blurred slhoutte's________________

Monday, July 4, 2005, 09:24 a.m.

+ 2 hours? +

mood:
music: Butterfly's Sleep - L'arc-en-ciel

Please rise from the dead on earth with my last kiss.
I don't care if the world is reduced to ash
I don't care if they scramble around grabbing at everything.
No matter what wish is made, only sadness comes of it.

Am here now in the client's side and I almost came in late. Not because I woke up late. I got up at 6:15 am, got dressed and was finished by 7 am. My time here in the client was 9 am and I really thought I have enough time.

when I got to the station where I can catch a ride to Makati, the freaking line is so long~!!!! Gah, I spend an hour waiting in line.

Note to self: Tomorrow, go to station at an earlier time.

In other news, I really dislike a guy who seems to full of himself and thinks we, women are just toys in their bidding. Well sorry to say, once you had tackled that path, I would not back down and beat the crap out of you. I am not a feminist but I know when I'm insulted.

There's a survey I answered in Livejournal

Three names you go by:
Jewel
Rien
Angst no Miko

Three screen names you have had:
rien
juworu
angstnomiko

Three physical things you like about yourself:
my light brown eyes (very unsual for an asia)
my bleached hair (i'm their beam)
my height

Three physical things you don't like about yourself:
my body.... am fat T-T
my legs
my nose

Three parts of your heritage:
Filipino
Spanish
Chinese

Three things that scare you:
Losing my my love ones and friends
Living with regrets
Dying with no one to miss you

Three of your everyday essentials:
Eating
Playing games (may it be in the PS or PC)
Sleeping

If we're talking about physical stuff:
Cellphone
Book
Wallet

Three of your favorite bands/musical artist:
L'arc-en-ciel
Dir en Grey
Utada Hikaru

Three of your favorite songs:
L'arc-en-ciel - Anata
Dir en Grey - Umbrella
Utada Hikaru - First Love

Three things you want in a relationship:
Communication
Compromise
Understanding

Three truths and lies in no particular order:
I was president of the Student Council back in college.
I can't do a website/html coding.
I finished a 100 page encoding in 3 days, with my normal work interferring.
I have a dozens of godchildren.
I am 18 years old.
My hair is naturally black.

Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeals to you:
Eyes
Height
Open-Mindedness

Three of your favorite hobbies:
Reading
Net Surfing/Blogging
Playing Computer Games

Three things you want to do really badly now:
Play Games
Finish Reading the book.
Sleep.

Three careers you're considering/you've considered:
Game Tester
Architect
Website Designer

Three places you want to go on vacation:
Puerto AGAIN~!!!!
Japan.
UK.

Three kid's name you like:
Giovanni
Lily
Alexandria
Three things you want to do before you die:
Meet ~~Yukihiro Awaji~~ L'arc-en-ciel~!!!!
Learn to Drive a car.
Be a game tester.

Three ways that you are stereotypically a boy/girl:
*looks at chest* does that count?
I am somewhat vain.
I like to argue with men about women.

Three celebrity crushes:
Johnny Depp
Awaji Yukihiro of L'arc-en-ciel
Kyo of Dir en Grey

In other related news, I'm in the middle of reading Robert's book, Neil Gaiman's Smoke and Mirrors. I was supposed to have it signed when Neil Gaiman went here in the philippines but I don't think I can have it signed because there's a pass you have to get before going to line and you have to purchase a book as well... *sighs*

Anyways, I really liked the book. It's a collection of stories and they really tickled my senses that I almost didn't sleep the other night from reading. One ofthe stories that I liked was the Chivalry. The sotry was about an old woman finding the Holy Grail in a store and purchsed it for decoration. Then a knight, Sir Galaad suddenly appears requesting for the Holy Grail. He then started to give her gifts in exhange.

There was this one poem that I liked, which entitled Nicholas Was. It gave me another perspective of what I believed to be the "jolly man in red, in christmas day".

When I finished this book, I would prolly borrow some more books from Robert... ^^

Saturday, July 2, 2005, 05:03 p.m.

+ sometimes i refuse to believe such things +

mood:
music: Marmalde Chainsaw - Dir en Grey

living true to yourself is a merit, there are no shortcomings.
One Twelve Two Eleven Three Ten Four Nine Death Thirteen
screaming out, I'll blow you away.
do you think me mad? is society glad?
Suck suck suck 'em all till the end mine death thirteen
wrists made a reality, throb, Ain't fuckin' around

I know it's bad to assume but I can probably conclude that most of the people in the workplace are not mature enough to talk about sex in public. And thus can be easily led to something for them to easily believed in, especially if they don't know what they're are talking about. I'm not saying that everything I've said are false, it's just that I didn't told the entire truth to teach ~~ill-mannered, stupid~~ people that they should be mature enough to handle the topic if they had at least brought it up. If you want to know are the truths, just figure it out for yourself, and maybe, you can understand.

Last night one of my officemate treated me and the other people to dinner and drinks. Yes, I drank two glasses of vodka and a mango juice (not spiked of course). Anyways, the one who treated the dinner, brought up the topic about sex by casually asking me about how gay sex works. Naturally, I would know, being a YAOI fanatic, I had researched and attended conventions that focuses on the genre.

