About the Blog
Webhostess (Nicky): Well... I did this because of the fact it's for my Fiancee.. And one of his favorite characters from Babylon 5 is Michael Garibaldi. I figured that I'd try to give him something that he'd enjoy working on. Waves cutely from behind the safety of her muses To tell the truth... This one sorta scares me. Or maybe it's just the fact this is a non-anime set up.... Donny:Looks up from a wrestling site to figure out what she's going on about and figures it's safer not knowing....
Staff File Name :
Donny, Don or D.
|
|
- Magnolia Just a quick update, for those of you who have been harrassing me about doing so - There will be a new redesign in the next couple of weeks, courtesy of my sister, the HTML Goddess that she is. I will also post one massive mother of an update that will cover the last year. Originally, it was going to be called Six Months On The Edge, but that's because it was supposed to have been posted six months ago. Procrastinate? Me?? Well, maybe when I get around to it. For those of you keeping notes at home (yes, both of you), this Friday will be the one year anniversary of the TIA. That means that I've gone five months past the expiration date that was stamped on my forehead and there's no sign of trouble. In fact, I'm in the best shape I've ever been in. Okay, so that's the update. Happy? Be cool, eat fruit. Live - Heaven You don't need no friends Get back your faith again You have the power to believe Another dissident Take back your evidence It has no power to decieve I'll believe it when I see it, for myself I don't need no one to tell me about heaven I look at my daughter, and I believe I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth I can see the sunset and I perceive I sit with them all night Everything they say is right But in the morning they were wrong I'll be right by your side Come hell or water high Down any road you choose to roam I'll believe it when I see it for myself I don't need no one to tell me about heaven I look at my daughter, and I believe I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth I can see the sunset and I perceive, yeah Darling, I believe, Oh Lord Sometimes it's hard to breathe, Lord At the bottom of the sea, yeah yeah I'll believe it when I see it for myself I don't need no one to tell me about heaven I look at my daughter, and I believe. I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth I can see the sunset and I perceive I don't need no one to tell me about heaven I look at my daughter, and I believe I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth I can see the sunset I can see the sunset I can see the sunset I don't need no one Ohhhh I don't need no one I don't need no one I don't need no one To tell me about heaven I believe I believe it, yeah Limp Bizkit - Crack Addict 3... 2... 1... Here we go again Right now Let’s go Me and you Toe to toe Let's make it rock Make it roll Here we go again Right now Let’s go Me and you Toe to toe Let's make it rock Make it roll You see its one for the trouble And two for the time One for the trouble And two for the time One for the trouble And two for the time Come on y'all and let’s rock Now I'm gonna full up my lungs with some butane Turn the mic into a flame Damn that shit's hot Super heavy Build like a Chevy and I ain't really mad at the "hey hey" Round two You ready for a break? You keep on talking I’m gonna break you up something like this Full throttle Better be prepared Coming with the kick and the snare Apocalypse now Who's talkin' shit now Gimme the countdown 3... 2... 1! Here we go again Right now Let’s go Me and you Toe to toe Let's make it rock Make it roll Here we go again Right now Let’s go Me and you Toe to toe Let's make it rock Make it roll I want to throw you Tell you to your face right now Not really sure right now Not really sure I know how Gonna try Gonna try Give you a piece of my mind Gonna try Gonna try And I hope you don’t mind I’m a crack addict That’s right I’m a crack addict You heard me I’m a crack addict I’m addicted to crackin' skulls who cause more static It’s time to panic I’m addicted to crackin' skulls who cause more static It’s time to panic I’m addicted to crackin' skulls who cause more static Here we go again Right now Let’s go Me and you Toe to toe Let's make it rock Make it roll Here we go again Right now Let’s go Me and you Toe to toe Let's make it rock Make it roll I'm gonna fight them all, a seven nation army couldn't hold me back They're gonna rip it off, taking their time right behind my back And I'm talking to myself at night because I can't forget Back and forth through my mind behind the cigarette And the message coming from my eye, it say's leave it alone Don't want to hear about it, every single woman's got a story to tell Everyone knows about it, from the queen of england to the hounds of hell And if I catch you coming back my way, I'm gonna serve it to you And that ain't what you want to hear, but that's what I'll do And the feeling coming from my bone, it says find a home I'm goin' to Wichita, far from this opera forever more I'm gonna work the straw, make the sweat drip out of every pore And I'm bleedin', and I'm bleedin', and I'm bleedin' right before the Lord All the words are gonna bleed from me and I will sing no more And the stain's coming from my blood tell me go back home Warren Zevon - Lawyers, Guns & Money Well, I went home with the waitress The way I always do How was I to know She was with the Russians, too I was gambling in Havana I took a little risk Send lawyers, guns and money Dad, get me out of this I'm the innocent bystander Somehow I got stuck Between the rock and the hard place And I'm down on my luck And I'm down on my luck And I'm down on my luck Now I'm hiding in Honduras I'm a desperate man Send lawyers, guns and money The shit has hit the fan - Behind Enemy Lines Rolling Stones - Highwire We sell 'em missiles, We sell 'em tanks We give 'em credit, We even call the bank It's just a business, You can pay us in crude You love these toys, just go play out your feuds Got no pride, don't know whose boots to lick We act so greedy, makes me sick sick sick So get up, stand up, out of my way I want to talk to the boss right away Get up, stand up, whose gonna pay I want to talk to the man right away We walk the highwire Sending the men up to the front line Hoping they don't catch the hell fire With hot guns and cold, cold nights We walk the highwire Sending the men up to the front line And tell 'em to hotbed the sunshine With hot guns and cold, cold nights Our lives are threatened, our jobs at risk Sometimes dictators need a slap on the wrist Another Munich we just can't afford We're gonna send in the 82nd Airborne Get up, stand up, who's gonna pay I wanna talk to the boss right away Get up, stand up, outta my way I wanna talk to the man right away We walk the highwire Putting the world out on a deadline And hoping they don't catch the shellfire With hot guns and cold, cold nights We walk the highwire Putting the world out on a deadline Playing Capture the Flag on primetime With hot guns and cold, cold nights Get up! Stand up! Fire! We walk the highwire We send all our men to the front lines We're hoping that we backed the right side With hot guns and cold, cold nights We walk the highwire We send all the men up to the front lines And hoping they don't catch the hellfire With hot guns and cold cold, cold, cold, cold nights We walk the highwire We walk the highwire With hot guns and cold, cold, cold nights With hot guns and cold, cold nights Sit tight, boys. Help is on the way. Our prayers are with you. Shepard: Lewis, we've had Presidents who were beloved, who couldn't find a coherent sentence with two hands and a flashlight. People don't drink the sand because they're thirsty, Lewis. They drink it because they don't know the difference - The American President Matchbox 20 - Unwell All day staring at the ceiling Making friends with shadows on my wall All night hearing voices telling me That I should get some sleep Because tomorrow might be good for something Hold on Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown And I don't know why But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be...me I'm talking to myself in public Dodging glances on the train And I know, I know they've all been talking about me I can hear them whisper And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me Out of all the hours thinking Somehow I've lost my mind But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be I've been talking in my sleep Pretty soon they'll come to get me Yeah, they're taking me away But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be Yeah, how I used to be How I used to be Well, I'm just a little unwell How I used to be How I used to be I'm just a little unwell - Gladiator Sister Hazel - Sword and Shield Just when the sky runs out of rain Just when the sun runs out of light Just when the earth is ill with pain Just when your body is out of fight I will be there I will be the smallest piece in everything And I would give my life before I break this promise to you Melt in to me Don't you want to be the ones that last forever I'll be your everlasting And enemies they take your will but they won't last forever I'll be your sword and shield and I'll be your sword I'll be your shield Just when the ocean starts to dry Just when the air is sick with smoke Just when the statues start to cry And fallen angels they lay broken I will be there I will be the smallest piece in everything And I would lose my life before I break this promise to you Melt in to me Don't you want to be the ones that last forever I'll be your everlasting And enemies they take your peace but they won't last forever I'll be your sword and shield and I'll be your sword I'll be your shield I'll be your gracious angel I'll be your favorite stranger I'll be the mortar holding your walls I'll be your army Just when the sky runs out of rain Just when the sun runs out of light Just when the earth is ill with pain Just when your body is out of fight I will be there I will be the smallest piece in everything And I would give my life before I break this promise to you Melt in to me Don't you want to be the ones that last forever I'll be your everlasting And enemies they take your peace but they wont last forever I'll be your sword and shield and I'll be your sword I'll be your shield I'll be your sword I'll be your shield I'll be your army - Unknown Busta Rhymes & Ozzy Osborne - This Means War [Busta Rhymes] Just make sure them, them drums is smackin' This, means, WAR!! I work hard to take care of every one of my people Feel the love and appreciation from all of my people When I think meditate and contemplate for my soul watch the truth manifest once the story unfold Disloyal motherfuckers I'ma BANISH you all and celebrate all in your absence once I get rid of y'all Sometimes I can't describe the wicked shit I feel in my heart Break my silence and sporadically tear you apart Strike with a serious vengeance and before you die Put you through the worst and make you take a look in my eye! So you could witness the extreme damage caused by betrayal Make you sorry for the fact that you attempted and failed! Make you eternally suffer, you was one of my mens Turn your back on me, and I'ma make sure you get it back times ten Stay TRUE -- now that's the one thing I religiously pledge If you ain't wit' me I'ma throw you WAY over the edge THIS MEANS WAR!! [Ozzy Osbourne] Take a look inside You can run and you can hide If you cross my path I'll make sure you feel my wrath Give and you receive Cherish every breath you breathe Scriptures on the wall