Viobssession

suspension - Friday, March 26, 2004, 05:35 p.m.
I drove 3 notoriously defiant students out of 3E4 yesterday as they were disturbing the class by talking and laughing loudly persistently despite repeated warnings. After a while, when I looked out, they were not outside the classroom anymore and I couldn't find them anywhere along the corridor. I called the office. The office found them, and gave them a suspension.

This is the first time that I had caused students to be suspended. Of course I don't feel too good in depriving students of schooling, but I don't feel BAD about it either as these students have been well-known to be always testing teachers and do not bother about punishments (they are probably very happy to be legitimately out of school). Their suspension is really for the benefit of the rest of the class - there is a minority who are still eager to learn.

I suddenly realise that I am not such an unsociable person as I thought myself to be. Found myself chatting with the bank teller (not a babe, just an auntie) and comforting her when she apologised for wasting a lot of time in trying to figure out how to make a TT. Also started talking to a guy at the post office today as he was looking for some collector stamps and he asked me for directions. Hmm. Maybe I am only nice to strangers and not towards people who already KNOW me.

mad rush - Tuesday, March 23, 2004, 10:54 p.m.
Woke up at 5.30 a.m. Lessons, lessons, lessons, a rushed brunch, Science departmental meeting, a professional sharing on the courses I attended, shifted the piles of handed-in homeworks from my pigeonhole to my table, my precious pencilbox went missing, frantic search, found it amongst some mess, preparation for tomorrow's PW, met up with Ho Ming to pass some things, attended the violin lesson, completed the music theory homework. And finally got time to R E S T. That's 10 p.m.

Watched Incredible Tales which told the story of a recruit who had his organs taken out and arranged nicely beside him, after which his spirit became trapped in his bed in his bunk and caused the bed to be shaking on some occasions... Hmm. I happened to have a bed-shaking experience before during my NS days - and I could have been sleeping on THIS lengendary bed... Eww.

flood - Monday, March 22, 2004, 10:06 a.m.
There's a flood in the staff room. Apparently a water pipe burst during the holidays and now the whole staff room is flooded with water. Teachers who had their things on the floor (paper boxes, worksheets, EXAM PAPERS) could only say goodbye to those things. So in the morning, everyone was treading on water carefully and the staff room, which was narrow enough, was jammed with boxes laid out to dry. Strangely everyone took it so matter-of-factly. The water is still bearable... but WE WON'T BE ABLE TO USE THE POWER SOCKETS AT OUR WORKSTATIONS FOR *THREE* DAYS UNTIL THEY ARE 100% VACUUMED DRY BY THE WORKERS!!! Oops, forgive my caps. Sob, I'll have to keep on charging my laptop battery in the classrooms then.

stan - Sunday, March 21, 2004, 05:31 p.m.
Been listening to Eminem again recently and started to take note of the lyrics. Bought The Marshall Mathers LP, and I finally understood why there was such a big hoo-ha over the album. It truly is a masterpiece, with such wittily dark and funny lyrics that (quote) "blur the distinction between reality and fiction, humor and horror, satire and documentary". Vulgarities aside, the bitter angst in the story-like narrations makes the album feel more whole and cohesive than any pleasant-melody or marvelous-voice song albums. And you feel sympathy when you know all that he raps and disses are merely a mask to hide his feelings for his family. In fact, the irony of it all is, Eminem started working and writing songs in order to care for his family even though he hated his mother for mentally and physically abusing his younger brother, yet because of the bluntness in his lyrics, his wife was driven to a suicide attempt that led to their divorce and his own mother sued him over defamation of character.

Never knew there is such a dark, disturbing story in Stan until I read the lyrics, and now Dido's voice simply refuses to get out of my head...

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why
I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be gray
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad
it's not so bad...

P.S. I wonder how the Taiwanese themselves feel about the 319/320 drama. Sigh.

my off day - Saturday, March 20, 2004, 12:30 a.m.
The SWC meeting was cancelled as Humaya's mom passed away. It didn't affect me much (sorry) as I didn't know Humaya personally. Watched Di Xia Tie (Sound of Colors) and the Taiwanese animation The Butterfly Lovers. Both were just okay... Took a nap in the afternoon (haven't done this for a long time) - it felt so good to have nothing on my schedule!