Since it was brought up, all related to sex were asked by the people whom I really thought were mature enough to handle it. No, some of them even says that I'm "sex guru" and another said that I was said too much information. WTF? And they were asking if I had experience on the topic and I am so knowledgeable about it. WTF?????

For your FREAKING information: Being knowleadgeable about a topic, may it be sex or something under the sun doesn't necesarily mean that I have experience with those kinds of things. It's like saying that you know the syptoms of being a pregnant because you have experienced it and you're a guy commenting on that. X.x That's why there is an internet and if you really like the subject, search the internet.

Next time, I will not go out and have a drinking session with my officemates. I'll stick with my Cathy and Leslie with regards of talking about the 3-letter word. At least we learn from each other.

Speaking of which, we might be going out next week since Leslie had suggested that we do it a once-a-month thing.

Thursday, June 30, 2005, 09:30 a.m.

+ payday +

mood:
music: Au Revoir - Malice Mizer

Just a while more
I want to fall asleep holding you
Even if only in this time changed by gentle memories
I want to fall asleep with you in my arms
Like we were when we first met

Starting tomorrow, I would be going to our client's office because testing of their system will be performed there in Makati. So Makati peeps, kung may time, hang out tayo ^^

My father is obsessed with solving the rubix cube puzzle. He already destroyued the firt rubix cube and the one he's playing right now is bought by me when I was in the Divi. Maybe I should buy again because it's becoming loose and one of these days it would be destroyed as well. But i have to hand it to my father. He's good at it. He almost solved it once unfortunately, with 2 sides fixed, the other 4 sides have one block of another color each. And I can only solve one side... T-T

Another thing that he likes to do is playing chess with one of out neighbors. He's good at it too. I remember when I was kid, I would read with him the chess book that we have and attempt to beat him. No, I don't play that well.. X.x I prefer active sports though. Last night, the game lasted until 3 am in the morning because he fought 2 men. One of which is a Chess player in their company. Out of the 10 plays, 6 of them are won by him so if this was tournament, he already has the gold. ^^

And yesterday, I got home about 11 pm with fever, clogged nose and occassional coughing. I was supposed to drink Biogesic but we don't have one so I settled with Vitamin C instead and wrapping myself with my blanket. And yes, Robert is putting me in house arrest on the weekend, after I stop working on Saturday that is. Have finish the encoding... @.@

My sister asked me last night as she was playing if I'm going to work today. As much as I don't want to work and rest this sickness, we have something that we have to finish and I think a weekend-worth of rest will revive me, since the weekend is just around the corner. I'll try and finish Final Fantasy VII since after 2 tries years before, I dind't even finished half of it... T-T I was more of FFVIII fan back then so I didn't want to finish it. Also I want to finish Final Fantasy Tactics since I have to redo everything again. T-T

EDIT:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TRICKY~!!!!

Wednesday, June 29, 2005, 12:15 p.m.

+ me ish shick *cough* +

mood:
music: Heaven's Drive - L'arc-en-ciel

I'm madly in love with a bright
sunbeam.
everything is blown away
ride on heaven's drivel

Yesterday, got a fever again but I managed and finally brought it down before I got to go to work tomorrow. Unfortunatey, my throat is aching and I have the cold. *sniff... achoo.. cough* Add to the mixture is my headache and my almost fall down n steps in te freaking overpass a while ago. I swear I hate goind down stairs. I can still remember what happened when I was in my first year highschool. *shiver*

Anyways, here are some pictures courtesy of Hazel. Thanks Bading~!!!! Here are some excerpts:

Minami, Hazel and Me

Me and my ~~Birdie~~ Dragon Staff. Thanks Koi~!!! ^^

Me and Tanix selling in the Guild Booth

Me, Hazel, and Daryl (Dancer)

I will be cosplaying the costume again since I want to finish some of the parts of it especially the gloves and the boots. Gah~! I got bruise because of the boots. Need to fix it. Also, the brooch that I made was not good enough so I have to re-do it as well. I wonder if the rumours of the September cosplay will push through and woudl it be RO or ROSE. I have a different plans for ROSE... and RF as well.. .T-T

Also, Marga is trying to cinvince me a while ago to cosplay Virgil of DMC 3 and Robert will cosplay Dante *sweatdrop* Good thing I didn't agreed to it. So it leaves me and her trying to cosplay Freya and Chii of Chobits. I wish my hair grows faster so that I can cosplay using my OWN bleached hair. x.x

Tuesday, June 28, 2005, 09:42 a.m.

+ costume cramming +

mood:
music: Upper Flower - Pierrot

It started last Saturday, when I woke up at around 7 am to finish painting the staff, boots and the brooch. I finished in record time, also I cooked lunch as well. Although my left hand is full of paint until now. T-T

And then the tailor texted me that costume wil be done prolly at 9 pm so I decided to hang around in the house before i go to the tailor shop. At 8:30 pm I was gone with my cosplay and overnight stuff, and went to the tailor. Unfortunately, my costume is not yet done.

So I waited for the costume to be done, fitted it and then they re-do some of the stitches to make it fit me. It was finished by 3 am the following day. While I was walking towards shaw, a random guy saw me and asked if I needed help. I said "no" politely and walked away. Yeah, I don't trust people that easilly. >.<

I felt so bad because the original plan was for me to sleep over at Minami's place so that I can go the cosplay event as early as them. Since my costume finished at 3 am, I arrived at the Buendia MRT station at about 4:00 am. And then since there are notthat much jeep, I decided to walk to Tordesillas. I reached Mini Stop at 4:30 am and texted them that I will be staying there until maybe 7 am since I don't want them to be woken up.

