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No faaaaaaaaaiiir!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thursday, June 5, 2003 07:36 a.m. I got the Lost Universe CD. XD Am now $15 poorer. T.T Hikaru Midorikawa has a song on it. Was he a voice actor in the anime? This fucked up life Thursday, June 5, 2003 02:23 a.m. Fuck it! I hate my family. I hate my life. I HATE THIS WHOLE DAMN WORLD!!!!!! Why does everything have to be so damn hard!?! What did I do to deserve all this!?! Am I a bad person? Did I commit some grevious sin!?! WHY!?! The brat is acting all bitchy. She's always in a foul mood, and brings everyone else down with her. My fucking parents don't do anything to dicipline her, they just let her throw her stupid temper tantrums. I hate her. She should die. I want to kill her. Maybe that sounds a bit extreem, but I am really really REALLY pissed off right now! My so called "father" is just as bad, if not worse. He get angry, because of the brat, and he takes it out on me! Not only that, he's totally unreasonable, and he never lets me do anything I want to do! He tells me that I have to do all this junk so I can get into a good college, but when I actually try to do something, it's NO! I wanted to go take some college courses over the summer, and stay with a friend the majority of the time, and he says no. WHAT THE FUCK!?! It'll look great to colleges on my high-school transcript and he says no. His reasons are that he thinks I'll fail the course and that he doesn't want me to stay with my friend because he doesn't think her family is "normal". SHUT THE FUCK UP! I mean, no one is normal to him! People who are single aren't normal. People who are divorced aren't normal. Anyone isn't normal! I'm sorry, but there isn't anyone normal in this world! Hell, WE don't have a normal family. We have a fucked up one! And then, he won't let me get a job at Shadowland because "he doesn't like the place." Hellooooo! Where can a 14 year old work that he'll like!?! For the government!?! I think not! ARRRRRGGG!!!! Why won't he just let me make my own decisions in life!?! Why is my fucking "family" so messed up!?! Why is my hell-life so fucked up? WHy am I the only one crying everyday!?! Why why WHY!?! Slacker Wednesday, June 4, 2003 02:58 a.m. Argg. I should be doing my english. Really, I should! I even had a plan all set out. Friday: Finish English final Saturday: Study for Math final Sunday: Study for Math final, finish science index card, study for social studies final, maybe study with sara. It's Saturday...I have not finished my English final; I have not started studying for Math. I am on the computer, slacking. Someone help me!!! I can't stop slacking!!! WAAAAA!!! Depression 101 Thursday, June 12, 2003 10:50 a.m. I'm in depression now. I have a B this quarter in English, which means I have a B as a final grade. T.T I guess that vocab test that I sutdied my arse off wasn't enough to bring it up to an A. I think I got a 92% My grade in Science is a 89.1% after the test. I got a 91% on it. I also got a 17.5 (i think) on the presentation, and I haven't calculated my grade with that. Maybe it will bring me up to an A. Hopefully my warm-ups will help too. ::sigh:: All my grades are horrible. B's B's B's. And I might get a B as a final grade for math too. God help me. I I get a B as a final in math, i can just shoot myself. My parents will kill me anyways. Hot Tuesday, June 10, 2003 06:57 p.m. Uggg... it's so freaking hot! The Pressure Sunday, June 8, 2003 07:20 p.m. Ack! The pressure!!!!!!!! ::flails arms wildly:: There's so much to do, and so little time to do it all!! >.< I have so many tests to study for, and my grades for the classes that I have these test in depends on these tests!!!! There's soooo little time for me to make up all of my grades!!!! I'm such a failure. Only in the 9th grade, and my GPA is already sinking. WHY ME!?! I think I'm gonna hafta write a best seller novel this summer to make up for the grades. Maybe colleges can overlook my GPA and SAT scores if I *do* come out with a best seller. Maybe I won't even have to go to college, and I'll live off of the money I made. It's not very probable though. T.T Someone HAS to call me everyday and berate me until I work on this "novel". Mr. Graf Sunday, June 1, 2003 07:15 p.m. I just found out that Jessie is going to have Mr. Graf as her social studies teacher next year. NO FAAAAAAAAAIIIIRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wanna have Mr. Graf again! He was the best social studies teacher I ever had! And I already know how his mind works, so I'd have an advantage in his classes. Besides, he's so much cooler than the teacher I'll probably have next year. From what I heard, the social studies teacher grades *really* hard, and it's almost impossible to get an A in his class. ::sniff:: Life isn't fair. T.T Stuff Thursday, June 5, 2003 07:34 p.m. Doing my english theme paper...or at least I *should* be doing it. I *really* dun wanna. ::whines:: It's so hard trying to find enough examples. I hope I'm doing it right. My grade and final exam rides on this one thing. I got "Night" from the library for the project, but they didn't have "Rumors of Peace". Arg. I guess this means I'll have to stay after school one day to use a copy of the school's. >.