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New Layout Coming Soon!
Monday, November 30, 2009
04:51 p.m.
So I've already searched for a new layout. I found a promising site. I'll be updating the blog layout as soon as I'm done with my %^&%*&*& exams. Good luck to me. T^T
~~~~~~~~~~Lovely Complex
Monday, November 23, 2009
11:27 a.m.
My cousin and I went to a couple of cons this month. The first one was Anime Overload Festival in MOA and the second one was Mangaholix in World Trade. Anyway, more info about my experience in the cons are written in my DA journal.XD
Anyway, there was this anime I watched before called Lovely Complex and I decided to buy the live action version in the Mangaholix con. It's a cute shoujou. And watching that anime made me feel so reminiscent.
My life is a (Shoujou) Anime...
Now where have we all heard this before? ^_^ Well, yeah, as corny as it sounds, I figured I related to Lovely Complex, especially the main character, Risa Koizumi. Basically the story is about a TALL girl and a SHORT guy who can't even find themselves a gf/bf because of their heights. These two become friends and share a lot in common. Later on the girl falls for the guy because he was just so sweet and nice. XP Ahahaha! Reminds me of a person I know. XD Well, except for the part about Risa being rejected at first, the rest was strikingly similar to what I've been through. He's shorter than me, he's sweet, we have a whole lot in common especially in interests, he had an ex who was shorter than him, and we started as good friends. I also cry a lot. Lol. I've been insecure because of his ex, just like Risa was with Otani's ex. This is just really weird. The similarities are like... Woah. And that was my reaction when I was watching the anime. Every episode I watched reminded me of my relationship with Rain when we were still in college together. Meh. Corny, but still... XD It's cute. Lol.
So yeah, I watched the live action, and I became reminiscent again. It made me miss that relationship with Rain. T^T Lovely Complex... I guess it's safe enough to say that our relationship indeed became complex.
"Insensitive"
Friday, October 30, 2009
11:39 p.m.
So I had another argument with Rain. What else is new. We're always arguing. I realize that it's usually my fault anyway, because I'm forgetful about things... Something he hasn't figured out until now. I'm forgetful. It's not my fault that I'm like that. It's not like I purposely forget. But since it's me, then I guess the blame just has to go to me anyway. I know I'm forgetful. Heck, even my mom gets mad at me because of it. But I can't help it. Now Rain tells me I'm insensitive, something no one else besides him has told me. I don't really know what to feel about that. He wouldn't tell me what I said wrong, and he says that's what hurts him more. Am I that bad? *sigh* I guess maybe I am, even though I don't know exactly why... Then it makes me wonder why he still likes me despite that. If I hurt him a lot without me even knowing it, how come he still puts up with it?
I just wish he was more open with me. He always wants to sleep the issues away so that he would feel better. But he probably doesn't realize that while he does that, it's like I get punished for something I did but didn't understand. I wanted the issue to be resolved right away, but he kept telling me he was upset and he wanted to sleep. It's like he didn't want to listen to me anymore. Well, I let him go anyway. The only answer he gave me was that I was "insensitive". I could have told him that I'm just forgetful, but I doubt that would even sound right. It would probably sound like a pathetic excuse to him, even though it's true...
Now I feel bad, and I don't even know why. Maybe I shouldn't talk to him tomorrow. But I'll just give him the stuff I promised to give him. I doubt he'll really start up a conversation with me on his own anyway. It will probably be better if I didn't initiate anything.
Some of the Things I Like Only Happen in My Dreams
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
04:10 p.m.
It's been a month since I posted an entry here. Well, I'll summarize what's been happening.
First and foremost, my dad is now fine and COMPLETELY healed. It's a miracle really. I knew encephalitis was a rare disease and that usually, patients especially of his age would heal much more slowly. I'm talking months. But my dad defied reality and was hospitalized for about 2 weeks. I thank God for giving back my dad and healing him. I really wasn't ready to lose him. Well it's back to normal now. I hear my dad's corny jokes again and I've been back to joking along with him. Everything's great. ^^
Next, it's just about the start of the next semester of school. I don't know my grades yet, so I have no idea if I passed my semestral subjects. Hopefully I did... I really don't want to fail and repeat another year just because of some stupid minor subject. Anyway, med school is starting to become a pain now, though still incomparable to the first year. So far, I'm still surviving and alive to talk about it.
