Periodic Joy
Monday, May 31, 2004

11:30 p.m.

So suddenly I'm the revered eldest cousin.

Just got back from this really weird coming of age ceremony. Yes, you heard it right. This event commemorates the day one becomes a woman. Well, as you know my dad is Indian and his siblings are still Hindu and it is apparently a tradition to conduct some rites and stuff when a girl begins menstruating. By far, I find this the weirdest ceremony of all the traditional Indian customs. And unfortunately as the eldest of the gang on my dad's side, I had to be there to assist in the make up and the 5 costume changes. Yes, Lav complete with traditional garb had to help her poor embarassed 13yr old cousin deck herself in outrageous outfits and ornaments. Really, I felt so embarassed for the poor kid. Not to mention how all the menfolk seemed to crowd the corridors and refuse to come in due to some lame excuse of wanting 'fresh air'.

My sister and I are probably the only ones to escape this ceremony cuz my mum is blessed with the privilege of being Eurasian and baptizing all of us in the Holy Spirit, thus severing all Hindu ties. Nevertheless, we feel their pain. Sitting on a dias and facing the whole world to parade the fact that all men can f*** her and impregnate her is by far the worst triumph to boot.

I will never understand what glory the Indians see in this. Yes, this ceremony used to intrigue me, but once the initial novelty wears off and you have been for like 5 of these things, you can't help but feel sorry for the poor child. Not to say tt I didn't have any fun tonite but seriously all joy here is sadistic. Grannie says this ceremony is mandatory to dispell evil spirits and what can I say agst her? Firstly, I'm linguistically challenged in Tamil and secondly, she loves throwing functions like this. It is like her pride and joy or smth. She even called up 3 days in advance to make sure my sister and I had appropriate attire or she will sew one for us. Gosh, my poor mum. Wonder if she knew what she was getting herself into when she said "I do" to my dad. Note to self will now be to NOT marry an Indian guy. That will save me all this hassle..seriously...

Pray tell...
Monday, May 31, 2004

01:13 a.m.

Reminder to self to ask you what's going on. It is amazing how despite all these years of friendship, I feel tt everytime we meet, there is something you wana tell me but never do. Call it instinct or smth but even today as I held your hand, I could feel you wanting to say it again. Since when did we have secrets anyway? Lav can handle it. Don't worry. Just say it. Pls?

aWAKEning
Sunday, May 30, 2004

09:24 p.m.

Ever been to a funeral wake where everyone is smiling?


I guess that is what happens when you pass away at a ripe old age of 77. Despite the fact tt the death was sudden, everyone realises that the person has outlived her prime. It is not tt she was disliked anything...in fact she was a very caring grannie..but I think Christian funerals are increasingly become more light hearted as we realise tt the deceased is going to a better place to meet their maker. Coming to think of it, I remember distinctly how we were actually laughing and joking at Ah ma's funeral 2 yrs ago too. Sam, Jem and I could actually look at her corpse in the coffin and recall pleasant memories without tears. For the record, Ah Ma was Sam and Jem's paternal grandma and a distant relative to me but was always a grandma to one and all. Remember how she would always scold us for not eating even when we had eaten so much!!haha

I have yet to loose any of my grandparents and I'm so grateful for tt. I can't imagine life without them at all. I've always wanted to do them proud but I seriously doubt I can fulfill their unanimous request to see me tie the knot before they pass on. My apologies in advance to both sets of my grandparents but I seriously doubt I will EVEN have that day. Nevertheless I'll do you proud without any tears though!

I think that is how I want my funeral wake to be. No tears, just happy memories and smiles:- to see my family and friends unite to celebrate the good life I led and will continue to find in eternal rest with my Father. Yes, that shall be my last wishes.hahha..

Hot Pink Flurry or Fury?
Saturday, May 29, 2004

11:39 a.m.

Talk about a totally spontaneous day! I was supposed to do this Garnier roadshow for a friend at 1pm but then it was postponed to 2pm. Coincidentally, this gave me the chance to see Glorya one last time before she flew off to Australia for good in the afternoon. Then, I made my way down to town for the promotion thing together with FY who was meeting SD. So like after intense badgering by my head on the phone for being 10mins late (so sue me if the bus is late), I'm told upon arrival tt the head forgot to bring the required attire for me to wear, leaving me suddenly free for the whole day.

