foolish me
Thursday, September 29, 2005, 04:21 p.m. #921

A scene at the SEM meeting just now with N (my criterion leader, a HOD) and S (my team partner, a not-so-close colleague from another department):

N: (flipping through some papers) These documents have been handed out earlier and they will be useful in crafting the SEM report. WS, do you have them?

Me: Erm, I don't remember seeing them before... (then I saw S making faces behind N, hinting to me to just say yes) Oh, I guess they must be at my table somewhere.

N: (suddenly remembering) Oh yes! They were handed out in the last meeting and you were absent cos you had a violin exam or something. I asked S to pass a copy to you.

S: (mumbles) Ya, I remember distinctly that I passed a copy to WS...

Me: Oh. I must have misplaced them. (She didn't.)

cool down, teachers!
Wednesday, September 28, 2005, 07:13 p.m. #920

Just when the sedition case of 3 bloggers is still a hot discussion topic on the internet, JC students have been punished for 'flaming' their teachers on their blogs. I feel schools have not handled the situation appropriately - the problem lies with the manner of criticism, not the mere act of criticising! Just like the sedition case where the bloggers complained about the "peculiar" taboo of Muslims about pets' saliva, there is really some truth to what he's complaining. I think it's totally legitimate for them to complain as they didn't understand the Muslim customs and that taboo has indeed inconvenienced them. The problem is that they got too agitated and made some inconsiderate and mindless statements. If they had put their frustrations across in a more reserved way, they probably wouldn't have gotten into so much trouble. Similarly, the students couldn't have 'flamed' the teachers for no reason.

As a teacher myself, I'm not going to side the teachers and say that what the students have done is horrible. I believe the teachers who were 'flamed' online must have done something to "deserve" the flaming. I remember one of the teachers was flamed cos he/she was extremely strict with girls wearing short skirts. My guess is that teacher must have punished these girls unreasonably. I know of a discipline teacher who is extremely strict too. While he punishes misbehaving students very severely (to the extent of caning for serious cases), NONE of these students ever badmouthed him cos they respect him for what he's doing. He makes students understand their mistakes before punishing them, and all of them 心服口服. So here's an advice for the teacher who took that student's blog entry too seriously: Students complain (just like all of us do), they just don't know how to express themselves in a diplomatic way (just like many of us). 何必跟他们一般见识? Why not reflect on whether what they've written had some truth in it? Sometimes we punish kids without explaining why they were wrong (for example, what was wrong with short skirts?) - they won't stomach the punishments easily and they're likely to repeat the mistakes - then the punishment does not serve much purpose, ya?

I think, instead of suspending students for writing rude comments on their blogs, we could make them go through more English classes (oops, sabo-ed English teachers) on how to write reservedly and constructively. Instead of writing "F*ck that teacher lah, he has nothing better to do is it?", students could be taught to write "I wish that teacher could divert his attention to other more meaningful things and not get so worked up over our blog entries which were just meant for quick laughs."

pizza box #12091999
Tuesday, September 27, 2005, 08:05 a.m. #919

My lower sec students always like to ask me riddles but the riddles are usually so silly or so "cold" that I don't know how I should react. But here's one that is actually quite intelligent (maybe you already know it). The answer is at the end of this post.

Q: When is a door not a door?

And here is another Dave Barry's article which I couldn't bear the sin of not sharing:

My son's college apartment has a pleasant pepperoni motif
Dave Barry

(This classic Dave Barry column was originally published on 21 November 1999.)

So I visited my son at college on Parents Weekend, which is a nice event that colleges hold so that parents will have a chance to feel old.

I started feeling old the moment I got to my son's housing unit and saw a sign on the door that said: END WORLD HUNGER TODAY. This reminded me that there was a time in my life, decades ago, when I was so full of energy that I was going to not only END WORLD HUNGER, but also STOP WAR and ELIMINATE RACISM. Whereas today my life goals, to judge from the notes I leave myself, tend to be along the lines of BUY DETERGENT.

I felt even older when I entered my son's apartment, which he shares with three roommates and approximately 200 used pizza boxes. When I was a college student, we also accumulated used pizza boxes, but we threw them away after a reasonable period of time (six weeks). Whereas my son and his roommates apparently plan to keep theirs forever. Maybe they believe that a wealthy used-box collector will come to the door and say, "If you can produce a box used to deliver pizza on the night of Sept. 12, 1999, I'll pay you thousands of dollars for it!" Because they WILL have that box on file.

They keep their pizza boxes in the kitchenette, which is also where they keep their food supply, which is an open jar containing a wad of peanut butter as hard as a bowling ball. You may be wondering: "What happens if a burglar breaks into the kitchenette and steals their pizza boxes?" Do not worry. They keep a reserve supply of pizza boxes in the living room, and if a burglar tried to get THOSE, he'd trip over the cord that stretches across the room from the TV to the video-game controller held by a young man who is permanently installed on the sofa. This young man is not one of my son's roommates; for all I know, he's not even a student. But he is stationed in the living room 24 hours a day, focused on the video game, although he always gives you a polite "Hi" when you walk through the room and step over his cord. I'm not familiar with the game he's playing, but I noticed, as I stepped over the cord, that the screen said: "YOU HAVE BEEN AWARDED EIGHT THUNDERS." Maybe this has something to do with world hunger.

