* violin solo debut *
Sunday, October 31, 2004 * 08:57 p.m.

Went to Shuanglin Temple with my family to pay our respect to Grandma (100th day death anniversary), then went to YMS Art Centre to perform for the Edvox concert.

My violin concerto went smoothly in general with a few occasional wrong notes. Was quite proud of my orchestral pieces cos I'd never played that well in the rehearsals. Managed to play the difficult semiquavers quite confidently and played every note in the maestoso sections with full bow from frog to point. (Realised I was the only Grade 2 among the first violins, the rest were all Grade 4 or higher.)

Then rushed home for Darren's tuition - his 'O' level starts tomorrow. And that marks the beginning of 3 weeks of boring invigilation for me. Yawn.

* farah *
Saturday, October 30, 2004 * 08:42 p.m.

Set up a twoEone account at Friendster recently, and below is the testimonial that Farah wrote. Short and simple, yet I felt especially touched as it came from her...

twoEone.

one and only. hahaks. crazy class.
starting with a wacko teacher and then
the students. lovely teachers. yeahs.
and nice and good students. =)

we are the mini-angels of mr tan wee siang.
and we din steal that title from you.

we rock our own world. a rare class
which started off dirtily. literally.
the class was dirty and together we worked
hand in hand to make our class clean.

the class co-operates together. at times.
this class made me into a better person. lols.

the different people with different
characters make the life of twoEone lively.
sleeping to snoring to sneering.
laughing scolding and many more.

im gonna miss ya people.
love ya all.

<3ss farah*

* 2046 *
Saturday, October 30, 2004 * 11:43 a.m.

Watched 2046. Still in the signature style of Wong Kar Wai, with elaborate backgrounds and multitude of colours that ironically mirrors the dreariness and hollowness of the characters (to me). Probably due to 5 years of waiting and overexpectation, the movie didn't impress me that much - even the stellar cast, flawless acting, meticulous editing and turbulent soundtrack didn't excite me very much while I watched the movie - these to me are the essential elements of WKW movies, and 2046 somehow lacks a certain something that can make it more brilliant than his earlier films. Will be looking forward to watching 2047 nevertheless.

* goodbye and good luck, 2e1 *
Friday, October 29, 2004 * 05:40 p.m.

Last day of school. Mad rush to settle miscellaneous admin work, then finally went into my form class for the last time and distributed the report books. The students probably didn't feel it, but I felt a tinge of sadness, knowing that I won't be sitting down with the guys, chatting, or be surrounded by the girls, showing me their neoprints. My close ties with 2E1 has formally ended.

Went out with Yanhao and Ho Ming after school to have lunch at Long John's and watched Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, then met Farah and her friend Shaqeena on the MRT. Talked to Farah and her mom yesterday over MSN and the phone about her being transferred to NA - Farah expressed her regrets and her mom was very encouraging and supportive... sincerely hope Derek, Zhengrui and her will continue to work hard despite the harsher environment in NA.

* rubbish! *
Wenesday, October 27, 2004 * 11:59 p.m.

Brought 3E1 to Tuas South Incineration Plant. The one-hour long journey was worth it. The tour was very organised - started with a powerpoint presentation that gave us a basic knowledge of the history and operations of incinerators in Singapore, then we walked around the plant to see various stages of rubbish treatment. Learnt that rubbish dumps here are not smelly (they have suctions at the end of the dump tunnels to keep in the bad smell), and that it takes 3 hours to travel to Pulau Semakau to dump the non-incineratable waste on the landfill (6 hours in total to travel to and fro). Took several pictures with students and teachers.

Then went to Springfield Sec for an 'O' level invigilation briefing. I'm going to be down for invigilation for the next three weeks, and that is closely followed by two weeks of reservist and one week of school planning. Hmm. What a nice way to spend my well-deserved holidays.

Took the family out to Tung Le (Ling Zhi) vegetarian restaurant at Orchard Liat Towers to celebrate Mom's birthday. It's a cosy place with very good service. The food's good and the price isn't exhorbitant. Weird and remote location, but definitely recommended.

