| Another Day To Scratch Off The Calender |
| DANCING IN THE DARK
...I get up in the evening
and I ain't got nothing to say
.I come home in the morning
I go to bed feeling the same way
.I ain't nothing but tired
.Man I'm just tired and bored with myself
.Hey there baby, I could use just a little help
...You can't start a fire
.You can't start a fire without a spark
.This gun's for hire
.even if we're just dancing in the dark
...Message keeps getting clearer
.radio's on and I'm moving 'round the place
.I check my look in the mirror
.I wanna change my clothes, my hair, my face
.Man I ain't getting nowhere,
I'm just living in a dump like this
.There's something happening somewhere
baby I just know that there is
...You can't start a fire
.you can't start a fire without a spark
This gun's for hire,
.even if we're just dancing in the dark
...You sit around getting older
there's a joke here somewhere and it's on me
.I'll shake this world off my shoulders
come on baby this laugh's on me
...Stay on the streets of this town
and they'll be carving you up alright
.They say you gotta stay hungry,
hey baby I'm just about starving tonight
.I'm dying for some action,
.I'm sick of sitting 'round here trying to write this book
.I need a love reaction,
come on now baby gimme just one look
...You can't start a fire sitting 'round crying over a broken heart,
.This gun's for hire
.Even if we're just dancing in the dark,
.You can't start a fire worrying about your little world falling apart
.This gun's for hire
...Even if we're just dancing in the dark,
.Even if we're just dancing in the dark
.......Lyrics by Bruce Springsteen
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'Keepin the Streets Safe' in South Korea on:
Monday, November 19, 2001; 10:57 p.m.
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| DISCLAIMER: This page is solely intended for me to vent and is not intended to cause anyone embarrassment or administer guilt of any kind towards anyone. It’s early Saturday morning and I just returned from a few precious hours away. The trip itself was good, but my emotion state in the wake of my departure has taken on some damage. During the past few months I did and said some things to someone that I really can’t seem to take back or really forgive myself for doing in the first place. Although it has never been my true intention to purposely hurt anyone, unfortunately that’s what has happened. This story actually makes more sense if you know a little something about me and my upbringing. Many years ago when I was a kid, I grew up in a well disciplined home. It wasn’t a strict home like most, but it was a real well disciplined home. My older brother and I got physically beat for the little things we did wrong on a regular basis. We got beatings as regular as clockwork. I don’t blame or hate my father for anything or resent the way in which I was raised. I totally understand why he did the things that he did. He really didn’t know any better. He raised us the same way his father had raised him, with an iron fist. As a matter of fact we grew up in the exact same house and farm that he was raised on. The result of growing up in such an environment, I learned quickly that I could take almost any form of physical pain and punishment he could possibly dish out. We lived on a small 5-acre farm that had a large shop on the backside of the property. When my brother and I were bad, which was usually pretty often, we’d get sent out to the shop to wait for a beating. My father used to prolong the agony by often making us wait hours for him to come out to beat us. My father’s instrument of choice was a freshly ripped off switch from one of the almond trees along the way to the shop. During the winter months when the trees were dormant and he had already stripped all the low hanging tree branches on previous episodes, he resorted to boards, and at a last resort he used his belt or a rope of some kind. My brother and I much rather preferred a belt or rope because it didn’t cut into our skin like a switch or leave deep bruises like a board. A belt only left welts and welts usually healed the same day. My brother and I almost always got beat together, either because it was something we both did or forgot to do or because it was something that absolute guilt couldn’t be established, so my father beat us both to ensure the guilty person was properly punished. During our often-long wait in the shop, I’d make good use of the time and quickly hide any boards or rope I saw lying around in plain site or along the way. My father was the manager of a lumberyard, so our property always had an abundance of spare wood and rope lying around, which made things difficult to hide. We usually opened several of the shop’s doors and windows so we could hear when he was finally coming for us. When my father did finally arrive, he would quickly go around the shop’s interior and close all doors and windows, so nobody could hear us scream. I used to take full advantage of that moment and somewhat drift behind my brother's frame, knowing he is going to grab the closed one of us as soon as he’s finished closing up everything. That was one big advantage to having an ignorant brother; he never really caught on to my little tactics. I usually counted how many lashes he received, cause I usually got about 2-3 blows less than he did. I guess it was cause I was younger, I received a little less punishment than he did. Plus, it didn't help that a majority of the times we got beat were a result of something he did and he wouldn't own up to it. We used to average anywhere between 10-16 lashes and sometimes my brother even got it twice if he failed to show adequate response to the pain. That was usually no problem for me; I could act out an academy award wining performance to pain. I often started screaming and crying way before I even got hit, just to make sure he knew I was in pain. I think that’s probably the real reason I usually got a little less punishment than my brother, I wasn’t afraid to show my response to pain. . The only thing I really hated about getting beat by him was depending on the severity of our deed; we often had to strip to get beat. There’s really nothing worse than getting a severe beating when your naked. That kinda takes away all your dignity and adds a whole new flavor of humility