Temptation
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
01:09 a.m.I am such a sucker.
Sigh.
Again and again and again.
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Alcohol Solves Everything
Saturday, March 26, 2005
03:43 a.m.As part of relaxation regime this weekend, I decided to rewatch the entire 5th season of the Gilmore Girls. Yea, I know its not over yet but I decided to just watch the past 17 episodes again non stop, when one episode caught my attention.
Remember the one where Dean breaks up with Rory at her grandparent's Yale Alumni All-Boys party? And how Logan, Finn and Colin try to cheer her up after that? It was exactly like that night after DnD at Madam Wongs when Sham, Whiston and guys cheered me. Goes to show how wonderful good jokes, alcohol and good company can be.
Cuz I have not looked back since. Well, if I have not said this enough, thanks guys. You don't know how much that meant to me. :) Really gona miss you guys when you graduate.
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Ain't Yoked No More
Thursday, March 24, 2005
07:46 p.m.Reminder to self to always finish work on time and never consider the prospect of extension of datelines.
It just feels so good to have everything out of the way and have guilt-free rest. The trial today was cool- really hilarious, not very diplomatic but entirely fun. I suppose it is the only perk to this module considering how boring lectures have been. Guess it also helped to have such a fun group too. Haha
It is also amazing how much things you can do when there is no hall stuff to worry about. In an ordinary circumstance, this would have been an exponentially crazy week as I had the trial to prepare for, project meetings, legal brief, my horrendously difficult term paper for my Indian history module that I only discovered was due 4 days before submission etc. Not to mention that I am still very sleep deprived as I spent last weekend at a church leader's retreat instead of sleeping it away and resting like the rest of e main comm.
Well my break is finally here. Ok fine, technically after e ERC meeting at 10pm but still! 3 days of rest, relaxation and slumber. Shall only look at my books again on Monday. I deserve this break!
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In Need of a Catharsis
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
02:41 p.m.Suddenly its over.
Everything. All the pressure, all the worries, all the pain.
So DnD was a success. Photos are
here .
It just feels so strange to suddenly not have anything to worry about. Well there is still EHOC, but wow is this feeling of carefreeness strange.
Yea, so for once there is nothing else on my mind but school-so much assignments to do and much sleep to catch up on.
I am just a student. So virginally, its scary.
Everything is finally over. Sigh.
Even us.
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Swarmed!!
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
07:34 p.m.My 5 sec breather.
1...
2...
3...
4...
5...
Ok back to work!
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Gratitude
Friday, March 11, 2005
03:45 p.m.I love my friends.
Thanks Joe, Lorraine, SD, FY, Eric, Ying, Addie and Rach!! Don't know how I would be going through all this without you guys. :)
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The Valley of Death
Thursday, March 10, 2005
11:04 a.m.Sigh.
So much to say. So much to rant and rave about.
But I can't.
And I will not.
I am not a sore loser.
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Show Yourself!
Tuesday, March 8, 2005
10:16 a.m.Ok, this is it.
Own up whoever you are. Who wrote that dumb story?
Yea, it is really funny but seriously dude, it is scary.
Who are you?
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Work,Work,Work
Sunday, March 6, 2005
10:29 p.m.What is with all this work due?
4 essays and a presentation due all in the same week!! And all the Dinner and Dance stuff to complete. This is not crunch time. This is breaking point.
Focus Lav, focus. At least you have 3 neighbours in the exact same sinking boat as you. Too bad there are only 2 lifebouys. Where is mine? My sampan is sinking!!!
Story of my Life: Essays, Dinner and Dance, Meetings, Essays, Dinner and Dance, You, Meetings.
Ok back to the 2nd essay due this week. Ughh.
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Petition
Saturday, March 5, 2005
12:34 a.m.How can something be right in front of you but unreachable?
Lord I am so angry. So very angry. I can’t decide where my anger is directed at: myself, you or the situation. All I know is I am angry and so sad.
I just want to cry. Have you heard me calling? Have you heard the broken heart of your servant? She is collapsing. In fact collapsed and yet nothing has been done.
Every night I call out to you. But all I receive is the company of my tears and a fog of emotions that force me into drunken slumber. I don’t know why I am typing this but maybe God, you are on the internet. Cuz lately calling out doesn’t seem to work. So God if read this, will you please help me?