Those who betray all must fall [Busta Rhymes] As I cherish every blessing and I greet you with hugs You my peoples when I see you I embrace you with love Yeah I be the one to come and get you out of the hole Yeah you be the one to run and leave me out in the cold So amazing how many times you plot and you scheme But what you don't realize, you'll never conquer my dream Though devilish karma can't penetrate the steel in my armor Time passed, my oppression got you living with drama! Paranoid of my retaliation, living in fear Disloyalty will have me kill my brother, sheddin' a tear Such a shame how you could easily get trapped in a zone And have to go to war with FAKE bitches standin' alone Until I get with all my loyal people goin' the length Don't matter how hard you try you never weaken my strength! Now I'm with all of my loyal brothers, breakin' the bread And if you diss the code of honor we takin' your head; THIS MEANS WAR!! [Ozzy Osbourne] Take a look inside You can run and you can hide If you cross my path I'll make sure you feel my wrath Give and you receive Cherish every breath you breathe Scriptures on the wall Those who betray all must fall Nobody helps them Now he has his revenge [Busta Rhymes] Whatchu gon' do? Whatchu gonna do? Where you think you can run, or you can hide? Where you think you can run, or you can hide?!! Where you think you can run, or you can hide?!!! Where you think you can run, or you can hide?!!!! I'ma BE the best to show love let's co-operate Disloyalty is somethin' that we won't tolerate Deal with these, let's put them where they properly go On the Island far away in a place where NOBODY know So long fightin' the bullshit for so many years Watchin the danger and friends double crossin' they peers Yes I always fight for what is right and put my foot down Disrespect my love, I'ma be LAYIN' YOU DOWN THIS MEANS WAR! [Ozzy Osbourne] Take a look inside You can run and you can hide If you cross my path I'll make sure you feel my wrath Give and you receive Cherish every breath you breathe Scriptures on the wall Those who betray all must fall - Tod Gordon John Mayer - Why Georgia I am driving up 85 in the Kind of morning that lasts all afternoon just stuck inside the gloom 4 more exits to my apartment but I am tempted to keep the car in drive And leave it all behind Cause I wonder sometimes About the outcome Of a still verdictless life Am I living it right? Am I living it right? Am I living it right? Why Georgia, why? I rent a room and I fill the spaces with Wood in places to make it feel like home But all I feel's alone It might be a quarter life crisis Or just the stirring in my soul Either way I wonder sometimes About the outcome Of a still verdictless life Am I living it right? Am I living it right? Am I living it right? Why Georgia, why? So what, so I've got a smile on But it's hiding the quiet superstitions in my head Don't believe me When I say I've got it down Everybody is just a stranger but That's the danger in going my own way I guess it's the price I have to pay Still "everything happens for a reason" Is no reason not to ask myself If I am living it right Am I living it right? Am I living it right? Why Georgia, why? - Roddy Piper Blues Traveler - Hook It doesn't matter what I say So long as I sing with inflection That makes you feel that I'll convey Some inner truth of vast reflection But I've said nothing so far And I can keep it up for as long as it takes And it don't matter who you are If I'm doing my job then it's your resolve that breaks Because the hook brings you back I ain't tellin' you no lie The hook brings you back On that you can rely There is something amiss I am being insincere In fact I don't mean any of this Still my confession draws you near To confuse the issue I refer To familiar heroes from long ago No matter how much Peter loved her What made the Pan refuse to grow Was that the hook brings you back I ain't tellin' you no lie The hook brings you back On that you can rely Suck it in suck it in suck it in If you're Rin Tin Tin or Anne Boleyn Make a desperate move or else you'll win And then begin To see What you're doing to me this MTV is not for free It's so PC it's killing me So desperately I sing to thee Of love Sure but also rage and hate and pain and fear of self And I can't keep these feelings on the shelf I've tried well no in fact I lied Could be financial suicide but I've got too much pride inside To hide or slide I'll do as I'll decide and let it ride until I've died And only then shall I abide this tide Of catchy little tunes Of hip three minute ditties I wanna bust all your balloons I wanna burn all of your cities To the ground I've found I will not mess around Unless I play then hey I will go on all day hear what I say I have a prayer to pray That's really all this was And when I'm feeling stuck and need a buck I don't rely on luck because... The hook brings you back I ain't tellin' you no lie The hook... On that you can rely - "Something Funny Happened On The Way To Real Life: The Unbelieveable True Stories Of Information Super Highway Road Kill" Chapter 34, 'Infinite Possibilities' Don Henley - Everything Is Different Now I hate to tell you this, but I'm very, very happy And I know that's not what you'd expect from me at all I'm not the kind to smile and bow out gracefully I always wanted to take it to the wall But I found somebody with a heart as big as Texas I found an angel with the golden wings She saw me down here in the dark somehow And everything is different now Yeah, I miss the old crowd sometimes And the wild, wild nights of running You know, a starving soul can't live like that for long You go around in circles that just keep getting smaller You wake up one morning and half your life is gone I got so tired of that; I got so lonely I dropped down and I called out to heaven Send me someone to love. And heaven shot back, You get the love that you allow. And everything is different now Oh, and it's sweet to know The wisdom that living brings Since I got a telegram from the god of simple things She said, "I don't care what you do for a living." She said, "I don't care what kind of car you drive." All I want to know right now is what do you believe in And what it means to you to be alive Will you stand here in this fire with me? Are you ready for another life? So I bit that bullet and I took that vow And everything is different now Everything is different now Hey, Hey Did you ever think There might be another way To just feel better, Just feel better about today Oh no If you never want to have To turn and go away You might feel better, Might feel better if you stay Yeah yeah I bet you haven't heard A word I've said Yeah yeah If you've had enough Of all your tryin' Just give up The state of mind you're in If you want to be somebody else, If you're tired of fighting battles with yourself If you want to be somebody else Change your mind Hey hey Have you ever danced in the rain Or thanked the sun Just for shining, just for shining Or the sea? Oh no Take it all in The world's a show And yeah, you look much better, Look much better when you glow Yeah yeah I hope you've heard Every word I've said Yeah yeah If you've had enough Of all your tryin' Just give up The state of mind you're in If you want to be somebody else, If you're tired of fighting battles with yourself If you want to be somebody else Change your mind Hey hey What ya say We both go and seize the day 'cause what's your hurry What's your hurry anyway Yeah yeah I hope you heard Every word I've said Yeah yeah If you've had enough Of all your tryin' Just give up The state of mind you're in If you want to be somebody else, If you're tired of losing battles with yourself If you want to be somebody else Change your mind Okay, this is where we have a little "Come to Jesus" time. I fully expect people to stop talking to me after this, but that's alright. Confession is good for the soul and I need to get this out. Game's over, gang. "What game?" you ask. The one I've been playing with everybody under the sun. I've grown tired of it. The whole "woe is me, does anyone still care?" bullshit act has finally gotten old. Oooh... I can feel the shock and dismay from here. Well, buckle up, snookums, it's about to get serious. You see, guys, for the last few months, it's probably seemed like I was so out of it, I always needed to have someone to tell me what to do. Well, the fact of the matter is that I was so worried about making mistakes and I was so afraid of what you'd think of me if I screwed up, I overcompensated and ended up making things worse. I tried to involve everyone in everything, which was a bigger mistake than any other I could have made. I have come to realize just how ridiculous this all has been. I don't need anyone to hold my hand, but I sure as hell made it seem that way, didn't I? I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to put that on you. It was a game, like I said. Not that I didn't feel like I needed help at the time, but I should have been stronger and not brought other people into it, but I did. The whole point of this is to say that I know I should to trust myself. I don't need to have constant counsel, as it has seemed lately. You are my friends and I love you dearly, but I guess it's gotten to the point that I don't need anyone and, truthfully, no one needs me. We're just here. And I'm cool with that. If my friends can't deal with me making mistakes on my own, then they probably weren't really my friends to begin with. After everything that has happened since Thanksgiving, that point has been driven home pretty hard. I am going to be my own person. And for those of you who have known me for awhile, that's probably a relief. For those of you who have just joined the cast, that's probably a shock. I'm not playing the game anymore. And what happens after this is going to be a hell of a lot of fun. Yeah, shake it up. You've done it now You've gone and made a big mistake And I can't allow, you to think you can just walk away So turn around, and face the piper you're gonna pay 'cause the end is now This is gonna be your judgement day A cheap shot That's the way that you play the game I was blindsided, things will never ever be the same Nice guys, it's said they always finish last But badasses, always kick an asshole's ass Kick it! You're gonna Pay, You're Gonna Pay There's no forgiveness this time You're gonna pay, you're gonna pay It's my business, you're mine You're gonna pay, you're gonna pay I'm burning these walls to the ground You're gonna pay, You're gonna pay I'm gonna bring you down You're gonna pay, you're gonna pay You're gonna pay, you're gonna pay No more chances No more excuses, no lies Your story's ending, time to say your goodbyes Nice guys, it's said they always finish last Asshole, Kick it Kick it You're gonna pay, you're gonna pay There's no forgiveness this time You're gonna pay, you're gonna pay It's my business, you're mine You're gonna pay, you're gonna pay I'm burning these walls to the ground You're gonna pay, you're gonna pay I'm gonna bring you down You're gonna pay, you're gonna pay You're gonna pay, you're gonna pay It is said that you should be careful of who you trust. If you make a single mistake in those choices, you could pay for it for the rest of your life. You would think that I'd have learned that lesson by now. But, no... someone always has to bury that knife a little bit deeper the next time around, just to see if they can get your attention. Damn, was that ever a mistake. So, this is Christmas? Doesn't much feel like it. This isn't the typical Charlie Brown, "Oh, Linus, I don't see the point. Christmas has become too commercial" blues