Yawn, yawn...
.:Wednesday, October 1, 2003, 08:44 a.m.:.

so i didnt go swimming yesterday. instead i met up with shila at newton for dinner. she got tixs to Anugerah, that Malay talent competition, thanks to Maria Mahat. Hooda couldnt make it so i went to take her place. Mag and Zila picked us up, got lost along the way. It's our fault, we told the taxi driver to go Farrer Rd instead of Andrew Rd. The taxi driver was all so apologetic when shila pointed out that he had gone the wrong way. kesian dia.

anyways, i totally didnt enjoyed the show, wasnt very keen to go in the very first place. i think i watched the show only once (on TV), to check out Mariam. She and her 2 frens were in last week's episode. They didnt make it though. This time round, i was there, among the audience. it was mat and minah galore. my attention was more on the audience. we felt very uncomfortable. it was an eye opener though. i'll stop here.

on a healthier note, Adi has been very keen and enthusiatic about forming a women hockey team for next year's international hockey competition organised by the Singapore Cricket Club or sumting like that. He needs 8 players. I have no interest in hockey, never been really into the game so my enthusiasm level is not there yet. Adi said he'll make me love the game, just the way i love playing netball. Siti is pretty on about it. Anybody interested? Pls tag or email me.

.:Tuesday, September 30, 2003, 08:48 a.m.:.

i've not been updating coz i have nothing to say or write or maybe just plain lazy. i'll end up whining, complaining and just write trash. oh well...

i have so many things to do. my mum had sort of warned me to stop travelling so that i can get things done especially with hari raya coming close. so i guess i shall start travelling again after raya then. ireland and london in december is very tempting. shila has been pestering me to go with her to visit her cousin in ireland. but the shitty part is that i'm down with only 10 days leave. she wants to be there for 3 weeks or so. sydney & brisbane is another option. my sis has been bugging me as well since mum cancelled her trip in september. i miss baby nazree. he has started nursery and i longed to see how much he has grown. he's smart boy i tell ya...love his big eyes. we'll see how lah yea.

i wanna go swimming today. the sun is shining brightly and i'm hoping it to stay that way till 5. couldnt go swimming yesterday coz it was too cloudy. no mood to swim.

i miss several people. i need to meet matno asap. i need to see my baby. i need to work out coz my love handles are getting all too lovey dovey. i need to get things done. i need a good massage. i need.....

.:Saturday, September 27, 2003, 11:21 p.m.:.

i had a really nice day with my butterscotch, especially after not seeing each other for quite some time. thank you baby.

Fucking Awesome!!!
.:Saturday, September 27, 2003, 09:49 a.m.:.

came back home past 2am last night. why? because i caught a midnight show with shila, adi, amli & salim. it wasnt planned. was out with shila, mag, zila & sina earlier dinner/shopping at bugis. while the rest headed home, shila and i felt like catching a movie. we wanted to watch swimming pool but shaw is not screening it. adi, amli & salim were at bugis too, they were having dinner, so they joined us. We bought tixs to 28 Days Later. read fiza's blog about it and i knew i just had to watch it. Danny Boyle is the director, the very same director who directed Trainspotting and The Beach. So yeah, i just got to watch it. I love those 2 movies and i knew this one will be another good one.

so i bought the tixs and we have like 2 hours to kill before showtime. while the guys dined and chilled at ah chew coffeshop, shila and i did the unthinkable or more like the things you do when you're bored and dunno what to do, cafe/restaurants/coffeshops hopping at liang seah st. it was damn tiring but hilarious. we had cincao with longan at this newly opened dessert shop at liang seah st. the shop is called ah chew desserts, a small, cosy space with chinese furnishings, with traditional, classic chinese tunes in the background. shila and i had a very good laugh there, imitating the chinese actors and actresses in those olden, pigtail days. we imitated the way they ate, the way they put on lipstick, the way they play that music instrument (i forgot what its called) etc. btw, the place is one week old. oh yeah, the menu is in chinese.

btw, back to the awesome movie. the boys were very doubtful about watching it from the very beginning. they kept threathening to do sumthing to me if the movie sux. furthermore, they were way too disturbed after knowing that the movie was given a 1 star rating in the New Paper. I told them to just watch and judge later.

the movie started off in a slow mode, moody and depresssing. then slowly, it began to pick up. more and more displeasing scenes. it's rated NC16 btw. it was so creatively crafted, brilliant cinematography, accompanied by a doozie, striking soundtrack. i couldnt keep my mouth shut coz every little time, i would go "Oh shit! Thats awesome! Fucken cool! How the hell did they do that? There were the heart stirring moments where i would grab my head, pulled my hair, covered my eyes and ears or mouth just wide opened. The part where Jim bounced back to life in order to guarantee survival, reminded me so much of a certain scene in The Beach, same superlative idea. it has a nice ending.

