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The Jetsetter returns

Saturday, September 23, 2006


Flying off to Sarawak in less than 2 hours! Can't wait to actually see the side of Eastern Malaysia-somewhere I haven't been too since I was in primary school. Really do hope we manage to cross the border to Kalimantan and get to relive the events of Konfrontasi though a Konfrontasi with Farrell is far from appealing.

And no, I ain't living in a longhouse or using canoes. But hey, give me a 4 star hotel with a gorgeous bathroom anytime. I hope I get a whole double bed to myself again. hee!!

See ya when I return! :) Still need to finish packing. Ugh.


lav closed her eyes and prayed @ 10:52 a.m.


My Dear CG

Saturday, September 23, 2006


Whilst, I recognize that I have been posting way too many times in the short span of these 2 days, I think that this post is by far extremely essential.

After such a hilarious and enlightening CG yesterday, I decided a special shoutout to my delightful cell group and its ever-growing numbers is essential. It struck me by surprise to have Shirlyn vocalize my deepest fear last night as she asked if I ever worry about leading CG and if I am teaching the right stuff. What was probably even more surprising was how God reassured me in my heart that his peace would come as I taught. I really thank God for challenging me to take up this position and giving me the group that fit me best. Whilst I was initially worried that leading a bunch of 14-16 year olds would be arduous since I technically find it alot easier to hang out with the older youth, I was pleasantly surprised at how well I click with them and can just be myself. It was of course all that much more encouraging to see my CG actually see my effort and thank me for it. Sometimes, we get so used to something, we fail to see the miracle of the situation, yet my dear little ones did, and I am eternally grateful.

So here is a little shoutout to Marc, Nick Tan, Subash, Pauline, Huiling, Michelle, Shirlyn, Shu Huei, Jocelyn, Jolene and Nicole Tan (oh and my dear co-leader, Jem) - for being such great CGers and being so enthusiastic and open-minded about everything! Remember to do the QT homework and oh we need a name!! :)

Once again I am reminded of God's great mercy and His love and how He always knows what is best. Such blessings could never come from anyone else. :)
lav closed her eyes and prayed @ 09:48 a.m.


Academic Record No. 1

Saturday, September 23, 2006


I think I just hit my first academic record ever.

I have drafted out almost all of a History essay, albeit much imperfections, well before its deadline.

Gosh, maybe this is the sign that you're in your honours year.


lav closed her eyes and prayed @ 3:12 a.m.


Why me???

Friday, September 22, 2006


I think Brian Farrell hates me.

Or at least he is trying to get even with me for having a pivotal role in assisting in getting him drunk.

Maybe that is why I am stuck with doing the post-Sarawak briefing. :(

Either that or the man has a strange strange way of showing affection.

And yes, Brian Farrell is my professor who is my dad's age and far from an adolescent.
lav closed her eyes and prayed @ 11:06 p.m.


Cancer Code

Wednesday, September 20, 2006


Ripped this off from Lizard. Wonder how much of it is true.

"Cancerians are cute. They pretend to be tough but it's all an act. They have great memories and lots of them are good at history. They love anything old, like museums, antiques and your grandmother. They are fairly secretive and hide things - food in their drawers and cupboards for instance. They stay pretty close to home, are extremely psychic, have a great sense of humour and are the world's best cooks. They collect things. Other people call this garbage but to them it's gold...you'd never find a Cancerian throwing a garage sale."

Well I ain't so sure about being cute but I am a history major but I definitely am never always close to home. Hmmm...any thoughts?
lav closed her eyes and prayed @ 08:35 a.m.


Malaccan Brief

Tuesday, September 19, 2006


Loads of shopping.

Great company.

Trudging up hills with a Caucasian professor explaining Asian historical sights to Asian students.

New friends.

Late night drinking sessions.

Historic Sights.

Dirty Jokes.

One too many beers.

A Huge Ass Suite.

Awesome roommates and neighbours.

Flaming Waterfalls.

Bag Shopping.

Drunk Professors belting out Summer of '69.

Propogandic Musuems.

The Official Founding of the Fan Club and the 2 honorary non-fanners.

Awesome Food.

Condoms and Blowjobs on display in museums.

More alcohol.

Long Boat Rides and Hair Flying in the Wind

Late night gossip.

Super cold coach rides.

Chendol!

And did I mention more alcohol?

So yes, if you must ask, it was an awesome trip.


lav closed her eyes and prayed @ 09:18 a.m.


