a clueless girl, but heaven knows plenty of japanese guys apparently do. =bleh i know i definitely wouldn't be smitten with a guy who was cute but stupid.
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 08:52 a.m.Xx
Thursday, April 25, 2002
or more specifically, things related to anime-dom, not targeted at any person. i'm no expert on anything anime, and i'm a far cry from a true otaku (thankfully... some of those guys at club creep me out... then again, so do certain types of fangirls -_-8) ... anyway, here goes:
there are more but i can't think of any at the moment. oh, and kisakichi? re:*ahem*... i really hope it's just that you're reading too much into it... but seriously, i have no respect for a guy who refers to girls as "chicks" on a regular basis. even if he *did* remember my name that one time...
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 09:34 p.m.Xx
Thursday, April 25, 2002
kisakichi, i'm very sorry that your apartmentmates are complete and utter %^*%&*@#$$&$%... just so you know, adrienne's still very interested in the whole rig-an-electric-current-to-the-doorknob deal so those two can receive a little shock treatment...
good luck finding a place this weekend... tho adrienne insists you don't need to look, if you know what i mean. ^^*
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 06:35 p.m.Xx
Wednesday, April 24, 2002
maybe i should just become a college dropout. -_-8 i feel like such an idiot...
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 03:00 p.m.Xx
Wednesday, April 24, 2002
my bbff elaine @ the cal state fullerton library & i:
Sagara**** (12:41:42 PM): take care my BBFF for life!!!!!!!! kinda redundent...bestest best friends forever for life..
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 12:51 p.m.Xx
Wednesday, April 24, 2002
i have class in about 12 minutes (22, if going by berkeley time) and i'm still here, sitting and staring blankly at the wall in my room, still in my PJs.
i'm feeling an utter lack of motivation to do anything right now.
*sigh* but conditioning's gonna kick in after i post this entry and i'll go get ready for class.
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 09:48 a.m.Xx
Tuesday, April 23, 2002
gr. this week needs to end. this month needs to end. this year needs to end.
i think there's been something wrong with this lunar year. i can't even explain why, maybe it's because of all that's happened, that this year is especially morbid.
it's bad luck, really. i can't let myself get mired into it, lest my worries manifest themselves physically.
my mother (who is fairly superstitious in regards to Chinese fortunetelling--and to an extent, i am too) told me that this lunar year, for those born in the year of the dog, one must not dwell upon thoughts of the dead. one shouldn't visit places that deal w/ death (where dying ppl are, cemeteries, etc). and no funerals.
but that's unrealistic. every other day i have to go to a class in a building where ppl have committed suicide. and people have died everywhere--that is, at some point in history, no matter where i am, a person must have passed away right where i'm standing.
but i guess these things aren't to be taken too extremely. nonetheless, this ominous feeling overall still stands. *shakes head rather vigorously* must stop thinking morbid thoughts...
*sigh*
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 07:44 a.m.Xx
Tuesday, April 23, 2002
at some point this evening, i'm not even sure when it was myself, i kinda fell into this mild depression. i don't even know why. later events this night didn't help improve it any... *sigh* i dunno.
i'm not supposed to dwell on the past too much. but sometimes it sneaks up on you and haunts you again, if only briefly. looking back it's not as bad as what others have gone thru--others must have suffered much much more than i have--and anyway i can thank my well-developed sense of repression that i don't morbidly dwell on the bad memories of the past.
i hated junior high. i hated all males. i hated myself.
but that was then. this is now. it's over. finally over.
i'm sorry to anyone i worried earlier tonite. i'm okay now, really i am. as long as i can believe in that it'll be okay. besides, the past is so long past that it's no longer anything at all, nothing worth troubling myself about anymore. nothing at all.
it's now and the future that matters, right? i'm stronger than i used to be, so i don't have to be unhappy about the past anymore.
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 12:43 a.m.Xx
Monday, April 22, 2002
i was reminded by my roommate that i have telebears today... =bleh. what to take next semester... probably econ and chinese100 and astro10 and such. just gotta wait for noon to roll around and i can access the system... maybe.
