tales of the unexpected
MO|280205|0706|730 Wow, my judgements were really accurate! Out of four categories in which I praised The Aviator for, it won three: Best Supporting Actress (Cate Blanchett), Best Art Direction and Best Film Editing - Best Director went to Clint Eastwood for Million Dollar Baby instead. Shall watch MDB some day to see if it's really that good.

The series of unfortunate events listed in entry #728 did not really happen, but something else that was more unexpected did. I wrote in the announcement book to announce to the school that my EC members were to meet me at the foyer immediately after flag-raising for an URGENT meeting, but Mrs Lee conveniently changed the announcement when she was reading it because she wanted to meet the peer support leaders and she wrongly assumed some of them might be in EC too, so she changed my meeting time to "after school". But I was not free after school! How could she change other people's announcements just like that without consultation!? Hmph. Because of her lack of consideration, I ended up sweating a lot and spending a lot of my free time going everywhere to my EC members' classrooms to disseminate my message. Luckily I still had time left to mass-print my Physics test, or else she WILL be be feeling VERY itchy at her ears. Growl.

the hues of the aviator
SU|270205|2057|729 Just watched The Aviator. Great movie. Fast-moving, emotional, humorous and adventurous. Seamless directing, art direction and editing that didn't allow time to even blink. Star-studded cast with plenty of cameos - Cate Blanchett (as Katharine Hepburn) MUST get an Oscar for this!

Many memorable quotes. The most impressionable one to me was spoken by Kate Beckinsale (as Ava Gardner), when Leonardo DiCaprio (as Howard Hughes) refused to wash at the sink which didn't look clean:

Nothing's clean, Howard. But we do our best.

a series of unfortunate events
SA|260205|1251|728 This is the first time I'm doing work so last-minute. Just finished setting a Physics test which is to be conducted on Monday. Then on Monday I'll have to mass-print it quickly during my free period (most probably by myself, if the printing lady Mdm Ng is busy) and administer the test in the morning. Hope nothing crops up.

Examples of things that may crop up: I may be asked to help in the preparations for the release of 'O' level results. The photocopier may be down. The stapling machine may be down. I may totally forget about printing the test (HIGHLY LIKELY)...

I need a drink right now.

volcano
FR|250205|1743|727 So glad that the week is over. Been very busy for the past week: contacting Tuas South Incinerator Plant for an excursion for my EC members, arranging for its transport, setting and marking test papers, conducting and marking SAIL lessons, guiding and sharing with my new trainee teacher (my third TT already) Ms Lim Zhang Li, writing my lesson plan for next week's lesson observation by Ms T, preparing my form class for 'O' level registration, attending meetings, conducting after-school lab sessions... there were just so many things at hand all at the same time that my table was perpetually messy (I only had time to put-take-go) and I had to miss several lunches.

On Thursday, I over-reacted and roared (ya, roar, not shout) at a girl in 4E4 for laughing loudly in the lab - I heard students who passed by sheepishly whisper, "Whoa, Mr Tan so fierce one." After the lab session, Shirley of 4E4 came over and tried to cheer me up and asked me not to be angry at the girl. I actually felt bad after the incident as the girl was visibly terrified by my 'roar'. Think I was too stressed already. Even Winnie (from my form class 4E2) could see that I was stressed. She bought a bar of Kinder Bueno and asked a teacher to put it on my table with a note that said, "Smile." So sweet of her.

Even going for violin and BH practices felt like a chore when I had to drag myself there after a long day's work, but I did feel better after the practices - music can really help me destress - as long as it is not that Green Grass song. :p

the poor males
WE|230205|1957|726 Survival of mankind rides on the successful pickup line
Dave Barry

(This classic Dave Barry column was originally published on 26 September 1999.)

So I was at this party, and I wound up at a table where three attractive single women were complaining about - Surprise! - men. Specifically, they were complaining about the pickup lines that had been used on them in a bar a few nights earlier.

One woman said: "This guy comes up to me and says, 'Are you a teacher?' I mean, is that supposed to be romantic?"

All three women rolled all six of their eyes.

Another one of them said: "This guy says to me, 'I've been looking at you all night!' So I go, 'Hel-LO, we just GOT here.'"

At this point all three women - and I want to stress that these are intelligent, nice women - were laughing. Not me. I was feeling bad for the guys.

I realize that there are certain hardships that only females must endure, such as childbirth, waiting in lines for public-restroom stalls, and a crippling, psychotic obsession with shoe color. Also, females tend to reach emotional maturity very quickly, so that by age 7 they are no longer capable of seeing the humor in loud inadvertent public blasts of flatulence, whereas males can continue to derive vast enjoyment from this well into their 80s.

So I grant that it is not easy being a female. But I contend that nature has given males the heaviest burden of all: the burden of always having to Make the First Move, and thereby risk getting Shot Down. I don't know WHY males get stuck with this burden, but it's true throughout the animal kingdom. If you watch the nature shows on the Discovery Channel, you'll note that whatever species they are talking about - birds, crabs, spiders, clams - it is ALWAYS the male who has to take the initiative. It's always the male bird who does the courting dance, making a total moron of himself, while the female bird just stands there, looking aloof, thinking about what she's going to tell her girlfriends. ("And then he hopped around on one foot! Like I'm supposed to be impressed by THAT!").

