Tuesday, April 8, 2003 09:54 p.m.
In process of creating a new layout. Just have to do the HTML part. I can't finish it today, cause I still have homework to do. >.< I'm not a very good student, am I?
Monday, April 7, 2003 08:36 p.m.
HELP ME!!!!! ::wails:: I have sooo much to do!!!! >.<
Monday, April 7, 2003 01:24 p.m.
So tired... @.@ bleg. I can't affor to loose an hour of sleep!!! >.<
Oh well, I got 100% on my social studies test!!! ^^ I'm soo happy. I also got an A as a final grade for 3rd quarter in Comp Sci, but it's a low one. I didn't do too well on the tests. It's sooo not fair! I used to have a 101.1%!! *How* could it have drooped so dramatically in such a short amount of time!?!
::sigh:: I have to do my whole entire outline for english tonight. >.< I'm gonna be up so late... *Why* do I have to procrastinate so much? WHY!?!
Sunday, April 6, 2003 03:30 p.m.
::sigh:: I'm supposed to be doing my english homework...but I'm not. Why do I procrastinate (look, a vocab word!) so much? Is there some defect in my genetic makeup? I mean, as long as something isn't due the next day, I can't concentrate on working one it. >.< And then, the night before it's due, I'm like freaking out and staying up till 12. >.< I have so many bad habits.
Instead of doing my English, I'm reading some online mangas. Woah, some ppl are *really* good drawers. My favorite one is Ghost Hunters. The artwork is sooo good! It's like, *professional*!!!
Friday, April 4, 2003 11:01 p.m.
Just finished watching XXX. God I love that movie. It was the coolest! ^^ All the stunts were awsome and the music was good too. My favorite song was the ending one; I think it's called Adrenaline. (That's spelled wrong, of course. I'm such a horrible speller... -.-;;;) I HAVE to see the sequel!!
Feel like shit right now. My throat hurts and I think I'm coming down with something. I just hope it's not SARS. >.<
Thursday, April 3, 2003 08:21 p.m.
Once again, I wallow in my misery. I can barely keep my eyes open, they're so puffed up from all of the tears I shed for an hour and a half. I hate my dad. I hate my life. Why can't anything ever go right for once?
This afternoon, my dad came in a took all my stuff and dumped it into a trash bag. Whe the HELL gave him the right to do that!?! Then, I dumped it all out on the floor and he told me that I had to clean it up if I wanted to keep it. What if I don't *want* to clean my room? What if I dont feel like cleaning my room!?! Psh. Like he cares.
I don't know why, but I started to cry after that. I locked my door, but he kept on pounding on it a yelling, so I had to unlock it. I sat in front of the door then, to try to keep him out, but he just pushed it and wedged me between the door and the wall. I started to cry harder then.
I learned that my parents might (probably are by the way things are going) sell the house. I don't want them too. It's where I've grown up for the past 13 years of my life. There are so many memories in my house. I don't want to leave them behind. I'm such a wierd person, but that's how I am. I guess being so sensitive to things can be a big bummer. It makes everything in life so hard. My sister got the same treatment I did and basically got told the same thing, but she got really angry instead of sad. I was angry too, but I just seemed to cry and cry and cry. Sometimes, I think she's the stronger one.
I'm so weak.
The marriage is failing. It has been for some time now. I guess I cried so hard today because everything that's been building up for the past year or so just exploded. I've been keeping everything locked away inside, and, like a soda bottle that's been shaked too long, I exploded. It's so hard to let things out and tell people. I feel so awkward because no one understands.
When my mom came home and found me lying on the floor, she tried (and did) have one of theose "heart-to-heart" conversations. But I couldn't tell her how I felt. I didn't know how. I'm so hopeless.
So I'll continue to keep things locked away inside, because no one relates. Sure I have friends and family. But what? My family's breaking apart, and my friends all have problems of their own. Who can I turn to? No one.
Thursday, April 3, 2003 12:00 p.m.
At liunch right now. Once again, I have no lunch. WAHHHH!! >.< I'm sooo *hungry*!
Just did a oral spanish test. I think I did all right...at least, I hope so. I was falling asleep in that class. Actually, I think I did fall asleep, kinda. It's when you're asleep, but you're half consious about what going on around you. When I "woke up" everybody was laughing for some reason. I wonder if they were laughing at me? I hope not. -.-;;;
Wednesday, April 2, 2003 02:52 p.m.
WAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I have an A in English!!!!! WAHAHAHAHA!!!!! ^^
I finished my test programs! ^^ THANK YOU ADAM!!! I'll worship you until the day I die! G2G now, my dad should be coming to pick me up. JA!
Friday, March 21, 2003 08:57 a.m.
ARRGGG!!! >.< I hate this whole entire affirmative action thing. It's not fair! I mean, why should someone have a higher chance to get into a school than someone else, even if they didn't try as hard and get as good of a score!?! I mean, if there were two people, a black with a 3.8 GPA, and a white with a 4.0 GPA, the black would have a higher chance of getting into the school than the white.
Where's the sanity in that!?! If the black didn't get as good of a score as the white, well, that's their fault! They shouldn't have a higher chance of getting into the school because they have that damn affirmative action crutch! If they didn't study hard enough, well, it's *their* fault! Why should the white person have to suffer for it!?!
On the news, when they showed the rally outside the supreme justice court supporting the affirmative action thing, the majority of the people were black. Surprise, surprise. I'm not saying that I hate blacks or anything, it's just that there are a lot of people who work hard to get the scores they got. It isn't fair for someone to work for something all of their life, just to see their dreams shot down because someone else has that stupid crutch. It's just like a person getting a higher paying job because they know the boss when, in reality, it's the unknown person that can perform better.
::sigh:: Why are all of today's adults insane? Where has their common sense gone!?!
Friday, March 21, 2003 07:07 a.m.
