11:04 p.m. Monday, August 12, 2002
Wai! Wai! Wai!
My best friend came back from Vietnam! We got to talk and hang out for the first time in months!
She brought me back the cutest shirt!
...
...but she's leaving for Hawaii pretty soon now. ;.;
Ah... and another friend came to visit with her, and he gave me a little gift, too...
I am now officially hooked on Witch Hunter Robin.
I like the music, I like the characters, I like the mood... and Amon is just... *sigh* ... There's another one for my favorite animated guys list...
Anyway... I love both the OP and ED songs. And the mood is dark, but without being oppressive (at least in the first 5 episodes).
And all the characters are real characters -- no one is there to just look pretty or be a sex object or the perfect man, etc (except for the Chief, who just seems to be there for comic relief). I really hope the rest of the anime lives up to this beginning. I really want to know more about these characters, and I'll be most disappointed if it doesn't go into who they are.
Yes, so at least the first 5 eps of Witch Hunter Robin are a recommendation!
Okay... I just have to get your opinion on how Amon looks, at least, Leareth-chan!
Amon.
Amon, again.
And again...
And one last time!
And he's got angst! I'm sure of it!
*kyuu*
10:15 p.m. Monday, August 5, 2002
Ah, son of a beehive!
My webpage is down. It's been down for 2 days now.
And I gave one of those nice Yaoi-Con girls the url for my site.
Gee, talking to the people at the booth got me all excited about it. They're not your average yaoi fan, that's seen/read Gravitation and a few other common titles and thinks they know everything about yaoi.
They've seen and want to share lots of different and rare stuff -- and they know they still have lots more to see and do. ^_^
Hm... and I even met someone there that is in the same kind of boat I am -- no friends in the area that are yaoi fans.
She seemed nice enough, but I'm still pretty iffy on sharing lodgings with someone I barely met (and that at a Con).
...it's always the quiet ones...
02:31 p.m. Sunday, August 4, 2002
Well kids, I know you're all very sad, but my next lecture is going to have to wait. =P
And that's because...
I ended up going to Comic-Con yesterday.
Yep. One of my friends called me up Friday night, and then took me there yesterday.
Hehe... there can be 2 subtitles to my trip to second con ever:
Nezumi vs the Underclad, Overendowed Amazon Women in reference to the abounding sexual objectification of women. Or...
The Quest for Sluggy since the program listed Plan 9 Publishing's booth to be in one spot, but it got moved, with no notice, and everyone had to search desperately to find it!
So, anyway, there were some refuges from the sexism... My friend bought himself some more Strangers in Paradise and I got myself and my brother the rest of Rayearth translated (I started getting it that way, and that's the only way my evil twin can read it).
And I did get to the Plan 9 booth. I got told to read General Protection Fault by Jeffrey (the creator of that comic ^_^), got to witness banter amongst artists, got the Sluggy books I had just bought signed by Pete (Sluggy creator, for the non-Sluggites), and I got to cover Pete's "escape" from the booth. ^_^
Yeah, so it was rather fun. I absolutely have to show another friend how Pete signed the second book. Look here to see for youreselves. I have to show this friend because he's the only one who calls me Rat in person (yelled it out at my graduation even) and he's the one who hooked me on Sluggy in the first place.
Oh, and in other news... I woke up this morning and realized that I had registered for Yaoi-Con yesterday!
How did it happen? I had convinced myself that I wouldn't and couldn't go!
But the women at the booth were sooo nice and we had a nice friendly talk... and I just can't say no to nice people!
Ack! Where has my evil image gone?
Oh well...
And they did say that there would be a swap meet type event. No cash, only trading. I can possibly get rid of some undesirable volumes (*cough* Sekai ga Owaru... *cough*) and get something I really like (*drool* beautiful men *drool*).
Sorry to fans of that manga, but it does nothing for me. I don't like shouta-ized characters (and these guys are really shouta-ized) and the shit that happens later is all pretty mindless (the first thing I can deal with, so long as it's believable... having it there for no apparent psychological reason is just... the second thing, I just don't enjoy, expecially not when the character looks like a kid). Oh, and I was being vague there as to avoid spoilers to those that want to read it. Those wanting to be spoiled can check the archives for my original (less diplomatic) reaction.
