April 30
If my sister still reads this:
Stop it, for god's sake. I know the Internet is the last thing that could be private but this isn't much a matter of privacy as it is courtesy. It's already enough that I have spent my whole 15 years and 11 months sharing a bloody room with you. For your fucking information, I do not read your blog, except the time I saw it was when you begged me to fix your stupid Jay Chou layout.
If you simply cannot stop, then DON'T interrogate me about what I write, and don't laugh after you say "HA I READ YOUR BLOG LAST NIGHT YOU KNOW" like I'm some sort of fool and Really, you don't have to scream it right in front of the parents. Seriously. Read, and shut up. I am not the kind of person who bonds and has an extreme extreme emotional attachment to family members.
May 1
One of the (few) good things about living here is that my grandfather has had a subscription to Reader's Digest starting from one of the first issues.
The May issue came in the mail today. The cover boasts how they have solved Life's 25 Toughest Questions. The one I mentioned in an older entry.
1. Can love really last a lifetime?
Absolutely - but only if you chuck the fairy tale of living happily ever after. A team of scientists recently found that romantic love involves chemical changes in the brain that last 12 to 18 months. After that, you and your partner are on your own. Relationships require maintenance. Pay a visit to a nursing home if you want to see proof of lasting love. Recently I spoke to a man whose wife of 60 years was suffering from advanced Alzheimer's disease. He came to sit with her every day and hold her hand. "She's been my best friend since high school," he told me. "We made a promise to stick together." Now, that's a love story.
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I have to say that answer wasn't what I expected. I was expecting a whole essay, because the question was so generalized. But as usual, this Love they talked about was one between 'partners'. Lasting love doesn't exist only in a romantic relationship.
Maybe it's because I've never involved with anyone romantically, but it shouldn't make much difference, should it? The only difference between your closest friend and a lover is the physical relationship with the lover. Oh, and that extremely complicated thing called commitment. I don't know, I could be wrong. I most probably am. But anyway.
I used to think I was missing out on so much, never being in such a relationship, but then I realized it isn't important. In fact I think its absence made sure I kept my friends close.
My parents have told me over and over again how my priorities are always wrong, and that I first-priority my friends too much. "Please," I think, "that's like saying I first-priority YOU TWO too much."
I never say it out because I always get choked up trying to explain (sheesh, I'm even getting all choked up right now), and it is impossible to get points across to parents because of the two forces going against each other - they're convinced they know me best, and I'm convinced they know me the least.
And how can they say I "first-priority my friends too much," is that wrong? Isn't that supposed to be good? Really, I'm not even the one who reads the bible and
I know that. They should be proud of me for that.
Hear hear, jealousy!
The love in friendship is the one thing in the world that lasts. So I don't see what's wrong with me making it the thing that matters most.
They will probably never understand because they have each other. Something I, in turn, won't understand because I don't plan to get married. Not because I don't believe that love can last forever, but because I think that love shouldn't be limited to one person.
No, I don't mean I want to sleep around. 'Love' in that context is not synonymous to 'romance'.
Going back to Reader's Digest's answer.. it isn't wrong, but it probably would have been better if they changed the example, and made it more general and not just the kind in a marriage.
Or, changed the question, because of course the love lasts, it's the little rules that destroy the marriage, right? As friends, two people could get into a huge arguement and then make up - no big complication there. But when you're married to someone and you have a huge arguement, then that's a big, big problem. Which is odd because I think it's completely fine for a person to get a little sick of the other for a little while.. everyone needs space.
This took me so long to write out because I kept branching out to other things. This whole subject is difficult to explain, and will probably just turn more complicated because I still have so much to do ahead of me. So none of this is justified, it's just.. well I don't know. Thoughts.
The very bottomline of this is when it's real love, it's forever. It doesn't have to be returned, or equalled, it doesn't have an age restriction, or an expiry date. It's just there, and it exists and it never goes away.
It's simple, but the problem is sometimes people don't know how to identify it, or even worse mistake it for another feeling.