< Oh yeah, Sara, could u bring in Rasphody for me? Dang. I'm listening to one of Shakira's songs. "Wherever, Whenever." I like! ^^ I like most of her songs. I WANT MORE!!!!!!! ^__________________^ Dean Moment Wednesday, June 4, 2003 09:52 a.m. Todays Dean moment: Mrs Schwab: "What are the natural predators of the sea otter?" Dean: "Alligators." lol. ^^ Rain Tuesday, June 3, 2003 02:35 p.m. Had to walk home in the rain today. It was NOT fun. I am soaked. My textbooks are soaked. (I had to carry them cause there wasn't enough room in my bookbag.) My backpack is soaked. The things *inside* my backpack are soaked. And my purse was soaked. Arg! Yet another reason why I don't like the rain. Reasons why i don't like rain: 1) It makes me feel sad. 2) It means the grass will grow which means I will have to help mow the lawn. 3) It dampens everyone's mood. 4) It gets me wet if I don't have an umbrella. 5) It limits the places that I can go. I am not one happy camper right now. >.< Don't Smoke Monday, June 2, 2003 05:22 p.m. Had an assembly today about not smoking. The speaker was a rapper that I've never heard of before. Then again, I usually don't know rappers. It was ok. The best non-smoking assembly I've ever seen. But frankly, I'm tired of all of this Don't smoke stuff. I've heard it so many times already. It's getting old. >.< I do not understand exercise 11. Bleg. I'm really worried about my grades. Today, I've finally realized how little time I have left to pull them up. The two classes that I desperately need A's in are English and Math. I'm gonna hafta study like crazy for the vocab tests. I *must* get 100% on them. I should also question Mrs. Morrison about doing a project again. Hope she'll give out an easy project. Touya!!!!! Sunday, June 1, 2003 06:13 p.m. I saw Touya today!!!! ^__________^ I think he's scared of me, 'cause when I was shouting at him from the car he just waved a little stiffly and had this wierd look on his face. Lol. I scare a lot of people. Is Lillian Touya's sister? I saw them walking together. Well, I finished most of the comp sci program. Haven't tested it though. Gotta wait for dad to give me an account with more power. I *really* hope it works. Does anyone understand the histograph thingy? Chat Saturday, May 31, 2003 10:54 p.m. Had a very wierd chat tonight. Didn't save the first part of it but... requiemformyhope: mo-fo? lone o d d i t y: hee requiemformyhope: whats that? the shinobi 01: mofo=mother fucker lone o d d i t y: be nice children Tenyo Empress: I SHOULDN'T HAVE INVITED U!!!! the shinobi 01: yes? the shinobi 01: fine Soni the hedghog: how old are u guys??????? lone o d d i t y: 13 requiemformyhope: im FIVE the shinobi 01: dude i m like 14 Tenyo Empress: u rn't 14 yet! the shinobi 01: wait, who r u ppl Tenyo Empress: LIAR!!! Soni the hedghog: mike=14 the shinobi 01: i m almost requiemformyhope: lol the shinobi 01: arghiness the shinobi 01: u ppl r queer requiemformyhope: im sara and im 14, i like long walks on the beach and carribean music lone o d d i t y: i'm carla-13 lone o d d i t y: yeah, thats ok requiemformyhope: im looking for a guy who cooks the shinobi 01: u guys no wut queer means rite? lone o d d i t y: haha lone o d d i t y: yeah SilverFalconWing has entered the room. requiemformyhope: =Þ SilverFalconWing: heya the shinobi 01: queer-gay or weird/strange Tenyo Empress: u have a bf already requiemformyhope: lol Tenyo Empress: i'll tell millardo-sama lone o d d i t y: not gay, but weird and strange, yes, yes indeed requiemformyhope: its a joke the shinobi 01: it meant gay back then SilverFalconWing: ok...S-L is totally not in this lone o d d i t y: who's millardo? the shinobi 01: arghiness, Soni the hedghog: yeah...................... there cussing! requiemformyhope: you dont get it? you know guys who always go "im jim, im 18 years old and i like long walks on hte beach and stuff or whatever" Tenyo Empress: sara's bf the shinobi 01: yayiness...derf is back requiemformyhope: =Þ lone o d d i t y: i get it the shinobi 01: derf=fred spelled back wards the shinobi 01: fred= friend Tenyo Empress: ????who's fred? lone o d d i t y: oooh...amazing the shinobi 01: his real name is andrew requiemformyhope: hey serena! i found some really great colleges lone o d d i t y: fred was what i wanted to name my flour baby for school Tenyo Empress: the andrew i stalk? the shinobi 01: nope Soni the hedghog: s-l! the shinobi 01: hes korean Tenyo Empress: wut ones? the shinobi 01: his last name is park requiemformyhope: theyre like no name ones Tenyo Empress: u did flour babies? SilverFalconWing: uh...ok i've g2g Tenyo Empress: i wanna do that SilverFalconWing: byebyes Soni the hedghog: k the shinobi 01: this is queer Soni the hedghog: bye SilverFalconWing has left the room. lone o d d i t y: but then i wanted to name it xena rufus furby mufus fufus household appliance princess fairy requiemformyhope: EVERYthing is queer isnt it lone o d d i t y: but then it turned out that they already came with names lone o d d i t y: it was sad requiemformyhope: Lewis University looks pretty nifty lone o d d i t y: they arent fun Tenyo Empress: nv heard of it lone o d d i t y: