teachers' day | Tuesday, August 31 @ 03:14 p.m.
My first Teachers' Day as a teacher. It was kickboxing in the morning, I even changed into PE attire but didn't get into too much action as most of the kids didn't really cooperate so we were basically watching the trainer kickbox on the stage most of the time.

Then I went for my ABRSM Grade 2 violin exam at Edvox. The 3 exam pieces were fine, though I think I went slightly out of tune for some notes. The scale-playing was okay. The aural was okay too. The sightreading - think I played some wrong notes and left out a few staccatos and dynamics. But well! It's OVER! And I am quite confident that I'd passed.

Took a cab back to ESSS to attend the Teachers' Day concert put up by the students. I was late but I guess I didn't miss much. The kids had more fun than any of the previous celebrations I'd attended in this school - they screamed and sang together with the stage performers, made dedications to their teachers through the DJs ... very sweet. The best item for the concert in my opinion was a girl's Bring Me To Life - her voice was as powerful as Evanescence's even when there's a blasting combo band playing behind her. Coming close was a rap done by a group of Malay guys, and two of them danced hip-hop onstage - very impressive with all the somersaults and top-spinning stunts.

Okay, this paragraph is just for myself to keep track of who-gave-what cos I know I have a bad memory and I don't want to forget anyone's effort to get a present for me - Ira: scented incense (a rather exquisite gift - she gave Wendy a Love Generation glass apple, and Wendy was ecstatic over it); Li Ling: multi-purpose double-sided plastic box; Jane: Piano Hits for Rainy Nights CD (I think I'm going to love this one, Irene borrowed it so I haven't listened to it yet); Nazia: Fila water bottle (this will come in handy!); Xinyi: bathing salt in heart-shaped bottle; Pamela, Yanling, Jeanette, Chay Hwee, Sock Leng, Josephine, Yuen Sum: decorative mini-cup with a plush bear keychain in it; Meiting: handmade stress-relieving chair and a BIG homemade cheesecake with an Oreo top (so much effort...); Kenneth: Strepsils (I laughed); Anonymous: a whistle with neckstrap (I laughed again. Puzzled too...); Kenny: Merci chocolates; Dickson: milk shell-chocolates; Nur Rein: pen and card; Fatin: cookies; Costllan: pen; Sarah: a crayon drawing of Powerpuff girls (!!).

mystic river | Sunday, August 29 @ 01:43 a.m.
Just watched Mystic River. The brilliant story of murder and secrets, where a tragedy led to many other tragedies, was punctuated with the great ensemble cast of Sean Penn, Tim Robbins, Kevin Bacon, Marcia Gay Harden and Laura Linney. Who is to be blamed for all the sins? We are really just pawns of Fate... For anyone who wants a thought-provoking drama, watch this.

sighs | Friday, August 27 @ 08:23 p.m.
The week passed so quickly... Conducted SPA exam for Sec 3 sub-Physics - Irene was the setter but she sent in the wrong equipment requisition form, so the question papers that the students received did not correspond with the laboratory equipment that was prepared for them. She panicked and I ended up running around getting the correct question paper and photostated hundreds of copies at the last minute before the SPA exam could be carried out smoothly. The paper, however, was meant for Pure Physics and was far too difficult for the sub-Physics students but we had no choice at that last minute. Haven't started marking, but I can predict most of my students failing already...

Also conducted the Science common test and SPA for my Sec 2 students, both of which they did relatively well. Quite glad.

It is confirmed. I am going to miss my first Teachers' Day celebration as a teacher cos of my Grade 2 violin exam. Initially Michelle promised to speak to Mr Foo (boss of Edvox) to see if I can get a change of exam time, but I called him personally when Michelle didn't get back to me after so long, and he explained to me that the British exam board is very rigid and will not allow change of timing even if I had very valid reasons. Unless I get an MC. Hmm. Quite disappointed. Cos the celebration means a lot to me... it's a day when I can feel appreciated for the work I've done for my students. Sigh. Too bad. It's all destined. :(

Here's a nice website: Singing Horses

medulla | Monday, August 23 @ 11:05 p.m.
A week more to Bjork's new release!

>Hyperballad - Bjork<

We live on a mountain
Right at the top
There's a beautiful view
From the top of the mountain
Every morning I walk towards the edge
And throw little things off
Like: car-parts, bottles and cutlery
Or whatever I find lying around

It's become a habit
A way
To start the day

I go through all this
Before you wake up
So I can feel happier
To be safe up here with you

It's real early morning
No one is awake
I'm back at my cliff, still throwing things off
I listen to the sounds they make
On their way down
I follow with my eyes till they crash
Imagine what my body would sound like
Slamming against those rocks

And when it lands
Will my eyes be closed or open?