I got food and ate, and then after 30 minutes, I slept for an hour. I woke up and then some of the attndants are nice to me and had a decent conversation. Until I saw Kuya Paul fetching me. I was surprised. He helped me with my stuff and we went to Ate Minami's condo where they are already awake.

I took a bath and fixed my hair. Note to self: Not to cosplay characters with costumes that will not show mt tan. I played with Akira while Tanix (Akira's mother) is fixing her costume. Afterwhich I helped with the keychains that we were selling. So only with an hour's worth of sleep we went to the World Trade Center.

I changed into my costume with the help of Tanix and Minami. THANKS SO MUCH GUYS~!!!! And I waited for Hazel for the make-up. XD Here are some pictures of me in the costume:

Me, Minami, Kero, Akira and Tanix, with the dead Orc Lord on the side in the Guild Booth.

Me with the Keychain made by Robert.... which looks like me *laughs*

Hazel and Me going to climb the wall climbing

Me and Tanix trying out the Poring Sumo

Akira won the Super Novice Award while Kero won the Best Monster. Out Guild Booth won 3rd place as well~!!! Wohoo~!!!!

After that event, we went to Minami's condo. I think I slept there for a while because I was dead tired and I would be going home with Tanix. We woke up about 3 am, got home about 4 am. I slept and woke up at 8 am with a fever. I asked my father to heat the water up so that I can take a bath and maybe my fever will go down. Unfortunately, I slept again and my teeth are chattering. So I decided to not go to work and texted my boss. I slept for 22 hours, waking up just to drink medicine.

Oh yeah here's some pictures of the event as well. I'll be posting more. ^^

Friday, June 24, 2005, 01:21 p.m.

+ today is the day +

mood:
music: Round and Round 2005 feat. 青木 - P'unk-en-ciel

Today is the day when Robert leaves the country. He will be back by end of July. I'm not going to lie and say that I don't miss him. His flight was 9 am this morning and I miss him already. From the time we parted last night until I woke up this morning. I woke up from the sound of cellphone informing me of a text message, and yes it was from him. "One month lang ito" had became my mantra and tried to busy myself with cosplay and projects in the office.

As for my costume, I would fit it tonight and my staff is almost done. I haven't placed the yellow part of my boots but I did try it on and it's a good fit. I would prolly do the brooch tomorrow morning. I will be sleeping in Minami's place tomorrow night and prolly get my costume.

Last night, I had a hard time fixing the yellow part of my boots because I came home with no electricity and I only have the lamp that I used for a cosplay before (see picture). I miss that costume and it still is hanging in my closet. The sword is with the other cosplay material and the lamp is being used everytime there is blackout. Unfortunately, I'm the only who knows how to use the lamp *sweatdrop*

So back to making the boots, it was so hard to see if I put Greco on the right places, and as a result, some parts of my hands and fingers have greco on them. I was using rubber sheets you see, and the only way to stick 2 rubber sheets together was either greco or mighty bond. Greco is much cheaper and affordable than mighty bond and it has stronger bond. The side effects of the Greco is that when you use it with the rubber sheets, there are fumes eminating from the surface which can make one person high. So imagine me, high on greco and I used rugby that night as well and spray paint for the staff. @.@

Anyways, I decided to call it a night when I started to yawn and always stinging my fingers with greco. (and also I almost glued two of my fingers --;) I went to my room, shut the lamp and slept. At 4 am, I saw that there is electricity already and I felt hot so I turned on the fan, but the fan was stubborn and it didn't rotate~!!!! GAH~!!! So I glared at it, took the screwdriver out and fixed the fan. After a few tries and minutes, it worked and I went back to sleep.

And then I woke up late. T-T

Thursday, June 23, 2005, 03:58 p.m.

+ random moment +

mood:
music: The Domestic Fucker Family - Dir en Grey

Aha~!!! I finally finished the 13th stage of Zuma and it left me very fulfilled. It's been almost a year when I started playing the strategy game but I can't seem to finish the 13th stage because of the last 2 and hidden stage. They are difficult as in D-I-F-F-I-C-U-L-T... but I successfully finished the game just now. Maybe it's the burst of inspiration or boredom or maybe, it's the last day I would be able to see Robert before his flight tomorrow *cries*

*wipes tears* Anyways, just noticed that everyone that I know of that has the same birthday as me are somewhat connected. Hey, me and Leslie have the same second name which ~~I absolutely hate but I can live with it~~ is Melissa. And me and Kuya Paul look a like, like we are siblings. Also, Leslie and Kuya Paul have the same last name, how freaky is that? o.o Maybe I should bring Kuya Paul in a gathering and ask my relatives if we do really look alike.

In somewhat not related news, I have a couple of friends who have FB's (if you don't know what FB is just ask me *snicker*) but I am not really bothered by it. Why? Because it's their life and I am not opposed to people who have casual sex with someone just because they like. Also, I'm more concerned if they sleep around but they have a significant other already, how's that for aldultery?