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 08:31 a.m.Xx
Saturday, April 20, 2002
i've been in SF *all* day today... 27th annual mandarin speech contest at lincoln high. and in about 20 minutes i have to be at wheeler to be ready for a cappella against AIDS tonite. ^_^*
speech contest this year was a lot better for cal cuz we took home a lot more prizes. in my division (w/ 12 ppl), which was 2nd year chinese students with a chinese background, there were only 3 cal students, and all three took 1st, 2nd, and 3rd. ^_______^
i placed 2nd~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!! XD
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 07:42 p.m.Xx
Friday, April 19, 2002
^^, as you may have noticed, the balance for this blog has been disrupted by a random poll next to the layout pic. yes, april is coming to a close (thankfully!), so i'll need to change the layout soon. i've two ideas vying for the winning spot, and if you are so inclined, please participate in the poll and help me decide. =)
i'll leave the poll up for about a week because after that i really need to draw the thing ^^, or maybe i should draw both sketches and touch up the one that gets selected.
i don't specify who/what's gonna be in the layout pic--i just wanna get a feel from the ppl who actually read this what they think. =)
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 09:44 p.m.Xx
Friday, April 19, 2002
caught up with FMP! today... ep14. =) the second story arc lasted from 9-12, and both 13 & 14 are stand-alone ones... funny but not as funny as 8 ^^, 13 has melissa & theresa challenging each other to an AS (some kinda mecha) duel where the loser has to walk around the military base in the buff (potential fan service? -_-8) while 14 has sousuke, kaname, & co. going to a beach city that's really used for military training grounds and there's some kinda AS festival/competition going on. it's weird to see AS running relays; it's even weirder to see them playing ping-pong. ^^8
also watched the first ep of "full moon o sagashite" (searching for the full moon) it was... i dunno. i can't say that it's great--the premise being: a girl who has a cancerous tumor in her throat wants to become a jpop idol in order to fulfill childhood promise to guy but can't sing cuz it hurts and refuses to have an operation to cure her cuz she might lose her voice. now that's just stupid, to refuse to have a life-saving operation just because you want to sing. but of course, death steps in in the form of two teenage-looking shinigami (some kinda spirit, not sure of the translation [edit: kisakichia tells me shinigami means "god of death"... well, i never saw gundam wing ^^*]) who tell her she's gonna die in a year anyway (*maybe* it's cuz she won't have that operation... -_-8) so she decides to pursue that dream nonetheless; with their help she's transformed into an older version of herself so she can audition to be signed onto a recording label... i dunno. i'm not too *caught* by this series so far; maybe it'll get better?
chobits 1 & 2. did i ever mention that i love chii? she's so adorable ^^, anyway... a slightly ecchi CLAMP work (hey, i only buy the manga cuz of chii! ^^,) with a loser guy who failed college entrance exams, works a dead-end job, and is going to cram school in hopes of trying again next year. aforementioned loser-guy (name: motosuwa hideki) finds abandoned persocon (sort of like a humanoid computer) in the form of chii in an alleyway and takes her home (wow, how convenient, to find something *that expensive* in the dumpster pile) and um, *activates* her by pressing a switch in an unmentionable part (gah, get your ecchi hands off chii! >=() adorable persocon is limited to a one-word vocab ("chii? chii!") no thanks to loser guy dropping her software diskette while taking her home. poor chii... having to learn from him, farm-boy (amused that he comes from a farm in the anime... those poor cows, having to be milked by him -_-8), who eats instant natto (some kinda bean dish) for breakfast and who only has pr0n mags lying around his place and wants to use chii's computing capabilities (whatever they may be) to surf the net for dirty ecchi stuff. -_-8 so yes, i think chii is too good for him =) in any case, she's a lot more powerful than that farm-boy can imagine (he's so computer illiterate in the anime it's sad)... anyway, chii is cute. end of story.
oh, and i have the OP stuck in my head. ^^8
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 07:09 p.m.Xx
Friday, April 19, 2002
^___^ chii is adorable ^___^
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 12:42 a.m.Xx
Thursday, April 18, 2002
just realized i don't have to write my paper tonite. there's no official class meeting tomorrow... so i can focus on chinese instead. ^^8
finally starting to feel the load lighten... and i hope next week will be much better... =)
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 10:33 p.m.Xx
Thursday, April 18, 2002
someone's gonna be late for class. =&
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 04:49 p.m.Xx
Thursday, April 18, 2002
well, kinda not really. apparently i can't draw guitars, even tho i'm borrowing a roommate's to use as a model. heck, i don't even know how to hold on properly, so i think i'll make the character have it rest on his leg or something. gah. oh yeah. it's still in the sketch stage, and it's due in about 3 hours~! >_<*
*grumble* <-- the sound of my stomach, as i've only had a cup of coffee and a few crackers all day.
if it weren't for the coffee, my body would definitely recognize that it is in *dire need* of sleep. heh.