Third, I ordered a cosplay costume from Ebay. I plan to cosplay Xion from Kingdom Hearts 358/2 on (maybe) Halloween and Anime Overload Festival in MOA on November 8. I've started making the Keyblade out of a PVC pipe and cardboard. The only problem is that the delivery of my costume is delayed. >.< I hope it arrives before Halloween...
Fourth, this one is just recently, and more related to this entry's title... Well, the other night I dreamt about B.K.A. (I swear and hope he knows nothing about my blog... O_o), and well, yeah. *kilig-ness* He wanted to court me. Weh. Definitely something I don't see coming in real life. But I have to admit, it felt nice. I was never really formally courted before. I mean, with Rain, he never actually courted me since I was the first to ask. Weh. I wonder what it's like to be courted though... But anyway, right now I'm in a bad mood with him. That idiot fell asleep on me AGAIN last night. I was so mad last night, and right now I'm not even texting him. I mean, bahala na nga siya. I'll have him text first, and so far he hasn't done it today. Beh... I really don't care anymore if he texts or not. I'm just so annoyed now. And the weird thing is I dreamt just last night that he reconciled with me through text and I was happy. But when I woke up, I saw nothing on my phone. Haaay... Yeah. Some of the things I like only happen in my dreams.
Lastly, before I end this entry, it's my mom's birthday! She is now officially 50 years old. O_o We'll be eating out for dinner this Friday after my class. Yey. ^^
A Promise for Strength
Sunday, September 13, 2009
12:13 a.m.
Today I woke up to the sound of a screaming patient next door. He didn't stop screaming since then...
It's been about a week now since my dad's birthday party. His condition now, well... He was more responsive this morning. I tried my best to joke with him, but I ended up crying after that. Me, my mom, and my half sis stayed with him the whole time. We watched as he slowly deteriorated in front of us. There was something I wanted to tell him before he ever lost consciousness. And I whispered in his ear, trying to control my tears: "Daddy, promise me that you'll be okay. I'll top the board exams for you if you promise me you'll get better. Okay?" He probably heard me, and he only nodded once and ever so slightly, and then he went back to sleep. I don't know if he understood what I said, but I kept his word for it... at least, I tried to.
My cousin and his parents finally arrived to see my dad in this pitiful state. And I saw the pain in their eyes. I knew they were as shocked as I was when I first saw him in the hospital. Only this time, his condition was worse for a first sight. Seeing him bedridden with tubes and wires around him connected to monitors and with a gas mask on his face is not a pretty sight. Sometimes he would even show this painful expression on his face, and either me, my mom, or my half sis would just hold on to his hand, hoping it would offer some small kind of relief. Around later in the afternoon, we were to have him transferred to an isolation room, since encephalitis is viral and contagious.
Me, my mom, my cousin, and his parents attended mass in the hospital, and we all prayed for my dad's recovery. When we got back to the ICU, they were about to move him out to the isolation room. We went with them as they pushed daddy's bed over to the next room while we told him what was happening.
Everything was set. They plugged him back in again to the monitors and stuff. And I watched as they did what they did. I watched my dad, who was sedated before an EEG while we were in mass, squirm around weakly. He looked half conscious, but he was conscious. I broke down and left the room. I was able to calm myself, but when I went back, there was a sudden commotion. I didn't know what was happening, and my mom was crying even more. She looked frustrated and sad at the same time. I asked my mom and my half sis what was going on. My half sister said my dad's oxygen was low and that he wasn't breathing properly on his own. He was tired, so they believed. They had to put him on a respirator. Respirator... That upset my mom a lot. She kept telling me and everyone that my dad always told her, ALWAYS told her, that he didn't want to ever be put on a respirator. When I heard my mom tell me this, I burst to tears again. I went to my dad and told him, no... DEMANDED him to breathe. I reminded him about our promise. I got no response from him even though he heard me. I went straight to my mom and cried with her, and we both went back to watch what they were preparing to do with my dad.