theyre really annoying Tenyo Empress: lol requiemformyhope: me neither the shinobi 01: well queer is the word of the year requiemformyhope: and there was another one Tenyo Empress: who wuz the dad? lone o d d i t y: yes requiemformyhope: i forgot its name requiemformyhope: campbell university lone o d d i t y: lets put it on a plaque Soni the hedghog: lets sing! the shinobi 01: hell no lone o d d i t y: yes! Tenyo Empress: follow the yellow brick road!!!! requiemformyhope: potty potty! lone o d d i t y: i know a song that gets on everybodys nerves! the shinobi 01: that is so ghey requiemformyhope: lol the shinobi 01: mofo Soni the hedghog: fa lalalalallallalalallallalaalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala the shinobi 01: fuk this shit requiemformyhope: POTTY! lone o d d i t y: shh sshh be nice the shinobi 01: fine the shinobi 01: mean children nemesis feline: sing, sing a song lone o d d i t y: welcome back my friends to the show that never ends requiemformyhope: he saying baaad words nemesis feline: make it simple the shinobi 01: mean, queer, eviilll children lone o d d i t y: come along come along requiemformyhope: boo boo nemesis feline: to last ur whole life long... the shinobi 01: arghiness the shinobi 01: stop it Tenyo Empress: chim chimey chim chimey chim chim charoooo!!!! lone o d d i t y: here behind this glass theres a real blade of grass Soni the hedghog: i know a song that gets on every bodys nerves! every bodys nerves! the shinobi 01: if u dun shaddaup requiemformyhope: a spoonfull of sugar helps the medicine go down! nemesis feline: lalalalalallalalalal requiemformyhope: the medicine go down the shinobi 01: then i will personally administer ur ass being kicked requiemformyhope: the medicine go down lone o d d i t y: *continues to sing hopelessly off key* requiemformyhope: POTTY! Tenyo Empress: shut up michael the shinobi 01: cock lickers Tenyo Empress: we'd be the ones kicking yours Soni the hedghog: i kno w a song that gets on every bodys and this is how it goes! lone o d d i t y: sshhh sshh pottymouth pottymouth Soni the hedghog: pottymouth! Tenyo Empress: look! the shinobi 01: ? requiemformyhope: potttyyyy requiemformyhope: ?? nemesis feline: otty mouth nemesis feline: *potty the shinobi 01: look? the shinobi 01: look at wat Soni the hedghog: POTTYMOUTH! Tenyo Empress: u the shinobi 01: ? Tenyo Empress: the potty mouth Soni the hedghog: who is 5 years old? the shinobi 01: shaddaup Tenyo Empress: i didn't kno urs wuz so big requiemformyhope: memememememe! Tenyo Empress: it can fit a whole stall!!! requiemformyhope: im FIVE lone o d d i t y: oooh the shinobi 01: kewl the shinobi 01: i didn't no tat lone o d d i t y: i'm pi lone o d d i t y: 0.14 blah blah blah requiemformyhope: hey i bought a book called the life of pi Tenyo Empress: i'm like, as old as time! requiemformyhope: its about slothes lone o d d i t y: i read that Tenyo Empress: but i look 14 the shinobi 01: tats tru lone o d d i t y: its a good book Soni the hedghog: the shinobi 01: im dumb! Tenyo Empress: my dad wanted me to read that Tenyo Empress: i didn't lone o d d i t y: a little weird the shinobi 01: like u gay asshole requiemformyhope: me read after i read a book about pants requiemformyhope: POTTY! lone o d d i t y: the traveling pants? requiemformyhope: waaaahhh! Soni the hedghog: the shinobi 01 im a pottymouth! lone o d d i t y: i like pants, they cover my butt, they are useful requiemformyhope: hehe the shinobi 01: arghiness, stop sayin random comments Tenyo Empress: the sisterhood of the traveling pants!!! requiemformyhope: me read it for mi clase de ingles lone o d d i t y: EEH! the shinobi 01: wth Tenyo Empress: si si!! requiemformyhope: lo leo por mi clase de ingles! lone o d d i t y: thats like my favorite book nemesis feline: hablo espanol the shinobi 01: queer children Soni the hedghog: the shinobi 01: poopy! im five! soni is 10! nemesis feline: y tu? Soni the hedghog: si! requiemformyhope: el libro es muy interesante lone o d d i t y: *cringes* spranish i no speak Tenyo Empress: si si!!! requiemformyhope: hablo espanol asi asi the shinobi 01: hell, u guys r queer Soni the hedghog: hablo esponol asi asi requiemformyhope: estoy en espanol dos Tenyo Empress: u have known us for how long? the shinobi 01: dunno nemesis feline: LIFE!!!! Soni the hedghog: the shinobi 01: poopy! im five! soni 10! lone o d d i t y: uhh iono...maybe 15 minutes Tenyo Empress: AND WE WILL MAKE THE REST OF YOUR A LIVING HELL!!! the shinobi 01: really? requiemformyhope: scary Tenyo Empress: to shinobi that is the shinobi 01: can u really do that Tenyo Empress: yes lone o d d i t y: ooh lone o d d i t y: scary requiemformyhope: yes Tenyo Empress: all those pictures.... requiemformyhope: get kurt to sit on him requiemformyhope: and then the shinobi 01: ouch Soni the hedghog: the shinobi 01: can it! requiemformyhope: hed be scarred for life nemesis feline: sorrie, that wuz bubblegum pink the shinobi 01: u guys r so mean lone o d d i t y: no...red's my favorite color thankie requiemformyhope: hehe requiemformyhope: silva! Soni the hedghog: the shinobi 01: im really a girl! the shinobi 01: i m? nemesis feline: i rem you were talking about predgudices at the time the shinobi 