the last entry of 2004
Friday, December 31, 2004 @ 06:23 p.m.

2004 has been a year of mixed feelings.

1. Had my first full year of teaching - thanks to my colleagues who have been such a joy to work with.

2. Enjoyed my interactions with students, parents and my first form class 2E1 - all of you have been my source of motivation (especially the parents who have been so unexpectedly encouraging).

3. Took my first violin exam - the good results could not have been possible without my two violin teachers.

4. Said goodbye to Friends - I will miss them.

5. Neglected BHCO and liuqin - hope I'll be more involved in 2005.

6. Have not gone to Orchard or watched movies as much as I wanted - should my new year resolution be 'to watch at least one movie per month'?

7. Have not spent enough time with friends - shall be sending many CNY cards, for a start.

8. Have become richer, but have also learnt that money goes as quickly as it comes - I have to think twice before spending, especially with online purchases.

9. Have become more irritable - I need a more conscious and firm control of my emotions.

10. Favorite album of 2004: Bjork's Medulla - groundbreaking soundscape created mainly from the simplest and most beautiful form of music - vocals.

11. Favorite movie of 2004: The Incredibles - whole package of thrill, depth, reality and fantasy.

12. All stress/depression/unhappiness can be overcome and they will pass eventually: to be living is a blessing - my condolences for the broken families in the tsunami.

1231015
Thursday, December 30, 2004 @ 06:08 p.m.

Went to Enji's house after a 4-hour long Science departmental meeting. Was quite exhausted by the time I reached. Didn't do much. Just surveyed his room and played the ruan for a while. Zhiyong was there too, doing his homework, trying hard not to be distracted by our playing. Then Enji showed me short clips of his idol Nadia and tried performing a few gymnastic stunts. Hmm. Guess he still has to train a lot harder to reach viewable standards. Heheh.

gloomy sunday
Wednesday, December 29, 2004 @ 05:58 p.m.

Sunday is gloomy, my hours are slumberless
Dearest, the shadows I live with are numberless
Little white flowers will never awaken you
Not where the black coach of sorrow has taken you
Angels have no thought of ever returning you
Would they be angry if I thought of joining you
Gloomy Sunday

Sunday is gloomy, with shadows I spend it all
My heart and I have decided to end it all
Soon there'll be flowers and prayers that are said, I know
But let them not weep, let them know that I'm glad to go
Death is no dream, for in death I'm caressing you
With the last breath of my soul, I'll be blessing you
Gloomy Sunday

Dreaming, I was only dreaming
I wake and I find you asleep in the deep of my heart
Dear darling, I hope that my dream never haunted you
My heart is telling you how much I wanted you
Gloomy Sunday

Everything becomes so trivial in the face of nature's wrath. The idiom 不能同年同月同日生、愿能同年同月同日死 becomes a sick joke on Sunday when hundreds of thousands of people in various countries were robbed of their lives due to a wicked prank played by tectonic plates (try figuring out the number of family members that were affected). I find myself watching Channel NewsAsia for hours every night mortified by the terror and despair caused by the destruction, and holding back my tears for the devastating tragedy and mourning people. This could have happened in Singapore if not for our neighbours which shielded us in the path of destruction (then we wouldn't be merely "feeling the tremors")!

What I find most heartwarming is the compassion of human race that came from everywhere when tragedy struck and its aftermath had to be dealt with. In Singapore alone, more than a million bucks were donated to Red Cross within two days, my school has also called forth a donation drive to help the countries in need - who says Singaporeans are indifferent and cold?

While terrorists are busy racking their brains thinking of clever ways to kill, nature steps in to show us who's the real boss. But I (choose to) believe human's bond will keep us all together and help share the burdens despite our frailty and differences.

kung fu hustle
Monday, December 27, 2004 @ 11:30 p.m.

功夫 is good! First thing that appealed to me was its soundtrack (as usual), ranging from Chinese orchestral pieces like 渔舟唱晚 and pop classic 只要为你活一天, to Sarasate's very dramatic Zigeunerweisen. Then the almost flawless special effects were also unseen before in Mandarin movies. Not exactly hilarious, but you can expect several brainless slapstick moments (classic Steven Chow which I simply love). This was one Mandarin movie which I felt was too short, without many filler scenes to make up screen time. And I think it did justice to Chinese music and martial arts, albeit in a light-hearted manner. A little too violent though. Will be looking forward to the sequel.

debut
Monday, December 27, 2004 @ 01:49 p.m.

整理书柜时挖出了一堆《华岗文学》。记得中学时总觉得自己怀才不遇，文章写得那么好，怎么却从没被刊登在《华岗》呢？（当时觉得作品被刊登在《华岗》是一种荣耀，将自己霎时的灵感印成永恒。）不好意思投稿，却又奢望哪一天会遇上识才的伯乐，后来好象终于认命投稿了几次，文章却都没被录取。

结果有一天翻阅刚出炉的《华岗》时，竟欣然发现自己的名字在目录里出现，高兴得什么似的，定下神时才看到刊登的却是我的假期作业：电影《倩女幽魂》观后感。帮我投稿的是我的华文老师，而那老师后来还拿了这篇文章去参加一项影评写作的比赛，竟然还在比赛中得了奖。一篇我随便写的、不值一提的垃圾竟成了我在“文艺界”的处女之作，对我这个自命清高的书生来说，真是一份颇大的讽刺。现在回想起当时的自信与幼稚，确实有点可笑。

six weeks
Sunday, December 26, 2004 @ 11:08 p.m.