to the over all situation. Although in today’s standards, I don’t approve of his methods or agree with them at all, but I do understand them. Times were different back then and it really taught me how to endure large amounts of physical punishment. The one thing that I didn’t learn to accept or endure was emotional pain. Physical pain happens quickly and usually heals in no time. Cuts and bruises don’t really hurt that much after they have been inflicted. I let very few people get really close to me, and those are the only ones that can really hurt me in the inside. I’m not a wimp by any degree, but I have a real soft side for a select few and they are usually all women. I had a girlfriend some time ago that totally exploited my weakness. She took great sport in carving out my insides. Since then, if a situation involving a person I care about gets tense and I feel damage occurring inside, I usually retreat right away. I’m quick to runaway or hide from it all together. I could stand still and let someone physically pummel me to a bloody pulp, but I can’t stand still and let someone I care about call me names or yell at me for any reason, I know that it sounds weird but that’s just the way I am. Friday night I had a long discussion with a close female buddy of mine. I’ve done and said some things that I really shouldn’t have to hurt this person’s feeling. Although at the time, it wasn’t my intentions to hurt anyone the end result was that I had. I realized the only way she was ever going to forgive me or put it behind us, was I was going to have to allow her to verbally unleash on me. I had the opportunity of escape at my disposal, and I did eye the door several times, but I chose to stay and take my emotional punishment. I would have much rather handed her a sharp knife or baseball bat and let her wail away, than to take on any emotional wounds. I made a firm commitment to stand there and take out whatever verbal punishment she deemed fit to dish out. She didn’t know it, but with almost every word spoken, it landed like solid punches and often ripped through me much sharper and painful than any knife could possibly inflict. It was important and necessary for me to stand tall and take my punishment, mainly cause I deserved it for what I had done, but because it was the only chance I had to ensure she would finally forgive me and get past it all. Some hours later, I think fate finally intervened and it came to a slow stop. The whole event left me bruised and battered on the inside, but my wounds WILL heal. I can only hope that the outcome of this has helped the friend that I hurt or that I can ever say that I’m sorry enough. Once again this page was generated solely for me to vent, nothing more nothing less. I’ve vented and now all is much better. Byes
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'Keepin the Streets Safe' in South Korea on:
Saturday, November 17, 2001; 09:33 a.m.
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| Sad to say this will probably be my last entry for a while. The current internet server is making it impossible for me to post new entries or view anyone else's blog page for that matter. I think I'm going to spend some time searching for my smile, I seemed to have lost it somewhere during the past two months. Byes
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'Keepin the Streets Safe' in South Korea on:
Friday, November 16, 2001; 7:44 a.m.
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| Another day another $3.20 or at least that’s what the government is giving us per day of our incarceration. The Internet here has gone belly up. I’m told there isn’t enough power for it, but the Koreans are supposed to be working on it (I feel confident). I found a place that rents Internet time, but it’s located off base. Off-base visits are hard to come by. I can only go off base on my day off and then only if less than 5 other people from our unit are off-base, plus I have sign out and take at least one other person with me the whole time in order to do it. Oh yah, everyone has to wear this stupid reflective gear and we have to be back on-base prior to 10:00pm. As you might have guessed I probably won’t be doing too much of that fun in the near future. I don’t want to sound negative, but this Blog was created so I could vent without having to burden the important people in my life. The overall isolation and resrictions make it difficult to not feel abandoned here. I went by my home unit yesterday and though everybody asked me how everything was going here, nobody seemed the least bit interested in visiting us. A guy I worked with in Saudi Arabia, asked me about the conditions, so I told him. Picture in your mind our work life in Saudi Arabia (long hrs, little time off), now take away TV, Radio, Music, Internet, Movies, Recreational activities, Privacy, 10pm curfew, No alcohol, then shorten the area itself to about ¼ the size of the housing complex and add in the fact that everything here is catered to the wing from out of country. The Wing Commander from that base found the time to fly in here and spend about 3-4 days with his people, that was nice of him. Our unit is less than 2 hrs up the road and they haven’t even attempted to visit us nor did they even wave good-bye to us when we left. I discovered yesterday, that I totally out rank the guy who asserted himself as my supervisor here by some 5 yrs or more. I was totally pissed off to discover that. The Lt was sorry to find that out and apologized, but too late the damage has already been done. On a good note, the dining hall has really stepped up and is now offering a wide selection of good food, meaning no more constipation brought on by eating the meals-ready-to-eat (MREs). If you have guessed it by now, that I’m getting cynical and hateful, you’re probably not too far off. I do want to truly thank Mel, who offered to e-mail me a picture of herself in a T-Shirt as a morale booster. Sorry Mel, with the shitty Internet here it would probably time out trying to download, but thanks for the thought, it would have been a big morale booster. If you have managed to read all the way through this, thanks for listening. byes
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'Keepin the Streets Safe' in South Korea on:
Saturday, November 10, 2001; 09:20 p.m.
