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Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com




The only thing I seem near is Loony Bin Lane and tt is cuz I live there!!!

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Blood is Thicker than Water

Sunday, June 27, 2004

08:16 p.m.

I don't understand. I never considered myself much of a family person, but suddenly I think I am. Gosh are my maternal instincts setting in?? This is disturbing!

Almost my whole secondary school life was spent with my friends and evading every possible family meeting on the paternal side. Weekly lunch/dinner was always forsaken as I busied myself with church and youth group stuff. Family functions saw me politely nodding and greeting my elders while sitting at a corner SMSing someone or gone for a long walk around the premises. Yes, I was always close to my parents and sisters but the extended family?

Then suddenly everything changed. Like in Sec 4 or early JC 1. I was suddenly at every family dinner and function. I changed from revered and cold eldest cousin to crazy talkative Lav. It was like I was sick and tired of pretending to be someone I was not. In school I was bubbling with energy but at family gatherings, I would park myself in front of the tv with a few like minded cousins. Maybe he caused the change. Maybe when I experienced the biggest humbling experience of my life at around the end of Sec 4, the family rose in priorities.

Now, Sundays feel odd without my grannie's famous afternoon tea, banana fritters and surprise dishes, Carwashes have robbed me of my main 2 life lines: church and family. As ridiculous as it sounds, it upsets me. TREMENDOUSLY! Even if all my cousins and I do is play cards, talk crap and sneak a beer arnd, it matters to me. SJ remarked how my family seemed so big and united and that comment actually caught me my surprise. I never considered my family big (though I have 24 cousins paternally alone) or united especially if you compared them to Jem's family. It was probably when an outsider voices such opinions tt you realise what you actually have.

So what caused this reflection you ask? Twas probably the fact that I had to miss a night out with 2 of my fav cousins cuz of Serene's concert and Mel's bday. I actually felt damn freaking bad and contemplated almost 5 times to take a cab to meet them at MS. *sigh* and I would have if not for the Zouk fiasco along with the fact that my dad needed me to help him in his roadshow today and my constant elusiveness lately was not helping our relationship. When Rubi called to wish me happy b'day, I was so surprised. She never did that before. Hearing her call me akka and confide in me actually made me smile. As bimbo as the Chopstick sisters are, I can't help but feel for them and indulge them whenever possible. The cousins are changing me and the aunts and uncles are only faciliating it. I miss running over to my grannie's place whenever I was hungry or helping her bake cookies for no particular reason but just out of sheer boredom. Do you know that she would always exactly know what I want even before I ask for it? Every weekend she calls my mum to ask when I'm coming home and seeing if I had mentioned any cuisine I craved for and voila it would appear in my fridge or at family dinner! I miss talking to my dad about life, grimacing with my mum over idiosyncarcies and gossiping with my sister. Can you believe that even in hall, I can't sleep without talking to my mum every night? Even b4 I chiong, I'll call her to check in on stuff. I'd probably call my grannie too if I was not that poor in Tamil. I probably don't look it but I miss and love my family. Makes me glad that staying in hall made me realise this even if it exacerbates the distance. Next time, I want a big united family too. Wonder if I will ever even get a chance to create one. :(

Had an awesome day with the cousins and grandparents at this car carnival in Marina. I miss Sunday being family day. *sigh* Only 2 more carwashes. Lav, you can do it! Oh and btw, watch out for further updates on the post-menstrual celebration I was talking about. Another cousin has fallen victim to the curse and awaits her trial in Aug. This time I've promised to stand in defence and so it shall be!

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Jubilation

Saturday, June 26, 2004

12:55 a.m.

I’m high.

Unspeakably, untamed and wildly sky high.


It’s the feeling that starts in the pits of your stomach and avalanches out to seize your whole mind, body and soul.


F***ing exhilarating.


Truth be told only a rare few hit this moment in their lives and I’m so glad I did. When you can just lie on your bed and smile yourself to sleep, you know God is good and it is gona be alright. Fortunately or unfortunately my life is not perfect. It actually has more glitches than gold but I have overcome. I have reached the state when satisfaction comes at a small price. No more wishing for have-nots and lack luster delights.

It has been a whirlwind week. Ubin was amazing. Despite the heat, intolerable grime, beasts of the most ravenous nature, lack of clean water and the poor sanitation, it was the best adventure I ever had in Singapore. Yes, the island is quite boring. I miraculously sustained only 3 mosquito bites of which one came in e form of a water bubble that has recently burst for those who r interested. Rest assured, life still prevails and Lav is unscathed. There is nothing about the camp I would want to take back or redo if I could cuz it was just perfect. It was a Walk to Remember and even the most unexpected partner turned out to be a real gem. Guess, ZC can be a camp genius after all. Well as Lorr said, EHOC has been amazing and there is nothing I would want take back about it. Nothing at all. Ubin said it all. Maomao was right. EHOC binds.