Six hours/episodes/weeks of Six Weeks, and I laughed and cried with the characters in this best local series ever made. If it were a contender in the Star Awards, it'll easily bag Best Script, Actor, Actress, Supporting Cast, Editing... instead of some silly Mandarin drama.

The series also marked the end of Channel i, the only free channel that screens movies EVERY night, sometimes showing gems that Channel 5 will NEVER show (Channel 5 will always rather recycle old popular shows like Jurassic Park a million times)... Glad that there is still Channel U to spice up the local free TV.

8.9
Sunday, December 26, 2004 @ 08:09 p.m.

8.9 on the Richter scale?! The massive earthquake in Indonesia hours ago was one of the biggest in history. Whatever incurred such wrath from nature?! Sighs.

selling the o.c. on chrismukkah
Saturday, December 25, 2004 @ 06:35 p.m.

Finished watching all 27 episodes of the first season of The O.C., and what I want to say about the series is already spelt out in the review by Amazon.com: "It looked like a standard teen soap on the outside, but once you scratched the surface of the glittery, sun-dappled Fox drama The O.C., you'd find underneath a number of surprisingly well-developed characters, fun plots that played around with their soap conventions and some of the wittiest dialogue..."

To top it off, every episode of the series features great music by brilliant artistes whom I've never noticed before. The season finale, for example, ended with the melancholic and very touching Hallelujah by late Jeff Buckley - the singer who had only one official record released before he died but inspired the likes of Brad Pitt, Penelope Cruz, Coldplay, Starsailor and Ryan Adams (whose stripped-back rendition of Wonderwall in The O.C. was equally charming).

For those who are thirsty for a good series after Friends or Ally McBeal, or something that is sexy, witty, hilarious and sad at the same time, watch The O.C.

watching, waiting, searching, living
Saturday, December 25, 2004 @ 02:28 p.m.

In The Shadows
By The Rasmus

No sleep, no sleep until I'm done finding the answer
Won't stop, won't stop before I find the cure for this cancer
Sometimes, I feel like going down, I'm so disconnected
Somehow, I know that I'm haunted to be wanted

I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows, for my time
I've been searching, I've been living
For tomorrows, all my life

In the shadows

They say, that I must learn to kill before I can feel safe
But I, I'd rather kill myself than turn into their slave
Sometimes, I feel that I should go and play with the thunder
Somehow, I just don't wanna stay and wait for a wonder

I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows, for my time
I've been searching, I've been living
For tomorrows, all my life

Lately, I've been walking, walking in circles
Watching, waiting for something
Feel me, touch me, heal me
Come take me higher

I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows, for my time
I've been searching, I've been living
For tomorrows, all my life

I've been watching, I've been waiting
I've been searching, I've been living
For tomorrows
In the shadows

goldwynism
Friday, December 24, 2004 @ 04:34 p.m.

Examples of goldwynism:

1. Include me out.
2. When I want your opinion I will give it to you.
3. I'll give you a definite maybe.
4. If I could drop dead right now, I would be the happiest man alive.
5. Anybody who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
6. I may not always be right, but I am never wrong.
7. In two words im-possible.

Love of the Loveless
By Eels

Don't got a lot of time
Don't give a damn
Don't tell me what to do
I am the man
If there's a god up there
Something above
God, shine your light down here
Shine on the love
Love of the loveless

Don't have too many friends
Never felt at home
Always been my own man
Pretty much alone
I know how to get through
And when push comes to shove
I got something that you need
I got the love
Love of the loveless

All around you people walking
Empty hearts and voices talking
Looking for and finding
Nothing

Don't got a lot of time
Don't really care
Not selling anything
Buyer beware
If there's a god up there
Something above
God, shine your light down here
Shine on the love
Love of the loveless

Don't got a lot of time
Don't give a damn
Don't tell me what to do
I am the man
Love of the loveless

dark waters
Friday, December 24, 2004 @ 03:47 p.m.

Just completed Stage 3 of my springcleaning project. Wiped the windows, grills, ledges and blinds in my room. Initially wanted to wipe all the windows of the whole house but my mom said I was too ambitious, that my hands would rot by the time I finish two rooms. And hell she was right. When I finished my room, my hands already felt like the skin was about to peel off after soaking them in detergent and water for hours. It really wasn't such an easy job, reaching for the difficult corners and getting rid of stubborn stains that formed when dust+sand+dirt metamorphosed into hard rocks on the tracks of sliding grills. But it's actually quite fun! Though I don't foresee myself doing this anytime soon.

merry x'mas!
Friday, December 24, 2004 @ 12:24 p.m.

the fight
Thursday, December 23, 2004 @ 06:14 p.m.

Received two Christmas cards today. One was from Jieying (I wonder how she got my address!), the other was from my long-time friend Jon. He wrote three paragraphs in his usual scribbly handwriting - poignant and encouraging:

Looking back, I have known you for more than 10 years. Some things have changed - we now have our careers. Some things haven't - we are still learning and fulfilling our dreams... I know it's not easy - keep up the fight...

Indeed. Keep up the fight.

cage and dreams
Thursday, December 23, 2004 @ 02:53 p.m.

An excerpt from Cameron Duncan's dfk6498 :

The worst part about being in here is how time ticks by incessantly, so slowly. Being caged doesn't mean that time stops, for we all live our lives by the clock. And so too do I live mine, but much slower. Seconds feel like minutes, minutes like hours, hours like days, days like months. It's like chasing a rainbow to no resolve. You just chase it.

I've found the best way to pass the time is to sleep. Because when I sleep, I dream. And when I dream, I can rise above the walls of the prison. I dream of waking up among lilies and getting that feeling in my body that only comes when you're by yourself. I dream of the simple things that possess so much beauty for even the most unfortunate man. I dream of listening to the whisper of my breathing, paying attention to the function more so than at any routine moment. I dream of seeing things so beautiful that it hurts to watch them.