Thursday, June 23, 2005, 12:07 p.m.

+ yellow painted hands +

mood:
music: 闇に降る軌跡 (yami ni furu kiseki) - D'espairsRay

Costume Update: Tomorrow is my fitting day for the costume. I'm so excited. As for the boots, I didn't touch them last night and I focused on painting the staff. Gah, nakaka-high talaga ang sparay paint~!!! I finished painting the staff yellow and maybe later I'll be focusing on the details. As the result of spray-painting, now some parts of my hands are yellow. x.x

In other news, I'm so relieved that for the 4 days of commuting, the jeppney and fx fare in our area has not yet increased. As much as I don't want to have the fare increased over and over again, I guess it can't be helped especially the economy is falling down and people tend to do more riots and stupid proclamations that makes the economy fall down more.

Haven't people noticed that the president is trying her best to have the economy rise up, unfortunately, the issues come out, speculations formed and riots started. Haven't they noticed that when these so called issues started, the economy who is starting to recover suddenly fell again in the pits of poverty.

That's enough rant I guess.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005, 09:54 a.m.

+ early bird +

mood:
music: Larva - Fake?

Costume Update: Finally finishing putting the brown part, tonight, I might be able to start the yellow part of the boots and then I will be finish. I'm definitely high this week.

Also, Robert finished my staff.... XD THANKS KOI~!!!!! *kiss* He will be giving me the staff later so I will be going home with it. The only thing I'm worried about it is that when I go home. I've borrowed some black, yellow and gold paint for it.

This is the first time I believe in the month that I've become early. I purposely went to earlier than usual because later I have an OT because I have to test a system. I want to go home early to finish the boots and start painting the staff.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005, 06:52 p.m.

+ phew +

mood:
music: Parody - Utada Hikaru

Somewhat finished the testing that I am doing for a system in the office. And then off for another round of testing.....

Tomorrow, I will be here in the office later than usual because 2 seperate systems are needed to be tested. T-T So I must finish the boots tonight so that I will not worry about it tomorrow. I'm going to be worried about the 2 brooch that I need to do. T-T

Someone asked me why do I cosplay, and I answered, because it has become my hobby. True, it's nice to have friendly competition with your friends (and your BF) but meeting people who have the same hobby as you is also fun, considering before there aren't that many cosplayers yet.

I was in the cosplay scene since it started. Thanks to my cousin, I became a volunteer at the First Cosplay Convention here in the Philippines (Anime Xplosion 2000). But the first time I entered a cosplay competiton was only late last year, in the U Got Game? convention. It was fun and it was the first time I competed. Sure, I had hopes that I would win but even if I didn't win, it was a fun experience for me, meeting people who liked the costume I choose.

Oh yeah, I cosplayed, rather CROSSplayed Dante of Devil may Cry 2. I was in love with Dante when I played the game that I decided to start cosplaying and cosplay him. I guess I have this thing about white-haired sword slashing, and gun shooting demons, with piercing eyes and mysterious aura.

So in the end, I would answer as to why I cosplay is because I love it, it's fun and it's very fullfilling if you want to dress up as the characters you want that is. I wish other cosplayers see it like that as well.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005, 12:37 p.m.

+ attack of laziness +

mood:
music: 午後のささやき(Gogo no Sasayaki) - Malice Mizer

Cosplay Update: I have become lazy, and thus didn't finish the brown part of the boots. I will finish it tonight, I promise... so that I can work out the gold part.... T-T And then brooch.... X.x

=0=

Have you ever experienced being in a crowded room and yet you are alone? I have been there several times, hey, I think I am always there. It seems that everywhere I go, I am not always welcomed and there's no one that I can relate with. True, there are some people that tries to befriend me and there's other people who succeeds but I that is a rare occassion.

Or maybe I'm just being depressed again. Dalawang araw na lang..

In other news, I still am baffled by my friends who wants to have bigger chest like mine. It's not that I mind their teasing and asking for donations but I always tell them that they are lucky to have small breasts. IMHO, I don't like my breasts this big. Here are the reasons:

- I like to jump, run and perform sports, unfortunately, since I have no training in playing my favorite sport (basketball and kickball) I can't seem to run as fast as before. Running is not the usual kind of activity I perform especially when I'm just kidding around. people (men in majority) oogle at the way my chest moves when I ran, that's why when I play, I resort in bandaging it. I can run much better without being that conscious about it.
- My back gets strained once in a while, especially when I tend to straighten my back. The weight on my chest are heavy and thus makes my poisture bad. X.x
- I have difficulty in finding a bra in this freaking country. Yes, it's not usual for women to be in my size.
- And yes, the very thing I don't like with having this is when I tend to talk to some guy, they tend to look at my breasts rather than my face. Next time I would catch a man doing that to me, I would say "Look up you idiot or I'll kick your balls, if you have one that is" *snicker* Sorry, I'm bad :P

Monday, June 20, 2005, 12:00 p.m.

+ high on rugby and vodka +

mood:
music: 15 1/2 - Tetsu69

Costume Update: Wahaha, I've successfully finished wrapping my used boots with the white cloth and I have extra white cloth if I made a mistake. Wrapping with the brown cloth is a little tricky but I think I can manage. Already half way of the one boot. I think I can finish it by tonight when I get home. The realy problem that I'm facing it the gold top of the boots that up to know I can't figure out how to do it. And also, the rugby is something getting to me, the fumes is still as strong as ever. @.@

Although the question still remains if I need to bleach my hair for the cosplay. The black roots is already showing, but my cosplay friends said that the fading looks of my hair is really eye-catching and cool. To bleach or not to bleach?