At the end of the movie, the boys kept thanking me and gave me the thumb ups :) msged butterscotch to express my anxiety towards the movie. i shall watch it again, of course this time round, it's gonna be with you k.

Fucking Awesome!!!
.:Saturday, September 27, 2003, 09:48 a.m.:.

came back home past 2am last night. why? because i caught a midnight show with shila, adi, amli & salim. it wasnt planned. was out with shila, mag, zila & sina earlier dinner/shopping at bugis. while the rest headed home, shila and i felt like catching a movie. we wanted to watch swimming pool but shaw is not screening it. adi, amli & salim were at bugis too, they were having dinner, so they joined us. We bought tixs to 28 Days Later. read fiza's blog about it and i knew i just had to watch it. Dannu Boyle is the director, the very same director who directed Trainspotting and The Beach. So yeah, i just got to watch it. I love those 2 movies and i knew this one will be another good one.

so i bought the tixs and we have like 2 hours to kill before showtime. while the guys dining and chilling at ah chew coffeshop, shila and i were like cafe/restaurants/coffeshops hopping at liang seah st. it was damn tiring but hilarious. we had cincao with longan at this newly opened dessert shop at liang seah st. it's called ah chew desserts,a small, cosy space with chinese furnishings, with traditional, classic chinese tunes in the background. shila and i had a very good laugh there, imitating the chinese actors and actresses in those olden, pigtail days. we imitated the way they ate, the way they put on lipstick, the way they play that music instrument (i forgot what its called) etc. btw, the place is one week old. oh yeah, the menu is in chinese.

btw, back to the awesome movie. the boys were very doubtful about watching it from the very beginning. they kept threathening to do sumthing to me if the movie sux. furthermore, they were way too disturbed after knowing that the movie was given a 1 star rating in the New Paper. I told them to just watch and judge later.

the movie started off in a slow mode and moody. then slowly, it began to pick up. more and more displeasing scenes. it's rated NC16 btw. the movie was creatively crafted, brilliant cinematography, accompanied by a doozie, striking soundtrack. i couldnt keep my mouth shut coz every little time, i would go "Oh shit! Thats awesome! Fucken cool! How the hell did they do that? There were the heart stirring moments where i would grab my head, pulled my hair, covered my eyes and ears or mouth just wide opened. The part where Jim bounced back to life in order to guarantee survival, reminded me so much of a certain scene in The Beach, same superlative idea. it has a nice ending.

At the end of the movie, the boys kept thanking me and gave me the thumb ups :)

Hockey game...
.:Friday, September 26, 2003, 10:42 a.m.:.

played hockey after work yesterday (after much persuasion by adi) never really have that much interest in it. to me, it's more of a back breaking activity. adi is an avid hockey player and he's been wanting to expose us to the sport. the last time i held a hockey stick was probably in sec 1. i prefer a netball to a hockey stick.

we played in the rain and i was lazy to run after the ball, afraid of falling down. i was such a crappy and lousy player but slowly, got the hang of it and gained better understanding of the game after adi taught us a thing or two. it was really fun. no rules so you can imagine, it was such an erroneous game. we pulled and pushed each other, stepped on each other feet, kicked the ball instead of hitting it with the stick etc. at the end of the game, we were so worn out, not because of fatigue but heavy dose of laughter. we shall have another game next week.

no calls from nani. she said she'll call on wednesday to meet up. today is friday and she's leaving for perth on sunday. i dun have her new home number. called marlina the other day but couldnt get through. oi woman, if you are reading this, pls CALL me!!!

i miss my baby and several others. hope you all are doing just fine

Not a nice ending...
.:Thursday, September 25, 2003, 08:49 a.m.:.

yesterday after work, i ended up in town. while waiting for ninin, went to zara, bought meself 2 tops and a top for butterscotch. i had a gd time at zara, all alone, oggling at every piece of clothing there. they come in retro/mod/punkrock flavours, the way i like it. yes, i just wanna lick them and satisfy my taste buds hehehe but of course, i gotta watch my expenses. after zara, went over to marks & spencer to get my cocoa butter deodorant. but before that i dropped by the lingerie section to get myself a new bandeau.was about to try it on when ninin msged me that she has arrived and smoking outside so she asked me to meet her. i went to meet her and ended having dinner at bk liat towers. fastfood was never appealing to me but i dunno why i still want to have the whopper jr meal. i even bought extra fries.

