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Saturday, August 5, 2000 |
www.dack.com is exactly what the web needs more of these days. Decidedly twisted, bitterly sarcastic, and often more on-point than your average issue of Time Magazine, the goods are there. My personal favorite plaything was the remarkably accurate web economy bullshit generator which slaps you silly with internet-related cliches/catch phrases you hear pounded into the dirt by the business world and elsewhere.
Oh yeah, he thinks Flash is, in his own words, "evil." I like Flash. Sort of. He makes some excellent points but I'm not going to abandon our bootleg copy of Flash yet. Still wanna try out some cool stuff with it. |
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Friday, August 4, 2000 |
Woman Eater
This is a disturbing world we live in, and sites like this one only add to the mix. First off, this site contains nudity. Not real nudity, mind you, but that’s not all you have to worry about if you don’t like to be offended. I’m speaking here of the concept. As if the name doesn’t give it away, this site has two galleries of women being eaten. We’re talking cannibals, dinosaurs, mutant plants, etc. That’s right. Women being eaten. Most of the images are disturbing and I elected not to download the .avi files, although you’re more than welcome to do so (just be sure to leave them precariously on the desktop of some co-worker you despise). Oh yeah. You do NOT want to get caught by anyone while you look at this site. Particularly women. There’s just no way you can explain it. For those of you too chicken to peruse the portfolio, I have selected one of the most disturbing images and all you have to do is click away here and you will get a taste. The guy who puts this page together is actually a very talented artist when it comes to computer art, but bear in mind that many famous artists were insane. This one may not be famous, but he certainly is insane. I can only imagine what his relationship with women is like. She thinks he’s staring at her, ahem, chest, and all the while, he’s picturing her being popped into the open mouth of an over-sized venus flytrap. So check this out, really. It will spook your entire day. |
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Thursday, August 3, 2000 |
We seem to have a surplus of couches in South Carolina. I drive to and from work everyday on the same two roads (I take two routes because one is more convenient going and the other is convenient returning) and every day, invariably, I will see a couch left on the curb for immediate disposal ("immediate" in this case meaning, "after at least one month"). I saw two going to work this morning (or rather, I was going to work. I'm certain the couches weren't going anywhere for the time being) and one as I returned. Couches. If you want some, come to North Augusta, South Carolina. Apparently we have them in bulk and we don't mind giving them away. | ||
Wednesday, August 2, 2000 |
I am taking an emergency vacation to Beaufort, working on a lot of twig art, eating a lot of shrimp. -- Sir Mildred Pierce
If you see my japanese teacher, tell her 'sumimasen', but her email is rejecting all incoming email. |
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Wednesday, August 2, 2000 |
supertoys.gif
We have waaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy too many toys sitting in the graphics department here at Supercoups. Is this a job or a playroom? Most of the toys essentially belong to Carrie (my boss) but it's not her fault. The people who sell the ads which we then create send her candy, balloons, and toys. It's like we're five years old again. Does this sound like I'm complaining? I'm not. Oh yeah, this is directly off the scanner bed. I just arranged the toys in an attractive fashion and zapped 'em. The monkey belongs to one of the big bosses, Rick. If you press its hand, it says cute things like "You're a genius," "Great idea," and "That's awesome." The wrestler is named Buzzsaw and he says "You're goin' down!" "Body slam!" and "Pain is my middle name!" if you throw him hard on the table (or if you're feeling fiesty, at a co-worker). The purple, goateed thingy is Frisco. Somebody braided his hair (yeah- we stay busy here) and if you slam him on the table, he says "Awesome dude!" "Bummer!" and "No problem man!" He's resembles Mildred Pierce in many ways. I'm going to make everyone else start calling him Mildred. Oh yeah... As for the yellow and orange things. I have no idea what they are. They're either pom poms, or dish scrubbers. Maybe you can tell me. As for the orange sea horse, we have two of them. They're plastic, and as far as we can tell, are purely decorative. Also included in our last package from a salesperson (heretoforth referred to as A.E. or "Ad Exexcutive") were two party hats and two noise makers like you'd get on New Years Eve. All of this makes for quite the professional and somber work environment. So, we are so busy at work today that I have written this entire update on my computer here. After this I think I'll scan some pics for my webpage. |
