sandwich Tuesday, January 30, 2007, 10:39 a.m. #1273 Some friends can be so thoughtful that the little things they do may brighten up your day. J somehow found out that I have a full day of teaching with only one break today, and she made a sandwich and placed it on my desk. This might seem like a simple task, but it's really the thought that counts. Food always makes me feel contented. So despite the dreary day ahead, I am totally cheered up by the sandwich. =) P.S. No speculations please. J is married.

the sympathetic nerves Monday, January 29, 2007, 08:24 p.m. #1272 Went to TTSH Neuroscience Clinic to see a consultant regarding my sweaty palms. The corrective surgery involves collapsing my lungs to expose the sympathetic nervous system so that short sections of it can be cut. Sounds scary. Am pondering over whether the surgery is necessary. I've been bothered by my sweaty palms for a very long time - those awkward handshaking and handholding moments, wet fingerboards of my musical instruments, strings that rust very quickly, wet handprints on paper - but like the consultant has said, all these are not life-threatening. The success rate of the surgery is almost 100%, but is it worthful to go through the surgery, when all the sweat is merely going to be transferred to another unpredictable region (can be the armpits or the legs or the groin)? Hmm...

sorting the digital mess Sunday, January 28, 2007, 01:19 p.m. #1271 I have always been keeping the hardcopy teaching resources in files rather systematically for the past few years, but my digital resources are in a mess. Some CD programs may be kept in my cabinet at home, exam papers may be in CDs or in the harddisk, while other materials like lesson plans, video demonstrations and science documentaries are stashed everywhere at home or at my workstation in the office. Finally decided to get a CD folder to store all digital stuff together. The bad thing about digital resources is that we cannot "see" what is inside each CD, and some precious materials may easily be forgotten. Tried to label each CD meaningfully and filed them up systematically - at least for those CDs that I can find at home. Shall have to continue with the resources in the office tomorrow.

the timebomb Friday, January 26, 2007, 10:31 a.m. #1270 For the first four weeks of school, one of the students in my form class, R, has been absent. When I called up his parents, they said that R was waiting for a court hearing and they intended to transfer him to a special school after the hearing. Last week, I received a call from R's mother, saying that she wants R to return to our school. Apparently this is the third time that R is going through Secondary 1 as he has been caught for glue-sniffing several times throughout the three years and he hasn't been attending school regularly in the past. The mother promised that this time R is truly sincere in coming back to school to study. Today, the discipline mistress and I witnessed R and his mother writing down their promises on paper. The mother cried when we asked her to write that she'd need to take R out of school if he misbehaves - I can feel the pain that she's going through, having a son who has been unrepentent in his doings when he's still so young. R's nails were extremely long, and his hair was long and coloured when I saw him today. I told him to tidy up himself before he "starts afresh" next week. The boy set me thinking for a while. Sometimes we give these kids so many chances - it'll be worthwhile if they appreciate and seize the chances, but what if they take the chances for granted? They'll never be able to understand the trouble and pains that their parents and teachers have to go through to give them those chances. Everything comes so easy for them. And if they repeat their mistakes, should they be given further chances, just because they're still "young"? I'm seriously worried that he may revert to his old ways and influence my form class - my class is such a pleasant lot right now. I did not tell the class about his past as I wanted R to start anew. I merely told them we'll be expecting a new student who may be slightly bigger-sized. I'm ready to give the boy a chance. I just hope he does not fail us.

about insensitivity Saturday, January 20, 2007, 05:53 p.m. #1269 Some people can be so candid that it can be quite hurting at times. I know this girl who is extremely sensitive to people's needs - she offers chocolates to friends who are feeling down, and gives out preventive medicine to those who are having the first symptoms of illnesses - but she somehow lacks sensitivity when she speaks. There was once when this girl came to my house in the late afternoon, and she hadn't had her lunch. My mum overheard her and specially cooked a bit of fried rice for her. When the girl thanked my mum, mum replied that it was nothing as there were only leftover rice and dishes in the fridge and she merely fried them together. To my horror, the girl said, "Ya, actually I can tell that these are leftovers. The taste of fresh food is different." Luckily my mum already walked away and didn't hear her. And read this, written by a friend of mine: Photo of us! Let's take a proper one next time with my camera! *cough not with some camera phone and pretending that the quality is uber-fantastic cough*... What the hell! It was an old-school gathering and nobody brought a camera on that day so I volunteered to take the picture with my camera phone, such that I couldn't even be inside the group picture, and that's the comment that I get? If that's meant to be a joke, I wonder how I might read it so that it'd be funny. By quoting the above, I am probably not very sensitive too. And I know I can be quite blunt at times, especially when I joke about body sizes - which is a taboo for most ladies. Well, I hope I'll get my retribution and grow fatter this year. Heh.