btw, i didnt get my deodorant and bandeau.dammit. was too lazy to go back and get them. once seated, i just dun feel like moving my ass. shila wanted to meet us but she expected us to go to city hall where she was having a meeting. ninin and i were too plain lazy to move and anyway, ninin just got there, so we didnt meet. ninin and i did some catching up, updating each other on the latest happenings. i've not chilled with her for ages. so there we were, sitting at the spot where we used to hang out almost everyday 3-4yrs back, wasting our lives away hehehehe...reminiscing the good old times was nice. now, the feeling is different. that certain phase in our lives had already passed.

asrik and salim joined us later. asrik was from far east where he made a new pair of glasses while salim was from arab st, from a job interview or sumting. we chilled till about 11. it was a nice meeting last night despite the hot weather. i reached home close to midnight.

what happened after that, i shall not write it here. i'm hoping for the best definitely. all i can say is drop the ego, stop serving it. we all love you, no matter what. i know its been hard for you and giving up is a no no. we are there for you, we'll always be. We love you, HE loves you more, remember that.

.:Wednesday, September 24, 2003, 04:33 p.m.:.

Frustrated.

Bye bye to lazy sunday...say hello to a busy week..
.:Sunday, September 21, 2003, 11:30 p.m.:.

so i met shila for dinner afterall. earlier she was feeling too lazy to meet. we had dinner at banquet simei. she suddenly had craving for laksa when she woke up from her nap. earlier in the day, i managed to springclean my bedroom a bit. got rid some stuff and forced kak ita to clear her boys' toys and books that have been piling up in my room. i can breathe a little now.

i've yet to rearrange things. i need to bring in the 29" tv that i won into my room asap. its been in the living room since then, still in the box. yes its huge and thats the biggest challenge. i dunno where to place it. i still have my pc and book shelf to consider. my bedroom is already small as it is. was browsing ikea catalogue for ideas. i thought of getting a single sized sofa bed. my old sofa bed was infested with bedbugs. my current bed is taking up lots of space. arrrghhhhh!!!! i need help man.

anyways, after dinner, met up with mag, sina, zila and alin. rini joined us shortly after. what shila told me over dinner really saddened me and at the same time made me so angry. zila doesnt deserve all this. she was allright when i met her juz now, a little quiet and solemn though. i know its hard on her, its too painful. but i guess its better we see his true colours now then later. gal, you know we all are gonna be there for you, no matter what. be strong.

i foresee a busy week. starting from tomorrow, i have to go to all the divisions for the re-inspection, a follow up to the recent audit. that apek will be around and that means there'll be lots of work delegation by him. while we slough, all he does is to linger around, check his emails and gets all kanchong when he is unable to answer questions (most of the time he cant. he will talk cock) btw, this apek happens to be my supervisor. he can pass off as an old ah beng too. till today, i still dun understand how he gained his ASP rank. he should be demoted to a VC.

Nani is back in sg, well at least till the 28th. its her 2 weeks break. miss that woman very much. chatted with her for a bit on msn just now. this time around, i have to see her. its been ages. there was no farewell gathering or sumthing like that when she left for perth, 1 and half yrs ago i think and i only managed to chat with her once or twice. met her briefly while shoppin at ikea last ramadan though. she was with her parents. it was a very brief meeting. most probably meeting her this wednesday. i simply cant wait. woman, if you are reading this, you better call me. she told me that she's been reading my blog. she couldnt recall how she came across my blog though. well its cool, at least she knows what i've been up to daily. c ya soon.

Well spent saturday...
.:Sunday, September 21, 2003, 10:04 a.m.:.

yesterday i woke up at 1pm! had a really good sleep. i really needed that after all the trainings. i couldnt believe that i woke up that late. usually by 10am, i would be wide awake. maybe also because the cool weather that made me stay in bed. i chit chatted with mum for a bit before i got ready to go over to nina's to help prepare dinner. her parents were out of town and she's inviting few close friends for dinner.

i've not seen nina or been to her place for ages. so it was nice to see her yesterday. helmi was at home too. her cats are huge now, really huge. new addition to the family is zola, the smallest, youngest and the most mischievious. all 3 cats are so cute and beautiful.

by 3pm, aunt and niece were already so busy in the kitchen. we had maggie goreng for lunch. the noodles were too soggy though, thanks to me. by 7pm, the pasta, mashed potatoes, wardorf salad, chicken and mushroom soup and grilled salmon were ready. nan couldnt make it on time for dinner coz he was engaged in some meeting. so it were only me, nina, helmi, salim and ashrik. it's my first meeting ashrik, abang gurame. he's the guy who was in the gurame tv ad, dancing some javanese dance and singing "gurame, gurame". he had put on a lot of weight now and i couldnt really recognise him. he's a firefighter and i heard he just got promoted. congrats man. he's a very nice and sweet lad.