Historical Malacca

Friday, September 15, 2006


Off to Malacca to explore ancient architecture and colonization.

See you guys in a bit!
lav closed her eyes and prayed @ 07:19 a.m.


The Wake Up Call

Wednesday, September 13, 2006


I really think I waste so much time doing nothing and yet I still do something. Sigh.

The first big paper of the semester is looming and I ain't even sure how it is going to go. As it is, I am already way too apprehensive and the research seems to be hitting a wall. Sigh.

So many concerns, so many problems, so many hurdles. All that must be crossed and will be if I put my mind to it. So I decided, today is the day school starts for me per se. After the project meeting and service evaluation in town, I headed off to do a spot of shopping and got yet another dress, 2 pairs of shoes and a belt. So now well stocked with enough outfits to last me another month or so, I am back to the grinding stone as I sort through lists and lists of journal articles and old newspaper articles and books on Edward Heath and the British Entry into the European Economic Community.

It's time I show myself and this year what I am really worth. I really thank God for giving me all this reserve energy to even do any work. So I do apologise in advance if I may have seemed snappy or lethargic these past few days in class or outside, but well honestly, I haven't actually been there these past few days and well its about time I come back to earth.

Ok back to database searching!
lav closed her eyes and prayed @ 10:42 p.m.


COOKIES FOR SALE!!!

Sunday, September 10, 2006


For Sale: Delicious Homemade Chocolate Chip or Raisin Cookies!!!

From a box of 20 delicious chocolate chip cookies in a clear container with gorgous burgundy and silver ribbons



Or a box of 20 yummylicious raisin cookies in a clear container with vibrant blue and silver ribbons.



Please do support my church fund raising effort with our bake sale. Be assured that the cookies are fabulous and are made from a recipe that yours truly uses regularly and has often been hinted to rival the Subway cookie. We have received no complaints and you will not only be doing your tummy treat but also be having such a beautiful package unravel. Of course, all this on top of helping God's work in Thailand.

Please do support k? Each box costs $10 and they look and taste gorgeous! Really. :) Just sms me or leave a comment. Thanks guys! They can even be home delivered if need be, as long as you get at least one box! :) Just look at how scrumptious they are!


lav closed her eyes and prayed @ 11:56 p.m.


Girl in the Balloon

Sunday, September 10, 2006


I am increasingly beginning to think that I have regressed to being a Category A. Seriously.

For the privileged few who have been privy to my theory on people and their standpoint on relationships at this turbulent age of mid and early 20s, will know what I am talking about. Well for the benefit of the rest, I have this theory that people at this age between 19-26 are really complete with baggage, no matter how much they may deny it. And well in my opinion, they can be pretty much divided into three distinct groups and everyone either belongs to these individual categories or straddle the characteristics of both or are victim to a modification of any of these categories.

So basically, to be Category A, you would have to have never been in a relationship before and since we are all now in our 20s, it is considered to be rather late to still be a relationship-virgin and all these years of waiting or being too busy to care have led to increased expectations on a future gf/bf as well as the fear of embarking on a relationship. So the baggage of people in this category, stems from the fear of the unknown and the unwillingness to move from the predicatbility and safety of the singledom of now even when loneliness or a suitable mate comes knocking on your door.

And I honestly think that is what I am becoming. I used to be torn between a Category B and Category C. Cat B is someone who had been in a relationship and was traumatized in varying degrees by the relationship either physically, emotionally or spiritually that the weight and scars from the hurt fail to lift, whilst Category C is someone who thinks he/she has already met the one in life for him/her and as life would deem it, things didn't work out for whatever reason but this person still lives with the realisation that no one else would take tt person's place so it's hard to think that anyone else would even come close to that. Category C people tend to either close themselves off from any other relationship since they know they have already lost their soulmates while others will just settle for second best.

So yea, I used to stand between being reminded of the aftermath of the horrible breakup and the controvesy and problems that ensued that on some level I was almost afraid to go into another relationship as I feared that the end of that new one would be as traumatizing as the last one. I know I know. It was weird to think that I already thought of the end of things before they started but hey, protectionism baby. Then sometime two years ago, I become more of a Category C as someone whom seemed heaven-sent and oh-so-perfect and considering everything went amazingly well, I thought for a while that just maybe my prayers has been answered for a partner, but due to a myriad of almost unfortunate factors, things didn't work out and I had to live with the reality of the decision, God's call and everything else that was just too much too handle, I actually for a while asked God to give me a break and let me just live. Really. I ain't kidding you. I really did that.