This is my NEW program:
//Serena Chen
//Question 2
#include
#include
void Instructions();
String SpanishEquivalent(String &word);
int main()
{
char Answer;
cout << "Would you like instructions?";
cin >> Answer;
if (Answer == 'Y')
Instructions();
String EngWord, SpanWord;
do {
cout << "Enter an English word (END to quit): ";
cin >> EngWord;
SpanWord = SpanishEquivalent(EngWord);
cout << "The Spanish word is: " << SpanWord << endl;
}
while (EngWord != "END");
return(0);
}
void Instructions()
{
cout << "Enter an English word in all lowercase, and I will give you the Spanish equivalent. If I do not know the word, I will display Unknown." << endl;
}
String SpanishEquivalent(String &word)
{
if (word == "hello")
{
word = "hola";
return (word);
}
else if (word == "goodbye")
{
word = "adios";
return (word);
}
else if (word == "yes")
{
word = "si";
return (word);
}
else if (word == "friend")
{
word = "amigo";
return (word);
}
else if(word == "END")
{
word = "fin";
return (word);
}
else
{
word = "Unknown";
return (word);
}
}
IT FINALLY WORKS!!! ^^
Monday, March 31, 2003 01:53 p.m.
Just finished the comp sci test for today. Gotta finish it tomorrow. I've only done question 1 part a for the programming. I've started part b, but I'm not really getting anywhere yet. I just hope I can finish all of the parts and question 2.
As for the multiple choice...I *really* don't want to think about it. I go t soooo many B's, and that can't be right...can it? I HOPE it is! I'm prayin here!!! IS THERE A GOD LISTENING!?!
Monday, March 31, 2003 10:55 a.m.
Just came from science. Have no lunch ... again. >.< I'm hungry.
In science, I did a lab with Jeff and Brandon. We all had a lot of fun. It was one of the few labs that I actually *liked* doing. I was laughing thoughout the whole entire thing.
Apparently, I'm colorblind. On the red and white enviornment, I picked up more white things than any other color. In the black/red/green enviornment, I picked up more black things than any other color. At least I'm not the only colorblind person, Brandon did the same exact thing. Lol.
Oh yeah, in the last minute, Brandon stabbed Jeff with the tweezers. >.< Ouch. Poor Jeff. We were all laughing over it though.
I got a 50/60 on my debate. I wish I'd gotten a better score, but I guess that's better than what I could have gotten. o.O Try saying that sentence five times. ^^
Monday, March 31, 2003 08:23 a.m.
In english right now ... slacking off ... again. I'm such a horrible person. ^^; I should be doing my English, but I'm not. Why can't I ever do my school work? I can never seem to concentate on what I have to do until it's the last minute and I can't put it off anymore. I'm a horrible procrastinator. (I kno I spelled that wrong -.-;;;)
If I'm not doing my english, the least I could do is study for that humongous comp sci test today ... but I'm not. I lost the study sheet, and I'm too lazy. I'm doomed for the rest of my life. How am I supposed to get straight A's!?! (I'm not) How am I going to get into a good college!?! How am I supposed to get a decent job!?! HOW AM I GOING TO SURVIVE!?! >.< I'm going to die a lonely and miserable teenager. I dun wanna grow up.
::sigh:: I should probably do my social studies homework. I don't really have the time to do that tonight...bot once again, I'm not. ARRGGG!!!! Why is it so hard to do something I *should* be doing!?! It's not like there's anything good updated, anywayz. ::sob:: Someone trade brains with me? I think I need new one. Mine's is starting to rot.
Sunday, March 30, 2003 05:49 p.m.
OMG. I have officially lost my marbles. I've fallen off the edge, I'VE GONE INSANE!!! I can't really think right now, I don't know why. I should be doing my homework right now, but I'm not. I should be studing for that stupid comp sci test right now, but I'm not. I'm going to regret all of this procrastination later, really, I will.
::sigh:: Why am I such a lazy bum? >.< Someone come save me.
Sunday, March 30, 2003 02:05 p.m.
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! My sister is sooo wierd! She sings this god-awful song and then goes crying/screaming to mom when I start hitting her. Her door can't lock, so my mom's pinning me down on the ground while that pathetic brat runs to my mom's room and locks the door. When I get the key and finally unlock the door, she starts screaming bloody murder! Lol.
She's the most pathetic person I've ever met. -.-;;;]
Saturday, March 29, 2003 12:47 p.m.
In the library right now, it's so freakin's hot in here. I should have gone to the centeral library, not the east columbia branch one. All the books I want are there, not here. Now I'm stuck her for two freaking hours. >.<
Just thought of another one shot between Sesshoumaru and Kagome. Funny, I like the whole Kagome/Inuyasha pairing, but lately I've been getting into the Sess/Kag ones. Lol. Neewayz, here's the next one-shot I plan on doing.
The smell of blood hung heavily in the thick air of the forest. Half of it was hers, and half of it belonged to the newely dead oni that lay just ten meters away from her.
Golden eyes bore into fading blue ones, worry and anxiety there for her to find. One clawed hand, recently covered with blood, reached to his hip to unsheath his inheritance.
"The tensaiga will save you."
She shook her head sadly, her chest heaving with every breath she took. "It will not." she rasped out, wincing as more blood poured forth from her wound. "You have used it once on me already. Death cannot be cheated twice."
ok, I don't know what to do right now. The air is so humid here (how can it be humid in a freaking building!?!) and I can't think straight. @.@ Someone come save me.
Thursday, March 27, 2003 02:47 p.m.
WHAT IS HIS FUCKING PROBLEM!?!?!? Why can't he just leave me alone!?! He goes on and on on about how I could get a job if I only learned how to make a really good website and this and that. Well, if he's so smart, whey doesn't he do that!?!? He's the one who actually *needs* the job!!!
Then he goes on to say how "if I ever need a parent signature for something" only *he* can sign it. WHO DIED AND MADE HIM GOD!?!?! Why is he trying so hard to *ruin* my life?
FUCK HIM! FUCKHIMFUCKHIMFUCKHIM!!!!!!!! DAMN HIM TO HELL!
Wednesday, March 26, 2003 01:59 p.m.
Ugg. In comp sci right now. I have a headache. I hate ACXL.
Did some crazy round robin story. Imo-chan's typing it up in her bloog right now. ::sigh:: I have so much to do...and I'm not doing any of it. I *really* should. >.<
Someone in comp sci called Suki Suki Hitler. Lol.
Tuesday, March 25, 2003 01:43 p.m.
Here's the second thing I needed to get down. It's for my Great Expectations chapter. I've totally changed my idea since I really wasn't getting anywhere to begin with. Lol.
I saw Estella just once more after that. Surprisingly, it was at the same park where she'd met little Pip and I. It was about two months after that incident and I had come back for another visit.
I was walking down the worn pathway, my hands in the pockets of my beige coloured pants. A refreshing wind blew by, stirring up the dead leaves that littered the ground. I don't recall what made me turn around, but I did. And then, I saw her.