01: ? the shinobi 01: ?? the shinobi 01: ??? Soni the hedghog: the shinobi 01: yes im female! requiemformyhope: boo requiemformyhope: im a boo boo nemesis feline: so i spelled it wrong! lone o d d i t y: let us proclaim the glory of the letter 5 Tenyo Empress: F I V E Tenyo Empress: there are four letters in 5 the shinobi 01: ??????????????????? lone o d d i t y: yes requiemformyhope: lol requiemformyhope: and four in four lone o d d i t y: yes there are Tenyo Empress: 4 in 5 requiemformyhope: but five in three? the shinobi 01: if u ppl have azian pride, eat rice Tenyo Empress: 3 in 2 Soni the hedghog: the shinobi 01 poopy! *poops im hidden dipey* requiemformyhope: I HAVE A SHIRT THAT SAYS "got rice?" Tenyo Empress: sara has that shirt... requiemformyhope: ^-^ the shinobi 01: o_O Soni the hedghog: the shinobi 01: i went poop! lone o d d i t y: i have a shirt that says lone o d d i t y: uhh requiemformyhope: i have a friend named poo poo lone o d d i t y: *looks at the shirt shes wearing* Soni the hedghog: .................. nemesis feline: i have a shirt that says "everyone has the right to be ugly" the shinobi 01: goddamn stop talkin bout shit Tenyo Empress: shaddup requiemformyhope: POTTTTYYY Soni the hedghog: POTTYMOUTH! lone o d d i t y: Clydes american 10k race Tenyo Empress: or i'll stick poo poo on u lone o d d i t y: that i did not run because i am a lazy butt Tenyo Empress: ? requiemformyhope: harharhar Soni the hedghog: the shinobi 01: yes i went poop! im a girl! the shinobi 01: queer children lone o d d i t y: i'm proud of your accomplishment requiemformyhope: im a boo boo and my friend is named poo poo the shinobi 01: dl this song Tenyo Empress: yes yes the shinobi 01: lost souls by AFI Soni the hedghog: the shinobi 01 :im a queer person! i went poop! im 1! Tenyo Empress: but he is also kazuhiko requiemformyhope: AFI! the shinobi 01: yup Tenyo Empress: AFI? the shinobi 01: kewl band requiemformyhope: i only know girls not grey requiemformyhope: or what not the shinobi 01: thats it lone o d d i t y: oh lone o d d i t y: thankie the shinobi 01: sheesh lone o d d i t y: that have been stuck in my head lone o d d i t y: for a really long time the shinobi 01: soni the hedghog is a ghey fag nemesis feline: is there a fire inside your brain? the shinobi 01: yup Tenyo Empress: no!!!! the shinobi 01: ????????? Tenyo Empress: she's only 10!!!!!! Soni the hedghog: the shinobi 01:*eats poop* the shinobi 01: mofo requiemformyhope: yummy! the shinobi 01: ,,l,, requiemformyhope: whats a mofo? Tenyo Empress: poo poo will be so sad Tenyo Empress: those r his relatives the shinobi 01: ,,l,,= flickin u ppl off the shinobi 01: mofo=mother fucker lone o d d i t y: wait requiemformyhope: whats flickin? Lil BerryChen: shaddup michael lone o d d i t y: i dont have kazaa requiemformyhope: POTTY!! the shinobi 01: hahhahahahah Tenyo Empress: neither do i the shinobi 01: hahahahahahahaha lone o d d i t y: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DOWNLOAD STUFF the shinobi 01: mwahahahahahaha Soni the hedghog: POTTY! lone o d d i t y: ack. the shinobi 01: mwahahahahahahhaha requiemformyhope: waaaaah Soni the hedghog: the shinobi 01: i hate poopoo!*burns poo poo* Tenyo Empress: nnnnnnnoooooo!!!! Soni the hedghog: i like poo poo! Tenyo Empress: poor poo poo! requiemformyhope: noooo the shinobi 01: u ppl don't no wut flickin ppl off means? requiemformyhope: waaahhh Tenyo Empress: he's dead! requiemformyhope: poo poo was tall requiemformyhope: and smart Tenyo Empress: who will annoy mrs. mckeon now? requiemformyhope: and chi chi chi chia the shinobi 01: it means sticking up ur middle finger at ppl Soni the hedghog: *throws funarelfor poo poo* lone o d d i t y: aha the shinobi 01: sheesh, u ppl r slow Tenyo Empress: drop it mickey lone o d d i t y: i have windows media player Tenyo Empress: we dun care the shinobi 01: so mean Tenyo Empress: yeah Tenyo Empress: mee too lone o d d i t y: I HAVE BEEN SAVED! requiemformyhope: im old the shinobi 01: pathetic requiemformyhope: im FIVE Tenyo Empress: not as old as me Soni the hedghog: the shinobi 01 : burns all tenyo freinds* requiemformyhope: ouch the shinobi 01: i can dl more stuff wit 31.2k net requiemformyhope: that hurt the shinobi 01: mwahahahahahaha Tenyo Empress: ??? Tenyo Empress: u start to sound like me Soni the hedghog: * throws funarel for all tenyo's friends* the shinobi 01: kazaa lets u expand ur bandwidth speed the shinobi 01: when its idle* lone o d d i t y: good for kazaa lone o d d i t y: im so proud of it nemesis feline: great the shinobi 01: yup yup Tenyo Empress: ^^ Soni the hedghog: the shinobi 01 hates poo poo! the shinobi 01: o_O Tenyo Empress: poor poo poo Soni the hedghog: o_0 Tenyo Empress: we hafta give him this convo the shinobi 01: oO requiemformyhope: voy domirme ahora lone o d d i t y: whats with all the poo? Tenyo Empress: he'll be devestated Soni the hedghog: k. g2g the shinobi 01: ???????????? requiemformyhope: nighty night nemesis feline: the shinobi 01: oO the shinobi 01: queer children Soni the hedghog: the shinobi 01: i got to go! the shinobi 01: its o_O the shinobi 01: sheesh lone o d d i t y: dont let the man eating bedbugs bite the shinobi 01 has left the room. lone o d d i t y: theyre vicious i tell you requiemformyhope: bai bai nemesis feline: the shinobi 01: queer children Soni the hedghog has left the room. Tenyo Empress: bai requiemformyhope has left the room. lone o d d i t y: aww lone o d d i t y: THEY LEFT US nemesis feline: soni is the life of the party nemesis feline: and only ten one o d d i t y: aw Tenyo Empress: ::sigh:: Tenyo Empress: gtg now lone o d d i t y: allrighty Tenyo Empress has left the room. lone o d d i t y: EVERYBODYS LEAVING US lone o d d i t y: *sniffles* nemesis feline: the two who left r on the same compie Lil BerryChen: byebye Dang! That wuz a long convo! My hand has cramped up from typing all of these breaks!!! >.