 |
|
|
  |
|||
Tuesday, October 3, 2000 |
You know what's missing from this year's presidential election commercials? Hardcore pornography.
And lots of it. Rats. On that note, let me point you to fucked company, your first stop on the internet for dot com layoff news. Not only is the domain name incredible, the concept and the information provided is great, provided senseless profanity doesn't offend you. Oh yeah... Rats. Thank you. |
||
Thursday, September 28, 2000 |
I gotta put my two cents in on this whole Dr. Laura mess. I'm sure you were waiting patiently, praying I would contribute my opinion, and becoming steadily impatient as I withheld it, so wait no longer.
See, this is a sticky situation for me on multiple levels. For one thing, my mother loves Dr. Laura, and I think the good doctor is an ammoral whore with moderate talk radio talent (that's right kids, she can pronounce her 'S' without blowing in the mic, and Howard Stern can do that!) and little else. She berates her callers, refuses to listen to them, and preaches morality while failing to live up to the same standards herself. That said, I do agree with some, not all, of Dr. Laura's ideology, not because I have listened to her show, but it just so happens to jibe uncomfortably close to my beliefs (the same can also be said, sometimes, for Rush Limbaugh and Austin Rhodes, both of which I consider to be loathesome invertabrates with oversized egos). Now, regardless of your and my feelings about gay rights, the issue is not whether her opinion is justifiable or not. All that matters is that she has the freedom to proclaim it to an audience that obviously must want to hear it given her massive take in the daytime radio circuit. Is she right? Who cares!? It's still a 1st Amendment issue, and as odd as it is to see Conservative Republicans rallying for free speech (in light of their feelings towards Marilyn Manson, Eminem, and 2 Live Crew, to name a few), we still must respect Dr. Laura's opinion just as you would want yours respected and heard and I am expecting you to listen to mine. Nobody made you come to this weblog, and last time I checked, "Must See TV" was only a catch-phrase dreamed up by aspiring simian poets (would "Aspiring Simian Poets" make a cool band name or what?). So there you have it. Now if we can only remind these protesters about this entire debate when another shock artist or personality rears their ugly head in the media. |
||
Thursday, September 28, 2000 |
iliekmilk.com Further evidence that free domain names will legitimize anything. "My other intrests includes milk produckts. chesees, youghurt, ect... also naked womens. Maybe combine both!!!!! hohoho!!! Also i liek beers. I liek SEX" [sic] |
||
Thursday, September 28, 2000 |
Whats with the cow-girl motif on Madonna's New Album?
Well, I am really pissed off about this whole Raducan thing. You know, that poor romanian gymnist who had her gold medal taken away from her becuase she took some non-performance-enhancing cold medicine. But don't worry, I'll spare you the rant because I'm all ranted out from ranting about it in my other weblog. Now excuse me while I go download Madonna's new album. |
||
Thursday, September 28, 2000 |
Okay... tension in the work place. Cgi scripts don't like me or my website. Who wants to cry for me? | ||
Tuesday, September 26, 2000 |
I was gonna eat some Chinese food tonight, but after checking out the Zaxby's website I changed my mind.
Zaxby's is a quickly growing chain of restaurants that started right here in Disgusta, GA and has blossomed into a successful enterprise because their food is incredible. Anyway, their site is worth checking out for the decent flash intro and also these really cool chicken pictures: cowboy chickenAnd I'd like to add at this point that "insane chicken" would make a great name for a band. Now I leave you so I can go eat some chicken. |
||
Tuesday, September 26, 2000 |
Haven't written much lately, been more in a visual mood, been working on other stuff. Been waiting on word about a job, and that just kicks ya. Hmm.. what can I link up? Check out rape the face. Its a weblog with an open password, so anyone can write in it. | ||
Sunday, September 24, 2000 |
You know what really pisses me off about the Georgia Lottery?
