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What happened to Christmas cheer? I don't think I've felt this lousy since June 2007. :(

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance, but you still catch my eye
Tell me baby, do you recognize me?
Well it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me

"Happy Christmas", I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying "I love you", I meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you kissed me now, I know you'd fool me again

A crowded room, friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you, and your soul of ice
I thought you were someone to rely on
Me, I guess I was a shoulder to cry on






Shirlyn sent me an email about life in the words of George Charlin, a famous comedian who first hosted Saturday Night Live and I must say it really rang deep in my heart- esp since I nearly lost 2 very very dear friends this week. :(

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, an d a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.






You are: The Idealist



Direct, Smooth, and Loving. This little lady is extremely idealistic in her views of life, love and happiness. She’s read plenty of books, seen plenty of sappy movies, and has cried many empathetic tears. If you have a strong sense of romance, history, and self-awareness, she’s the perfect match. If you lack any of these things, she’s pretty much out of reach. The idealist knows how her life should be going, and when it’s going in a different direction, she gets stoic, detached, and contemplative about her place in life. She’s the type that has deep, complex relationships with many people. She is also prone to having affairs later in life.






I have a daily routine I do no matter what. It could be in the morning or in the evening but I also make sure I read the Straits Times, NY Times, BBC and International Herald Tribune everyday. As nerdy as this sounds, I just love reading articles and how simple words can convey such emotion to a recount of an event- to dissect the biasness of the account and to extract the fundamental ramifications.

It's a small joy and I take it whenever I can.

But now, I really dread reading the papers every morning. News of disaster, terror attacks, strikes, unrest, lecherous men and women and the list goes on. What is the world coming to?

Interestingly I seem to find terrible events tend to wreck havoc just as the year ends. Just look at the past 5 years:

2004:
Asian Tsunami that killed thousands and wrecked TREMENDOUS damage

2005:
Israeli-Palestinian Conflict

2006:
Ethiopian war in Somalia.
Typhoon Durian in Philippines kills thousands.

2007:
Benazir Bhutto is assassinated just like her father and the only hope of democracy is one of the world's most militant countries.
Kashmir also suffers a huge earthquake that kills thousands.

2008:
Mumbai Bombings.
Massive Bangkok airport demonstration.

What happened to the season to be jolly? :(






After 3 days of attending to non-stop drama some of my law interns had with their boss, I can safely say that I am now very happy with my decision to leave law. Any shadow of doubt or question I have ever had about the sanity of my decision 5 years ago has now fully be satiated. I may earn a $1000 less than could for my qualifications but heck at least I have some form of humanity and purpose!!

Ughh.

Leave me and my little girls alone! :)

But oh, I still don't mind marrying one. I think. haahha








If I could ever give anyone advice on dealing with people, I would say:

Never let anyone or anything be your priority in life, when to them you are just another option.

Easy to say. Very difficult to practice.






I'm officially free! Emancipated from the yoke of PW marking, work review and everything else in between! Of course there is a pile of holiday hw waiting to greet me but that can be done later!

So to celebrate, I watched Ave Q on Sat and went for Edmund's bday celebration! It was so fun and spontaneous and made me remember exactly why we are such good friends! It's such a pity that everyone's always so busy and its SOOO hard to meet up!

Unfortunately, I had to miss the girls outing with the church girls on Sat, which looked SOOOOO FUN!! :( But there will be other oppurtunites ya?

It feels so good to wake up late and stay up late and take my own sweet time to do the things I want to do and EAT! Last night, I spent 4 hours uploading tons of pictures! haha and I actually still have more but am waiting for more before I create an album! ahha

So what's up for the next few weeks? Let's see:
1) 4 Weddings
2) 2 21st Bday Parties
3) Tons of meet-ups
4) Mission Trip Planning
5) Christmas Shopping!!!!

SO EXCITING!!!!!! I get to be all tai-tai on my ridiculously small budget!! :P

P.S. I CANNOT gain any more weight if I intend to fit into my saree! *HELP*






It's when you learn more about someone that you truly realise how strong your friendship/bond is.

And if you really take them for better and for worst. Or if it's just for the better and the slightly average.