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 02:11 p.m.Xx
Thursday, April 18, 2002
;_;
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 11:23 a.m.Xx
Thursday, April 18, 2002
>_< *stress* xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 06:08 a.m.Xx
Tuesday, April 16, 2002
feeling slightly better now.
no, i didn't write my 4 page paper yet. yes, it's due tomorrow in 12 hours.
i've decided to sacrifice it (until friday, at least). i'm justifying myself by the fact that i have to study for econ midterm/chinese vocab anyway.
besides, i'm taking this class pass/fail, and late papers will only be docked half a grade for each class session.
*exhales* okay, back to econ/chinese.
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 11:00 p.m.Xx
Tuesday, April 16, 2002
apparently i'm sending off some strong *stress* waves today, because people around me are having bad days too.
i'm sorry~! ;_; i'll try to keep myself in check.
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 07:59 p.m.Xx
Tuesday, April 16, 2002
. . . . . stupid simplified chinese characters . . . . .
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 07:58 p.m.Xx
Monday, April 15, 2002
simplified chinese characters are the bane of my existence. >_<*
i'm not feeling well right now. agitated. tense. stressed? tired a bit? not sure.
this is not a good week, in more ways than one.
must get to work.
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 10:43 p.m.Xx
Sunday, April 14, 2002
about my mood (squishy)... don't ask. ^^8
must motivate myself to work early and work often. after all, those papers aren't gonna write themselves, that project isn't gonna draw itself (btw i'll probably do something from PI as opposed to the yuki-yuki-yuki (from furuba, ccs, and gravi) ménage á trois you suggested, kisakichi, simply for the fact that i have *no time* to draw three bishounen in, um... an interesting situation ^^8)... and that midterm isn't gonna take itself, darnit. =b
okay, back to work. ^^8
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 03:09 p.m.Xx
Saturday, April 13, 2002
it's been one of those lazy saturdays. i didn't really get anything done today. um... 'cept maybe label some anime. ^^, it's just not a good time for me to fall into a slump, tho, seeing as how i have 2 papers, 1 project, and 1 midterm this coming week. >_<*
for some reason i'm just really sleepy. never mind that i slept about 9 hours last nite, napped for a couple more throughout today... still tired. =/ too much sleep, perhaps? ^^8 i dunno.
kisakichi, my anime for this weekend: initial d battle stage. good enuf? okay. =) oh, and did i get 3rd stage from you, or was it you from me? i can't recall. anyway, i didn't realize the subtitles were in chinese. ^^* so... i suppose i can understand some parts of it in chinese and some parts of it in japanese, and altogether my comprehension level should be about 40%? it'd be a lot higher but i know practically nothing about cars. ^^8 i barely drive.
i think it's been one of those days where i just need to be around people. but even then it doesn't always get rid of that lonely feeling inside. not completely. yet, hearing someone's voice, or knowing there's someone breathing in the same room as me... it helps to keep me from falling down.
love can be a terribly addictive drug. i want to write a short story trilogy with that theme in mind. =) it would be a rather dark work. i've only mentioned it to one other person before... maybe i ought to take up the pen again. it's not something i think i could draw tho... not at my current level.
i used to write stories that my friends enjoyed reading. it was nice that people liked my work, definitely a rush. the biggest compliment tho, was when my youngest sister dug them out and read them last year. =) it's funny, how i never finished that series. i'd only written three parts (out of five) by the time i finished high school.
the first part (or Series I, as i called it), had 8 or 9 stories that i wrote from junior high to early high school. it was set in future, both on earth and in an alternate dimension, and was a very crude RPG-style plot for the first story that gradually changed into a darker, rather contrived good vs. evil storyline that ended up with many many deaths (a la CLAMP's RG Veda) in the last installment. it had its moments, but looking back, it wasn't really great writing. just amusing entertaining fluff. after all, i started it back in junior high... but it was interesting to see my style evolve from the first story to the last. ^^, i remember i wrote one of the stories in about 3 days.
the second part, consisting of 5 short stories, took place in modern-day HK. it was a lot lighter in tone, had more elements of romance (this was around 9th-10th grade), and was sort of a transition to the third series.
my sister didn't really like the third series. there were only 3 stories in it. three very long, drawn out stories. i think i should've split them up some more. i wrote too much ^^*
i remember all those wire-bound college-rule notebooks, and the pens (preferably blue) i used to write in them. i could write a short story in a few days; the ideas just kept coming. yet it feels as though i sacrificed quality for quantity. i think, if i had to rewrite the series from the start, i'd spend more time on it, the first 2 parts would be heavily updated to match the writing level of the 3rd part.
anyway, enuf babble for now. ^^8
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 09:28 p.m.Xx
Friday, April 12, 2002
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 10:43 p.m.Xx
Friday, April 12, 2002
because i have nothing better to do at the moment...