I couldn't stop crying then. I watched as they pulled in the machine. I felt nauseous. I bolted straight to the isolation room bathroom and bent over to the toilet. There, I released it all. I couldn't take it. My dad hated the respirator, but he needed it. He needed it so bad. It was too much for me to watch. I stayed in the bathroom praying and begging the Lord to heal him. I finally came out after I calmed down. My mom, my half sis, and my cousin's parents all cried. And me? I couldn't anymore. I looked at my dad and quietly left with the others to go back up to our guestroom. There we settled down.
My mind was filled with images of my dad the whole way from the ICU isolation room back to the guestroom. And I could barely say a word. My cousin and his parents left to go back home, while my mom and I stayed in the hospital.
It was around 9pm when my dad's brother and sisters came to visit at last. We had to tell them everything that had happened today. And after dinner in the hospital restaurant, we went to the third ICU room my dad was transferred to. Only this time, my dad had even more tubes on him. That image... that was the worst image I could ever see about my dad. He's a doctor. And now, he was on a patient bed in the ICU, with tubes all over him. We all watched him as he slept uncomfortably. In front of his bed was a whiteboard on the wall. On that board I wrote down the promise we made, so that if ever he woke up and could read, he would be reminded of it:
"Daddy,
Get well soon and I'll top the board exam for you. Promise, okay?
I love you.
-Carmen"
And with that, we stayed with him for an hour or two.
My dad doesn't look like a person to break promises, so no matter what; no matter what happens to him, for better or for worse, I believe in him. I believe he will keep that promise and continue fighting for his life. And I'll be sure to keep mine. I continue to pray to God that he will recover completely, despite him being in everything he never wanted to be in.
ICU Bed #2
Saturday, September 12, 2009
12:39 p.m.
My dad's in the ICU right now. He's restless and hasn't even slept yet. He can't talk much now. But he can still understand what's happening and stuff. I really hope he will get better. The doctors now are trying to find out what kind of encephalitis he has, and well, according to them, we have to hope and pray that what he has is the Herpes type, since that's the only one that is treatable...
I really hope Daddy gets better soon. I told him to promise me that he'll get better, and I'll top the board exam when he does. That's my promise to him. The only answer I got was a slight nod of his head. I may have to repeat it again, since his memory is bad. But I am hoping and praying that everything will be alright.
It's really a big war now. My dad against a tiny virus, and me against my emotions. I'm trying as best as I could to be strong. And I guess, my dad is trying his best to fight too. Every minute I have to remind myself to keep standing tall and believe that he'll be alright. There were even so many instances when I wish I was there on that bed in his place. But I know it can't happen. All I can do now, is count on the medications, my dad's strength, and God...
Eighty Two
Friday, September 11, 2009
11:36 p.m.
It's been three days since my dad's surprise birthday party. And now, my dad's in the hospital since yesterday. The diagnosis? They don't know. We don't know. All we know is that he has low sodium and that he has multiple infarcts in his brain. The cause is unknown as of now.
I've kept this to myself. I never told anyone because I always shoved it off. But I'm afraid to say that my gut feeling was right. When my mom announced to me that we were going to hold a surprise party for my dad, well, I was excited to be part of it. She also told me it was the very first surprise party in his life. I was ecstatic. Then a few minutes after hearing that, I got a strong vibe. Something was wrong. For some reason, I got the feeling something was going to happen to my dad after that party. I shoved it off. even the days after, while I made my dad's birthday montage, that gut feeling kept coming back. I ignored it, telling myself "everything is going to be alright". The party went well, as I've described in one of my previous entries. But... now something really did happen to my dad. This is scaring me. A whole lot.
My dad... He can't remember names. Not even his birthday. He can't write his name anymore either... He can't talk much. He's become totally different. And we don't know what's causing it. Why is he like that? What's wrong with him? And better yet, will he go back to normal? I can't stand seeing him the way he is now; in bed smiling at the wrong times, confused... He doesn't even know why he's in the hospital. He didn't know why I told him to get well soon... He didn't know why I was crying and holding his hand... It hurt... So much... I just want him back. I want him back to the way he was. I want him back to normal. To call me all the names he always called me, to tell me all his corny jokes, to go all religious on me with a sermon, to give me med school tips... I want him back... so bad...