After passing through the living room, I stuck my head into my son's bedroom. I was reluctant to enter, because then I'd have been walking on my son's clothes. He keeps them on the floor, right next to the bureau. (I don't know what he keeps in the bureau. My guess is: pizza boxes.) My son assured me that, even though his garments appear to be one big intertwined pile, he knows which are clean and which are dirty.

"Like, this one is clean," he said, picking a garment off the floor, "and this one is clean, and this one is ... never mind."

There were no sheets on my son's bed. Asked about this, he explained (this was the entire explanation): "They came off a couple of weeks ago."

I'm not complaining about my son's housekeeping. He is Martha Stewart compared with the student who occupied his bedroom last year. According to true campus legend, when this student moved out, his laundry was so far beyond human control that he simply abandoned it. As a kind of tribute, his roommates took a pair of his briefs outside, climbed a lamppost and stretched the briefs over the lamp. They remain there today, a monument to the courage and dedication it takes to put underpants on a lamppost. I was gazing up at them in admiration when a student said to me: "That's the cleanest they've ever been."

Not all student rooms look like my son's. Some are occupied by females. If you stand outside the building, you notice that those rooms have curtains and pictures on the walls; whereas the males' rooms have all been painstakingly decorated with: nothing. The only designer touches are lines of bottles, and the occasional tendril of laundry peeking coyly over a window sill. We stood outside my son's building one evening, noting this difference; my son, looking at a tasteful, female-occupied room, said, with genuine wonder in his voice: "I think they vacuum and stuff."

Speaking of which: During Parents Weekend, I took my son shopping, and we bought, among other things, a small vacuum cleaner. When we got back to his room, one of his roommates opened the box and held up the vacuum cleaner. We all looked at it, and then at the room. Then we enjoyed a hearty laugh. Then the roommate set the vacuum cleaner down on the floor, where it will be swallowed by laundry and never seen again. This is fine. These kids are not in college to do housework: They are there to learn. Because they are our Hope for the Future. And that future is going to smell like socks.

A: When the door is ajar.

a change would do you good?
Tuesday, September 27, 2005, 07:32 a.m. #918

JJ was just commenting on her blog about how she has changed. I realise I have changed within these two years of working too. In the past I would be neutral to things and people around me - not many things could affect me or trigger my anger. But after I've started working, I get irritated more easily, and I am more opinionated about everything. Last time, even when I was offended by someone I'd easily forget about it by thinking he had other nice qualities. Now I tend to focus on people's bad points and I get very agitated when people say insensitive things (about me or my friends). While I used to feel almost nothing when people criticise me, now I am very defensive and I'll feel my hormones raging and temperature rising.

And I don't like this change.

outsmart the machines!
Monday, September 26, 2005, 09:32 a.m. #917

A hilarious article. I happen to be someone who will try out all the mysterious buttons on my TV remote control.

In a battle of wits with kitchen appliances, I'm toast
Dave Barry

(This classic Dave Barry column was originally published on 27 February 2000.)

Recently, The Washington Post printed an article explaining how the appliance manufacturers plan to drive consumers insane.

Of course, they don't SAY they want to drive us insane. What they SAY they want to do is have us live in homes where "all appliances are on the Internet, sharing information" and appliances will be "smarter than most of their owners". For example, the article states, you would have a home where the dishwasher "can be turned on from the office" and the refrigerator "knows when it's out of milk" and the bathroom scale "transmits your weight to the gym".

I frankly wonder whether the appliance manufacturers, with all due respect, have been smoking crack. I mean, did they ever stop to ask themselves WHY a consumer, after loading a dishwasher, would go to the office to start it?

Would there be some kind of career benefit?

YOUR BOSS: What are you doing?

YOU (tapping computer keyboard): I'm starting my dishwasher!

YOUR BOSS: That's the kind of productivity we need around here!

YOU: Now I'm flushing the upstairs toilet!

Listen, appliance manufacturers: We don't NEED a dishwasher that we can communicate with from afar. If you want to improve our dishwashers, give us one that senses when people leave dirty dishes on the kitchen counter, and shouts at them: "PUT THOSE DISHES IN THE DISHWASHER RIGHT NOW OR I'LL LEAK ALL OVER YOUR SHOES!"

Likewise, we don't need a refrigerator that knows when it's out of milk. We already have a foolproof system for determining if we're out of milk: We ask our wife. What we could use is a refrigerator that refuses to let us open its door when it senses that we are about to consume our fourth Jell-O Pudding Snack in two hours.

As for a scale that transmits our weight to the gym: Are they NUTS? We don't want our weight transmitted to our own EYEBALLS! What if the gym decided to transmit our weight to all these other appliances on the Internet? What if, God forbid, our refrigerator found out what our weight was? We'd never get the door open again!