Oh and yes, the birthday just totally fell into place. The IJ fwens on Wed, Hall peeps on Thurs, family on Fri and the CJ peeps on……. (date set is still unfathomable, just like the group). And the celebrations are still rocking on as some ungroupable friends (read: pple I met and still talk to for some strange reason) have decided Sat is gona be party zone. As if the Hall peeps didn’t make me drink enough with all the Carlsberg and beer chugging. It was like 17 all over again but this time I was immaculately sober despite the awesome Wala Wala music.

But I think the best thing about the birthday was the number of unexpected surprises that awaited me. It was shock after shock from the hilarious Pandan Cake at Ubin to the torrid affair my student is having with my cousin to the friend who sang me to tears to the bomb that Lynn revealed to the smelly cans I washed or maybe it was just him. So many things happened in 24hrs and I don’t even know where to begin. Even my ex-students remembered and that alone singled-handedly made me cry. It has been unforgettable and I would like to give a big THANK YOU to all who so graciously made this birthday so remarkable. Too bad I didn’t manage the break the 16th bday record of cutting 7 cakes. Only managed 5 this time.

Gosh I’m still high..so freaking high..thank you Lord. Thank you. I don’t think I give you as much credit as you deserve sometimes. So here goes: Cheers to the man who made it all happen.


Amen! And I’ll drink to that.

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The Ties tt Bind

Sunday, June 20, 2004

08:41 p.m.

Blogging at my grannie's place. All the kids went down to the playground. The girls are gossiping in the corner about some random guy I rather not know about. Overprotective cousins are not around. Aunts are gathered in the kitchen and rooms talking about our scholastic pursuits or smth. Will probably get the low down from the mother later in the car. She is always brimming with news unlike my dad who's watching soccer with the uncles. Typical family scenario but seeing this weekly gathering gives me peace and equilibrium in my life. All is well in family land at least.

Father was slightly upset that I didn't tell him days in advance about the Ubin trip. I think my parents think I'm cutting them out of my life but that is far from the truth. If anything, I appreciate them so much now that I live away from home most of the time. I miss bitching to my mum at the end of everyday about pple. I miss having philosophical debates with my dad about the screwed up country we live in. I terribly yearn for those girl bonding sessions Sharmaine and I used to have every night but most of all I miss not being there to see Claudia everyday. I really miss home.

I can see that my mum still wants me to be her lil gal who tells her everything. She missed not knowing my university friends in the way she used to know most of my secondary and JC friends. My dad worries each day that someone has snatched me away from being daddy's little girl. Sharmaine always calls me so many times in a day to complain about smth. I miss being there but I'm so glad that you have always tried to make sure that I'm included in everything. Mum calls me every night to talk even if it is to bitch about the maid or tell me about how some uncle is having an affair. Dad thinks money will bring me back home but I need to do this. I need to live apart for a while and find myself alone while being in the lieu with home. I'm sorry if it seems like I'm letting this family take 2nd priority.

Sometimes I get so used to just going out and doing things on my own at hall that I forget that I still need to tell you guys some things. Thank you for always being there for me. I really don't know what I would do without this family. *forever grateful* Sometimes you only know what you're missing when someone reminds you of what you have. A certain friend was sharing lately regarding parental issues. Just made me stop and ponder on how I take my family for granted at times. Like how the all the maids since my first one left 2 yrs ago have been giving my mum hell and how I've not even been around to lend a helping hand. Really gets me down. They even tried pulling the "your grades are slipping" card with me but it didn't work. I'm just glad they are always here for me and I will always be here for them. What an apt realisation given it's Father's Day.

I actually rushed back home after the carwash was cut short just to spend Father's Day at home. Initially just planned to call it a day in hall after the charity event. Guess the ties really DO bind.

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Innocence Violated

Sunday, June 20, 2004

04:02 p.m.

I've been saboed!! What the heck man!! I'm like such a nice person k and u guys still bully me!!! NO FAIR!