At first glance, she looked releativly the same, as beautiful as always. And yet, there was something different about her. She no longer had that untouchable air around her. In the past, her entire posture was that of a woman who knew her beauty, used it, and flaunted it. Now, she was...subdued. While not particularly warm, Estella wasn't as cold as she used to be.
However, it was only when she looked up from underneath the white, broad-rimmed hat she wore that I really saw what had changed in her.
Tuesday, March 25, 2003 10:54 a.m.
Argg. My team lost the debate, >.< I thought I did really well too. Oh well...I guess everything in life can't be perfect.
While I was in class, I thought of two little pieces that I just have to get down, and since I don't have anyplace else to put it, I'll just write them here.
The first one is an Inuyasha scene. I don't know if it's AU or what. Heck, I don't even know who's going to be one of the people in the scene. All I know is that it's between Kagome and one of our luvable Inu-brothers. Most probably Sesshoumaru.
It's somewhat like this:
"I'm not human." he said, "I never will be."
She leaned against him and lay her head against his chest. "I know. I never asked you to be. You aren't human...you're something more."
He looked down at the slip of a girl leaning against him, and some unknown feeling stirred within the depths of his mind, bringing with it a type of warmth he'd never experienced before. With regret, he said what both of them were undoubtably thinking, "We cannot be together. Society will not allow it."
She closed her grey-blue eyes and willed away the hot tears that gathered beneath them. Gripping the fabric of his kimono in one hand, she laughed shakily...helplessly. "It is not possible...I know. We were condemned before this all began, ne?"
Unbidden, the tears leaked from her eyes and seeped into his clothes, staining them with the despair that they were both experiencing. Wordlessly, he brought up a clawed hand and placed it ontop of her head. Running his fingers through her ebony tresses, he silently cursed the gods for the pain that they'd brought down upon to two.
Two.
Two hearts. One lost, one saved.
Two souls. One pure, one tainted.
Two paths. One left, one right.
Two children. Both forsaken; both denied.
Together, they stood beneath the branches of the old, sacred tree, looking up at the night sky. The wind blew by them, carrying way their unspoken words of love, hope, and desire. All that was left was a sense of hopelessness, despair, and longing. The moon was hidden behind the grey storm clouds that had gathered. The stars were dimmed by the rain that started to pour from the sky. Still, they stood there, wrapped up in eachother's embraces, never wanting to let go.
Finally, as the red sun rose out of the east, they departed. Both turning their backs on eachother and walking the opposite directions, never looking back.
And they fell from heaven without even reaching it.
Saturday, March 22, 2003 08:54 p.m.
OMG. My competition's tomorrow! I'm like, *totally* freaking out!!! >.< It's so scary. Oh yes, Sara, if you're reading this, my mom says that we'll take you out to lunch. You should probably get ready around 11:50 or something. I'll give you a call about it tomorrow. ^^
Friday, March 21, 2003 01:35 p.m.
Did my debate is science today. I'm so happy that's done with. Sneha told me that I did really well and if she was grading me she would have given me a 16. I just hope the prople who really did grade me throught the same thing. Truthfully, I thought I didn't do too well because me report was short. Also, when I was at the podium, I was shaking with nervousness. I wonder if the podium shook with me? -.-;;;
The best part I did was during the senator questions. I always love that part. Molly asked Justin a question that was about the future and long term benefits of stem cell researching. I told her that the zygotes *are* the future. They are the children of tomorrow. And stuff like that. Matt said that Molly was beaten and that she should step down. I didn't really say anything, but I was proud of myself. Is that bad?
In PE we played floor hockey again. Phil (that bastard!) was on MY team and he hit me in the butt with a HARD field hockey ball! Ouch! My ass is still hurtin' from that!
Well, I can relax now, but not much. I still have to finish the english binder over this weekend and I have my piano competition on Sunday. Not to mention that I'm going to a job convention on Saturday. Where am I going to find the time I need? >.<
Tuesday, March 18, 2003 01:30 p.m.
Ugg. My program isn't working!
BUSH IS STUPID! BUSH IS STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, back to the subject. I hate fractions. THe stupid program is about reducing fractions, and it's NOT WORKING!!!!!!!
Ah yes, I've moved in comp sci. Motoki was looking at my program, that big cheater. >.< He's hopeless. I sit next to Jeff right now. ^^ Maybe I can get some help on my programs! ^^
Monday, March 17, 2003 09:47 p.m.
Jeesh, it's sooo foggy outside. I mean, once you turn into my neighborhood, it's all fog. You can't even tell where the raod goes! The only reason my Mom could drive the car without crashing, is because ... well ... she drives on it every day. Even so, she didn't even know which court was ours! Lol.
Oh yes, the reason for this entery. Ne, imouto, can you bring in the book "The Girl with the Pearl Earring" ? I kinda need it tomorrow and I can't get a hold of you through the phone. According to your bloog, you're at you grandma's and your not very happy. Lol. You have my pity. I'm not too comfortable around my grandma either. ^^
Monday, March 17, 2003 03:11 p.m.
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I got a 108% on my science quiz! ^^ I am soooo happy! ^^ Now, if only my social studies test were this great...probably not.
Well, for the debate thing in science, I'm on the con side of stem cell research. No fair! I wan'ted to be on the pro side! The con side is so much harder! I'm a witness, specifically, a doctor. How is that going to wor? Doctor's *want* this to happen. The only argument I came up with is "I became a doctor to save lives, not destroy them." How corny is that?
I've got to do reallllyyy well on this too, because it's worth 60 points.
Sunday, March 16, 2003 10:23 p.m.
Well, I just skimmed over Ray-chan's "Do you know the muffin man?" ficcie. Skimmed, because I only read the part with me in it. Gosh, I didn't know I cussed so much. If my mom read that and knew it was me ::draws finger over throat:: Ack. I'd be dead before I could say "It's not really me!".
Reading that reminds me of the past, in middle school...when I was happy. Back then, there was no terrorist thing, no 9-11, no family problems. When did things get so complicated? My life is falling apart, I feel as if no one cares, and my future is looking bleak. Why did those stupid terrorists have to rund three damn planes into three fucking buildings!?! IT'S ALL THEIR FAULT!!!
Actually, no, I can't blame them. I would really like to, but I can't. Things would have eventually started to go downhill anyways. My parents never did have a really good relationship. I wonder how long their marriage is going to last. Everything is hanging by a thread. My whole life is balanced at the edge of a knife.