salim and i supposed to sleep over but we decided not to coz i have to attend religious class this morning (which in the end i didnt) and salim has work to do. obviously nina was disappointed so she decided to go to centro since she has passes to some event going on there. nan didnt come at all coz we were leaving soon anyway. nevertheless, dinner was good, great company. salim has got me addicted to natacha atlas. she's amazing i tell ya. she brought fusion music to another level. you can check her out here

i'm invited to marlina's housewarming party later. i've yet to get her and husband sumthing. they got married a year ago and now finally a place of their own. things have been going smoothly for her since she got married. she looked more radiant than ever and of course happier. i'm happy for her. azlan is definitely the perfect choice. despite all the problems and shit she had to go through just before her big day, she managed to pull through.

i need to revamp my room before raya. the new ikea catalogue is giving me ideas. gotta start planning and working now. i hate the way my room look right now. no more cooping up in my room anymore, not until it's in perfect condition, the way i like it.

We did our very best...
.:Friday, September 19, 2003, 08:46 a.m.:.

had a very long, wet day yesterday. it was the dragon boat competition. i was chosen to be in the mixed team. it was a surprise for me coz i had a strong feeling that i'll be one of the spectators. we didnt make it to the finals though but i guessed i did my very best, much, much better than during training. the only glitch was when my right contact len almost fell off, so i lost a bit of concentration there for a moment. our women team also didnt make it to the finals. but our boys did us proud. they came in second. well at least, we didnt go home empty handed. the champions were truly amazing. they were so good i tell ya. thanks to the intensive training they went through. i wish that we go through the same kind of training. i'm sure it will benefit us more. an hour of training everyday is nothing compared to their 1 whole day of training, everyday. of course, we are at the losing end coz most of our rowers are trainees and we cant afford to sacrifice their compulsory training in tracom.

nevertheless, the training did me good. my body is a little leaner now and i told myself that this is the beginning to a healthier body, shall not slack now. i want to start swimming and running. meanwhile right now, it would be nice if i can continue lying in my bed and got lost in slumberland. i hope i dont fall sick after spending almost the whole day in the rain. it was a fun day yesterday.

Where will i be?
.:Wednesday, September 17, 2003, 02:32 p.m.:.

so i went for our very last training at the pool this morning. siti was very late. this morning's training focused more on our rowing/paddling techniques. it was so much harder and taxing to row in the pool, more pressure. there was no selection, i dunno why. it seemed that everybody who was there this morning will turn up tomorrow for the competition. but then again, my status is kinda vague coz i dunno whether i'll be in the girls team or the mixed team or be one of the reserves. of course at the end of the training, we were fed with the usual motivational talks. my passion for the whole damn thing is still not up there. of course, everybody wants to win, to be number one coz to be in second place is already a disappointment. oh well, we'll see how it goes tomorrow. i'll stuff myself with lots of chocolates and bananas. wish me luck.

Where will i be?
.:Wednesday, September 17, 2003, 02:25 p.m.:.

so i went for our very last training at the pool this morning. siti was very late. this morning's training focused more on our rowing/paddling techniques. it was so much harder and taxing to row in the pool, more pressure. there was no selection, i dunno why. it seemed that everybody who was there this morning will turn up tomorrow for the competition. but then again, my status is kinda vague coz i dunno whether i'll be in the girls team or the mixed team or be one of the reserves. of course at the end of the training, we were fed with the usual motivational talks. my passion for the whole damn thing is still not up there. of course, everybody wants to win, to be number one coz to be in second place is already a disappointment. oh well, we'll see how it goes tomorrow. i'll stuff myself with lots of chocolates and bananas. wish me luck.

Will today be the last time?
.:Tuesday, September 16, 2003, 11:09 a.m.:.