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| Well it's Friday, not a weekend off work for me, but still a welcome sight. I'm not overly pleased with the limitations and restrictions at my current duty location, but it will all work out in the long run. Today has been a long day for me. In order to get a few hours of the freedom I once knew, I agreed to make a supply run after my normal work shift. I'm going on being awake now for 30+ hrs, so I have no idea if any of this will make any sense at all. I've really enjoyed reading everyone's Blog pages. Sometimes it's almost like playing detective, because you can slowly piece together what is actually happening in someone's life by his or her entries and by the tidbits entered in their friends Blog. The people that I know or who I feel I have come to know through other associations on-line seem to be going through a lot of turmoil right now. I know it must seem like there is something in the air, causing everyone to quickly sever their ties with people they have known and cared about for a long time. I can probably relate to this myself, since I am often quick to sever my ties with people as well. I'm not sure if I can offer any advice that would comfort or make any real sense, but people come into our lives for different reasons. Some people come into our lives for a particular reason and once that reason is fulfilled it is their time to leave. Other people come into our lives for a particular season and it can last quite a while. Usually something trivial happens which causes a break up or a drifting apart, this is to be expected. Seasons don't last forever, nor does it ever remain the same. Like the weather changes so do the seasons. In this case, the season has run it's course and it's time for everyone to move on. The last and rarest form of all are the people we meet who are for a lifetime. Very few people make it into this category, even as much as we would like everyone to be with us for an entire lifetime, it's just not possible. I'm not sure if my ranting gives any of you any better level of understanding, I just felt like I should say something. I don't claim to know any of the answers; I've just had the benefit of hanging around this planet for a while and have learned a few painful lessons myself along the way. About the best advice I would dispense is, don't worry so much, everything will work out just fine. Life has a certain way of steering you in a particular direction for a reason that may not be seen right now. Follow your path and learn from everything that comes your way. Don't hate or want to hurt yourself for the decisions that you make. Remember you can't fully appreciate the beauty from the top of a high mountain unless you once admired it standing in its lowest valley. Take care everyone, byes
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'Keepin the Streets Safe' in South Korea on:
Friday, November 9, 2001; 09:51 p.m.
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| Somebody throw me a life jacket!!! |
| Quick somebody throw me a life jacket cause I'm sinking fast....So many things have happened this past few days, I barely know where to begin. My exciting week of being in “The Zone” of popularity came crashing down with a vengeance. I think if somebody really wanted to kick my ass right now, they better go ahead and take a number cause the list is growing somewhat long. Most of everything lately is my own fault. I started off with the best of intentions and almost everything I’ve tried to do has backfired right back in my face. This is the kind of moment when you don’t just keep a low profile, you HIDE and watch your back!! To anyone that may read this and is currently pissed off at me for one reason or another, I’M SORRY!! I’d love to blame something for all this craziness, but I know it’s all of my own doing. I’ve been so fired up and out of control lately, it’s even gotten me worried as to why. The only explanation I can put my finger on is, I’ve got wayyyyy to much surge of hormones and aggression lately. Cloves usually help tone me down, but I’m entering my 5th week without any. I stopped jogging two weeks ago because it’s getting too cold around here in the mornings when I get off work. I think jogging was one of the outlets I really needed to release some of this well stocked energy. My work is okay; so far I haven’t screwed that up. This place is slightly getting to me because of the restrictions and overall isolation along with the lack of recreational activities. I started jogging again this morning, regardless of the weather I need some kind of outlet, at least until my order of cloves arrive. My humble apology to anyone that I may have offended recently, trust me it’s just a phase I’m going through. Hope everyone else is doing all right, I’ll be in touch soon. Byes
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'Keepin the Streets Safe' in South Korea on:
Tuesday, November 6, 2001; 01:12 a.m.