What have I done to deserve this? Am I a bad person? Is God punishing me? Why? Why me? WHY!?!?!
Sunday, March 16, 2003 07:00 p.m.
Ugg. I really should be finishing up Great Expectations but I can't. I dunno why, but I don't feel like reading it. So, for the first time in my life, I'm gonna be a bad girl and read summaries from Sparknotes.com.
I'm trying to comfort myself with the thought that I *will* be reading the book for real larter on, which I will. ::sigh:: I just have too much to do right now. >.<
Friday, March 14, 2003 01:00 p.m.
>.< Took my social studies test today. I didn't do too well on it. All those questions on a Tale of Two Cities...bleg. I hate that book. ::sigh:: I'm not in a very good mood right now, but I'm ok.
Thursday, March 13, 2003 08:39 p.m.
I really should be studing for the social studies test tomorrow. REally, I should. I *have* to get a good grade on it because I have a 89.4 in that class. That really sucks. According to my best friend, I used to have a 98%. How did it drop so fast? Probably 'cause of the times paper we did in class. I got a 33/48. I never do well on those things. How am I ever going to survive *AP* Government and politics next year? I hope I get an easy teacher.
::sigh:: I'm down in the dumps right now. It's all ;cause of my grades. In comp sci, I have a 93.somethin'. It used to be a 99%. Why are all of my grades dropping? Why? All I want is good grades, then, maybe...maybe my parents will be proud of me.
I mean, it's so hard for me to get straight A's. I almost never do. But then, my sister always gets straight A's and it's so easy for her. It's not fair. I was the one that studied my butt off, not her. So why is she getting the higher grades? It doesn't help that she's practically had the same exact teachers I did, and the fact that she's younger than me. What did I do to deserve this?
The world's against me.
My grades so far are as following. 93 in Comp sci, 89.4 in social studies, 89.3 in science, 85 in math, 87 in english, a B in spanish, and I have no idea about PE. The end of the quarter's coming up soon. Can I pull up my grades? I hope so.
Well, I hafta go study, study, study! Ja!
Wednesday, March 12, 2003 01:33 p.m.
Well, I just finished my ACSL theory test. I couldn't get #1, hell, I didn't even try. -.-;;; I totally forgot how to do it. Lol. I just recieved my score. You know what is is? A big fat ZERO. >.<
At least I can make it up with the ACSL program. I got a 3/5 on that and it's extra credit. Yay! ^^ It's not like my grade is in trouble or anything. I have a 99%, and once I turn in my extra credit, I will have, like, a 127%. ^^
Oh yes, and today I took the Bio test. I am so happy! It was an easy test! Well...it did make me think a bit, but I know all (most) of the answers, and the extra credit was sooo easy. So, right now, I am a happy person! ^^
So hungry , though. FOOD...I *need* food. I didn't eat my lunch again, I was in the media center, online, at ff.net. ^^ I should take care of my body more, but...::shruggs:: oh well. I'll eat during debate.
Tuesday, March 11, 2003 05:05 p.m.
Goddess of the Moon. Beauty, yet a sadness lurks
about you at times. But hey, pain is beauty,
right?
What element would you rein over? (For Girls)
brought to you by Quizilla
Tuesday, March 11, 2003 01:49 p.m.
Arrg. I'm stuck on the stupid ACSL program. Well, I can't really complain much, buecause it's a lot easier than the previous one. I've got 3/5 of it done, but now I'm stuck. ::sigh:: -.-;;; Help.
Monday, March 10, 2003 10:08 p.m.
::yawn:: So tired...my sis wants me to come up with a "good" name (penname) for her. Ya know, like I have Renangel, and my other half has SilverRay. I say, who cares? Just use something like Iris-sama for cryin out loud!
Lol. She just said "You're so mean to me." Lol. Well, I'd better stop now, since the brat and my mom is being annoying. JA!
Monday, March 10, 2003 01:04 p.m.
Arggg. I'm really mad at Suki suki right now. I'd logged in on the computer and everything, but he had to go and shut it down!!! >.< What's his problem!?!
Moving on, my hands *hurt*. I just came from PE, and we were playing crab soccer. It's basically the same as soccer, but you can only move on your hands and feet in the shape of a "table" ...like a crab. Also, the ball isn't a regular soccer ball, but a *huge* red bouncy ball. I want one! Anywayz, the game is really fun, but it hurts you hands a lot.
Sunday, March 9, 2003 07:58 p.m.
Argg. I'm waiting for my picture to upload on villagephotos so I can fix up my blog. ::sigh:: It's taking too long. FF.net isn't working right now, but I just read everything earlier, so I'm not freaking out...yet.
I *really* should be doing my english. I'm soooo behind in Great Expectations. I also should study for my vocab test tomorrow. I have so many (too many) tests this week. I really don't want to go to school, but I have to. I feel like closing my eyes and going to sleep...forever. If I do that, will anyone miss me?
What is it with me and always talking about suicide and stuff? Maybe it's a cry for something...but what? Help? Attention? I'm not quite sure why I do that. Is it because I want to feel loved? I often wonder what would happen if I did go through with it. I would imagine that my parents and my brat sister would all feel reallly bad about how they treat/treated me. I wonder if they'd cry for me?
Sunday, March 9, 2003 02:37 p.m.
Right now I'm listening to snippiets of different songs of Evanescence. I *really* like that group. Their songs just seem to fit with my mood most of the times. I guess it's because the lyrics are depressing and angsty. I'm an angsty type of person, probably because of my life.
The song I'm listening to is "Going Under." I think my favorite line was "Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself." I dunno why, but I seem to like it. I'm thinking about doing a ficcie to this sone, and Inuyasha one. If I do decide to do one, the only thing I know is that it ain't gonna be a happy one.
However, even though I'm listening to this song, one of the ones I happen to like is "Tourniquet."
i tried to kill the pain
but only brought more
i lay dying
and i'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
i'm dying praying bleeding and screaming
am i too lost to be saved
am i too lost?
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
do you remember me
lost for so long
will you be on the other side
or will you forget me
i'm dying praying bleeding and screaming
am i too lost to be saved
am i too lost?
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my wounds cry for the grave
my soul cries for deliverance
will i be denied Christ
tourniquet
my suicide
I guess I like this one because it's *really* angsty and it talks about things that I'll bnever have the guts to do, but want to. (mainly suscide)
::sigh:: Depressing entry, ain't it?