...and apparently, neither do you.
for those who have no friends to assume the role
with a total stranger? ew, no thanks
so wait, why am i supposed to bid?
college students across america wonder what's the point, if they're empty
if it's only worth 2, why have the starting bid at 37?
and finally, something i'd love to get for bakageezerchan (pity it's not a *real* auction)
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 05:44 p.m.Xx
Friday, April 12, 2002
inspiration struck early this morning ^^* my argument that tv/media has a negative influence on children, causing youth violence (note: it's not to be taken seriously, of course ^^8)
watching too much tv/movies will definitely influence children in a bad way, and it won't be any good for them. take power rangers, for example. after kids watch it some of them want to fight other kids. one day, my 4-yr-old cousin tried to fight me like a power ranger. as for me, i had absolutely no interest whatsoever, so i put a hand on his head so that he couldn't even touch me.
it's precisely because kids watch too much tv/movies that we should implement a stricter method to suppress youth violence. basically, because we can't make kids watch less tv/movies, i thought and thought, and finally came up with an idea. we should have the government fund the development of a computer chip, and then have these chips surgically inserted inside children's brains. in the event that they should have any violent thought, such as wanting to beat their sister or set a fire, the chip would give them a little shock. this method is better than that "v-chip" because my method is more effective. thank you.
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 12:35 p.m.Xx
Thursday, April 11, 2002
another email from my group (from the first writer). he's arguing that tv & the media aren't to blame for the rise in school violence:
And here is my argument, in Engrish:
I suppose if you watch television these days it is easy to make the conclusion that children could imitate what they see with heinous results. But really, this is quite a short-sighted view. A lot of other things have to go wrong before kids do something very dangerous. Usually this means their parents didn't put their guns and knives away, or they didn't teach their kids not to do spinning piledrivers on smaller individuals. Blaming the media ignores other more pressing matters, such as education.
Take me for example. I am the world's most dangerous person. (note: by this point i'm completely laughing my head off XD) My kung fu is among the world's greatest. I am the king of assassins. Everywhere I go, buildings explode. I shoot very accurately. All of the world's militaries fear me. And I hate television. I don't kill people because I'm imitating television. I kill people because I'm absolutely insane.
Thank you.
-j
i can't wait til tomorrow. ^^,
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 11:47 p.m.Xx
Thursday, April 11, 2002
so i started watching karekano again, and i'm up to ep. 10 (personal favorite). and just rewatching it reminds me what a great series it is (excluding the "ending" of course ^^8). so yes. karekano ga daisuki!!! ^___^
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 12:47 p.m.Xx
Thursday, April 11, 2002
the guys in my chinese discussion group are hilarious. XD for instance, the recent emails re: friday's discussion topic.
From: J--- L--
Hi all,
So our discussion is on Friday. I was left out of any discussion regarding what topic we were doing and who was doing what--well, if any discussion actually took place at all. (note: there wasn't any ^^8)
Perhaps we can talk about it tomorrow. Or if we somehow neglect to do so, here is what we can do:
We will do topic #2, Kids with guns.
We will do it in this order:
Pro: The media has forced my kids to use guns.
Con: The media doesn't kill people. Crazy people kill people.
Conclusion: I like cats.
READ THIS: Can somebody send me the topic and vocab words for the essay due Friday. I'll bet it's online, but I'm a lazy ass.
Remember. All of the above is optional if we decide differently tomorrow, which we will probably do considering how late this is being sent.
DO NOT READ THE BELOW. IT IS NONSENSE.
Here is the strategy we can adopt by default for determining who should do what for the next 2 skits we have to do:
TOPIC: Always do number two.
PRO/CON: It doesn't matter who is on what side, except for the following:
WHO DOES CONCLUSION: The very last part is typically dependent (or not) on what everyone else says, which means the person who does the conclusion might have to wait for people to finish their stuff. This might be a pain in the ass, so I'll reserve this spot for me. This is, of course, assuming that I decide to make a logical conclusion based upon what you guys say. Does it ever actually come to that? Hah. We're talking theoretical here.
