Friday, May 10, 2002
06:06 p.m.

my bad

Caused a car accident today. Whups. This is particularly of note considering I don't drive.

If I had just walked home on the other side of the street, it might not have happened:
a woman driving a white SUV was waiting for traffic to thin so she could pull out of the Payless Shoesource parking lot, so when I tried to creep around the front end of her yuppiemobile, I suppose I startled her, because she executed a sharp backwards jerk that made a loud crackly crunch as she backed right into the woman behind her.

So then I had to hang around & wait for the cops & fire paramedics to show up, because the lady in back had whacked her chest rather badly on the steering wheel, and I had to give a bit of a statement....

Like this is gonna help my driving anxiety dreams in the least.... >______<

Wednesday, May 8, 2002
01:09 p.m.

harder, better, faster, stronger

Today, everything is right. It's eighty degrees out, (after forecasters predicting *cooling* trends all week... I think I know where you can put that antenna, buddy) wind is negligible; I have anxiety blisters, but I finally have a name for the condition that causes them!! I have no headache and my legs aren't sore!

I hope the weather stays seasonally warm. Hell, I hope we have catastrophic heat waves, but those always wind up killing stupid people (hey... no downside!!). With each fraction of a millimeter the mercury rises, I feel a corresponding rise in my powers, my personal and unquenchable id, my savage joie de vivre-- >:D

I want to travel at high speeds in the hot wind; I want to live out of my backpack again, to ride chance like a pinball and live on 60% pure wits.... I want to train my cat to attack on command! XD Last summer the scorching white joy of youth was sweet, intense, and gentle; this year I may let it be all-consuming....

Monday, May 6, 2002
02:19 p.m.

ow, dammit

I've had this headache, those blisters, and that muscle ache since Saturday, & I wish they'd all go away. I really do. I also wish there were a way I could lose weight without resorting to anorexia, but there just isn't (and yes, I can and have stuck to diet and exercise plans for months on end, fyi. They do jack-shit. And I *hate* anorexia). If my body packs on any more weight--which it shouldn't, in the *summer*--my bones will start to hurt. They're not built for heavy loads.

Last night, for the first time ever, I dreamed about Ari. And oh, what a nice cold snub I gave him. >:D Something about classes, perhaps dorms? There were cans of Pringles around.... Then a boy younger than Ari started hitting on me. I haven't met him yet; I'll have to keep an eye out. Perhaps I'll meet him at SJSU? ;)

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