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| OHHHHHH What a Night!!!!!! |
| JEZZZZZ What a night!!!!! *Rubs forehead* This night started out bad. I’m without cloves now for the 4th straight week and with the Full Moon every hormone in my body is racing. Early in the shift I made a joke to the Lt and he took it the wrong way and he got really pissed at me. My assistant is pissed at me cause I won't let her off work. My super troop is giving me the cold shoulder, cause I chewed her ass out 3 days ago, then a few hours ago I managed to royally piss off my best friend in the whole wide world. About 1 am I wondered over to the dining hall to get some late night food and try to figure out how I managed to get myself into this mess. I ordered this great looking piece of chicken, and I was feeling pretty good about eating it. Suddenly, a couple of drunk guys wondered over to my table, like I was drawing them into my tractor beam or something and they wanted to fight me. Being in charge of the police shift on-duty, I quickly arrested them, and spent the next remaining minutes wrestling around with them. I never got to finish my chicken dinner, but oh well. About 4 am, one of my troops on-duty decides to tell me he is feeling depressed and suicidal, so I have him disarmed and relieved from work. Now it’s about 5am and I can’t wait for the 6 am shift change. There MUST be something in the air tonight that has me listed as it’s target. I know the full moon makes people behave in irrational ways but JEZZZZZZZ. Why can’t people just develop the urge to breed at the site of the full moon like me, instead of wanting to cause trouble. I’m off work for the next 36 hrs and I think I’m going to just lock myself in my room and not come out till Sunday Night!!!!! Byes
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'Keepin the Streets Safe' in South Korea on:
Saturday, November 3, 2001; 05:19 a.m.
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| Well there's a full moon out tonight and every hormone in my body seems to know it. This past week has been a good week of positive events, but I think it was just a build up for a distressing turn of events. It's nothing I can't weather or endure, it's just going to take a little bit of my strength to accept it all and press on. My super troop here is no longer speaking to me following an incident at Halloween and Bai is dealing with her own crisis right now, so I suddenly have plenty of extra time on my hands. Perhaps I can use this idle time to my advantage and maybe do something good with it. I'm thinking of spending more time studying for my promotion exam which should come around in January. Well the drunken fools are out in abundance and I know they will soon be causing trouble. Besides, I gotta run and catch all the werewolves that are also lurking about tonight. Wish me luck and think of me once in a while, as I'll be thinking of you ALL the time. Byes
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'Keepin the Streets Safe' in South Korea on:
Friday, November 2, 2001; 11:27 p.m.
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| Hello and Happy Halloween everyone. There are no 'Trick or Treat' children here, so I took to the streets offering candy to mature Korean girls if they'd flash me some leg, but as my usual NO LUCK! It's hard to believe that an entire year has gone by since Brad took me to the mall last Halloween and we watched the kids run around in their little costumes. Yes Brad, I did watch the children even though I spent most of my time hanging out in front of Victoria Secrets. I miss not being able to scare the little kids and scam their mommies at the same time. I did get an evil trick played on me today, but no treat what so ever. One of my buddies is no longer speaking to me. I've been handed many excuses from people that wish to brush me off and no longer speak to me, but this is a new one on me. Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and find a large treat under my pillow and discover it was just a Halloween prank. Well gotta run, everyone have a safe Halloween night. Stella, if you go to a Halloween party dressed as Elvira, be sure to get me a picture, you know one of those low angle numbers. Byes everyone.
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'Keepin the Streets Safe' in South Korea on:
Wednesday, October 31, 2001; 11:48 p.m.