Freedom is taken so much for granted when you don't appreciate the small things that you have...

age and perfection
Thursday, December 23, 2004 @ 02:51 p.m.

An extract from a friend's blog:

I realised there exists an inverse relationship between our age and our concept of infinity. You see, when you were young and fat, while you still wore that silly grin on your face everywhere you went, the concept of infinity was as it was, infinity. Everything seemed to be limitless and Time was yours. This was probably because there was nothing much to do in the first place. And possibly also because most environments and situations, most events and people were foreign to us, waiting to be explored, which added to the whole impression that the world was borderless and boundless. Our parents' money seemed to be inexhaustible That edge of the Flat Globe, never existed.

As we grow older, things begin to sink in, and the cold hard reality unmasks itself to us. We begin to realise that things don't seem as limitless and infinite as they were in the past. We can only travel so far within the limits of our planet, for that rare few, within the limits of the planet and its Moon. Money, as we know of it, has become quick to finish, and what was a mere dollar a day for recess progressed to about 50 dollars a week or even a day for most teenagers, I believe.

But the real irony behind all of this is that, despite all this, despite our knowledge the world is not as vast as we thought it out to be, we don't seem to cut back on our expenditure, not only in monetary terms per se, but in all other aspects as well. We begin to take in more oxygen than we used to, we begin to explore more places that we have never been to before, we embark on adventures that we only dreamed of in the past. The images of Daddy and Mommy that were in the past, huge and all-seeing, start to shrink as the years go by, and they become less and less perfect.

What's my point then? Nothing.

I was just bored, really.

Haha, caught you there, right. I just really want to show how perfection is rarely possible, especially when you're away from the safe boundaries of childhood and an innocent mind. Once you start knowing how difficult perfection is, you normally tire out and stop pursuing it.

But I really don't want to give up.

a career in music
Thursday, December 23, 2004 @ 01:01 p.m.

Christine asked me whether I'll still be teaching when my bond ends, "Aren't you intending to do something in music?" I replied that I'll probably be considering that when I retire. She said she has always wanted to dance and she's planning to take up dance classes when she retires too (she's a Math teacher now) - not the agile kind, but basically to just dance and enjoy herself and fulfill her childhood dreams.

Then when I met Jacinth on the bus, she asked me the same question, whether I am intending to stay on in teaching. She said she'll be quitting when her bond finishes (she's a music teacher in a secondary school right now) and become a full-time piano teacher.

I'm starting to consider the possibilities of myself being a violin teacher, it seems to be very plausible technically... I'll be taking grade 4 next year when I'm 28. Grades 5 to 8 require at least a year each, so by the time I finish I'll be 32. Assuming I pass every year and I take the music theory exams concurrently, I'll have completed grade 8 in theory as well. Then I'll probably spend another 2 years to earn a diploma in music (I can study on my own, take up a part-time course or attend private lessons). If everything goes well, I can be a violin teacher in a neighborhood music school by the time I'm 34! I believe I'll prefer to be a violin teacher because I assume private music tutors have more flexible teaching hours, hence more time for my family and leisure (I can teach my little son/daughter to play the violin), and there's also that human touch (which is what I value in teaching) when teaching music - in fact more of it than in classroom teaching. Most importantly of all, I'll definitely be enjoying myself because I love music!

Nah, I'm not saying I'll definitely quit teaching and go into music, but it's a comforting thought to know that it's not a waste of time to indulge in my hobby - that all may lead to something fruitful eventually, "and it's worth fighting for" *. Hmm. Noble idea indeed. Must have been watching too much of LOTR.

* LOTR DVD fans should be able to tell which track/chapter this line came from. :)

two firsts
Thursday, December 23, 2004 @ 12:28 p.m.

Tried to sleep at 11 pm last night but my mind just refused to stop working (haven't been sleeping before 2 am lately). At 12 am I finally gave up, decided to watch some boring TV programs and eventually slept at around 1 am (late night programs do serve a purpose, huh?).

The reason for sleeping early was the secondary one registration this morning. Oooh, Singaporeans are really kiasu. Parents were told to report to school at any time between 8.30 am to 11 am, but there were people who turned up at 7.30 am with their kids. Christine and I were in-charge of 1E1, and 39 out of 40 students were registered by 9 am. So, this was good kiasu-ism in a way cos it made our work flow very smoothly and we could "close shop" early if not for that final student whom we waited for two hours and never turned up. While waiting, Christine and I chatted among ourselves and with the prefects helping us. Christine said she's thinking of taking up dancing and commented that I should take up salsa too cos I have the body for it. She's the first person ever to say that I have the body for dancing. Hohoho.

Met Jacinth on the bus. Haven't met her for months and her first remark was, "You've put on weight!" This could have been an insulting remark if it was addressed to other people, but for me, I was overjoyed when I heard it. I've been dreaming of gaining weight for like since the beginning of time! She's also the first person ever to say that I've gained weight. Hehehe.

to-do's
Wednesday, December 22, 2004 @ 01:55 p.m.

Just had a haircut - like it a lot cos it's very short and neat. It's been on my to-do list for a while but I never got to it until today because I was too lazy/occupied(?)/can't-be-bothered. In fact there are many other items on my to-do list:

1. prepare for next year's lessons (have completed two chapters' work),
2. plan and get ready for my major presentation to the East zone schools (I'm supposed to teach them a new teaching strategy called SAIL),
3. finish watching the whole first season of The O.C. and the LOTR appendices DVDs (of which I'm not happy that Gollum's Song had so little coverage),
4. practise guitar (Recuerdos de la Alhambra is so hard!) and violin (now that the second and third positions have kicked in, I am having difficulties handling literally).

