Nothingness
Friday, June 23, 2006
Friday, June 23, 2006
When Steven told me last week that I seemed to have everything going for me and that I had achieved so much in life, I could not help but disagree. What I had or did was nothing and if anything was achieved by the grace of God and his divine mercy and magnanimousness.
And in all actuality, I have never ever once thought that I was smart, pretty, learned or successful. But for once after speaking to Steven, I thought hey maybe he is right. I am a little bit more blessed in some areas of my life than other people are, and wondered why I find it so hard to accept.
But today the answer became clear to me.
Because my parents never fail to remind me that I really have achieved nothing and still have so much more to do in life to even become something. Not to mention the constant reminder of my imminent arrogance, ungratefulness and every other vice in the book. And perhaps just perhaps that has become so ingrained in me, I sometimes do believe that I am nothing.
And maybe that is all I ever will believe.
Birthday Wish List
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Thursday, June 22, 2006
I doubt I have really come up with a wish list for anything but I thought just maybe I could indulge and for once actually want to want something even if I know that I could probably buy it for myself later on.
I suppose that is the thing about me. I always end up buying the things that I want for myself that people don't usually know what to get me so they end up buying me the innane like accessories, makeup and other typically 'female' products that they assume that all girls use and need.
But it is precisely that fact that to me makes those presents that much less valuable. It is completely utilitarian and if anything is just something they probably do out of obligation. For me, whenever I buy a present for someone or for that matter consider making something for someone, the first thing that comes to mind is that it needs to be something the person would definitely use not just could probably find some use for. There's a big difference there. It should also be something they had been raving about or for that matter would definitely like if they saw it.
This is why when I fail to buy a present for a friend that falls short of the above characteristics, I am quick to apologise profusely, though that fact is often not noticed by many. Strange isn't it that no matter how much you give to people, they never seem able to reciprocate.
So anyway enough whining and here is the wish list looks something like this:
1. Ipod Nano Case
2. Rock and Republic Jeans
3. COACH's LEGACY COTTON SIGNATURE HOBO handbag 4. A truly posh and refined evening of being wined and dined
5. A new phone though I can't seem to decide which model I like best.
aha but like the list states, its a wish and probably won't be granted but oh well.
Yellowwwwww!!!
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Have you guys seen this????
COLDPLAY IS COMING TO SINGAPORE ON 10th JULY!!!
and there are still tickets!!
Who wants to go?? Come on please? Only $118 and $148 tickets available but they are pretty good seats!!!
Go check it out here .
The Intern
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Blogging from work. haha
Yes, you heard right. Lavinia is working. She is actually working by choice for the first time during her summer holidays. Its an internship with MCYS which by the way for those of you who do not know is the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sport. I have been sent out to this NGO called Heartware Network, where I am helping them manage their activites with Youth at Risk in secondary schools and volunteer organizations.
As big as that sounds, it really amounts to just 2hours of work daily and lots of hours of surfing the net, slacking, eating and sitting in front of the Dell laptop that I have been assigned to for the rest of this internship. haha crazy eh? So much for the plans to gain insight into the inner workings of social policy planning. ahha
But oh well, who am I to complain? They pay me pittance, I do pittance. Sounds like a fair trade to me. haha and what more it looks darn blardie good on a resume or for that matter an application to do Masters in social policy so woohoo to 7 more weeks of freezing my brains out in this cold cold office above Junction 8, extended lunch breaks that double up as shopping sprees. haha
I am so horrible.
Wedding Bells.....far away!
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Some people say weddings put them in a mood for romance.
Others say that weddings remind them of a hope..of a future that will one day come.
Others even say that it makes them want to fast-forward to their wedding day.
And true to these axioms, I have once in a while at weddings felt one of those emotions or all of them simultaneously. But at Terrence's wedding yesterday, it wasn't a case of excitement or starry eyed wonder, but more of a true realisation that I am not ready to be married at all and a wedding is really something I cannot imagine for the next five years at least. In fact,I found myself laughing and at times even guffawing at the pronounced romance or in my opinion, tremendous cliches, at the wedding. Strange eh?
Perhaps a wedding or being hitched is something I one day want. But really once the white dress and the pretty flowers fade away, all we are left with is just commitment, bills and lots and lots of work. Now why would I want to rush into something like that? And given how I no longer believe in the notion of romance being alive in Singapore, there is definitely no more incentive to be married or for that matter in a relationship.
Okok I hear you idealists out there... time-out on the pragmatism and jadedness. Well until then...kudos to my dear friend Terrence to finding his soul mate. Cheers to a life with Sharon that will be full of bliss and love forever! :)
Exchanging Vows
Chye (the best man), Pastor Neo and Terrence's dad
Making It Official
We are married! Mr and Mrs Quah! Now he has to kiss me!
Karoeking it out for Sharon
Rose Amongst the Thorns
The Girls
The Youth with the Boss and his new wife
I'm Alive
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Well so this blog has been dormant for almost 2 weeks that people began asking me if I was even permanently stopping blogging. hahaha
Guess I've just been swarmed with church, friends and various other events that blogging at the end of a long day was really not as attractive as it used to be. Sometimes, I truly have alot to say or for that matter reflect upon in a way only words could deem fit. However, when I sit in front of my laptop and commence typing, only meaningless words that can carry no true meaning emerge. I've never been in the habit of simply doing a photolog of camwhoring myself on my blog so that was definitely not an option for me. As much as possible, I've always tried to refrain from a laundry list method of listing the going ons of my life so in the end, all that ended up on this blog was blank space.
By extension, that did not reflect what was going on in my life but maybe it reflected what was in my mind...nothing. And really I think thatz a good thing because its the holidays and given the 4months my mind is succumbbed to being on overdrive during school term, nothingness in my mind is a welcome change.
So well then, letz backtrack as to the festivities and events that have dotted my schedule this month. So last week was filled with running from lunch date to dinner meeting to church for youth camp comm matters, that my mum even began to wonder if I was even on holiday. Then came youth camp this week, which only ended on Thursday, of which I promptly ran off for tuition in the evening. Even Friday was not a day of rest as I rushed from doing errands to visiting my grandaunt and then going to IKEA with the family. Saturday of course, was the climax with Terrence's wedding and Venky's bday party. Crazy eh?
And I can totally imagine what today is going to be like. Here's a hint: Rest is not included.
A Month On...
Sunday, June 4, 2006
Sunday, June 4, 2006
So it has been perhaps one month since my holidays began with the end of my last exam on May 2nd at precisely 7pm. So by usual measure, I would have been bored to death of holidays by now, and been all up and ready about going back to school or taking on a new task. But surprise, surprise, lazy Lav could not want to do more than slack.
Ok well to be fair, I barely slacked off for this one month of which I spent 17 days in India, a few days cleaning, many days planning youth camp and in between all that was a smattering of outings, movies and other recreational activities. Truth be told, I can only distinctly remember one day of absolutely doing nothing at all and lazing in front of my tv.
So then the question now remains if I should take this internship or for that matter, if I should do an ISM and perhaps start maybe seriously researching a thesis topic?
Sigh. But that in itself is too much work to think about. So let's just live and let live and enjoy what remains of my last shot at school holidays.
After all, they are called holidays for a reason.
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