So I really hope and pray that my dad will get well soon. I hope and pray he'll be alright. After all, everything will definitely be alright... with God's help. Right?
Meh...
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
11:14 p.m.
Meh. My dad's been hospitalized. The suspected condition is Transient Ischemic Attack. It's a "mini stroke", according to my research. And well, it supposedly a warning for incoming stroke. I just hope my dad will be okay...
On a side note, classes were suspended for the afternoon. I spent the rest of my time using the internet, learning photoshop, and reading some of Pharmacology. Now, it's time for me to sleep...
Bringing Back the Feather Stars and the Onigiri
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
06:48 a.m.
I received a text last night while eating mami noodles in Masuki in Chinatown. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, but ignored it, thinking it was just Rain and I continued enjoying my Beef noodles. A few minutes later, I decided to reply to Rain, only to see that the message was from a number not stored in my phonebook. The text message read:
"Hi carmen ur thesis data have been accepted 4 publication in d phil. J science. Best regards. Dr. Claveria"
I was like... What the--?! OMG! O_O I couldn't believe it. My thesis adviser and the chair of Biology in DLSU really had it done. Woah. Woah! WOAH!!! That's so cool! My name will be on a national journal! Woah! I never really thought my research would make it when my adviser told me he would send it for publication. And, hell, it DID make it! I guess he was right. The part about it being the very first research on feather stars in the country really got it in. I feel very honored. It's just so cool!
Now I know I really graduated from DLSU and brought quite a lot with me. I created memories with a great first boyfriend (lol), became a Dean's Lister once in my life, and even more now, I got my study to be published nationally in the near future. Unfortunately though, when I asked for more details about it, Dr. Claveria told me that it may take a while before it is printed... Around December 2010 issue. O_o Oh well. Lol.
--
Yesterday before leaving for the apartment near school, I made some onigiri. Same flavor as usual, with the seaweed, crab, and sweet egg (cheap style tamago). I used Korean seasoning to add in more flavor. Well, as usual, my creations were tasty! XD
I brought some to school today. I ate one during the short break and gave one to one of the class clowns, Robin. He ate it and liked it. XD Then the other clown, Bjorn, his "boyfriend", wanted one too. Weh. I gave him the last one after lunch. And he said it was yummy. XD
Reminds me of Rain when he first tried my onigiri. He liked it a whole lot and I gave him as much as I could. According to him, they kept tasting better and better each time. XD I guess it's true when they say the way to a guy's heart is through his stomach. In my case, the key to get there is my onigiri. XD
Deviant
Monday, September 7, 2009
12:53 a.m.
Hello! Long time no... er... POST! XD Well, I've been busy, not just with school, but also with my dad's montage. It was his birthday last Friday, September 4. We held a surprise party for him a while ago at 6pm, and yup, he was really surprised. XD He didn't see it coming and never expected it!
We had the party at my half-sister's place. It was her plan as well as my mom's. I was told the details and that I had to make a nice montage for him. So far, the montage was a success! My dad and the guests liked it, especially because of the poem I used (which I will share later. XD). Unfortunately, I wasn't the one who wrote the poem. Lol. And I had to clear that up for the guests. It's plagiarism, you know. XD
Anyway, the funny part was when we were trying to stall my dad before going over to my half-sis's place. My dad was in a hurry to get there, thinking that we were going to eat Spanish food because she was holding a "small" party for him. We had to stall him for about 45 minutes because the guests were running late. O_o Well, fortunately, it was a success, as was the party. XD So, yup. Happy birthday to my dad, and I sure hope he has more birthdays to come! XD
Oh yes, I've finally signed up in DeviantArt, so all my artworks, photoshops, cosplays, and whatever art-related stuff go there. As soon as I changed this bloggy's layout, I'll place the link somewhere. But anyway, if you want to know it now, it's http://realmeryl16.deviantart.com.
I've got no class tomorrow! So more time to rest before I cram. Lol. XD
What Makes A Dad?