My friend arnold is cosplaying one of the characters in World of Warcraft and I'm really tempted to cosplay the Night Elf, but my BF doesn't approve of the costume. It's not because it's not good enough but because it's too SKIMPY for me to do. But I really love the costume and the armour of the elf, unfortunately, it only covers the essential parts of the body. BUT.... if ever I would be cosplaying the elf, I would be in serious diet a year before I cosplay such a costume.

Or maybe I sould do Guild Wars instead? *thinks*

=0=

Me, Leslie and Cathy went to the Desperate Housewives party by Studio 23 last Friday. We haven't hang out with each other since last year and they were somewhat complaining in a joking manner that I have a BF now that's why I don't hang out around with them anymore.

Anyways, got a free t-shirt and have seen models ramp the platform, cheering at the really cute men in their underwear and shouting "TAKE IT OFF". I think it's because of the VODKA that we were drinking. Hey, it's open bar, and I love vodka *snicker*. The men models are hotter that women models, maybe it's because thin models are not appealing to me and add to the fact that they are not that beautiful.

Afterwhich, we had decided to eat dinner and hang out in Starbucks, discussing ~~sex,~~ lives and problems we had. Cathy commented that if we have another woman with us, we can be the characters in Sex and The City.

Friday, June 17, 2005, 02:23 p.m.

+ blah +

mood:
music: Haruka - Pierrot

Today I brought my electric guitar in the office, not because I'm going to play it, but a friend of mine is going to borrow it until she gets money to buy her own guitar. I'll miss it thought. Haven't finished ~~trying~~ playing of Psychedelic Lover and MAD SKY ~koutetsu no messiah~, both by the J-rock band Pierrot.

Later, I would be going to Rockwell to attend a party with free drinks and admittance. Unfortunately, I can not attend the performance of a cosplay friend of mind since his performance is in Eastwood and it would be up to 9 pm only.

Last night I watched Azumi II: Death or Love with my father and I was really surprised that there really is a sequel from the first movie that we watched. And what's more surprising is that Chiaki Kuriyama is there as well as another villain. I'm not really susrprised that she was a villian. It suits her being psychotic and being evil at the same time *laughs* Although I like her as a villian in Kill Bill but I don't like the movie.

Anyways, it was nice watching a japanese movie again and I must remember to get a copy of Kagen no tsuki and Battle Royale. Yes, Chiaki is also there in those movies. Actually I want to see Kagen no Tsuki since Hyde of L'arc-en-ciel is there. I want to see if his acting skills have improved since Moon Child with Gackt.

Speaking of Gackt, I have an officemate who's a fan of him and I am somewhat happy since I have someone who knows what I'm talking about, or someone to talk to but I haven't talked to her about it. Must be because all the trainees are cooped up in the training room and I'm too busy with work. @.@

Cosplay update: I'm halfway in covering my used boots with white cloth. After covering it, I would prolly do the trimmings and if I do it like what I imagine it then it would be piece of cake. I plan to finish the boots by sunday so that I woul have enough time to fix the brooch and try to squeeze enough time to cross stitch and finish the game that I've been playing in the past few days.

I wonder who won in the NBA today ^o^ GO SAN ANTONIO~!!!!!

Thursday, June 16, 2005, 09:24 p.m.

+ a weeklong of post +

mood:
music: Time has Come - Luna Sea

I've been very busy lately so I didn't have time to update my journal. Add to the fact that I feel that's it's too... revealing when I have my journal in a public website. Or maybe I'm just used to have my journal in LJ that I know by fact that the only one who read them are my friends.

I have to squeeze time between working, commuting to and from work, playing PS, trying to finish a cross stitch in 3 months time and trying to rest. Of course, I also try to squeeze all the time I have for Robert. *sobs* One week na lang... I want to spend much time as possible before he leaves for the US. *cries some more*

So, I'm still in the office, finishing some more work. My costume for RPC is now on it's way and I might be able to get it either on friday or saturday. Actually, I have to finish the boots by sunday so that I dont have anything to rush about. But I have this feeling that I won't be getting the enough sleep the day before the cosplay. I'm really excited with my upcoming costume. It was the reason why I ~~try to~~ diet in the first place.

I have so many plans for future cosplay but I don't think I would be able to do them all. After this cosplay me and Robert have plans for another costume. Secret na muna kung ano yun :P

Friday, June 10, 2005, 01:20 p.m.

+ brainstorming +

mood:
music: silent melody - Lucifer

edit: Rem good work on your journal XD sorry kung crappy yung layout na nagawa ko XD 15 minutes of layout XD next time gawa ako ulit nang mas maganda :P :P :P at para sumaya ka ^^

Since I still have enough time before I go back to testing some modules, I have decided to just post something here.

Tomorrow will be the Company Outing and I would be going but I don't think I would be staying that long because of the fact that I might not be able to swim because I don't have someone to go swimming with. But I would be going with my swimsuit in tow just in case I be able to swim even for a few hours.