Male insects have it the worst. The Discovery Channel announcer is always saying things like: "After the mating, the female mantis bites off the male mantis' head, and then she and her girlfriend mantises use it to play a game that looks a lot like Skee Ball."

Because I live in Florida, my patio is basically a giant singles bar for lizards. On any given day during mating season, I'll see dozens of male lizards out there making their most suave lizard move, which consists of inflating and deflating a red pouch under their chins. They seem to think that female lizards really go for a guy with a big chin pouch, but I have never once, in 14 years of close observation, seen a female respond. They just squat there looking bored, while all around them males are blinking on and off like defective warning lights.

Every now and then you'll see an offbeat TV news story about some animal, usually a moose, that has for some reason fallen in love with, and decided to relentlessly court, something totally inappropriate, such as a lawn tractor. This animal is ALWAYS a male. On the TV, they show it hanging around the lawn tractor with a big, sad, moony look, totally smitten, while the lawn tractor cruelly ignores it.

My point here is that, in matters of the heart, males have the brains of a walnut. No, wait! That is not my point. My point is that perhaps you women could cut us males a little bit of slack in the move-making process, because we are under a lot of stress. I vividly remember when I was in 10th grade, and I wanted to call a girl named Patty and ask her to a dance, and before I picked up the phone, I spent maybe 28 hours rehearsing exactly what I was going to say. So when I actually made the call, I was pretty smooth.

"Hello, Dance?" I said. This is Patty. Do you want to go to the Dave with me?"

Fortunately Patty grasped the basic thrust of my gist and agreed to go to the dance. This was a good thing, because if she had shot me down, I would have been so humiliated that I would have never have been able to go back to school. I would have dropped out of 10th grade and lied about my age and joined the U.S. armed forces, and as a direct result the Russians would have won the Cold War.

That is the awesome power that you women have over us men. I hope you understand this, and the next time a guy walks up and uses some incredibly lame, boneheaded line on you, I hope that, instead of laughing at him, you will remember that he is under the intense pressure of wanting to impress you enough so that you might want to get to know him better and maybe eventually, perhaps within the next 15 minutes, mate with him, thereby enabling the survival of the human race, which believe me is the only thing that we males are truly concerned about.

In conclusion, let me just say to all females everywhere, on behalf of all males everywhere, that you are very beautiful and your eyes are like two shining stars, unless you're a female fly, in which case your eyes are more like 2,038 shining stars. So please give us a chance. And if you're not interested, could you introduce us to your lawn tractor?

slaicremmoc yllis
WE|230205|1943|725 Good for whatever ails you
Dave Barry

(This classic Dave Barry column was originally published on 21 June 1998.)

Recently, I was lying on the sofa and watching my favorite TV show, which is called, "Whatever Is on TV When I'm Lying on the Sofa". I was in a good mood until the commercial came on. It showed an old man (and when I say "old man", I mean "a man who is maybe eight years older than I am") helping his grandson learn to ride a bicycle.

I was watching this, wondering what product was being advertised (Bicycles? Dietary fiber? Lucent?) and the announcer said: "Aren't there enough reasons in your life to talk to your doctor about Zocor?"

The announcer did not say what "Zocor" is. It sounds like the evil ruler of the Planet Wombax. I figure it's a medical drug, although I have no idea what it does. And so, instead of enjoying my favorite TV show, I was lying there wondering if I should be talking to my doctor about Zocor. My doctor is named Curt, and the only time I go to his office is when I am experiencing a clear-cut medical symptom, such as an arrow sticking out of my head. So mainly I see Curt when I happen to sit near him at a sporting event, and he's voicing medical opinions such as, "HE STINKS!" and "CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW BAD THIS GUY STINKS??" This would not be a good time to ask him what he thinks about Zocor ("IT STINKS!").

Television has become infested with commercials for drugs that we're supposed to ask our doctors about. Usually the announcer says something scary like, "If you're one of the 337 million people who suffer from parabolical distabulation of the frenulum, ask your doctor about Varvacron. Do it now. Don't wait until you develop boils the size of fondue pots."

At that point, you're thinking, "Gosh, I better get some Varvacron!"

Then the announcer tells you the side effects.

"In some patients," he says, "Varvacron causes stomach discomfort and the growth of an extra hand coming out of the forehead. Also, one patient turned into a lemur. Do not use Varvacron if you are now taking, or have recently shaken hands with anybody who is taking Fladamol, Lavadil, Fromagil, Havadam, Lexavon, Clamadam, Gungadin or breath mints. Discontinue use if your eyeballs suddenly get way smaller. Pregnant women should not even be watching this commercial."

So basically, the message of these drug commercials is:

1. You need this drug.

2. This drug might kill you.

I realize that the drug companies, by running these commercials, are trying to make me an informed medical consumer. But I don't WANT to be an informed medical consumer. I liked it better when my only medical responsibility was to stick out my tongue. That was the health-care system I grew up under, which was called "The Dr. Mortimer Cohn Health Care System", named for my family doctor when I was growing up in Armonk, N.Y.

Under this system, if you got sick, your mom took you to see Dr. Cohn, and he looked at your throat, then he wrote out a prescription in a Secret Medical Code that neither you nor the CIA could understand. The only person who could understand it was Mr. DiGiacinto, who ran the Armonk Pharmacy, where you went to get some mystery pills and a half-gallon of Borden's chocolate ice cream, which was a critical element of this health-care system. I would never have dreamed of talking to Dr. Cohn about Zocor or any other topic, because the longer you stayed in his office, the greater the danger that he might suddenly decide to give you a "booster shot".