* promo meeting *
Wednesday, October 27, 2004 * 09:17 a.m.

We had a promotional meeting yesterday to discuss whether those students who failed in their overall percentage should be promoted or laterally transferred to a lower stream. I had 6 cases of failures in my Sec 2 form class, 3 managed to stay in Express (as they didn't fail too badly), while 3 had to be transferred to Normal Academic (a few teachers gave bad comments about their attitude and conduct). Felt quite miserable when each of these students' fate was decided in a matter of minutes. Felt especially bad for that student in my class, who had been performing okay and behaved well during my lessons, but other teachers had a bad impression of him. I know he's a pleasant boy if we approach him nicely - he's just hot-tempered: does a hot temper necessarily indicate anything about his academic abilities? 3 years of NA studies might be good for him as he might be able to do better at this pace, but I'm very worried that he might be led astray and he might decide to give up his life just like that, when I know he WILL be able to do well if he sets his heart to it.

Maybe I am thinking too much. I just wish these students will not be discouraged and continue to work hard...

* three *
Sunday, October 24, 2004 * 07:29 p.m.

终于看了2002年轰动一时的《三更》。难怪一向木讷的黎明会凭此剧赢得最佳男主角。在韩国的Memories、泰国的The Wheel和香港的Going Home（回家）这三个故事当中，《回家》的确是最哀怨、精致的。除去杜可风拍案叫绝的摄影与紧凑的剧本不提，其中黎明和原丽淇的演技更是令人不自觉地相信剧中绯夷所思的、不科学的“爱情可以令人复活”之说。希望《三更2》也一样精采。

* shopping *
Sunday, October 24, 2004 * 12:19 a.m.

Spent about $80 on a shirt and a set of clip-type earphones with retractable cords. This is what happens when I have too much time to kill and when I am so bored that I can't be bothered about being thrifty. Luckily this is the last time I have to wait for two hours after my guitar lesson to attend the Edvox rehearsal. Concert is on next week. Hmm. Gotta practise, practise, practise!!

* of cats, frogs and angels *
Friday, October 22, 2004 * 06:08 p.m.

Recently set up an msn group for 2E1, uploaded several pictures and started off a few discussions. More than half of the class joined, but the response in the discussion forum has been rather lukewarm, only a few of us were posting, the rest were merely passively reading. Hope the website doesn't die down too soon like all my other online groups.

Jane and gang invited me to have a buffet lunch with them after the Use-Your-Hand Campaign but I had to attend the graduation ceremony so I couldn't go. Didn't know many of the graduands except for those in 4T2 (taught them science last year), 4E1 (sat in their Physics class last year) and 5N1 (taught them CME this term), so the ceremony had been rather boring (and very stuffy!!). Was sms-ing Shuxian throughout the ceremony until it was finally over. Then Catherine (Cat) sent Shuxian (Frog) and me (Angel) home, and as usual, we crapped during the journey, and I had a long chat with Cat about religion. :)

* idol worship *
Thursday, October 21, 2004 * 11:07 p.m.

My Amazon shipment of 3 violin CDs has arrived! Yay yay yay! Two are played by Itzhak Perlman, the last one's a double CD played by various violin masters. My sis and I melted on our seats when we listened to Perlman... why has my violin never sounded as expressive and versatile as his - not even remotely CLOSE to sounding like that?? Oh well, shall be setting up an altar to worship Perlman.

It's been quite relaxed in school recently. Been going through answers for the exam papers. Did nothing in 2E1 today, and a group of them played Truth or Dare: Victor was dared to kiss Nicholas, Wenjie was dared to ask the cup size of Li Ling, Farah was dared to ask the *toot* size of Derek. Hizam was dared to pull the ears of Jane (she's crazy so this was truly a difficult task)... Hmm. School will end next Friday. I will definitely be missing these children. :(

* food! *
Tuesday, October 19, 2004 * 06:34 p.m.