For all you innocent non-Eusoffian orientation programmers, the reason for my outrage is due to the fact that my wonderful friends and neighbours in the programme team have unanimously saboed me to emcee a few orientation programs. I didn't even know until Rachel accidentally let it slip the other day. They didn't even ask my permission! And for some strange reason they think I can do it!! What the heck?? You guys have never even seen me on stage before! Are you sure you know what you're getting yourself into?? haha

My dear Jer didn't even tell me and she lives right next to me. She was the one who proposed me and apparently all 13 of them found me perfect. Wait till you guys hear the reasons these peeps gave in wanting me. I suppose I should be glad to have such a rounding support as compared to Adrian...but what the heck!!!!?? SJ and SD, I really thought you guys would stand up for me but the reverse seems to have occured!! Why not Hz or XW or smth? Of all people me and him!! I don't know if you guys believe in us too much or just find joy in our misery! Just watch out programmers. Your flag routes are under my control! HAHAHHAAHHA *evil laugh*

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Friday Blues

Friday, June 18, 2004

09:47 p.m.

*sigh* The lappie is screwed again. I tried to install smth last nite so I needed a Windows XP CD and ZW was so kind to lend me his. Unfortunately, it is pirated copy and now I can't log on to the net anymore...ughh..I knew my good luck with my lappie was too good to last. Oh well..

Finally finished all the international freshman applications. We had 50 late entries and only 9 spots to fill. *sigh* and these were the good ones some more. Too bad we can't retract some of the losers we had to take in to fill the space during the 1st round. Just when you need OSA to be inefficient, they decide to clean up their act.

Oh yes, I must say that I'm convinced now that Temasek is a really weird hall. If you were there hearing them air their selection criteria so loudly, you too would thank your lucky stars for being anywhere but there. Here's an excerpt from their conversation.

Pres: Wah, she is damn chio!
Culture Sec: Where got? Look innocent but not tt chio.
VP: Didn't know Indos can look so hot!
(Pls note that all we can see is the face. How can you define hot by one's face?)
Culture Sec: So what does she do?
Pres: Alamak, she never write much! Just Chinese orchestra.
Culture Sec: That's all. Such a waste for a pretty face.
Pres: Nvm, we still take her.
Secretary: But is she worth it?
Pres: Nvm, chio can already.
Culture Sec: Maybe, we can restart the Chinese orchestra!
(Lav chooses this moment to guffaw at the farcical fact that one person can restart an entire musical group)
Sec: But this guy is better than her. He is in badminton.
(They then discuss and decide to give her up to Sheares instead. Then they bicker again and the VP goes..)
VP: (who is a guy) but this guy is not cute leh. How?
Pres: Ok done. We take the gal. Damn chio sia.
(They then go over to Sheares and retrieve back the discarded girl.)

He then proceeds to show everyone in the room her picture. She is admittedly sweet looking but no way chio or hot. Do note that this entire conversation was enacted in loud shrill voices.


Tara, I am so glad you made me choose EH. Forever grateful babe. Rest assured, this new batch of freshmen are careful selected. They not only look good but have apt credentials.

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The Jinx

Thursday, June 17, 2004

11:28 p.m.

ZC and I cannot be in the same room together. It is impossible. We are always bickering and accusing the other of making a mistake. Though all teasing is done in jest, we never seem to be able to stop. For the benefit of those who are unaware of ZC's "suai kia" status, please be enlightened that he is majorly unlucky. Thus when betting on soccer etc, just bet opposite of what he suggests and you will be sure to win. It has been tried and tested. Anyway due to the fact that my surname has the initials S.K., everyone now groups us together - he the "suai kia" and I'm the lucky one who balances his bad luck. Just yesterday, we kept arguing all the way in the lorry about who reads maps better. Naturally yours truly won but will this guy admit defeat?? NOOooooOOooOO! Don't worry dude, we still love you! I still have put up with you tmr at canvassing. Poor Angela!

Plans for tonight were cancelled at the last minute. I was supposed to meet some friends at a pub in Holland V but got postponed at the last minute cuz everyone was just too tired from work. Ended up having dinner with Lorr,Addie,Mario,Eric and Han. Also didn't end up going clubbing to celebrate my cousin's bday which I nearly forgot if his friends has not msged me. I did not want to risk the Saturday night fiasco again and let him have a super guy nite! But in a twist of events, smth brightened up my otherwise boring night with my laptop and SATC. Though it was short, it made me smile ear to ear. Super happy. *lalalalalalalala*

Oh and Bendi is the proud mother of 3 kittens!! Congrats!! :)

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Birthday Bash

Thursday, June 17, 2004

01:29 a.m.

It's official. The birthday bash this year is gonna be at Wala Wala. So consider this an open invitation to all to come to Wala Wala next Thursday to join in the festivities of me leaving teenhood. I will try my best to extend this invitation to one and all but if I fail to see you online or am busy, please do turn up nonetheless. This party is for one and all. For more details, contact me.