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Wednesday, August 2, 2000 |
I had this odd dream last night that I was for some reason attending high school again. What I mean by this, is that I was sitting in home room on the first day, and I was the same age I am now (26) surrounded by 15 and 14 year olds and laughing as the teacher read off the ridiculous crap that passed for rules when I was in high school (of course, I did the same thing when I actually attended high school, but that’s another story). It was surreal and makes me wonder what it would be like to do it in real life. There are so many things I always wanted to do and say and either didn’t have the guts, or didn’t think of them until years later. And besides, I’d ace my classes now. Oh yeah. I’m signing up tomorrow. Whoo ha! | ||
Tuesday, August 1, 2000 |
See what happens when Mr. T ends up in the Black Mesa Compound... | ||
Tuesday, August 1, 2000 |
The Guess the Dictator or Sitcom Character Game Is a cool little program that pretty much writes itself. This program is obviously based on the Guess the Animal decision-tree program that is ages old. (I have come across this program on the internet before but I can't seem to find a link to it now...)—kudos to Kristy from Doldrums.]
This is found on a website called The Road to Nowhere which is touted as being a place "where you can spend a lot of time, and when you're done, have nothing to show for it." And I am sure there is a lot of other cool stuff there, but I need to do something productive like play some Half-Life... |
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Monday, July 31, 2000 |
Hey! What if it was a scale model of a rickshaw? That would fit in your desk... | ||
Monday, July 31, 2000 |
Sometimes I feel really anti-social. Now I have a new outlet. www.pigfarmer.com is the best place I know of to vent your pig farming/societal/golf-related frustrations. Simply put, this site is the defense page for Sally Struthers and her- WAIT! NO! Sorry... pigfarmer.com is a defense page for a pig farmer in Florida who was sued by a golf course that set up shop next door and then became enraged that there was this... uh, this... this smell... that smell of, you know, pigs and stuff. Oh yeah, the farmer blasts country music at the pigs because it somehow makes the meat tender. This is based on a time-honored tradition dating back to the Middle Ages when impoverished pig farmers, slaving tirelessly for the feudal lords who lived a pure life of luxury off the yield of the pig farmer's toils, would help tenderize the pigs with a constant barrage of Hank Williams Jr. Here's a quote from the site:
"We want to hear from anyone who has heard of this practice or is actively playing music to a large number of animals." Well, I'm guilty as charged. Not a day goes by that I don't play music to a large number of animals. The Florida government ruled in his favor because the golf course knew he was there when they built and he's not breaking any laws by having smelly pigs. In fact, you'd think people would expect the pigs to smell. You never hear anyone saying "My oh my your pigs smell good!" (Well, you do hear people saying this, but that's usually a dead-giveaway that you're in a fetish-related chatroom and so you high-tail it out of there) The entire escapade reminds me of the etoy/eToys debacle. How bizzare how bizzare. One last note: I do have a big rickshaw. I'll see you at the fair! |
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Monday, July 31, 2000 |
I am not sure where this odd notion that unless you vote Republican or Democrat you are wasting your vote. But I suspect that it is a notion that has been slowly engrained into us by those two parties via the media. So E_B_A has broken down and decided that he will 'waste' his vote on the Libertarian candidate this year (which is Harry Browne of course) which is a good step in the right direction for him, being a closet libertarian (he is! he agrees with the party on every major issue.. "conservative republican" my foot.) www.lp.org
I don't have TV, I don't know what this Big Brother thing is, but it sounds like a bad version of the Real World show on MTV (not that there is a good version of the Real World.) But, If you have a TV, I would suggest to you that you not watch this show. (I do hope, though, that shows like this will hasten the eventual destruction of television in favor of the more superior medium that is the internet.) btw--You would need a mighty big desk to fit a rickshaw in it. (On the other hand you would need a mighty big rickshaw to fit a desk in it...) |
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Sunday, July 30, 2000 |
Today's word is "rickshaw." Be sure to inject it at inappropriate times during conversation from now on.