Merely thinking about them knowing I have only less than two weeks left before school reopens gives me a headache.

the HDB journals
Tuesday, December 21, 2004 @ 11:28 a.m.

A few entries from the online diary of Alfian, who used to be my platoon-mate and has now become one of Singapore's most famous writers/poets/playwrights:

Closing Down Sale
By Alfian Bin Sa'at

The phrase 'Closing Down Sale', printed prominently on a banner fronting the shop, provokes ambivalence. One part responds to the word 'sale': the consumer is stirred to action. Another part, however, is activated by 'closing down': one wonders how the shopkeepers are coping with hard times. The shop thus successfully manages to blur the line between retail and charity.

There is a shop across my block that has been advertising its demise for about a year. 'Everything Must Go', declares one of its banners. The net effect of such signage is to justify a shop design that is mostly haphazard: there are no well ordered shelves and aesthetic displays, only plastic baskets containing mounds of rifled-through items signposted by neon-coloured price tags. There are batteries ('not for sale outside of South Korea'), face towels ('made in China'), plastic clothes pegs (in sets of eight) and even rattan canes that are topped with pastel-coloured hooks (it has always bewildered me, an affectation of a candy cane at the tip of an instrument administering pain).

As I pay for a trio of pens at the cashier, a thought strikes me: each purchase will help to delay the shop's closure by keeping business afloat. However, at the same time, each day the shop remains in business reduces its advertising credo to a tired lie. As long as there is someone to buy the stocks, the shop will never close down. And as long as the shop announces it is closing down, providing the illusion of a desperate refugee auction, people will buy. Retail and charity: a business-like part will point out the fraudulent advertising: how can a shop claim to close down yet lift its shutters every morning for 12 whole months? A charitable part, though, will say: no, one of these days, at a point in the near or far-off future, the signs will finally speak the truth. Inevitability has been known to take its own sweet time.

Letterbox
By Alfian Bin Sa'at

The letterbox is located at the lift lobby, a rectangular block of metal whose facade consists of identical receptacles, each one labelled with a unit number. It stands as a miniature replica of a block of flats, where apartments are also designated by their unit numbers, locked and anonymous and arranged in a grid-like pattern. It is a doll's house where one can imagine each receptacle containing not letters but tiny furniture. A computer sits in the little house with the Internet bill; a piano in the one with the music certificate; a pillow radiates its preciousness in the one with a National Service enlistment document; chairs overturned in rage in the little house with an electricity bill printed in red ink. Sometimes what already exists in a little house is a compressed scene that will later unfold in the actual apartment, swelling to its full size and magnitude: reverse Chinese boxes, a bomb. A postcard from overseas will be passed from hand to hand, subjected to inordinate scrutiny; reading glasses will be worn, comments made on the stamp affixed and the penmanship; smiles will be worn on faces before being finally erased by sleep. A fashion catalogue, addressed to someone who is already dead, will generate a scenario where a woman opens a cupboard in the middle of the night and packs her daughter's clothes into a rubbish bag. There is a temptation to peer through the flaps into the little houses, but one knows only darkness will be encountered. It goes without saying: the lights are all upstairs.

Stone Table
By Alfian Bin Sa'at

Even as the void deck is a space of relentless transit, there is a kind of touchstone represented by the stone table, a space which invites rest. Around the table are six cylindrical stone chairs, and on the table surface itself is carved the board layout to a game of either Chinese chess or draughts. The fact that such public furniture is made of stone invests it with a sense of the mythic, with the permanence of statue and gravestone. However, despite the stone table being inscribed as a space for 'retirement recreation', it also plays host to other communities: housewives waiting for their children who are studying at a nearby kindergarten, void deck amateur guitarists, teenagers receiving tuition, as meeting point for lovers or resting spot for those locked out of their homes. The austerity of the stone table has not repelled the young; conversely the juvenile graffiti on its surface has not deterred the old from utilising it as temporary refuge. In upgraded estates, however, the stone chairs have been replaced by plastic ones, whose perforated backings are designed to thwart attempts at graphic vandalism. These new furniture are probably as resistant, if not more, to wear and tear. And yet there remains a distinction to be made between the ageless and the non-biodegradable.

Bamboo Poles
By Alfian Bin Sa'at

On the kitchen facade of a HDB block, one can often see bamboo poles extruding from bamboo-pole holders. There is much that can be observed on HDB facades that can give a clue to the occupants of certain units; these include air-con compressors (as a child, I associated a blank wooden board on the outside wall of the master bedroom with poverty), window renovations, curtains and Venetian blinds. Bamboo poles, however, are great social levellers: one cannot deduce the social class of the occupants simply by the number of bamboo poles on display, their lengths or what colour they are in. The laundry however is another matter: branded shirts and cheap underwear advertise their owners' class standing. In the event of rain, the denuded bamboo poles once again create an egalitarian illusion. Yet another mirage is generated when one views this facade from below: the bamboo poles have become the stilts to a kelong, that wooden structure built above the sea, with wooden piles driven into the seabed. Utopia is conflated with nostalgia: in this axial view of history, there is only a humble fishing village, where children play on jetties - their bodies wet, tanned and unclothed.

celebration by the beach
Sunday, December 19, 2004 @ 11:01 p.m.