This morning, during training, there was melancholy in the wind and water. i began to develop deplorable thoughts which was not a good thing coz i couldnt really concentrate. i did put in all my best since it's our last training at kallang. tomorrow, we'll have a so called recreational training at the swimming pool and of course, there'll be the final selection.

i know where i stand. i know my capabilities. i'll not be disheartened if i'm not selected. i've put in my best effort and commitment. at least i have the chance to try out a new field. i cant deny that there'll be disappointment deep down inside especially after all the trainings, hard work and yea, waking up at 5am every morning. while siti's status is clear (she's in), mine remains ambiguous till tomorrow. meanwhile, i'll try hard not to feel crummy.

on a lighter note, had dinner with the whole family including mak minah and butterscotch to celebrate dad's birthday. he turned 69 yesterday. we had dinner at kampong chai chee restaurant. wanted to suggest somewhere better but dad likes the place. met shila and zila there to pass the 100 bucks i owed shila. kak lin's attendance left me dumbfounded for a bit. my mum did inform her about the dinner and i didnt really pu high hopes for her to turn up after all the shit that's been going on. her household is not in a good shape. i think she had a long good talk with my mum when we reached home. as a sister, i felt that i need to do sumthing to make things get better. i cant be closing my eyes and just dun care but sumtimes i dunno how to. but one thing for sure, i'll continuously pray for the well being of my family, no matter what.

.:Monday, September 15, 2003, 11:39 a.m.:.

Hey all, i'm back. The KL trip over the weekend was a bliss. Maggie couldnt make it at the very last minute so it's only me, huda and & her mum, aunty oh ah. we stayed at the legend hotel. i dont really like the location coz it'a bit far off from the main attraction area or the golden triangle. after dinner, met up with anne, her cousin, nana and rina at petaling st. they cancelled the bangkok trip after i backed out. we spent the night shopping. this time round, i bought myself another pair of shades and a watch.

2nd day was more eventful. we started the day early. had buffet breakfast at the hotel's restaurant. it was good. i ate till i dropped. we then made our way to the p.ramlee memorial coz aunty oh ah wanna check out the place. the place is a terrace house which houses all p.ramlee's belongings. so you get to see his clothes, his piano, his typewriter, car, his music scores and scripts, pictures and many more. i love saloma's collection of shades. very retro, i loike. it's not a very big place. we took about half an hour to complete the tour. throughout the tour, his songs were playing in the background. i memorized almost all the songs and i couldnt stop dancing and shaking to those upbeat numbers. P.Ramlee is indeed amazing. i grew up watching his movies. back in primary 1, the first thing i would do when i came back from school was to watch his movies. only after that, i would do my homework and study. i can imagine all the good movies he would have produced and directed if he's still alive today.

after that, we made our way to jln masjid india. we shopped some more and then went back to the hotel. washed up, made plans to meet up with the gals at klcc and had the sumptuous buffet hi tea and then made our way to klcc. it was my first time there. didnt get to go there the last time i was in kl. finally, i got to really stand at the foot of the twin towers. suria klcc was huge and you can find all the big names there. it's like takashimaya. i didnt get anything from there. wanted to get a pair of shoes from vincci though but they dont have my size. damn. since it was saturday, the whole place was so crowded with locals and tourists. anne was busy trying to spot celebrities. she saw ziana zain the last time she was there and right before she met us, she saw sofea jane and her daughter. i got tired after all the walking. we made plans again to meet up for dinner before we all headed back to the hotel.

by this time,i was so looking forward to dinner. why? because we are going to red chambers. it's this cool thai/jap restaurant at jln telawi 3, bangsar. huda, maggie, shila and nan went there before. i saw the pics they took there and since then i've been itching to go there. the place was super ultra cool. i went like wow...ooohh...wahhh... when i first stepped into the restaurant. the decor was so oriental and the walls are painted red. the whole place was only illuminated by small lamps and candles. it was really cosy and romantic. the food was not bad too. i wanna go there again. we took pics there. hopefully anne will email me them and i can put them up here. i like the whole stretch of jln telawi. it's like holland village. they have restaurants with nice decor. nice place to really chill.

we gals wanted to go clubbing after red chambers. i wanted to check out nouvo or the other clubs they've been to. but we ended up at hard rock cafe. dun really like the place but since aunty oh ah wanted to come with us (she's didnt want to stay in the hotel room alone), we settled down with hrc where she could chill while we gals have a little fun on the dancefloor. the live band playing there sux big time. bumped into firzan and his friends. they were staying at concorde so i was kinda expecting them. wanted to call adi up. he was in kl over the weekend as well but i didnt have his number. it was in my nokia 8250 which suddenly went dead on me on thursday. i'm using my mum's phone for the time being. the thought of having to get a ne phone irritated me. $$$$ arrrgghhhhh.....

hrc sux but we did have fun dancing (towards the end only me and huda were on the dancefloor), chilling and laughing. so it was not that bad after all. i quickly fell into a deep sleep as soon as my head touched the pillow.