Saturday, March 8, 2003 02:46 p.m.
I hate my dad. I HATE HIM, I HATE HIM, I HATE HIM!!! Why can't he ever shut up and LEAVE ME ALONE!?!?! I was crying all morning because of him. My eyes are really dry right now and I probably look splotchy.
Ok, it was like 9:50 in the morning and he woke my sister and I up. Really rudely, I might add.Then, he was yelling at us all through breakfast about how we never study, and other such stuff.(Actually, it was more like he was yelling at us the whole entire morning.) (Oh yeah, my mom had gone out to exercise, that's why he could yell and make us feel miserable.) He then goes on this whole tirade about how we always listen to our mom and never to him. First of all, that's not true, and he knowsa it. Next, my mom never yells at us like he does, and never tries to put us down.
Then, he kept piling up all sorts of work for us to do. Do a whole entire SAT (the math portion) timed. Clean up the living room. Take up the clothes. Clean up your room. Blah, blah, and blah.Yeah. So then he goes and disables our accounts on the computer. (I'm online because my mom took me to the library) And you know what? He says that we can't read any books! Can you believe that!?! Don't read. What kind of parent tells their child not to read!?! I know that many parents would *kill* just to have their kids pick up a book by themselves. He should be happy that we read, not ban us from doing it.
By then, I'd gone up to my room and locked the door. About twenty minutes (maybe ten) later, he comes and starts banging on my door. Really loudly too. I open it up and he just starts yelling in my face about "who do I think I am?" and not to lock my door and other such crap. He even said that if I even locked my door again, he'd take off the hinges of it and then I wouldn't have a door. Does anyone see a problem here?
I started crying after he left. It was just too much. WHy can't I have a loving parent like most people do? What did I do to deserve this. All I want is to hear from him that he's proud of me and he loves me and other such things. I never heard (not ONCE) *ANY* of these. I want him to say things like "You tried my best and thats what counts", and "I'll always be there for you, no matter what." No one's every said anything even remotely like this to me. No one really cares, do they? All I hear is how stupid I am, how I'm not good enough, how everyone else is better than me, how I don't try hard enough, how I should be ashamed of myself, and how my cousins and Austin are going to get somewhere in this world and I won't. Sometimes, I just wonder if I should just commit suicide and end all of this pain. I'm a really sensitive person and it really hurts when someone says that to me...from my dad too.
Sometimes, I feel like I'm all alone in the world, like no one cares. They probably don't. Why can't anyone love me? Am I really a horrible person? Do I really deserve to go theough this pain? If I did something wrong, I'm sorry. I really am. What will it take for someone to love me? What will it take for my parents to be proud of my? Why can't anyone just like me because of who I am? I'm always striving to be better because maybe if I am...maybe if I'm the best...then maybe...maybe my dad will love me. My heart's starting to hurt. Pray excuse me while I go cry my eyes out.
Wednesday, March 5, 2003 08:17 p.m.
My tummy hurts. I've been feeling a bit funny ever since I ate two of those gummy bear vitamins that my mom broght home. I'm feeling like I did when I used to have to eat those nasty Flintstones vitamins. Maybe it's because I just don't agree with vitamin tablets in general?
Dangit. I hafta complete a whole entire science lab tonight. >.<
Tuesday, March 4, 2003 02:13 p.m.
I HATE BUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid Bush, stupid stupid STUPID!!!!! Him and his *stupid* war. Him and his *stupid* "Axis of Evil". Can't he see that he's just alienating the US from its' allies? No, of course he can't. He's a straight C student. Why did he ever make it into the position of President? I'll tell you why, it's because he rich. Bleg.
Someone please assisanate Bush. No, wait, that wouldn't work. Then we'd have Cheny for President. But then again, he's about to croak anyways.
Why am I ranting about Bush? It's because of his STUPID war on Iraq that the exchange students from Japan won't be coming over. ARRRGGGGG!!!! I HATE HIM!!!!!!!
Tuesday, March 4, 2003 12:11 p.m.
Arg. I found out that I missed lacrosse tryouts. Eep! Oh well, Angela told me that I can still try out today...demo, I haven't turned in my paperwork!!! >.< I wonder if I can still try out? I'll have to call my mom at work as soon as the bell rings so I can fill out the rest of the info on my paperwork. I *really* hope Ms. Masnick will still accept it.
I just came from PE and I'm all sweaty. Ack. Very hot. >.< It doesn't help matters that my soda exploded on me. Help.
Sunday, March 2, 2003 12:41 p.m.
Well, I just finished a whole bunch of online tests and posted the results here. I'm in a better mood right now, but I'm still *very* angry at my dad.
Sunday, March 2, 2003 09:48 a.m.
I hate my dad. I hate him I hate him I hate him I HATE HIM!!!!!! ARRRGGGGG!!! He won't leave me alone, and he thinks he can rule my life! He's even gone so far as to suspend my account on the computer and I only have it for three hours today to do my homework. FUCK HIM!!!
It's not *my* fault he lost his job. It's not *my* fault that he hasn't gotten off of his lazy ASS to actually *look* for one, so he's been unemployed for almost two years. It's not *my* fault his so called friends are staying away from him because he's being too PIGHEADED to ask for help in finding a job. It's not *my* fault that his savings money is depleting so quickly. It's not *my* fault that he HAVE NO LIFE!!!!! It's not *my* fault my mom hates him. In fact, I think she has every right to hate you. 'cause you know what? I HATE YOU TOO!!!!
FUCK HIM! FUCK HIM! FUCK HIM!!!!!!!
Thursday, February 27, 2003 01:01 p.m.
::yawn:: I'm soo tired. I should be at home sleeping in my nice warm bed!!! But noooo....I'm stuck at school when I shouldn't even be here in the first place!!! It was snowing so freakin hard this morning, so why am I at school!?!?!
I'll tell you why, it's because of the fuckin superintendent at the Board of ed! He/She's from New York! So *it* has seen a lot of snow so it thinks that this snow is just a little and we can still go to school. Well I have just one...no two words for it.
FUCK YOU!!!
Wednesday, February 26, 2003 07:45 p.m.
ARGGG!!! Why can't my idiot of a dad leave me alone!?!?!?!?! He's *so* infuriating! He keeps saying that I should listen to Presiden't Bush's speech about what the US will gain from the war with Iraq.