Beach outing with BH people at ECP to celebrate Yingjie's birthday*. We found a shady place beside the sea, laid out mats and settled ourselves down, some of us chatted, some went cycling and some played cards. Most of our food came from Jiajia and Junbin, who kindly gave us a treat for winning in the NAC competition. Mi'er, although in Australia, had her mom to prepare turkey for all of us, and I thought that was the best part of our dinner. (Mi'er, I miss your sushi!)

Yj, Yy, Jon, Ds, Jy and me played cards from evening till night, and I had to use my phone's camera flash in order to see our cards and the stingray which Yingying and I were trying hard to scrape for meat. When it's become simply too dark to play cards or chat comfortably, all of us sat in a circle to play 终极密码, and those who lost had to do a forfeit. Most of us lost at least once, and many of our forfeits revolved around trees beside us: I had to shout "I love you!" to a tree (there's a tent beside the tree so I was half afraid that someone might pop out of the tent and ask, 'Me?'), Yingjie and Zhiqiang had to do a Bollywood dance around the tree, Deshun had to do a pole-dance with a tree (What else could we possibly do with a tree?!), Jiajia had to drink a mysterious concoction (which she happened to like), Yingying had to eat an ice-cream cone even when all of us were already bloated with food, Zhiqiang and Yingyun had to do a "safe kiss", Shuinan and Lihua had to do a REAL kiss...

Played till we've run out of ideas for forfeits (I'm glad we didn't have to kiss the dog - there was a very cute dog from our neighbouring mat that kept popping in to join us). Cut the cake, took several photos, then parted. It's been a nice outing (although I'd have preferred more sea breeze) and I'm surprised that so many of us turned up! Looking forward to the next BH outing...

*(17 present, in order of appearance: Jiajia, Jing'an, me, Jianyuan, Zhiqiang, Deshun, Jonathan, Yingjie, Yingying, Shuinan, Lihua, Jiaqi, Yingyun, Junbin, Yunfeng, Zewang, Zhiying.)

the lord of the rings
Sunday, December 19, 2004 @ 01:32 a.m.

Finished watching all three movies of the extended version of The Lord of the Rings (not all 681 minutes at one go of course). Also watched the documentaries on Gollum - my favorite character in the story - and they made me appreciate and adore Gollum even more dearly. Makes me want to re-read LOTR. But I guess that'll have to wait. School is starting soon...

i am still the same
Friday, December 17, 2004 @ 11:32 p.m.

How do you react when old neighbours come to visit and they make the comment, "After so many years, you are still the same"? I am always at a loss of how to react and whether I should feel flattered or insulted. Should I ask what they meant by that? They might not know how to answer cos they could have just wanted to make some easy conversation and didn't really mean it - then both of us would be embarassed. If they answered, I might not like what I hear. And I don't like to talk much about the old me anyway... So I usually just smile and excuse myself to get them drinks. By the time I come back, they'd have engaged another conversation with my parents.

I guess they're right.

I am still the same.

greedy dvd vendors
Thursday, December 16, 2004 @ 02:44 a.m.

Don't understand why Singapore retail likes to charge so much for imported stuff. Like the LOTR EE DVDs, Amazon.com is selling the box set at only US$85 (around S$140) including shipping and handling costs, but Kino is selling it at $240! Same for The O.C. DVD. Amazon.com is selling it at only US$55 (around S$90) including miscellaneous costs, and HMV is selling it at $166! Both are sold at nearly twice the price of what I have to pay if I'd ordered online! For those people without a credit card, who can blame them for buying pirated stuff when the originals are so grossly overpriced over here?! Is it not equally unethical to exploit consumers who loyally buy originals?

So, why do I still buy most of my stuff locally when I know they're more expensive? Hee. My mom will nag about wasting money whenever she sees Amazon.com parcels delivered to our house, so I'd rather buy discreetly and pay more in order to save her energy and my ears. :)

contented
Thursday, December 16, 2004 @ 02:38 a.m.

Watched the NAC competition prize-winners' concert. The only piece that really left a deep impression on me was 山韵 played by 吴强. Also got her autograph on the books that were authored by her (although she merely scribbled).

Very excited today cos I got The Lord of the Rings trilogy Special Extended Version DVDs (at 20% discount!), 徐阳's zhongruan book from Junhui (with several exclusive scores), and last but definitely not least, The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy and Other Stories as a Christmas present from Jiajia *hugs and kisses*!

I am a very contented man today.

elected election officer
Tuesday, December 14, 2004 @ 04:53 p.m.

Just came back from an elections briefing at MOE HQ. I've been selected to serve the nation as an election official and in the event of an election, I will be required to assist in the voting process at polling stations. There'll be a presidental election before August 2005 and a general election before 2007, so I'm expecting to be called up pretty soon...

Voting is a very simple process for voters (just mark a cross without the influence/help of a second person) but it can be quite tricky for us conducting officials. Several interesting questions came up (and these are REAL case studies that have happened before), and we were told how we could tackle them:

What if a woman claims she is fainting and she needs to cut the queue? What if a "woman" turns up when it says Male in the IC? Can a lady bring her unattended child into the voting booth (all voters are supposed to be ALONE)? Can a voter bring in his pet to the voting booth (since the pet can't possibly "influence" his decision)? What if the voter is blind? What if an old lady who speaks an unfamiliar dialect does not know how to vote and you do not know how to teach her? What if a person insists that he wants to vote when his name cannot be found in the register but he has an IC to certify he's a Singaporean? Can election officials wear WHITE (since the color may favor a certain party and influence the voters)? The closing time for voting is 8 pm, what if a man comes in at 8 pm and his wife comes in at 8.01 pm cos she has to park the car?... The list goes on.

Hope I won't be encountering any of these situations. :/

final of finals
Monday, December 13, 2004 @ 06:45 p.m.