So for the longest time, I straddled a Category B and Category C and just swung around there for a bit. Yes, I admit that there wasn't really anyone to admit any of these problems too as I ain't to begin with very much girlfriend material. But still, I knew my stand. However, this year, talks with various friends have made me question my status. Maybe after not being in a relationship for so long, I have become a relationship-virgin again. Don't laugh its true. And even when I look back at the ex-bf now, I realise how we didn't on many levels have a relationship in the way people define it to be. There was no real entwinning of hearts and sharing of lives and all that jazz. If anything, we were simply a perfunctory teenage specimen. Maybe after all this time of denying, he was right afterall. We probably never were in a relationship as we were, for lack of a better term, friends with benefits, and even at that not the best of friends.

So now I stand on new ground as a potential Category A who fears too much and fails to see herself as someone any guy would want to be with, let alone marry. As someone who is contented where she stands, she creates a little balloon around herself and friends and lives in enlightened ignorance of the life she is avoiding.

But then the question remains: does she want someone to burst that balloon and safe her or will that balloon just become bigger and stronger over time that it is unpenetrable or worst yet, would there even be anyone that notices that girl in the balloon?
lav closed her eyes and prayed @ 12:57 a.m.


So Hollow

Friday, September 8, 2006


"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to be sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one - not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safely in the casket or the coffin of your selfishness." -C.S Lewis-

That is precisely it. I am dead. In my white funeral to God, I closed so many things good and bad out of my life so I could be numb from any real emotion ever again.

I'm a mutant. Unrecognizable to myself and the self-centredness I shroud myself in whilst manifesting the egoism of my mind as my super power, when really all I am is nothing.

For after all, a corpse has no life to speak of but only a death.
lav closed her eyes and prayed @ 05:47 p.m.


Speak O Lord and Make Me Listen

Thursday, September 7, 2006


"The call of God is not a reflection of my nature; my personal desires and temperament are of no consideration. As long as I dwell on my own qualities and traits and think about what I am suited for, I will never hear the call of God." - Oswald Chambers-

That really is my problem isn't it. I am always looking to hear what I want to hear and hence never hear it. Maybe that's why until today I still am far from aware of my call.

Because of my two biggest barriers and my preoccupation of how those two areas of my life will turn out. All because of my trivial, futile and ridiculous fears. Why is there such fear to surrender to God while much less fear to just surrender to failure?

Am I really more ready to call myself a failure than trust God?

Sigh. I have so much to learn and be refined.
lav closed her eyes and prayed @ 09:30 p.m.


Tabula Rasa No More?

Wednesday, September 6, 2006


Recently, a good friend of mine went through quite a big change in her life. Not just physically but emotionally and I suppose spritually as well. So much that I now even question if I even do know her anymore.

I suppose on some level, the changes I see in her have led me to question the lack of change in myself. How I look pretty much the same since I entered to uni until now. How I fluctuated a while spritually but am back to the equilibrium I was in in JC. How if I really needed to pinpoint a change, it would probably the dip in my academic grades. For some reason and I'm sure its a good one, all minor fluctuations and changes that I went through these past 4 years in university have led me right back to square one. Hence why I say I haven't really changed albeit the addition of the under-eye concealer and eye liner. Mellow maybe but definitely no 180 degree turn.

Yet so many people around me have changed. Either physically or because of a relationship, a new career path or an overseas education, that I am sometimes so inclined to believe that I have been left behind in this race of progress. This is where my struggle between my worldly side and spiritual side comes in as I wonder what it is exactly that I should do. I suppose in the end, all I have done is follow my heart and do what seems right.

Perhaps it has made me happy so far but I really hope it will in time to come. My mother is always quoted by one and all in the family as 'someone who has never changed since the day she married my dad' and I guess on some level I have inherited those genes. Yet, I don't know why I can't help but question my lack of ability to change.

Why is it I can't be less lazy or more studious, or more concerned about my appearances or my lack of a social life? I really don't know. Maybe its sheer laziness or just that my calling is of a higher degree, whatever that may be.

But alas I can only wait to know. Because on some level, I feel I need to change yet all I am inside is almost quite literally that same 17 year old girl that donned a CJ uniform and spent way too much giggling and talking way too much about nothing in particular with her lovely classmates who entertained her with crazy antics and stories of ridiculous teachers, parents and boys.