Final marking day. We always have mini "food festivals" on marking days. We had brownies, popiah and a sandwich buffet yesterday, and today we had nasi lemak, bee hoon and carrot cake in the morning with tow huay as dessert, followed by homemade lapis sagu (I couldn't stop eating it) and kepati (or ketapi? don't know what's the name). Helped to shred the crabmeat for this last item while Irene fed me as my hands were occupied.

Think making food is really something very interesting and fulfilling especially when other people enjoy your food. Wonder when I'll be so inspired/motivated that I'd sign up for a cooking class. When I become a husband? Heheh.

* guys' talk *
Monday, October 18, 2004 * 10:03 p.m.

Marking day. No school for students, but teachers still had to report to school. I have finished marking, but have been assigned to look after Sec 4 students at the Hall. They were to be locked up after their 'O' level practical shifts. Was with the OM Mr Leong at the Hall, and we actually managed to chat about school and retirement matters. Didn't think he would be so easygoing as he always looked very serious and cold.

Then met up with Victor, Kailiang, Say Chiak and Wenjie (a guys' outing) at TM Seoul's Garden to have lunch, loitered at the arcade for a while, then adjourned to Wenjie's condo for a swim, where we stayed in the water and talked till our fingers were numb. Then called for KFC delivery and continued our crapping on Wenjie's bed till night.

* autumn rain *
Saturday, October 16, 2004 * 10:56 p.m.

久仰余秋雨的大名却似乎没有看过他的书。今天因为吉它课后在小提琴彩排前有两小时的空挡，到处闲逛了一番，在大众书局被展示柜上一个很典雅的封面吸引住了。正是余秋雨的新作：《借我一生》。捧来本想翻翻就算，怎知竟被第一章感动了，当下便买了书读了起来：

第一章：长辈的山

我的父亲余学文先生，于今天中午去世。

在上海同济医院的二号抢救病房，我用手托着他的下巴。他已经停止呼吸，神色平静却张大了嘴。好象最后还有什么话要说，却突然被整个儿取消了说话的权利。

医生说，托着，时间长一点，就会慢慢闭合。

那么，什么也不用说了，爸爸。闭合吧。

闭合并不容易，一松手又张开了。爸爸是有脾气的，但在我面前从不固执，只不过现在他已经看不见了，不知道托他下巴的是我的手。他无法通过触觉感知我。

触觉。突然想起，我几乎从来没有与爸爸有肌肤上的接触。

小时候我跟妈妈和祖母在乡下，他在上海工作，偶尔回乡一次，几乎没有抱过我。不是他不想抱。而是过于疼爱我的祖母和母亲担心他抱不好。

等我长大，与各种朋友见面时会握手，但与爸爸相见却不会。我叫他一声，笑笑，他应一声，也笑笑。

后来他行动不便了，走路时我会搀扶他，挽着他的胳膊，却也不会碰他的手。他这次走得干脆，没有留下让我们给他洗澡、洗脸的机会。

那么，只有今天，当他的生命已经停止，我才真正接触到他，他的毛茬茬的还没有冷却的下巴。

爸爸的嘴渐渐闭合了。到今天我才那么仔细地看清，他牙齿洁白，没有一颗缺损。八十多岁能这样，让人惊讶，其实原因很简单，他毕生不抽烟、不喝茶，由于长年的糖尿病又不吃甜食不喝酒。

那就更应该闭合了，爸爸，闭住你一口的洁白和干净。

* reality shows *
Saturday, October 16, 2004 * 08:46 a.m.

Used to be a big fan of Survivor, but the show no longer excites me as much as before. Probably the idea of real-time backstabbing and betrayal isn't that interesting and novel as before anymore as I have seen more of this in real life. Could also be that I am still sour over the fact that it is the genre of reality shows like this that took away my Friends (and so many other good dramas, hmph). Good reality shows like Survivor and The Amazing Race aside, I find it very ridiculous that there are more and more of those (obviously acted out) "reality" dating shows. How could those guys and girls be seriously thinking about LOVE when the cameras were rolling all the time, and they knew their actions would be watched? Can love really be that BLIND?