Wenjie and Ho Ming came to my house again at night after their lesson. This time they went overboard by reading my SMS inbox and MSN chat transcripts. I didn't scold them but merely gave them the cold treatment. They soon got the message and made me play Big 2 with them. The card game relieved the tension - Ho Ming kept losing, and I never had to shuffle for a single time. They left when it was near their curfew - hmm, don't really understand why they like to come to my house when there's nothing to do here. :)

ill but not too ill - Thursday, March 18, 2004, 11:35 p.m.
Conducted practical sessions for the sub-science Sec 3 classes yesterday. Both Irene and I were supposed to split the classes and take over two classes each, but as both of us were sick, and Irene being the GIRL, I took over all the 4 classes. It was quite bad, when I was having sore throat and headache and I had to project my voice in the laboratory, so I often had to pause and stare at those who were talking in order to make sure that the class was absolutely quiet before I spoke. The sessions stretched from 9 am to 3 pm, and by the end of the whole thing, I was almost dead. But I still stayed back to finish all my marking, enjoying Eminem and Nirvana in the background while I was plying my eyes open.

BHCO AGM today. Not much discussed - I wasn't in the condition to think cohesively anyway - couldn't even recall Yingyun's surname. Mi'er and JJ gave me a Gollum magnet - so happy! Shall stick it at my workstation in the office. :)

circumstances - Wednesday, March 17, 2004, 08:21 p.m.
The song came to my mind when I was in the shower - a song which I loved immensely a few years ago. One of the very beautifully-written Chinese songs/lyrics... and one of the very few which I didn't mind having English in a Chinese song.

飞鸟与鱼－齐豫

我是鱼你是飞鸟
要不是你一次失速流离
要不是我一次张望观注
哪来这一场不被看好的眷与恋

你勇敢我宿命
你是一只可以四处栖息的鸟
我是一尾早已没了体温的鱼
蓝的天蓝的海难为了我和你

什么天地啊四季啊昼夜啊
什么海天一色地狱天堂暮鼓晨钟
Always together... Forever apart

睡不着的夜醒不来的早晨
春天的花如何得知秋天的果
今天的不堪如何原谅昨天的昏盲
飞鸟如何去爱怎么会爱上水里的鱼

recharge? no time! - Tuesday, March 16, 2004, 11:54 p.m.
Attended a 2-full-day course in school - a course about managing emotions, failures and successes... Hmm. Thought it was quite lame, so I was drawing pictures most of the time, and people around me (Lourdesamy, Basheer, Ee Von, Huda, etc) were quite amazed to find that I DRAW - they said I could be a cartoonist... I didn't think so - I was just too bored - maybe I am too used to being the person speaking instead of the one listening...

I feel that my violin skills are deteriorating. Although I have learnt more pieces, my pitch is somehow getting worse and my sightreading still sucks. I need more practice, but I am just so, so busy!! That stupid course took up my past two days, practicals for 3E2 and 3E4 tomorrow, SWC meeting on Friday - this is supposed to be the March holidays and I am supposed to recharge. I thought I could at least have Thursday to myself, BUT, there's BHCO annual meeting on that day and my financial planner also chose to meet me on Thursday afternoon. Argh!

the monster and a fairy tale - Sunday, March 14, 2004, 09:26 p.m.
Watched Monster at Lido. Quite a powerful movie, especially one of the last scenes where Charlize Theron killed her last victim - the man was actually trying to help her, but she killed him anyway... I had mixed feelings after the show, and I couldn't decide whether her monstrous acts were really worthy of sympathy...

Attended Selena Akhbar's wedding at Restoran Tepak Sireh (Sultan Gate) after that, just beside the Sultan Mosque. Unlike the usual void-deck Malay weddings, this was a rather grand one compared to the ones I'd attended. The place was like a palace, with two storeys and many 'servants' serving food for the whole day, and George (now Md Isa) and Selena were like the prince and princess of this palace. They told the story of how they met: George and Selena first met online last June, they met up on that very day and they hit it off so well that George proposed to Selena on the 3rd day and Selena agreed on the 7th. Three months after, George (a British) converted to Islam, adopted his new name Md Isa, and attended Friday prayers even though he didn't understand a word of Malay... (Just as a side note, this handsome man has a twin brother, and this brother looked exactly like him)... Everything felt like a fairy tale.

chicago - Saturday, March 13, 2004, 05:56 p.m.
A very fruitful morning. Prepared answer keys to the holiday assignments, finished marking the algebra worksheets, and finally found time to watch Chicago.