either. This is deeper than that, and I don't much care for it. You know, I used to love this time of year. The lights and the decorations and the time to spend with loved ones... it was perfect. Keyword: Was. This year's different. I get to experience the cold, hard truth of this time of year: The Holidays are for those who have people to spend them with. I don't have that anymore. I knew that it was going to be bad this year, because it's my first Christmas without Nick. But, that's the tip of the iceberg. Everyone has flown the coop. Grandmother? Staying at the Nursing Home. Mom? Living in Florida. Brother? Living in Florida. It's just me this year. No tree. No dinner. No gifts. No music. To hell with it. All of it. Oh, I'm sorry... was that too bitter for this joyous, magical time of year? The holidays exist for one reason: To remind those of us who don't have anyone of just how bad our lives suck. Well, I don't need the reminder, thank you all the same. You can fold it five ways and tuck it under your rumble seat. I just want this to be over with. Note to self: Tomorrow, sleep in. There's no reason to get out of bed anyway. - With Honors Sarah McLachlan - Hold On Hold on Hold on to yourself For this is gonna hurt like hell Hold on Hold on to yourself. You know that only time can tell What is it in me that refuses to believe This isn't easier than the real thing My love you know that you're my best friend You know that I'd do anything for you And my love Let nothing come between us My love for you is strong and true Am I in Heaven here or am I... At the crossroads I am standing So now you're sleeping peaceful I lie awake and pray that you'll be strong tomorrow and will see another day and we will praise it and love the light that brings a smile across your face Oh God If you're out there won't you hear me I know we've never talked before And oh God The One I love is leaving Won't you take them when they come to your door Am I in Heaven here or am I in Hell at the crossroads I am standing So now you're sleeping peaceful I lie awake and pray That you'll be strong tomorrow and we will see another day and we will praise it and love the light that brings a smile across your face Hold on Hold on to yourself For this is gonna hurt like Hell Billy Pilgrim - Insomniac I can see you, don't even know you Falling into the sheets at night I place my hands flat on my chest I feel the heart beat back the night I try counting sheep, and I talk to the shepherd And I play with my pillow for ever and ever I sit alone and I watch the clock I breathe in on the tick and out on the tock I can hear your bare feet on the kitchen floor I don't have to have these dreams no more Cause I've found someone just to hold me tight Hold the insomniac all night Dig my head down deep so I can't hear the cars outside on the street And the stars are laughing They get a kick out of my misery I tried everything short of Aristotle to Dramamine And the whiskey bottle Pray for the day when my ship comes in I can sleep the sleep of the just again I can hear your bare feet on the kitchen floor I don't have to have these dreams no more Cause I've found someone just to hold me tight Hold the insomniac all night I can hear your bare feet on the kitchen floor I don't have to have these dreams no more Cause I've found someone just to hold me tight Hold the insomniac all night Do you remember that? Nobody's going to like what comes next. - Twister Have you ever had your life change so much that you're not entirely sure that it's still your own anymore? That's where I am now. Where to begin... Well, first of all, I've moved into a new house. The place is great. Four bedrooms, all hardwood floors, three fireplaces (including one in my bedroom) and a spare room to use as a game room or a computer room (AKA: Mission Control). The bathroom, though, is cracking me up. It's an antique bathroom and it still has the original fixtures and tub from the 30s. That means the tub is up on legs and there are seperate fawcets for hot and cold water at the sink. That's taking some getting used to, but it's cool. I started a new job this week. The people there are awesome. It's a company full of comic book and wrestling geeks! I am with my people! And I'm making more money than I ever have. Can't beat that, right? I'll go into more detail later... Finally, as my friends know, I've been overweight virtually my entire life. Well, as of yesterday, I'm down to 195lbs. That's still heavy, but considering I was around 240lbs at the beginning of the year, I'm pretty proud of myself. It all sounds great, doesn't it? There's still a problem... I have no one to share all of this with. The truth of the matter is that if I could go back just one year, I would. I would trade all of the relative good fortune... the house, the job, the lost weight... all of it, just to have my old life back. I know that change is supposed to be a good and healthy thing, but I'm not feeling that today. I don't know who I am anymore. I feel like I've lost my way and somehow, I ended up in someone else's life. It's not a bad life... it's just not mine. *sigh* Someone set the Wayback Machine for 2001. - Angel, "Apocalypse Nowish" Jimmy Buffett - Take Another Road Seen the false horizons fade away like bisons Headed for the jungle, cowboy can't endure Never look back, that's what he swore I'll take my pony to the shore Somewhere, somewhere Take another road to a hiding place Disappear without a trace Take another road to another time On another road in another time Like a novel from the five and dime Take another road another time Follow the equator, like that old articulator Sail upon the ocean just like Mr. Twain Never look back, this is my plan Run my pony through the sand Somewhere, somewhere Take another road to a hiding place Disappear without a trace Take another road to another time On another road in another time Like a novel from the five and dime Take another road another time Leave my cares behind Take my own sweet time Ocean's on my mind Take another road to a hiding place Disappear without a trace Take another road to another time On another road in another time Like a novel from the five and dime Take another road another time Take another road to a hiding place Disappear without a trace Take another road to another time On another road in another time Like a novel from the five and dime Take another road another time Yeah... nobody's going to like what comes next. - Smallville, "Ryan" David Gray - The Other Side Meet me on the other side Meet me on the other side I'll see you on the other side See you on the other side Honey now if I'm honest I still don't know what love is Another mirage folds into the haze of time recalled And now the floodgates cannot hold All my sorrow all my rage A tear that falls on every page Meet me on the other side Meet me on the other side Maybe I oughta mention Was never my intention To harm you or your kin Are you so scared to look within The ghosts are crawling on our skin We may race and we may run We'll not undo what has been done Or change the moment when it's gone Meet me on the other side Meet me on the other side I'll see you on the other side I'll see you on the other side I know it would be outrageous To come on all courageous And offer you my hand To pull you up on to dry land When all I got is sinking sand That trick ain't worth the time it buys I'm sick of hearing my own lies And love's a raven when it flies Meet me on the other side Meet me on the other side I'll see you on the other side See you on the other side Honey now if I'm honest I still don't know what love is President John Sheridan The Phoenix Suddenly I realize that there's no escaping who you are. You can run as much as you like, but there's no getting away from what is inside your head. This calls for a change of plan and direction. As good ol' JR would say, "Business is about to pick up." T-Minus: 6 months, 8 days. Coming Soon: Six Months On The Edge
 Congratulations, you're John Sheridan, war hero, commander of Babylon 5, and president of the Interstellar Alliance. Which Babylon 5 Character are you? Take the Babylon 5 Quizby Paradox.  You are a phoenix. What legend are you?. Take the Legendary Being Quiz by Paradox Empty pockets never stopped Me from singing a blue streak And I don't think the devil Ever gonna give me back And stayin' 'round here takes Patience It's like a full time occupation I've become a diplomaniac Hey mean old gal you know the cross-town Bus just rolled Yeah I'm the same old number But we still got time to go Oh I say mama living ain't a luxury Oh I say mama and a lil' ain't enough for me Yeah I'm believing that you needin' your Relaxation But honey tell me can you tell that Story twice? Cause there's a function at the junction I think ya better get it all ready girl See I was born without a silver spoon But I'm gonna make a stir Was vaccinated with a phonograph needle One summer break And then I kissed her on her daddy's boat And shot across the lake And was singin' it Oh I say mama living ain't a luxury Oh I say mama and a lil' ain't enough for me Oh I say mama living ain't a luxury Oh I say mama and a lil' ain't enough for me Was vaccinated with a phonograph needle One summer break Same summer that I kissed her on her daddy's boat And shot across the lake Yeah! Oh I say mama living ain't a luxury Oh I say mama and a lil' ain't enough for me Oh I say mama living ain't a luxury Oh I say mama and a lil' ain't enough for me Coming Soon: Six Months On The Edge Wallace: I'm going to pick a fight. Hamish: Well, we didn't get dressed up for nothing. - Braveheart Fight I, I know your every move I've heard your every word I know you well And I've got nothing left to prove Your threats I find absurd I am your Hell Everytime you think that I'm done I come back stronger Everytime you that you've got me I will fight you And I will put you in the ground I will fight 'til there's nothing left 'Til my legs are gone You won't forget me And I will fight 'til my final breath Just to see you fall I'll make you fear me Everytime you think I'm done I come back stronger And everytime you think that you've got me I will fight you And I will put you in the ground I will fight 'til there's nothing left 'Til my legs are gone You won't forget me... And everytime you think I'm done I come back stronger And everytime you think that you've got me I will fight you Everytime you think that I'm done I come back stronger And everytime you think that you've got me I will fight you And I will put you in the ground Now... now you're messing with a son of a bitch n. pl. Ser·en·dip·i·ties 1. The faculty of making fortunate discoveries by accident. 2. The fact or occurrence of such discoveries. 