We did have TV commercials for medical products back then, but these were non-scary, straightforward commercials that the layperson could understand. For example, there was one for a headache remedy - I think it was Anacin - that showed the interior of an actual cartoon of a human head, so you could see the three medical causes of headaches: a hammer, a spring and a lightning bolt. There was a commercial for Gleem toothpaste with Gardol, which had strong medical benefits, as proven by the fact that when a baseball player threw a ball at the announcer's head, it (the ball) bounced off an Invisible Protective Shield. There was a commercial for a product called "Serutan". I was never sure what it did, but it was definitely effective, because the announcer came right out and stated - bear in mind that the Food and Drug Administration has never disputed this claim - that "Serutan" is "natures" spelled backward.

You, the medical consumer, were not required to ask your doctor about any of these products. You just looked at the commercial and said, "A hammer! No wonder my head aches!" And none of these products had side effects, except Gleem, which, in addition to deflecting baseballs, attracted the opposite sex.

I miss those days, when we weren't constantly being nagged to talk to our doctors, and we also didn't have a clue how many grams of fat were in our Borden's chocolate ice cream. Life was simpler then, as opposed to now, when watching TV sometimes makes me so nervous that I have to consume a certain medical product. I know it's effective, because it's "reeb" spelled backward.

daggers in the dark
WE|230205|0739|724 This entry should have been blogged yesterday but I was too busy... Anyway, yesterday we had a departmental sharing session, and I was told to share an article "Education in the Future Tense". When I presented the key ideas of the article (namely democracy, flexibility, creativity, etc), I was thinking whether Ms T would ever allow us teachers to do what the article proposed, given that she's laid down so many red tapes. Quite ironical that she passed me an article that she definitely didn't believe in and asked me to share with the department. I noticed the weird smile on her face when I mentioned "students have every right to rebel... rigid systems of standardised seating and filing should be trashed..."

Went for tea at Lorong Ah Soo with GH after the sharing session and he told me about how he was being backstabbed by THREE people in three separate incidents in a matter of two months. I was quite shocked as the people involved seemed harmless from my personal interactions with them, and all three incidents stemed from trivial matters that were blown way out of proportion.

The most ridiculous one was this case where LT asked GH to help him consolidate some students' names in a list. GH did it, then left the namelist on LT's table with a post-it which said, "Here's the 'shit' you wanted" (the 'shit' was in inverted commas), purely out of jest as GH and LT were quite close friends and GH thought LT wouldn't mind a joke.

LT later brought this up during an SMC meeting (SMC meetings are for key appointment holders of the school, including the principal and the HODs) and said that GH showed disrespect for him and didn't have a good work attitude. After the meeting, Ms T (our HOD) told GH about this and advised him not to make such jokes anymore. GH was quite furious as the note wasn't meant to be offensive at all, and even if LT felt offended, he could have approached GH directly and didn't have to bring up such a trivial matter at a key personnels' meeting! So GH confronted LT about this. LT was dumbfounded and kept quiet throughout the confrontation.

Then he sent an email to the principal to tell her about the confrontation.

*Shudders*

i am so HOT
TU|220205|0830|723 All the airconditioners in our staff room decided to go on a strike - been down for one week. In the meantime, we have a few gigantic fans placed on the floor, and one of them is right beside me. Not that it makes much difference - it's still as hot as outside - only makes the things on my table fly. And my nose is ultra-sensitive to the dust that the fan churns out. Grr.

recuerdos de un companero
SU|200205|1635|722 Some bits and pieces that I forgot to blog earlier:

This wasn't the first time, but this time I felt more offended than amused. Yesterday when I was buying my ticket to A Very Long Engagement (M18), the girl (probably around 16) asked me whether I'm 18 already. Erm. Hullo, I am TEN years above 18! Do I look like I'm below 18!?? Okay, I want to look young, but not THAT young lah!... That was my first movie at the cinema for 2005, by the way. The last time I went to the cinema was for Kung Fu Hustle and The Incredibles. That makes three good movies in a row.

And yep, I cleared my debts just before CNY. Transferred money to Zhiqiang through the ATM and at the same time withdrew money for my parents' red packets... Hmm. Haven't opened up my red packets yet - sis says it's more auspicious to open them up after the fifteenth day. :)

Been practising Recuerdos de la Alhambra every night after seeing a Chinese guitarist play it with seamless tremolo on TV. Think I have improved a great deal! Shall keep on practising till it isn't so cramping on my fingers...

By the way, that day when we visited Mr Shue, Angela said she's heard some news about Huiming, the girl whom I realised I liked only after leaving primary school. According to what she gathered, Huiming has married a Singaporean and migrated to somewhere else with her family. Hmm. A nice enough closure, I guess. But I still hope to see her one more time, just to see how she is now and ask 'how are you' in person. Yep, that's the corny and sentimental me. If only Super Sunday's Super Mission can help me find her. Haha.

un long dimanche de fiancailles
SA|190205|2118|721 Collected my third set of permanent contact lenses. The previous pair, which was made at Nanyang Optician (my mom's trusted optician), wasn't comfortable for me, so I went back to where I made my first set (Universal Optician at Century Square) for this new set as it's been two years since I changed my contact lenses.