Yea, so accidents happen but I'm freaking pissed. Firstly, I only spent 45mins with Glorya cuz I had to rush down for this blasted job. Dammit, my friend is leaving S'pore for good and 45mins cannot sum up everything! Furthermore, I received news earlier in the morning that my friend's grandma passed away. We have been close family friends for years and he had ALWAYS been there for me and now I couldn't be there cuz I had made a promise to someone else. Thirdly, I don't know if I can help again cuz I have other innane things to do on the coming Saturdays. Gosh, I'm still EXTREMELY cheesed off despite all that 8hrs of retail theraphy.

Here is a big THANK YOU to SD, FY and Addie who were coincidentally in town and included me in their retail extravaganza. You guys really helped soothe my irritation. I'm really so sick and tired of being so understanding to everyone. I'm not a push over dammit. Maybe you haven't seen me blow so you don't realise how deep my scorn can go.

Ah well, the day was not wasted anyway. Bought 2 HOT PINK tops! SD too! We should all wear it together one day and scare the guys!! hahaha..It was super fun chilling with the girls and doing what we do best: shop, eat, talk! hahaa.. though most time was spent trying to persuade me to do SOMETHING else...hhaha..

Still a good ending to a totally weird day. Made plans to be with S for the most part of tmr to deal with his loss. I'm no longer seething but the irritation still lingers. Oh well, cest la vie! She's my head anyway. Channeling my frustration towards her would be suicide.

Can I? Well, maybe I can!
Friday, May 28, 2004

11:07 p.m.

How can you see something fall right in front of you and not do anything to pick it up?


Please don't use the guilt trip on me. It may work for one night but then I could only come out hating it more. Yea, so you know I won't be able to live with the guilt if it really does fail but seriously I'm getting pretty sick of doing things out of responsibility.

Like he said, we can't be altruistic. Perhaps,its time for me to listen to his advice for once and not be altruistic. Yes, I DO have my own mind but he could be right. It's not tt I hate doing it but I really don't want to be pushed into a rut and made to do the same thing time and time again. I'm human and need change! Of all people, I'm the one who needs it most, considering how bored I can become.

It was such a long nite and I really don't want to disappoint anyone. But maybe..just maybe...its time for me to do what I want. Unfortunately it is not going to be easy, given the dire situation you are in.

Damn, why do I feel like I'm not going to get what I want out of this?

.....and the groove is back!
Friday, May 28, 2004

01:10 a.m.

The literary appreciation streak is back! Watched Beatrice Chia's "East Side Story" today as a friend was acting in it. I managed to decode her intentions even before Kok Siew explained it! I even foiled The Straits Times review tt claimed the show had gay inclinations. Woohoo! The S lit student is back!!

Do try to catch this play before it ends its run in 2 weeks. It has excellent modern dance chereography and acrobatics. Not too heavily arty-farty either. A good show for beginners to the arts scene. Ah well, Ballet under the Stars is coming in a week. Can't wait! There is just something soothing about ballet I tell you. Anyone interested in going?

Careless Whisper
Wednesday, May 26, 2004

10:52 p.m.

Catching up with Shawn was fab man. Just like old times. The 2 old foggies sharing their thoughts on the fellow lame brains...hahaha..Thanks for the laughs dude as well as e SURPRISE revelation. Still can't believe you didn't tell me earlier! Yea..so maybe I knew a bit but you could have at least told me officially! I think we owe tt much to our nearly decade old friendship.

Given I'm a little old fashioned and slow in this way, here is an alert to all, to please tell me officially if you like someone or are dating someone or hate someone or whatever. Yes, even if it concerns me, pray do tell. Lav may seem very up and about but really I can be so slow sometimes. Well as I was telling Naj, I like to be told about something and not be given to open assumption. Stops all that what-ifing crap when the tangible is made known.

So next time, do inform me if you think we are friends or losers or in a relationship. I don't like to guess, as chances are tt I will just feign ignorance. Do note tt this does not translate to disagreement. I could jolly well agree with you. Just ask or say dammit!

What If.......?
Wednesday, May 26, 2004

12:37 a.m.

"This could be a totally innocent situation. What if we have done all this what-ifing for nothing?"
-Lorelai Gilmore-

Yeah so I'm always 'what-ifing'...What is the big deal? Goes to show I analyse and think objectively right?