No, this isn't some namby pamby moral posturing about how it's wrong to engage in games of chance. I'm not gonnna mention how it shows a certain lack of intelligence to plunk down hard-earned money on a piece of paper that means nothing. I'm not gonna reply to people who say that it's fun that there's nothing more fun than filling out an ugly orange Scan-Tron and handing it to a clerk. I'm not gonna mention how the people who play it the most are the people who can afford it the least. I'm not gonna mention that 1 in ten million is darn close to 0 in ten million. I'll tell you what really pisses me off about the Georgia Lottery. I FRIGGING HATE waiting behind some slow jerk with mayonaisse for brains patiently filling in bubbles at the register while a clerk who's nails are near fifteen inches long punches buttons at the speed of what appears to be stop-action photography into a stupid lotto machine as if both of these jackasses are competing to see who can move the slowest, all while I stand in line to pay for my gas! That's what I hate about the Georgia Lottery. Okay, I watched the end of The Matrix with Void and Mildred last night, and it was just as mediocre as I remember it when I was in the theater. The difference was, I started noticing all the plot holes and curious problems with the story. I know I'm going to piss a great many people off by saying this, but The Matrix was not the great movie everyone else treats it as. I mean, it's not a bad movie, but too many people I know and/or encounter on the web seem to hold it up above the cinematic muck of late as if it were the anthemic rebellion film of our generation. Well, for one thing, the plot was done earlier and much better in the brilliant Dark City and repeating it here, much less for two sequals (you read that correctly) is just pointless. Moreover, I have to ask, "Is this our Rebel Without A Cause?" Is this the film that millions of people look up to and inspire themselves to be their own person? Will we look back at it years later and claim it was a groundbreaking film that influenced people and changed the course of lives? Probably not. However, Fight Club on the other hand is such a film, and it amazes me that it was not better received given the subject matter, target audience, star power, and so forth. As Mildred Pierce pointed out when the three of us discussed this very subject last night, maybe it's better that way. Maybe it's fortunate that only a select few realize the quality and recognize the staying power while the cattle cling to the crap (pardon the alliteration). Well, now that you've been riled up, or are agreeing, or don't care, take on the day! Dag. Did I just use Dr. Laura's stupid catch-phrase? Maybe you shouldn't listen to anything I say. |
||
Friday, September 22, 2000 |
I'm sort of sick today (let's just leave it at: "Something I ate doesn't agree with me," and I won't go into details. I promise.) so I really didn't want to come into work today, and since I hafta work tomorrow at the regular time, I'm just not thrilled about this weekend.
Anyway, I just wanted to mention that someone was shot and killed at the Highlander, Tuesday. The Highlander is a bar located about two minutes away from where Mildred and I live. There goes the neighborhood. Sorry. It's tragic whenever a human life is taken, but it's even more tragic and a wee bit sobering when it happens next door. My buddy John (BrakYeller) lived two houses down from an elderly couple that was murdered in their home due to some shady business dealings. Usually I would have some sort of poignant observation to make about this, but I'm just not feeling great so if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna get back to work. |
||
Thursday, September 21, 2000 |
I just arrived back at Supercoups from McDonalds with lunch in tow. I had to take this moment to reflect on the young lady who took my order. She had a pretty face, and would have been quite radient even under the uniform and whatnot of McDonalds, however she had a face sprinkled with freckles. Now the freckles themselves were not a problem, but apparently she was ashamed of them, because she had apparently spent many hours applying face cream (with a trowl) in a desperate attempt to conceal them. What she probably did not realize was that, under the hot, white lights of McDonalds, her freckles shone under the cream like little black spots. The cream had made her face pale but did not truly conceal them, so the freckles contrasted even more against her skin, making her appear to be a victim of a blast of black spray paint to the face or something. It looked horrible.
As I said before, she was a very attractive young lady, and I could picture her with her freckles revealed, and still she would be a very pretty girl. What makes someone so attractive think so badly of themselves that they mutilate their beauty for the sake of beauty? Well, to be unfair, this is mainly women trying to live up to man's image of "the perfect woman" and it's our own blasted, sexist, perverse fault for that. I say this because nearly every man I know (and I know at least five) always imagines themselves as the epitome of studliness, even if they have to comb over their remaining eight hairs, so that their head appears to be a giant, pink Easter egg in the clutches of a spider. They could sport form-fitting T-Shirts stained with at least five different colors of sauce, and gently conforming to at least five different rolls of fat with little tufts of chest and back hair protruding from every available hole in the fabric, yes they could appear this way and still be convinced that somehow, women find them irresistable when in reality, women find them to be ogling jerks. Women, on the other hand, can be skinny, well-shaped, and attractive yet convinced they actually resemble Lon Cheney as the Werewolf, only with somewhat more facial hair. Men are ugly, filthy, disgusting, horny jerks. And they pick their noses at the stoplight. There. I said it. And I'm proud I said it. Proud, I tell you. Proud. |
||
Wednesday, September 20, 2000 |
In case you didn't know, Badtz-Maru is also a DEEJAY... Check him out layin' down some phat beatz. |
||
Wednesday, September 20, 2000 |
I'd just like to point out that, after reviewing my website statistics, I realize that people are going to my essay I wrote about being spanked, not because they have some interest in the way my mother punished me as a child, but only because they are perverted bastards in search of some kinky pics, of which I have none to offer.