Watched A Very Long Engagement (Un long dimanche de fiancailles, in French). Would not have noticed the movie if not for the potent combination of Audrey Tautou and Jean-Pierre Jeunet. Though not as delightful as Amelie - in fact it's rather gloomy and the war scenes were quite gruesome - the story was told in a fantasy-like manner that is similar to that of its more famous predecessor. Besides the beautiful camerawork, the side plots were also very well-written and well-acted out by a strong supporting/cameo cast (including Jodie Foster). I felt tears in my eyes several times in the movie - not because of sadness, but because I was touched by the sensory-evoking cinematography and tumultuous emotions. Will be rewatching it when the DVD comes out.

o mosquito, where art thou, mosquito?
WE|160205|2251|720 There's an outbreak of mosquitoes in my house recently. When I enter my toilet and lock myself inside, I can easily kill over ten mosquitoes at any one time. My palms are so sore now from killing mosquitoes that I used gloves just now in order to lessen the impact of my smacking (took them out after a while cos they're too warm). And insecticides and mosquito coils don't work on these commando species. They bite you when you're awake, and disturb you by buzzing at your ears or make you itch all over when you're asleep. Sometimes they will play hide-and-seek and fly around you to taunt and irritate you. Now I wish I have more lizards around...

Have just killed several mosquitoes in my room - THREE were flying above my sis's head just now - that's how disgusting and daring these insects were. I believe there's just ONE last mosquito in my enclosed room right now (closed all doors and windows with aircon on), and I am silently waiting for it to reappear... Roar.

business plans and the e.c.
WE|160205|1853|719 Been busy for past two days. Yesterday after school I had to bring students to Ngee Ann Poly to watch a Life Science Business Plan Competition and we only reached back school after 5 p.m.

The event was quite interesting cos we watched 6 finalists present their business plans to sell their innovative products that were related to life sciences: RGS proposed cushions shaped like red blood cells, Tanjong Katong Sec proposed bread made of natural preservatives, TCHS (now known as Hwa Chong Institution) proposed nitrogenous waste removers, Ngee Ann Sec proposed bad-tasting pacifiers to discourage babies from using pacifiers (bad idea, I thought), one school proposed a sun-tan lotion made from plants, another proposed an insect-repellent-cum-moisturiser made from soy beans. Thought I can consider doing something like this in ESSS since entrepreneurship is "in" now and students can apply their knowledge in science as well.

Today was bad too. Cos I have gone through lab skills a million times (how to draw a good table and graph) but 4E1 still kept making the same old mistakes, I didn't dismiss them until I've checked every single piece of their work. Those whose work was passable were released, then those whose work was unsatisfactory were made to stay back after school to redo them. I was torturing myself by doing this cos my lunchtime was being shortened and I had to rush to attend to my Environment Club (EC). Glad that I had full attendance again and the students were still enthusiastic. Hope this enthusiasm lasts - I know of many CCAs that had students leaving one by one over the year - that'd better not happen in my EC... Went home after 5 p.m., again. :(

Many people think that teachers have a good life, but they never considered the fact that we start work much earlier every day, and during work hours, we have to use our full concentration ALL THE TIME - it's so mentally and physically tiring... Okay, I guess every job has its pros and cons - just don't tease me when I'm enjoying the school holidays. :)

busy valentine's
MO|140205|1904|718 Didn't even have time to eat or go to the toilet - it's one activity after another (as mentioned in the previous post) and all required my vigilant supervision and guidance. It wasn't until 5 p.m. that I could finally visit the loo (my bladder nearly burst) and take a short break while on the way home. I took a cab, by the way, cos I didn't think I could survive a bus journey.

Got home, had dinner (that was when I remembered I missed my lunch), then carried on with typing my work review, and I am taking a break now.

Received a few Valentine's Day gifts today - small but thoughtful: Dawn of 4E4 gave me two big cookies that were baked in heart-shapes and wrapped in pink; Khadijah and the girls of 4E2 gave me a lollipop and some chocolates wrapped like a flower; Jonathon made some white chocolates for his class 4E1 (and I was the first brave soul to try them); Thiam Keat gave me a bunch of lollipops (which I later gave all to my 2E1 students during Project Work). These cheered me up a little despite the very dreary day.

lonely valentine's
MO|140205|0755|717 An exciting Valentine's Day ahead. Going to conduct 2 tests: one for 4T1, the other for 4E2 (call me sadistic). Then in the afternoon, I'll have to conduct Project Work for 2E1, followed by a National Education Quiz for 4E2. Highlight of the day: Desperate Housewives. How interesting.

fellowship of the maha bodhians
SU|130205|0809|716

Met up with my primary school friends and visited our Chinese teacher Mr Shue Yoon Mun (Xu Yongman lao shi) at Bishan. Huilian has become a teacher at RGS (she used to be so violent and talkative and now she's a TEACHER!), Angela still dances as her hobby (she's so pretty and confident now when she used to be slightly plump and always had a frown on her face), Xianneng demantles bombs (he's become so handsome! I remember he used to have a small face and wore a pair of big spectacles, like me, ha ha), Raymond just came back from studies (his face hasn't changed since primary school), Yilin is an architect now, Jianliang just got married last month, Gina teaches at Kinderland, Chuanchou still hangs out with Jianliang and Gina very often, Dai Teng works in a chemical-related field, and Wanjun is as bubbly as ever.

