Entry 100: The End.
Yeah, yeah, I know I'm not up to 100, but it seems so much more dramatic and final, you know? The whole "round" number thing. It sounds impressive. You notice that no one ever predicts that the world is going to end in a year ending with three or seven? 0's are impressive.

This is the last entry guys. You can all feel free to browse the several dozen others by clicking on that archives link up there, even though the formating and links are going to be all screwy. It took me about a half a year to get the page the way I wanted it, and the past entries are a trail of failures because of that. It's been fun though, hasn't it?

We started selling lighters my last few days at work--really cheap lighter keychains that look like cell phones belonging to Judy. Who is Judy you ask? I've got no idea, but every single one of the cheap-ass little things had her name on their displays. The concept is pretty cool--you press down the antenna and a flame pops out of the earpiece. If burning something isn't fun enough, it's also a pocket knife, so you can stab at whatever the item in question may be. The major problem is that the trigger is located roughly a centimeter from the flame, so no matter how careful you are with the damn things, you end up scalding off the tip of your thumb, and dropping the knife on your toe or whatnot. It's especially dangerous when we turn the flame height on all of them up to the point where even your eyebrows are in jeopardy. After five minutes or so of sealing random items in heat shrink, we had drained the fuel on at least half a dozen of the suckers. My guess is that too much money was spent on surveying the public as to which name they would least be offended by on their keychain, and not enough into making a product that's NOT likely to be a probable cause of death. Why not "Sue's Phone?" or just "Phone?" Why is the damn thing modeled after a cell phone anyway??

I'll let my last topic be one of a positive nature, to kind of offset everything else this page revolves around. Some old dude gave me twenty bucks the other day for doing absolutely nothing. He came in with a cell phone that he wanted to switch his Alltel account to, and five minutes later I had finished. "Geeze you kids are smart these days, did you learn that in college?"

"I haven't gone to college yet sir," I replied, wondering which part of the dialing a phone number, and pressing buttons on the phone operation had impressed him most.

"So you're going soon huh? You'll need this..."

My general rule of thumb is to turn down tips twice before accepting them--a belief spawned by mixed feelings. Sure, we get paid for doing that kind of a thing, but we commissionless souls put up with so much for minimum wage. So basically it goes like, "Oh, thank you anyway sir, but I get paid for this... No, really, I can't... *blinks* A TWENTY???!!!"

That old guy was the first nice customer I remember helping in quite a long while. If there were more people like him in this world, that actually appreciate services rendered them, and have an overall kindly attitude, there wouldn't be a need for pages like this. Unfortunately, obviously, this page is still here.