Then when I was browsing FC I decided to have my fanfiction archive be brought up. It would still be entitled Red Snow like before but I would remove the mp3 rotation site, mainly becuase I can not upload things here in the office.

And for those of you why I had entitled that site Red Snow, here's the poem I made before:

Red Snow

Walking in the white, pure snow,
Following the footprints you left behind.
Tears that was frozen,
as the wind carressed my face.

I tried to follow you,
even with the darkness surrounding me,
even with the wind forcing me to fall,
even with my heart, turning to ashes.

My knees buckled, eyes blinded,
hope disappeared, faith shattered,
but I'm still here,
trying to follow you...

And yet, as it was all in the beginning,
I failed...

I failed to follow the prints that you left,
the trail that was my only hope,
and slowly, the prints disappeared.
Red stained the pureness,
the whiteness of the snow,
and darkness captured my soul.

I think I've written this before because I was heartbroken. XD

Thursday, June 9, 2005, 07:20 p.m.

+ trying to be cool +

mood:
music: love dragoon - Penicillin

Aside from the fact the system that we are testing is causing me so much delay, I'm starting to have this head ache that if this keep persisting, I might loose my temper and restart the PC. *heaves* Ok, I can wait for this..... >.<

It's not like it's the only thing that's making my head steamy. Have you ever encountered a person that asked for your help in which you graciously given the desired help because he/she had already gained your trust, and then you will find out that everything wasa lie and he/she just thrown away that trust as if it were a rug?

About the throwing of trust part, I had encountered 2 people like that. It's hard for a person to gain my trust and when a person already gained it and throw it away, it would be hard for me to trust that person again.

My quote for the day: "A player in a sweet facade."

Great my head is really aching again.

Tuesday, June 7, 2005, 11:33 a.m.

+ i'm screwed +

mood:
music: Runaway Runaway - GLAY

I didn't sleep the whole night. Blame it to Castlevania and my sister cajoling me to finish the freaking game. Actually I didn't finish the game but it was laughable when I saw the inverted castle. The freaking CASTLE is really inverted. My thumbs are aching from jumping up ang down the ledges.

Add that to the fact that I am working right now and I am hungry. Although I have packed lunch for the day ~~that spilled on my paper bag that I have to throw it away~~. *sughs* I don't think this is my day.

Monday, June 6, 2005, 07:34 p.m.

+ ... +

mood:
music: Kimi Ga Oikakete Yume - Gackt

... I miss you ... *cries*

I wonder why am I being to emotional after my cycle? *cries some more*

Monday, June 6, 2005, 11:17 a.m.

+ Revisiting Castlevania +

mood:
music: Predilection - Nittle Grasper (Gravitation OST)

For the whole day of Sunday, me and my father alternately used the TV for different reasons. Him to watch basketball and for me to play Castlevania: Symphony of the Night I was supposed to plat Final Fantasy Tactics but due to the missing case of the said video game, I had resigned to play Castlevania instead.

Anyway, about the game, I remember me and Terachi Hikaru wanted to cosplay on of the characters there, I forgot which character I wanted and I might not cosplay the game anymore. True, Alucard there is so yummy and so bishie... Yas, I have a fetish for vampiric, white-haired, bishounen men, so sue me. :P

I have not yet finished the blasted game, and I might resort in getting a walkthrough. The damn map is really making my head ache with the secret passages and trying to jump from one ledge to another, not that I have problems with that.

In other news, me and Majordomo have deicded to start with our diets and I would really try very hard to diet. I want to look good on the RPC cosplay. ~.~'

Saturday, June 4, 2005, 07:45 p.m.

+ WET! +

I am now wet.. Actually me, Majordomo and Godess are all wet because the rain caught us while we were in Divi. We went there because we have to shop for things for RPC. So now I'm in Godess condo and we are drying off and waiting for Robert to get here. We also have to fix some things for the event as well.

And having 5 hours of sleep is not realy helping my system.

Friday, June 3, 2005, 03:13 p.m.

+ Forgetful me +

I forgotten our monthsary ~~again~~ which was yesterday. Only consolation is that my BF also forgotten... and he bought me a sundae ^^. Here I was waiting for him and another friend in foodcourt and then I was counting the days before the RPC Cosplay comes. And then out of the blue I felt that that day was an important day for me and I kept thinking what was the reason. Then it hit me.. --; It was our 6th monthsary.

And then I'm excited at the next cosplay this month that starting next week, I will try to diet. I want to look good in the High Wizard costume. Oh great. I need 2 more cloths for my costume and I have to have the boots made as well. --; Gastos na naman

After that, I might stop to cosplay for a while because ma Majordomo will prolly doing some aikido. Either that or play basketball again. ^^

Friday, June 3, 2005, 02:11 p.m.

+ ahah +

Finally solved the problem of the TagBoard but I think if there is still a problem, but the problem is already on the script that I got. Maybe I'll fix it later or change the tagboard after some time.

In the meantime...

I am trying to help Majordomo in editing Cosprattle and I am constantly waiting for the testing to begin. It should start right now~!!!!

Oh yeah... for those people who are in the Philippines.. Maybe you're interested in having a job in Ortigas. Our company is hiring people:

CyberJ Resources Inc. and 77Global Resources Corp urgently need the following positions. If you know somone who are qualified and might be interested in applying, kindly forward this email. Successful referrals entitle you cash benefits.