Yeah, so... Get rid of the jail-bait, bring in mature hotties, and catch some new Yaoi in the process!
...
11:31 p.m. Tuesday, July 30, 2002
Okay kids, I have another lecture for today.
=P~
Well not really, but I do feel like addressing something else. It goes back to last night, too. It's actually from the conversation that got stampeded.
I was just starting to get into the problems of the trivialization of rape in yaoi (and other fiction)... But that stemmed from me trying to refute someone else's myth.
The myth that all yaoi sex has to be unbalanced and/or some degree of rape.
Bollocks!
I know the majority of yaoi seems to reflect that. And frankly, I'm tired of the whole stereotyped roles of aloof seme -- the man who cooly drives the uke to mindlessness while making comments like "oh, you're extremely sensitive" and making the uke beg for release... as if he doesn't want the sex that much at all -- and screaming uke -- the man who has to be almost or completely forced into sex and who enjoys it almost or completely against his will and screams... and says no even when we know its supposed to be consensual.
I guess I'm an odd yaoi fan -- but I don't get much out of that. Depending on how non-concensual that sex is supposed to be, it gets to be really dehumanizing to the uke.
And it frequently lacks in sensuality and almost always lacks true passion.
(Not to mention that since uke=woman, it reflects the old, chauvinistic notion that women aren't supposed to want sex)
Anyway, the person I was first talking to said that all yaoi sex has to be like that and if I don't like that then I shouldn't be reading yaoi.
Exsqueeze me? Baking powder?
I can name several doujinshi and manga in my personal collection that put the lie to that -- and that's an extremely tiny (insignificant) percentage of what's out there.
I think I'll even discuss them.
I'll start with my Yami no Matsuei doujinshi.
The best example is (my favorite) Seien. In that one, Tsuzuki starts the sexual encounter as much as Tatsumi does, and though the sex scene is mostly implicit, what is shown reflects passion and both Tats and Tsu engaged in the act. And they cuddle after. I love that. ^_^
And then there's the TatsxTsu portion of the Enigma doujinshi. When it reaches a certain point during their sex, Tsuzuki starts to say "ya" (no) -- so Tatsumi stops and waits until Tsuzuki tells him to go on. And they cuddle after. ^__^
Notice that neither of these examples are Muraki x Tsuzuki. That's because Muraki is psychotic, and would not be able to truly love Tsuzuki (and Tsuzuki him) unless he were to return to his sanity.
And now for some manga examples (and these are all from actual yaoi magazines like GUST and Be-Boy):
I'll start with Eien yori mo naotooku. In this story, the couple had past lives together in which they had a sort of Iason x Riki type relationship (Ai no Kusabi) -- similar dynamics, except that the first encounter really was rape in this manga. And, it ended the same way (I think I'll get into relationship dynamics and Ai no Kusabi next time). Anyway, in the present life, the seme has all sorts of problems and he also dreams about his past life. Well, I don't want to do a detailed summary, so I'll just say that he found the uke in the present life, and their first encounter is very nearly rape (but the seme wasn't all aloof/detached; he was very much caught in the moment -- and I say nearly because the uke didn't struggle, but he didn't really want to be having sex). But the thing is before they have an actual relationship, the seme realizes he was wrong and the uke forgives him and they actually fall in love with who the other person is (not a "relationship" based on rape, lust, obesession, and a Patty Hearst complex) I guess this is more an example of what I mentioned last night, but it works here also.
For one with a lot more sex, there's Ikenai koto kai. This has to be one of the few I've looked at without wondering why the uke does it. You can tell that both seme and uke are fully willing, engaged, and enjoying the experience. And when they finally get to a relationship based on more than sex... Well, I think it's really cute the way they banter during, and of course affection after is wonderful...
And now for one that borders on plotlessness, Toiki ni furete, which consists of 4 short stories. In one, the uke had been sexually abused by his uncle, and when he and the seme finally get to sex, the seme makes sure he's okay and free of bad memories before they really go to it. Oh, and the seme tells the uke he loves him, too. In another one, the uke had been in a relationship before, and dumped in such a way that he felt dirty/prostituted. The new seme convinces him that it's not dirty to feel excitement, etc -- that it's natural since he love him. And the others also feature relatively mutual encounters.