I go through all this
Before you wake up
So I can feel happier
To be safe up here with you

olympical | Sunday, August 22 @ 11:15 p.m.
Didn't specifically tune in to any Olympics event, but I enjoyed the gymnastics, swimming, diving, ping pong and tennis matches which I happened to chance upon. Somehow these games make sports so beautiful, unlike a certain game which involves lots of unpleasantries and a few coloured cards... Also joined in the nation's anxiety when Ronald Susilo and Li Jiawei came so near to winning the medals. I feel it is already an achievement for Singapore to have come so far when we're such a small country with so few resources - I believe we'll make it someday, soon. Hmm. When have I become so patriotic?

Spent the whole day setting the Sec 2 Science paper. And yes, I mean THE WHOLE DAY. Completely exhausted now. Head still aches from overuse. Hope I'll sleep well later, I need a good rest.

la valse d'amelie | Saturday, August 21 @ 07:59 p.m.
Fell in love with the soundtrack of Amelie again. Liked it when I first heard it in the movie last time, then recently Soo Leng choreographed a dance based on the first track J'y suis jamais alle, and she lent me the CD to duplicate so that I could lead the girls to practise when she's not around. Now my head is filled with the waltzy rhythm and the vivo dance steps: down-up-up-rest, down-up-up-rest, tap-back-tap-back-side-shift-up-down...

Did some filming with Azman and the AVA crew (Weihao, Shane, Hongning etc) after the SPA exam with 3E1. We were supposed to produce a series of short clips to show a few basic laboratory skills like titration and usage of the micrometer screw gauge. One of the scenes involved a negative demonstration where the whole class threw paper around and some played catching in the lab - this was the first time students could misbehave legitimately in the science lab so they naturally enjoyed it.

K700i | Wednesday, August 18 @ 08:57 p.m.
Spending spree. Bought a 256MB thumbdrive at $79, and also got myself a new phone - my fourth one after Philips Ozeo, Nokia 8310 and Nokia 7250i. It's a Sony Ericsson K700i, and it makes Nokia graphics look like child's play. The animated wallpapers are so nice! With an integrated camera (with several picture effects and zooming options), video recorder, sound recorder, music composer, MP3 player, organiser, radio, WAP and bluetooth (I don't really need this), it's really all that I ask for. Quite pleased. :)

class photos | Tuesday, August 17 @ 05:32 p.m.
Got the form class photos! And they're quite well-taken in my opinion. Everyone looked so fresh and handsome/pretty. (Click on the pictures to get a closer peek)

Here's the order in the first picture, for those who wish to match the names that keep appearing in my blog to their faces.

Top row: Zhengrui, Victor, Hasif, Say Chiak, Qaiyum, Kenny, Wenjie, Yanhao, Kailiang, Derek, Ho Ming, Firdaus, Kenneth
Middle row: Aisyah, Cheryl, Nazia, Jane, Xinyi, Weilin, Farah, Weisheng, Ernest, Saddiq, Nicholas, Zhihong, Weihao, Edmund, Hizam
Bottom row: Jialing, Sili, Fizah, Munirah, Ain, ME, Mr Goh, Ying Chiu, Ira, Shuting, Hongning, Lynn
(Li Ling and Dalinah were absent)

kind me | Tuesday, August 17 @ 09:09 a.m.
Remember I mentioned a student who wrote in rhymes? Another student Victor also started to write rhymes in his blog. Below is one which he wrote yesterday (slightly amended for grammar and appropriateness) - he's a prefect who always say I'm thick-skinned whenever I say that I am "kind". Please don't be mistaken and think I'm really thick-skinned, I only said that to create some laughter and destress the poor kids in the classroom. :)

Mr Tan is kind
He has a great mind
He always goes to hotel to dine
Cos he has a big goldmine
When he drives he doesn't look at the signs
So he always gets fines
He likes to drink wine
But he always drinks less than nine
I must say what is in my mind
He is really kind

P.S. Just realised there is no noun for the word proper.

birthday | Monday, August 16 @ 05:52 p.m.
My first birthday sms came from a student at midnight - not a student from my present school, but from Compassvale Sec, where I taught for only a few months a year ago, and the girl Debbie was from a Sec 4 Normal Tech class. She has graduated and is working now. Quite happy that she remembers my birthday - I think I only wrote it in her autograph book when I left the school last year.