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| Well I’m still in “The Zone” of popularity around here, even if I can’t really go anywhere to enjoy it. Last night we were participating in a training exercise involving a mock terrorist sniper (Played by our Lt.) near the flight line. We share the flight line with a commercial airport, so there are usually lots of aircraft going by. An armed security team was able to corner the Lt, so I authorized them to deploy from their vehicle to take him out. We were all running around trying to get him, which seemed more like a game since it was just a training exercise. I didn’t realize that the security team had moved far from their vehicle and had left their HUMMV vehicle close to an active aircraft taxiway. A Boeing 747 Jet from Korean Airlines came down the taxiway and couldn’t get passed their vehicle because of the long wingspan. Needless to say leaving a parked vehicle in the path of a taxing aircraft is never a good thing unless you are preventing a hijacking. It took us a while to realize the vehicle was blocking the jet's path. When we finally figured it out, we all ran back to the vehicle as fast as we could but it ended up delaying the aircraft's departure by about 10 min. As the security team was quickly moving the HUMMV out of the airliner’s path I looked up at the plane’s windows. Every single window on the airliner had a very disgruntled looking Korean passenger staring out at us, so we all just waved to seem friendly. Representatives from Korean Air drove out to us and they were really pissed off. Our Lt who was playing the bad guy during the exercise came to my rescue and accepted full responsibility for the mistake. When it was all said and done the USAF made an apology to Korean Airlines for the incident and we were all told not to leave any unattended vehicles near the taxiways or flight line again. The leadership on base was very understanding and didn’t even get angry, which was very reassuring since it was a mistake. Had this been my last assignment in California, the leadership there would have had me burned at the stake that night, my ashes flushed down the toilet, and probably contracted a hit man to go after my family, before I could even explain what happened. I know I will probably never have the high level of understanding I have here elsewhere in my military career, but it’s great for the moment. Well thats the latest and greatest from South Korea's favorite pervert.
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'Keepin the Streets Safe' in South Korea on:
Tuesday, October 30, 2001; 10:59 p.m.
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| I’m delighted to say, I’m finally back home for 14 hrs. I never ever would have imagined that I would have missed this room or this place, but having experienced far less for the past 3 weeks I’ve come to realize “Home is Where the Heart is”. As soon as I drove through the front gate I was bombarded with company and phone calls. I jumped on-line for only a few minutes and had numerous messages. I had to go to my office in the Ville to get some stuff downloaded from my computer, which is the main bargain chip I played to get this 14 hr return. I got swamped by a lot of people who saw me there; I was totally overwhelmed by their response and concern. I was sitting in a restaurant waiting some food to-go, when a woman walked in with a little Taco Bell Dog on a leash. The restaurant was crowded and I think the sight of so many people scared the little dog, so he pulled free from his leash and ran past several people to stop right between my knees and feet. The dog nuzzled my leg and I reached down to pet it gently. The owner came over but the dog refused to leave me. Several people tried to pet the dog but he kept pushing harder against me. I have a pretty good reputation with animals, but this dog acted as if I were his long lost brother or something, he kept nuzzling me. Up until today, I’ve been feeling somewhat displaced/discarded in life and maybe even a little lost to some degree. It suddenly occurred to me as I was petting the dog and coaxing him to return to his owner that, I am a person who is in the right time, at the right place, and at the right moment in life. I have so much to be grateful for, and I never really realized it before. I’ve let those who would discard me or put me down to slightly alter my own perception about myself. I KNOW I have a lot to offer and I KNOW I have something really good to contribute in life. I KNOW now, that my time here and everywhere else hasn't been a complete waste of time. I may not know exactly where I go from here, but wherever the wind blows me I now know everything will be okay. I no longer lack any sense of direction, my direction is, “FORWARD” and wherever “Forward” takes me it’s really going to be great! I may get sidetracked every once in a while, but maybe just maybe, the sidetracks are supposed to happen that way. My faith and inspiration has been restored, whatever curveball life throws it’s okay cause I’m still here, doing what I do best. Well it’s time to quit looking back anymore, the painful memories are just that, memories, and they fade as a matter of fact they are designed that way. *Waves* *Shouts* "I'M BACK!!!!!"
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'Keepin the Streets Safe' in South Korea on:
Sunday, October 28, 2001; 11:30 p.m.