Most of us still look the same - young and slim (except for Jianliang who has put on a bit of weight - marriage has weird biological effects on men). Mr Shue shared with Huilian and I his experience as a teacher for 40 years, we made comparisons and concluded that teaching has really morphed into a much more challenging career now... It used to be more enjoyable and fulfilling in the past, teachers and students have a closer bond and students respect their teachers more. Several of his first batch of students are still in contact with him up to now.

Never found myself to be such a conversationalist - chatted with Mr and Mrs Shue and my primary school friends for nearly three hours before we left. Dropped by J8 and bought two shirts on impulse - in a good mood, I guess.

students, ice pick and mops
SA|120205|2324|715

A summary of what I did today:

1) Played host to around 30 students who came to bai nian.
2) Went to Doris and Wai Houng's church wedding at Bedok Lutheran Church.
3) Had a chit-chat session with Delun, Weiming and Weixian at Ang Mo Kio Central.
4) Had dinner with Jonathon and Weijie, then went to visit Tommy together and talked till 20 minutes ago.

Be warned. Long entry ahead. For those who are already satisfied with the summary above, you need not read on.

So, let me begin with the morning. Alvin and Chee Seng (previously from 2E4 in year 2003) were the earliest to arrive - came at around 10 a.m. Entertained them with Inuyasha on my laptop and showing off a few zhongruan and guitar pieces. Then, twenty-over students from 4E1 came and flooded the whole of my living room and bedroom. I was quite amazed at how they could entertain themselves so comfortably and as-a-matter-of-factly - some played blackjack, a few watched Inuyasha on my laptop, some watched TV, a few busied themselves with food, some chatted and took photos, a few played Diablo and Gunbound on my desktop, while some simply sat and watched what the rest were doing...

The true horror started when they left (cos I told them I had a wedding to attend): spilled water, cups and chips lying on the floor, empty boxes of chocolates (MY CHOCOLATES!!), decks of poker cards lying around... Lesson learnt: if I ever allow more than ten students in my house again, I have to brief them about the rules first before letting them in. Helped mom a bit in the cleaning-up, but her magical fingers managed to clear up the mess so quickly that I didn't do much actually.

Quickly bathed, changed and took a cab to the church cos I was already running late for Wai Houng's wedding. Met Delun, Weiming and Weixian (all NUS friends) there. It wasn't a very grand ceremony but it sure was long - two hours of hymns and sermons with lots of standing-sitting-standing-sitting. A few contemporary songs were sung to dilute the monotony and the wedding singers were good. Although I was quite bored, I was actually quite touched when the couple exchanged vows and lit the symbolic Unity candles... (I had a "vision" when the Unity candles were lit - think it must have been all the talk with Jianwei last night about "visions". Hmm.)

The highlight was of course the buffet after the ceremony, but the guys felt it wasn't enough, so we took a cab down to AMK Central to eat and chit-chat. Delun ordered an "ice peach" but the stallowner misheard it as "ice pick". That "ice pick" turned out to be a gigantic ice kachang which four grown men couldn't finish even by the end of the hour-long chat. I think that lady pretended to hear wrongly cos that "ice pick" cost $3+, much more than "ice peach". Cheap ploy.

That's why I didn't eat much when I met up with Jonathon and Weijie for dinner (Zewang joined us for a brief while) at AMK S11. Then we went to Tommy's house to visit him. Tommy has been working as a teacher in Shanghai for the past few years, and he's only back now briefly cos there's a CNY vacation. All four of us have not met each other for a long time, so naturally we exchanged updates and the latest gossips, and I even learnt about a few stories which happened years ago but I never knew (yeah, I have never been an observant person anyway).

Tommy talked about how bad Shanghai is despite our gorgeous mental picture of the place. Instead of wearing pearls and cheongsam, housewives walked around in pyjamas. The men wore boxers and walked about barebodied. The weather there was either too hot or too cold - never just nice for comfort. After a day's work, Tommy also had to flush his nose with tissues for half an hour just to get rid of the dirt he trapped in his nose due to the highly-polluted air (I sense gross exaggeration here).

The only good thing he mentioned was the Lu Xun Gong Yuan, where he would find people playing chess, drinking tea and practising taiji by the lake. Musicians would compete for audience with their various instruments: pipa, erhu, dizi... There would also be calligraphers who would bring mops (yes, MOPS), dip them in the water and then write words on the ground. People who walked by would then admire the calligraphy and occasionally clap their hands when the artistic strokes were brilliant. The poetic part about this was that the water would slowly evaporate and whatever brilliance would be gone within minutes.

A full day of "socialising". Not tired mentally, but physically my feet are aching. :(

visits
FR|110205|1804|714 For the past two days of CNY, while we couldn't go to visit people, people came to visit us. I was unusually sociable - stayed in the living room and listened to my parents talk to the visitors. Occasionally I would become the focus: How are you? How is work? (I'm glad none have asked me that when-are-you-getting-married question yet.) But most of the time, the older people talked among themselves while I chatted with sis... 4E1 will be coming tomorrow. At last count, 26 of them are coming. Hmm. I wonder where I can find enough space for so many people. :p

sparks of memories, memories of sparks
TH|100205|1902|713

Pictures taken yesterday when sis and I played with fireworks that mom found stashed in the cupboard. Used to do this on festive occasions when we were kids and we used to be very amazed as we watched the sparks twirl and fly. Not that much of excitement last night. But it was nice to recall those memories.

death of a miko
TH|100205|1527|712 Spent the first half of the day watching Inuyasha, setting test papers and writing the fingerings for Budashkin's Domra Concerto cos Su Chunmin is considering to publish it in her new liuqin book.