Jerry is finally out of the Singapore Idol. Too bad I missed the results show yesterday. Would have loved to see whether he was surprised to find that his smile could no longer garner enough votes. Nah, I have nothing against him. I guess he is quite a nice person, but his singing really cannot make it. While I used to think Taufik was horrible, at least he is improving fast. It's a waste that Jeassea, Nana and Beverly are out - Singaporeans are racists? - hope Maia, Daphne and Olinda can go far, though eventually it may be Sylvester who emerges as The Idol. Pity, those who aren't tone-deaf happen to be stingy people like me who don't cast votes. Heh.

* just updating *
Friday, October 15, 2004 * 03:49 p.m.

Been a rather relaxed week. Mostly just invigilation. Spent the rest of the time watching VCD, listening to songs, surfing blogsites and marking papers leisurely at my desk. Went to Crystal Jade with Shuxian, Catherine and Irene for lunch, had a rather crappy but fun chatting session.

* ying chiu *
Monday, October 11, 2004 * 12:56 p.m.

Just before the English exam, Ying Chiu was caught by MH for not wearing school socks. She was ordered to get a new pair of socks before she could sit for the exam. YC did what she was told, but when she sat down and exam commenced, she began to cry non-stop, and no matter what I did, she couldn't stop crying.

Sought the help of Shuxian who was next door, thinking that it's better for a girl to console a girl, but it didn't work. The setter of the paper, Suziana, came and saw us and joined our rank of consoling team. We tried to tell YC that the English paper was very important for her promotion especially when this was a streaming exam (if she failed, she'd be demoted to Normal!), and no matter what happened, she shouldn't allow her emotions for one day affect such a crucial exam that will influence her future prospects. YC still didn't cheer up. By then, it was already an hour since the exam has started. Eventually we got the English HOD Noreha to talk to her and moved YC to an isolated room so that she had extra time to complete her exam.

YC managed to do part of the exam with the 15 minutes' grace, and I talked to her when her paper was over. Apparently, she just broke up with her boyfriend (who was an outsider and was in a gang) and she was feeling heartbroken over it. Tried to talk to her and cheer her up, and I actually managed to make her smile and help me clean up the tear-drenched table at the end of it. Heheh, quite proud of myself - this could be my FIRST successful attempt at talking people out of their misery.

* reminiscence *
Sunday, October 10, 2004 * 09:26 p.m.

好久没有用中文blog了。也似乎好久没有动阮了。多亏弥儿（我的文字处理器里还是找不到你的mi）送我的阮，让我在今晚回味了从前弹阮的快感与记忆：云南回忆、沙漠之夜、流连忘返、孤芳自赏、心旷神怡、异想天开、无所事事、回心转意、月光、山歌、孽缘、碧山雨景、火把节之夜…（乐者都爱以“夜”为音乐背景：空寂的夜总令人感情泛滥。）

妹妹刚好在旁，不经意地说：“你还是弹华乐比较好听。”

是吗？十几年来的坚持，被近几年的喜新厌旧冲淡了许多。真是因为厌倦了旧的事物？还是为了“宽广视野”（好堂皇的理由）？又抑是随波逐流（毕竟华乐不是主流），或是不想悬恋紧握渐淡的热忱？

我到底还是放不下过去的人。

* golden chicken *
Sunday, October 10, 2004 * 11:44 a.m.

Just watched Golden Chicken II (Jin Ji). While the first golden chicken was a little too ambitious, squeezing too many HK events into one movie, this second one is more focussed and dealt more with Ah Jin (played by the hilarious Sandra Ng) as a person rather than just a comical storyteller. The stellar cameo/supporting cast of Andy Lau, Leon Lai, Jacky Cheung, Ronald Cheng, Anthony Wong, Lee Sin Jie, Chapman To, Wong Yap Wa, Eric Tsang, Hu Jun, etc added much color to the light-hearted comedy. Though some parts may seem to be trying too hard or downright corny, Sandra and Jacky are really excellent actors who are able to pull off their roles even when the script may be overly far-fetched at times. Shall be expecting a Golden Chicken III.

* thank you *
Saturday, October 9, 2004 * 01:08 p.m.