May 2
A sore throat, will soon develop into a cold and cough. In the middle of SUMMER.
Really. Sheesh.
So on Sunday I was finally able to download the song Geek in the Pink from the email Eshita sent, I asked her to send it to me like a month ago but the internet connection (which is as all of you know, slow. I won't make a comparison this time *sniggers*) wouldn't let me download it. The song's so amazingly catchy I was dance-walking for 3 hours in the mall on Sunday.
It was probably also because I haven't heard a new song in Such a long time. If anybody is a darling enough to bother, you can send your presumeably awesome music
here. It's rather difficult for me to be music-deprived, so I'd really appreciate it.
Y
My father's starting work on May 15, which is bad because the house is going to be much quieter and so much more boring. Plus he's doing the graveyard shift and that means we're going to be stuck with mother during the night, who is usually untolerable without Dad around.
But on a lighter note in this dreadful song, I think we're getting broadband soon because there are now two breadwinners under the roof.
I don't think I'll be able to talk to anyone though, except through email. Like I said before, I've been away from IMing for so long that I've forgotten how to keep up a conversation. Which is why writing letters/email is so great, it's where awkward silences are non-existent. And I don't say anything completely stupid for the sake of eliminating the length of that silence. I'll have to adjust slowly.
My cousins just left, they stayed over for a couple of nights. It was fun having them around for the first few hours but after the first night the novelty just wears off and it is incredibly boring.
May 3
19. Does money really buy happiness?
No. Because happiness isn't for sale. Many people get tripped up by this one, amassing wealth only to find themselves cycling into a bottomless pit of unsatisfiable yearning. Turns out, joy and misery are not that far apart when it comes to very big wads of cash. Consider the case of a Kentucky couple who won $34 million in 2000. Thrilled to be released from the demands of their boring old jobs, they frittered their fortune away on fancy cars, mansions, all the usual stuff - losing everything that mattered in the process. They divorced, he died of an alcohol-related illness, and she died alone in her new house just five years after cashing the winning ticket. When it comes to happiness, only people you love, and who love you, can bring it. If you have enough dough to buy yourself a luxurious yacht, but no real friends to sail with, you're sunk.
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HA! To all the suckers out there who think swimming in cash is the best thing that could ever happen to them.
May 5
Spending the night at my cousins' place wasn't that awesome because it triggered my sore throat to worsen. I woke up in the morning with a full-fledged cold and cough. It wasn't because it was cold either, ironically it was (and still is) too, too hot.
Having access to broadband internet wasn't that awesome either because Radiant is down, and stupid BearShare didn't have the songs I wanted to download.
Today I had to impersonate my grandmother for a little comic skit my cousins and I put up. Which was okay, we had fun and I got a handful of compliments for the "performance". *glows*
It's her birthday tomorrow and celebrations started on the 4th and will last till the 7th. (read: a Lot of food.) There are so many different groups of people who want to celebrate, you see, and all can't be crammed into one day.
So this party had a gypsy theme and that was less than desirable. Made me feel fat. But the insane amount of jewelry was fun to wear.
May 8
I finally found the newspaper article about Bill Gates.
If you're still not convinced, take it from the richest man in the world himself:
I wish I wasn't. There is nothing good that comes out of that.
And the most depressing part:
Asked if he surrounded himself with financial peers, he quipped,
No, I sit alone.
I would say more, but who else can explain it better than Mr. Gates? It is true, it's lonely on top. I feel so sad for him. This shows that success isn't the most important thing in life. If I ever meet him I'll buy him ice cream and be a real friend for a while.
So I passed my entrance exam. The odd thing is I didn't feel like a heavy load had been lifted when my mom told me that I passed. Oh well, whatever. According to my cousin, school starts the first Monday of June. Which is the 5th.
If school work is as easy as the entrance exam then HELLO honor roll.
Updated Monday, May 8, 2006, 11:33 p.m..
Say hello comment piss moan rave or whatever.
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