I know I always ask for help. Why can’t I be grateful with what I have? I am such an ingrate. I don’t deserve your mercy and love. Perhaps that is why you have cast me aside.
I am so angry and upset. Please Lord. Just come and fill my heart. I have come to realize my heart’s desire will never come to be and I was enticed by the devil’s lies. Help me see you Lord.
I need to survive this.
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Hurting
Friday, March 4, 2005
02:16 a.m.No, it's not ok.
I'm not that girl.
I'm not the one who cries and falls apart.
And calls her ex-boyfriend to come and save her.
-LG-
What have I turned into?
Except this time, it is not the ex but you.
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Convent Girls Unite
Sunday, February 27, 2005
07:20 p.m.Is my alma matter
hip or what?
Imagine a room full of former Convent girls. Lots of jabbering, excellent dancing and guaranteed good music cuz if the DJ even tries to get funny, he will promptly be privy to much too much whining and negotiating by a bevy of fast talking intelligent women. If that is not paradise, I don't know what is.
So all you IJ girls out there, do come down. I know its a little expensive but hey all in the name of fun ya?
Only CHIJ could come up with something as wild as this.
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Hello God? It's me.
Sunday, February 27, 2005
02:24 a.m.Don't you sometimes wish you had the direct number to God?
Yea, they say pray is that line but sometimes you just really need immediate answers.
Like why you are doing what you are doing.
Like why bad things seem to always happen to good people.
Like what he has in store for you.
Like why you feel all torn up and miserable when you know that you are doing the right thing.
Like if free will was just a cruel joke meant to make one's life miserable.
Like if he could just come down and give you a hug right now.
Or send a messenger pronto.
Like why his plans are always better for you but never truly make you happy in the short-term.
Like why.
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Everything Means Nothing
Friday, February 25, 2005
04:03 a.m.Why do I want it so bad?
I'm crazy.
Naj, upon reading this, please come over with some heavy utensil to smash me back to reality.
I think I really need to crashland now or risk even further damage.
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Coming of Age
Monday, February 21, 2005
01:20 a.m.21.
It's just a number right? Then why the fuss?
Within the past 2 months, I have been for 3 21st birthdays, all held with much fan fare and surprise (in the case of FY). And this year looks set for more as most of my friends are born around the middle of the year.
The 21st birthday party, was to me like any other party and carried no real substantial value. Yea, lots of my aunts and uncles had had such elaborate affairs but I thought hey, since when does my family give up an excuse for a party? Especially given the chronic chionging nature my entire family seems to possess.But now being on the brink of turning 21, it suddenly has occurred to me how important this year. For one, I can now stop deluding myself that I am young cuz I am not.
Whiston mentioned the other day that after 21, the years just zoom by and wham your suddenly 27. Then suddenly all the questions come-marriage, kids, career, home etc. You are not just an adult, you become your parents.
Now, is that scary or what?
By the time I finish this freaking bond, I will be 26. Goodness even knows if I will be married or on the path there even. Scary.
Well, perhaps the fact that it happened whilst at a good friend's party meant something. Oh Lord, I pray it is. Cuz Lav is really very tired with all these games. Can we just seal the contract soon?
Oh and Happy 21st Birthday Lizard. I really love how your mum seemed to be more of the birthday girl than you. Oh and that pretty bouquet! Lav now has scandalous pictures of Lizard with an adoring bevy of men.
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How I wish! Isn't she hot? And that taitai life is way appealing!
Friday, February 18, 2005
01:05 a.m.
Congratulations! You are Gabrielle Solis, the
ex-model with everything she's every wanted a
rich husband, a big house and John, the
17-year-old gardener.
Which Desperate Housewife are you? brought to you by Quizilla
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At Peace
Thursday, February 17, 2005
03:08 a.m.Ain't it amazing how soundly one sleeps when all your worries are lifted?
Or for that matter when there is someone to hold you while you sleep.
Cuz at that moment, all the world seems right. For once.
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Adrenaline High
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
10:43 p.m.Ever since DP bash, this has been the
MOST amazing day of my life.
Victory never tastes so sweet.
Thank you Lord. Even in my darkest hour, you shone the light.
Oh and Eusoff, we are
ALWAYS numero uno. They say nice guys never win. Well, honour will indeed honour us. A true winner never cheats and then, lies about it. There is no valour or gallantry in that-just pure cowardice.