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Choice of Choice?

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

08:25 p.m.

How often have you complained that life has dealt you a poor choice of cards?

I think everyone of us is guilty of such a complaint. We always rail about how unlucky,poor,stupid,ugly etc. we are. It is almost as if nothing can please us (which technically is true as wants are infinite). But do we realise that as we sit there complaining about our poor luck or lack of good looks or even something as innane as the hot weather, we are wasting the chance to do something about the situation?

Seriously, by sitting there and wallowing in self pity, you ARE exercising a choice: the choice to not choose. We are choosing to be obstinate, inactive and full-fletched slobs. In actuality, our inactivity is rarely a direct result of our helplessness but a manifestation of our self-pity and vacous childishness.

I've been doing alot of thinking lately. Pondering about the past, present and future and I realised something. Despite being the assertive independent gal I tout myself to be, many times in my life, I have chosen to be a helpless damsel in distress (how ironic!). I've chosen to remain obstinately inactive while vocally displaying my displeasure. I have rarely or in fact never gone after what I wanted in my life. I just assumed that it would come my way if it was meant to. I hid behind an unknown faith and an ominescient God to be my be all and end all. Yes, he always provided but it was the things that I set my mind to that I achieved with his blessings.

There is only one thing I ever recalling going after in life that I did eventually receive. Coupled with much divine intervention, I gave it as much as my lazy bones could, and now, I stand a proud undergraduate as testimony of my faith and action. That is why I often say that I am not intelligent - just blessed by my Father. He has always helped and complacent me has come to assume that God will help me anytime. All I had to do was cry out. What I forgot is that I need to try as well.

I'm sure that many of you have heard me say that "there is nothing I can do" whenever I feel that I am in a particularly 'helpless' situation in my life. Well, truth be told that I do have a choice! The choice to ACT ON IT and to pray for the Lord's will to be done. I can't keep assuming that everything that doesn't happen is cuz it is not in God's plan. If I never tried for a scholarship, I would have never got it. If I never try with you, I'm never going to get you. But what's holding me back? Fear? Pride? I don't know.

I'm in no lack of choice. I have too many choices and that is just cuz I'm looking for more reasons to change my mind when I already know the truth deep inside. Why am I complicating life by thinking so much? Why?

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Oral Revelation

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

11:23 p.m.

According Kevin Lim, oral sex can lead to cancer of the mouth. Upon much vigorous debate after a failed carwash at East Coast on Sunday, he refused to admit defeat and returned to review tons of medical journals to prove us wrong. Evidently, oral sex does lead to mouth cancer..though patterns have been predominantly spotted only in smokers and drinkers. So that clears it. I should remain relatively healthy even if I partake in this punishable act since I am victim of neither vice...simple a social drinker unlike some people I know. Yes, this act is still illegal unless ensued by consensual sex.

I would like to extend my heartfelt apologies to Kevin for all that teasing Christina, Janus and I did about your gf concoting that farcical myth to protect herself. Though the evidence is unable to convince beyond reasonable doubt, it is provable in certain exceptional cases. Rest assured that I have learnt my lesson and shall be sure to spread the word to one and all.

MORAL OF THE STORY: You can get out of ANYTHING by faking links to terminal illnesses. Just Google it to find circumstantial evidence. There are alot of liars out there waiting to be discovered.

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EHOC begins again.

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

12:32 a.m.

.....and I'm actually enjoying it. Just had this amazing bonding session with some of the flaggers over sushi buffet. Yes, my third sushi buffet in 1 month..hahah..

I think I'm actually enjoying this life. Doing hall stuff, chilling with my friends and spending lots of $$$! I'm so tired out..but I'm actually laughing and smiling so much more. Guess I don't regret joining after all.

It's good to see things suddenly work out for a change. No more just aimless drifting. There is just so much more focus and drive. Only one more thing could make this more perfect but it would never happen cuz life is supposed to be imperfect. Maybe the cousin is right. He does know what's best for me after all.

Anyway here are snapshots of our high-energied dinner and long long walk along the S'pore river.

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Serendipity

Sunday, June 13, 2004

10:02 p.m.

The benefit of being the only girl when clubbing with 5 guys is that none of the other guys in the clubs will try to make a move on you as they think that one of the guys you are with must be your bf. This must be the best realisation I have ever made since I first started clubbing 5yrs ago. hahha..but things weren't as rosy the whole night.The disbenefit of being the only girl however is that one of the guys you're with is bound to try instead. Well thank heavens 2 of them were my cousins. Yeah, it was some offbeat family bonding thing - the only 3 normal people in the family enjoying themselves.