Does it *look* like I care!?! Bush is just a stupid, pathetic excuse for a man. I mean, he's a *total* embarresment to the US. Can't he *see* that we're alienating ourselves with this pursuit of the war.
Are all men this stupid?
Tuesday, February 25, 2003 01:21 p.m.
OMG... Motoki is the *wierdest* person on the face of this earth. He's watching all of these *disturbing* videos online.
...
I'm speechless.
Monday, February 24, 2003 01:18 p.m.
Motoki sits next to me in comp sci now...-.-;;;. I'm doomed. He has the *ugliest* plastic baboon with him. (and when I say ugly, I *mean* ugly! It's hideious!) Anywayz, now he's buggin' me and I think I've been sent to hell. What sin have I committed?
Motoki: "What is x^n?"
Me: ... -.-;;;
He *really* needs a life.
Saturday, February 22, 2003 09:28 p.m.
I think I've officially driven my sister insane...and myself too. Anywayz, she wouldn't let me on the computer, so I just sat next to her and started singing. (waaaayyyy off tune and very screechily , by the way) It was usually to whatever song she was playing on the computer. She told me that she wanted to kill me a couple of times. Lol.
Anywayz, I finally got ont the computer, but now I have a headache and my throat's a little sore. -.-;;;
Saturday, February 22, 2003 02:36 p.m.
See Spot.
See Spot run.
Jane sees Spot run.
Go Spot!
That's what my brat sis and I were saying during lunch. -.-;; Sounds familiar? I think everyone knows this. It's one of the first things you read when yiu're learning how to. At least, that's one of the first things the brat and I read.
Friday, February 21, 2003 01:43 p.m.
Ack! No one's online! I've already read all of the updates on ff.net! There's *nothing* to do!!!!!! ::wails:: I'm sooooo bored!
Well...I am making another music video, but that's not really fun. I wanna read ficcies!!! Demo, there's nothing really updated. *sob* T.T
Thursday, February 20, 2003 06:04 p.m.
My comp's actin funky... a lot of things are freezing up. >.< Oh well, I think it's better now. ::shruggs::
::sigh:: No one's on line. I so *BORED*!!!!!!! >.<
Thursday, February 20, 2003 04:12 p.m.
WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! No school tomorrow!!!!! WAHAHAHA!!!!! I am in a good mood, can't you tell? ^^
Thursday, February 20, 2003 11:19 a.m.
Noooo... I hafta go to piano lessons soon. >.< ::wails:: SOMEBODY *SAVE* ME!!!!
Wednesday, February 19, 2003 07:12 p.m.
NOOOOOO!!!! I have to go to piano lessons tomorrow!! >.< I *hate* going to piano lessons. Not only do I hate playing the piano, but I *really* don't like my piano teacher either. She get irritated so easily and the *slightest* semi-bad thing she says, my mom pounces on and then yells at me for. It's not fair! Shouldn't playing piano be about enjoying myself? It's not supposed to be about how good you are. And how can I enjoy myself if I'm constantly fearing what my bitch of a piano teacher's going to say to my mom and how my mom will react to it.
Not only that, but I really don't like her teaching style either. I *really* don't get what she's saying half of the time, so I just bull-shit my way though lessons. Just nod you head and say 'uh-huh' and then you'll be me for the lesson. (I also do that whenever my dad goes into one of his insane *lectures* You know, he's been going into a lot of those lately. I mean, he yells at me for an hour or so and get soooo annoying and bitchy. Then, wait a few hours and he's acting like it never happened! And then, after a while, he starts yelling at me again. Once, he kept me in his room, talking about useless stuff until 11 o'clock PM!!! ARRRGGG!!! He's so frustrating! It's like he's pregnant or somethin'!)
Oh yes, back to the subject. My piano teacher's also veeeerrrrryyyy wierd. And I mean WIERD! She's always using these wierd metaphors and comparing the piano music to stuff like food. This is her sometimes: "You're missing the main course!" or "Where are the vegetables!?!" Hellooo! Vegetables?
Wednesday, February 19, 2003 04:37 p.m.
WAHOOO!!!! Someone in heaven loves me!!!!! I found out that there's no school tomorrow! ^.^ I am in a happy mood right now.
Actually, I found out about the no school thing when I was reading my other half's blog. IT's the only one I read besides my brat sis's, wich, by the way, is *really* pitiful. She updates like every week, and each update is 1-2 sentences long. -.-;;;
Wednesday, February 19, 2003 04:29 p.m.
ARRRGGG!!! My programs aren't working, nothing's being updated, and I have to go to school tomorrow!!! LIFE AIN'T FAIR!!! >.<
I still have sooo much of Great Expectations to do, and there's a vocab test tomorrow too. Phoey. I want more school dayz off.
Nothing's going my way!!!! ::wails::
Help. ::sob::
Tuesday, February 11, 2003 03:01 p.m.
I just finished watching AD Police. OMG... I am speechless.
I must admit, in the beginning, when I first started watching it, I really didn't like it. To me, I didn't really see a story plot and, frankly, it was almost a "guy" anime. I'm not really into all of that blowing up stuff crap.
But...it got a lot better and, in the end, I loved it! The ending was kinda bittersweet, though. Demo, that 's part of what makes me love it. For the entire last episode, I was crying my eyes out. T.T It's sooo sad!!! ::sniff:: Poor Hans.
Monday, February 10, 2003 09:00 p.m.
OMG!!!! Dad is sooo ANNOYING!!! He won't leave me alone! ARRRGGG!!!! >.< He's going on and on about this whole entire high-school course selections and what I should take and why I shouldn't take what I want to take. It's as if he thinks he can rule my life!
Hellooooo! It's *my* life, NOT his! Besides, he went to high school all the way in Taiwan. That's on the other side of the *world*! Things are doe waaaaaayyyy differently there!
*I'm* the one going to school here. *I'm* the one who should be deciding what I want to do for a living. What right does that pompous baffoon have to try and rule my life!?!?! NONE!!!!!!!
Monday, February 10, 2003 06:07 p.m.
MY TOES!!! MY FINGERS!!! I CAN'T *FEEL* THEM!!!! What are the symptoms for frostbite?
Damn my mom. DAMN HER!!! She *made* me go out and shovel the snow at 6 PM. PM!!!! When there's nooo sunlight! She's crazy!!! ARRRGGG!!!!! Why do I have such a disfunctional family!?!?! WHY!?!?!