DEVELOPMENT HEAD

� Project management experience of at least 5 years; preferably Java.
� Experience in C, C++ and other Object Oriented languages.
� Experience in CMM/CMMI.
� Must have experience in handling Software Development Process.
� Strong organizational and people management skills.
� Strong verbal and written communication, and presentation skills.

INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY MANAGER

� With experience in Project Management and Network Infrastructure.
� Cisco Certified Network Professional (CCNP).
� Strong organizational and people management skills.
� Business-oriented, strategic mindset.
� Strong verbal and written communication skills.

PROJECT MANAGERS

� With at least 3-5 years Java Project Management experience.
� With experience in C, C++ and other Object Oriented languages.
� Strong organizational and people management skills.
� Strong verbal and written communication, and presentation skills.

UNIX DEVELOPERS

� Must have 2-3 years experience in Unix Shell Scripting.
� With 2-3 years experience in using advance SQL commands.
� With 1-2 years experience in Java Development.
� Must have experience on a Technical Support Environment.

JAVA DEVELOPERS

� Must have at least 2 years actual project experience using Java.
� Ability to design, develop, and test reasonably- complex server-side applications using Java, J2EE, XML, EJB, Struts and JSP/Servlets.
� Must be knowledgeable in HTML, UML, and OOAD.

.NET PROGRAMMERS

� With 1-2 years .NET Framework experience.
� With 4-5 years Visual Studio/VB6 or VB5 experience.
� With 3-4 years MS SQL Server Programming [TSQL] experience.
� With experience in COM, ActiveX, ASP, Win32 Programming in VB.
� Experienced in Database Design; Knowledge of UML.
� Advance understanding of OOAD (Object Oriented Analysis and Design).
� Knowledgeable in design patterns (GoF patterns).
� MCP on Solution Architectures is a plus. MCP on VB will be a plus.
� Project management experience in a technical capacity.

MAINFRAME PROGRAMMERS

� Graduates of BS Computer Science, Computer Engineering, Math or any related course from top universities and colleges.
� Must have at least 5 years senior level experience in using DB2, CICS, COBOL, JCL. Java know how is a plus.
� Can independently perform software coding, testing, debugging, documentation, and installation tasks for on-line and batch processes in accordance with clients best practices and specific internal procedures and standards in all phases of major system and subsystem development, implementation, and post-implementation processes.
� Must be resourceful, flexible, fast learner and possesses excellent communication skills.
� For Team Lead post, candidate must be able to guide, assist or mentor the other members of the team.

LOTUS NOTES DEVELOPERS

� Must have at least 3 years experience in Lotus Notes/Domino development.
� Must have experience in programming using Java.

C++/JAVA PROGRAMMERS

� With at least 4 years programming experience with the following skill set: C++ (MFC, Win32 SDK, COM/COM+, ATL (Active Template Library) / JAVA (Core J2SE, Entry level J2EE, JSP/Servlets, EJB, JDBC).

LINUX DEVELOPERS

� Linux developer with php, mysql, cgi (perl) scripting.
� The candidate must be able to create database model and tables, write dynamic html pages reading information to and from a back end database.
� Website design is a plus but not critical. Preferably someone who had internet development experience.

SOFTWARE CONFIGURATION MANAGEMENT ENGINEERS

� With 2-3 years experience in systems integration environments.
� With 2-3 years application development management experience (design, development, and testing).
� At least 1 year use of UNIX or Windows based version control software.
� Understanding of configuration management principles and software quality.
� Knowledgeable with Unix SCM and migration tools.
� Familiarity with Unix and Windows environments.
� Familiarity with Java compiling and packaging for a web environment.

WEBSPHERE ADMINISTRATORS

� With at least 2 years experience in IBM WebSphere Application Server.
� With solid experience in Java programming (J2EE).
� Exposure with Unix Administration is an advantage.
� With very good problem solving skills.
� Able to handle pressure from clients and business partners.
� Vocal and assertive, and requires minimal supervision.

UNIX SYSTEM ADMINISTRATORS

� Certifications in Solaris, AIX, or HP-UX would be a plus.
� Candidate must have an in-depth understanding of Solaris and/or AIX which includes but is not limited to:
� The basic installation process along with Jumpstart and NIM respectively
� Disk management using Veritas VolMgr and LVM respectively
� Standard patch management processes
� Package management via installp or the package utilities
� K-shell and perl programming and which and understanding of SED and AWK
� UNIX security (system, user, file level) which should include an understanding of NIS+
� Veritas� Netbackup for data protection.
� MKSYSB, SYSBACK, and FlashArchive for OS level protection
� Basic performance and tuning commands
� SSH and key management; Microsoft Office Suite of products

ORACLE DATABASE ADMINISTRATORS � Graduates of BS Computer Science, Computer Engineering, Math or any related course.
� With at least 5 years solid hands-on Production DBA experience in Oracle in an all around UNIX environment. Solid experience in UNIX and NT operating systems a must. � Knowledge of Oracle 8i and 9i on SUN Solaris (version 2.6, 2.7, 2.8), AIX (version 4.3x & 5.1) and NT (4.0 & 2000).
� Strong knowledge of shell programming (ksh, perl). Must be able to write generic scripts to support databases across different versions of Oracle & O/S platforms
� Must be familiar with Explain Plans, Oracle�s Backup & Restore Utilities, Oracle Software Migration Utilities and SQL Loader, OEM, Oracle Discoverer.
� Must be able to install base Oracle binaries, patches with hands-on experience with upgrades. Able to install Oracle Discoverer, Oracle�s 9i Application Server.
� Knowledge of one or more UNIX-based DBMS software systems (Sybase), UDB a plus.