What was really funny was when D (one of their friends) started talking to me more and making me laugh, the cousins were so happy that I didn't feel akward but when he started to dance with me, the cousins pulled me aside twice to check if I was fine (fret not, I was not in the least bit high despite 3 jugs). When we went out for fresh air, they called immediately and joined us outside. Then when he tried to kiss me, Venky was outraged "for taking advantage" of me. It was so hilarious. The 2 guys acting like my big brothers when they are actually a year my junior. Even D (the guy) was so shocked at their protectiveness. I had to reassure the fuming cousin so many times to relax. I was actually so touched that he cared so much. Well, not like D left me alone after tt, as he kept holding me and stuff but dared not try anything more as my watchful cousins had a close eye on him. Seriously, I was damn impressed. They even called to check in on me. I love my cousins~!

But then it happened again. Again. I can't believe it. Just when I was having the time of my life, it happened. Why does he always have to turn up? It is like he has this innate way of realising when I am having fun and comes right then to spoil it all. Why is his radar or more precisely his friends so accurate? My only joy was probably the shock and irritation that registered on his face when he realised that I was in the arms of another guy and laughing with many others. But even that was shortlived as this minah chick was soon in his. Irritating. Frustrating. Infuriating. No, not the fact that he found someone in the club but the fact that he had to turn up the next day looking so fine and shit. It is like this game God is playing with me or something. Well guess what, 2 can play at this game and I will fight it no matter what happens.

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Ranting and Raving Mad

Saturday, June 12, 2004

12:10 a.m.

dammit I'm freaking pissed.

Seriously, I'm so infuriated I could bash someone's head against a wall..*bleahz*...It is like this amalgamation of things that like day after day, I just persevered thru, till I reached a point when I was up to my neck in crap.

I'm like talking to a million pple on MSN and via SMS right now and frankly I just wish everyone would just shut up for heavens sake. Ok sorry guys and don't worry I'm not pissed at anyone of you in particular but the infuriation is just building!!

Tmr is freaking room bidding day and everyone has to throw their nasty tantrums and whiny desires. Like seriously, it is just a room. Half the time you're going to be in school or stuck at some meeting or out. Only a rare few like me use it for much hibernation. So what the hell is the fuss?? You're not going to loose your friends just cuz you staying 3 doors away instead of 1 so shut the f*** up man!

I have a million things to do tmr and I can't break my promise to anyone. So just shut the hell up and smile with me when you see me tmr. Trust me, you do not and I repeat DO NOT want to see me bitchy and pissed. Take my word for that.

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Debrief

Thursday, June 10, 2004

08:36 p.m.

So after complaining about being a procrastinator, I had the world's LONGEST day yesterday. I'm seriously amazed at the amount of things I managed to complete.

1. Woke up at 6.45am and trudged my way to school after only 4hrs of sleep due to insomnia.

2. Make my way down to YIH to go through the hostel applications of the international freshman...hahhaa...all I can say to the Eusoffians is expect the unexpected..haha..oh and no cute guys as yet.

3. Rushed down to computer centre to service my lappie which seemed to enjoy auto logging off. Turned out they couldn't find anything wrong with the system and just backed up all my files.

4. Ran back to hall to get my detachable CD-ROM drive.

5. Went to the IBM service centre to reformat my computer.

6. Got 1hr of shut eye before going back to collect it.

7. Turned out there may be some hardware problems so the guys at IBM are gona give it a thorough maintainence. Thank goodness for my 3yr warranty!

8. Went back to hall to perhaps catch more shut eye but was kept awake by the screaming kids from the church camp tt was renting EH's premises.

9. Interrupted 30mins later by HJ's intense banging on my door and revelation tt she lost her slippers. Had to go hunting all over D blk with her! Result: Futile

10. Met a friend for dinner.

11. Had a Gilmore Girls appreciation session with Boon, only to be enlightened that maomao had also lost her slippers 1hr before HJ. Paranoid Boon now locks her shoes in her rm.

12. FY came over to stay. Had fun debating on whether lesbian or gay sex was more satisfying while waiting for SD to arrive cuz Kenneth decided it was his turn to drive us arnd. (read: Vin started the trend)

13. SD can't see time so we took a cab down to meet XW and gang there. FY realised she forgot her IC but lucky SD was in hall so helped retrieve it. (lucky me for hiding my key)

14. Super fun partying. Met the whole world as usual. Totally unexpected pple like Michelle, Jing Ting, Kristian,Jeremy and Randy joined us..fun nonetheless as we even gave Mambo a try cuz Lorraine refused to come to Phuture.