Anonymous
God took the strength of a mountain,
The majesty of a tree,
The warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea,
The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of the eagle's flight,
The joy of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need,
Then God combined these qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so,
He called it ... Dad.
You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
12:01 p.m.
I heard this song once on Myx while my cousin was flipping the channels, and I recognized that country style. And again, I liked the song (maybe because it made me flashback about my long lost crushes many years ago. O_o). And since I like two of her songs already, I had my friend download me her whole album. Lol. Lyrics away!
You’re on the phone with your girlfriend, shes upset
Shes going off about something that you said
Cause she doesn’t get your humor like I do
I’m in my room, it’s a typical Tuesday night
I’m listening to the kind of music she doesn’t like
And she’ll never know your story like I do
But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts
She’s cheer captain and I’m on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you’re looking for has been here the whole time
If you could see that I’m the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can’t you see
You belong with me, you belong with me
Walkin’ the streets with you and your worn-out jeans
I can’t help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself
Hey isn’t this easy?
And you’ve got a smile that could light up this whole town
I haven’t seen it in a while since she brought you down
You say you’re fine, I know you better than that
Hey whatcha doing with a girl like that?
She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
Shes cheer captain and I’m on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you’re looking for has been here the whole time
If you could see that I’m the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can’t you see
You belong with me
Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know baby
You belong with me, you belong with me
Oh, I remember you drivin’ to my house in the middle of the night
I’m the one who makes you laugh, when you know you’re ’bout to cry
And I know your favorite songs and you tell me ’bout your dreams
Think I know where you belong, think I know it’s with me
Can’t you see I’m the one who understands you
Been here all along, so why can’t you see
You belong with me
Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know baby
You belong with me, you belong with me
You belong with me
Have you ever thought just maybe you belong with me
You belong with me.
Medical School and Some Drama
Sunday, July 26, 2009
12:55 p.m.
Hello! Long time I haven't posted here. A REAL long time. Well, I'm already a 2nd year in UE. I passed 1st year! Yey! Of course I had low grades, but I passed anyway. Our class got reduced though, since some didn't make it. Especially some of my alphabetical friends. But the two clowns are still there. They made it. Anyway, so far, so good in 2nd year. The tests seem to be much easier than the 1st year, thankfully.
Anyway right now, I feel hot-headed and miserable. I just got so annoyed at many things, I kept quiet, or at least I tried. But it just built up and I exploded. I was very annoyed with many things. School's suspended tomorrow, but I still have to go because I have to interview a patient. A certain fellow moderator isn't doing his job properly. I witnessed loads of hackers in the Guild I'm in in a certain MMORPG, Grand Chase (I left said guild). And then while PvPing Rain, I thought I could release the anger, but unfortunately, it just added to it. You know how I am when a guy beats me too much in something. And Rain can beat me in any video game. It annoys me to the bone. I'd be so happy if there was one game I can beat him in. Childish, you say? Well, that's just me. Everybody wants to be good at something, in at least one thing. And my pride is on the very thing I keep losing in. Now I pretty much exploded on Rain and he got really mad it seems. We both know how I always feel when he's mad at me. And well, yeah I feel it again. Only this time, it's worse. Because I know it's my fault and I'm sure he wouldn't want anything to do with me anymore. I don't blame him... And I probably deserve it...
Love Story - Taylor Swift
Sunday, March 8, 2009
03:31 p.m.
If the ending of this song really happened, then this song would really fit my love story. ^_^
We were both young when I first saw you.
I close my eyes and the flashback starts:
I'm standing there on a balcony in summer air.
See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns.
See you make your way through the crowd
and say hello;
Little did I know
That you were Romeo; you were throwing pebbles,
And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet."
And I was crying on the staircase,
begging you, 'Please, don't go.'"
And I said,
"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'"
So I sneak out to the garden to see you.
We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew.
So close your eyes; escape this town for a little while.
'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter,
And my daddy said "Stay away from Juliet,"
But you were everything to me; I was begging you, 'Please, don't go,'"
And I said,
"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'
Romeo save me - they're tryin' to tell me how to feel;
This love is difficult, but it's real.
Don't be afraid; we'll make it out of this mess.