Today is not just a new chapter in IHG history but DnD as well. Look out EHOC! Lav is on her way!
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Break? What Break?
Saturday, February 12, 2005
01:29 a.m.It was so surprising but everyone was actually in school today! Yea, so technically that is not supposed to be surprising but given that its Chinese New Year and an odd day of school in between the mid week break and the weekend, I just assumed that many would just skip school.
Actually, if I was back in IJ or CJ, I would have. And if my ONLY lesson for today had been some history lecture, I would have skipped it too. But, it was USP and I had to go. Not just for the intellectucal stimulation but for the fact that with only 30 people in the class and every person's name etched in the memory of Dr. Lo, I had to go. And well it was a lesson not to be missed!
It was so strange that at 10pm it was only Naj, FY and I in hall- all lonely and bored but by midnight, everyone (including Addie) was BACK!! Either we love school too much or we can't stand overbearing relatives. And I'm sure hoping its e former.
Hahha...my friends. The muggertoads. Ok back to my paper that is due in a few hours. :)
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Festive Rest
Wednesday, February 9, 2005
06:44 p.m.Its Chinese New Year and I'm at home gorging my face, sleeping and watching way too much television when I have assignments due on Fri and Sat. Well, at least its a holiday ain't it? But considering I have to go visiting tomorrow to my dad's client's places etc, I am probably gona be more tired on Friday than as well rested as I would like to be.
Maybe its the age factor that is making me all tired recently but I remember how I used to love CNY eventhough I never celebrated it. I always received lots and lots of
angpaos from the church aunties and uncles as well as my dad's client. Not to mention all the delicious food and goodies that they would tapau for us. It was perfect for me- all the goodies without the unnecessary hassle of buying new clothes, answering
kaypo questions by relatives about one's social life, having to be fluent in mandarin etc....Ahh..the joy of being a multiracial Singaporean!!
GS and AT always complain about CNY and their nosey relatives whom they only see only roughly 3 times annually at reunion dinner, birthday parties, weddings and funerals (that is if the latter two even happen that year). And each time they are forced to dish out salacious details on their life and more often than not are forced to listen to their aunt's depraved cries over their lack of a significant other or the lack of social standing of a significant other. It never fails to crack me up! But really, its moments like these that make me realise that even if you are Chinese, Indian, Malay or whatever, you will always be subject to such ludicrious questions.
Which was why I was pleasantly surprised that on C3, CNY was actively looked forward to instead of dreaded. Perhaps everyone was looking forward to the break and time with their families. Maybe cuz they had worthy answers to all the nosey questions posed to them or maybe their relatives were not like that? Perhaps.
Well for me, I was happy to have a break. And happy, that I for once am indeed happy.
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Temptations Galore
Wednesday, February 9, 2005
12:42 a.m.I need to go cold turkey.
It's the only way.
It's for the best- for all.
Determination.
But if it is supposed to be good, then why do I feel so bad inside?
Well, sacrifice is the word.
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Relationships
Monday, February 7, 2005
03:04 p.m.There are those that open you up to something new and exotic,
There are those that are old and familiar,
Those that bring up lots of questions,
Those that bring you somewhere unexpected,
Those that bring you far from where you started,
Those that bring you back.
But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself.
And if you find someone to love the you that you love,
Well, that is just fabolous!
Why does everything in life have to be so confusing?
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Just Need to Be Next To You
Friday, February 4, 2005
01:17 p.m.Too many decisions! Too much work!
But yet for once I am unfazed and going about with a smile. Strange huh?
I am so amazed at myself lately. I have tons of work to complete by CNY and I also have people hounding me about stuff to do during the holidays. I can't even plan till the end of this sem, let alone for the holidays!
Just take it as it comes I guess. Slowly but surely, the answers will come.
Like Kenneth said, everything in hindsight is always good, cuz you always tend to analyse it as to how much it shaped you as a person. Everything one goes thru in life helps shape them so all will be good.
You just need the patience and the determination.
You'll never see it coming
Cause you're blinded from the start
Know that you're that one for me
It's clear for everyone to see
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Why all the knowing looks?
Wednesday, February 2, 2005
12:09 p.m.You think?
Maybe?
Finally?
It has to be, rite?
It would be so great if it were true!
Why do I always question my gut feeling?
Well, there is only one way to be sure.
:)
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