< Stalker Saturday, May 31, 2003 06:24 p.m. I have officially become a stalker. Stalking Jackie's friend's friend. His name is Andrew and he's 15. He's blonde, has blue eyes, is 5'10, and goes to some highschool in Montgomery. That's all I know about him. He wouldn't give me his phone number. Phoey. I have decided to call him Farfello. Long story. Just kno that I was trying to do my best to freak him out and I assumed the personality of Farfello. Thus, I dub him Farfello. Stalking is very fun. More fun than I imagined. ^^ Be thankful I am not your stalker. May Andrew rest in peace. Themes Saturday, May 31, 2003 02:41 p.m. I don't want to do the English theme assignment. It's so ridiculous! Who remembers what happened in all the books we've read since the beginning of the year!?! I don't even remember *what* book I read over winter break! Ack! Someone save me! I'm gonna fail English!! NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! Skating Friday, May 30, 2003 04:20 p.m. Should I go? Or shouldn't I? I wan't to go. But I'm too tired. @.@ Decisions decisions. The Brat Friday, May 23, 2003 11:13 p.m. Arg. Iris has got to be the *biggest* brat on the face of this planet. #%Q($&%@#$(%@)#% I am SO fed up with her! She's inconsiderate and is always bad tempered. I mean, she's throwing a *huge* fit because she has to do her homework since we're going to the museam on Monday. Somehow, she's blamed my mom for not telling her, which she did, and now me! I mean, she should have done her homework ahead of time. And if she hasn't, why should she blame others!?! It IS her fault this time. No one else's! She's so immature! And then, I asked her to get off of the downstairs computer so that I can print out directions to Steph's house, since my dad needs to know the way. BOOM! She blows up and starts yelling about how she might as well take a shower (Dad and I told her to do that earlier, but she refused) because I "kicked her off of the computer to do my own stuff." Heloooo! GET A LIFE! There's always the upstairs computer to use that has all the stuff she needs. (She complained and said it takes "forever" to log on. NOT true! It only takes, like, 3 minutes!) I mean, she's benefiting from this too! It's directions to the party so we can actually GET there. *Somehow* she's managed to "overlook" that. Whenever something doesn't go her way, or she's angry (which is almost always) she *has* to blame someone else. It can never be her fault. She's always so rude about everything and inconsiderate. The world revolves around her apparently and she can't make mistakes. Only other people can. Fuck her. Someone should slap her. Arg. Too pissed right now. Need to take a breather. The Perfect Soldier and The Rabbit Friday, May 23, 2003 04:02 p.m. I just found out that the author of "The Perfect Soldier and The Rabbit" died two months ago from cancer. Been in shock for the past couple of minutes. She was only 13. A year younger than me. I never knew her. She doesn't know I exist. And yet, I don't know why I'm posting this. She was so young, and she never really got to go through with life. Her story, "The Perfect Soldier and The Rabbit" was decent. I won't lie and say it's the best; it would not be fair to her. I loved the first couple of chapters, and then I gave up on it. But that doesn't matter. She was still an author, very much like myself. And I'll post her letter that her sister put online as a tribute to her. To all who read, I am sorry to be the one who had to tell you this....for I feel it is not my place. I am posting this on all stoires. You do not know me but my name is Mary, I am the oldest triplet out of my other two sisters(it goes in the order of myself, Ashley and than Lauren/Bunny). For those of you who care and for those of you who don't Lauren, you may have known her as Bunny, died today at 12 noon, she was struggling with cancer, maybe she told you.....maybe she didn't. It is the same type of cancer that killed our mother and our brother. Lauren went into a coma earlier this week after having some problems the week before. The doctors decided that if she did not start breathing on her own by Thursday our family should consider stopping her life support. Of course no one wanted to do that. So we waited. Thursday at 2 am she awoke and asked for her family. She talked to each of us individually, and than she wrote a letter, the letter was addressed to all of you. I am typing exactly what was said in the letter, it is all of her own words, bad grammer and all: Dear friends, Some of you I have