Kikyou is dead!! Most Inuyasha fans hate her cos her storyline is easily one of the most boring - an aimless journey of the lonely soul of a priestess - and whenever she appears, there'll always be that melancholic Kikyou theme playing behind and I suspect the fans hate it (but I love it so much!)... She's such an important character! How can they just kill her like that! Hmph. Oh, and that new character Akago is eerie - it's a purple baby (literally, purple) that controls people's soul... very evil-looking, especially with that spinechilling voiceover.

cai gen xiang
WE|090205|2152|711 Happy Chinese New Year!

Like previous years, my whole family went back to the food centre at Circuit Road (my old home) and had a vegetarian lunch - although the place is better known for its Tai Seng duck rice, I still prefer the vegetarian hor fun there. My family makes it a point to go back every year to witness the gradual change in our old neighbourhood and say hello to the mother-and-daughter stall owners. We even met our ex-neighbours who have also moved out of Circuit Road and gone back to the food centre today to reminisce like we did. Their children have grown so tall - the last time I saw them they're still babies. Time really flies. :)

ants, smucker's and microwaves
TU|080205|0845|710 Home safety: The jarring truth
Dave Barry

(This classic Dave Barry column was originally published on 18 February 1990.)

Today's Practical Homemaker Topic is: Useful Cooking Tips and Hints.

Cooking is one of the major cultural achievements, along with golf, that separate human beings from animals. Animals don't cook. When they encounter something that might be food, they just snork it down. My editor's dog, Clementine, once ate aquarium gravel without even heating it up.

Some scientists believe that ants might cook. The reasoning here is that if you look at the kinds of culinary treasures that worker ants are always scuttling off with, such as dead bees and worm heads and filth-encrusted Rolaids fragments, you have to say to yourself, as a scientist, "Surely they're not going to eat that raw?" So the theory is that maybe in one of their secret underground tunnels they have a kitchen facility staffed by temperamental chef ants wearing little dorky white hats and communicating by angrily waving their feelers ("You morons! I said FRESH worm heads!").

Unfortunately, we cannot prove this, because ants are very difficult to study. I learned this last Christmas when my son got one of those educational ant farms, the kind where you put some ants inside, and they dig in the sand and educate your child until he eventually gets a full scholarship to Harvard.

Finding the ants was no problem. Our house has received the coveted four-star rating from the Worldwide Ant Directory Of Places To Infest, and we quickly attracted a whole squadron of them by using an old Indian trick wherein you smear a glob of Smucker's grape jelly on your patio, and when an ant gets into the blob, you simply grab it and plop it into your farm.

Unfortunately, it turns out that the particular brand of ants we have on our patio does not respond well to being grabbed, so instead of being educational, they'd just lie on top of the sand, encased in jelly, twitching. My son was concerned about this, but fortunately I was able, as an aware parent, to explain the situation in sensitive ecological terms.

"These are ants," I explained. "We hate them."

This is not to suggest, by the way, that I have anything against Smucker's products. Au contraire (literally, "I have nothing against Smucker's products"). Once at a bar mitzvah I met a man whose life was saved by a jar of Smucker's strawberry preserves. I am not making this up. He was returning from the store with the preserve jar in a bag stuck inside his coat, and a mugger attempted to stab him, and the jar deflected the knife, thus saving his life. He wrote a letter about this to the Smucker's company, which sent him a whole case of strawberry preserves. I bet he looks ridiculous carrying it around inside his coat, but at least he's safe.

And safety is always the No. 1 topic when you're talking about Useful Cooking Tips and Hints, which as you may recall is what we're doing here. According to the Institute For Consumer Alarm, your kitchen is one of the most fatal places in your home. The No. 1 cause of kitchen death, of course, is eating an entire tube of Pillsbury's chocolate-chip cookie dough raw.

Nobody ever takes the time to heat it up. More than two-thirds of the total world supply is consumed right at the Pillsbury factory, the floors of which are littered with the bodies of moaning, dough-bloated workers.

Also, the odds are that your kitchen contains large quantities of microwaves, which, let's stop kidding ourselves, are deadly atomic radiation. Look at the evidence. Years ago, the electricity industry purchased vast quantities of deadly atomic radiation for use in nuclear power plants, many of which had to be shut down for safety reasons when nearby gardens started producing 400-pound zucchinis. So the electricity industry was stuck with all this excess radiation, and suddenly, conveniently, they come out with this new "miracle appliance" that doesn't get hot but can cook a hot dog in 30 seconds and cause an egg (Kids! Try this at home!) to actually explode.

And we're supposed to believe that this is made possible by "microwaves", friendly harmless Ozzie Nelson rays that we're not supposed to worry about even though they are capable of easily penetrating a convenience-store burrito that you couldn't cut with a machete. Next time you're in the department store microwave section, take a close look at the salespersons' sports jackets, and try to think of a way you could obtain mutant colors (or, for that matter, salespersons) like those WITHOUT exposure to atomic radiation.