And finally we get to Munasawagi no Kiss. That's the one I've been going on about blissfully. Actually, in this one, the uke about has to bash the seme over the head! It's also about the only time I've seen the uke engage in foreplay (affectionate foreplay -- the sex is entirely implicit) as much as the seme. Needless to say, I really love this one!
Anyway, end lecture 2! =P
And guess what kids...
I've started scanning!
01:24 a.m. Tuesday, July 30, 2002
Oh... in partial defense of the below-mentioned person that may still think I'm a complete bitch (hey, bitch is a compliment), after they had run the gamut of swear words (everything except dick, I think, which is a shame, because dickweed is a fun word), they were able to (not long after even) have a regular, calm conversation with me.
I think that earns some points in the "I can get on with my life" department.
...And I'll admit, that egging them on probably wasn't the best response...
...Um... in the American tradition of making excuses:
I'm the youngest sibling! Do you know what it's like being picked on by 6 people older than you? After that, good idea or not, you tend to redirect and give that back to other people.
Well, at least I named my toilet!
My porcelain goddess is named Athena now!
I like it.
Next time my evil twin or I make offerings to her, maybe we'll learn some wisdom!
...
And for future reference, saying you love your toilet seems to be a good disarm in a verbal bitch-fight.
12:43 a.m. Tuesday, July 30, 2002
Yay! I had someone convinced tonight that I'm the most closed-minded bitch on the internet.
Why?
Because I wouldn't back down on an opinion that I've put a lot of thought into.
I mean there's trouble enough when a third party jumps in on a discussion (especially one hampered by the fact that I practically had to tranlate the second party's comments)...
...but getting angry before I've even made my points and assuming that I can't have given it any thought whatsoever?
And I really have given this issue thought...
The trivialization of rape in fiction.
I think it's a problem. I don't have a problem with rape occurring in fictional works, since it occurs in real life.
What I do have a problem with is when authors/artists sell rape as just another form of sex -- and even part of a real relationship.
Personally, I'm sick of all the yaoi out there that sends the message: "Can't get the boy of your dreams? Then rape him until he thinks he's in love with you!"
Other people can sigh over that all they want and say the people are in love in the end...
But you can't convince me that it's otherwise than extreme lust and obsession (along with other mental problems) on the seme's part, and an eventual Patty Hearst complex on the uke's part.
And this is actually a problem. Rape in these works is depicted as an act of love, and as not hurting people, when the truth is it has nothing to do with love, and is very much a violent crime.
And there's also the wonderful "it's not rape if you enjoy it" line...
Bullshit. I laugh when I'm tickled -- it's the body's reaction -- but I hate being tickled more than being clawed by cats.
All these depictions do is trivialize rape.
And that is a problem even in fiction, because what we read, watch, and hear does effect our viewpoints.
It all serves to say that rape is okay -- that it's not really a crime...
And that is not a message that should be sent out when more than 60% of college boys surveyed at UCLA a couple years ago said that they would rape a girl if they thought they could get away with it.
*Sigh* I also have a problem with the "blame the victim" attitude that most of these works also seem to represent.
Ah well, I cherish my yaoi and shounen-ai manga that don't reflect those views very much.
But dangit... that whole thing also brought philosophical thoughts to the forefront. Especially ones on open-mindedness.
I've put even more thought into this on sleepless nights.
So many people say, "you need to be more open-minded." Or, say you're close-minded if you don't change your mind to their way of thinking at the drop of a hat.
Really, one has to draw the line somewhere. A person who was truly, completely open-minded would have to believe that nothing and no one is wrong...
And if everyone was completely open-minded, then no one would have a concept of right and wrong.
The truth is, in Western society, a truly open-minded person would be regarded as amoral and dangerous.
...It's all about where you draw the line... and here's my favorite example on drawing the line:
Abortions and birth control.