I'm 22 dammit. Can I still be so silly?
lav closed her eyes and prayed @ 11:15 p.m.


Regular Meals

Tuesday, September 5, 2006


This may seem really weird but I think today is the first time in 2 weeks or so that I have had 2 complete meals in a day coupled with some snacks. Seriously.

I realised how ever since school started, I barely have time for proper meals or full meals. If I have morning class, there is rarely time for breakfast and if I even do grab something to eat at the 10min break given during the 3hr lecture, it would probably just be a waffle or smth and it fills me up so much that I can't eat lunch and sometimes manage to stuff down a little bit of dinner. Of course, I get hungry at around 9ish but its so unhealthy to eat a few hours before you sleep so I try to abstain or suck some sweets. Sucks eh? But really when school starts that is my food schedule.

I think today was the first time when I had proper lunch and a proper dinner. Really. If Euns hadn't asked me out, I doubt I would have had hall dinner and have gone to bed feeling semi-hungry yet not hungry enough to walk back to Fong Send to grab supper.

Don't get me wrong. I ain't on a diet by a long short but there is suddenly little impetus to eat and when I do, the moment passes too soon or I'm in class or there is no one to eat with. I know it's unhealthy but at least when I'm home, I get to eat more or at least more regularly. Sigh. I think even my mum realised in the past week that I barely eat regularly as I fly from class to tuition to church to wherever else.

Well at least on the good side of things, I hope I get to loose some of that weight I put on during the holidays. But alas, I know that is by far not a good strive. So guys, please do ask me out cuz if not, I actually may not eat. Sigh.
lav closed her eyes and prayed @ 10:38 p.m.


Joke No. 2

Monday, September 4, 2006


"I really want someone to impress me you know. And well, he quite frankly doesn't really. The guy needs to take my breath away and he just doesn't seem to yet. Heck, even Andrew takes more of my breath away than him."

"Well that would be precisely be Andrew as he surrounds you and encroaches all around you such that you quite literally have your breath taken away."

And here I thought corny jokes and slapstick comments ended with Gilbert off to Canada and Andrew in London.

Thanks Euns for catching Dhoby's corny jokes bug. :)
lav closed her eyes and prayed @ 08:26 a.m.


The Race for the Altar

Sunday, September 3, 2006


I've decided that for every difficult day I go through, I shall find one positive thing and bask in that glory. I think that was how I tried to survive the latter part of JC and apparently it worked so well that I sometimes forget the pain that I had to endure. So here's the funniest tale of this weekend for one and all to hear, if you weren't already there to hear it.

Ok so on Sat, I managed to squeeze some time in between work, tuition and the triplet's christening to go down for Salem Chapel's Evangelical Rally. As time would permit, I was able to linger for a bit and catch up with old and new friends, when suddenly Arun (an 18 yr old guy from my church), comes up to me and says

Arun: Hey Lav, I have a new goal in life.

Me: Really? What?

And to be fair, I was seriously intrigued by now especially by the enthusiam that seem to come with his voice.

Arun: My new goal is to get married before you do.

Ok. Yes. Exactly. That was my reaction. Silence. Raised eyebrows and a hesistant "hmm..ok."

Arun: No really. I am now aiming to get married before you do.

Did I mention by the way that he is only 18?

Me: Really? Well then go ahead. I won't even fight you on this one. In fact, I will be Christian-like like Pastor Lawrence mentioned and let you win by giving God the glory for my submission.

By now quite a crowd had emerged around and many laughed. I think I kind of stumped him now. But he continues to say how he will definitely get married before me and I just keep agreeing that he will and not denying the possibility along with the fact that I have so much more to do in life anyway before I even decide to settle down.

Then dear little Jonathan, comes up to me and whispers

"Don't worry Lav, you will get married first. No one will want to marry him anyway. You're a way better catch."

Haha. I love my boys. They always crack me up. Yes both Arun and Jon and everyone else who heard the drama.

Oh and really Arun, it's ok if you marry first. That might even be the case considering you already know who you want to marry. hahaha


lav closed her eyes and prayed @ 11:23 p.m.


Need a Friend?

Saturday, September 2, 2006


For those of you on Myspace (the US version of Friendster), you would get what this means.

To everyone else, doesn't this picture sum it all up?

Myspace Graphics
lav closed her eyes and prayed @ 01:25 a.m.


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