Tuesday, August 16, 2005, 11:48 a.m.

mood:
music: The Final - Dir en Grey

Even loved ones scatter like petals from flowers in my hand
So if I engraved the meaning that I lived in my hand, the petals will just scatter as flowers of vanity

So I can't live
What's lost can't be born again

My mind is actually debating on what dye I would buy later. I say this 100+ white dye and another one is a platinum blonde 200+ dye. I sort off promised Hazel that I would try the dye and tell her what are the results. So later, I would be buying the dye and try it maybe on Thursday.

Speaking of Thursday, I would be taking a leave because I have to have my wisdom tooth extracted, and Minami is going to do it... *cheers* But after the operation, she said that I should eat only cold stuff for the next 24 hours, like Ice cream and the likes. Last sunday, I had my teeth x-rayed and it was a pain to remove all the metalic things on my head, namely my 13 earrings. Taking them off is the easy part, but putting them back takes me longer than the results of my X-ray. X.x Minami even is surprised that the results were given out and I haven't finished putting all my earrings on one of my ear.

And then yesterday, my sister lashed out on me and my father because of her new cell phone. She scolded us because we apparently didn't unplugged her phone from it's charging. WTF? How would we know if her phone is charging inside her room. I don't have the habit to go to her room unannounced and look at her things. She said that her kumare (which incidentally our landlady) texted us, me and my father, about her phone charging. But, here's the thing, neither me nor my father received any text message informing us about her phone. So why does she have to bitch us about her stupidity of leaving her phone charging the whole day?

Oh yeah, speaking of phones, I already applied for my SMART line and got myself a new phone but I'm going to sell it, maybe for 5k. Anyone interested in a Nokia 3120? ^^ I just can't let go of my SE phone. The only think I hate about SE is that I can't customized the text tone. --;

Wednesday, August 10, 2005, 05:47 p.m.

mood:
music: Trust - L'arc-en-ciel

Come into the light
can I trust those words?
Come into the light
no doubt it's a world like one out of my dreams,
into the light

Got this from a friend in LJ. This talks about homophobic people who shun people because they are different.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005, 04:00 p.m.

mood:
music: Zetsubuo - MUCC

surrounded by a despair deep and dark,
that hand I frantically grabbed onto
was a memory of someone very dear to me
torn to tatters until it disappeared.
it hurts, IT HURTS, it hurts
at last I found a bit of hope
but even that is now rotting.

Gah, I abhor leeches. I even hada nightmare because of it! These critters are one of the things I hate when it's the rainy season. I live up in the mountain and they come out when it's the rainy season and they can be anywhere. Last weekend, I screamed because there was a leach almost on top of my head. GAH~!!!! Good thing that my father noticed it before it dropped on me. X.x Bring in the rats and mice, I can handle them, lizards too, and even cockroaches but leeches..... T-T

My nightmare that night involved leeches, so many leeches. I was in this room, the floor was red. I asked one of the people there why the floor is red and they said that it is due to the leeches being killed and stepped on. And then there it was, it was raining leeches. I woke up extra early that time, checked my bed and went out of my room and slept on my fathers's sofa bed. Ok that's it, this weekend I would definitely fix my room.

Anyways, on to other stuff... I wasn't able to go to the Toribura meeting last Sunday because of the rain, so I asked Oracle what happened that time. She said that rain can do my armour in two weeks time. OMFG! @.@ I am thinking with my help anyways, but 2 weeks is fast... considering my armour is a little complicated. So that means, the UP AME cosplay will push through and since I don't think they would want a absent boss group XD I have to contact Rain about the making of the armour. Since I'll be going to Divisoria on the 20th, I would be buying the materials by that time. *phew* Need to loose weight and the staff will not be done ... yet.

And our coach said that the practice would be tomorrow after work at 6 pm. So I would be going to work earlier than usual. X.x Since I want to finish my work before the practice. I haven't played for 2 years is going to screw my foot work. I hope I won't disappoint the coach and the team. T-T

Now to survey time... since I've been tagged by people in Livejournal..... I think this surveyed is called 7 Things or 7 Survey. XD XD XD

Seven things that scare you:
1. dying without no one to care
2. LEECHES!
3. heights
4. future
5. loved ones dying
6. earthquakes and natural disasters
7. become insane

Seven things you like the most:
1. chocolates
2. stuffed toys
3. LIBRENG FOOD XD
4. YAOI~!!!!
5. L'arc-en-ciel (a jrock band)
6. silver earrings
7. the color black

Seven important things in your room:
1. my electri guitar (which is with Marga T-T)
2. my pillows
3. my jrock / Yaoi CDs
4. my piggy bank
5. my costumes
6. my glass etched mirror
7. my blanky... :P

Seven random facts about you:
1. I haven't used my passport and gotten out of the country... yet :P
2. I have 10 stuffed toys in my desks in the office, plus 3 other animals XD
3. My eyes are natural light brown, and I don't wear contact lenses
4. I'm allergic to pain-killers with Ibuprofen and of course I'm allergic to cigarette smoke as well
5. I bring home stray cats when I was still living in Pasig. Nowadays, I can't bring home a cat because our dogs will kill it, plus my BF doesn't want me to bring home strays XD
6. I'm bisexual.
7. I've written a 19 chapter YAOI SD fanfic about my past relationship

Seven things you plan to do before you die:
1. be able to buy a condo
2. be able to buy a motorcycle
3. to learn how to drive (may it be car or a motorcycle)
4. be a game tester (yes, and I'm a SOFTWARE tester now) and reviewer
5. to learn how to sew
6. leave the country and use my freaking passport!
7. do extreme sports!

