Nickname: MeryL
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The best way to a guy's heart is through his stomach...
How true. It's seen a lot in anime, and well, in my case, it holds true for Rain-kun. He liked my ham and egg omelette! XD Well, yeah, that's an easy dish to make, but I'm glad he liked it. He asked me to make more. Hihihi! Oh, the small things that can make me happy. XD
Finally, the end of my first term of my last year in DLSU. And yet I'm still stressed! Damn! This term was so deadly, all because of one subject: ECOLOGY! Crap... I really hope I pass. I'm so stressed out even though I'm done with everything... >.< But Rain-kun tried to cheer me up. And I liked his words. They're shallow, but still optimistic.
Rain: at times like these.. its nice to joke around
Rain: and forget about things
The above was from YM just a few minutes ago. Weh... Well, he's had better words before. But this is just one of the few nice "wise words" I could hear from him. At least it removed some of my stress. All I have to do now is hope and pray. I definitely do not want to fail another subject...
You gave me the missing piece to that box...
These were the words Rain-kun told me a week ago. He's reverted... Officialy reverted. He came back to Catholicism on his own accord. My prayers had been answered and I was so happy when he finally told me about his return to the Catholic church. God is such a genius. Rain-kun's conversion came through an enlightenment in the form of Confirmation. Yeah, he's just been confirmed only recently. He told me that after Confirmation, he hit a realization that all those times he considered himself an atheist were just excuses. He was proud and angry with God for some reason and he expressed them through rebellion: being an atheist. But all that doesn't matter now, just like in that parable of the Prodigal Son in the Bible. He was dead, and has come back to life. He was lost and is found. And for that we had to rejoice and be glad. (Lk 15:32).
I've partly made an apostolation, and that makes me feel as if I've done something big for God. It's a real honor. Six years he had been an atheist, and it took only six months to bring him back. And that whole time he was lost, Rain-kun had always felt incomplete and always hated himself more and more. It was as if he was trying to complete a box, but he couldn't, and that made him so irritated. But he told me that with my help, he found the missing piece, and that's when he began to feel complete and light. I guess this is how it really feels to get back the gift of faith. He's happier now, more sociable, and a changed man.
Some men never think of it.
You did. You'd come along
And say you'd nearly brought me flowers
But something had gone wrong.
The shop was closed. Or you had doubts -
The sort that minds like ours
Dream up incessantly. You thought
I might not want your flowers.
It made me smile and hug you then.
Now I can only smile.
But, Look, the flowers you nearly bought
Have lasted all this while.
They are all the commonly said traits of a friend. But what really is a friend? In my opinion, the answer to this question is already inside ourselves. We make our own definition, while most of those mentioned above act pretty much as guidelines. To my mom, a friend is someone whom you learn something from. I suppose that what she said was true... For me, well, a friend is simply someone who can make me smile no matter what the mood I'm in. ^_^ Wehehe... So much for an "insight" type of entry...
At first thesis was JUST paperwork. Paperwork that kills, of course. But that was all it was. I was grouped, or rather "partnered", with my best college buddy (Rain-kun), because of circumstance. Well, I was planning to group with my genius friend, too, but he left me (GAAAAAAH!!! Some friend you are!!! T_T). So anyway, things were going okay; my partner and I submitted our topic (after a long and torturous search for a feasible one) and we were able to submit our first drafts of the review of related literature. Unfortunately, because of all that "shojou romance" I had gotten myself into after that, I was forced by my folks to do the thesis individually. In other words, we had to separate because they wouldn't allow him to ride with us going to Subic, which was the place we were going to do our observations for our thesis. Well, I guess you can already predict what happened after that. We both suffered, but by the looks of it, he suffered more. He had no back up topic and so he had to look for one again. The final thesis proposal is due two weeks from now, and he still has no topic. I don't know if he's the one suffering more or if it's me. It's just that I feel extremely guilty for having to do what I had to do. I was forced, after all, and no matter how many times he tells me that it's not my fault, I still can't shake that feeling off. He's going to fail thesis and be delayed for another schoolyear, all because we became "more than friends". It's a burden I carry everytime I work on my thesis or even hear the word "thesis". As much as I help him and encourage him to look for a thesis and start working on it, I don't know if it's still possible to make it to the deadline. Worst case scenario is that he will fail, otherwise, a miracle will happen, which I hope will.