Sometimes, you realise that there really isn't much there when you look deeper. That's when you make the sad decision to let that friendship lapse to a lower priority.

But what if the more you know, the more you are so grateful for each other and can't imagine not knowing each other?

Then, I would say that we have for ourselves, *gasp*

true friendship. :)



thank you Lord for my amazing blessings of friends. :)






I want to be free.

like before.








The problem with fairy tales is that they set a girl up for disappointment.

In real life, the prince goes of with the wrong princess.

Or the spell wears off and the two lovers realise that they are better of alone.

But I'll confess that every once in a while, a girl craves her fairytale ending.

But not all of us would be blessed to receive it.








Fever.

Aches.

Runny Nose.

HORRIBLE COUGH.

Needs to sleep. Badly.






Why am I so swarmed???

I've been at work everyday for 14-15hrs. I was at work last Saturday until 9.30pm and I am supposed to only work 5 days a week! I've been running everywhere that I've actually forgotten to eat so many times this week that all in all, I only ate 4 times this whole week! Can you imagine?

Super swarmed!! And there are 3 functions to attend today and I think I can only go for 2 of them. Sigh.

But you know what's the funny part? I am really enjoying work and the people I am meeting and these parties.

I've become a closet workaholic that finds joy from having no time for sleep or rest. :P

Or maybe I just enjoy having someone else worried for me. :P






Oddly enough, that's how I feel at times even though I have embraced the present. But yet whenever the past creeps back, I go back to remembering how pathetically inadequate and "not good enough" I am.

And I suppose the induced menopause isn't helping.

But it's true. It will always be out of reach. So much for distinguishing between the fact of being and the truth of trying.

And know I’m
So confused
My heart’s bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach, couldn’t see
We were never met to be
Out of reach, so far,
You never gave your heart
In my reach, I can see
There’s a life out there for me






I finally caught the local version of the Vagina Monologues today with the most unexpected bunch of friends. So since I made my way down after church, I was early and messaged the two boys that I would be "waiting for them at the lobby, doing what I do best." (which is marking btw, for the uninformed)

And guess what they reply?

R says "Dancing like the wind and breaking into song?" whilst A says "Looking pretty?"

So typical RI/SJI!

I have such smarmy overachieving friends who always make me smile. :P Too bad one is gay and the other is taken. haha

Oh and on a separate note, I am no longer worried about people miscontruing things! The fears have been allayed! :)






Talk about a crazy week!!!

From chaperoning the Horse Riding Sabbatical on Tues and Wed to following my Project Work group to the home on Tues night and meeting their mentor on Thurs night, to conducting 24 interviews with wannabe lawyers and doctors for a place for holiday attachments the whole of Thurs, to being in school for Open House and Grad Day till 10.30pm on Fri night, you can only imagine how exhausted I am. *phew* This is minus the piles of marking and PW assessment stuff I have to do. Exhausted is truly the word and the recuperating patient needs more rest! :P

So imagine my disgust when my one free Wed evening ends up in me being duped into watching a movie with a friend who UTTERLY AND COMPLETELY pisses me off with his DEROGATORY and ASININE demands and SELFISH coercion coupled with JUDGEMENTAL remarks. A complete disaster is the word. I would love to write more but the moral being in me would like to hope that it was a one time thing and not worth the public rant. Rest assured, that one is NEVER getting a callback.

But the weekend is here and I am resting and relaxing and doing all the arty farty things I love love love! :)

Oh! Oh! and after Open House, I just realised how a bunch of sexy dancers can make a bunch of men gather almost immediately in mass oogling. Even if the girls aren't that hot or pretty. Amazing. But it sure gets the boys to choose to come to the school next year. Works out for everyone I guess- we hope to get the grades, the boys hope to get the girls and the girls hope to learn to work the moves. Perfecto. :)






Love is not love,
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O, no! It is an ever fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken.

Makes you think doesn't it?

On a side note, I contemplated not coming to work today because I couldn't decide what to wear and I didn't want to repeat my dresses. :P






Either I have been on MC too long or men have just changed. Here I am at work: marking and drinking tea while the 4 guys around me are talking abt clothes and how a particular shirt cut in a particular way can be flattering.

