Monday, April 22, 2002

rant #241: college admissions

I'd like to know how the hell SJSU gets any students at all, considering they're JUST NOW getting around to erecting campus-map kiosks. Currently I have two pieces of paper vital to my enrollment telling me to go places which according to the website may or may not exist, and to do things there which may or may not be expensive, if they bothered to reserve me a seat, which may or may not have happened, as they all seem to have been out-of-office since MARCH.

I could just cry. Why can't everyone else in the world be a Virgo?!? We could run the place with flawless, anal-retentive precision and efficiency.

So now we're down to dialing random campus numbers and leaving messages on the same machines that haven't been updated since long before spring break. And if/when I finally get thru this shitty, impenetrable maze of theirs, they will have the balls to want to test ME.

I want an earthquake! I want it big, and violent. A 5.7 would do, God, if you don't mind....

Thursday, April 18, 2002 (12:18 a.m.)

bite me, Playtex

Today I wished for a personal eunuch to stand behind me at all times and hold up my breasts. This is something I've wanted for a few years, now; there are a number of reasons a real Living Bra is a very good thing. For starters, I get the weight of my C-cups off my chest, shoulders, and back; I wouldn't get painful, unsightly grooves pressed into my skin by a bra; and if I could find a guy with warm, non-sweaty hands... well, that would be gravy.

Other perks to the Living Bra include the fact that it can be worn outside the shirt, and of course the all-important massage function. wuh. [drool]

Now, the hardest part is finding one. I suppose until then I shall have to make do with Xellos, who besides being whiny, is also imaginary. Not a whole lot of support there; plus, his gloves annoy me a bit. Gah, anything covering his skin annoys me a bit--and now I'm getting all distracted. >____<;;

I wish I knew how many people read this crap, so I wouldn't get dragged into writing-for-an-audience again.... I feel fake and wicked when I have to pander. But it's not as if I actually sit down and write for *myself.* Shit, I need to sleep--I'm going all philosophical!!

Monday, April 15, 2002

Murphy's Law of Anime

This law states that your mother will, necessarily and without fail, walk in on you right when you're neck deep in a scrummy hentai-manga site; she will also only happen to view whatever anime you happen to be watching *precisely* during the only foul language or single, solitary adult situation in the entire thirteen or twenty-six hours of the series. [sigh]

I feel good, and I can't explain it; unless it's because my lemons have finally been posted, and people like them (derrr, people liking steamy sex? can't imagine that....). Also my scary-Swedish-dominatrix of a graphic design teacher is at a conference or something this week, so I don't have her class today or Wednesday (ohh thank you God!). And the first horrid wave of hormone poisoning has finally passed; so instead of feeling like a piano wire, I feel like a gargoyle drainspout...persistent vertigo and nausea. I want to put my uterus in storage, already.

Blain has pointed me toward the Big 5 for rollerblades; I don't know if I'll be able to go Wednesday, or this weekend. I SO miss skating... and aikido... and being able to tell amusing anecdotes about wth this or that bruise came from.... Hmm, I guess what I'm really missing here is travelling at high speeds and falling down. :P

[sings "I Will Survive" & has a one-woman disco]

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