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i burn, i pine, i perish
If anybody out there has X TV episode 16 in Realplayer... *big puppy eyes* IM me with it? Please? Please please?
(Dammit, screencaps just don't CUT it...)
and so i rose with dripping wings Sunday, March 24, 2002
here's the mirror; behind there is a screen
music: "gravity of love", enigma; "everything you want", vertical horizon
can't wait for: the cherry blossom festival
pissed off at the academy for: not nominating "memento" for best picture
For some reason, when I take something to help me sleep I don't dream at all--sleep becomes a self-induced coma, a well of not-being. I didn't take the medicine last night, and I dreamed again for the first time in days.
Oddly enough, I dreamed that I had a daughter.
I don't know how I got her. I don't know who the father was and I had no memory of giving birth (pregnancy, yes, but the actual labour, no). She was very pretty, having inherited the blue eyes I'm so proud of myself, and very sharp--talking excitedly and reading short words at the age of about two. And somehow, I managed to find a beautiful little house in a beautiful little neighbourhood, surrounded by trees and moss and soft flowers, and I moved in with my sempai and my friend April and my daughter. I was going to finish school while the three of us raised her, and the more people we could convince to come and help be "honourary mommies" and creative helpmeets, the better. It was as if we had an artistic studio going in that house, where one of the projects was to help this beautiful child grow up.
Oddly enough, despite the overwhelming love and comfort I felt in my dream, I'm still convinced I don't ever want to have kids. Go figure.
...and on a completely unrelated note, why does HTML never behave the way I want it to? *rolls up her sleeves and wades in with a whacky stick*
and so i rose with dripping wings Sunday, March 24, 2002
in the mean time, in between time...
music: embarrassing american pop
muse i'm trying to wrestle into submission: piper (original character)
would like to rip a new one to: joss wheedon
...yes, I am weird. Why do you ask?
I think the stuff I'm taking to help me sleep works a little too well--my nightmares are gone, but I always feel dead for about two hours after I get up. "*snrk* Mph... sleep good... need more *zzz*" Yeesh.
Mmmm, pizza and anime at Bridget's tonight. (She gave me volume one of the Angelic Layer manga for my birthday! Angelic Layer is the best fucking CLAMP series ever! YAY!) While I'm there, I'll attempt to do a couple more sketches and maybe get a few plot kinks for "Tabula Rasa" (aka The X Fanfic Idea That Would Not Die) worked out... unless the urge to write Fruits Basket fanfic about Ayame and Shigure eats my head and makes me laugh like a mental patient.
You know, it's funny--I just don't write fanfic anymore unless I have an idea which in my mind is utterly fantastic. Maybe because the fandoms I've belonged to in the past have been so utterly discouraging and disheartening, or maybe because my original characters are louder than they used to be. Sure, I RP a lot over IM for multiple fandoms, but... fic itself is a committment I just don't think I want to make anymore, with the exception of "Tabula Rasa". Or Fruits Basket fic, because I think there really is interesting stuff to be done with that, and SOMEBODY has to write comedy before angst takes over the fandom.
(Oh, and for those of you who don't know: Fruits Basket = Chinese Zodiac crack, illustrated by the love child of the Utena anime series and CLAMP.)
Um, and to the writers of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV series:
Roiling angst storms are only okay when they're balanced out by comedy. Enough with the unending train of misery, you fuckers.
and now for the funniest thing Lisa said last night during Escaflowne:
"Folken, what higher power would want to grant wishes to a guy with a blue mullet??"
and so i rose with dripping wings Saturday, March 23, 2002
...to me, it's music in the air
(edited when I realised I still had stuff to say...)
chat: renfield
music: "kang ta's day out", emily hill
current obsession: pocket cd-rs!!
Good holy jeez, it's cold outside. And windy.
But! I went to Electronics Boutique today and picked up a bunch of pocket CD-Rs. These are going to be utterly perfect--they hold 185 MB/21 audio minutes, and since I'm hoping for happy fun Macintosh-compatible DJing program for my birthday, they'll be great if I manage to make demos...
"Why, funny you should mention that you like techno... *whips out a mini-CD-R like a business card*"
Okay, maybe not, but.
My artistic drive really has gunned itself into a massive kick forward, lately. I'm wrangling Photoshop, playing with my drawing style, learning actual honest-to-god HTML and collecting sound samples for the day when I get enough money together for GrooveMaker.
Plus my acting impulses have fired up again--the friends who have known me for a long time know that I've long wanted to start up an all-girl cross-dressing boy band. Well, that just might happen: Otakon 2002 is approaching (albeit slowly), and plans are somehow, miraculously, under way. Remember the name Random Gears And Feathers--although after you've seen us, you'll never forget it. ^____~
(And, by the way, totally random: If anybody finds or has an mp3 of the French version of Jack's song from "The Nightmare Before Christmas," tell meeeeee!!!)
and so i rose with dripping wings Friday, March 22, 2002
close your eyes, it is so clear
chat:stacy, renfield, and april
literature: still "watch your mouth"
music: "gravity of love", enigma
Wow. I'm going to dream in HTML. Not like my dreams aren't already weird enough...
My mom: *sees me come downstairs* Sleep well, dear?
Me: *in a wild panic* o.O Tell me we didn't invade Canada! Tell me J.K. Rowling is still alive!!
...yes, my dreams (well, nightmares) involved a conspiracy--headed by President Bush--to invade Canada and blow up numerous brilliant children's authors during a book conference.
No, really. J.K. Rowling was targeted, and Lemony Snicket, and I think Gail Carson Levine... more of that "books about magic and hardships make kids violent satanists" crap that ignorant parents have been throwing at libraries since the invention of the written word.
This dream was not only weird but vividly real--so real that I dreamed it twice; the first time I dreamed I was listening to the radio and heard the report of Rowling's murder (by suspected terrorist bomb), and my breath caught so hard I woke up. And then the dream resumed when I went back to sleep...
I'm seriously considering sleep aids. Though coding tables for HOURS does help one take one's mind off of that stuff...
and so i rose with dripping wings Friday, March 22, 2002
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