3. An instance of making such a discovery. You know... it's true. Everything can change in one night. Bap Kennedy - Moonlight Kiss I can feel my heart And it's fit to burst I try to clean it up But I just get worse Wish I could fall On a night like this Into your lovin' arms For a moonlight kiss I thought I saw your face In the evenin' sky On a lonesome cloud That was driftin' by I wish I could fall On a night like this Into your lovin' arms For a moonlight kiss You got someone else Maybe it's for the best Since I took the cure For happiness And I'd trade it all On a night like this For your lovin' arms And a moonlight kiss For your lovin' arms And a moonlight kiss Lovin' arms And a moonlight kiss Dean: They should make pills for this. - "Serendipity" Please, God... Please don't let it be too late. One more chance, that's all I ask. Babylon 5, "Comes The Inquisitor" Blues Traveler - The Gunfighter I'm taken aback But still I let it ride No sudden movements I ease my hand real slow Then my hands are like lightning And the bullets start to fly I was almost in the clear too With just inches left to go And if it's the fool who likes to rush in And if it's the angel who never does try And if it's me who will lose or win Then I'll make my best guess and I won't care why C'mon and get me you twist of fate I'm standing right here Mr. Destiny If you want to talk well then I'll relate If you don't so what cause you don't scare me Time comes when I'm older And a new kid hits the street They'll say he's fast and he looks for me And he says I'm going down And though I try to avoid this man Eventually we'll meet He draws faster than I can see and knocks me to the ground And if it's the fool who likes to rush in And if it's the angel who never does try And if it's me who will lose or win Then I'll make my best guess and I won't care why C'mon and get me you twist of fate I'm standing right here Mr. Destiny If you want to talk well then I'll relate If you don't so what cause you don't scare me So I'm lying in the street there And the lights are getting dim Preacher man comes and tells me Repent it's time to pray You only have to lose once But you never always win I smile at him with my last words And this is what I'll say Well if it's the fool who likes to rush in And if it's the angel who never does try And if it's me who will lose or win Then I'll make my best guess and I won't care why C'mon and get me you twist of fate I'm standing right here Mr. Destiny If you want to talk well then I'll relate If you don't so what cause you don't scare me C'mon and get me you twist of fate I'm standing right here Mr. Destiny If you want to talk well then I'll relate If you don't so what cause you don't scare me Londo: I saw my death in a dream. I was an old man. How do I know I won't survive this? Perhaps this will pass and I will get better. The dream is prophecy. Vir: Prophecy is a guess that comes true. When it doesn't then it's a metaphor. You could put a gun to your head tomorrow and pull the trigger and then the dream is just a dream. That prophecy is just a metaphor and so are you. - Babylon 5, "The Very Long Night of Londo Mollari" Van Halen - Dream Another Dream I see the power Changin' hands Risin' from the streets A self made businessman Knows how the system can be beat Oh, we're the lost generation Have no place to go The road to destruction Is all we need to know Cause it's a rip off We're stripped, drawn, and cheated We're flat stone cold lied to But we're not defeated Easy money It's your way out Join the Family No middleman No I.R.S. Your ticket out of poverty Oh, we're the lost generation I hold fate from a string Lookin' for direction Reachin' out for anything Dream another dream This dream is over Dream another dream This dream is over Dream another dream This dream is over So dream another dream Oh, it's a rip off We're stepped on an' cheated Flat stone cold lied to We're not defeated Dream another dream, this dream is over Dream another dream, this dream is over Dream another dream, this dream is over Dream another dream Dream another dream... Sheridan: My father taught me to live each second as though it would be the last moment of my life. He said: 'When you love, love without reservation. When you fight, fight without fear.' He called it "The Way of the Warrior." - Babylon 5, "The Coming of Shadows" - Babylon 5, "Z'ha'dum" Bruce Springsteen - Countin' On A Miracle It's a fairy tale so tragic There's no prince to break the spell I don't believe in the magic But for you I will, for you I will If I'm a fool, I'll be a fool Darlin' for you I'm countin' on a miracle Baby I'm countin' on a miracle Darlin' I'm countin' on miracle To come through There ain't no storybook story There's no never-ending song Our happily ever after Darlin' Forever come and gone I'm movin' on If I'm gonna believe I'll put my faith Darlin' in you I'm countin' on a miracle Baby I'm countin' on a miracle Darlin' I'm countin' on miracle To come through Sleeping beauty awakes from her dream With her lover's kiss on her lips Your kiss was taken from me Now all I have is this... Your kiss, your touch Your heart, your strength Your hope, your faith Your face, your love Your dream, your life I'm runnin' through the forest With the wolf at my heels My king is lost at midnight When the tower bells peal We've got no fairytale ending In God's hands our fate is complete Your heaven's here in my heart Our love's this dust beneath my feet Just this dust beneath my feet If I'm gonna live I'll lift my life Darlin' to you I'm countin' on a miracle Baby I'm countin' on a miracle Darlin' I'm countin' on miracle To come through Simon: When it comes to relationships everybody is a used car salesman. Monty: Is that your philosophy: Don't trust anyone? Simon: No, you gotta trust people. You just can't believe in the warranty. - With Honors Well, that was good for, what... two weeks? I feel a rant coming on... I'm back I'm back in the saddle again I'm back I'm back in the saddle again Ridin' into town alone By the light of the moon I'm looking for ol Sukie Jones She crazy horse saloon Barkeep gimme a drink That's when she caught my eye She turned to give me a wink That make a grown man cry I'm back in the saddle again I'm back I'm back in the saddle again I'm back Come easy, go easy All right until the rising sun I'm calling all the shots tonight I'm like a loaded gun Peelin' off my boots and chaps I'm saddle sore Four bits gets you time in the racks I scream for more Fools' gold out of their mines The girls are soaking wet No tongue's drier than mine I'll come when I get back I'm back I'm back in the saddle again I'm back I'm back in the saddle again I'm riding, I'm loading up my pistol I'm riding, I really got a fistful I'm riding, I'm shining up my saddle I'm riding, this snake is gonna rattle I'm back I'm back in the saddle again I'm back I'm back in the saddle again Ridin' high Ridin' high Ridin' high already Kenny Loggins - I'm Free Looking into your eyes I know I'm right If there's anything worth my love, it's worth a fight We only get one chance But nothing ties our hands You're what I want Listen to me Nothing I want Is out of my reach I'm Free Heaven helps the man who fights his fear Love's the only thing that keeps me here You're the reason that I'm hanging on My heart's staying where my heart belongs I'm free Running away will never make me free And nothing we sign is any kind of guarantee But I wanna hold you now And I won't hold you down I'm shaking the past Making my breaks Taking control If that's what it takes I'm Free Heaven helps the man who fights his fear Love's the only thing that keeps me here You're the reason that I'm hanging on My heart's staying where my heart belongs I'm free I wanna hold you now And I won't hold you down You're what I want Listen to me Nothing I want Is out of my reach I'm Free Heaven helps the man who fights his fear Love's the only thing that keeps me here You're the reason that I'm hanging on My heart's staying where my heart belongs I'm free Kid Rock - You Never Met One Like Me Yep I've been on the cover of the Rolling Stone I met the president when I was half stoned I been so high I've gotten confused I been beat down, broke and used Motherf'er I drank with Hank, talked blues with Billy Rocked with Run, sang with Shotgun Willy Went from small time Philly to big time Bobby From 3 day old chili to saki with wasabi I'm home hey I'm home You never met one quite like me Not like me, dida dada like me, hey like me No more bein' poured drink specials at Winners Or being ignored by the think straight sinners I used to smoke pinners while my moms made dinner Now I smoke bombs and rock with Lynyrd Skynyrd No beginners here I'm a seasoned vet Educated on jazz by my man Amed Heard again, my friend, I been the world and back But I'm good ol' Georgia boy, can you feel that? And I'm home You never met one quite like me Not like me, Goddamn like me, hey hey like me Never thought I'd go as far in life as this Never made par and I could give 2 shits Never wanted sell cars cause my dad was a dick Never wanted a guitar 'till I heard a lick like this -begins playing a riff from "Free Bird"- And from the depths of dixie to my northern spots You know its time to rock when ole glory drops I pimp through town with the top laid back Black hat, fine blonde, cold pabst in my lap I'll adapt To any and all situations That's why the call me the pimp of the nation You best believe I live in the woods not your world of greed Might, a little weed, might, a little yeah I'm so proud to be living in the USA You've never met one quite like me Hey hey like me, da di da da stay like me, hey hey hey like me You ain't ever met and you ain't never gonna meet You never met a, never met a, never never never never met One quite like me You ain't never met a mutha like me Hey you ain't never never never never never met someone like me Megs:Hey! Hey! Never met like me, Megs:Hey! Never met a mutha like me Megs:D, c'mon! Hey!! And you never, and never gonna never gonna meeeeeet Megs:Hey, enough already! You never meeeeeeeet Megs:Stop! What? Megs:D, there's more to life that just you. ...bwahahahaha! I have finished my course, I have kept the faith." - IITimothy 4:7 - Babylon 5, "Ship of Tears" Sheridan: What I want... is to stay alive, to be with you. But you were right before: This is about more than what I want. So I'm going, even though I know it's almost certainly a trap. Finally, I heard what you said when I left, and I want you to know... that I love you. Goodbye. - Babylon 5, "Z'Ha'Dum" Sheridan: It's getting darker. Lorien: I know. You're close, friend... very close. It's easy to find... something worth dying for. Do you have anything worth living for? Sheridan: I can't see you anymore. Lorien: As it should be. Sheridan: What if I fall? How will I know if you'll catch me? Lorien: I caught you before. Sheridan: What if I die? Lorien: I cannot create life. But I can breathe on the remaining embers. It may not work. Sheridan: But I can hope. Lorien: Hope... is all we have. - Babylon 5, "Whatever Happened to Mr. Garibaldi?" Lorien: You heard? Sheridan: I heard. Lorien: They need to believe. Sheridan: Not in me. Lorien: You can't save them all. Sheridan: I can try. Lorien: You'll fail. Sheridan: We'll see. - Babylon 5, "Falling Toward Apotheosis" A New Found Glory - My Friends Over You I’m drunk off your kiss For another night in a row This is becoming too routine for me But I did not mean to lead you on And it’s all right to pretend That we still talk It’s just for show, isn’t it It’s my fault that it fell apart Just maybe You need this And I didn’t mean to Lead you on You were everything I wanted But I just can't finish what I've started There’s no room left here on my back It was damaged long ago Though you swear that you are true I still pick my friends over you My friends over you Please tell me everything, That you think that I should know About all the plans we made When I was never to be found And it’s all right to forget That we still talk Its just for fun, isn’t it It’s my fault that it fell apart Cuz maybe you need this And I didn’t mean to Lead you on You were everything I wanted But I just can't finish what I've started There’s no room left here on my back It was damaged long ago Though you swear that you are true I still pick my friends over you My friends over you Just maybe you need this You need this And I didn’t mean to Lead you on You were everything I wanted But I just can't finish what I've started There’s no room left here on my back It was damaged long ago Though you swear that you are