started our last day in kl with the buffet breakfast. same sumptuous spread only this time i didnt eat a lot. after that, we went back to the hotel room and chilled till check out time. after which, we did last minute shopping at the mall next to the hotel and then had coffee before making our way to pudu bus station to head back to sg.

it was a good getaway no doubt. the only irritating part was to hail a cab. we travelled by cab all the time and each time it was a bad experience. most of the time, the cabs will not stop even when you are flaggin like a mad woman. their reason, they have to go to taxi stands if not they can be summoned. excuse me!!! you go around driving like a maniac and got away easily and suddenly you got all scared to stop for about 10 secs to pick up passengers by the roadside? even when they finally stop, that doesnt mean they want to send you to wherever you want to go. the cab drivers tend to be very choosy on the destinations coz they want to avoid the heavy traffics in that specific area. the only pleasant taxi ride was when we had to go to red chambers. the taxi driver was this cute looking young guy. he was very shy and talked softly. i sat in the front and asked him lots of questions abt kl. everytime, he answered shyly and oh yea, he was skillful on the roads. he made smooth turns and he drove in a very relax manner.i was obviously flirting with him. hehehe.

my body is aching right now. the bus ride home yesterday was a bumpy one. i had stiff neck. wasnt looking forward to this morning dragon boat training. hanafiah kept picking on me. i couldnt be bothered. the race is on this thursday. i dunno what to expect.

Constipated...
.:Thursday, September 11, 2003, 10:12 a.m.:.

Was on mc yesterday. was getting all ready for training when my tummy decided to throw tantrums. been suffering from constipation for the past 2 days and yesterday morning, things got worse. of course, the night before, hooda, shila and i made plans to go to the beach as both of them wanna make full use of the school holidays. shila was on mc as well. so yea, we did go to the beach after i came back from the doc. was really suffering from constipation so i didnt really feel bad or guilty of staying outdoors when u're on medical leave. yusof, if u're reading this, dun pauto me ah. hehehe

it was a good day yesterday. weather was allright but got a little wet in the later afternoons. we chilled by the beach. we didnt swim though. hooda did her sch assignment, a painting of tahitian women/gals and of course shila and i joined in the fun and did our own artworks. the nasi jenganan shila bought for us was super delicious and for the rest of the day out at the beach, we munched on chips and chicken salami.

we headed down to tampines when the sky turned grey. had tea at kcc, afterwhich hooda met up with her schmate to get some stuff. we then went our separate ways, hooda went to meet hidir and shila and i went to catch legalle blond2. the movie was funny and dumb at some point. a good movie to watch to destress. but i guessed i enjoyed Down with Love more. after the movie, shila suddenly turned into a "pink freak", imitating Elle Woods, the character played by Reese Witherspoon. she even bought this cute, flower power hairband. i followed her around scouting for a birthday gift for nikki, met zila along the way. i teased her about wet lips and playing with straws hehehehe...naughty, naughty zila :)

Things at home are getting rusty each day, my second sis' household to be exact. had a long talk with mum and kak ita when i came home. we definitely gotta do sumthing fast to help her. i got really pissed off at some points. why do people resort to evil ways and means to destroy other people's lives? what do they gain? i couldnt go to sleep, thinking of ways to help her. i'm not the baby of the house anymore. i've grown up and can think wisely and i wanna do sumting. she's my sis afterall, good or bad.

i'm leaving for KL tomorrow, with huda, her mum and maggie. i'm going to eat and eat to make up for the lost opportunities when i was there in august. hopefully, this time round i'll not fall sick.

Let's talk about punctuality...shall we?
.:Tuesday, September 9, 2003, 10:19 a.m.:.

Punctuality...we've heard and talked about this over and over again and we'll continue doing so. Why do people tend to be late? There are many factors that contribute to why one is late. Valid reasons (truth or made up)are accepted but when one is perpetually late? how is that?

i decided to stress on this topic today coz i grew sick and tired of waiting for people especially this one person, a colleague of mine. i see her everyday, well at least since training started. we travel together you see so yeah, most of the time i had to wait for her. no matter what time the appointment is, she never make it on time. i dun think there was any 1 time when she is actually punctual. of course on certain occasions, her reasons for being late are valid but every single day? hhmmm...