15. Witnessed a glass bottle fight in Zouk..and I mean IN ZOUK...

16. Saw Mark Zee (who's frankly not very cute, skinny and is FY's height) and under Kristian's influence, we decided to wait to see Rachel and her gifted assets. Unfortunately, it was a futile wait.

17. Supper till 4am. XW has promised to save me from my sad plight in C3..haha..holding her to her word!

18. Gal Bonding with FY till 6.30am. Only woke up when SD called for lunch. Ironically, she didn't even eat in the end!

19. International freshmen selection is officially over. The screaming kids from church struck again as Grace's entire bag of shoes went missing. What is wrong with these kids? It is a church camp for heaven's sake!!



Can't believe I lasted so long doing such vigorous activities! The very fact tt I managed to do them is amazing. Guess not having a computer as a distraction around can really accelerate progress. But the fatigue just kicked in and I had to cancel all my plans for today as such.

We danced for 5hrs non stop. Not even a sit down break. That would nvr happen with ML who needs to rest ever so frequently..hahaha no offence! Now all of us are a little achy on the thighs. It's not a post-5km kind of pain but more of a lethargy from all that running around and dancing..and guess what? I'm still up for more partying!! hahah...pity me dearies, my hols end on Sat. So don't go around calling me a serial chiongster!

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Relenting

Tuesday, June 8, 2004

11:11 p.m.

After Dav's INTENSE pestering, I finally cracked my brains and came up with this. Go try!!

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Impulsive

Tuesday, June 8, 2004

09:53 p.m.

Very interesting results..never knew I was little..ahha..though alot of pple tend to treat me like I'm 15!

L	Little
A	Astonishing
V	Valiant
I	Industrious
N	Nutty
I	Ideal
A	Amazing

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

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Kudos!

Tuesday, June 8, 2004

06:22 p.m.

Without you, my academic life (read: my major in uni) would have been a much bigger feat than it already is. It's a real pity that you had to be succeeded by the Bushes and that lecherous liar they call Clinton. My only regret will be that I was much too young to appreciate your reign. Nevertheless, hegemony began with Reagan and exacerbated to the pseudo-colonialism it stands at today. Ironic how we still are paying tribute to you.

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Proscratination

Monday, June 7, 2004

11:58 p.m.

Too many things to do and laziness is deccelarting all progress!!!

To Do List

1. Meet up with IJ friends who I've been neglecting. (Too many to name..may even miss some out)

2. Meet up with Germs and gang soon, before school starts, along with all our problems in life.

3. Follow up with all sponsors.

4. Buy a Father's Day pressie.

5. Buy b'day pressies each for the 6 June babies I know.

6. Decide if I want to have a b'day celebration or not. If yes, PLAN IT!

7. Fix my lappie!

8. Buy stationery supplies for the new sem.

9. Decide on what modules to do next sem.

10. Make a date with my hairdresser ASAP!

*sigh* Everything has to be done by end of June and with flag starting next week, I don't know how I'm going to manage. Already cancelled 2 trips overseas so I could make time for EHOC. Ah well, at least there is no academic pressure! wow...suddenly I have a compulsive urge to clean. Must be the stress! ughh...y am I still procrastinating???

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Setting the record straight...

Monday, June 7, 2004

12:11 a.m.

Just for the record, Saturday was not all that sentimental. In fact sentimentality probably only lasted for all of 2hrs! It was actually a day of great fun and lucrative benefits. I actually got extra hongbaos for being such a great tease!!

Well for those of you who are wondering what I (yes, the rest were either too old or too giggly) made the groom do, here is the breakdown.

Forfeit One for Late Arrival: 75 pushups by every member of the 6 member entourage (rationale-5 pushups per min late)

Then the games began.

Challenge One: Danny had to spell out "I LOVE CINDY" on the carpark floor using any materials available. Lucky them had the aunties on their side who helpfully threw down newspapers for them to spell it out.

Challenge Two: All 6 of the guys had to spell "Danny loves Cindy" with their butts in unison. They had to do it 3 times to get this right.

Challenge Three: Terrence was made a human pole while Danny had to dirty dance with him. Cheesy Britney Spears' songs blared in the background until everyone in the blocks had to crane their necks out to watch the drama happening at the carpark.

Challenge Four: All 6 has to do a group dance to a really ridiculous song tt I can't even remember.

So this got them past the first gate.

Challenge Five: Danny had to juggle which he failed miserably at but amused everyone.