But here is what really concerns me about these new "smart" appliances: Even if we like the features, we won't be able to use them. We can't use the appliance features we have NOW. I have a feature-packed telephone with 43 buttons, at least 20 of which I am afraid to touch. This phone probably can communicate with the dead, but I don't know how to operate it, just as I don't know how to operate my TV, which has features out the wazooty and requires THREE remote controls. One control (44 buttons) came with the TV; a second (39 buttons) came with the VCR; the third (37 buttons) was brought here by the cable-TV man, who apparently felt that I did not have enough buttons.

So when I want to watch TV, I'm confronted with a total of 120 buttons, identified by such helpful labels as PIP, MTS, DBS, F2, JUMP and BLANK.

There are three buttons labeled POWER, but there are times - especially if my son and his friends, who are not afraid of features, have changed the settings - when I honestly cannot figure out how to turn the TV on. I stand there, holding three remote controls, pressing buttons at random, until eventually I give up and go turn on the dishwasher. It has been, literally, years since I have successfully recorded a TV show. That is how "smart" my appliances have become.

And now the appliance manufacturers want to give us even MORE features. Do you know what this means? It means that some night you'll open the door of your "smart" refrigerator, looking for a beer, and you'll hear a pleasant, cheerful voice - recorded by the same woman who informs you that Your Call Is Important when you call a business that does not wish to speak with you personally - telling you: "Your celery is limp." You will not know how your refrigerator knows this, and, what is worse, you will not know who else your refrigerator is telling about it ("Hey, Bob! I hear your celery is limp!").

And if you want to try to make the refrigerator STOP, you'll have to decipher Owner's Manual instructions written by and for nuclear physicists ("To disable the Produce Crispness Monitoring feature, enter the Command Mode, then select the Edit function, then select Change Vegetable Defaults, then assume that Train A leaves Chicago traveling westbound at 47 miles per hour, while Train B..." ).

Is this the kind of future you want, consumers? Do you want appliances that are smarter than you? Of course not. Your appliances should be DUMBER than you, just like your furniture, your pets and your representatives in Congress. So I am urging you to let the appliance industry know, by phone, letter, fax and e-mail, that when it comes to "smart" appliances, you vote NO. You need to act quickly. Because while you're reading this, your microwave oven is voting YES.

nightwatched
Sunday, September 25, 2005, 06:13 a.m. #916

Why am I not sleeping at 6 am on a Sunday morning? Beats me too but I just couldn't sleep. Think it must be the effect of Clarinase and for sleeping early at 11 pm last night. Started to feel unwell on Friday and have been self-medicating with Panadol, Danzen and Clarinase before the actual sickness came on. Better not get sick at this time of the year when the Sec 4s need me so much.

Went to watch Nochnoi Dozor (Night Watch) with JW yesterday after reading so many good reviews on my friends' blogs and since it became the #1 box-office movie of all time in Russia in 2004. It wasn't as impressive as I'd thought. There weren't enough action and violence to satisfy my hunger for darkness (yes, the film was visibly censored and it could have easily been rated PG), and the plot was rather cliched and predictable. But the film flowed like a video game and it was undeniably stylish - an essential quality for a cult movie - especially its cool subtitles. Also liked the gloomy setting throughout the movie. And I do want to know the fates of the cursed virgin Svetlana (her vortex was way cool... and the actress looked a bit like the girlfriend of Mr Bean, heh) and the "new Other" Yegor (a character that was very much like Anakin in Star Wars). Maybe the trilogy was meant to be watched altogether. This first instalment just didn't thrill me enough.

hide and seek
Friday, September 23, 2005, 07:46 p.m. #915

Hide And Seek
Imogen Heap

Where are we? What the hell is going on?
The dust has only just begun to form
Crop circles in the carpet
Sinking, feeling

Spin me around again and rub my eyes
This can't be happening
When busy streets amass with people
Would stop to hold their heads heavy

Hide and seek
Trains and sewing machines
All those years
They were here first

Oily marks appear on walls
Where pleasure moments hung before
The takeover
The sweeping insensitivity of this still life

Hide and seek
Trains and sewing machines (you won't catch me around here)
Blood and tears
They were here first

Hmm, what d'you say?
Hmm, that you only meant well? Well, 'course you did
Hmm, what d'you say?
Hmm, that it's all for the best? Of course it is
Hmm, what d'you say?
Hmm, that it's just what we need? You decided this
Hmm, what d'you say?
Hmm, what did she say?

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs
Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you
You don't care a bit, you don't care a bit

pleated? yeah!
Thursday, September 22, 2005, 07:48 p.m. #914

The contents of an article on today's ST Forum looked exactly like my previous entry. Either the person who wrote it felt the same way as me (not surprising actually) or she copied from my blog (unlikely lah, haha). Aiyah, should have sent in my entry. Heh.