This is why top home economists recommend that you limit your food-preparation activities to the Two Basic Food Groups, namely (1) Takeout and (2) Delivery. And if you must go into a kitchen, you should carry a protective jar of Smucker's brand strawberry preserves, although I should point out, in case the Smucker's people thoughtfully decide to send me a gift in exchange for mentioning their name 10 times (counting these: Smucker's Smucker's Smucker's), that I myself am a boysenberry man.

NEXT WEEK'S PRACTICAL HOMEMAKER TOPIC IS: Knit Right or Die.

silly superstition
TU|080205|0605|709 Was mentally sorting my bills to check whether I owe anyone money cos it's inauspicious to carry over debts to the New Year. To my horror, I still owe Zhiqiang $26 cos I asked him to help me buy a zhongruan gig bag from Synwin last week! Oh dear!! How?? Maybe I can do a transfer at the ATM later... *perspires*

sunny afternoon
TU|080205|1210|708 Chinese New Year's Eve! And I'm typing this from home cos school ended at 11 a.m. Ah... nice sunny afternoon and I'm enjoying the quietude in my cool and cosy bedroom.

The CNY concert in school just now was blander than last year's and the mascot competition wasn't as exciting too. (Last year a graduating class handmade an elaborate dragon that was carried by many boys and they danced around with so much vigor and humor.) The new VP did a very PR gesture by shaking hands with every single teacher, and our CNY gift from the school was four mandarin oranges. (-_-) Nevertheless, it's two full days of holiday from tomorrow onwards! Won't be visiting relatives cos grandma just passed away last year and we're not supposed to celebrate CNY too outwardly. Will take the time to recuperate from the "internal injuries" suffered in school. ;)

fate's will
MO|070205|1123|707 An entry from my friend's blog. I feel the same at times:

Took my IPPT test; everything went very smoothly, but perhaps I still have not fully grasped my new found ability haha; it was so reminiscent of last year... when I shocked myself by easily getting a 9s for shuttle run, whereas last year I was still struggling to get a silver timing. For 2.4km, last year I din run a gold even though I could, cos I deemed it impossible; this year I never believed i could break 9mins, yet I realised I could, luckily, in mid run, and forged on ahead to make it in 8.35mins.

Lesson learnt: Know your limits, but learn your new limits fast.

But why? Ironic fate's will is, for my friend who loves running so much more, should not be blessed with a natural endowment of stamina; yet me, who exploits his ability to chase time and buses, for personal privileges, to train mental strength, and all benefits... but seldom thought of running as an interest or trained for it, should receive such a disproportionate gift of speed and stamina.

Not that I'm not grateful, it's an enabling ability in the army :) but.. what's the price?

visits to the zoo, 4 days a week
MO|070205|0849|706 Gek Hong told me last year when he was teaching 4T1 that they would spoil his day if their lessons were the first periods of the day. This year, out of 4 days which I see 4T1, 3 of them have lessons scheduled as the first periods. Imagine how bad that is for me.

It is okay to teach a class that has lower learning ability - I firmly believe that their learning attitude is capable of making a difference. But to teach a class that is totally care-less about learning, where students wander out of the classroom to "feel the breeze" every few minutes whenever I turn my back to write on the board and they enjoy themselves making senseless noise THROUGHOUT the whole lesson... I think an animal-trainer should take over my place to tame them before they come for lessons.

10 questions for bored people
SU|060205|1946|705 1: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says.
"... and down and singing out dirty slovos, and it was a nice malenky cottage, I'll say that."
- A Clockwork Orange, by Anthony Burgess.

2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
My scanner.

3: What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Super Sunday, before I fell asleep.

4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is.
7.30 p.m.

5: Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
7.49 p.m.

6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Show Me Forgiveness, by Bjork.

7: When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
This morning. BH practice.

8: Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
Ling's blog, where I got these questions.

9: Did you dream last night?
Not sure. I don't usually remember my dreams.

10: When did you last laugh?
I think it was when I was watching American Idol two nights ago, although it's quite sad that some contestants have been deceived all their lives by their parents and friends into believing that their vocals are heavenly.

prickly green grass
SU|060205|1418|704 BH practice. The Green Grass song still sounds very alien to me. Probably that is precisely what the composer wants to convey: a shapeless melody, a feel of formlessness, a series of random and fleeting thoughts, an impressionistic sketch of his inhibited urge for nonconformity.

ugly
FR|040205|1449|703 There is some petty conflict going on in the Science department right now. Our department won the best department in ESSS last year (largely because we won a cluster award in a LIT project) and we got a monetary award of two thousand bucks from the school. Last week, our HOD Ms T went round asking everyone individually how we should split the money. While asking us, she kept stressing that it was only Bala and her who contributed the most in that LIT project, and she subtly (though not subtle enough) implied that the money should be split only between Bala and her, despite the fact that the award was in recognition for the whole department's effort. I was fine with the split of money because it is true that the rest of us only performed minor roles in the LIT project, anyway two thousand bucks when split by the whole department reduces to only a meagre sum which I'm not particularly interested. I suggested that she could set out a small sum to give the department a treat, then split the remaining sum between Bala and her. But Ms T is taking it one step further today by getting us to sign a form in black and white which says, "The following teachers are not involved in the LIT project."