true I still pick my friends over you I'm sorry... I am truly sorry. But, only one person has the right to ask me to do that. And as much as I may care for you, you aren't her. Hobos and tramps Crosseyed mosquiteos and bowlegged ants I come before you to stand behind you to tell you something I know nothing about. As next Thursday is Good Friday, There will be a Fathers' meeting for Mothers only. Come if you can't Wear your best clothes if you don't have any Admission is free, pay at the door Pull up a chair and sit on the floor One fine day in the middle of the night Two boys began a fight Standing back to back to face each other They pulled out their swords and shot one another A deaf policeman heard the noise and beat the life from the two dead boys Now if you don't believe this story to be true Just ask the blind man, he saw it too. Our next meeting will be on the four corners of the round table. In a world where five months becomes three days, this actually makes sense. What's going on around me Is barely making sense I need some explanations fast I see my present partner In the imperfect tense And I don't see how we can last I feel I need a change of cast Maybe I'm on nobody's side And when she gives me reasons To justify each move They're getting harder to believe I know this can't continue I've still a lot to prove There must be more I could achieve But I don't have the nerve to leave Everybody's playing the game But nobody's rules are the same Nobody's on nobody's side Better learn to go it alone Recognize you're out on your own Nobody's on nobody's side The one I should not think of Keeps rolling through my mind And I don't want to let that go No lovers ever faithful No contract truly signed There's nothing certain left to know And how the cracks begin to show! Never make a promise or plan Take a little love where you can Nobody's on nobody's side Never stay too long in your bed Never lose your heart, use your head Nobody's on nobody's side. Never take a stranger's advice Never let a friend fool you twice Nobody's on nobody's side Never be the first to believe Never be the last to deceive Nobody's on nobody's side And never leave a moment too soon Never waste a hot afternoon Nobody's on nobody's side Never stay a minute too long Don't forget the best will go wrong Nobody's on nobody's side Better learn to go it alone Recognize you're out on your own Nobody's on nobody's side Londo: It is good to have friends, is it not Mr. Garibaldi, even if only for a little while? - Babylon 5, "Acts of Sacrifice" Dire Straits - Brothers In Arms These mist covered mountains Are a home now for me But my home is the lowlands And always will be Some day you'll return to Your valleys and your farms And you'll no longer burn To be brothers in arm Through these fields of destruction Baptism of fire I've watched all your suffering As the battles raged higher And though they did hurt me so bad In the fear and alarm You did not desert me My brothers in arms There's so many different worlds So many different suns And we have just one world But we live in different ones Now the sun's gone to hell And the moon's riding high Let me bid you farewell Every man has to die But it's written in the starlight And every line on your palm We're fools to make war On our brothers in arms nice voice. Looks to match?" Janson asked. Wedge struggled to keep from laughing, exchanged a glance with Tycho. "Well, yes, she's nice looking." "Married? Attached?" "Attached I think. Recently attached." To my nephew, Wedge added to himself, no matter how hard they try to keep others from noticing. "So who is she?" Wedge frowned as if remembering. "Jay something." He turned to Tycho. "Isn't that right?" "I think so." Returned Tycho. "Jay, Jay..." Wedge let his expression clear. "That's it. Jania Solo." Janson's face went pale. "The Jania Solo?" "I'm sure that's the name." "Sith Spawn. I was flirting with a nine year old." "Nineteen," added Tycho, "and she has more kills at that age then us three combined." Janson sighed, defeated. "I guess I'd better go apologize to her then throw myself on her lighsaber." Wedge shook his head. "No, just ask Han to shoot you. It would be more merciful and it is his right as a father" "You're still a nasty commanding officer, you know that?" Wedge merely smiled. - Star Wars: New Jedi Order - Rebel Stand Note to self: When the phone rings after 1am, it's either bad news or someone wanting something. Either way, don't answer the frapin' thing. Babylon 5, "Shadow Dancing" Eilerson: Where are you going? Gideon: To follow a friend into Hell. Crusade, "Memories of War" Ivanova: All love is unrequited, Steven. All of it. Babylon 5, "Rising Star" Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band - The Rising Can't see nothin' in front of me Can't see nothin' coming up behind I make my way through this darkness I can't feel nothing but this chain that binds me Lost track of how far I've gone How far I've gone, how high I've climbed On my back's a sixty pound stone On my shoulder a half mile of line Come on up for the rising Come on up, lay your hands in mine Come on up for the rising Come on up for the rising tonight Left the house this morning Bells ringing filled the air Wearin' the cross of my calling On wheels of fire I come rollin' down here Come on up for the rising Come on up, lay your hands in mine Come on up for the rising Come on up for the rising tonight There's spirits above and behind me Faces gone black, eyes burnin' bright May their precious blood bind me Lord, as I stand before your fiery light I see you Mary in the garden In the garden of a thousand sighs There's holy pictures of our children Dancin' in a sky filled with light May I feel your arms around me May I feel your blood mix with mine A dream of life comes to me Like a catfish dancin' on the end of my line Sky of blackness and sorrow (a dream of life) Sky of love, sky of tears (a dream of life) Sky of glory and sadness (a dream of life) Sky of mercy, sky of fear (a dream of life) Sky of memory and shadow (a dream of life) Your burnin' wind fills my arms tonight Sky of longing and emptiness (a dream of life) Sky of fullness, sky of blessed life Come on up for the rising Come on up, lay your hands in mine Come on up for the rising Come on up for the rising tonight Sometimes late at night I lie awake and watch her sleeping She's lost in peaceful dreams So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark And the thought crosses my mind If I never wake up in the morning Would she ever doubt the way I feel About her in my heart If tomorrow never comes Will she know how much I loved her Did I try in every way to show her every day That she's my only one And if my time on earth were through And she must face the world without me Is the love I gave her in the past Gonna be enough to last If tomorrow never comes 'Cause I've lost loved ones in my life Who never knew how much I loved them Now I live with the regret That my true feelings for them never were revealed So I made a promise to myself To say each day how much she means to me And avoid that circumstance Where there's no second chance to tell her how I feel If tomorrow never comes Will she know how much I loved her Did I try in every way to show her every day That she's my only one And if my time on earth were through And she must face the world without me Is the love I gave her in the past Gonna be enough to last If tomorrow never comes So tell that someone that you love Just what you're thinking of If tomorrow never comes Lynyrd Skynyrd - Free Bird If I leave here tomorrow Would you still remember me? For I must be travelling on, now, 'Cause there's too many places I've got to see. But, if I stayed here with you, girl, Things just couldn't be the same. 'Cause I'm as free as a bird now, And this bird you can not change. Lord knows, I can't change. Bye, bye, its been a sweet love. Though this feeling I can't change. But please don't take it badly, 'Cause Lord knows I'm to blame. But, if I stayed here with you girl, Things just couldn't be the same. Cause I'm as free as a bird now, And this bird you'll never change. And this bird you can not change. Lord knows, I can't change. Lord help me, I can't change. Meat Loaf - Heaven Can Wait Heaven can wait And a band of angels wrapped up in my heart Will take me through the lonely night Throught the cold of the day And I know, I know Heaven can wait And all the gods come down here just to sing for me And the melody's gonna make be fly Without pain, without fear Give me all of your dreams And let me go along on your way Give me all of your prayers to sing And I'll turn the night into the skylight of day I got a taste of paradise I'm never gonna let it slip away I got a taste of paradise It's all I really need to make me stay Just like a child again Heaven can wait And all I got is time until the end of time I won't look back, I won't look back Let the altars shine And I know that I've been released But I don't know to where And nobody's gonna tell me now And I don't really care, no no no I got a taste of paradise That's all I really need to make me stay I got a taste of paradise If I had it any sooner you know You know I never would have run away From my home Heaven can wait And all I got is time until the end of time I won't look back, I won't look back Let the altars shine Heaven can wait, heaven can wait I won't look back, I won't look back Let the altars shine, let the altars shine Jars of Clay - Boy On A String The marionette has your number She's pulling your arms and legs Till you can't stand on your own Dragging your conscience on the stage And your heart gets rearranged And you cannot tell you mentor From your Maker Look at the crowd bleeding with laughter Over the way you entertain at beckon call They don't see behind the lights Or the painted background They just like to see you fall But you don't really mind And you're just wasting time You don't feel anything You're a boy on a string I feel a sadness like Gapetto Watching the life that he created run away Seeing the puppeteer's intrusion And holding the remains Of puppets that had rotted away One day the curtain will not open And all of the crowds will go away Someday those strings will choke you But until that day You don't really mind And you're just wasting time You don't feel anything You're a boy on a string You don't really mind And you're just wasting time You don't feel anything You're a boy on a string Well, that retirement lasted, what, a week? Some things simply cannot go unanswered. I have spent every free moment I've had today talking to my friends, getting their feedback and opinions on how I should deal with this. And everyone reading knows what this is. How do you respond to something like that? Well, I guess the best thing you can battle exaggerations with is the truth. But, before I get to that... I've got something to say to everyone currently involved in this little greek tragedy. I'll only say it once for everyone up in the cheap seats. Ready? Okay, here goes... KNOCK THIS SHIT OFF! I mean, Sweet Holy Jebus Harold Crikey on a bowling pin, this is getting about ridiculous! At least I made an effort to keep some things private and personal, but screw it... if we're going off into Jerry Springerland, we might as well take the whole tour while we're here. First of all, I'll assume Nichole is reading this. Nick, I'm sorry. I didn't know what was happening until it was already done. If I could change it, I would. And I mean that. The truth of the matter is that I don't blame you for what has happened to me. Ultimately, everything that has happened can be pinned on me and I make no bones about