Learnt two things today. Firstly, there exist DVD formats of DVD+R and DVD-R. All along I'd thought they're just different abbreviations for the same thing (namely, a writable DVD), and I was so certain that I argued with my dad when he insisted that there's a difference. So I googled. And I was proven wrong. Bleah.

Next, I've never ever taken note of whether my pants have pleats or not when I buy them. After reading Urban today, I learnt that pleats are not only for decorative purposes, they are actually very functional - pleats make it more comfortable for guys to sit (you know, the crotch part gets tighter when we sit), allow space for guys' hands to reach into the pockets, and hide the ugly bulges created by pocket contents and you-know-what. But the in-trend now is actually to wear flat-fronts, or pleat-less pants (although the article mentioned that professionals still wear pleated pants cos they look more formal). Since I've never noticed pleats my whole life, I went to look in my wardrobe to see how 'hip' I am. And... hmm. All my pants have pleats except for one. And that's the pair which I seldom wear cos I feel they're too tight there - now I know why they're tight. Okay lor, so I am the traditional guy who wears outdated pleated pants. Hope this fad won't stay for long. Function over fashion! Bleah.

who's the cheater here?
Wednesday, September 21, 2005, 09:50 p.m. #913

Commuters who cheat on bus fares by tapping their ez-link card early could end up behind bars under a proposed legistration. Fine. Punishments have to be in place in order to discourage people from cheating. But, jail? *stares with disbelief*

Bus companies claim that they lost approximately million to fare cheats in a year - I wonder how they obtained such data - by probability and extrapolation from a sample population? I believe such fare cheaters are a rare minority. I, for example, have seen such cheaters only a few times in my whole life of bus-taking, and they are always quickly caught by the bus driver and made to pay the fare again.

And I wonder how much the bus companies earned from the glitches of the present ez-link system, where commuters are overcharged almost RANDOMLY? In the first place, why is a system that is still in its beta stage given the go-ahead? If it is fair to punish cheaters with fines and jail term, why should "honest" commuters be penalised into paying more because of an inefficient system? According to the papers, there were 25 reported cases of overcharging in one week alone (that's not counting the majority like me who never check how much fare is deducted and hence will never realise we're overcharged), and one couple has been overcharged 18 times in the past two years. Isn't it a greater crime for bus companies to be "cheating" the general public? Isn't this "cheating" more sinful when it affects bus commuters, who are usually low or middle class people? Why is the law siding a profit-making organisation and not the public?

Puzzled.

grade 4 results
Wednesday, September 21, 2005, 02:51 p.m. #912

Got my ABRSM Grade 4 Violin exam results. Pass with Merit - 128/150, only 2 marks away from Distinction. Although I was already quite pleased with the results cos I really screwed up my sightreading (which I failed), Michelle complained about how stingy the examiner was when I have performed so well in the other areas. Here are the rather flattering comments written by the examiner:

(For those in CO, Hindu Song is actually Yin Du Ke Shang Zhi Ge, if that title rings a bell.)

Set Piece A - Preludio - 28/30
You phrased sensitively here, and the dynamics were clear and intelligent. The mood was conveyed convincingly, despite tiny blemishes in intonation in the beginning of the second section. A most apt tempo: well done.

Set Piece B - Hindu Song - 26/30
The bow wobbled for brief moments here, intruding into your carefully-weaved legato textures. However, the tempo conveyed a sense of space within the expressive phrases. Last note was a little short.

Set Piece C - Drunkard's Song - 27/30
The dotted rhythms were very exciting here, and the dynamic inclusions were highly colourful. Much of the character was apparent, but the 'piu vivo' was really too fast.

Scales and Arpeggios - 17/21
Slightly hesitant responses, with brief blemishes in intonation. Some of the major arpeggios felt a little more secure, and the dominant seventh was well done.

Sight Reading - 12/21
A very slow tempo, sadly, with confusion over key and pitches. It settled down a little later, but was remaining at half-tempo.

Aural Tests - 18/18
Excellent!

Additional comments
Only your sight-reading denied you a distinction: well-played in the pieces, notably the 'Preludio'.

midautumn
Monday, September 19, 2005, 10:07 a.m. #911

Yesterday's midautumn festival, sis was out and dad was sick. Mum, being in a festive mood with only me available at home, dragged me out to the corridor to light up candles along the railings and take videos/photos of her carrying lanterns. I guess we'll all start to treasure such festivals of reunion as we get older...

Was chatting with JJ two days ago on the taxi about how time flies. Now is the time when we hear about the passing of our friends' parents. Soon, it'll be our parents... then our friends... then us. The mechanistic finality of it all is quite overbearing and depressing...

But then again, I'm okay with it. Cos I'm still 18. ;)

a long but not tiring day
Sunday, September 18, 2005, 02:07 a.m. #910

Learnt Fernando Sor's Estudio 12 during guitar lesson. Absolutely not-composed-for-leisure-playing. Managed to find the haphazard notes after some trial-and-error but to master the piece will require a whole new level of patience...