Seven things you can do:
1. I can play the guitar
2. I can pass a day with just playing the PS or the computer without eating anything
3. dye / bleach my own hair
4. glass etch / paint
5. sketch and paint (acrylic) on the canvass
6. cook and bake
7. friendship bracelets

Seven things you can't do:
1. sew
2. drive
3. be polite to people who insult me or my loved ones (in other words makipagplastikan)
4. cheat on my lover
5. ?
6. ?
7. ?

Seven things that attract you to the opposite sex:(in no particular order)
1. sense of humor
2. intelligence
3. eyes
4. patient
5. kind
6. malambing
7. ish huggable :P

Seven celeb crushes (whether local or foreign)
1. Yukihiro of L'arc-en-ciel
2. Ruka of Nightmare
3. Johny Depp
4. Stuart Townsend (Queen of the Damned)
5. Ayumi Hamasaki
6. ?
7. ?

Seven people you want to see to take this quiz:
1. Robert
2. Cathy
3. Leslie
4. Kestrel
5. Rem
6. Yuki
7. ?

Monday, August 8, 2005, 07:31 p.m.

mood:
music: My Dear - L'arc-en-ciel

go on, look for love, to the otherside of the deep woods
(real love, my dear, is not for sale)
no matter how I strained my eyes looking, I never could find it but...
(real love, my dear, is hard to find)
listen, even if the whole world is corrupted by sin
I'll never let go of the hand I hold in mine
that's all you need have faith in

Yes, it's my first day. Actually, I am feeling a little hyper, that even with the cramps that I'm having, I am still hyper and always laughing. Maybe it's because I'm addicted to this game that Gem (an officemate of mine) lend to me for the time being. The game is Xenogears by Squaresoft. I was playing it whole day yesterday and I am proud to say that I haven't used walkthrough ... yet XD Another factor that I liked about the game is that they have hints... YAOI hints to be exact XD XD XD And of course, when I told Gem about it, he almost lost his appetite over lunch XD Almost.... bwahahaha. Giddy, giddy giddy. The gameplay is really cool, it's like Final Fantasy but their movie are anime instead of CG.

I'm also happy because this week we will be having our basketball practice. The basketball would be composed of the alumni of st. paul q.c. and it's been a while since I've seen them. The coach (who is also my officemate x.x) had already informed me that there might be a practice by wednesday or friday night.

Another factor why I'm happy because we watched Charlie and Chocolate Factory last Saturday with Robert, Minami, Kuya Paul and Louie. Johnny Depp is teh coolest. I am not really a gushing fan of his but boy, he can really act, and he's not bad looking too :P "Candy doesn't have to have a point, that's why it's candy..."

Edit: Since I'm getting sick of the black hair that has grown through out the weeks, I have decided to bleach my hair again and thanks to Kestrel, she gave me an advice about bleaching XD Now, I luv the color on the top and I have somewhat white highslights on the bottom. Next pay day, I would be trying the platinum dye that I saw in Hortaleza XD

Friday, August 5, 2005, 02:01 p.m.

mood:
music: Solitary - Gackt

Back when we were all laughing together,
we all cried the same as well.
dividing the joy, and this sadness amongst us.

I tend to write things that are utterly nonsense to some people but I tend to write it anyways. But I am not hating the fact that I can't update my LJ. It's not I don't like having a public blog, but at times like this reminds me why I prefer my FRIENDS ONLY LJ. I mean, this is the internet and everything you say would be judged. At syempre, may mga tao na nakikisawsaw sa buhay porke't sa public mo nilagay ang post mo, magbibigay nang comment na hindi naman nya talaga alam ang nangyayari.

Anyways, back to having a public blog, I might be setting up a blog somewhere where I can write in peace. I would not disclose the matter but I would be probabaly putting it up somewhere under an alias. Rien, Angstnomiko, Juworu, Jueru, Yuki and whatever nicknames that I used are already known by most of the people I know.

Or maybe I should just scrape all my blogs off the internet and get a diary.

Wednesday, August 3, 2005, 05:34 p.m.

mood:
music: 孤独に死す、故に孤独 (kodoku ni shisu, yueni kodoku) - Dir en Grey

I am just garbage with an umbrella So give me my dream
I am used to hiding underneath the umbrella So I want you for me
Can you hear me?