WHO GOES FIRST ON EITHER SIDE: Again, we might assume that the Number Twos on either side of the pro/con divide will depend upon what is said by A) The Number One on the same side, and B) The Number One on the other side, and C) Pro Number Two, if you are Con Number Two. Thus, the Number Ones have the pressure of finishing their stuff and emailing to everyone else before the Number Twos can write their own stuff. Theoretically. I base our current ordering on what I know of your schedules, that is to say nothing
whatsoever. That is also to say that it is my complete guess that J--- will have time to finish up first. I arbitrarily assign J-- (note: email writer's brother) a high-pressure position because I like to do that. This means that I assumed the girls would have class all day and would get home, only to find delightful Number One arguments in their email. Then they don't have the pressure to finish early. Note this is actually the opposite logic of the previous paragraph; that is, previously I assumed that the hardest part would be for the person who waits (the conclusion writer, me), whereas now I presume that the hardest part goes to those who have to prevent others from waiting (the Number Ones, J-- and J---). Note yet again that I don't presume upon any seemingly gender-based ability to do the so-called "hard parts" of these discussions in my determination of who should do what by default; rather I base this upon that fact that Gina is always busy and J----- is a grad student and is thus always busy. J-- doesn't have shit to do, neither do I,
and J--- is a flesh-encased exoskeleton with a neural net computer. He would never care one way or the other.
I will now proceed to do my reading homework for Chinese.
-j
later, j--- (aka the "flesh-encased exoskeleton with a neural net computer) writes back to all of us:
Hello, kudos on an email that makes up in length what it lacks in shortness. I read it as I folded socks and listened to music. You could say "Wo yibian zhe wazi, yibian ting yinyue." (note: basically the same thing, only in mandarin pinyin ^^*)
I'm all for doing number 2, whatever that topic is. Peachy keen, know what I mean? Really swell, a plan that sells. Down wid dat, I wear a hat. As for the proposal to regulate our assigning of roles for future skitzies, I'd have no objections to that. I'm a very non-objectionable kind of guy, which is why my days as a traffic cop are numbered.
Well, see y'all in 6 hours or so. I sleep on an unkempt bed atop a dry wind.
-the Ye Junpingster (note: Ye Junping is his chinese name ^^8)
well, it only makes sense that these guys usually ham it up for any class presentation/skit/speech, and are generally very entertaining. i'd do the same, but unfortunately my weird sense of humor doesn't translate too well into chinese ^^8 i dunno. i like it when i meet people who are able to make others laugh.
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 11:06 a.m.Xx
Thursday, April 11, 2002
Your objective is simple: Soul Accumulation
Stage One:
To begin your plan, you must first Traumatize a Town Mascot. This will cause the world to sit up and take notice, stunned by your arrival. Who is this Sadistic Fiend? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in Classic Black?
Stage Two:
Next, you will Sabotoge the Internet. This will cause countless hordes of Computer Programmers to flock to you, begging to do your every bidding. Your name will become synonymous with All that is wrong with the world, as lesser men whisper your name in terror.
Stage Three:
Finally, you will Reveal to the World your Opening of the Seven Seals, bringing about Nightmares for every Man, Woman and Child. This will all be done from a Dark Side of the Moon, an excellent choice if we might say. These three deeds will herald the end, and the citizens of this planet will have no choice but to elect you their new god.
Trust us, it'll all come together in the end.
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 12:41 a.m.Xx
Wednesday, April 10, 2002
i didn't do it, but it's happened!!! yes, yes, that's right, a X/furuba crossover fic. i dunno if it's any good tho, but i'm amused by the tohru connection (tohru as kamui's mother--same name, after all) and one of the sohmas as the father... XD
okay, so it's not the crossover i had in mind, but it's a start. i'm highly amused.
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 11:18 p.m.Xx
Wednesday, April 10, 2002
i dunno, but lately it feels as though berkeley is steeped in gloom & depression, and i'm noticing something that i can only hope is just coincidence.
no, it's not just about evans hall, aka tallest building on campus. but it's creepy that within a month, both this and this occurred. that i have class in that very building twice a week still unnerves me. even tho i knew neither of the two people, i know people who knew them.
i recall how, about two years ago, also in april, when i came up to cal for the very first time for cal day, i heard about this incident.
and i just found out about this today (even tho the article is from the 1st), only because i saw the memorial set up on bancroft near wells fargo when i walked by this evening... for those who go to cal and have ever ventured to southside... he was the really nice guy who always said "God bless you!" or "Have a nice day!" or "Good luck on your midterms!" as you walked by.