Now that I got that out of my system, I'd like to mention that I hope to be as good a D.J. as Super Greg one day. Since the Invisibl Skratch Piklz are breaking up, he's probably the only thing standing in my way, preventing me from winning next year's DMC finals. I'm keeping my fingers crossed (not that I scratch that way). After all, Super Greg sure looks dope in his form-fitting sweat suit and menacing Unabrow. I bet he cuts up Abba like nobody's business. I'm done fer now... I guess. |
||
Monday, September 18, 2000 |
As promised, the trip photos from Illinois and Ohio.
I won't bore you folks with pictures I took of my family and things of that nature. I won't even bog you down with link after link of photos even if they are almost all interesting. I'll just give you the best of the best, the cream of the crop, the pick of the litter, the Spam of the Cornflakes, the hair of the nostrils, the, er... uh... sorry... Okay, if you ever want to know what you can see when you drive through rural Southern Illinois, take a gander at this great photo of your typical scenery: typical illinois scenery photo But before we could get to Illinois, we had to cross the Ohio River. Most people do this easily with the help of a bridge, but since this is rural Illinois, they have a ferry. Here's a photo of my mother on the ferry with Illinois seen clearly in the background: my mother on the ferry I'd show you more photos of Illinois, but how many pictures of corn and livestock does one need to see in their life? So we'll move briskly along to my trip to the United States Air Force Museum, located in beautiful Dayton Ohio and conveniently near rundown hotels and bad housing. Dayton is home to the Wright Brothers, and I learned all about them (For example: it turns out Orville doesn't sell popcorn. That's somebody else.) from this very creepy mannequin missing one hand and staring at you with a blank face devoid of features were it not for the projection of a real man's face narrating the story of the Wright family. I can't begin to describe the myrid ways this exhibit is disturbing but if you can imagine a completly motionless amputee with a film-projected face standing perfectly still before you, jabbering about how Wilbur liked to ride his bike as a kid, then you can get a pretty decent mental image of this atrocity. After that, you can't help but laugh at the flight simulation unit developed around World War I. It appears to work fine, provided you put a quarter in it just like the ones outside the grocery store. Moving along, I took some pretty cool shots of spacemen like this overhead spacewalker, the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz ("Oilcan! Oilcan!"), a super duper speeder-mounted astronaut (as seen in the NOVA documentary "Return of the Jedi"), and the unforgettable "Open the Pod Bay doors, HAL," 2001 space suit guy. I also took this unretouched photo of an American bomber from World War II. Apparently skulls were a big turn on for sexist men during this time. That's about all I have to share for my week-long trip to Illinois and Ohio. If you feel like you've been robbed of exciting tales of intrigue and suspense, I have to confess that there were none, give for the daring daylight bank robbery with the Siamese Twin white slavery traders during the plutonium spill on the whorehouse. But that's another story for another day. I do have this cool link though: www.searchbastard.com is a new search engine with a twist. While some search engines provide helpful portals with which to browse information related to topics you may require assistance with, searchbastard.com has taken the liberty of providing the same data, packaged with gratutious profanity and a real "Screw you" attitude that made me want to cry (in a bad way). Hey, the internet is not a pretty place, folks. |
||
Saturday, September 16, 2000 |
Well, this is my last night in Ohio and so I don't really have much to say except that it's my last day in Ohio.