Then rushed to Dunman Secondary to attend their Environment Day. Sat through NEA's talk and listened to a few students share their opinions about environmental issues. Seeing all these environmental enthusiasts inspires me to inspire my EC members as well. Managed to steal some ideas which I could bring back to ESSS and implement next year (if I still remember them, that is).

After a very late lunch, I window-shopped at TP Mall and Century Square to kill time until JW crept up on me at Popular, so two very bored people ended up loitering and crapping together until I got tired (age is catching up on me) and we decided to just sit down and chat. Talked about school, family and friends... Can only conclude that times might have changed but secondary school days will always be the most memorable for any generation...

Then went to Esplanade and joined Jiajia, Junhui and Zhiqi to watch Zhang Ronghui's ruan chamber concert. All the pieces sounded overly mechanical and unmusical, like they were just trying to show off techniques (which weren't very impressive anyway) - even the extremely slow and ambient Zhong Nan Gu Yun sounded like clanking of metal pipes, and there was another rock-and-roll piece which the three performers played very Cheena-ly. (One of the three guys was actually CHEWING - Why? Rock-and-roll so must chew gum and act cool is it? Hello mister, very rude and irritating leh, not cool at all lor!...) But come to think of it, most of the people there were still very young (at least younger than me), so I guess I should give them some credit...

Went to JA's father's wake with Jiajia after the concert. Chatted with JA about her father, her love for flute and many other probably unimportant things, hoping to relieve part of her grief and tiredness. In her attempt to liven up the conversation, JJ even tried to pair us up (what's new?). JA and I gamely played along - right in front of JA's dead dad. Hope her dad wouldn't take it seriously. @_@

fix you
Saturday, September 17, 2005, 07:45 a.m. #909

After Physics Paper 2 last week, whenever 4E1 students passed by me they'd complain, "Mr Tan, you are very evil..." as they felt the prelim paper was a killer. Actually this has been the easiest paper I've ever set (some students agreed with me) - if my past exam papers were EXTREMELY DIFFICULT, this prelim paper was just DIFFICULT - so I think I have been kind this time (although the paper was still harder than those from better schools like TCHS and RGS - Edmund showed my papers to teachers from these better schools and they were flabbergasted). O level is getting more challenging each year, so I am hoping that by pitching a higher standard, O level will seem like a breeze for them. And 4E1 didn't perform too badly anyway, so I am quite glad. They'll probably appreciate my papers after they've done the O levels (I hope). :)

A friend's father passed away. Didn't know what to say to her as I didn't want to say things like "be strong" - I think it's very cruel to ask her to be strong when it's already a difficult time for her. Just asked her to take care of herself and not forget to get enough rest and let time heal the wounds. Tried to cheer her up (a very clumsy attempt), and she thanked me for the gesture (out of politeness most probably).

In the previous O.C. episode, Julie wanted to give her cold-hearted husband Caleb a spiked margarita as she couldn't accept the divorce, but when he was about to take a sip, Julie snatched the drink away and poured the drink down the drain, saying that she forgot to add the lime. While she was away, Caleb was suddenly overcome with chest pains and slumped over into the pool in front of him. Julie came outside and was shocked to see her husband sinking into the water. All thoughts of murder evaporated as she dived into the pool in a desperate and futile attempt to save him. And Coldplay's Fix You was played in the background - so serene and appropriate... I wish my friend (who has just suffered the loss of her loved one) could hear this song and cry her hearts out.

Fix You
Coldplay

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

High up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And I...

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

bloggers alert
Tuesday, September 13, 2005, 05:32 p.m. #908

Two local bloggers have been charged with sedition for posting racist comments on an online forum and on their blogsite.

I quote two paragraphs from another local blogger (a Peranakan) as they mirror my sentiments:

If you want to charge a person in court for a crime, a crime is defined by something that causes damage to another person, or another person's property. Racism hurts people, which is why it's bad. But how bad were the comments that were posted? You will get hurt if you have somebody screaming racial insults at you, but having somebody put something on a website? It's just annoying. It's not going to make you lose your job.

Were they part of hate groups which constantly harrassed Malays and damaged their homes? Were they leaders of an organised group which had regular members spewing anti- Malay / anti- Muslim propaganda? No. What happened was something like somebody writing "fuck you Malay boy" on a piece of paper and handing it to you. Without even knowing whether you are a Malay or even whether you are male. It's not directed, it's not personal.