*sigh*
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 08:58 p.m.Xx
Tuesday, April 9, 2002
i'm missing wurk right now. why? because i have too much other stuffs to do, mostly school-related. >_<*
the heaviest burden at the moment is chinese. tonight i have to write a 4-5 minute speech (due tomorrow), complete listening comprehension hw (which will take ~30 min, max), and memorize the oral exam (which i have to make up tomorrow). not to mention translation/reading comprehension hw due thurs, and a group skit/discussion that has to be written and memorized by friday, and a chapter quiz (in simplified chinese~~!!! >_<***) on monday... at least, writing the speech will get me out of the essay due friday, but will add to my workload for the next couple of weeks as i have to practice and memorize said speech for the mandarin speech contest on the 20th (compensation: i get extra credit, which i sorely need). also our class is taking an extra credit field trip to a nearby museum so i'll have to miss wurk again (but as i said before, i need the EC... stupid simplified-character exams >=/).
then there's an econ problem set also due tomorrow, but i'll probably be able to take care of most of it during tutoring today (btw, my tutor, kate, is rather nice, but i'm not sure yet if she's a good tutor, as opposed to an okay one. irrelevant note: she's vietnamese).
i'm tired, too, what with the 8am class (so perhaps i might be dozing off today in decal, kisakichi? ^^8) and i only managed to squeeze in a 20-minute "nap" =&
on the plus side, deposited my paycheck today (yay, more money for paying rent -_-8).
i need this month to be over.
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 02:31 p.m.Xx
Tuesday, April 9, 2002
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 12:30 p.m.Xx
Monday, April 8, 2002
gr... not very happy that i've lost an hour. =& but today was a pretty good day. went to SF j-town w/ kisakichi and got a book to help me draw ^^* (it's very useful).
it must've been a portent because upon returning to the apt and checking one of my mail accounts, it turns out that i got my keenspace account. so i can proceed with the webcomic. and it was so unexpected, i really don't have any strip ready yet, only a few character sketches and the like. um... but more on this over at -cynical idealist-, which i'll update more often from now on. =)
anyway, i'm not looking forward to these next two weeks. projects and midterms and junk. =/
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 01:12 a.m.Xx
Sunday, April 7, 2002
it wasn't that it was absolutely the worst experience in my entire life, but it was just incredibly... stupid. and "stupid" is putting it nicely. it was lame. pointless. words cannot begin to describe it.
the night in review: i got there w/ my roommate and a couple of her friends. wandered around the place slowly, as it was packed. felt like a sardine. rubbed up against more people than should be sanitary. place smelled of, not surprisingly, smoke and alcohol. music was loud *and* cr@ppy. was freaked on twice (that was the worst part. who are these lame guys who go and freak on random girls? not cool. i'm sure there are lame girls who go out to these things to freak or be freaked on... not me, but i suppose one can't wear a sign that says "just try and get close and i'll disembowel you... slowly"). inhaled more smoke than i have since being in hong kong/japan.
anyway we left after about an hour and a half and hung out for awhile at my roommate's friend's place across the street before being driven back here.
so yes, in conclusion: frat parties are lame. i will never go to one again. i will never let my roommate cajole me into going to one again.
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 03:01 a.m.Xx
Saturday, April 6, 2002
my roommate (at lab) & me (at apt):
athiga* (7:37:36 PM): gina
d@mn her. she got the last word in. >=(
i don't see why she wants me to get all dressed up and looking nice just to go and hang out with a bunch of uncivilized and dirty drunk disgusting *swine* (and i apologize to the pigs, who aren't nearly as stupid/revolting as college frat boys). i'm not saying that *all* frat boys are the scum of the earth, but those who aren't are few in number... and even then i highly doubt that they haven't somehow been corrupted. i dunno, i find that guys who are in a frat lose much of their appeal as human beings, and just about all of my respect. >_<*
i suppose one could say i have no right to pass judgment, but i'm not, i'm merely stating my extremely biased opinion. sure, i've never been to a frat party, and i would like to keep it that way.