that. I accept full responsibility for what happened between us. I should have done better... I should have done right by you and proved that I loved you more and just said "I love you" less. I should have trusted you more. But, you know... I told you, when you get screwed over enough times and lied to enough times, you come to expect it. You can't believe anyone, as much as you want to. When you told the first lie to me... that broke me right then and there. I just did a piss poor job of explaining it. That's my fault. Here's the problem... I was taught, at a late age, that if you treat everyone equally, they will respect you and they'll always be there for you, because you will have always been there for them. And you know that, because I told you this more than once. So, what happens when you meet someone that makes you feel more for them than you do for anyone else? It's hard to show it... and you still try to make time for everybody and sooner or later, something has to give. In this case, it was Nichole. And for that, I'm sorry. I honestly thought that you knew me better than that though... I took for granted that you knew how much I truely loved you. That's my fault. Mine. And I accept that. For the record, no... I have never loved anyone more than I love you. Not Kim, Lauren, Amanda, Heidi, Katy or Ana... even though I said otherwise when I was so incredibly angry with you. I shouldn't have said it. I shouldn't have thought it. But, I did and I can't take that back either. Again, this is my fault. Now... as far as Liza and Paul go... I know this is going to be difficult to believe, but they didn't listen to me about anything. That is painfully apparent by their reaction whenever I take the blame for what happened. If they had listened to me, they wouldn't have written what they did. The truth of the matter is that I didn't have to say anything. What they reacted to is what you posted on your blog and what you wrote to Liza. I didn't have anything to do with what you wrote. As hard as it may be for you to accept, that was your own doing. Don't blame me for that. You also shouldn't blame me for whatever rift there is between you and your friends in Alaska. Did you know that Chip and Lisa are moving to Atlanta after they get married? Did you know that Lisa made Liza swear not to tell you that they were going to be in the same area code as you? That didn't have anything to do with me either. Finally, you need to learn when to knock off the exaggerations. Three years of abuse? Now, you have had quite the time dragging me through the mud, and I was willing to accept it. Up to a point. We have gotten past that point. And now comes the part that you didn't want to deal with. Truth is a three edged sword. This is mine. Did I tell you that I didn't want you in the chatrooms? Absolutely. Why? Well, when you first moved in and I was still working at the paper, when I came home, you told me, on many occassions, that you had guys hitting on you and flirting with you. I could only deal with that for so long. I had a major issue with that and you should have been able to figure that out, because it certainly isn't a secret that I've got the self-esteem of a field mouse. Especially after the whole Ana debacle. After awhile, yeah... I said you couldn't do it anymore, but here's the important part... you agreed. You said I was right. You don't say that if you don't mean it, but you did. At that point, I thought it was settled, because we agreed that it was. I didn't force you, I didn't bully you. We simply agreed. Did I object to you wanting to go out to the dance at D*C? Yep. Did we end up going anyway? Yep. But the wait was too long and you decided that you wanted to go back to the hotel and sleep, even after I asked you half a dozen times if you were sure. If you don't believe me, you can ask B and Megs about that too. Or Brian, while you're at it. And here's the thing that you forget... I said that the dances were for single people. That was pretty much borne out to be true, because the next day B and Megs told us all about how they were hit on by the "con*crud" and how Kelly was trying to kiss them and all that. You forget, I have been to D*C for seven years. I know what the dances there, by and large, are like. And, there again, you said I was right. And as far as the difference between being bored and depressed... well, you don't go to the doctor with a broken neck and tell him you've got a sinus problem, do you? You didn't seem depressed when I was around, but admittedly, I was worried about moving and my job security (or lack thereof) and how we were going to afford anything if I did lose my job. I didn't want to put that on you because you were stressed out enough and I didn't want to add to it. But depressed? No... and if you had told me, which you would have had to, knowing full well I was preoccupied with possibly going to New Jersey and everything else that was going on at the time, I would have done something about it. You were right, Nichole... for a time, I didn't put you first, but it wasn't because of the gang. And that's my fault and I'm sorry. But, dammit... you should have told me. Finally, you complain about how you couldn't use the computer while I was home and I was keeping you from the gang in #The_Bronze, because they were never on when you had it. Nichole... I have talked to Paul, Berta, Megs and Liza practically everyday while I'm at work. The objection I had was when you were, by your own admission, flirting and being hit on by people that I didn't know. Do you honestly think that I was intentionally keeping you out of #The_Bronze? -sigh- As far as the time on the computer... you had the thing for 12 hours a day (7am - 7pm) five days a week. I used it on weekends and the couple of hours a night I was home and awake and not doing something else. Oh, but I'm the bad guy because, y'know, I actually wanted to enjoy something that I had bought. I'm not trying to be mean here... I'm just stating what happened. You make it sound like you were a prisoner at home, but you could have gone anywhere you wanted to go if you had only asked Robbie or Mom for a ride. And let me guess... you didn't have any money to spend? Y'know, there has to be some communication somewhere. If you had told me you were going out, I would have given you money or my bank card. God knows I didn't do that during Christmas, right? Hell, I didn't even give you my atm card before I left Alaska just to make sure you had money, right? Of course not, because I'm the bad guy. I never loved you, right? I never thought of you or looked out for you or tried to take care of you, right? I was just an overbearing, jealous prick who held you hostage for three years. You know... you told Paul that he didn't know what it was really like at home. Apparently you don't either. I wish I could be like you. I wish I could just remember the bad things and tailor fit memories to my specifications so it would make it easier for me to move on and despise you as much as you do me. I wish I could hate you as much as you hate me. But, I can't. I can't forget the good things. I can't pretend that every minute with you was misery. I still remember the good times. I still remember the way you would rest your head on my shoulder when you'd hug me when I came home. I still remember what it was like to hold your hand when we were watching a movie. I still remember how it felt when I held you during a thunderstorm and the look on your face when we went to see Springsteen - your first concert, my first concert with you. I can't forget those things or a thousand other good memories. And what hurts the most is that, according to the doctors, before the end of the year, I may not have those memories anymore. I honestly may not even be here. The truth of the matter is that, if I could spend my last bit of time as a normal person with anyone I wanted in anyway I wanted, I'd spend it with you, doing whatever you wanted to do. But, you don't want to hear that... I doubt you'll have even read this far. But, it is the truth, whatever little that may be worth. As for the people who ask why I am doing this? The people who keep telling me I should just let go and be with someone else. I'm sorry, I don't work that way. When I love someone... when I truely love them, it doesn't stop, no matter how angry I get or how hurt I am. I have forgiven everyone at some point... and if you don't or can't understand that, then I'm sorry. Butch Walker - My Way So you grew up in a town where everybody's all the same Like a city full of zombies going by the same name Saying eat this, wear that, think ya know just where it's at When every body's just alike, now tell me how you deal with that This much is true, so here's a finger let me say it There's the right way, then there's my way There's a highway, if you don't like it you can take it So just talk away, I don't hear a word you say I'll be my way, if you don't like it you can take it You got the ultimate song, but you're fuckin' up the words And you're fallin' from the bridge that goes straight into the verse They're saying do this, do that, tell ya how to wear your hat If everyone was just alike, I don't think I could deal with that This much is true, so can you hear me as I'm saying There's the right way, then there's my way There's a highway, if you don't like it you can take it So just talk away, I don't hear a word you say I'll be my way, if you don't like it you can take it I don't want to, be the one who Does everything like I'm told to I don't want to, be the one who Does everything like I'm told to There's the right way, then there's my way There's a highway, if you don't like it you can take it So just talk away, I don't hear a word you say Luke: Same as always. Han: That bad, huh? - Star Wars: Return of the Jedi I've tried to write this several times, but I always find that I'm leaving something out or I have to go back and explain something. All and all, it was pretty frustrating and I had pretty much given up. Well, as much as I give up on anything, I suppose. Then I remembered the advice of an old friend: "Start at the beginning and when you get to the end, stop." So, in the beginning, God created man... What? Too far? Fine, but let me tell you, I had some great stuff lined up for the crusades. This will also probably be my last post for awhile. If people want to check up on me, you can e-mail me. I won't bite, I swear. Thing is, I don't want this to turn into a Pity Party and I could see it perilously close to becoming just that, so I shall spare you that ordeal. My life is a soap opera. It's getting great ratings in Hell. This would be the season finale. Wednesday night, I went to see the premiere of Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones at the midnight showing. I had been planning to see this movie for the better part of a year, and even though I was in a lousy mood, all things considered, I was still going. If you want a movie review, you're barking up the wrong tree. Anyway, I got out the movie theater and ran into an old friend. Charlie and I talked about the movie and I went over to his place for a little while, just to unwind and talk more about the movie and whatnot. I had work the next morning, but I wasn't too concerned with that. I have been trying to make more time for my friends these days. While I was at Charlie's, I was in the middle of sentence when I dropped right to my ass. I had lost all semblance of balance. When I tried to speak, it came out as jibberish. What I was thinking in my head made sense, but I couldn't verbalize it. Charlie was pretty quick on the stick and started asking me questions like