It's a love story - baby just say "Yes.'"
Oh.
I got tired of waiting,
Wondering if you were ever comin' around.
My faith in you was fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town,
And I said,
"Romeo save me - I've been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting for you but you never come.
Is this in my head? I don't know what to think-"
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said,
"Marry me, Juliet - you'll never have to be alone.
I love you and that's all I really know.
I talked to your dad - go pick out a white dress;
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'"
Oh, oh.
We were both young when I first saw you...
Reminiscence
Thursday, February 19, 2009
07:14 a.m.
Good morning. I just decided to blog now since I'm in the mood. I had a weird dream last night. I dreamed about an old grade school friend. I probably talked about him in a previous post. He's one of those guys I er... controlled myself not to develop on. Well, I dreamed that I developed some kind of crush on him and, well... yeah. Anyway, I woke up and I suddenly started missing the guy. When I think about it, if I had spent a little more time hanging around with him, I probably would have started liking him that way. But weh... We graduated and went to our own high schools. Then I started remembering all my grade school friends and how I miss them now after remembering him. Weh... Maybe I can catch them sometime on YM...
~~~~~~~~~~A Hollow Valentine's Day
Saturday, February 14, 2009
11:02 a.m.
Today is Valentine's Day...
And it's the first time that I felt so empty on Valentine's.
Even before I had a boyfriend, I didn't feel this empty. I was just cynical about the day. When I met Rain, everything became so alive. Valentine's Day was much sweeter then. But now, I can't seem to go back to how it was before I had him...
My Valentine's Day is completely empty.
A Remnant From The Past
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
08:08 p.m.
Lookie! Look at what I dug up!
http://www.geocities.com/meryl_chu
It's the first blog I ever made! XD It's dated back when I was still 15 years old. I was about 3rd year high school that time. There isn't much in the blog. But still... Wow. A long lost blog, gone for about 5 years. Hahahaha! It's a cute blog. XD That time I wasn't so knowledgeable about HTML. Geocities had a lot of click and drag. Anyway, I'll be adding this bloggie to my list of links later when I feel like it.
Birdies!
Monday, February 2, 2009
01:49 p.m.
Mweh... I just finished the 5th set of exams last week. They were hard. T^T Really hard. Especially Biochemistry. Biochemistry will always be hell. Waahh...
Anyway, our new birds, Silver and Scyther (formerly Polly, to be given to my cousin), are fully feathered now and sooooo adorable! XD Unfortunately, Silver is still severely splayed. Scyther is splayed too, but can still walk normally. Scyther walks like a penguin though. It's quite amusing sometimes. XD Silver on the other hand can barely walk. Silver practically crawls. T^T Poor baby. I haven't clipped Silver's wings yet. When I get back, I'll have to trim them down. Yesterday Silver flew and nearly landed right into the Koi Pond. @_@ I was scared. Anyway, I just hope that the baby will be able to live normally. Huhu... Oh, and we have eggs again. So quick, huh? O_o
Weh... Next month is March. March is when school ends. OMG. March is when school ends. I hope I survive 1st year. I hell want to be promoted. Biochem is torture! I want to be promoted!!! Wahhh... I WILL BE promoted. I WILL!!! *_*
Heaven - DJ Sammy
Monday, January 26, 2009
03:16 p.m.
I just listened to this song last night. Mweh. Cheesy love song coming through. Wala lang.
Baby you're all that I want.
When you're lying here in my arms
I'm finding it hard to believe
We're in heaven.
Oh, thinking about all our younger years,
There was only you and me,
We were young and wild and free.
Now nothing can take you away from me.
We've been down that road before,
But that's over now.
You keep me coming back for more.
Baby you're all that I want.
When you're lying here in my arms
I'm finding it hard to believe
We're in heaven.
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart.
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven.
Now, nothing could change what you mean to me.
There's a lot that I could say
But just hold me now,
Cause our love will light the way.
Baby you're all that I want.
When you're lying here in my arms
I'm finding it hard to believe
We're in heaven.
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart.
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven.
Now our dreams are coming true.
Through the good times and the bad
I'll be standing there by you.
(We're in heaven.)
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart.