A helpful example: or "Excuse me boss but I found a rickshaw in my desk." or (ideally) "Excuse me boss but I found my desk in a rickshaw." Rickshaw. Use it well. On a more realistic note, I've come to the painful decision that I may just vote Libertarian in this year's election. My slow and agonizing choice is the result of this year's major-party candidates who, and I speak as a conservative Republican of many years here, appear to have been placed as some kind of celestial joke. Originally I had considered voting for Dave Berry who really does run for president every election (and gets more and more votes each time) but I was only thinking of doing that so I could purposely waste my vote as a statement of a disillusioned member of the voting community. Then I remembered that there's no better way to waste your vote than to vote Libertarian and I was sold. Now I should probably find out some important things about the candidate like where he/she stands on the issues and what their name is. |
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Sunday, July 30, 2000 |
A quick note to those of you who are playing along at home. If your roommate has left the house with an unfinished game of Half Life minimized on his desktop and you carelessly forget that this requires complete access of the sound card and make the fatal decision to open Music Match to listen to your favorite playlist, you will enact a special function on the computer in question. This function does all sorts of flashy things like bringing up very scary windows in techy DOS-looking styles which say creepy things like "FATAL ERROR IN CENTRAL PROCESSOR," "ABORTING CAPACITY MELTDOWN," and "ERASING ALL DATA/BEGIN EXECUTION OF PUNY HUMAN LIFEFORMS." So be sure to try that out, kids. Mildred will tell you "Rushmore" is a good and funny film, but he's lying. He also dropped jelly on the "4" key of his keyboard so typing the number "4" is odd because it feels like it doesn't work but it does and that makes me wanna keep hitting it until it does but since it does, typing the number "4" comes out 4444444444444 (and typing that may help loosen it up so... 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4). John and I watched "The Green Slime" and I can't begin to tell you how good it was. The reason I can't begin to tell you how good it is would be because it's just not good. It's the opposite of good (bad) and it scares me that it ever got made. That is all. Well, not exactly... 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4. I like to type the number "4." Yay! |
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Saturday, July 29, 2000 |
Truly genius art. www.explodingdog.com... Send in him a title and he will draw a picture for that title. Presentation is wonderful in that you see the title before you see the picture, and after seeing the picture more often than not a profound sense of irony and relavance sets in.
I should have bought that new TV what the hell is floating in my coffee i decided it was best to leave --- Oh yeah, and there are lots of robots, but no monkeys, don't even ask him to draw a monkey... |
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Friday, July 28, 2000 |
Well.. first real entry, just trying it out mostly..
I want one of these. :) Anyways.. I didn't say I was going to take Dancing Queen off of the list... I said I was going to DELETE IT FROM MY HARD DRIVE!!! ;) |
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Friday, July 28, 2000 |
www.utilitycamo.com Okay, Ronald McDonald is a man dressed up like a clown, Grimace is whatever the heck Barney the dinosaur is, Hamburgler is just a guy in prison clothes, Mayor McCheese is a human with a Big Mac for a head, and Birdie is a bird. I can accept all of this. But what the heck are the fry guys? They look like pom-poms with legs and eyes. Don't tell me they are french fries either! Green french fries? I sure won't eat there. And speaking of McDonald's characters, is it disturbing the way those animated Chicken McNuggets beg to be eaten or what? Creepy. Or perhaps I spend too much time thinking about this stuff. Nah... Oh yeah, "Sir" Mildred wants to delete "Dancing Queen" by Abba off his list of mp3s. I grew up listening to Abba and as far as I'm concerned, this is the quintessential Abba song. It's tantamount to saying "phooey" to "Lucy And The Sky With Diamonds" (unless it's the cheesy Shatner version) or "blah" to "Stairway to Heaven" (which to be fair, I'm not a big fan of). Well, he's just plain wrong and he will be stopped. Oh yes. Vengeance will be mine. |
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