Challenge Six: Danny had to use Cindy's name as an acronym to rap out how he feels about it. The 5 other guys had to be part of the rap in someway too. This was a really hilarious sight,I must say.

Danny now had entered the home, much to the relief of Steve and Jun who were lugging the giant suckling pig which was a gift to the bride's family.

Challenge 7: Danny now had to juggle and profess 5 merits about Cindy. Like I expected, men can't multitask and this was the biggest flop.

Challenge Eight: Mercy was granted and now Danny had to hunt for Cindy in one of the 4 rms in the home. Each door contained a girl and which ever rm he chose, he had to marry the girl in it too. Naturally, he guessed the wrong door and nearly walked off with another man's wife to marry...hahaha t'was great fun!

yeah so we laughed like crazy and made lots of dough. Talk about the easiest job ever. Doing what I'm best at and being paid for it..hahaa..So herez a note to all: You definitely want me at your wedding if you wana be rich! haaha..and to think how weddings used to pretty much gross me out for their ostentatiousness!

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Love Actually

Saturday, June 5, 2004

11:40 p.m.

Sitting on the pew, I watched Danny profess his love for Cindy once more before belting out into the song that he first sang to her when he proposed. I could practically feel the nostalgia in the church as everyone looked at the loving couple. Married couples reminisced about their long forgotten wedding day while the swinging singles wondered what they were doing with their life. Even the children could not help but stop their play to bask in this moment with the newly weds. It was probably then that I realised that Danny did love Cindy with his heart and soul.

Don't get me wrong. I never doubted their love. It is simply this philosophy of mine that many a couple get caught up in the romance of their courtship and contort it to be love. This alledged love then seals them in holy matrimony and eventually divorce. This is why weddings usually gross me out-a misrepresentation of love and fantasy. But it was different this time. I could see it. No, there were no Hallmark moments or ostentatious pledges of love. In fact, it was the absence of this that made the wedding real. They were so comfortable with each other. Even 5 mins before the wedding procession, Cindy was happily chatting away and despite a racing heart of nerves, she self-confessed that there was nothing else she would rather do at this moment than marry Danny. Perhaps, she wanted this wedding to be over and done with asap ...maybe...but there was a distinct calmness in her aura, with no sense of urgency or nerves that made me marvel. It was her a big day and she was doing it with the man she loved. What was there possibly to fear?

Danny seemed more like social butterfly than the groom as he flitted from guest to guest. In fact, I frankly think Shawn, Anne, Joanna and I were WAY more nervous for the two than they themselves. Ironically, it was Cindy who had to ask her brother, Jun , to relax and cool his jets..not the other way round. In fact, seeing them this calm made me realise how well this wedding had been meditated upon and that the 2 had no regrets despite all doubts thrown on their union by others.

I watched as Uncle Frankie cried during the whole praise and worship session before giving his only daughter away. I saw how Aunty Eileen teared as her daughter said "I do". I smiled as Danny cried on stage while professing his love for his parents, in laws(yes, he apparently married them too) and Cindy on stage. And I knew this was gona be ok. The 5 years of dating and courtship had prepared them amply for Cindy's frequent sudden mood swings and Danny's ludicrious demands. They had seen each other at their ugliest and at their best. There was no facade and nothing surreal about it. This was love and for once I felt like I believed in it.

It was probably then that I suddenly realised that I do want to be married some day. I wanted to have that love Cindy and Danny shared. I wanted to be so at ease and worriless with someone that I didn't have to think twice about betrayal or burdens. I needed to ditch my pragmatism and still realise that love can work out:- that no matter what, things always work out in God's plan. Yes, despite all these years of ranting about commitment-phobia and grandiose life plans, I realise that deep inside I did want this day. Every girl always dreams about her wedding day when they are young but I would always dream about my high-flying job and lifestyle. The notion of a husband was always secondary as compared to my family, friends and career. It has always been so, for as long as I can possibly remember. Maybe it was the flowers, gowns, gifts, ribbons and music today that made me all sentimental, but I knew deep inside something changed in me. Maybe it was the fact that they were the first friends I knew who are getting hitched. It had always been relatives or my parent's friends in the past but this time it was MY friend:- the friend I had grown up with in the Music Ministry eversince I was old enough to hold a tune.