Why is she doing this? To negate us of our efforts? Just to get a larger share of the money (which I don't care about)? To use the document against us to say that we have not done our job well?

She's probably still oblivious of how her actions have destroyed our morale and the little respect that we still have for her.

the two 2e1s
TH|030205|2127|702 The class 2E1 seems to always be blessed with wonderful students.

I was the form teacher of last year's 2E1, although they're not the best in studies, their spirit and liveliness were so adorable that I still miss them sometimes... And I think the liking is mutual - whenever I pass by the classrooms of the ex-2e1s, these ex-2e1s will wave at me and greet me affectionately. Even Derek, who used to give attitude problems for every other teacher (he still does), greets me and chats with me when we meet at the canteen, although my opening sentence will always be "Tuck in your shirt!" because his shirt was (and still is) always untucked. Derek will then say in the ah-beng way, "Sorry lah! Not my fault! The shirt came out by itself!" and tuck in his shirt with a smile. It's these little interactions that made last year so enjoyable and memorable... When Lynn met me yesterday, she also said she misses me and regrets not treasuring me last year. Haha, so mushy. (Sadly, somehow I don't feel the same chemistry with my present form class...)

This year's 2E1 is even better (Salena is their form teacher, I teach the class Science). The class is so enthusiastic about EVERYTHING that the Salena didn't need to do anything to push them - they did a class webpage, decorated the classroom elaborately, participated in the class mascot competition all on their own. One complaint though, they get excited too easily - very noisy. :)

start of the green mission
WE|020205|1757|701 First Environment Club session, and it went extremely well. There was full attendance - a total of 14 students (considered quite a large number for a new CCA): 10 were Sec 1s while 4 were Sec 3s, including Wenjie and Stephanie.

Asked the students for their expectations of the club - since they're the pioneer batch, I'd want them to decide what they want to do so that they'll feel more ownership with the club. Also told them what the club entails: achieving the Hibiscus Award in the Green Audit Project, attaining the Sungei Buloh "Young Naturalist" badge, going for excursions and nature trails, making models using recycled materials, promoting the school community's awareness about the environment...

Then did a little "Care Test" with them to see how observant they were with the school environment, and most of them actually scored quite well. Also briefed them a little about the Green Audit Project, which required them to do surveys and investigations on the school compound to find out how 'green' the school is. Divided the 14 of them into 2 groups, one headed by Wenjie and the other by Stephanie (they volunteered). Told them to get to know each other within the group and plan their Green Audit investigations for the following weeks using the handouts given. Initially I never expected them to start the project right away, but the kids were so excited and enthusiastic about the project that both groups asked for permission to set off to count the number of trees in the school. I was of course very glad to let them start work. (Surprisingly, within the tiny premises of my school, there're more than 100 trees!)

Glad that the first session went well. It was tiring, but I felt energised when I saw the students enjoying themselves. :)

the little devils
WE|020205|1007|700 Flu symptoms are showing, but I still have five more periods to go and I have to conduct the first session for my Environment Club in the afternoon.

Had two periods with the notorious 4T1 just now. Felt really miserable because I couldn't project my voice and I didn't conduct the class as professionally as I could. A few students were walking around for no reason and some were simply chatting loudly among themselves (as usual) but I didn't have the energy to stop them. Instead I only concentrated on those who were listening and ignored the rest. A few boys even caught a dead lizard and threw it around the class, sending the girls running round the classroom and screaming at the top of their voices. I knew from the girls' facial expressions that some of them were not genuinely scared of the lizard but were merely seizing the opportunity to scream as loud as they wished (they LOVE to make noise). At that moment, I felt really tired and I chose to shut my senses to the commotion cos I was physically drained. Told those who were listening (namely Bazilah and a few others) to ignore the clowns and concentrate on our classwork.

For those who have been in Express, Special or Gifted Stream all their lives, that is the TRUE meaning of "disruptive students" - not students who ask too many questions. ;)

drifting, drifting, drifting...
WE|020205|0834|699 Driftwood
Travis

Everything is open
Nothing is set in stone
Rivers turn to oceans
Oceans tide you home
Home is where the heart is
But your heart had to roam
Drifting over bridges
Never to return
Watching bridges burn

You're driftwood floating underwater
Breaking into pieces, pieces, pieces
Just driftwood, hollow and of no use
Waterfalls will find you, bind you, grind you

Nobody is an island
Everyone had to go
Pillars turn to butter
Butterflying low
Low is where your heart is
But your heart has to grow
Drifting under bridges
Never with the flow

And you really didn't think it would happen
But it really is the end of the line
So I'm sorry that you've turned to driftwood
But you've been drifting for a long, long time

Everywhere there's trouble
Nowhere's safe to go
Pushes turn to shovels
Shovelling the snow
Frozen you have chosen
The path you wish to go
Drifting now forever
And forever more
Until you reach your shore

You're driftwood floating underwater
Breaking into pieces, pieces, pieces
Just driftwood, hollow and of no use
Waterfalls will find you, bind you, grind you

And you really didn't think it would happen
But it really is the end of the line
So I'm sorry that you've turned to driftwood
But you've been drifting for a long, long time
You've been drifting, for a long, long
Drifting for a long, long time