Do we really have to be so serious with blog entries? I think the local "underground" blogger Rockson would be sentenced to death if his blogsite was to be sued! I shall not reveal his blog address here as his blog is indeed full of foul (and often strong) language and anti-government statements, and it may not be suitable for young readers who read this blog. In the blogosphere, his alterego is an ex-gang member who owns a gigantic 'little brother', has every single bad habit associated with males, gets easily excited by voluptuous girls, and speaks with at least one expletive in every sentence. But I always enjoy his humorous entries even though they may seem shallow and slapstickish on the surface. I think he has succeeded in talking about very Singaporean and very serious issues in an ah-beng and light-hearted manner, which isn't easy considering he's not a real ah beng (I believe), and he has purposefully chosen to use this relaxed style to express his honest views on stern matters so that people can feel more interested in reading about them. He has even gotten real ah bengs to start reading his blog and pay attention to the political and social issues - in fact his fanbase is so huge that he easily gets at least 200 comments for each blog entry (one entry even had 600+ comments). I think his effort is admirable, but I'm afraid he'll soon be next in line to be sued...

an overdose of I's
Tuesday, September 13, 2005, 07:38 a.m. #907

My fiancee asked me to do this, so I had to obey. Contains the most number of I's among all my blog entries.

Write 20 random facts about yourself then tag the same amount of people as minutes it took you to write these facts.

1. I'm addicted to blogging and visiting blogs.
2. I love dark chocolates. And lady's fingers.
3. I enjoy reading cards and letters written to me, and I read them several times.
4. I'm a neat freak but I won't admit it.
5. I enjoy sweating but I'm too lazy to do sports.
6. I'm extremely humble but I pretend to be BHB.
7. I miss my secondary school days and I wish time could stop there.
8. I miss my NS days but I don't want to relive them.
9. I never add cream to my tea or coffee.
10. I am extremely forgetful. You'll find reminder post-its and to-do lists everywhere at my workdesk.
11. There was one time when I used to be crappy and sweettalked a lot, but now I only talk when necessary.
12. I hate people who say that teaching is an easy job (get high pay, only mark books and can finish work early, blah, blah, blah) because it is NOT. If you think it's so easy, come be a teacher.
13. I hate people who are egocentric and don't listen.
14. I love babies.
15. I'm very lazy, so lazy that I don't want to think of how to relax and I always want to finish my work fast so that I have free time to laze.
16. I enjoy cancelling items off my to-do list.
17. I joined Chinese Orchestra when I was in Sec 1 cos I thought I could busk if I didn't do well in my studies - and I chose Chinese over Western cos I thought I should understand my own culture first.
18. I have thousands of CDs and I'm running out of space to store them!
19. I am a very patient and mild person. But once provoked... I don't even want to think about it.
20. I want to learn to cook! But nobody wants to teach me. Mum finds every chance to chase me away whenever I try to stand beside to learn.

Took a long time to do this, but I'll ask only JW to do it?

zhang jie
Monday, September 12, 2005, 10:30 p.m. #906

Recced Geylang Bahru and did a little obstacle course in the thunderstorm to visit Huiyan and her newborn daughter. Chatted with her and her mum while we waited for Zewang (who joined us half an hour later) and we decided to wake the baby to entertain us. The baby girl was really cute (and stereotypically dressed up in pink) - all babies are cute *paternal instincts raving*!

Been a while since I last met Huiyan. Talked about her job, diapers, fei ji qi, careers and the laborious *punt intended* process of giving birth, which according to her, wasn't too bad except for the doctor who refused to administer an anaesthesia... By the way, I think Huiyan'll make a good mother, judging from the way she was disciplining her nephew/niece. :)

the eric madness
Sunday, September 11, 2005, 04:44 p.m. #905

Spent the last of my holidays finishing Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (which I didn't think was the best HP book despite the many revelations), watching loads of Naruto episodes, and practising the irritatingly insane syncopations of Mamma Mia Medley for the next Edvox concert.

Watched Mee Pok Man for the first time. Heard about this Eric Khoo movie a long time ago but never got the chance to watch it because it's sort of being banned in Singapore for its sexual content. Then after watching it I was like... Huh? Like that also ban ah? There were only a few nude scenes and they were just scenes of PHOTOGRAPHS! The sex scenes weren't nude and they're all "safe"! Okay, the story's a bit morbid but I'm sure there're Hollywood movies out there that are worse - even satanic? How could the censorship deprive us of a local film just like that and insult us with those Liang Po Po movies? (The corny jokes should have been censored! But then again, there'd be nothing left.) Made me so curious for so many years and then I had such high expectations... Turned out that the movie wasn't THAT good really - think some scenes were over-indulgingly long. But the dialogue was truly life-like and Michelle Goh was HOT. No wonder the foreigners loved her for her Bunny role in this movie. :)

Also watched 12 Storeys for the third? fourth? time. Still impressed by the heart-wrenching scene where Koh Boon Pin interrogated his younger sister Lum May Yee about how she lost her virginity and Lum shouted "It's MY life! YOU should get a life!" then Koh shouted "How can you do this to me? What about me? What about ME!?" Great cast of Lum May Yee as the Faye-Wong-like personality, Koh Boon Pin as the possessive brother, Lucilla Teoh as the daughter who silently swallowed the incessant insults from her adoptive mother, and even the one-minute cameo appearance by Tan Kheng Hua was like WAH! SI BEY TOK GONG! Think Jack Neo and Quan Yi Feng over-acted though - especially Quan, whose Beijing accent really CMI. Nevertheless, this is one film which I'll be glad to show my students - a local gem that I'm proud of, that deals with realistic people (another one is 15, but I'm afraid I may get into trouble when parents complain about the "unhealthy influence"). And it has a great local soundtrack like this poignant classic by Humpback Oak:

If I Am Weak
Humpback Oak

If I am weak, whose strength should I seek?
When I hold love, my hands would leak
Just like water, through my fingers it would seep
Before I could drink, my spirits would sink

If I am a gift, whose spirit should I lift?
When I bring joy, my troubles would drift
I'm just like a boat, in the way that it'll float
Before I could think, my eyes would blink

If I am wrong, which truth should I fake?
Who should I tempt, whose soul should I take?
I'm just like a liar, I am bound to the stake
Devouring hours, still I'm wide awake

If I am right, which lies should I fight?
Should I expose, drag the black out into light?
I'm just like a ghost, I'm beyond sight
But I'm still playing host, to the beautiful night

mature 18
Friday, September 9, 2005, 11:28 p.m. #904

Forgot to mention this in my previous post about Be With Me. While the cinema was absolutely quiet throughout the show (no popcorns, no snoring), there was this very irritating man behind me who would giggle whenever Theresa Chan spoke. Felt like strangling him and knocking some sense into his airhead, "HULLO UNCLE! She learnt English when she was DEAF and BLIND! She doesn't even know how 'proper English' sounds like! Stop being such a childish idiot!!" (I'm still amazed at how someone can actually learn to speak a new language when she's deaf and blind...)

Good thing that guy disappeared once the credits started rolling, else I could have committed murder. Cinema operators ought to check customers for maturity for M18 movies.

be with me
Friday, September 9, 2005, 08:12 p.m. #903

After conducting lessons for my graduating classes in the morning, I brought my laptop to Fujitsu's service centre at Takashimaya as the DVD drive seemed to be faulty. Thinking that it'd take some time for them to repair, I bought a ticket to Eric Khoo's new movie Be With Me, but the Fujitsu personnel called five minutes after I left the centre and said that they've replaced a new DVD drive for me and I could collect the laptop already. So I ended up loitering around Orchard while waiting for the movie's showtime.

Haven't been to Orchard for a long time. Everyone was so well-dressed - okay, it's been like that all along, but it seemed more so now - even the guys, some of them looked like they've got foundation on their faces, and some women were, erm, seriously overdressed *think fur*... Luckily I wasn't too shabbily dressed so I didn't feel too out of place. Was strolling leisurely amidst the rushing crowd until one girl who was doing some survey came up to me and asked, "Sir, are you Singaporean?" I was quite amused (I don't look local meh?!) but I didn't feel like being pestered so I gave the silent Japanese-nod of "sumimasen, I have something to attend to" and walked away. Maybe I looked like a Japanese freelancer cos I had long hair and a little beard and I was carrying a laptop. Heh.

Passed by a police-cordoned area beside the MRT with a large crowd, complete with videocameras and reporters. Couldn't see what was happening except police using white cloth to cover something and foreign workers squatting by one side. Looked like a murder scene. (Only knew that a severed head was discovered there when I reached home and saw the news.)

No wonder the movie garnered a standing ovation at Cannes' opening, Be With Me was AWESOME. I shall not give away anything here, but it's simply a very powerful movie. Although all the dialogue didn't amount to ten minutes and most of the movie was filled with "loud silence" (loud atmospheric noise that echoed resonantly) and the love-and-hope themes were so overly-told that the stories were almost predictable, the movie evoked a lot of mixed feelings in me. My eyes were flooded when the show ended (and I had to scramble for my cap cos the lights came on suddenly) and tears kept coming back even when I was on the escalator. The story of Theresa Chan inspired me greatly - when I left the cinema, I felt I was seeing the world in a totally different light - in fact I was so inspired that I went on a frantic search for the autobiography of Theresa Chan at Kinokuniya and Borders. But I couldn't find it!! Utterly disappointed. Knew I had to buy something to appease my hunger for inspiration, so went to HMV and bought the Mee Pok Man + 12 Storeys DVD box set and the biography Lennon by Ray Coleman. Sufficiently appeased for the moment.

wind
Wednesday, September 7, 2005, 03:31 p.m. #902

September holidays started on Monday, but I have been busy for the past two days, marking piles of papers and giving extra revision lessons to the graduating classes. Although it's tiring to be teaching from 9 am to 5 pm, it's encouraging to see students turning up for extra lessons voluntarily and genuinely studying (yep, they always lie to teachers and deceive themselves that they're studying when they're not). Hope it's not too late for them.

Finally watched the Korean movie The Way Home. A simple story with simple characters, a moving movie despite not having a Hollywood budget or melodramatic climaxes.

Now hooked to Naruto's end theme, Wind by Akeboshi - one of the better English songs written by a Japanese although it tried too hard to rhyme at some parts. I love the flute melody!