As Anne teared all thru out the song, I sat there deep in thought wondering how female I actually am. Even independence has emotions. Or maybe I had too much vested interest after being so deeply involved in the wedding prep since 6am this morning. haha... At the reception, everyone teased Tara, Terrence, Shawn and I as they wondered who would tie the knot next. No surprises there as the former 2 are well on their way down that path with their respective partners but Shawn and I just stared at one another and smiled. For the first time in a long time, we had both been single for more than a yr and actually felt more deeply about relationships. Well dude, I sure hope it works out between the 2 of you. Looks like I have my holiday project set for me! But as I realised today, it is when you stop looking that it finds you. Makes me really wonder cuz I suddenly lost all drive and will since the last failed relationship and have stopped looking. In fact, all I have looked at for the past year or so has been myself and my soul and still it never fails to surprise me.

I learnt alot today and for the first time in my life, I believe. Talk about a late realisation.



"The Lord has started a good work and he will see it through. He made me meet Cindy and love her. We passed frienship, courtship and now face partnership. I never would have thought this would happen when I first met her and we were dating other pple. But the Lord always knew."
Danny Teo, bachelor turned husband in 2hrs.

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THE ALPHABET LOVE SONG

Friday, June 4, 2004

12:40 a.m.

When Johnny Jones was serenading Mary, He sure could quote a lot of poetry But he'd much rather tell her what he learned in his speller When they both attended PS thirty-three....

"A," you're adorable,
"B," you're so beautiful,
"C," you're a cutie full of charms.
"D," you're a darling and "E," you're exciting
And "F," you're a feather in my arms.
"G," you look good to me,
"H," you're so heavenly,
"I," you're the one I idolize.
"J," we're like Jack and Jill,
"K," you're so kissable,
"L," is the lovelight in your eyes.
"M," "N," "O," "P," I could go on all day.
"Q," "R," "S," "T," alphabetically speaking, you're OK.
U," made my life complete,
"V," means you're very sweet,
Double-"U" "X" "Y" "Zee."
It's fun to wander through the alphabet with you
To tell you what you mean to me.



Sam just reminded me of the song tonight. Wow..wedding bells are really ringing. Looks like a super busy Friday as we prepare for the big day tmr! Congrats Cindy & Danny! Cheers to a wonderful life together! One day, the rest of us will join in your ranks. Pray hard...very hard!

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Nirvana

Thursday, June 3, 2004

11:10 p.m.

Have you ever come to a stage in your friendship with a person when you know that no matter what happens, it is gona last?

As crazy as this sounds, I think I just reached my first ephihany about friendship. Recently, a reliable source revealed a rather scandalous secret of a fellow friend. A secret that I would have been privy to if I had even bothered to listen during term time and had not been so involved in the innane. Nevertheless, the reliable source was inititally so adamant to reveal it despite half giving it away already, as he was afraid that "it would tarnish my impression" of the friend and made me promise to not judge this person in any way. Naturally, I responded with the affirmative and was rewarded with the scoop.

Now, in an ordinary situation, despite my cool exterior, latent emotions and thoughts would have been flashing across my mind and soul, but this time, my whole being was in complete peace. The information was not at all dulcet but no matter how I forced myself to rethink the news, it could not at all affect my perception and bond with her. Naturally, I never expected it out of her given her rather classy ways, but the fact was tt it didn't matter to me. Maybe 2yrs ago, it would have rocked my impression of her but I'm a changed person. These things fail to surprise me anymore. In fact nothing does anymore. Nothing surprises, impresses or disappoints me anymore. I'm practically undefalcable.

It made me realise how tight this friend and I really are. Yea, so we don't meet up or talk on a frequent basis anymore but this came at no expense of our bond. I remember distinctly how she was the only one who did not judge me abt the breakup. Everyone tried talking sense into me but all she said was " do it if you feel the need to." She didn't even ask why or how come and let me reveal it in my own time. Now, it is her turn and you know what? The feeling is mutual. I don't need her to explain or even apologize cuz I know tt she knows what's she is doing and it is going to be fine cuz everything is always beneficial in retrospect.

I'm beginning to think that is what makes a real friend. It is when you come to this point in a friendship when the both of you can understand each other instantenously without verbose extravagance and simply accept the other's decision. It's called paradise and the Eden of comity. Nothing can change that and you know that it is going to last. Coming to think of it, I have seemed to have arrived at this juncture with many a friend. It is like we have managed to master the dynamics of each other's intrinsic minds along with the conjunction of each other's souls that words no longer matter. The innocence and experience have faded away to form the Golden Age of the present. Bask in its glory, my child! Maybe that is how relationships are supposed to work too. Guess I need to learn to hang in there a little longer and not bolt so soon.


"Then hundreds are calling together, a great complexity of sound, the air quivering with the noise of them. It is as if he has never heard birds before, never seen the dawn. He has never wept like this. The world is good. It is astonishing."
Andrew Miller, Ingenious Pain

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