On one side of the issue are those that say abortion is wrong, in some or all cases... Some take that further and say that even birth control is wrong... But it can be taken even further, until you say that not having sex is wrong because you're denying all those potential babies!
Then, there's the side that says abortion is acceptable, for some or any reason, in the first trimester... that can be taken further to inlcude the entire pregnancy... But it can also be taken further until you say it's okay to leave newborn babies in dumpsters!
You may say that both those extremes are absurd, but that's based on where you draw the line.
Drawing the line and forming your opinion, after you've thought through the matter is not being close-minded. So no matter which side of the matter you're on, if you've made an informed opinion, then sticking to it (while listening to what others say and accepting their valid points) is not being close-minded.
Anyway.. while we're on weighty issues...
Leareth, don't be too upset about the "pollution of English."
Growth is one of the functions of language! If it stopped growing, it would stop serving people as part of culture.
Besides, you don't want to side with the likes of grammarians, etc who work to freeze language! They're intellectual decendants of the grammarians that made "he" the generic pronoun. "They" used to be aceptable as a singular generic pronoun, too.
The grammarians (all men) decided that was unnecessary, since women belonged to men anyway. That is why he is the standard generic pronoun -- despite the fact that it frequently doesn't work that way...
Anyway, modern grammarians haven't changed that, so do you really want to side with them? =P~~~~
Yay! 68 more megs and I'll have all of Mirage of Blaze!
Even if over half of it is raw...
ma ne...
05:37 p.m. Thursday, July 25, 2002
Blech! It's been hot the last 2 days.
Not as hot as my hometown, but it's a lot more humid... And my apartment has no air conditioner. ;.;
Ah, but something nice happened today.
My evil twin got me an early birthday present. It's a little more than a month early, but it's the sort of thing you get when they have it, and that you can't keep stashed away.
He got me my Paraguay nightshade! Yay!
It's a somewhat tall, attractive shrub with purple flowers. Sadly, though, it isn't poisonous. =P
Oh, and he got a purple pot for it to go in... And, I name my plants, so I dubbed this one...
Can you guess?
Tsuzuki! ^__^
*Sigh* I'm having trouble getting into some of my other manga now...
I read this really, really nice one-shot shounen-ai manga, and now most of the other stuff I haven't read yet seems rather bland.
It had lovely art, and beautiful emotion in it! It had angst and sweetness, and even some humor. And the ending just made me think of one of my favorite couplets from Eloisa to Abelard:
All then is full, possessing, and possessed,
No craving void left aching in the breast.
(Alexander Pope)
Yes, it had a nice ending, and for one of those rare time, I felt like the couple could really have an equal, give-and-take sort of relationship.
...And none of my unread shounen-ai/yaoi looks like it can follow that act. ;.;
Oh well, I'll just have to try something completely different for a while...
...and get some writing done...
*kyuu*
12:14 p.m. Monday, July 22, 2002
Yay! I got to see the lorises at the zoo... awake!
Kyaaa! They're so cute and it's so fun to watch them move!
Who cares about the shows at "Nighttime Zoo?" It's the nocturnal animals that are the real special events to see in the zoo after dark!
Anyway... things shall return to normal shortly... and then maybe I'll get stuff done! I'm afraid I didn't get any writing done, but I did a lot of thinking through plots, etc.
I was going to focus on the next parts of Uncast Shadows and Orpheus and on my idea for a (cue herald trumpets) Kacho-centric fic. And I did think on each of those to varying extents...
But for some odd reason another fic idea suddenly decided to jump to the front of my mind and dominate! Well, I suppose this character deserves some storyline that is neither comedy nor romance...
By the soiled trousers of Argus!
...
...sorry... did I never mention that I really liked the show Freakazoid?
...yeah, that was a Roddy original there... anyway...
The exclamation is for the "new manga" at zetusai.com...
It's actually the manga I was on here offering to people for free practically...
Well, if anybody reads it there and decides they just have to have their own copy, I have one for them!
Honestly though... I think I should start requesting that the project on Storm get continued... or something...
I was really excited about that site at first, but they seem to be focusing a lot on series with shouta-ized characters. What do they have against men?
*Sigh* What's a yaoi fan without a shouta-con to do?