Watched the finals for dizi (open) and ensemble (open). Results for both categories were more or less expected. Jiajia got second (nobody got the first prize, so technically she's the best among the three contestants) with the most tear-inducing rendition of the second movement of 白蛇传 (I got goosebumps when she was playing). I thought Qilong would be tied with her cos he gave the first movement a rather classy and exquisite treatment - a very nice Chinese opera-singer feel - but he only got third, tied with the last contestant, Zhixuan. I guess it's because he didn't have much variations throughout the four movements, and of course he couldn't possibly rival a true blue female in expressing the feminine grievances of Madame White Snake.

Missed TENG Ensemble in the preliminary round, finally witnessed their prowess today - they're really very impressive with impeccable precision, contrasting dynamics and bold colours (their 丰年祭 was like textbook-material worth recording for later studies). Nobody could have faulted the judges for awarding them first. The Ruan Ensemble came in second, and HCAACO, third. Liked HCAACO's 秋雨 - very vivid descriptions of a lazy drizzle - both JJ and I are hoping to play the piece one day. :)

misjudge
Monday, December 13, 2004 @ 12:08 a.m.

Met up with Junhui to exchange some goodies and watch the finals for zhongruan senior category. Couldn't understand how the judges decided on the winners. Both Junhui and I didn't agree with the results, which probably explains why we are the audience and not the judges. Heh.

unravelling the memories
Sunday, December 12, 2004 @ 12:58 p.m.

I have a drawer that collects all my past presents and tiny little things that are of sentimental value. Just poured out everything, looked through them and packed them back neatly. A few things have rust beyond recognition and they've made their neighbours rust as well so I had to throw them away. Stage 2 of my springcleaning project completed.

Found gifts from my ex and friends in secondary and JC. Also uncovered several surprises - treasures that laid hidden for years and I almost forgot their existence - a touching handwritten short story written by her, a plastic bag full of bookmarks, a handmade photo frame, a pen from my secondary school best friend with my name engraved, friendship bands (used to be a big fad)... I especially love those handwritten notes on the gifts cos I feel close to the person as if he/she is speaking to me. Reading messages written years ago has a very time-transcending feel.

And it's amazing how I can remember distinctly and instantly which was from who, given my poor memory! The theory which says "good memories are easily forgotten and bad memories last" is so untrue.

Below is the short story which I mentioned (I remember it's written for some occasion to be acted/read out). I'm sure she won't mind me publishing it here, and I guess she's forgotten about it as well:

他开始注意到这位老妇人时，是他读高中的时候。每天，他总会乘搭火车上学，而那老妇人总是风雨不改地在火车月台上出现，好象在等待着某个不知名的人。有人说，她疯了，又有人说，她是在等待着一个说好要和她一起私奔的人。有人曾经看见她打开皮箱，里头装着的，竟是少女时代的衣服。

有一天，他心血来潮，决心等到老妇人离去。一直到深夜，那老妇人才站起来，走到月台上的黑板，这么写：

水，等你不到，我先走了。英留。

这天早晨，他照旧搭火车上学，却没看见那位老妇人，只见一群围观的人而老妇人的皮箱在轨道上开着，旁边正躺着老妇人的尸体。月台上的黑板上写着：

水，等你等了三十年，我先走了。英留。

the sony song
Sunday, December 12, 2004 @ 12:11 a.m.

Anyone remembers that Sony handycam ad which has this very clear and beautiful female voice singing a Korean/Chinese/Japanese minorities' song? Got hooked to it since the first time I heard it. Now whenever the ad comes on I'll put down whatever I'm doing and listen. The tune keeps playing in my head and I sing it in the bathroom. Don't know what the lyrics are about though. But it's just SO nice!

wishlist
Saturday, December 11, 2004 @ 07:35 p.m.

Here is my wishlist for Christmas, for anyone who's even thinking of getting me anything - mostly things that I can never bear to pay for yet I've always wanted:

1. Mozart: 5 Violin Concertos, by Itzhak Perlman (CD)
2. Great Violinists of the Bell Telephone Hour (1959-1964), by Yehudi Menuhin (DVD)
3. The Most Gigantic Lying Mouth of All Time, by Radiohead (DVD)
4. Good Bye, Lenin! (DVD)
5. The Godfather Trilogy (DVD)
6. The O.C. - The Complete First Season (DVD)
7. 三国演义 (DVD, 84 episodes)
8. The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy and Other Stories, by Tim Burton
9. The Book of Bunny Suicides, by Andy Riley
10. Baby Blues, by Jerry Scott & Rick Kirkman (any compilation of the comic strips)
11. Foundation trilogy, by Isaac Asimov
12. Thinking Physics: Understandable Practical Reality, by Lewis Carroll Epstein

congrats, JJ & HCAACO!
Thursday, December 9, 2004 @ 11:23 p.m.

Brought my laptop to Fujitsu service centre as its power kept getting cut off without warning and reason.

Then went to SCH to watch the NAC preliminaries for dizi (open) and ensemble (open). Jiajia was clearly the best with the most expressive rendition of 故乡的圆月 among the contestants. Although her 笛膜 burst at the climax, JJ managed to keep her cool and picked up another dizi to continue. She could have earned extra points for that instead of being penalised for stopping - she got into the finals, of course. Hwa Chong alumni also got into the finals despite the difficulties they faced (heard it from a few people), but they'll be facing a mighty opponent in the finals - the Ding Xiaoyan ruan ensemble. The group not only played excellent music, they're a pleasure to watch, their taifeng was unbeatable and they looked like they're enjoying themselves when they're playing (this was not observable in any other ensemble)! So, I'm keeping my fingers crossed...