Wind
Akeboshi

Cultivate your hunger before you idealize
Motivate your anger, make them all realize
Climbing the mountain, never coming down
Break into the contents, never falling down

My knee is still shaking, like I was twelve
Sneaking out the classroom, by the back door
A man railed at me twice though, but I didn't care
Waiting is wasting, for people like me

Don't try, to live so wise
Don't cry, 'cause you're so right
Don't dry, with fakes or fears
'Cause you will hate yourself in the end

You say, dreams are dreams
I am not playing the fool anymore
You say, 'cause I still got my soul

Take your time baby, your blood needs slowing down
Breach your soul to reach yourself before you gloom
Reflection of fear makes shadows of nothing
Shadows of nothing

You still are blind, if you see a winding road
'Cause there's always a straight way to the point you see

Don't try, to live so wise
Don't cry, 'cause you're so right
Don't dry, with fakes or fears
'Cause you will hate yourself in the end

liquid X and the squatting precautions
Saturday, September 3, 2005, 04:10 p.m. #901

Warning: Disgusting entry ahead. Not for the faint-hearted.

Got a stomachache suddenly when I was at TP Mall so I had to settle some messy business at the toilet. All the cubicles were taken except for a squat-type one. *Fast-forwarded due to graphic content* When I have finished my business and I was wearing back my three-quarter pants, I realised the bottom half of one side of my pants was soaking wet! Then I looked down and found that there was an unknown liquid X all around the toilet bowl (I can confidently vouch that it wasn't just water cos this was a MALE toilet). A corner of my pants must have dipped into this liquid when I was squatting and the liquid crept up my pants without me knowing. AHHH!!! *This was a silent AHHH as I didn't want the guy in the neighboring cubicle to think that I was having an orgasm*

Sigh, haven't used the squat-type for a long time, forgot all about the precautions. Was utterly disgusted. Tried my best to dry my pants with tissue paper then boosted my courage to walk out of the cubicle like nothing was wrong. Spent the rest of the day walking around in TP Mall with the wet part sticking to my skin (I had guitar lesson so I couldn't head home, and I was too stingy to get a new pair of pants), hoping that it would air-dry quickly and no one would notice.

I should probably thank god that the mixture didn't contain some other unknown solid Y as well. And if you happened to be at TP Mall this afternoon and smelt something strange when you walked past a handsome guy, now you know why.

the nine hundredth entry
Friday, September 2, 2005, 11:29 p.m. #900

It was a long and busy day (okay, not many days aren't). Besides having the normal teaching timetable, I had to perform invigilation duties and do my rounds as the setter of the Physics prelim practical that was going on at the lab. In the midst of all that, I also had to compile the annexes for Tuesday's minutes from various people and call up the absentees for today's exam...

Went karaoke with Edmund, Benjamin, Zhangli, Irene and Gek Hong after school to destress. June and Wee Teck came to join us for a while. I didn't quite enjoy myself in the singing cos I was already very tired and there were just too many things on my mind. But the long chat over dinner later on managed to loosen me up as we shared our stories, jokes, troubles and opinions about teachers, the school and the educational system.

Here's one story that happened today: Sakinah, who has been tolerating Ms T's tyranny for years, finally retaliated today when Ms T was being extremely unreasonable. Sakinah helped Ms T collect some drafts of exam papers from other teachers, but when Ms T found that the drafts were unsatisfactory, she blamed Sakinah for not checking the work (when it wasn't her job) and Ms T actually stormed into the staff room and physically THREW the papers back on Sakinah (yes, PHYSICALLY T*H*R*E*W), reprimanding her for not doing her job properly. Sakinah was so affected by Ms T's rudeness that she was on the verge of tears when she told us the story, and she went to have a closed-door conference with Ms T after that. To think that Ms T would bully her most hardworking and loyal worker like this! Everyone in the Science department felt sorry for Sakinah for she's now in her probation period to get promoted to the next level (she really deserves to be promoted after all her hard work), and Ms T is a vengeful person - she is sure to blackmark Sakinah for her retaliation - all of Sakinah's hard work might just go down the drain... While the Science department is made up of such talented people like us (I'm not trying to be thick-skinned here), why do we have to be suppressed and controlled by such an unappreciative HOD who only delegates and never leads by example?

a song for me
Thursday, September 1, 2005, 07:20 p.m. #899

A student sent a voice-plus-picture MMS to me this morning with a song specially dedicated to me for Teachers' Day. This was the first time anyone has ever WRITTEN and SUNG a SONG for me!!! Couldn't really make out the words cos the recording quality was quite poor, but the melody and the thought were sweet enough to make me happy for the rest of the day. Plus, Darren (my tuition kid last year) also called to say thanks. Aww... *buried in clouds and candies*

But the rest of the day wasn't all that sweet. Spent three hours vetting other people's exam papers, another hour on typing the minutes of the staff meeting which I recorded on Tuesday, and a couple more on marking two classes of test papers. Still have one pile of papers in my bag and another two sets waiting for me on my desk in school. Sigh. So much for "Teachers' Day"!