And, to make matters worse, I have to go back out there at eight! I mean, the snow hasn't even stopped falling! And it's not like she going to work tomorrow!
>.< I *really* hate her right now. I think I'm seeing red.
Sunday, February 16, 2003 04:35 p.m.
It's *still* snowing!!! Last I heard, we had around 2 feet of snow. YAY! ^^
...Demo...that means I'll have TONS of snow to shovel off of the driveway...crap. >.<
Sunday, February 16, 2003 12:27 p.m.
ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGG!!!!! My Dad is sooo annoying! Here I am, minding my own buisness and doing my comp sci homework and he just barges in and starts spewing a whole bunch of nonsense from his mouth. I didn't even get half of what he was talking about! He lost me about 3 minutes in; everything else just went over my head.
Just because he does programming as part of his job (What job? He's been sacked for more than a year now...-.-;;;), he thinks he's sooo much better than everyone else. ARRRGG!! What is it with men and thinking that they're sooo much better than everyone!?! Sometimes I'd *really* like to tell him to stuff what he saying and shove it all up his ass! I can't say much more because I'm soo angry that I can't really form coherent thoughts! >.< ::steam coming out of my ears::
On a brighter note, ff.net is back up. Yay! ^^
Saturday, February 15, 2003 04:59 p.m.
Well, I just came back from lunch and Blockbusters. The brat and I rented an anime called AD Police. I've never heard of it, but it looks ok. I really wanted to rent Slayers the movie or Ninja Scroll, but they didn't have a copy of the DVD. (It was there but it was all checked out) Phooey. >.<
Annoyed
Friday, February 14, 2003 10:11 p.m.
ARRRGGGG!!!!! >.< Fanfiction.net isn't working!!!! NNNNOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! ::sigh:: This is not good. Well...the main page said it wouldn't work today because they're doing something (somethin to do with moving the non fanfiction over to a new site) but that doesn't matter! All I write and read is FANfiction, *not* original fiction! So, the people who wrote the original fiction can SCREW off! We don't need a new site!
I am so selfish, but isn't everyone? Can't anything go my way for once? I mean, I'm not asking for a whole lot here...
Friday, February 14, 2003 06:32 p.m.
Remember the whole entire terriosim thing my dad was going crazy over? Well, I just heard that Howard County schools have stockpiled enough bottled water and food to last three days if terriosts do decide to attack. With the *schools* are acting this, I have to wonder...what are the chances of being attacked? Will America be attacked, and if so, will how will it effect me?
Friday, February 14, 2003 04:21 p.m.
I just came back from watching Daredevil and eating lunch. Lunch was at three...kinda late, huh? I'm sooo full right now. I think I'll burst...linerally. If anyone touches my stomach I'll hurl. Lol.
As for the movie, it was AWESOME!!! I *really* liked it, yes I did. ^^ The music for it was really cool too. I think I'll buy the soundtrack. My favorite line of the movie was "Nobody's innocent" 'cause, in truth, no one really is innocent. One of the reasons I liked this movie so much was because it had a bittersweet ending. The main character didn't have everything go his way, in fact almost nothing went the way he wanted it too. Another reason I liked that movie was because it was so touching. I almost cried about five times. ^^;;;
Neewayz, I really hafta go now. I've got less than half an hour to finish my tutoring homework before my Mom comes home. >.< Hope I can make it.
Thursday, February 13, 2003 04:36 p.m.
Well, I just wrote a new ficcie...yup, *another* one. ::sigh:: I never seem to learn, do I? I have so many unfinished ones out there already and I'm starting a new one. Did any of the doctors drop me on my head when I was born? I'm doomed. >.<
Wednesday, February 12, 2003 08:23 p.m.
My dad is soooo parinoid. I mean, he's always saying stuff about terriost attacks and how we have to be ready and blah blah blah. Just the other day, after he picked me up from school, he dragged me to the grocery store to buy provisions and stuff. Now, we have three packs of water in the basement along with tons of canned soups and a can opener. He also took my sister's battery powered radio and has extra batteries.
But you know what's the most ridiculous thing? He bought a whole roll of duck tape. He says it's gonna be used to seal off windows and doors (you know, the cracks) when a chemical attack happens. -.-;;; Like that's gonna be of any help!
My dad's gone bonkers. -.-;;;
Tuesday, February 11, 2003 01:01 p.m.
Well...I just failed my spanish test...but that's ok! I dunno why, but I'm hyper right now! ^.^ I know I should be feeling bad about my Spanish test, but for some reason I can't. Lol. I'm wierd.
Wel, my other half abandoned me in Comp Sci. She traded seats with Motoki who, by the way, has no idea. Wait...he just found out, and do you know what he said? "Crap." Lol.
Feelin' a little low right now... T.T
Monday, February 10, 2003 02:43 p.m.
fuck. I'm in a baaaad mood right now. Hell, I'm PISSED! Fanfiction.net isn't working!!! One of the *only* bright spots in my life has been extinguished. I read fanfiction, not because I enjoy it, (but I still do) but because it's the only way I can escape the bonds that keep me here in this dismal place; this little piece of Hell that's been so thoughtfully given to me.
Trapped. That's what I am.
Fettered. Look at my picure for cryin out loud. You see Sue? That girl inside the cage? That's me. You see the poem? Maybe I should make it clearer:
Trapped behind these iron bars,
Passing storms have left their scars,
Chains and shackles tie me down,
Heart and soul forever bound.
I wrote that. Yup, I sure did. It's just a little insight on my outlook on life. What do you get from it?
F . E . T . T . E . R . E . D
Monday, February 10, 2003 02:25 p.m.
ARRGGGG!!!!!! !#$^&*@(%$&)!#$^*)!&$^)!&%^*!#$_)%!*!!! ::tears at hair in frustration:: My Dad is just soo annoying, inconsiderate, *unbelievable*, and just so...oooooohhhhh! I can't even say it! ::steam pouring out of ears:: I mean, it's SNOWING outside, very hard I might add, and he can't even get off of his lazy bum and pick me up! I had to walk most of the way home IN THE SNOW while *he* just stays at home (without a job for *over* a year) and SLEEPS!!!! ARRRGGGG!!! I CAN'T *BELIEVE* HIM! I mean, here I am, freezing my butt off and walking in the snow and he can't even have the decency to pick me up!!!!