talked to recently and some of you I haven't talked to in months....maybe longer. This is my fault and I am sorry. For all of you who I didn't tell I have cancer, the doctors thought that it could be cured so I had hope but now I know that I'm going to die. Sounds sad doesn't it? A fourteen year old telling everyone that she is going to die but why candy coat things ne? I know some of you may be sad when you read this, some of you may not even care, some of you may not even read this.....but thats all right. My instruction was to have this posted only if I died. Well it looks like I have...damn that sucks. Well I had my fun in life, I had my ups and downs, some dreams came true and some shattered, I cried, I laughed and I smiled so now I guess its another person's turn. For those of you still reading this thank you and as my thank you I would like to give you some advice, read it, use it, laugh at it or discard it: A question I was recently asked by my 4 year old brother, who toddled into the room and was lifted onto my bed by my father before we were left alone, really made me think. He was so serious when he asked me, he had been playing with my hair and telling me about what he wanted for Christmas when he suddenly pulled back and took my hand in-between his and looked me straight in the eyes, "Lau what are you mostes afraid of?" I was dumbfounded at first but than I answered before thinking. "I'm afraid of time, I'm afraid of not having enough I mean to understand people, how they really or for others to understand me. I'm afraid of the quick judgments people make and the mistakes that we all make and can't fix because you can't fix those type of things without time. I'm afraid of seeing snapshots instead of movies." Than my brother kissed my cheek and told me he had asked Santa to fix me so I could come home. I cried than, I cried because I knew that my brother was a wonderful person, as small as he is and I'll never be able to watch him grow up. I'll never be able to fix his cuts or help him with homework. I'll never be able to have my own children or have my own love life. And I hate God for that, I hate that he is taking this all away from me. But thats selfish............love yourself and love God(as cliche as it sounds). Live your life like I couldn't because you only get ONE and than its over, try to understand people and don't make quick judgments, we all make mistakes, but some of us will have enough time to fix them and some of us won't. Don't always be cautious just do things, live your life to the fullest. I know I wish I had. But its to late for wishes isn't it? I love you all. Sincerely and forever yours, ~Lauren-anne/Bunny~ Paradise Kiss Friday, May 23, 2003 07:08 a.m. Just came back from Borders. I've started reading another manga. IT's called Paradise Kiss. The plot is a little funky and the pictures need getting used to, put I rather like it. I'll hafta go back sometime and finish it. boreeeeddddd!!! Friday, May 23, 2003 04:32 p.m. i'm so BBBBOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There's nothing to read, no one to talk to, and nothing to see! >.< So bored. Somebody save me! The Little Mermaid Friday, May 23, 2003 01:42 p.m. Saw The Little Mermaid in spanish again. Arg. I hate it! I never like the movie in ENGLISH to begin with! So why would I want to see it in spanish!?! And the fact that I've already seen it twice this year is not helping!!!!!! Ack! Thursday, May 22, 2003 10:58 a.m. Ack! I just realized how horrible the piccie looks in jpeg format. T.T. wahhhhh!!! The outside of the piccie is all screwed up! wahhhhhh!!!!! New-ness! Thursday, May 22, 2003 06:09 p.m. Well, I made a new layout. Took me most of the afternoon. I'm not going to archive my entries just yet, 'cause i barely have any from the previous one. :p This is the first non-anime layout i've done! Yay! Is anyone proud of me? Originally, this layout was going to be based on the theme "lost", as earlier stated in the joint blog. But once, I started, it changed from "lost" to "fallen" to "forsaken. Lol. Handball Thursday, May 22, 2003 02:42 p.m. Played handball in PE today. The game is actually pretty fun, we just needed to play in a bigger area. While warming up for the game, Dan, who was playing goalie, got beamed in the nuts by a ball. ::wince:: ouchie. That musta hurt. Phil is soooo freakin' annoying! Because Dan was...well, you know, he had to sit out for the game, so we were one player short. So, the teacher told Josh to sub for him. Somehow, Josh misheard what team he was supposed to sub for, so he took the jersey for the other team. Then, Phil just came over and tried to join our team. When, the teacher saw that Josh was on the wrong, team, she told him to take off his jersey and put on one of ours. So, we had our sub player, but Phil *still* wouldn't leave! No one wanted him and we told him to leave, but he wouldn't. What an ass. >.