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| Three weeks ago I got a short notice message that I was going to an unknown location for an unknown amount of time to perform an unspecified task. As you may have guessed the mere sound of it makes it difficult for anyone to really prepare for it. I did my usual of expecting the worst but hoping for the best. Lady luck shinned on me and everything turned out okies. The most difficult struggle was the initial 2 weeks without any of my usual comforts and contact with the outside world. I’ve been to isolated places before but I’ve never really been 2 full weeks without Internet, Computers, TV, Radio, Newspapers, Reading material, Friends, Comfort items, Hygiene items or PORNOGRAPHY!!! When I arrived here I was assigned to a baron room that had not been occupied for the past 10 yrs with only a mattress on the floor. I had a lamp, but no light bulbs. There was a bathroom, but no toilet paper. I had a dresser with 1 leg broken, so I called it my tri-pod dresser and it fell over every time I opened it. The first few nights were slightly difficult for me. I got the carpet yanked out from under my feet just before leaving and lots of things kept racing thru my head. I laid awake at night just staring at the ceiling and thinking to myself. I share my oasis of a room with another guy, but fortunately he works a different shift so when I sleep I got the room to myself. Good thing too! Cause he grinds his teeth and snores worse than Bai. The isolation itself has provided me with a unique opportunity to really reflect on my life and where I think it should go. The first thing that really occurred to me was I couldn’t figure out how I got here? Not here in this spot in general, cause I know how I got here, but to this point in my life. I remember so well all the bright ideas that I had many years ago and as I looked around the room and at myself in the mirror I realized that I was not anything like I had pictured myself to be. This is not really a bad thing at all, its just life has sidetracked me so many times, I feel I’m not really sure where I’m supposed to be or what I’m really supposed to be doing. I know the things that I don’t want to do or the kind of person I don’t want to be and I’m proud to say I haven’t become any of that. I'm not disappointed at what I've become or what I'm doing I'm just not sure if I'm heading in the right direction anymore. During the weeks to come I think I’ll take advantage of all this idle time and truly reflect, redefine and reevaluate my direction. I’m going to slow things down a bit, draw in my force field, regroup and truly think about the things I want and maybe free my mind from the things that really upset me. Listening to some my friends lately, maybe that’s what we all need to do every once in a while, kinda like Spring-cleaning of the mind and soul. Take care everyone. Byes
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'Keepin the Streets Safe' in South Korea on:
Sunday, October 28, 2001; 03:00 a.m.
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| Alive and Well in S. Korea |
| *Waves hand overhead* Yep, after an almost 3 week absence, I’m temporally back on-line. The past 20 days has been a real test of my own will power. I’m temporarily assigned to an Air Base in Kwang-Ju, which I’m told is South Korea’s 3rd largest city. Current local restrictions keep us confined to the base and a lack of things like cloves, personal space and comfort items have kinda made my morale sink, but I’m hanging in there. A huge dept of gratitude to Andi for the urgent care package of necessities that he sent, thanks ever so much. Unknown to most of the people that came with me, it was Andi that helped arrange to have everyone’s mail forwarded to us. BIG THANKS!! This place itself isn’t too bad; it’s loaded with potential. The base hasn’t been occupied by US Military Forces in quite a long time, so almost everything around here is in serious need of repair, but slowly things are beginning to improve. The neighboring city itself is a dominantly college community having 8 colleges and universities in the surrounding area. About 1 Km away is a women’s college, which means even Youji would agree it’s a somewhat of a target rich environment. Unfortunately, all I can do for the moment is stare outside the base’s chain link fence like a starving animal at the zoo. I thought about posting a sign near me for the girls that pass by that reads “Starving Pervert Please Flash Me” but thinking some elderly woman might take me serious, I’ve decided against it. Hopefully the local restrictions will lift and I’ll be allowed to venture out, so to speak. The base just had an internet server installed here for limited usage. I’m not sure when I can finally use AOL/Yahoo Messenger, but I’ll keep you all posted. Mel, I heard you got a new job sorting mail, that’s fantastic!! Remember anything that looks like it might contain pornography, be sure to set it aside for yours truly. Well I must go, I think it’s time to go watch the women ride their bikes past the base on their way to class. I’ll keep in touch, bye for now.
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'Keepin the Streets Safe' in South Korea on:
Friday, October 26, 2001; 10:13 p.m.
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| Yes, South Korea's favorite pervert is back in South Korea and looking down the shirts of unsuspecting females everywhere. I have sooo many things to discuss and such a limited time to do it all in. At the moment I'm of very mixed emotions. All freedoms as I knew it are temporarily gone, leaving me scrambling to find any shread of home life. I also find myself in over my head emotionally and somewhat physically. I have been happily traveling down what I thought was an easy path to follow the past few years and now I come to a definate fork in the road. I'm sooo unsure of my direction and what path to choose. Since no real decisons about my future must be made right now, I've decided to just sit down and rest a moment hoping life will shine me a light to let me know what direction to go. I don't want to drive anyone crazy with my mixed emotions, so I'll do my best not to be PMS or estranged. I do have faith that I will find my sense of direction and follow it with all my might. Bear with me everyone and remember reguardless of what happens in the long run, I love you all!!
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'Keepin the Streets Safe' in South Korea on:
Friday, October 26, 2001; 07:01 p.m.
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