reviews Thursday, January 18, 2007, 05:13 p.m. #1268 Haven't been updating much as I've been busy with school. All right. Shall not talk about school. Got a few albums in the past month. Shall recommend some of them: I thought Damien Rice's "9" isn't as good as "O". The music arrangement of the new "9" is heavier. While songs like "9 Crimes" is classic, "Elephant" is tragically beautiful and "Rootless Tree" is painfully frank, I feel the rawness of "O" showcases his expressive vocals better. Despite this, "9" is still much more superior than most albums out there. 五月天's "为爱而生" is an extremely feel-good album filled with happy and blissful songs. Ideal for low moments. Guarantees to perk you up with their sincerity and optimism. 杨乃文's "女爵" is as good as her past albums, and she is still the queen who remains hidden in the Chinese pop scene. And I wonder why. She is beautiful, her vocals are great, and she has a big personality. Just because she does not provide enough juicy gossips for the media? Been watching "金枝欲孽" recently. The story is extremely dramatic and the everyone in the show plots against each other either subtly or openly. Not too unrealistic actually, because that's almost how office politics is like in the real world.

the baby Saturday, January 13, 2007, 08:58 p.m. #1267 CCA Recruitment Day. Best-decorated and best-prepared booth ever, thanks to my very enthusiastic members. Showed off our EC video, weather information display on a laptop, collages, banner, professional-looking nametags, handouts, posters, award plaques... I wonder how satisfying it must be to see a REAL baby grow.

standstill Saturday, January 13, 2007, 07:12 p.m. #1266 Some things are moving forward, while some are moving back. Zoe has grown up in "Baby Blues" - she's having a crush on a new relief teacher, and she enjoys his scoldings because he has cute dimples when he's mad. Apple is launching the iPhone - a combination of iPod, OS X, phone, camera and internet on a wide touchscreen with only one button - all at a lower price than most better (but boring-looking) phones in the market right now. Dermatologists are urging people to go back to basics in skincare and not pay for a variety of expensive products when some of them are in fact worse than those cheaper ones despite their beautiful claims - just a cheap liquid cleanser (containing salicylic acid) and a sunscreen are sufficient for most people. Some things are moving forward, while some are moving back. But I feel like I'm at a standstill.

to be optimistic Wednesday, January 10, 2007, 09:45 p.m. #1265 The past few days rushed by. Worktime was fully packed by lessons, and freetime was used up in conducting CCA, attending meetings, preparing for lessons for these two weeks, meeting parents, settling administrative stuff for the new form class, planning science enrichment programs for the school for the entire year and overseeing its logistics and bookings, drawing up the CCA 30-week plan and budget, scheduling practical sessions for the entire graduating cohort for the first term... What is marking, man? (Most people think teachers only teach and mark.) I don't even have time to mark my students' work! It's only during such times, when I'm blogging, that I realise I've accomplished so many things within just a few days. And I guess all teachers are doing similar things like me. I really think teachers are very amazing people. I believe you've heard me complain about teachers doing too many "outside stuff" that do not contribute towards the quality of teaching. The reason why I'm still making the above list is simply because the situation hasn't improved at all over the years... despite some "claims" that it has. Recently, we had one contract teacher who came for one day of orientation. She attended our staff meeting, and she was so overwhelmed that she quit immediately. And I meant it literally - immediately - she didn't even step into a classroom before she quit. Teaching isn't as frightening (since she has already considered contract teaching) as the other hidden things that come along with it. All the information overload and responsibilities were so daunting that she didn't even want to give herself a chance. Yep. All of us have to be optimistic. I wish this could have been easier.

