May 8
So that girl Anna's Myspace profile made me feel like crap. Thought it wouldn't bother me at first but turns out I was overwhelmed and couldn't get it off my mind until I finally fell into an uneasy sleep.
Every time I'm outside I invent things like car crashes and shootings and bombs.. If I were thrown into the rapidly increasing Innocent Victim Pool of Injustice --
i.e. a bullet through pulmonary vein thus leaving me to bleed to death,
Or a bomb in a mall where the last words I'd've said would be "I'll save up and get it in the future" and I would go from the bookstore to several shops, the escalator and hanging by the walkways two floors down, All at the same time - as charred debris --
What would happen to every single thing I want to say and do, how long will it take for me to be completely forgotten, to what greatness will anyone be affected, would there be any significant change in the world, or even in a single person?
And when I'm not outside, I think of what I'd do if I were diagnosed with some fatal disease and had two months left to live, would I do and say everything I want to or will I still hold back? I think I would write 900 letters and mail them personally and then hide somewhere to watch for a reaction of the reader.
Or something, asfkladsg whatever I'm always full of bullshit.
May 10
IT RAINED TODAY (okay, fine, drizzled. But that still counts for something). What took you so long, you were supposed to be here a week ago!
Went over to some province today, to my mother's colleague/friend's house. They recently came back from Singapore and had brought home one of our boxes (long boring story) so we went to get it.
I don't think I'd be able to survive in a province. For one, there are way way way too many mosquitoes. And I just don't like the ambience. Bulacan was having some sort of fiesta thing and there were streamers everywhere - Plastic Bag Green and White. I was alone on the thought that it was hideous. My mother and sister were like, "Aww that's so pretty!" "Eh it's really ugly," I said. Mom said soemthing about creativity and resourcefulness. It was just a bunch of plastic tied to rope. I thought it was a humongous waste of money.
Jay has Beatle hair now and has won his war against acne. Susana has turned darker and has adapted the local provincial flair to her Tagalog. All of us were reminicing about Singapore. The lucky bastards actually got the chance to go back in the beginning of May (they were the two that were with us at the airport). Then Jay filled me in on what school was like here, though the conversation was cut short because it was running late.
The DaVinci Code movie might be banned here, the majority of the Philippine population being Catholic and all.
Government says it is a bad influence.
Yeah yeah, so why doesn't the Government stop themselves from watching other politically-incorrect movies, or movies that have dirty cops as characters, or corrupt politicians as characters, or power-hungry leaders as characters; so this place could BRIGHTEN UP A BIT.
My grandmother got one of those PLEASE-PASS-TO-OTHERS! text messages, saying that we should pray for the priests here because they are against the ban of the movie. She read the message out loud and I was quick to state my antagonism towards the ban. Then she shot me a You-Better-Take-Back-What-You-Said Look. Obviously, stubborn as I am, I didn't.
The movie isn't a temptation. That's stupid. It all boils down to the responsibility of the viewer. It's not a case of "people are not responsible enough," because then what? We're going to be sheilded from every single 'temptation' and live in some kind of alternate reality? If that's the plan, they can start by getting rid of all the nonsensical noontime/afternoon/whatever variety shows that really, really don't do anything except teach 6-year-old girls how to dance like a prostitute.
6-year-old girls. So much for a bright future, no?
And while I'm on that, the Sexbomb girls you call a "singing group" can pack up their bags and get a real job as well, because those dances have most unfortunately spread to the Filipino community OUTSIDE of the country, and that's just atrocious. I was not kidding when I said a 6-year-old girl can do striptease.
Anyway, back to the movie. If Catholics here are really true to their faith and responsible about it, the movie will be nothing more than fictious entertainment. Responsible also are those who refuse to watch it because of their religious instability.
A person can watch it without believing it, surely? Specially in this country, where FANTASY and MAGIC are the hardcore "drama" series. I mean, really, wasting all that money on ridiculous costumes, props and cheap effects? Use that money constructively and enroll your writers in a Creative Writing workshop. Or subscription to Writer's Digest. And produce REAL shows.
May 11
So today was Buy School Supplies day.
And MAN, I don't think I've ever been grateful to Singapore's school-notebook policy until now. Observe:
CVE III
- Journal Notebook
- Spiral Notebook
Social Studies III
- Spiral Notebook (6 x 8 1/2)
- Yelllow pad paper
- 1/2 crosswise intermediate pad
- 1/4 Quiz pad
- 1 index card
Mathematics III
- Math Notebook (7 x 10, 100 leaves)
Trigonometry
- Math Notebook (7 x 10, 100 leaves)
English III
- Thick notebook (6 x 8 1/2)
- Spiral notebook (6 x 8 1/2, 50 leaves)
- Cattleya Fillers (6 x 8 1/2) [these are actually notebook pages.]
- Index cards (5 x 8, 100pcs)
- Intermediate pad
Practical Arts III - Program Logic Formulation / Turbo C
- Notebook w/plastic cover (regular size, 100 leaves) [what exactly is regular?!]
- Intermediate pad
- 1/2 Crosswise Intermediate pad
- Index card (5 x 8, 5pcs)
Practical Arts III - Marketing and Management
- Notebook w/plastic cover (regular size, 100 leaves)
- 1 pc Filler ONLY [sure, great, that's convenient.]
- Index card (5 x 8, 1pc)
Filipino III
- Spiral Notebook
- Yellow pad paper
Scitech III
- Spiral notebook (7 x 10, 100 leaves)
- Yellow pad paper, 100 leaves
- Index cards (5 x 8, 4pcs)
AND that's just the paper part. No wonder there are like, 3259023 shelves of various notebooks in National Bookstore (the Philippines' Popular Bookstore). As for the paper pads.. well I was surprised they even existed. It was incessantly stocked, in fact. Because I thought the supplies list was bullshitting me. I spent over an hour getting this whole thing settled and into the shopper's basket.