< Finally, I told him off and he left. I've never liked Phil, even in elementary school. He's loud, arrogant, rude, and annoying. He tires to be funny but he isn't and it's really pathetic how he tries to fit in with the popular people. His comebacks are horrible and sometimes, I just want to smack him upside the head. Granted, I don't like Joash either because he's such a big cheater. But he's nicer than Phil, and when he's being "arrogant", it's kinda funny to watch. He's only annoying after some time when his antics don't let us get anything done. Phil is just annoying, period. Scrapbook Wednesday, May 21, 2003 10:12 p.m. Just finished my english scrapbook. I'm doing it for Aunt Alexandra. So tired... >.< I lost the original project sheet, so I'm hoping that I've done everything right. T.T Bio Exam Tuesday, May 20, 2003 01:46 p.m. Well, I officially failed the Bio exam. Everyone was telling me how it was going to be so easy. What a load of bull. >.< It was freakin' hard. Half of the stuff we didn't even really learn. And the BCRs! ARRGGG!!!!! There were 9 of them. NINE!! The majority of the answer booklet was blank space and lines for the BCRs. And Mrs. Schwab said there'd only be about 3. Liars. All of them. The questions for the BCRs were awful and I just fudged most of them. How does waste leave the body? *Come on*! We poop! That's how. I already know I've got about three of the BCRs wrong. Crap. T.T English Exam Monday, May 19, 2003 04:46 p.m. Well, I took the English exam today. The exam itself was ok and relatively easy, but I hated having to take it. I spent 3 HOURS in a room FREEZING MY ASS OFF because the stupid administrators decided to turn on the air conditioning. >.< And afterwards, I actually had to work in Spanish. How does Mr. Mortimer expect me to think after taking a 3 hour long test!?! Bleg. Oh well, at least I finished my outline for social studies. Must study for Bio exam tomorrow. Must start scrapbook for English. Must not procrastinate. Oh who am I kidding? Firewing Sunday, May 18, 2003 08:52 p.m. Just finished reading the book Firewing. I'm still crying. T.T It's soooooo saaaadddd!!!!! ::wails:: But, even so, I LOVED it!!!!! ^^ It's an awesome story, and the ending was the best. It was a bittersweet ending, and I like bittersweet endings the best. They're happy, but sad at the same time. (My favorite ficcies are also ones with bittersweet endings too) I guess I'm just an angsty person. :P Well, I have a humongous test tomorrow. >.< I still haven't really gotten anywhere on my scrapbook either >.< Bleg. War Sunday, May 18, 2003 02:17 p.m. Went to a chinese dance performance yesterday. It was so cool! ^^ I LUVED IT!!! My favorite one was the "Spirit of the Sword". I wanna leard how to use a sword! You know, I think technology, while it has its advantages, is a huge drawback in a way. These days, war is just horrible and dishonorable with all the explosives. It isn't fair or worth fighting at all. The ones witht he most technology will win. We fight dirty. People look into the past and call people of the past barbarians. But, you know what? We are the barbarians. In the past, war was an art. I'm not saying that war was good, but it was beautiful. (minus all the bloodshed) We used the sword and techniques that people master, learning it all of their lives. War was fair, and it survival depended on skill, wits, and courage. Both sides had a chance of winning. Today, war is like a chess game to those at the top. They never actually fight, they just direct the pieces (soldiers), not caring if they accidentally make a mistake. Why would they? Their fat behinds will never step onto a battlefield! It was different in the olden days. Kings rode out in the front of an army, defending for what they believe in with their own blood and sweat. They don't just talk, they act. And whose to say that the ones with the most technology is right? Both sides fight for what *they* believe in. There is no right or wrong. There is only a winner and a looser. And the winner is just a big cheat. Today, what we call war isn't just a fight for what we believe is right. It's a massacre. Dean Moment Friday, May 16, 2003 09:52 a.m. Today's Dean moment: "Does that say cartoon?" He was asking about a word on the warm up. It really said "carbon". How did he get cartoon? Tired Thursday, May 15, 2003 08:09 p.m. Argg... so *tired*. Need...sleep... Dad won't take me to Borders. >.< Joint blog Wednesday, May 14, 2003 08:32 p.m. Go read my joint bloggity! [+] Devil Sisters Nappity Wednesday, May 14, 2003 05:04 p.m. Just woke up from a nap. Nap's are good. ^^ I am very happy now. Dean Moment Sunday, January 1, 2040 11:16 a.m. There was another Dean moment in science today. "How can you drink nitrogen?" -.-;;; Yesterday Tuesday, May 13, 2003 01:43 p.m. Sorrie I haven't been updating recently. Yesterday was the "Evening of Excellence" thing. Stupid ceremony, cost me 35 bucks. >.< Stupid brat! Stupid mom! (read earlier rant) [If u didn't read the earlier rant, u might be a bit confused.] ARRRGGG!!!!! The stupid brat *demanded* cash, and my mom made me give her cash! It's bad enough that she makes money off of me going to a ceremony for the HONOR SOCIETY (where's the fairness in that?), but I just *had* to give her the money in cash just because she demanded it is just unfair! I men, my mom should have paied her anywayz because she owes me a lot of money. She could have just transfered the money directly from her account to the brats. That's what she was threatening to do to me! ARRGGG!!!!!! It's not fair!!!!! Back to yesterday. Well, my imouto-chan came over yesterday. We tried to work on a layout for the soon-to-be-online-joint-bloog, but it didn't really work. We quit about mid-way through. Then we had dinner and left for the ceremony. The ceremony itself was sooooo boring and not worht the 35 bucks. It took *forever!