So with the cosplay event around the corner, my head is really debating if I'm going to cosplay on November. No, it's not what I planned though because I haven't even started it, much less buying the materials. X.x And then Sephiroth said that it suits me to cosplay Tsunade of Naruto. I've asked my BF about it and he said that it's not eye-candy, not like one of my other plans and it's much better for me to have a Naruto group. For those of you who do not knoe Tsunade is, here she is:

Seph said that I have the blonde hair, the assets and event the attitude...X.x Mayber I can cosplay her on November or not cosplay at all. Hmmm... I'll see by that time I guess.

Tuesday, August 2, 2005, 07:47 p.m.

mood:
music: 現実を嗤う(genjitsu wo warau) - Tokyo Jihen

you say those proverbs as if you had contrived them
i know your arrogance, but do not point it out
and you've not changed a bit in three long dismal years
i think your flaw isn't so much your fault as a charm
maybe i will meet you one day, maybe Wednesday, maybe not・・・
still, i'm sure to meet you anyway, maybe Thursday, maybe not・・・

i want to be you
just like a leaf that has flown away with the wind and the rain
this 'romance' is so mellow, and 'so real'
just like a song that has died away with a flash in the night
i would like to be composed of you

you tell your stories as if you had no respect for anyone
i sing my songs as if I were a prostitute
you take a snap at me, and stuff yourself on my welfare
i feel like i am clinging to a cloud
maybe I will kiss you slowly, maybe quickly, maybe not・・・
still, i'm sure to kiss you anyway, maybe sweetly, maybe not・・・

i want to be you
it's hard to spend a lifetime for myself with the quakes and the storm
this 'romance' is an error, and 'surreal'
it's clear that i love your insensitiveness like the hills and the sky
i would like to be merged into you

Wow, I love this song. *points up* Ok I like Tokyo Jihen now. But I'm still looking for s specific MP3 that I want. I wonder where I can download it that would not killed by the firewall. *glares at firewall*

Happy 8th Monthsary KOI~!!!! Ahaha. I forgot again but you greeted me still. I think I'm becoming too forgetful.

Monday, August 1, 2005, 06:54 p.m.

mood:
music: * -Asterisk- - Orange Range (Bleach OST)

Rays of light from the stars in the night sky above
send a plea from across the ages
with colours that haven't faded
It's somebody's cry, reflected in those sparkling eyes
A wish carried on the wind, a request from the moon
to live as fully as possible, day by day
Rays of light from the stars in the night sky above
send a plea from across the ages
with colours that haven't faded
So that our wishes, too, will be in someone's heart someday,
let's shine on like that star

Yes, yes, I believe that I'm possessive... I bid on my own boyfriend last Saturday. He invited me to a UP AME event that was held in Project 8. I was curious as to what they do in their event so I decided to tag along. Unfortunately, I woke up late, not because I was lazy but because the previous night we, me and my officemates went out. It was the last day of one of my officemates and she said that there will be a drinking session to be held in Gerry's Libis. So I decided to go since the one who is parting is like a sister to me, and I'm a succer for free food and drinks. I got home in the wee hours in the morning at 4:00 am. --; So I got to the meeting place later than usual and suprised that I was the first one to arrived. Hazel will also be going with us.

While waiting for Robert and Hazel to arrive, I saw a familiar face that I didn't expect to see. It was Pong! (I don't know if this was the right spelling of his name) Actually Pong is Kuya Paul's friend and I met him while we are going to watch a movie, and I believe he was also there in the Sci-Fi con. Last time I heard from him, he was going to go to Europe for a tour. I didn't know that he would be back at this time. So we chatted while waited for my BF and Hazel. At about 2 pm, we went on our way to the UP AME.

We arrived there, and I was kinds nervous because I'm not familiar with the faces of the members ofthe UP AME. And then I met Sakka there. Unfortunately, I didn't remember her because the last time I saw her was 2 years before. And that was the first time I met her O.o; I apologized and hang out with her. And then I saw Neko-chan (partially scolding her), Amy Lou (one of my best friend since higschool that I missed so much. Last time i saw her was a year ago), Rachel (I love her curls O.O I want to cut it, bleach it and put it on me so that I can be goldilocks XD XD XD) and Mic is also there (get well soon ^^).

While I was talking to Amy Lou, the bidding of "bishies" started and I didn't really listen to it, not until they announced that Robert is the one being auctioned. Of course, I dind't want anyone to get my BF. Ok, Ok, I admit, I am a little bit possessive.... erm... yes. HE'S MINE DAMN IT! *heaves* --; Anyways, I bid until it reached 300 and I won him. The announcer called me to the front and asked me what can I say as I won Robert. I said "I bid on my own property! Ang daya (It's unfair)!" But well, it's done and I paid. I think it's a conspiracy. O.o

Anyways, here are some pictures of the event c/o Hazel. (Thanks Badingers!)

Me, Mic, Rachel and Hazel

Boom, Hazel, Me and Sakka

Robert and me ^o^