This is crazy.

And now they are all going shopping together in the afternoon at Paragon.

I am NOT dreaming this. Now I have to worry about what I wear with these guys arnd!!

P.S: And they are straight. Very very straight men.






Being stuck at home and not having my regular weekly window shopping around town is killing me!

I so want these!!! Hope they aren't sold out by next week! Aren't they just delicious??










I am so sick of the same question again and again. So sick of the same look, same doubt.

The answer is no. NO.

I wish it was a yes, but it isn't. Sigh. It just isn't.

Please just stop asking. Really! Why does everyone ask me the same darn question! And by the way, I don't know why the answer is no.

I just don't.






Aren't they the most gorgeous cast ever? I have spent the past few days scrutinizing Blair and Serena's wardobe to the tee! ahahha I am too bored!






Being stuck at home is getting to me! I really want to watch these!!!







I so WANT to be up and about! The movie buff in me is calling!








Then I could really smile forever. :)






I've became a little of a couch potato these past few days as I recover. I literally have a TV, sleep and eat schedule now and I must say, I am so glad for it! haha :)

Anyway, with a little persuasion from Grace, I decided to start watching Gossip Girl. It's become my perfect way to end the evening once I settle in bed and watch 2 episodes till I fall asleep. I must say Grace, AWESOME advice. It is WAY wicked.

But you know what occured to me? I realised how we are so into making (and watching) TV serieses and movies about the elite of East Coast (I mean the US, not Spore). Just look at SATC, Lipstick Jungle, Dirty Sexy Money, Cashmere Mafia, Boston Public, Gilmore Girls and the list goes on. And now we have Gossip Girl-of an alternate universe of WAY high society private school peeps with WAY too much money and a life that reminds me more of university than secondary school. Man, these kids are gona be BORED in college, I tell you. haha

But it's like this guilty pleasure we derive from seeing how scandalous and hedonistic the lifestyles of the rich and famous are. Or maybe it's just a secret desire inside us to be one of these girls/guys. Or maybe it makes us happy to know that money can't buy happiness. Who knows? All I know is I am hooked. From observing fashion ideas to hoping things like that can happen to me, I am going to be a fan of Gossip Girl and any upcoming TV show about Manhattan's elite. I am a TV whore who has to live vicariously thru TV (and now my phone). haha

Sometimes it's kinda funny to try and draw parallels to real life. Like the private schools mentioned in Gossip Girl are pretty much the Raffles-HwaChong-ACS/MGS-SJI/CHIJ grp of schools in Singapore. And I went to one of them. My life was definitely not that exciting but it may also have been for the fact that I was very shy in secondary school (heck, I still am). But one thing is DEFINITELY the same as show- the GOSSIP and the relationships. Heck, I am STILL victim of it. hahaa It never ends I tell you.

And I am sure all of us who went to such schools would definitely agree. :)




"

Welcome

About Her

Lav is an idealistic yet pragmatic individual, who writes this blog as an avenue for others to have insight to her life, thoughts and aspirations. Often dramatic, quirky but all around entertaining, this hedonistic yet spiritual female often questions far too much more than she should. Perhaps her expectations are too high but she believes in the beauty of her dreams. Happy endings are not what she dreams of but fulfilled promises, mercies from God, martinis with wonderful friends, pretty frocks, quaint dinners, blooming flowers, popped collars and witty repartee never fail to captivate her. To her, life can only be lived forwards and understood backwards.

Wishing and Hoping For

A MacBook

A New Night Fragrance

A Black Tote Bag

Limited Edition Dior Lip Gloss

Massimo Dutti Shirts

Speak Now..Or Forever Hold Your Peace

Royal Entourage

Hz Kos Joe Ian Mel Rab Png Jon Eric Marc Tian Lina Faith Gilbert Debbie Eunice Felicia Marcus Jeremy Shirlyn Marcus Pauline Jerraine Xing Jian My Shining Stars

In Retrospect

Californication
The Ramblings of 2004-2007

Credits

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Brushes: Hybrid-genesis
Images: DeviantArt