* I didn't like the piece that the violin player played, and I didn't think the solo dance was very good. It was not well coriographed (sp?) to the music. Well, gotta go. The bells about to ring. Finally! Saturday, May 10, 2003 10:33 p.m. I *finally* got the brat off of the computer. What right does she have to be on it anyway? I mean, it's dad's computer and she's totally pissed at him and disrespectful to him. She talks bak all the time, yells at him , and does a whole bunch of other bad stuff. It's sooooo hypocritical of her to even go on the computer. Anyways, she was just reading text files, which she could do on the other computer, and I wanted to go online, which can only be done on this computer. You know, it's amazing what you can do with just a keyboard. It took a while, but I finally got the brat off of the compie by only using the keyboard. (she had the mouse) Along to way, I discivered I could: open up the internet, open up windows media player and pick songs, open up a search window, and, of course, open up the start menu. All of that and probably more with just the keyboard! My shoulder stings now because the brat slapped me. It didn't hurt too much, but it still hurt. Honestly, she has the worst attitude. She's *always* grumpy, yelling, upsetting people, and annoying them. I cna't really say much in the last department, but at least I don't go around annoying my parents. Just her. She has absolutely NO respect for anyone, not even her parents. (Look at the way she treats dad!) And she shows no consideration for anyone. It always has to be about her. Her, her, her, her. Well, you know what I say? FUCK YOU! You aren't the only person in this universe! The world doesn't revolve around you! If anything, it doesn't even care about you! So take into consideration how you treat everyone and how you act 'cause one day it's gonna come back and bite off a nice chunk of your arse! College Friday, May 9, 2003 10:51 p.m. I am looking at colleges right now because I have nothing better to do. How sad... Tired Friday, May 9, 2003 02:55 p.m. ::yawn:: So tired now... ::snooze:: zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.... Wanna sleep, but I kno I shouldn't because then I won't be able to fall asleep at night when I'm supposed to. My dad is in the basement, so I can't watch NOIR right now. T.T And the brat just came home, so I'll hafta go now. >.< Bleg. Arrays >.< Friday, May 9, 2003 01:14 p.m. Bleg. I do not understand arrays at all. >.< Phoey. I'm such a hopeless cause. Cero says that he'll explain it to me after he's finished his program. Hopefully, I'll understand then. New look Thursday, May 8, 2003 09:20 p.m. Well, I *finally* finished this layout. It's based on Souzo Sagara. He was the leader of the Seki-houtai group during the Bakumatsu. He wanted a new and better government for the people of Japan and worked for the Meiji government group because he thought that they would accomplish his dream. After the Bakmatsu was mostly over and the Meiji won, the Meiji leaders told Sagara to tell the people that hte price of rice would be lowered so that they could afford it. Sagara did as they wanted, but when the government discovered that they couldn't afford to lower the price of the rice, they slaughtered the Seki-houtai and told the people that the Seki-houtai group had lied. From that moment on, the public only saw the Seki-houtai group as villians and liars. Only two people knew the truth, Sanosuke and his friend. They were both part of the Seki-houtai, being raised by that group. The Seki-houtai were their family since they were orphans. Actually, all of the members of the Seki-houtai were commoners at one point who joined the group because of Sagara. I made this layout in a tribute to Sagara because I think he's a great man. (Not to mention cute too ^^) Sagara saved Sanosuke at the price of his own life. He also did what he believed in, doing the dirty work that others did not want to do. It is a sad thing that most of the public will see him as a villan and they'll eventually forget about him and what he did to ensure their peaceful lives. Who will remember him? Who? Who will know what a great person he was? Who will pay tribute to him? Sanosuke and the other survivor will, but after they are gone ... who? This also brings me to one of my many questions about life. Who will remember us? What will happen after we die? Most of us will be forgotten, nobodies in this vast universe. A few lucky ones, like Newton, will be remembered. But for how long? Would this be our real deaths? When we die physically, there will still be family members and friends that will remember us and we will still, in a certain point of view, exist. But once those people die, who will remember us? The very knowledge of our existance will be forgotton. It would be like we never existed. If that is so, than what is the point of our lives? |