what was my name. I couldn't even get that out right. The big man, all 5'9" and 130lbs of him, picked me up and stuffed me into his car. He kept asking me things like what was my name, what movie did we just see, what was his name, what was my address... I couldn't tell him. This went on for about five minutes. By the time we got to the ER, I was fine. I was a little disoriented and had a headache, but I was still pretty much okay. Physically. The doctor explained what had happened... I had suffered a TIA. A TIA is basically a mini-stroke. It's a warning sign that a real stroke is coming. They usually occure in older people or people who have suffered strokes in the past. I had basically the same chance of experiencing a TIA as I did of dying in a plane crash. I knew I should have bought that lottery ticket. So, the doctor explained to me what had happened and said that because of my various health problems, the odds were not with me and there was a very good possibility that I'd have a real stroke before the end of the year. You know... I said before that there is only so far that a person can be pushed. In the last six weeks, I've lost my soulmate, I've lost my home, I've lost my uncle, I almost had to have my foot amputated and I've just had an expiration date stamped on my forehead. Man, all I need is to get a dog so it can get run over and my life is a country song. One Last Breath - Creed Please come now I think I'm falling I'm holding to all I think is safe It seems I found the road to nowhere And I'm trying to escape I yelled back when I heard thunder But I'm down to one last breath And with it let me say Let me say Hold me now I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking That maybe six feet Ain't so far down I'm looking down now that it's over Reflecting on all of my mistakes I thought I found the road to somewhere Somewhere in His grace I cried out heaven save me But I'm down to one last breath And with it let me say Let me say Hold me now I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking That maybe six feet Ain't so far down Sad eyes follow me But I still believe there's somthing left for me So please come stay with me 'Cause I still believe there's something left for you and me For you and me For you and me Hold me now I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking Hold me now I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking That maybe six feet Ain't so far down Please come now I think I'm falling I'm holding to all I think is safe Thing is, I'm not afraid of this. I'm not afraid of dying. I've had a theory about life, and death... God has a grand plan and we are all apart of it. There are certain things we have to accomplish on this Earth before we can get into Heaven. If we die before we accomplish those goals, we're sent back to live our lives over again and this continues until we get it right. It's the Super Mario Brothers vision of reincarnation. At this point, things have gotten so screwed up and I'm so far away from where I'm supposed to be, it seems that the only way to get back is to start over from the beginning. That is not a prospect that I fear. In fact, I've come to look forward to it. Of course, I tell my friends this and they try to snap me out of it. They tell me that I've got too much to live for. That cracks me up. I'm 24 going on 70, I'm alone and I've been told that I've got six months or less left to spend as a normal person. Yeah, guys... I've got a great life. It's a thrill. Honest. The truth of the matter is that I don't want this. Not anymore. I don't want what I have left. It hurts too much. I don't care what happens to me anymore. I worry about my friends and my family... I worry about what it will be like for them after whatever happens, happens. Quite frankly, I feel that I've been more of a burden these last few weeks than anything. But, I just can't find my way to leave. There are times that I could just toss my phone and computer out the nearest window and be done with it. Become a hermit, like I was before Nichole. It'd be easy. No connection to the world... you work, you eat, you sleep, you wake up and repeat. That doesn't sound so bad, really. I've come to believe that anything, would be better than this. And you know what the worst part is? I've got one person to pin this all on. There's one person who made my life into this living hell. There's one person who has ruined my life and made me crave an end to it. I see him everyday when I look in the mirror. Don't Give Up - Peter Gabriel & Kate Bush Peter: In this proud land we grew up strong We were wanted all along I was taught to fight, taught to win I never thought I could fail No fight left or so it seems I am a man whose dreams have all deserted I've changed my face, I've changed my name But no one wants you when you lose Kate: Don't give up 'Cos you have friends Don't give up You're not beaten yet Don't give up I know you can make it good Peter: Though I saw it all around Never thought I could be affected Thought that we'd be the last to go It is so strange the way things turn Drove the night toward my home The place that I was born, on the lakeside As daylight broke, I saw the earth The trees had burned down to the ground Kate: Don't give up You still have us Don't give up We don't need much of anything Don't give up 'Cause somewhere there's a place Where we belong Rest your head You worry too much It's going to be alright When times get rough You can fall back on us Don't give up Please don't give up Peter: Got to walk out of here I can't take anymore Going to stand on that bridge Keep my eyes down below Whatever may come And whatever may go That river's flowing That river's flowing Moved on to another town Tried hard to settle down For every job, so many men So many men no-one needs Kate: Don't give up 'Cause you have friends Don't give up You're not the only one Don't give up No reason to be ashamed Don't give up You still have us Don't give up now We're proud of who you are Don't give up You know it's never been easy Don't give up 'Cause I believe there's a place A place where we belong A funny thing happens when you realize that your time here is finite. You examine your life in all of its intricate details. You think about all that you've done wrong and wonder what you could do to change it. Then you have to think about what you want to do with the time you have left. When I told my friends about what had happened, I said that there's still a lot that I want to do before the fork gets stuck in me. I had had a lot of time to think about what Nichole had said before she left. The person she saw me as... that's not a person I want to be. I want to show her the person that I can be, if only for this last little while. But, I don't think I'll get the chance. All I can really say is that I tried. I know that I'm supposed to be the villian... I'm supposed to be the bad guy in black, the tyranical egomaniac. I'm sure there are people counting the days 'til I have a real stroke. I can't change that. And I can't say that I don't deserve it. I know I screwed up. I know that I have this coming. But, believe me when I say that I never wanted any of this. For all my faults and all my mistakes, I wanted nothing more than for us to be happy. The Best of Intentions - Travis Tritt I had big plans for our future Said I'd give you the whole world somehow I tried makin' good on that promise Thought I'd be so much further by now Never could build you a castle Even though you're the queen of my heart But I've had the best of intentions from the start Now some people think I'm a loser 'Cause I seldom get things right But you make me feel like a winner When you wrap me in your arms so tight Please tell me you will remember No matter how much I do wrong That I had the best of intentions all along I gave you a ring And I promised you things I always thought we'd do But my best-laid plans Slipped right through my hands To show my love for you And if you could read my heart Then you'd know without exception It was all with the best of intentions So here I am asking forgiveness And praying that you'll understand Don't think I take you for granted Girl, I know just how lucky I am Though you deserve so much better You won't find devotion more true 'Cause I've had the best of intentions Girl, I've had the best of intentions Yes, I've had the best of intentions loving you So, that's it. Not with a bang, not with a wimper... some could argue it's with a whine, but screw those people. Should the time come where I feel the need to share some massive event with the world, I will. Honestly, I don't have the ego to believe that much of anything I have to say is really worth the bandwidth I'm taking up. I just thought that this would be a fitting closure. Who Wants To Live Forever - Queen There's no time for us There's no place for us What is this thing that builds our dreams, yet slips away from us Who wants to live forever Who wants to live forever There's no chance for us It's all decided for us This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us Who wants to live forever Who wants to live forever Who dares to love forever When love must die But touch my tears with your lips Touch my world with your fingertips And we can have forever And we can love forever Forever is our today Who wants to live forever Who wants to live forever Forever is our today Who waits forever anyway? The End Seein' Red - Unwritten Law I'm seein red Don't think you'll have to see my face again Don't have much time for sympathy Cause it never happened to me You're feelin blue, now I think you bit off more than you could chew And now it's time to make a choice And all I wanna hear is your... So follow the leader down And swallow your pride And drown When there's no place left to go Baby, that's when you will know And foolish lies Well, can't you see? I try to compromise Cause what you say ain't always true And I can see the tears in your eyes And what you said now Can't stop the words from runnin' through my head And what I do to get through to you But you'd only do it again Oh, I'll confess I don't know what to make from all this mess Don't have much time for sympathy But it never happened to me You're feelin' down now I don't know where I'll be when you come along When now it's time to make a choice And all I wanna hear is your voice A month ago today, Nichole left me. Nothing has been the same since. I should have seen it coming. The couple of weeks leading to the disaster were horrible. Quite frankly, I couldn't stand living with me. I had been under a lot of pressure at work and as a result, I was impossible at home. The fact that we were moving out of the only home I had known for a quarter century was also weighing heavily on me. The house was shit... it needed new, well, everything, but it was my home. I had hoped to one day have enough money to repair all that was wrong with it, but through a series of bad decisions made by my family, we were losing the house and had to move in with my aunt who had just moved to Georgia from Florida. I was so angry about the fact we were losing the house, I refused to have anything to do with moving. I spent more time away from home than I did at the house anyway, so I wasn't in any mood to deal with packing and whatnot in my off time. Sounds childish, doesn't it? Well, that's because it bloody well was. I wasn't backing down though. I was committed to a course of action, when, in truth, I probably just should have been outright committed. The thing is, the move really wasn't even necessary in the first place. I could have put in some extra money and we could have kept the house. But, Nichole