So, who really is the one suffering more? Him? Or me? Physically, it's most probably him. But emotionally, mentally, and psychologically, it's me. If he really does fail thesis, I don't think I'll be able to forgive myself. I won't do anything bad, of course. But I will still continue to work on mine till graduation, even if it's a burden I'll have to carry on my own shoulders. It will be a scar that probably won't heal for a while.
Phew... Long time since I've updated. Well, I've been busy updating my LJ. Hehehe...
Anyway, a lot's happened since then. According to my previous post, I've done something really brave. Yeah... But about two weeks after that, something unexpected happened... I got a confession and was asked the BIG question... by the same person I confessed to. @_@ Grabe, kilig ako sobra!!! It's like... Yiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!! XD Well, I answered him, and so we were official. My first boyfriend, my first love (cheesy ko noh? >_<). Sadly, we didn't last long. Parents didn't approve 'cause he's an atheist. I don't want to expound more on this since it's really depressing. But what I could say is that even though me and Rain-kun are now forbidden to be together, I will always still consider him as my best and closest friend in college. Sure, I still love the guy, but it's the friendship I'd treasure the most no matter what. Plus, the future is something unknown. He may revert back to being Catholic. It's something I'll hope and pray for. ^_^
Me and him, we had our last moments together. And it was fun. We went out on Valentine's Day (Yiiii!!! First date ko!!! XD). Before classes, we went to Glorietta and played Timezone (Wahahaha! What a date! XD). After that, we ate in Sbarro for lunch. He bought me a bracelet in Parksquare, then we went back to school. Well, actually, back to his condo first, since he wanted to give me my real Valentine's Day gift. It was a silver or white gold (we both didn't know what) necklace. It was a very simple one but even so, nakakakilig pa rin!! Yiiiiiii!!!! XD To get something that expensive from a guy... It's something I'll really treasure. I still wear it until now. Nyehehe... But I felt guilty for not being able to give him anything in return aside from my "love letter". Cheesy ko talaga, but then I had to make that letter. Parang last words lang. Oh well, enough about the kilig factors and whatever. Expounding too much on it can be depressing for me, but as I said, I'm still praying for him. After all, I told him that if he does revert back to being Catholic, I'd wait for him.
My life is a Shoujo anime.
College life continues to get even more interesting each day... And though I promised myself that I wouldn't graduate until I had done something I wouldn't do, I didn't expect myself to do it this early already.
And so I have to add to this list of experiences...
1.) LPEP. Met my first (and now closest) friends in college.
2.) Because of my uncontrollable feminine instincts, I found four guys in my block cute. (Four years of the absence of the opposite sex seemed to have affected me... O_o)
3.) Had issues with a group of people whom I thought would make a great barkada... Unfortunately, I was wrong.
4.) Developed a crush. XD
5.) Was officially renamed to Carmenomitis sp. by Carlis sarionensis and Paulus davidus. (It's a Biology major thing... XD)
6.) Was courted... for the very first time in my life... by my crush's bestfriend... O_O (The love triangle begins...)
7.) Got my very first Valentine's Day gift from the person above.
8.) Rejected #6... about three times. XD (How evil of me...)
9.) Developed an "anime complex" with Paul.
10.) Along with #10, I was influenced by Carl's genius... (For more info, read our chat notebook. XD)
11.) The INCIDENT at Yoti's house happened.
12.) More guys started to develop an interest in me... -_-
13.) ...
...two more numbers indicating the most recent ones.
14.) Developed a close friendship with #9.
15.) Done the bravest thing I have ever done in my life to the person above.
If finding a thesis topic is hard to do, #15 was also just as hard. Imagining it was easy, but actually doing it was a different story. I couldn't talk straight, and I found myself trembling not because of the cold temperature of the library, but because of what I was going to do. But I did it, and I feel a lot better (even though I went through an emotional overload. Ehehe.). He said something that was just enough to make me happy, after all... We'd still be friends, no matter what.