June, not knowing my birthday, but knowing that I love chocolates, left a slice of very sinful chocolate cake on my table. So thoughtful, and such a coincidence.

Thanks to all who sent me smses since midnight. :)

fulfilling day | Saturday, August 14 @ 10:50 p.m.
Another busy day. Conducted a SPA practice session for 3E1 - was quite glad that the students were able to perform the rather tricky mass-balancing experiment on their own without much guidance. Immediately after the lab session, rushed off to a meeting regarding innovative timetabling. Went to the AVA room after that to prepare for contemporary dance, only to find that a group of outsiders were having a conference in the room (when I had booked the room first *growl*).

Went round looking for an alternative venue. Eventually found the stage of the hall to be vacant, so I wrote a notice to inform my dance troupe members about the change of venue and pasted it on the AVA room door, but while I waited at the hall, nobody came. Went back to AVA and realised that the notice that I'd wrote disappeared - somebody must have tore it down (may have been those people using the AVA room *growl growl*), so I had to be the live notice sitting outside the AVA room to direct my dancers to the hall.

Watched the dance while I marked the SPA scripts. Soo Leng choreographed a set of dance steps that were essentially the basic exercises for modern dance. Thought it was quite simple and nice, and the girls seemed to have enjoyed themselves even when they were soaked to the skin with sweat.

When dance ended, met up with Dalinah who requested for my help in her Math and Science. So spent an hour with her and her friend Mastura to clear their doubts. Also chatted with them and Aisyah, who came along after her Guides, about school and other stuff.

Had lunch with Irene at Tampines Mart, then went home, watch a bit of TV, and started work on setting of examination papers. Managed to set some challenging structured questions for Physics... Now resting... Shall leave the rest of the work to tomorrow!

inertia | Thursday, August 12 @ 05:53 p.m.
Feeling very lethargic these few days. Don't feel like doing anything... Dragged myself to the after-school lab session just now... was too lazy to elaborate teaching points during lessons... was even lazy to prepare worksheets and powerpoints... I know there're teachers who simply teach from textbooks and they don't have much to prepare before lessons - life will be so much easier this way, but I just can't bring myself to do it... Yet these few days I can feel myself not putting in my best during teaching, and I feel bad cos my students are on the losing end. The worst part of this is, I still simply don't feel like doing anything about the situation! Have been asking myself why... Is it because I have lost interest in teaching? (Is this the mythical "burn-out" that everyone is talking about?) Or has there been too much disappointments with my students as I still see no improvements in many of them and some don't even appreciate my effort? Sometimes I feel I'm more worried about their studies than they or their parents are. And now, I have this feeling of resignation, feeling of giving up... It's so, so, so tiring...

I wish this dreadful feeling of inertia will pass. Soon. (If it'll EVER pass.)

changes | Wednesday, August 11 @ 09:39 p.m.
Very heartened to see some students changing... Yh, who has been failing for the first half of the year, has gradually improved after I've been consistently nagged at him to study, and he's scored an A for the recent Science quiz. Also advised Vic to accept certain sad facts that he's facing instead of avoiding them, at first he didn't want to listen but now he's convinced and willing to look on the bright side. Just talked to Wj and Steph over msn about relationships, schoolwork, priority and stress from parents. Both Wj and I encouraged Steph and told her it's now up to her to take actions to help herself...

16 | Monday, August 9 @ 11:53 p.m.
16 of us had our own National Day cum Kelly+Jianyuan+my birthday celebration at Jiajia's house at Holland Drive. It's on the 25th storey and it has a panoramic view of the whole Holland V and beyond, with a giant swimming pool right below the building. Initially intended to watch the NDP fireworks from there but there weren't any fireworks this year somehow (or we missed it?)... Watched snippets of the uncensored Love Actually and Thunderpants while we helped ourselves with the pot luck of shepherd's pie, pizza, fried rice, fried noodles, salted vegetables (unintentionally salted), chicken stew, Taiwan sausages, gu lu pork, brownies, strawberries and ice-cream. Mi'er called us from Australia and we took turns to talk to her, Jing'an gave a full body massage for Yingyun, Youxia was zooming into the swimming pool downstairs with his videocam, Zewang tried to be part of every single photo as usual, Zhiqiang and Yingjie were busy in the kitchen, Xiangbin and his girlfriend were the guests of honour, Yingying was tired and slouching on the couch, Kelly and Jiaqi were watching TV and whispering some girls' secrets, Junbin was busy cleaning up the pseudo-parquet floor which Jiajia was so flustered about, Jianyuan was busy sms-ing and playing games on his handphone, Melvin played the piano when the birthday song was sung, and I commented on the green jigsaw puzzle that would look great in the washroom... It wasn't exactly a very exciting party, but rarely do so many of us get together... I wonder when will be the next time we gather like that again if some of us are not going to turn up at BH anymore...

