Andy's thoughts

No Love
Monday May 13, 2002. I keep reading peoples Pita's. Everyone from my brothers Scott and Brad, to Erin who probably doesnt even know i have a Pita. All I see is depressed sad pita's. Everyone is bummed about something. Now there is only about 5 weeks left of school. Im not going to spend my last 5 weeks of school with my close friends being depressed about some shit. You guys may not consider me a good friend because you dont see me at partys, or you dont talk to me constantly. But to me, you are all my new amaizing friends. Alot of you are leaving next year. I dont want you to go, but you are. Scott i will miss you soo much bro, you have no idea how much you have made a difference in my life. you are like a brother, And im not going to see you sad at all for the rest of the year. I DONT JUST WANT, BUT NEED EVERYONE TO PICK THEMSELFS UP. I WONT WASTE THIS. I MAY NEVER SEE SOME OF YOU AGAIN, SO IM NOT WASTEING MY TIME. I dont care if i have to make a complete ass of myself infront of the whole school just to make you all friends, and happy. I love you all like my family.

Montreal
Sunday may 12, 2002. I have been in Montreal the last 5 days. I got home today and gave my mom a big kiss and hug because its mothers day and her birthday. Then I started thinking of Kyla. Montreal has made me realize how special she is to me. Even walking down a street holding her hand gives me so much happyness. I cant explain it.

not in a while
Sunday May 5th 2002 I havent writen in a while. Me and dad played 9 today at the gentlemen's club. It was okay. Then came home and wrote an email to Kyla. I should probably stop callind her "her" and just use her name. Everyday im finding that she more special to me as each second passes. I keep seeing the American Eagle Outfitters comerial. The one where the girl and guy meet in the middle of the street. And now i have that theme music stuck in my head. A well. I havent kissed Kyla yet, and i dont know why. I will, but i dont wana mess anything up between us.

Another day
May 1st 2002 So me and her arent official yet. She asked me about it last night, but i said give it a few more days. See i had a plan, but now i saw screw it, and ill just make up for it later. Im really tired right now, i was fine today at school. Its a wednesday, which means i have to work out, but i dont really want to. I have to though if i want to become a firefighter.

FREAK OUT
april 30th, 2002 Went to school. Finished independant study for computer programing. Easy as pie. Fucked up in drama doing my scene with Lindsey. Think shes pissed, but i dont care. Had a chem test. Easy as pie. But i was the stupid moron thinking that hydrocloric acid was HClO3 instead of it being HCl. so i lost marks there. I freaked out a little over her. Starting thinking to myself "do i really like her" and shit like that. But i do. So its okay. I do that for some reason. Whats up with that? Talked to her quite abit today. Im not afraid of me not likeing her, But her not likeing me. Thats probably my main concern right now.

One of those days.
april 28th 2002 Wake up this morning. Make some eggs. Man they are good. Dad is golfing like always. Then he comes home an lectures me on how i need to study more when i already have for 2 hours. Im not like him. I cant sit down and do work all day. Hes on the computer all afternoon doing taxes. Then he prints everying off. There is alot of paper being printed. It takes about an hour to print everything. Then he looks at the papers. Reads it and says "i still dont think thats right, ill take another shot at it after supper." and rips all the paper into two. WHAT A FUCKER. i mean thats alot of paper. couldnt he have just made sure it was all right on the screen before he printed his shit. I mean what a waste. Mom is in a good mood today. Thank the lord. Dad just asked me to open a bottle of some sort of drink because he couldnt, not strong enough. It was some kind of alchocol. Not his usual Scotch and water tonight, or wine. He never gets drunk, but usually has a drink or two. She went to a music concert today out of town so we couldnt hang out. But thats okay, i had work to do. I'm pretty sure she will call. But you never know. She has told me she has feelings for me. And well i told her that i have feelings for her. She wants to be alot more than just friends. And well i do to. Im sure that soon enough we will be an item. I worked out today. Normally i go monday, wednesday, friday and rest the weekend. But tomarrow night i will be quite busy studying for chem. So i had to work out today. I did the usual routeen. Im on week 3 or the 1 step. it goes for 9 weeks in total. I had worked out alot before i started this routeen, so i have to modify the first step a little. Mainly adding more weight. My brother being the un responsible ass he is leaves his big science homework for tonight. He needs the comp. and my dad needs it for taxes. What a world. Tomarrow im almost positive i will have to fix the computer. I always do. They have no idea about some of the shit they are messing with is. God my family can piss me off sometimes. It hasnt been as bad as it was early in the year 2002. But its still a little bad. AND THE MINISTRY OF TRANSPORTATION IS STILL ON STRIKE SO I CANT GET MY G2. FUCKERS GO BACK TO WORK. YOU HAVE ALREADY RUINED 2 PLANS I HAD THAT WE ACTUALLY IMPORTANT. THE STUPID FUCKS! Ziggy zaggy ziggy zaggy oI oI oI!

Complications
April 27, 2002 Man im tired. I look at the clock on the computer and its 12:46. I look at the can of pop in my left hand and pray to god that in 5 years that wont be a beer. Sitting at home drinking by myself ALONE. i hate that word. ALONE. makes me quiver. Little do many know that its my worst fear. That i will forever be alone in this cruel world. I met someone. Someone so special and amaizing. Im pretty sure she feels the same way and we are getting really close really fast. She asks me to prom. I have to say no due to a certian matter. I want to say yes, yet i cant. I know that soon enough things may be right. Im golfing with my dad today. doing really well, and all i can think about is her. I make an powerful and long drive. its right down the fairway. I should be stoked, but all i can think about is her beautiful face. My mom notices i have my Comforter and 2 pillows up stairs. she knows i had friends over. 2 in which were girls. She doesnt trust me one bit now does she. What am i not trust worthy. In 16 years have i not proven myself to her.