a full moon Sunday, January 7, 2007, 09:19 p.m. #1264 The past few days have been quite tiring. There was the overnight stay in school for Sec 1 Orientation on Friday. The night wasn't too bad. The overall teacher-in-charge got students to carry judo mattresses to the office for the four of us, and the mattresses were surprisingly comfortable. Also got pillows from the sofas in the pantry. I woke up in the middle of the night and walked round the school alone in the darkness - didn't see the ghosts that were in the rumors. A few student leaders were still awake and talking downstairs. Aside from that, the school was dead quiet. There was a full moon, and the night was quite beautiful actually. Managed to attend the guitar lesson on Saturday morning. Went home to take a nap after that, then attended the wedding dinner of a secondary school classmate. Was seated together with my other classmates. Haven't seen all of them for more than ten years - they've changed a lot. And I guess I've changed a lot too - most of them couldn't even recognise me. There was quite a bit of awkwardness as we haven't been very close in the past, and then we met after so many years - what's there to talk about? From our brief conversation, I can only conclude that TCHS students are very likely to excel in their career - all of them are either professionals, engineers or doing well in their businesses. I was in my usual anti-social self and spoke very little. The slow pace of the dinner and the lack of proper sleep made me feel really frustrated then, and I left the dinner early. Attended my first RT session early this morning. (For the uninitiated, NS men who fail their IPPT have to attend RT sessions, which are basically compulsory exercise sessions.) Yep. I failed my run for the first time after eight years of reservist - another confirmation that I have aged and my body is deteriorating. There's a saying that your body won't function as well once you hit the Big Three - it's true. Didn't quite mind attending the RT as I guess some enforced exercise may do me some good. Hope this gets me started on a regular exercise regime. Oh. And my iPod nano died today. :(

of giving up seats Sunday, January 7, 2007, 04:38 p.m. #1263 An entry written by Stone which I concur: There is some debacle going on recently about giving up seats to the more needy. Most of the comments I saw are from self-righteous Singaporeans who deride this lack of social grace, and all claim that "I am not guilty of it". Weird. You mean people who are brasse and lack social etiquette don't use the internet? Or do they use the internet but refrain from commenting because they are ashamed of what they did? One immediate point that jumps to me is that it's Singaporeans at our complaining best. Everyone knows what is the 'correct' thing to do, and they proceed to mow down anything that is 'wrong'. My personal view is that if people give up their seats to you, they are nice. If they don't, that's just it. They are not 'not nice'. Technically speaking, everyone is as entitled to a seat as everyone else. People like to say that it is social grace to give up the seats to the more needy. True. But 'social grace' in this sense is different from crap behavior that severely inconveniences other people (like taking up 4 seats with your legs and hands when you should only have 1). And, just because someone is young and looks fine doesn't mean he/she needs the seat less than a pregnant lady or an elderly. Students have big bags to carry. I think they deserve their seats too. A healthy person may have just finished a marathon yesterday and is aching all over. He may also happen to carry a darn heavy laptop that he needs to bring home to finish some work which he couldn't finish after spending the last 24 hours in office. He needs the seat too, right? But can you see that? Or like my wife. Looks darn healthy and fine. Back problem. But who can see that? And if she doesn't give up her seat, she is bad. Some old people are seriously healthier. I know my grandma can probably lug home more groceries and shopping bags than me from a wet-market trip. Although we don't have many young people who completed marathons the day before, or have back problems, but it's still very lacking in social grace to condemn a person just because he/she didn't give up a seat to someone with grey hair, or with a huge baby load. It's always nice if they do, but they definitely cannot be labeled as 'wrong' if they don't. In any case, if you are old/pregnant/in dire need of a seat, ask. Upon being asked, I am confident that most people will always give up their seats. (Of course, use some intelligence. Asking that uncle who has his legs and hands over 4 seats probably will just get you a snort.)