It is not surprising at all that it was honored with the Best Picture. All the splendor, the black humor, the talented cast (that also sings and dances without the doubles), the seamless editing, the tight sequences, the choreography, the set designs, and the exciting numbers that weaves through the entire movie, all add up to this sexy satire about glamor and limelight... It's as good as Moulin Rouge.

last day of term 1 - Friday, March 12, 2004, 11:09 p.m.
Last day of term one. Say Chiak and Wenjie gave me a TIGHT farewell hug after our last period. Stayed in school till I finished marking all the term papers. Ho Ming and Wenjie came to my house at night after their Japanese lesson at Hougang, and sought revenge on me (for giving them loads of holiday homework) by beating me up with my pillows... Haha.

the two classes - Thursday, March 11, 2004, 07:03 p.m.
The principal gathered all the subject teachers and students of 3E4 in their classroom today and warned the class of their outrageous behavior. I was involved as I am their Physics teacher. In fact, I'd been asked to write a report on my experience with the class days before as the class was getting out of hand. Most of the students in the class are uninterested in studies and they come to school just to distract the minority who are trying so hard to concentrate despite these distractions. These disruptive students are not afraid of punishments and they show no sense of guilt or repentence even when they're punished. Most of them are openly rude to teachers, and they even intentionally placed a broken chair at the teacher's desk when they knew one of their teachers was pregnant (!!!). Poor Christine is their form teacher, and she has in my opinion done a relatively good job by being firm with the class, but the class (24 out of 30 students) signed a petition against her and submitted it to the principal. This called about today's meeting, in which the principal scolded and warned those students who were the leading the "rebellion". For me, it was plain disappointment to see that these students think so highly and self-righteously of themselves that they ignore the feelings and good intentions of their teachers.

Then I had to leave early to conduct an extra lesson for 3E1. The class asked for the extra session as they wanted a revision before the term test tomorrow. Almost the whole class turned up although I didn't make it compulsory, and all of them were very eager to ask and learn and none of them complained even when the session lasted for nearly two hours (oh well, it could be because the test is on tomorrow, ha). Quite a contrast to the attitude of 3E4.

lament - Monday, March 8, 2004, 10:16 p.m.
The male teacher should not have touched the boy! The teachers should not have let the boys who possessed the pornographic VCDs go starving! The teachers should not have interfered in the boy's love life and drive him to suicide!... What the teachers were doing was merely showing concern for their students, and yet they got the blame when things went wrong.

Torn between the demands of parents, students and the principal, it is no wonder that so many teachers go crazy every year.

poem - Sunday, March 7, 2004, 07:41 a.m.
My form class wrote a few "poems" (they don't seem like poems to me) during English lesson and pasted them on the noticeboard. One of them was about me. Wenjie was so eager to show it to me as he explained to me the part about the "sleeping volcano". Lol.

Mr Tan is...
A skeleton
A newborn baby
A sleeping volcano
The captain of a ship

mach one - Friday, March 5, 2004, 08:45 p.m.
Mom bought a new (and very classy-looking) cabinet for me. Spent several hours moving in my files, books and VHS (used to have these under my bed, beside my TV, chucked in my drawers). Now my room looks so much neater!!

My shipment of Mach One shoulder rest, mute and chinrest pad finally arrived. The Mach One has very nice curves and it is really as ergonomic and comfortable as what the reviewers claimed. Hope this solves my neckache problem. ;)

the stained skirt - Thursday, March 4, 2004, 01:29 p.m.
Did some book-throwing today to send across the message that homeworks should never be compromised. Those who submitted incomplete homeworks got their books thrown to a corner of the class. Ernest, who did not do his work and whose corrections were never ever done, got his book thrown downstairs. I know students hate being humiliated like that but I simply had to do this before their attitude towards work deteriorate further. I think I have achieved the objective I intended as the students were very quiet after that and they knew I did it for their own good (Victor told Irene that he knew I did this because I am concerned about them).