Anyway, thanks all for the birthday present! :)

pastry & crickets | Sunday, August 8 @ 10:58 p.m.
「初恋的美丽在于我们从没想过它或许会有消逝的一天。」

Finished reading the book Jieying gave me - Zhang Xiaoxian's Magical Pastry Shop (Mo Fa Dan Gao Dian). Didn't think I'd finish it in a few hours cos I didn't like it at first as I've always thought that books that have large fonts with expanded spacing are a waste of paper and out to cheat readers with their apparent thickness. But I gradually became involved with the characters as I read on, when the 11 short stories became entwined and I had to draw out a map to show how the 23 men and women were interrelated with each other in their complicated love lives. The messy relationships served the message that the author was trying to convey very well - the irony of the instantaneity and eternity of modern romance - all the characters eventually ended up in confusion as they were not sure what they truly wanted in their relationships.

Learnt something new too. If you count the number of times a cricket chirps in 8 seconds and add 5 to that number, you'll get the Celsius temperature. If you count the number of times a cricket chirps in 15 seconds and add 40 to that number, you'll get the Fahrenheit temperature. Anyone has crickets at home to test this out?

dancing daggers | Saturday, August 7 @ 06:21 p.m.
Joined in the Contemporary Dance practice today when I got too bored. I should probably join in more often. :)

Went to watch House of Flying Daggers (Shi Mian Mai Fu) to kill time before guitar lesson. Very beautiful moves and sceneries, and the story was okay, but the ending was rather corny.

Finished reading Rich Dad, Poor Dad. The later half of the book was rather repetitive and self-righteous. Maybe I'm being defensive or conservative (like what the author Robert Kiyosaki claimed poor people are), the ideas he was trying to sell were simply too pushy and I felt he needn't insult those people who chose to be poor - not everyone's ambition is to become rich.

Jieying gave me an early birthday present as we won't be having guitar lesson next week. I was stunned and asked her how she knew my birthday. She said I mentioned it last year when a friend of hers celebrated her birthday near to mine. Quite touched that she remembered it after a year. Girls always pay attention to such details... I'll never have such good memory!

transfers | Friday, August 6 @ 11:09 p.m.
Went back to my form class after I conducted lab yesterday and found many students stayed back to decorate the class: Nazia was drawing Elvis Presley; Fizah, Ira and Ain were cutting and pasting colour strips on the noticeboards; Nicholas and Hizam were sitting around chatting; Farah was running errands for us, buying food and drinks... Like to listen to them talking, teasing and chasing after each other... Teenagers always have this youthful and innocent charm that radiates and freshens me up.

Today was National Day celebration. The Malay dancers were great, the drama was a little boring (cos the mics were lousy and I couldn't make out the muffled dialogues), and I sang along with the choir when the national songs were played. Was shocked when Wendy told me I'd have to lead the school to sing next year as she'd be transferred to another school next year. Wendy is one of the few teachers whom I really feel comfortable chatting with, and now she's leaving?! Joseph also just got transferred a week ago, and he was posted out immediately on the day he received the sudden notification - I only learnt about his transfer when he attended my grandma's wake. Why is everyone getting transferred out?!

rhymes | Wednesday, August 4 @ 06:07 p.m.
My student Say Chiak who's a rap fanatic just started a blog and he's writing his entries in rhymes. Thought it's quite fun/cool/innovative, so when I make comments on his blog, I also write in rhymes. Am getting a hang of it, and it's really fun. :)

expectations | Tuesday, August 3 @ 06:50 p.m.
Nothing much for the past few days. Watched Big Fish - it's good, but it felt like it wanted to say a few things but didn't really get to them eventually. Started reading the highly-acclaimed Rich Dad, Poor Dad today - my student Ho Ming lent it to me - it'd been quite a pleasant read and the scenarios presented in the early chapters were very close-to-heart. Am taking my time to read it slowly and I'm looking forward to be inspired by the time I finish reading the book.

My form class has finally shown some initiative in decorating the classroom. Besides having a retro theme for the noticeboard (stripes of contrasting colours), they even changed the seating arrangement to a rather innovative one (though there ARE some practical problems, I guess we can try this out for a while). Am keeping my fingers crossed that the final decor will be good and the class wins the Spruce Up Your Classroom competition.