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 07:46 p.m.Xx
Saturday, April 6, 2002
i talked to my dad earlier today about the housing situation for me, and fortunately, he's a much calmer and more reasonable person (read: less hot-headed... or at least, his fuse is slower to burn up). and i was able to explain things more clearly to him *without* being interrupted/shot down, and he said he'd talk things over and explain to my mom better. and now everything is okay now. i just got off the phone w/ my mom, who told me i should've explained myself more clearly and not act so apathetic (well, i felt sorry in retrospect that she had caught me at a bad time--she has a talent for doing so--and she had to push my buttons too).
this got me to start thinking, is it an asian thing, or a universal thing, where, in a relationship, one half of the pair is unusually more assertive/aggressive/dominant thatn the other half? of course, i can think of examples in traditional asian male-dominated society where the wife is docile, obedient, submissive to her controlling husband. militant feminists would have a field day with that situation.
on the other hand, there are the couples with the extremely dominant/aggressive/assertive females paired up with a very giving and subservient husband. one can only imagine how this situation came about: the nice guy meets a wonderful girl who seems to be out of his league and they get married and she turns out to be a shrew, because she knows he worships the ground she walks on. now, is this also present in non-asian pairings as well? or only in societies where the status quo is so-called "male superiority"? (excuse my bias... not that i feel that females are *so much better* than males... but they are better, really ^^,) perhaps it is a generational backlash against that society? or maybe it only happens when the couple is no longer living within that traditional society...
anyway, it's not that my parents fit the extremes of the two situations discribed above. i can recognize that the structure of my immediate family is fairly traditional (husband works, wife stays at home) yet the power balance is almost equal with my mom carrying a smidgen more weight. ^^, anyway, i know my dad isn't the submissive one in the relationship, but i admire his sense of compromise. personally, i wouldn't be able to admire anyone who was, so to speak, "whipped," in a relationship. i wouldn't be able to respect any guy who becomes that way if it were my relationship.
after all, i love a challenge. ^_~
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 06:43 p.m.Xx
Saturday, April 6, 2002
i have a sneaking suspicion that i'm a real sucker for beauty and the poetic... i keep listening to "breathing" by lifehouse, and the lyrics just really really touch me, in a way. the song has just as much effect on me as does ayu's "end roll," only here i understand the words.
it's such a beautiful image, tho. that it would be enough for one to just be able to be near one's important person, to be able to hear that that person is breathing and existing in this world. unconditional love doesn't exist, not like that, at least. ^^*
*sigh* if i were to ever meet a guy who could think of something to say to me that was as beautiful as the lyrics to that song, i think i would cry.
realistically speaking tho, there isn't any guy like that. and one would have to take into consideration his other personality aspects, and not just his penchant for eloquent speech. so... ah well. things romantic belong in the realm of fiction and fantasy, anyway.
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 12:39 p.m.Xx
Saturday, April 6, 2002
so i should probably sleep, huh?
okay, g'nites.
(what a pointless entry)
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 02:04 a.m.Xx
Thursday, April 4, 2002
so i think my mom is annoyed with me again; she called earlier trying to "explain" to me about something i wasn't really listening to because it was just another boring lecture about being too apathetic/passive or something like that. she finally got frustrated and said her bye and hung up. and even if she's right, i don't care that i don't care. i got annoyed with her after she accused me of not taking their (my parents') advice to heart about finding (a) roommate(s) who are in the same grade level. who *cares* what grade level they're in?! yeesh. so apparently my roommate's friend has agreed to take the apt along w/ a sr. who's only staying for 1/2 year, but will probably be able to find another person to stay for 1/2 year. i don't care how long they can stay as long as they pay rent and are clean, considerate, and relatively quiet. my parents aren't happy because this means next year/semester/whatever we'll have to find another person (people) again. sure, it may be a hassle to discuss money issues (cost of furniture etc) but it's not like there's a lack of students who need housing, anyway.
oh, and i found a site that's selling the kuroneko UFO plush, for those who were interested.
i'm also annoyed that my mom thinks that i don't care about the family, just because i rarely make an effort to reach out to them/communicate. i dunno, it's always such a pain in the #%^ to do so. same old lectures. same old "advice" (lectures). same old "explanations" (lectures). add in criticism liberally and mix well.
i dunno. i'm not a very demonstrative person. just because i don't do anything doesn't mean i don't care. it may be extremely selfish of me, but i don't see why i'm expected to conform to societal expectations of having to keep in touch with everyone all the time. gr. i really should become a hermit.
i remember my mom picking on me at home (on numerous occasions) "why do you always talk to the same people? you always see those same faces, only do things with them? why don't you have any more friends?" hmph. and *now* she cares. all thru jr. high, high school, i wasn't allowed to go anywhere really, do anything much, it was all about study and SAT prep. i did what they wanted, and of course it's not good enough. now i'm expected to have a healthy social life too. >_<*
but i'm not like that. i don't want to be friends with everyone in my class. i only need a few people to be close to, to share my thoughts and secrets with... to trust.
she asked me why i don't call up my elementary school best friend (from 2nd to 6th grade) who goes to cal and hang out with her. doesn't she understand? we've all changed since then. you can't just call someone you haven't seen in years and haven't kept in touch with for years and all of a sudden expect to be best friends again, rite? anyway, last year i did meet up with my old best friend once here at cal. there's nothing awkward between us or anything, but we're just completely different ppl with different personalities, friends, interests, etc.