Intermediate pads are like the regular notepads. Foolscap paper. Whatever you call it. Then there's the 1/2 crosswise intermediate pad - Which is the exact same thing, except they chopped it in half. Then there's the 1/4 quiz pad - Which is, again, the EXACT same thing, except they chop it into quarters this time. There's the 1/2 lengthwise intermediate pad as well - which is an intermediate pad folded into half down its length. But I don't need that one.
And the paper isn't that great quality either. Nothing like the .50 (?) Popular or Azone Save The Earth pads over in Singapore.
So unnecessary, yet here they are, sitting inside a plastic bag in my room. I'm not an idiot of course, I only bought one of each of those stupid pads, I can't possibly use up a whole pad completely for one subject. Well, unless they have pop quizzes every 15 minutes, but hopefully that won't be the case.
Realized that it won't be So boring if get stuck in Canada for my mother's next assignment, provided that we stay in Montreal where I can pick up some French and - I JUST remembered - be in the same city as the Cirque du Soleil headquarters. YAY.
May 12
I woke up to gray London skies, the sound of rain beating down the roof and the touch of cold breeze on my leg.
It was beautiful.
Seriously, this is a fantastic Weather Moodswing.
Went down to school today to get textbooks and uniform. Here's another ridiculous fact:
Some schools change their uniforms when they feel that it isn't selling enough and they're not getting money. Because, you know, hand-me-downs? If anything, it's the next level after Extreme Kiasuism. So they change the uniforms so every single student has to fork out money to but new sets.
I know, I know. What the fuck, right?
Well on the plus-side, I was not victim to this and most fortunately the new skirt looks much better than the old. The checkered pattern looks better. When I get the full uniform (blouses aren't out yet) I'll show you.
On the minus(?!)-side the skirt is still bloody long, it goes all the way below my calves.
And no trainers here, I have to wear proper black courtshoe-like things.
And I might have to learn how to write in cursive, which I have no patience for.
And I have to back-subject. I'm required to take up Social Studies 1 (meaning secondary 1) because I missed it.
And school starts 3 Fridays and and 2 days from now.
May 13
Once again I was stuck at a 7-year-old's birthday party. I have too many baby cousins, 3/4 of whom I do not know the names of, and 2 of which I can actually stand.
I watched as the birthday celebrant was Out just 3 minutes into a game of Musical Chairs. The bigger kid had pushed him out of the way and he hit the floor. Even through small, single-eyelid eyes, his humiliation, terror and outrage was evident - dancing around in the malicious sparkle of tears welling up. It was His day, his Batman-themed party, he should be the one sitting on that chair, he Couldn't be pushed around! He grits his teeth. His father grabs him before he loses it and the boy breaks down in his daddy's arms, and doesn't stop until 10 minutes later, when he decides to join the next game.
The next game doesn't do him justice either - the winner is the one who can hold "aaaaaaaaaaac" in "Happy Birthday to Isaac" and his (well he says "to meeeeeeee" since he's the celebrant) 16 seconds obviously did not top her sister's 27. He bites his lip and his forehead starts to crease. The gamemaster (dressed fucking ridiculously in a Superman costume) is quick to react and asks if he wants to try again. Isaac nods his head vigurously, clocks in at 25 seconds (with the help of gamemasters counting a little faster) and settles - with a pout - for second place.
This is what I call the Spoiled Child Syndrome. Maybe more identified with the mindset "give me what I want and I won't turn into a freaking siren blare." Common and can be witnessed at any kid's birthday party. Ada and I made fun of the gamemaster's accent ( "still haven't guessed? It is a picture prem!" , "please refeat what you said!"). Finally got to see my uncle's apartment which was fucking gorgeous, it was tiny but still. It looked like one of those 'living spaces' you can find in Ikea, no joke. And one of the walls was complete MIRROR which is brilliant and also what I've wanted for my, er, future studio apartment, if I'll actually get there.
Went to the mall. Got school shoes. Found back issue of Practical Photography, and back issues are always cheap and it was on sale for god knows what reason, so there was no trouble in getting my father to want to get it. Sheesh it was less than SG, it was impossible that he didn't want it because he usually spent on them in Singapore.
And then, hahaha Writer's Digest! I found it! On the shelf and not in a computer screen! June 2005 but I got it anyway. Another reason why I cannot become a novelist is Mark Winegardner and The Godfather Returns, hot dang the man did a hell lot of work to get that book together, aside from actually writing it. And that is something I am not capable of.
So this June 2005 issue of Writer's Digest settles it. I'm going to write for a magazine. Problem is it'll 99% take Quite a while to actually get that job so darn it I have to think of something else to do.
Oh and PP really is the best photography magazine as far as I know, and now it has regular instalments of Essential Photoshop Skills, which makes it even better. You don't even have to be keen in photography to enjoy it, the articles are great and the photographs are, well, damn even though I've looked at them 9325701 times my jaw still drops. Incompetence may and most probably overwhlem you but if you're willing to learn, then suck it all up.
On my way out I spotted this guy staring at me and at first glance looked a LOT like Sam. And just yesterday it was Si Jing! Maybe I'm seeing things. The feeling of thinking you saw a friend and then actually it isn't because obviously it's impossible because they are miles and miles away and that fact slaps you... that feeling is major, major suckfest.
May 14
Fuck it stopped raining!
Updated Monday, May 15, 2006, 11:21 p.m..
Say hello comment piss moan rave or whatever.
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