Met up with Grace today. Finally after like months, we both managed to find an available time slot to meet each other. It was just like old times- talking about the fellow lost causes, ranting abt this terrible academic life and blah blah..Felt good to have a super high energy hilarious conversation with a fellow IJian again. Never knew how soft and quiet girls can be till NUS. What happened to spunk and energy? Guess that is why no one ever mistakes me for not being an IJ gal...

Interestingly, life reared it ironic head again today. Grace was practically shouting at me to wake up and stop what ifing, then I came home to watch the final 5 episodes of the 4th season of Gilmore Girls and only to find Lorelai making the same comment abt herself...crap.. I guess shez right. Need to stop what ifing abt the choices I made in or am gona make. Had to explain to Grace why the heck I was in Arts and not Law all over again. I swear I shld just print a phamplet to explain my current academic status and give it to everyone I have not met in a long time or meeting for e first. Yea..tt was why she gaf me the "quit the what-ifs" talk along with "what do u mean mr v is over?" (read: JC Mr V)

Yes Grace, I did graduate from JC 2 yrs ago and no it didn't happen. So sorry to disappoint you. Knew you loved him along with the whole world. Too bad I didn't see it. So no more what ifing! See I'm actually taking your legal advice! (yes, god save us all but she is a lawyer or soon to be at least)

Couch Potato
Monday, May 24, 2004

09:42 p.m.

Ok so I'm a self-confessed TV addict. I just watched the entire season of Friends Season 10 for the second time and Everwood for the first. I suppose this is what holidays are about: catching up on TV so I can go on abstinence from it during term time. I guess that is one of the demerits of living in hall. You are always so busy with meetings or friends that you forget to catch your fav shows. Good and bad i guess.

Never really realised how much TV I watched till I realised the amount of series I've been downloading to watch...e.g. Friends, Smallville, Everwood, Gilmore Girls, Charmed, 7th Heaven, The OC...you name, I prob have watched it.

So yes, I love watching teenage dramas. I guess it makes up for all the non-excitement in my life. Or maybe like ML, I watch it for the lookers. I seriously doubt it though. While everyone gushes abt how cute Clarke is in Smallville or Joey is in Friends, I'm drawn to the weirdest of characters. I think Lex is intriguing in Smallville despite the fact tt he is supposed to be the anti-hero (read villain in literary terms). I love Emily Gilmore in the latter named series. Yes, she is the sharp tongued condescending mother tt everyone is disgusted at but I simply just LOVE her acid tongue. One day I shall possess such wit and class!! and yes I think Rory is pathetic..yeah yeah shez cute but really is there anything else behind the sugarcoatedness and bookish tendencies?

So they say The OC is all about beautiful people making out, but seriously I seem to find the show way more poignant in the way it brings up subtle issues like shallow marriages and mercenary women like Julie Cooper and bimbos like Summer. Seriously, I actually think the show teaches a moral or two...though Aunty SL begs to differ. hahha Quite frankly, I don't understand this revolution Marisa Cooper has on people. She is just like any normal gal with aneroxic tendencies and brilliant Bobbi Brown makeup. Sandy reminds me of Uncle BH alot manz..esp with his antics. Too bad one is a lawyer and the other a pastor. I think Seth has the most brilliant mind ever and his jokes r way funny. Too bad just like any hot blooded male, he HAS to have the dumbest hot babe as his Archiles's heel. Why can't Seth's character actually be existent in S'pore? but then again the answer is self explanatory. *sigh*

I live in tinsel town fantasy. Ephram from Everwood has a distinct depth I have yet to see in any Singaporean male. Yes, he is a tad too sullen but have you seen him smile and play the piano? My sister was saying today how I'm always impressed by the alternative character and not the central protaganist. Damn..I guess that's why I'm so picky. Trying my best to not be mainstream in the most linear of societies. Fat hope Lav! Your just as ordinary as the girl next to you. You are actually impressed by a certain someone's BMW and you still only wear what's in style. Crap wherez the uniqueness? ughh I have become Singaporean...heck I probably always was..just in denial as Mifi says..



"And you wonder why some things happen and some things don't. Then you begin to wonder why you hope at all when it all begins to fail." -Everwood-

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