I'm proud to say that I AM PUNCTUAL MOST OF THE TIME and i guess thats one of my good traits. even when i'm late, usually i have good reasons to justify. the thought of somebody there already waiting for me doesnt really put me to ease. generally, i'm patient, understanding and reasonable, allowing grace time and all but i just hope that people won't take that for granted.

oh well, no point dwelling on it. latecomers will always be part of our lives no matter what. but of course, that doesnt make them less better people. Most of my friends and family members who are notorious for being late are a bunch of fun people to be with so its not bad afterall.

anyways, i missed the screening of Nefertiti Revealed on Discovery Channel on Sunday. thought of watching it at butterscotch's since my place does not have cable but by the time we travel back to his place all the way from marine parade, it would be pointless. oh well. not sure if they are showing it again. anybody noes? i enjoyed reading up on history and it was one of the subjects that i excelled in back in sec sch.

I'm tired, very, very tired.

Ouch...ouch...
.:Monday, September 8, 2003, 10:06 a.m.:.

been whining about my body aching and now i shall whine some more. this time, its about my legs, the thighs to be exact. they ached and twitched. i had difficulties walking, going up and down the stairs, sitting...etc. those stiff muscles are screaming out loud after the 8km run on saturday. yes, i ran a total distance of 8km!!! can you believe it? when was the last time i really run a distance? 5-6yrs ago? surprisingly, i could take it, rather slow though but it was good. it was my first time running at east coast. that morning, it was exceptionally crowded with many joggers especially those from SAF. so the environment was kinda motivating and some point you wanna people to admire you and therefore, that kinda triggered you to go on and dun give up. i sweat a lot and i liked it and it was a indeed a good start for me to go back on the fitness track.

after training, siti, firzan and i made our way to parkway parade to meet up with amirul and nassar. both of them had a stall at the monthly weekend flea market and they are selling their handmade crafts. very creative indeed and i was impressed. i like their paper holder cum paper weight. very innovative. ratna joined a while later and we had a late lunch together, chill for a bit at the stall and went home. bear in mind, that throughout the time we were at parkway parade, siti, firzan and i were very sweaty and smelly. we didnt have the chance to shower or even wash up after training. so there you have it, 3 smelly beings. hehehe

by the time i reached home, i was totally knackered. took a long cold shower, made plans to meet the gals and chill for a bit. met shila and huda at simei at around 730pm and then we made our way to TJ's. he's out of town and shila invited us over to chill. his place is totally a bachelor pad. simply furnished and decorated. we didnt really stay there long. we left after watching masak apa?. huda made her way to meet hidir at tampines while shila and i went to meet maggie, sina and dayah at teh tarik cartel. we talked and laughed but i was obviously very tired. wanted to go over to salim's to sleep over with nina and all. but his place is all way at woodlands and i'm too tired and the very next day i have religious class so i forego the idea. sorry salim, thanks for the invitation, another time k.

on sunday, after religious class, went over to parkway parade again, this time with butterscotch. had lunch with amirul and nassar and then went over to their stall. amirul's sis and bro in law were tending to the stall. i bought 2 bottles and ordered a paper weight. i brought butterscotch around to check out the other stalls. he bought me a butterfly brooch and i bought myself this cool looking pouch. it is made of zips, all sewn up together so the best part is that you can unzip the pouch from almost anywhere.i also bought a rotating candle. it is so cool. we walked around for a bit and then made our way back to tampines for coffee. met marlin, safiah and ida along the way.

butterscotch and i had a good talk over coffee. actually, its more of him lettin me know how he wants things to be for the better us. we discussed and agreed to work towards that goal and of course help each other throughout the journey. we spoke our minds and gave our opinions. i know it's not going to be easy but insya-allah, with His guidance we'll make it through. afterall, it's something good that we are working towards to. we will start off with small steps and hopefully sooner or later, we'll be running, in the right path that is.

.:Friday, September 5, 2003, 04:28 p.m.:.

my body has been aching since the dragon boat training started. of coz it ache coz it's been ages since i really got into that active, sporty mode so it was rather taxing for my stiff muscles. but i'm getting the hang of it. the competition is drawing near and i think i'm still rather slow and stamina level is way down there. sigh....training every single morning is not that bad at all though especially when you have cute guys to oggle at during training. there's this especially cute guy who has been training with us. hope he'll get selected so that i can see him more often. i think his name is mirza. was telling butterscotch that mirza is one reason that keep motivating me to wake up at 5 every morning and attend training,hehehe.

took half day leave yesterday to send butterscotch's mum off to mecca for umrah. caught some sleep in the early afternoon after i came back from the koban rehearsal. by the time i woke up, it was 4pm. quickly got ready coz gotta be at the airport arnd 515. me, my mum and the 2 boys took the cab coz we were running late. the airport was super crowded. got really pissed off with some inconsiderate people. i got all teary when his mum hugged me and said goodbye. i always get all emotional when sending somebody off, even if that person is leaving for holidays. but i managed to hold back the tears. she kept reminding me to look after butterscotch. after her departure, butterscotch came over my place for dinner. me, my mum and him had a very good conversation. in between, i felt the urge to bring up marriage but in the end i didnt coz i just dunno how to bring it up and wasnt too sure if its the right time. there's sumthing about butterscotch last night that made me fall in love with him all over again.