Received a call from Fujitsu (only five hours after my visit) when the competition ended that told me my laptop was ready for collection. Rushed to Ngee Ann City to collect it before the place was closed. They've changed my motherboard and I didn't need to pay a single cent! They said I have a 3-year warranty covering all parts of the laptop (hee, I didn't even know). Excellent service. Solved my problem within five hours without a bit of hassle. Recommends Fujitsu for anyone who's intending to get a laptop.

congrats, JB!
Wednesday, December 8, 2004 @ 09:25 p.m.

Watched NAC solo preliminaries for zhongruan (intermediate) and dizi (senior), and it really reminds me of how Chinese instruments "cannot make it" - ALL (I repeat, ALL) the zhongruans were out of tune at the high registers - why do we Chinese indulge so much on aesthetics for our instruments and not research on how we can improve their sound? Why do we pay so much for ivory ornaments on our instrument when they don't really complement the quality of its sound? Why do we pay exorbitant prices for expensive wood when some of them have already been scientifically proven to be inferior for sound production? Why do liuqin strings break and rust so easily unlike violin strings which are almost the same in thickness but are much more durable? Really hope someone (or some group) can revolutionise the Chinese instruments. Erm, not me though, not qualified, heh.

There was a girl in the zhongruan intermediate category whom I found very amusing to watch, and I had to turn away from her when she was playing as I couldn't help sniggering if I watched. I think she was trying to emulate someone, but she failed - her knees were moving left-right at a regular tempo when she was playing slow and up-down when she was playing fast (she looked like she was thumping on the ground). On top of that, she wore a skirt with shiny bits so it was extremely distracting to see her knees move like that - a bit of movements could have been okay, but her knees were moving throughout the WHOLE song, so instead of showing taifeng and convincing us that she's immersed in her music, she convinced me quite the contrary, that she's more focussed in displaying her knee acrobatics instead of showcasing her music. She didn't get into the finals. Of course.

But WK didn't get in too! Hmm... I have to admit he didn't play as well as he usually does, but I was quite disappointed nevertheless. WK, if you're reading this: Don't be disheartened! You're still young - plenty of chances! :)

On a more cheerful note, Junbin got into the dizi senior finals! Three cheers for JB! Clap, clap, clap-clap-clap! I thought he did great today: the music flowed smoothly, no major flaws, and he appeared quite calm and confident to me. Hope he scores well in the finals too.

Had lunch with Yingyun, Jiajia and Junbin at Heeren Marche after the competition, then walked around Orchard in search for presents for myself and my friends. Finally got the Schindler's List soundtrack after 10 years - been hoping for someone to give it to me but nobody did, so I bought it for myself since I was in a Christmassy mood and there was a tiny Christmas discount at HMV.

congrats, YH & KK!
Tuesday, December 7, 2004 @ 12:14 a.m.

Yinghui's wedding dinner at Carlton. When Jiajia asked me for suggestions to liven up the evening, I gave her three:

1. Hire a stripper.
2. All BH members sing 细水长流.
3. All BH guys give Yinghui a kiss.

In the end, only suggestion #2 got through. *sighs of disappointment* I printed out the lyrics for everyone, and Junbin played the western flute, I played the violin, while Zhiqiang played the cello. With Xiangbin's lead vocals, we managed to garner quite a loud applause from the audience at the end of our short stunt (although the BH gals said I was out-of-tune *frown*). Yinghui said she was on the verge of tears when we're singing... Hope it wasn't because we sang too badly. ;)

walking on a silent night
Sunday, December 5, 2004 @ 11:43 p.m.

Playing guitar on a silent night has very electrifying effects. Not sure if I have felt this before, but when I was playing Andante by Coste just now, I really felt myself "dissolve" in the music... This must be what musicians always preach about "playing with your heart".

Andante. To be played at a walking pace. A very clueless title. Why is it that Western composers like to give such clueless titles to their pieces? Is it because they've composed too many pieces that they have run out of titles? Or they're simply too lazy to think of good titles? Or did they intentionally do so so that the musician/audience can have an open interpretation?

Went to BH to attend the flute recital presented by Jiajia and Junbin in the morning. They invited us to preview their pieces before the NAC competition a few days later. Quite admire their will to improve and their passion for their instrument. Especially JJ, whom I've known for more than ten years. She's really improved a lot in terms of technical skills and maturity in treatment of music. Reflecting back on myself, my liuqin and zhongruan skills seem to have peaked in my secondary school days and have since stagnated and deteriorated exponentially. The worse thing is, I don't even feel like trying to do anything about this.

flyboy
Sunday, December 5, 2004 @ 08:08 p.m.

Above is a page from the coloring book which I found. Nice, ya?

Supposed to go to a charity concert presented by Zhejiang handicaps but my friend was sick and I didn't want to go alone so I stayed at home to finish up the springcleaning of the rest of my side cupboards. Had three big bags of trash at the end of it, and cleared out enough space to put my liuqin and violin in. Now my room certainly looks neater, though I still can't squeeze my zhongruan and guitar inside.

Stage 1 of the grand springcleaning project completed.

mobius
Saturday, December 4, 2004 @ 07:56 p.m.

Thanks to Popular's sale, I got two albums which I've always wanted at only $8 each: Moby's Play and Eason Chan's Special Thanks To. Couldn't wait to pop Moby into my CD player the moment I reached home. It's amazing how he managed to fuse melancholy, an unlikely element, so seamlessly with electronica/dance/club.

springcleaning
Saturday, December 4, 2004 @ 01:40 p.m.