SYBASE DATABASE ADMINISTRATORS

� With at least 5 years solid hands-on Production DBA experience in Sybase in an all around UNIX and NT environments. Solid experience in UNIX and NT operating systems a must.
� Strong knowledge of shell programming (csh, ksh, perl).
� Must be familiar with Show Plan execution and analysis, Sybase DBCC Utility, BCP, SPSYSMON, Monitor Server and replication server utilities.
� Must be able to install base Sybase binaries, patches with hands-on experience with in-place upgrades. Able to install Sybase Replication Server and implement Sybase Auditing.
� Knowledge of one or more UNIX-based DBMS software systems (Oracle), UDB a plus.

LOTUS NOTES DOMINO ADMINISTRATORS

� Solid experience of Lotus Notes, Lotus Domino system administration on midrange servers Unix and Windows.
� Similar experience with Domino.Doc and/or Sametime are an asset.
� Unix system administration and Windows system administration would be an asset.
� Professional experience of maintaining the performance of these systems is needed.

PROGRAMMER TRAINEES � Graduates of BS Computer Science, Computer Engineering, Math or any related course from top universities and colleges in the Philippines belonging to the top 10% of their class
� Detail-oriented and self-motivated
� Must be resourceful, flexible, fast learner and possess good communication skills.

RECRUITMENT SPECIALISTS

� Graduates of BS Psychology, HR Business or any related field.
� Minimum of 4 years experience in recruitment, preferably gained from an IT firm, or any technology driven companies.
� Highly motivated and with excellent communication skills, both oral and written.
� Can work with minimum supervision. Computer literate.

ACCOUNTANTS

� Graduate of BS Accountancy. Must be CPA.
� Must have at least 1 year of working experience in Audit (external) or at least 3 years working experience in general accounting, particularly in accounts payable department. Must have experience in using Quickbooks.
� Analytical and must be computer literate.

MEDIUM LEVEL SUPPORT ANALYST

� Medium level - 3 to 5 years work experience
� Unix background
� Perl and Shell Scripting experience
� Sybase, Excel, VB/VBA
� Problem solving skills
� Must be willing to work on shift work on a 24 X 7 basis
� Excellent communication skills
� Wilingness to cross training to other applications / technologies.
� Working exposure to programming.
� Exposure to banking environment.
� Working experience with derivative instruments.
� Proven ability to absorb and assimilate information rapidly.

PRODUCTION SUPPORT TEAM

� Medium level - 3 to 5 years work experience
� Good Financial knowledge,
� VB/Excel, SQL, Unix background
� Problem Solving skills
� Ability to work under pressure
� Willing to work shifts
� Good to have skills: MQ, C++, Java, .Net, Business Analysis

SUPPORT ANALYST

� Medium level - 4 to 5 years work experience
� Unix, Oracle background
� Perl and Shell Scripting experience
� Excellent communication skills
� Support experience
� Willing to provide 24 X 5 support plus weekend work once every 4 weeks.

Competitive compensation package awaits candidates who meet the above requirements. Interested applicants can send in their comprehensive resumes to:

CYBERJ RESOURCES, INC.
8/F Orient Square Building, Emerald Avenue, Ortigas Center, Pasig City
E-mail: paller@77global.biz or hr@cyberjresources.com

Thursday, June 2, 2005, 06:42 p.m.

+ First Entry ^.^ +

It's been quite a while since I mananged to set up a public journal. *looks at archive* Yeah it's more than a year. But I got caught up in my friend's only journal that I didn't have time to update this thing. And now, since the firewall of the company is trying to discourage me from contant blogging, I have managed to update the pubic one.

I've changed the name of this blog from BLURRED SILHOUTTE to BLURRED SILHOUTTE'S FORGIVENESS. The reason is that I have decided to name my livejournal that and since I am using Ayumi Hamasaki's pic for the layout, I have used one of her song titles for the blog. Well... not really... Actually, I have created a poem, and just like Blurred Silhoutte that came out form a poem, I have used it here as well.

Forgiveness

I�ve given you the time you need
I�ve given all the trust I have
And yet it wasn�t enough
You�ve taken and left me dry

I�ve given you friendship
I�ve told you many secrets
But you swept it all away
Haven�t bothered to really accept them

Advices that you seek
Have just passed by
Advices that I gave
Was just blown away

You really didn�t need my help
No help at all

Now you are digging a 6-foot hole
Slowly you�re sinking to the abyss
Maybe you�re just looking for a stone
To be pounded to your head.

Give me a reason to stop my contempt
Stop my distrust, stop my disrespect�
To all the lies that you gave�
Give me a reason to give you forgiveness
But you have none.

I am planning to make it to a song but I haven't got the time to do some major strumming. *laughs* Anyways, this is the first entry for the blog. Enjoy.