However, (I'm still mad at my dad) I did manage to get a ride from someone's dad, even though I had already walked most of the way home. Hey, it's the thought that counts. Still, if her dad can pick her up, why can't my dad do that? It's not like he has anything important to do. OOOOHHH!!! >.< It gets me soooo mad!!!
Sunday, February 9, 2003 07:38 p.m.
ARRRGGGG!!! I can't do my ACSL program! >.< It's impossible! I have no idea where to *begin*!!! Help...
On a brighter note, I watched Shanghai Knights today. It was *hilarious* but the plot wasn't really that good. Rush hour 2 was better.
I also finished a book called AURIAN by Maggie Furey. It's the first book in a series and it's *really* good! I recommend it to everyone. ^^
There's a chance that it'll snow tonight/tomorrow morning. I really hope it does, 'cause I don't want to go to school. There's also a chance of snow on Monday night. I hope it does snow then too. If it snows both times, this week will be the best! ^^
Saturday, February 8, 2003 01:18 p.m.
I am so BOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEDDDD!!!!!!!! Argg! I know I should be doing my homework, but I just can't seem to make myself do it. -.-;; Pathetic, huh? ::sigh:: I'm bored. >.< What should I dooooo!?!?!
Friday, February 7, 2003 10:10 a.m.
IT SNOWED!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!! No school today! Ahem ::cough:: ::cough:: I'm okay. ^^ Just very happy right now. =^.^=
Thursday, February 6, 2003 08:05 p.m.
IT'S SNOWING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^^ I might not have to go to school tomorrow! ^^ I *really* don't want to, because I have three test tomorrow. >.< ::bleg:: So, right now I'm HAPPY!! WAAAHHHOOOO!!!!! ^^ [and a little hyper too]
Welp, my dad just came back from Taiwan! ^^ He brought me back two DVD box sets: Crest of the Stars and Nadesco. I thought he was going to bring back NOIR, but I guess he couldn't find it. {Funny though, when I was talking to him over the phone he said he got it. ::shruggs:: He probably just thought that the Nadesco one was the NOIR one since they both start with N}
A little jealousy's goin through my systems right now. The Brat [aka my sis] got 3 box sets of IY and a TV special. I have two of the box sets, but I don't have the third one or the TV special. Oh well...I can probably cajole [hey look! It's a vocab word! -.-;;;] her into letting me watch the TV special, adn I 've already seen the box set I don't have. I would be nice to own the entire series, though. ::pout:: ::sulks::
Thursday, February 6, 2003 01:50 p.m.
Welp, I just failed my ACSL test...BIG time. Oh yeah, I'm screwed. ::sigh:: My life is not going well right now. I found out that my english grade is an 89%. I NEED an A! If I don't get straight A's from here on out in English, I won't be able to get an A as a final grade! >.<
Motoki no baka. He still doesn't understand the ACSL program. I understand it, but I just don't know how to write it. ::sigh:: Well, at least there's someone who's stupider than me.
Okaaaaayyyyyyy....I just found out that I *really* failed that stupid ACSL test. Everyone else has a different answer than me! BWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! >.<
Suki-Suki is reading this over my shoulder. I really don't want to know what he's thinking right now. Probably thinks I'm crazy. LOL. I think he already knew that. -.-;;;
Wednesday, February 5, 2003 01:43 p.m.
::yawn:: so tired...sleeeeeeeppppp. I need sleeeeeppp. >.< Mr. Hanes (i think i spelled that wrong) is teaching/helping the class of the ACSL program. I don't know if it'll help, but hey ::shruggs:: it's worth it! ^^ At least I understand the blasted program better know...even if i don't understand what he's really talking about.
Oh well, I'll just use what code he gives me and *try* to do the program. I already know I'm not gonna get it.
Hey! I'm not sleepy anymore...well, not as much.
Tuesday, February 4, 2003 01:56 p.m.
AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!! >,< I don't get it!!!! I don't understand it!!!! Damn ACSL, DAMN THEM ALL!!!!! I really want to punch a hole through the computer right now....really!
Okay, Serena....calm. Yes...calm. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10... take a *deep* breath in...and let it out slooowly. Yeeeessssss! ::does not notice that people are shipping me off to a mental institute::
I'm hungry.
Friday, January 24, 2003 10:54 a.m.
Life sucks. You eat, your sleep, and you die. Does it really matter what type of life you lead? I mean, in the end, we all die. No one can stop it. To the universe we're just tiny, miniscruel, microscopic little bugs. Heck, even to the world, we're just little ants. Who cares if we live or die? Who cares about what happens to us? In the end, we're all going to be forgotten one way or another, and then what? Then what was the purpose to our lives? No one will remember us, no one will honor us, and when the human race finally ceases to exist, no one will even know that there once were walking, talking *things* on the Earth. Heck, they probably won't even know that Earth existed in the first place!
Still...I just wonder, what's the point in my life? Why am I trying so hard to *become* something? It's useless anyways.
Alright, I'm done with my little rant. Can anyone else see that I'm in a *really* bad funk right now? ::sigh:: Probably not; no one cares about little old me. I just learned today that no one in my math class got an A on our midterms. Heck, barely anyone got a B. Which makes my chance of getting a B really slim. To top that all off, in the social studies midterm, I know I got a B. I thought I did really well on that too. So, if I get a B on the one test that I *thought* I did really well on, what will I get on the tests I'm not so sure about? This is *really* bothering me.
To make matters worse, my grades for the 2nd quarter aren't that great either. I know I got a B in 3 of my classes, and I'm pretty sure I got a B in one more. So far, I only know of one A that I got. The last class I'm hoping that I got an A in. If it is, then I would have 4 B's and 2 A's for my second quarter grades. My parents are going to kill me. If I die, will anyone visit my grave?
I'm asian; that would probably explain why I'm feeling so down about my grades. To my parents, a B is failure. They're always telling me to get good grades and a whole bunch of other crap about how only the best grades are acceptable. It doesn't help that my sister seems to get straight A's without even trying.
And you know what's worse? I believe them. I know I'll need good grades. That way I can get into a good college and then get a good job, and then earn enough money to ...well...*live*. It's times like these when I hate the modern world. Why couldn't things have stayed simple? I mean, what's the use of learning all of this crap? It's not like we'll need half of it to survive in the reall world. ::sigh:: Life really sux.
~Renangel (not that it really matters or anything)