Oh, that's right. Buy my own damn manga! =P
Hmm... really... If my scanner was working properly, and I actually felt like hurting the volumes that I like... I would scan some of the yaoi/shounen-ai manga that I do like...
And I might even translate them... If I could get past my little problem that I had when I tried doing a scanlation of one of my doujinshi... I got to a point where I couldn't translate something anyway that I liked, so I just stopped.
So, I am unwilling to damage the spines of the books I like, and am also unwilling to do a crappy, half-ass translating job (I really do not know Japanese well enough to translate anything more complicated than Akazukin ChaCha)... soo...
I guess I'll just be a snot and keep this wonderful yaoi to myself. =P
...
03:15 p.m. Saturday, July 20, 2002
Yes, I got back to my apartment and slept in my own bed on Thursday night! Yay!
And as soon as I turned the evil program on Friday, I had people leeching off me on WinMX...
Anyway, I didn't do much internet yesterday, because I went to the Wild Animal Park...
...Stayed well after dark and the silly loris still wouldn't wake up! ;.;
...And my mom wants me to hook up with the youngest member of Tinku...
My family... -.-;;;
Oh, and I saw 2 movies where my biggest thrill were particular previews. Saw the new Harry Potter preview again before the Powerpuff Girls movie (my nephew insisted I see it with him, and it was just a really looong episode)... and I saw the next Lord of the Rings movie preview before MiB2 (I guess it wasn't all that bad... for a sequel...)...
But yes... they are some good previews... And the Daredevil preview is interesting, too...
...But they all have such long waits... ;.;
So, I have to wait on the movies I really want to see... I don't know when I'll be able to finish off / catch up on all these manga series I'm getting into...
...and I want Pierrot's new album!
and then?
02:07 p.m. Monday, July 15, 2002
Well... I'm halfway back from my trip...
I'm stuck with my family for a few days still... and then they're planning on coming down and staying for a few days when I go back...
...And I can't even say that I had a good time while camping! ;.;
*sigh* The little trip got shortened at first because we had to go out of our way for a new awning for the RV...
Which we ended up really needing since we got a sunny campsite and it was hotter than ever up there...
Anyway... the first day we're there, I decided to take it easy and didn't do very much (I hate the first day when just walking to the faucet makes you breath hard because of the altitude)... The next day...
I got sick. ;.;
Iyaaaaaaaaa! Altitude and PMS turned out to be a lethal combination for me! I have sensitive inner ears and am prone to dizzy spells... And this time, I retained water in my ears (yes, eewww, but the doctor told me it happens), and then that same morning I got a nosebleed, and suffered more from the altitude...
So... until our last day, I couldn't walk straight, and got seasick when I moved around! ;.; How am I supposed to hop accross creeks, climb rocks, and follow trails, when I can't even get dressed without falling over a few times... ;.;
Yeah, so I didn't do much except look at trees and watch a couple of thunderstorms while camping... And then the first day back, I got worse again (I guess from coming down the mountain)... Iyaaaaa!
Is this supposed to be my vacation?
Anyway... I am capable of sitting up now, and even of walking and everything else (although my post-camping shower was a bit of an adventure), and I have a few days of nothing to do (especially since it's boiling hot outside), so...
...we'll see what gets done...
...
09:58 p.m. Saturday, July 6, 2002
After a while of no posts... I'm just posting to say there will be no more posts for a while...
I'm going to go camping this next week. Yay! ^_^
Ah...some nice time in the mountains...
I may even get some writing done!
And... I just went to my cousin's wedding yesterday. It was very nice. I got to see my uncle, aunt, and cousins (even if it was in the hot, dry desert). And my cousin's wife's family is very nice, too!
And we all went over to one of family member's house this morning for them to open gifts... And I tried menudo.
I don't see what my siblings' problem was. It was very good. And the tripe comes out much more tender than when I've had it in pho.
And I think what they say about menudo is true, since any slight hangover symptoms I had disappeared after I ate it.
*Sigh* I only wish I could've spent more time with everybody!
Well... I can look forward to camping soon, if not more time with extended family... ^_^
*kyuu*