orientation Friday, January 5, 2007, 10:49 p.m. #1262 In school right now. Sec 1 Orientation Camp is going on outside. Quite coincidental that most of the Sec 1 class form teachers are either pregnant, have just given birth, or had to take leave. So only four of us form teachers are staying back. Luckily we have more than enough teachers in the school in case of emergency as the PE department teachers are all around to oversee the whole orientation. The staff room is really quiet now - with only the four of us, each doing our own stuff, and the sound of the aircon making some soft, weird noises in the background. Wanted to start the schoolyear with a stern face, but just now I couldn't help it and went to stir up my class's morale when I saw them rather unwilling to take part in the activities that the student leaders are conducting. They loosened up, and I nearly ended up dancing with them. Think they'd be shocked next week when lessons resume and I become a totally different person. Heh. In order to stay back tonight, I had to forgo ZH's birthday celebration, and also miss my lessons for keyboard, violin, music theory, and possibly guitar, if the whole thing stretches until late afternoon tomorrow. Hmm. Next week is going to be full of make-up lessons. Hopefully the night is going to be worth my effort - will try to interact with the class later.

the countdown barber Thursday, January 4, 2007, 01:13 p.m. #1261 Heard this story in the staff room: When a boy was asked why his hair was so long, he answered, "The barber went to countdown."

the passionate couple Wednesday, January 3, 2007, 08:31 p.m. #1260 I think I am quite an open-minded teacher. While I don't overtly encourage my students to engage in relationships, I don't mind if they choose to do so, just as long as they know the limits in private, behave themselves in public, and manage their life well. Today I witnessed a rather shocking scene on the bus, and I wonder if the teen world is changing too fast for me already. The two students involved were in their secondary school uniforms. The girl was lying on the badly-pimpled boy's laps - they shouldn't be doing that in their uniforms in the first place, but that is still bearable to some extent. The disgusting thing was, the boy's hand was touching the girl up and down on the inner sides of her upper thighs. Obviously the boy was going overboard. But what was the girl thinking, to allow the boy to do this to her? And as a finale to the intimate act, when the boy needed to get off the bus, the couple had a long, passionate kiss for about ten seconds. Am I being too old-fashioned? Or are the kids becoming more ignorant and immature?! How should I have reacted? Stop them? Report them to their school? Or simply accept this as part of the "changing times"?

a new year of work Wednesday, January 3, 2007, 05:31 p.m. #1259 First day of school. Everything went exceptionally well. My Sec 1 form class was extremely quiet and obedient - hope they stay that way for the rest of the year (although it's highly unlikely). And my Sec 4 class was extremely attentive - hope they're already feeling the pressure of the O levels (and not just because today is the first day of school). Tried to make a medical claim through the intranet as I visited the clinic during the holidays. Took FORTY minutes to get the laptop recognise my VPN-key and start up - and that's with some help from the TA. Spent another TEN minutes trying to log on to the MOE intranet, but I simply couldn't log on due to some unknown reason. All I wanted was just a miserable ten-dollar claim, and after FIFTY minutes of my precious time I still haven't been able to make the claim! Argh. I hate this whole VPN-key system.

fifty Tuesday, January 2, 2007, 05:04 p.m. #1258 The 50th month of blogging!

parting and meeting Monday, January 1, 2007, 07:36 p.m. #1257 The first thing that greeted me in the new year was the cruelty of reality. Received an SMS when I woke up this morning and it was one informing me that the half-year-old son of my colleague just passed away. It's really heartbreaking to know that after ten months of pregnancy and another half a year of pain, the child finally gave up and left the world. Went to the wake alone, but the house was already filled with colleagues and students when I arrived. And the mother was smiling when she was entertaining everyone - I really felt like I shouldn't be there to disturb the family, when their baby just passed away this morning. What they needed then was probably some rest and lone time? Helped to hand out tea to the incoming visitors. Didn't stay for too long. On a brighter note, I met up with my first form class (2E1-2004) at Sakae for lunch. Only eight of us turned up, much to everyone's dismay, but we had a really great time, and I'm truly glad that everyone has grown up and has some sort of targets in life now. Hope all of us will continue to keep in touch with each other.