Another major event in my form class. Li Ling suddenly came to me crying at the start of my class and requested to have a word with me. According to her, someone put green paint on her chair, and her skirt was thus stained when she sat on the chair. I was very angry and demanded the culprit to own up. But nobody did. So I made the whole class line up in a single file under the sun and said that I'd let the class go back to their class only if the person owns up. I then went to every single one of them and asked them to look at me in the eye and tell me he/she was not the culprit. Still, no one admitted. As the heat was getting worse and they would be having progress tests next week, I turned soft-hearted and let them go back to class. In the class, I told them, whoever the culprit, to buy a new skirt for Li Ling tomorrow and put it on her table and I'd consider the case closed.

After the incident, many students came to tell me that this could all be Li Ling's own doing, that she staged the whole show just to get everyone's attention. Apparently she has been trying so hard to get attention from teachers and classmates since last year that everyone dislikes her. I am starting to think that she might have really staged the show as she looked unusually cheerful after the incident (when her skirt was stained?!) and she begged me to forget about the matter - she said the class would hate her even more if I pursued further. Hmm... What should I do??

rant - Wednesday, March 3, 2004, 03:50 p.m.
The reason why you seldom see me complaining about teaching here is because on the days when I feel miserable about it, I am already too traumatised to type the entries.

Just finished marking the math homework of my form class. It was horrendous. Only 1/4 of the class did their work and corrections religiously; 1/4 didn't do their work at all; the other half had some corrections uncompleted. As I was marking, I could literally feel my blood pressure rising. I asked myself repeatedly whether I have been too kind to them, and whether I have been teaching so terribly that they couldn't do the homework... Yes, I know that one of the golden rules of being a teacher is not to put all the blame on myself, and that the main responsibility of studying should be on the students - but I just can't help feeling frustrated when my students are not performing well... Argh.

chapter 5 - Tuesday, March 2, 2004, 07:27 p.m.
For the past two months, whenever I stepped into my Sec 2 classes for Science lessons, they would chant, "Cher... Chapter 5..." Any guesses of what chapter 5 is about? Right. Sexual Reproduction in Human Beings.

Started on Chapter 5 since last week (they cheered when I "announced" the start of it), and my classes were especially attentive during lessons. At the start of every lesson, the students would rush back to their seats as if they were catching a movie - not even one person would ask for toilet breaks. From these sessions, I also learnt that boys and girls were concerned about very different issues. Boys like Wenjie, Say Chiak and Kailiang would ask questions like, "What is masturbation? What is an orgasm? What is so bad about an abnormally prolonged erection? How many holes does a female have? Which is the correct one?" I answered these questions as scientifically as possible (I'd rather they ask me than them getting misguided answers from the internet). Girls like Lynette and Nur Rein would ask me, "What causes a miscarriage? How do we get twins? Does embryo transfer mean that the embryo will not contain the mother's chromosomes?"

I was quite surprised when Zhengrui (a notoriously naughty boy) asked me whether the process of obtaining sperms from the father would be difficult - "Wouldn't it be painful to have to open up the testes to get the sperms?" to which I laughed and told him (and the class, who seemed like the question was also something they wanted to ask too) that unlike the extraction of ovum, the method to obtain sperms from males is actually very simple and quite painless (I don't think I need to elaborate here).

Also met Kailiang on MSN two days ago. He was sort of the pai kia of my class, always flirting with girls around him and behaving like a gangster (but I know he is good-natured deep inside). I was quite surprised when he shyly asked if I had time to answer his queries over MSN and he started asking me many questions about sex and other guy-matters...

Quite glad to be educating these kids about sex and the beauty of it. It is clear that they have many questions which they are too shy to ask and some of them truly have serious misconceptions about sex as it is such a taboo to mention it outside classrooms. Though we may say that kids nowadays have internet and so on, there are really some kids who must have heard of some weird theories from unreliable sources and took them to be true. I often had to steer away from the syllabus as I thought it is more important to satify their curiosity, correct their misconceptions and answer their pressing questions about such a wonderful and personal subject.

scandals - Monday, March 1, 2004, 09:54 p.m.
Irene and I wore exactly the same colors again - white top and black bottom today. For the past few weeks, we often found ourselves to be wearing the same color combinations, and the coincidence is scary sometimes when even the shade of the color is exactly identical. Of course, many students have started to notice this and they'd crowd around us and tease us every time they see us together. Ms Mariamah asked me today, "Is there really nothing going on between you both?"

Hmm.