btw, have you all watched down with love? coz i had and i totally love it!!!! even butterscotch love it. watched it on wednesday, courtesy of mr seng. its some complimentary tixs. he wanted to give it away coz he dun like to watch those comedy love story. at first butterscotch didnt really like the idea of watching the movie too but since its free, he tagged along. the movie turned out to be good. so hilarious, well-scripted, great cinematography. i love the whole 60's setting, so colourful and lively. its a little exaggerating but that was what made it comical. i couldnt stop smiling and laughing even after the movie ended. kept imitating the way barbara novak, the character played by renee zellweger walked. ewan mcgregor looked charming and sexy. he's a playboy in the movie. i msged the gals to tell them to watch the movie. i feel like watching it again. shall we gals?

saw izad&hana wedding pictures. it was indeed a beautiful wedding. made me wanna get married asap. hehehe...

So i'm not going...
.:Tuesday, September 2, 2003, 11:36 a.m.:.

The Bangkok trip next week will not happen, well at least for me. i've decided to forego the idea of travelling to that part of the world. Dun really like the idea of travelling with a heavy, reluctant heart. i know it's a piece of disappointing news for anne and rina. i'm truly sorry gals. we'll make it happen soon but just not now.

this morning, chris and mr kadir were strongly against me travelling to thailand especially during the period i'm going coz APEC will be held there and there'll be so called a massive hunt for the JI members or terrorists in southern thailand. i trust both of them in this. called me paranoid and dubious, i've made up my mind, i'm not going.

To go or not to go?
.:Monday, September 1, 2003, 04:13 p.m.:.

Bangkok...i'm contemplating now. To go or not to go? I have to decide asap coz it's next week. yea, bookings have been made but suddenly my heart just feels so heavy. usually when i wanna travel and i had a bad feeling about it, i would call the trip off. this time, i dun feel too good about the trip. its not because of the people i'm travelling with, i would love to go with anne and rina. not because i'm broke, i have put the money aside. its more of security issues. the uncertainties lurking around dampen my mood. so far, thailand is still safe but... the last time i flew to bali, 3 months after the bali bombings, i had the same heavy feeling, maybe a little lesser.

i'm scheduled to leave for bangkok on the sept 11 and i'm flying on indian airlines, alone. were talking/discussing about it during lunch just now with my colleagues and they came up with so many speculations which indeed influenced my decision to go on the trip. i have to decided by tonite coz anne and rina need to make their hotel bookings asap. i hate to disappoint them. been planning this trip and been wanting to make it happen. decisions, decisions, decisions.

.:Monday, September 1, 2003, 11:50 a.m.:.

Had a good weekend. The SPF Family day opening ceremony at zouk on saturday was allright. the food was good, i love the strawberries and cream. i didnt eat much though coz no appetite. the music sux so i didnt really enjoy myself on the dancefloor. it was nice to see habib who is all skinny now and syed faizal. we all had fun despite the bad music. after zouk, made my way to city hall to meet butterscotch, had an early dinner at bk and headed to fort canning for womad. mag, faizan, rini and family were already there. anne and rina joined us soon after. by then, the whole place was already packed. the whole event was spectacular. i truly enjoyed myself though i was very tired and butterscotch wasnt in a good mood. he was quiet all night. all the performers were awesome and their music was really, really good and unique. samsiah's engagement yesterday was a sweet affair as well. we've not met each other since we graduated from sec sch. i was so touched that she actually remembers me and invited me over. she didnt invite many frens, only a few of us. met sarina and bf there so it was nice as well. samsiah looked all pretty in this gold/beige baju kurung and she definitely had put on a lot of weight. we didnt stay long coz there were so many guests. will definitely meet her up again one of these days. got home, changed and butterscotch and i made our way to tampines. we were walking aimlessly when suddenly butterscotch stopped in his track and asked what the hell were we doing in tamp, on a sunday where it was all so crowded. we went to the mrt station and take a look at the mrt route. changi airport caught my eyes and off we went there. furthermore, butterscotch have not travel to the airport by train and seen the futuristic looking mrt station. we walked around for a bit and had dinner at popeyes'. The airport was quite busy on a sunday evening so it was not that peaceful. but 1 thing i love to see, the arrival and departure screen. sumthing about it that just got me glued to it.