didn't like the house... there was too much wrong with it. So, rather than saving my home, I gave it up to move into a new place to make Nichole happy. Well, that was a brilliant plan on my part. The Friday before we were to move to the new house, I called Nichole just to see how things were. She told me that she was talking to her dad. I asked how he was doing and how things were. She says that she's going back to Fairbanks. Now I'm really afraid that something is wrong with her dad or her brother, but that's not it at all. She begins ranting about how she doesn't have a life and how she's miserable and it's all my fault. I'm speechless. And I'm pissed. And I'm out for blood. "Well," I say in a low voice, "if that's what you want to do, I'm not going to stop you. I deserve better than that." I think you can easily rank that in the ten stupidest things I've ever said in my life. Probably even the top five. And trust me, that is, indeed, a statement. It just got worse from there. I stayed on the phone for the rest of the afternoon and realized that, no, she wasn't screwing around. She was seriously going back to Fairbanks. I began to physically feel my heart break. I couldn't believe this was happening. I thought that maybe we could work things out when I saw her. That was another mistake. She was with my Uncle to pick me up from work. She was snappy, bitchy, hateful and impossible to talk to. Just like I had been for the last two weeks before this nightmare. I'll spare the ugly details of what happened, but suffice to say, we fought. Badly. Physically. I've got the scars to prove it, even a month later. The sad truth of the matter is that I deserved it. Everything... I had it coming. I fucked up. I should have known better... I should have paid more attention to her. She shouldn't have felt how she did, justified or not. I should have done more to make it better for her. And at the time, I had promised myself that once the move was over with and once everything was squared away at work, I would make it up to her. I had planned to take a few days off, check into a hotel somewhere and let it just be us. We needed to recharge our batteries... set things back right. I had assumed that I'd have the chance, but I assumed too much. You know, in the days after she left, I thought about the promises we had made to each other. She said that she'd never leave, no matter how bad things got. She said she'd always love me and she would never let me get hurt again. And I had promised her the same thing... we had both broken those promises. We hurt each other worse than you can imagine. You see, no matter how much you love someone, there is a point that you can't be pushed passed. I had pushed Nichole so far passed that point, it couldn't even be seen in the rear view mirror. By the time I realized that, it was too late. I didn't go to work for a week. I couldn't deal with people. I had tried to go in on Wednesday, but I could only stay for a couple of hours. It felt like the whole place was collapsing on me. I didn't feel safe. I just wanted to go back home. I wanted to go back to the way things were. I wanted to go back to Nichole and feel her arms around me again so I'd know that everything was going to be okay. I had to settle for going to a doctor's appointment. Mack: "My mother used to tell me, 'God knows the age of every tree, and the color of every flower, and He knows just how wide your shoulders are. And He'll never give you anything to carry, that's bigger than you can handle." Bo: "Then maybe that what this whole place is about. Maybe that's what you have to do to get by in a place like this." Mack: "What's that?" Bo: "Grow bigger shoulders." Babylon 5, "A View From The Gallery" The appointment had been made a week earlier. I had had an infection in my foot for about six months, but I didn't want to see a doctor about it. I figured it'd just get better on its own. (Definitely not one of my finer moments). The doctor checked me out and sent me to a specialist about the infection, but before that, I had to go through the usual blood pressure and blood sugar checks. My blood sugar was around four times normal and my blood pressure was in the neighborhood of 180/120. Well, yeah... that kinda thing happens when you stop taking your medication for a week. The Doc changed my prescriptions, tacked on something extra for the blood pressure and sent me on my merry way. The specialist took a look at my foot and freaked. She asked how long it had been like this and when I told her, she outright said that I was an idiot for waiting as long as I did. I had to have four shots of novacaine pumped in and the doctor promptly removed the nail from my foot where the infection was. As she was doing so, she said that I would have to have some tests and X-Rays to insure that the infection hadn't reached the bone. If it had, the only way to stop it from spreading further would be amputation. She said it so cooly and calmly that I had almost missed it. I was given a prescription for some high powered antibiotics and told to come back in a week for tests. I went back to the house and sat on the bed and cried until I couldn't do it anymore. I was scared shitless. All I could think was how badly I needed Nichole here... I was afraid that I wasn't going to be a whole person anymore. I went online that night and told my friends the news. I was starting to take a gallow's humor approach to things. It couldn't get any worse, right? In an odd sort of way, I was starting to feel a little better. Just being with my friends and talking to them helped. I went back to work the next week. My friends there were coming to check on me, patting me on the shoulder, even hugging me when I needed it. They just wanted me to be okay. I was starting to feel a little more human as the week went on. On Wednesday, I got a call from Uncle John. John was kinda like my guardian angel, hence the Uncle part. He looked out for me and went to some extreme lengths for me when I had been having girl problems in the past. He and his girlfriend had just moved to Seattle from Chicago about a month earlier when his job transfered him. I'll never forget his reaction when I told him what had been going on. "Hey, you want me to come down there? Or maybe you can hang out here for a few days. You need to see the new place anyway." I told him that I had missed too much work as it was, but soon, yes I'd come visit. Chicago - Ingram Hill If you ever want to come home from Chicago And leave the things that habit made you love I’ll be there to await your arrival To give you a life you’ll never know Streetlights blind my eyes through a shade that’s halfway pulled Cracklin’ right side interrupts the radio in my head Speeding through a familiar town I don’t know all too well I find a glimpse of you outside my home If you ever want to come home from Chicago And leave the things that habit made you love I’ll be there to await your arrival To give you a life you’ll never know Sometimes I get the feeling that I’m not the only one Somehow my silence speaks for itself As I stroll on down this street I pray for a chance I’ll see you there This time I think I’ll share my life with you If you ever want to come home from Chicago And leave the things that habit made you love I’ll be there to await your arrival To give you a life you’ll never know Sunday night, around 4am, my phone rings. I hope that it's Nichole, but it isn't. The voice isn't familiar at all and I'm thinking that it's a wrong number, but she knows my name. She introduces herself as John's girlfriend. There had been an accident on Saturday with a drunk driver... John had passed away. Just when I thought I was out of tears and I couldn't hurt anymore, God proves just how much He loves to screw with people when they're down. There wasn't a funeral... there was just a wake. I couldn't go, of course. I had been out of work too much. I didn't even tell the people at work. I didn't want to deal with it. The entire course of the month was beginning to resemble a prolonged nightmare and I was afraid of what was going to happen next. That day, I found out that I was going to be able to keep my foot and that the infection was finally starting to heal. I didn't care. If I thought that losing a part of myself... a literal pound of flesh would somehow make up for what happened, if it would atone for all I had fucked up, it would be worth it. The more I thought about it, the better shuffling off this mortal coil began to look. If this... this... is what I had to look forward to, I wanted no part of it. I couldn't see it getting any better. Marcus: Wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair and all the terrible things that happen to us, come because actually deserve them? So now I take comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the Universe. - Babylon 5, "A Late Delivery From Avalon" "It's a sad man, my friend who's living in his own skin But can't stand the company." - Bruce Springsteen, "Better Days" I asked for this. I'm getting everything I deserve. If I hadn't been so demanding, if I hadn't let the pressures of life get to me, Nichole would still be here. I should have told her that I loved her less and shown her more. I should have trusted her more than I did. There are so many things that I wish I had done differently. I've had to go to a doctor every week since she's been gone for one thing or another. I'm taking three different things for my blood pressure now, because the lowest it has been in a month is 160/100. This thing... it's slowly killing me by inches. But, let's look at what I've done... try to tell me I don't deserve it. You know what the sad part is? We could have such horrible fights, I wanted nothing more than to never see her again. That's how angry I would be... but, when we were at our best, no one could make us as happy as we could each other. I still love Nichole; with all my heart. She says she still loves me... I want to believe that. Some of my friends say that's she just playing me. I don't know what hurt worse: the fact that they're putting that thought in my head or that they may be right. I want to believe that there's still a chance for us. But, she won't talk to me now. I know she won't. I also know that, given the chance, I could prove to her that we can make things work. I don't know if I'll ever get it. Honestly, I probably won't... but that chance is all I've got to hold onto to get me through the night. Maybe It's Me - Ingram Hill On the radio this morning They played our song Thought about the good times And I wonder what went wrong Miscommunication? Or ‘cause you had no faith in me? Lack of inspiration? Or maybe, maybe it’s just me There’s life that surrounds me But still I cannot see I just can’t make my heart fall for beauty endlessly I don’t know what I’m feeling It’s not right, it can’t be I try to find someone to blame But maybe, maybe it’s just me Maybe you were right to find your way out of my life You found comfort elsewhere while I held on way too tight But I find no reason why I can’t be satisfied Perhaps ‘cause I can’t have you On the radio this morning They played our song Thought about the good times And I wonder what went wrong Miscommunication? Or ‘cause you had no faith in me? Lack of inspiration? Or maybe, maybe it’s just me Maybe you were right to find your way out of my life You found comfort elsewhere while I held on way too tight But I found the reason why I can’t be satisfied Perhaps ‘cause I can’t have you 
You're Spike. An English badass. At least you were until they put that stupid chip in your head. And then you fell in love with the slayer... Snap out of it, man! |