Just springcleaned half of the side cupboards of my room. Trashed those things which I didn't even know existed, cleared a dead cockroach which probably died years ago, and found a few sentimental items - like my one and only coloring book, and a photo which I secretly took and hid in a book when I was in primary school.

Having a headache now. Shall continue with the other half another day.

mole on the chin
Friday, December 3, 2004 @ 03:42 p.m.

End of ICT. Played Big 2 the whole day with Zhiyuan and Xiaopeng, in fact the three of us were so well-known to be playing cards all the time that we've been crowned the Dai Di Kings. Either I was very lucky or my skills have reached an invincible state, I won in all games today except for one or two. *smug look*

Earlier in the afternoon, I was also presented a badge by the CO for passing all physical and chemical proficiency tests. If I were a present NS guy, the badge would mean an increment of $200 every month... The present NS guys are really very fortunate. In my time, my monthly allowance was around $200-$300. Now theirs is around $500. With the additional $200, their allowance will be $700! And as mentioned earlier, they only serve for 2 years, work 5 days a week, receive better treatment, food and lodging, and are trained in non-strenuous chemical warfare instead of our garang cheong sua type... Unimaginably unfair. Hmph.

Anyway, at the presentation ceremony, the CO asked us whether we faced any problems or difficulties in the ICT. I was chuckling inside because Warrant Chin asked me whether I was unhappy with him just before the ceremony, probably afraid that I might say something to sabotage him, but I reassured him that I am okay.

Warrant Chin is a notorious old man who likes to make irritating "clever" remarks ever since we were serving our NS years ago. Many of us are already unhappy with him cos his remarks never fail to make us hurl vulgarities under our breaths. Just a few days ago, on the day of exercise, he tried to test my patience. He came to sit beside me when I was having my breakfast:

Warrant Chin: Hey, what are you working as now?

Me: Teacher.

WC: Oh, JC or poly? You know there are a few JC teachers around also, like Foo?

Me: I teach secondary.

Suddenly a look of contempt appeared on his face and his gigantic mole twitched like he's found a topic for ridicule.

WC: How MOE choose huh? By your qualification and results, right?

Me: No. We had a choice.

WC: Ya lar, MOE will choose based on your qualification, right? That means Foo has a higher qualification than you, right?

Me: No. WE had a choice. I get to choose whether I wanna go secondary or JC.

WC: Oh... so why not JC? JC higher pay, right?

Me: No. Same pay.

I finished my breakfast as quickly as possible and left. But that was not the end. In the afternoon, when we were closing down the exercise, he saw me throwing PLASTIC lima poles on the floor and made more comments. (By the way, in army, we don't gently put down equipment during exercise, throwing is the norm as it is faster and more shiok, as long as the items won't break.)

WC: Hey, Teacher!

Me: Sorry, Sir, I have a name.

WC: But I don't know your name.

I wanted to say, you can call me 'Sir' instead since I am a teacher, but I decided I shall not be mean to a menopausal old man.

Me: You can call me Tan.

WC: Okay, Tan, I think you are not very happy with the equipment, huh?

Me: Is it? I don't think so. That's the way we do things.

WC: But in my opinion you should put things down properly.

Me: (Laugh) Sorry, I don't agree with you then.

WC: Or are you unhappy with ME?

I didn't feel threatened at all as I knew I am now an NSman - a civilian - that is the highest rank in NS - he can't make me "sign extra" or charge me for sharing my opinion on an accusation, and I knew he was just trying to be funny cos he's bored and wanted to terrorise someone for entertainment.

Me: Unhappy? Of course not. Haven't I been very polite to you all the while? SIR?

Thinking I'd rather get back to work than talk to a pathetic old man, I walked away to continue with my work before he could answer. Was too tired at that time to entertain him further anyway.

The incident might have given him a few sleepless nights cos he's probably worried that I might write a letter of complaint or something. Letters of complaint are very powerful these days. But of course I am not such a petty person. When he asked whether I was okay with him just now before the ceremony, I patted his shoulder and laughed and told him, "I am okay! Don't worry!"

Think he won't dare to talk to me again in my future ICTs. I'd been really cocky, but I think WC deserved it. Heh.

change of command
Thursday, December 2, 2004 @ 10:29 p.m.

If not for the change-of-command parade and its rehearsals, we would have been able to play cards and lie on our beds for the past two days. Nevertheless, we played cards during almost every possible free/waiting time. Also got to know several new friends from Delta who lived in the same bunk as us - Noel, Gerald, Fuk Leong, Kok Pheng (aka Zai Zai of F4, a really funny guy who's not afraid of laughing at his own obesity)... and several others whom I know by their faces.

The parade only involved simple drills, but the bad part about it was that we had to be in beret and IPE. The chemical protective suit, thick and layered with activated charcoal, is not designed for prolonged standing under the sun, so it naturally made all of us look perfectly fine outside but sweat like hell inside.

The Commanding Officer who was stepping down also told us his rather suay story in his speech, about the unlucky incidents that happened when he was in-charge: a guy committed suicide, a bunk burnt down (and that revealed the fact that ALL fire hydrants in 39SCE were NOT WORKING), a five-tonner met with an accident, a landrover went missing, parents complained about the "inhumane" living conditions, one building was certified unsafe and all personnel had to be evacuated... Most people would boast about their achievements in their farewell speech but this man openly talked about these things that went wrong but were beyond his control. I thought that was quite humorous and cool. ;)

Oh ya, Taufik won the Singapore Idol. Phew. I was so worried that he might lose that I sent in TWO votes. Okay, that was quite stingy but I don't usually fall for such "commercial ploys". Was just too horrified by the possibility that Sly MIGHT win because of his huge following of rich teenage girls. Erks.