We had lots of fun at the Air Force Museum and I'll be sure to post photos with commentary as well as stuff about the trip as a whole when I get back home and download the pics off my camera. Adios, Dayton! You've been grand. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to try and cap a little before I go to bed. |
||
Saturday, September 16, 2000 |
Here is something I ganked from misterpants.com:
Mc Hawking -- I bet you never knew that Steven Hawking was a rapper, too, did you? Check out such hip-hop classics like Crazy as Fuck, The Mighty Stephen Hawking, and Fuck the Creationists... Hawking is Wack! |
||
Saturday, September 16, 2000 |
Why haven't I update in a few days? Because I have been drawing stupid pictures at isketch.net... Try it, you'll like it, it is addictive tho, and I hear Barry McCaffrey is considering cracking down on it. | ||
Saturday, September 16, 2000 |
I just want to say the Olympics rock! The opening ceremonies were phat! That little girl was toocool, That aborignal torchbearer was hot! The lighting of the torch was just pretty cool because it was like a suprise, she lit the fire on water and the torch lifted up around her and it was just really cool. (Where does one get a football field sized blanket anyway?) The events are so dramatic, I swear they got Stephen Spieldberg to direct the olypmpics. The music that camera angels the slowed motion stuff. What is really cool is the cameras that move with the atheletes, especially the ones for diving that go down real fast and go into the water at the same time as the diver. Sodamncool!
I was pretty disappointed that I didn't get to watch them live but oh well, I live in a country that says that if it isn't shown between the hours of 8pm and 11pm then it isn't legitimate... Oh well... I guess it gives them time to edit it all up real good. |
||
Saturday, September 16, 2000 |
Lets see... I haven't updated in a few days... Oh my! And looks like E_B_A managed to get some updates while he was in Indiana or Idaho or wherever he is..
I remembered what I forgot a few days ago. It was doodie.com! Its a really funny comic thing that has poop in every episode. He updates almost everyday. My favorites are the Noah's Ark one, the one with the Alien and the Cat, and um.. oh yeah the poop in the box... If you like those check out the poop drawing my former work-mate from Borders did at come.to/thepoop... |
||
Thursday, September 14, 2000 |
Turns out my father's eye problems were caused by a mysterious black fuzz he somehow got into his eye and, later, under his upper eyelid (OUCH!) which would explain the irritation.
We have no idea as to the origin of the aforementioned black fuzz (most people don't naturally acrue black fuzz under their eyelids) (well maybe the Muppets) (and Jimi Hendrix) so I have assembled the following theories as to its humble beginnings, and will enclose them here for your perusal: The black fuzz resulted from my father ramming large, fluffly, black towels under his eyelids to reduce annoying eye wetness.I'm certain you can come up with great reasons the fuzz was in his eyes. Moreover, I think you should leave the previous sentence on the answering machine of everyone you know: "Hey Bob! Call me! I need to borrow money! I'm certain you can come up with great reasons the fuzz was in his eyes!" *CLICK!*Fuzz in the eyes. Contemplate it. Now. And don't ever stop. If you, the viewer at home, know the real reason my father's eye became innundated with black fuzz, please drop me a line. |
||
Thursday, September 14, 2000 |
www.gorewillsayanything.com
This is a somewhat funny (at least it amuses me) website set up by the Republican Party. It outright bashes our pompous Vice President by reminding us of all the ridiculous things he's said during his term and campaign. The second ad is the one I've seen and it's actually amusing, with somewhat wry comments. Although I still refuse to vote for Bush, anything bashing Gore is good in my book (bearing in mind that my book is three chapters long, and two of those are about Lime Jell-O.) The domain name is great too. Oh yeah. They have clips. Can't wait to get home and download 'em! |
||
Thursday, September 14, 2000 |
Here I am in Ohio (after a few days in Illinois). The family is trying to relax (well, okay, "trying" implies resistance and thus far, aside from occasional whining by Tyler, the only resistance we've encountered is my Father's sudden attack of eye-hurting, or something like that. Conjunctivitus? Conjuctive junctive what's your functive? I dunno...) (anyway...) and we're doing grand.
Friday, we'll be going to this air craft museum (I don't remember the name) that I used to visit all the time when I lived in Columbus, so I'm looking forward to a real trip down memory lane. Oh yeah, I have to thank Mildred for hooking me up with Lies My Teacher Told Me, which is a remarkable book about American History and it has changed my perspective on many things. Yeah, now I understand a great deal of how the world got so screwed up (turns up it's the white man's fault) (who's surprised?) (not me). Anyway, I'll try and get some updates posted while I'm here in Ohio before we leave Sunday to go back to the cesspool that is Augusta, Georgia. Yeah baby! |
||
|