*laughs ruefully* looks like i let myself get a little out of hand there. i don't mean to be bitter, even if i do come off sounding it. thinking back, i think the whole "explanation" started with her asking why i didn't call my sister at the airport while she was waiting to go to the east coast to visit the big name private colleges she got into. i told her that i couldn't call because she (my sister) called me before i called her (my sister) and we were talking before she (my mom) called to interrupt and then tonite she (my mom) went into her "explanation" that i should really try harder to make an effort to care about my surroundings and be concerned about my family/sisters and that just because my sister got into better (and more) schools than i did that i shouldn't be jealous (? i don't remember what she said i started to tune her out but i think that's what she meant to say) or apathetic about it all. a few more minutes of "explanation" along the same lines while i tuned out and then she starts harping me on the roommate thing, i get annoyed, try to defend myself, get picked on some more, tune her out, she gets frustrated, gives the usual ultimatum ("i'll just leave you on your own from now on; i won't care anymore") and hung out.
beautiful ._.
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 09:23 p.m.Xx
Wednesday, April 3, 2002
random AIM conversation snippet between kisakichi & me:
k: I've been eating cookies, but for some reason they're just . . . not filling
so yes, thank you troy for giving me the ability to amuse ppl with utter bs. ^___^
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 10:14 p.m.Xx
Wednesday, April 3, 2002
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 10:13 p.m.Xx
Wednesday, April 3, 2002
still feeling a mixture of restlessness and fatigue, but i'm getting used to it again =)
this morning i woke up early just to go to the post office to run an errand, and it turns out they are just getting lazier and lazier. they used to be open 8-6, then 9-5, and now it's 10-6. gr... since i either have classes/wurk 10-6 or 8-7, it's practically impossible for me to go now. =/ darn them for being lazy *and* slow.
kisakichi, the taiwanese student association is showing "spirited away" this friday! they haven't announced the time or place yet, tho. and i dunno if i'll be able to go cuz i've a choir thing friday evening (we're singing the national anthem at a warriors game... and apparently it will be televised... -_-8 but at least i'm slightly tall enuf to be in the back row =&) oh... and let me know if you've any free time this weekend. =)
anyway... i lost my train of thought.
oh yes. i remember now. i love this picture... the artist's name seemed very familiar, then i realized that she draws tea club, a very cute and amusing comic. besides, it's about tea, need i say more? ^^,
currently playing on my list: hellsing OST. i really like the OP, and some of the rock tracks, and the piano tracks are nice too =)
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 07:09 p.m.Xx
Wednesday, April 3, 2002
...if you can, watch hellsing. it's good. i didn't think it would be, but it is. ^^,
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 12:58 p.m.Xx
Tuesday, April 2, 2002
it's too early to be awake =& i am not really liking this wake-up-at-7-in-the-morning bit... but it's econ and i must go. speaking of which, i finally have a tutor now, after being waitlisted for, i dunno, the *entire* semester up to this point. =b
oh yeah i'm afraid to touch coffee now since my last incident before spring break. last time i fancied myself an X chara; i'm just worried my next Bad Coffee Buzz will lead to much worse (all of a sudden puni puni poemi flashed in my mind... *shudder* or worse yet, those "mini-hamz" *double shudder*)
agh... must... be... shot... (why did i think of those dancing hamsters anyway?! @_@*) or better yet, i need to watch more hellsing. nothing like dark gothic bloody vampire goodness in an anime to purify myself from over-genkiness... i dunno... alucard (sans hat & glasses) ga chotto kakko ii...
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 07:45 a.m.Xx
Monday, April 1, 2002
paper done ^^* and it only took 2 hours. time to sleep. (note to self: watch coffee dosage in ~2.5 hrs)
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 06:37 a.m.Xx
Monday, April 1, 2002
another month begins... pity this health paper i have to write is no april fool's joke -_-8
xXsakusha constructed another kekkai at 02:08 a.m.Xx
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