Thank you
by Alanis Morissette

How bout getting off of these antibiotics
How bout stopping eating when I'm full up
How bout them transparent dangling carrots
How bout that ever elusive kudo

Thank you India
Thank you terror
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you frailty
Thank you consequence
Thank you thank you silence

How bout me not blaming you for everything
How bout me enjoying the moment for once
How bout how good it feels to finally forgive you
How bout grieving it all one at a time

The moment I let go of it was
The moment I got more than I could handle
The moment I jumped off of it was
The moment I touched down

How bout no longer being masochistic
How bout remembering your divinity
How bout unabashedly bawling your eyes out
How bout not equating death with stopping

Thank you India
Thank you providence
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you nothingness
Thank you clarity
Thank you thank you silence

* strong *
Thursday, October 7, 2004 * 08:54 p.m.

Felt like crying when I saw mom in her tormented state. But I know I have to stay strong.

* sex, guys and fruit flies *
Thursday, October 7, 2004 * 09:22 a.m.

Have always loved reading Dave Barry's column. This was gotten from a friend's friend's blog:

Sex, guys and fruit flies
by Dave Barry

Over the years I have been harshly critical of the scientific community for wasting time researching things nobody cares about, such as the universe. I don't know about you, but I'm tired of reading newspaper stories like this:

"Using a giant telescope, astronomers at the prestigious Crudwinkle Observatory have observed a teensy light smudge that they say is a humongous galaxy cluster 17 jillion light years away, which would make it the farthest-away thing that astronomers have discovered this week. However, astronomers at the rival Fendleman Observatory charged that what the Crudwinkle scientists discovered is actually mayonnaise on the lens. Both groups of astronomers say they plan to use these new findings to obtain even larger telescopes."

With all due respect to astronomers: We don't NEED to find any more stuff in the universe. We already have more stuff than we could ever use, right here in our garages. We need the scientific community to focus on a topic that is of far greater importance, yet remains a baffling mystery to humanity, or at least guys: sex.

Guys think about sex a LOT. You know the painting of Washington crossing the Delaware, where the guys in the boat have facial expressions of grim resolve as they approach a battle that will determine their fates, and the fate of the revolution? Those guys are thinking: "Maybe there will be women in New Jersey."

But despite several million years of thinking virtually nonstop about sex, guys have made very little progress toward answering such basic questions about human sexuality as: How can you obtain more of it? How much talking is required? What is the role of jewelry? How important is the size of a guy's, um, car?

For guys, these are uncharted waters. That's why I am so pleased by a recent Reuters article, sent to me by alert reader Jorge Gomez, concerning research being done by scientists at Stanford University into the sex life of fruit flies. This research is significant because fruit flies have many biological similarities to humans. For example, both species eat fruit. The list goes on and on.

According to this article, when a male fruit fly wants to have sex with a female fruit fly, he goes through a series of specific steps, the first one being to pound down approximately eight martinis.

No, wait, that's what a human guy would do if he were going to attempt to mate with a female who had six legs and 17,000 eyeballs, which trust me is not out of the question for some guys, and you know who you are. What male fruit flies do is engage in a courtship ritual, which according to the Reuters article includes "tapping the female, extending and vibrating a wing and singing." (The article doesn't say what they sing, but I assume it's Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Babe, by the late Barry White).

The Stanford scientists found that these ritual mating actions are controlled by a sector of the fly's brain consisting of 60 cells - about twice the number of brain cells required to cast a vote on American Idol. According to the article, when scientists mess up these cells, the male flies rush through the mating steps - "essentially try to do everything at once" - which causes the females to become turned off and develop little fly headaches.

This, of course, is exactly the mistake that male humans make: We're always trying to rush through the mating steps. Stand next to any construction site, and when an attractive woman walks past, you'll hear guy construction workers suggesting that she go directly to, like, Step 74. This approach NEVER works. Construction workers have been trying it since they built the pyramids, and not once in all that time has a woman ever said: "That's a great idea! Let's have carnal relations right now on this pile of dirt!"

And yet guys keep trying. Why? Because we're dumber than fruit flies. Fruit flies at least have some clue what their mating ritual is supposed to consist of, whereas human guys get most of their information from letters written by imaginary people to Penthouse magazine.