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven.
Dilemma
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
06:15 p.m.
Weh... I don't know what to think anymore. I'm feeling guilty, frustrated, and sad at the same time. Yeah, it's all about Rain again. >.< I feel guilty because I said some horrible things to him last weekend without knowing what was really happening to him. I feel frustrated because until now, he's still not progressing much with he thesis. And I feel sad, because I'm already doubting if we'll get to hang around with each other again. Weh... I really don't know what to do anymore. He has so much on him and everytime I think about it, I start to feel the weight too. I can't avoid thinking about it either. After all, I also have a fault in this mess. Everything was still my fault if we look back into it. It's hard to talk to him about it too. Everytime I ask or try to get him to talk about it, we both depress ourselves. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know if I should just worry about him in silence, or if I should continue telling him about it. But then, so far, it's been the same each time I tell him. And I don't want to pressure him anymore. Maybe it really is better if I worry in silence. Weh... That also gets me thinking about his happiness. Every Sunday or anytime I get the chance, I always pray for his happiness. I pray for him to get his thesis done so that he could be happy. But Rain tells me that I'm his happiness, and just last weekend, I threatened to take away that happiness without me truly knowing what it was that made him happy. I just wanted him to concentrate on his thesis more. But, if I am really his happiness, and since I always pray that he'd always be happy, what am I supposed to do? I can't wait for him that long if he doesn't graduate this school year. I really want him to be happy, but... Weh... I don't know what to do...
~~~~~~~~~~Poetry of Biochemistry
Monday, January 19, 2009
04:15 p.m.
Mweh. I'm bored. I've been a bit stressed out for the past few weeks. I had a lot of school work and an exam to work on. Weh. One of the homeworks I had to do was for Biochemistry and had something to do with pregnancy. I kinda had fun working on it (*gasp* Biochemistry? Fun? O_o). No, really, I did have fun, because I tried to make it fun. Lol. Well, they said "utilize creativity and be innovative.. blah blah". So what I did was make a poem! XD I hope it's creative enough for them. I'm not an artsy person and I'm more literary, obviously. XD Anyway, I'll end this entry with the poem. ^^
The Poetry of Pregnancy
At last, the time has come,
Yet still I begin to doubt;
This nausea, this dizziness, the pain,
I will stand to carry out.
Gas, oil, and anything fried;
The horrible aroma that I used to like
Makes me vomit, and more uneasy
And, oh, the pain can reach its pike.
This is how it started
When I conceived you.
Aside from pain, I had nothing,
But other women do.
Yes, I had nothing at all;
From high blood pressure
And the spotting; however,
Other women had it for sure.
For the first three months,
You were a darling little saint.
But I hated some scents
And was dizzy and faint.
Time passed by and I
Was gaining much weight
The chow was so delicious
And so I couldn’t wait.
My breasts were getting heavy;
My areola, turning dark;
My teeth felt kinda funny
As if there was a spark.
The day drew ever nearer;
So heavy, I began to feel.
And it was hard to breathe, as if
I was carrying weights of steel.
My feet had started swelling
But it was only just a slight.
And when it was cold, still
It felt like heat from sunlight.
And then it finally came.
Your birth was no complication
But I needed a Sitz bath;
Hemorrhoids was the situation.
The method was Lamaze
And it was not so comfortable
But I didn’t care then because
You were just so adorable.
My menarche was at fourteen
And it lasts for five days,
With a 28 day interval
And no dysmenorrheal case.
I was 28 years old.
You were my “Gee-one-pee-one”.
My past medical history
Was only hypertension.
Happy New Layout!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
09:42 p.m.
How'd you like the new look? XD It's still as brown as the previous layout, but now its Fruits Basket themed! Yey!
Happy New Year to meh bloggy! And I think this blog is going to be 5 years old soon! Well, a little later than soon though. XD But still, wow. I had this blog since my fourth year in high school I think? And it's still ALIVE! XD Speaking of alive, I think I should revive my LJ too. It's been dehd for a really long time now. Mweh. Babay.
Monday, January 12, 2009
05:40 p.m.
TEST ENTRY!!!! WEEEEEEEE WAHAHA!
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