That's why we need scientists to determine exactly what steps are required for successful human mating. And I don't mean some vague psychobabble about "listening" or being "sensitive." I mean specific written instructions that we guys can understand, like "caress the target region in a clockwise pattern, applying 1.8 foot-pounds of torque." Wouldn't that be great?

No, because we guys don't read directions. So I guess we're stuck with blundering around, learning what "turns women on" through trial and error.

Tonight, I will vibrate my wings.

* chat *
Wednesday, October 6, 2004 * 10:26 p.m.

Helped Ho Ming and Yanhao in math and science in the library after school then ended up chatting about teaching, university, work, economics and lots of other stuff. Tried steering back to work several times, but we still got back to chatting after a while. When they finally decided they had no more questions on math and science, we adjourned to T Mart for dinner, where Jane and Cheryl joined us.

Been chatting a lot with students lately. The "brotherhood" of Victor, Say Chiak, Wenjie and Kailiang had been especially curious about the human anatomy and BGR so they'd been pestering me with difficult questions. Kailiang also introduced magic to the group recently. Heard he paid to learn magic tricks (one trick could cost around $65) and he earned profit by teaching other people after that (he charged $30 per person). Luckily this group of guys are rational people who didn't "buy" tricks from Kailiang, but they were nevertheless fascinated whenever Kailiang showed off what he'd learnt.

* distinction *
Tuesday, October 5, 2004 * 09:34 p.m.

Boasting time: I got Distinction for my violin ABRSM grade 2! In fact I scored the highest distinction (135/150) in the music school across all grades. Hee. Not a very great achievement cos it's only grade 2, but then again, I don't get to be the top scorer that many times in my life you know. :)

Written in neat cursives, here are the comments by the examiner:

Scored 29/30 for my first set piece (Fain would I wed): Well centred intonation and a real feeling for the melodic line. Effective dynamics and just the occasional uneven corner along the way. Very convincing in almost all respects. Well done.

Scored 28/30 for my second set piece (Ancient Dance): A bold opening statement and plenty of character throughout. Tuning was well centred, but there were little lapses in total tonal control.

Scored 26/30 for my last set piece (Coconuts and Mangoes): You had a good grasp of the key and this was generally very stylish. Rather overpowering in the final 'forte', but a sense of rhythmic security here.

Got 19/21 for scales and arpeggios: Scales - Neat, rhythmic and reliable, but not always shaped. Arpeggios - Slips in A minor, but very secure in all others.

Got 17/21 for sight reading: A good pulse overall and you kept this moving. Some hesitant corners and rhythmic insecurities from midway, but a suitable tempo here.

The shortest comment from aural test where I scored 16/18: An excellent response.

Additional comments: An excellent result and much to enjoy in your playing today. Well done. Many encouraging musical signs here.

* weary *
Monday, October 4, 2004 * 07:31 p.m.

Mom admitted herself in a hospital in the afternoon. Went to visit her after work. She said she just wanted a place where she could rest and get some peaceful sleep - she haven't been able to sleep for days. I knew she also wanted our attention and at the same time stay away from tiresome housechores and Father. While I listened to her account (of how she got herself to the hospital) and the backgrounds of the new-found friends at her ward, I felt bad for not feeling much. I just felt... tired.

* the da vinci code *
Sunday, October 3, 2004 * 02:14 a.m.

Finished reading The Da Vinci Code on the computer screen in one day after hearing recommendations from Huda. The book brought up several interesting possibilities concerning the Divine Proportions, Mona Lisa, Mary Magdalene, The Last Supper and Atbash, and it questioned the "truths" in the Bible and the faith of avid Christians. Although websites and critics pointed out several factual errors in the book, it's nevertheless an engaging story that's able to entertain and awe "ignorant" general public like me (sceptics claimed people who enjoyed this book are "ignorant"). The critics should be reminded that this is not a history or research paper - it's shelved under FICTION, and the "conspiracy theories" suggested in the book should only be read with a pinch of salt.