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love and death
Saturday, July 3, 2004. 08:50 p.m.
two nights ago i had one of those recurring dreams. a recurring nightmare, to be exact. in this nightmare, and it's really scary cauz like i could portend the near future and i was asking all those people i loved to take care and i was very hesitant in parting ways, which i eventually did. then this hugh ass piece of alien thing fell from the sky right smack in the middle of downtown. chaos and confusion ensued; everyone was running and screaming and then these small alien lynx creatures started appearing everywhere and these vicious motherfuckers were like just hopping around killing people like in a really gory fashion (fuck man i think it's because of undying). at the same time, i don't know how, i was in this cafe like ordering stuff when this lynx came crashing in the window and started chomping down one of the customers and like everyone was shocked and stuff. so this whole dream, of which i can only remember snippets, revolves around me and some others in a madcap chase around town (with us being chased) and like all the people i loved were just missing in action and it was quite sickening. i can't remember what happened but i know i somehow survived. and i woke up with a start. very strange. and if after two days i can still remember the geist of the dream, it really shows just how much it affected me. i don't know what to think. what do dreams mean? what does this dream mean? does it portend a certain future like my character did? or is it just a vivid fantasy of a crazy subconscious? if any message i could extract from the dream, it is to love your loved ones and let them know it; you never know when they might just die or disappear..
blackout
Friday, July 2, 2004. 03:36 p.m.
apparently, there was a blackout recently islandwide. something that affected the lives of many people, but somehow i can't seem to recall being in the midst of it. it's all very strange. perhaps my locality wasn't afflicted, perhaps i was fast asleep. whichever, i know i missed out on something. something big. argh. but that's ok. i've too much disaster on my hands to contend with a blackout. a tornado.. namely me. damn it boy, you gotta do something! right. after i take a nap. i'm sapped, i'm drained. (yeah right this room ain't never gonna be clean!)
stuff
Thursday, July 1, 2004. 02:04 a.m.
just got back from liquid room. slinky was churning out some techno/trance stuff. it was jammed pack, hot and there wasn't any space. at all. but surprise, of all people i expected not to be there, i met snowdon. snowdon ern siregar. back from nz for a couple of weeks and i see him at liquid room. will do lunch with him tomorrow. hayden was there too. this australian guy who haunts the hallowed halls of hard kandy, home of the melbourne shuffle.
christoph will be flying in from france this morning; the gang will be picking him up (or maybe just joel & jaime) but i won't be because i've got art & design at eight. gotta see what's he like cauz maybe he'll be putting up at my place for a bit while he's in singapore. until then, then. speaking of which, i gotta somehow drag gavin's white arse back here from sc. wonder what's he doing now anyway.
tired. chilling to semisonic's secret smile. i've got classes in 6 hours and i haven't slept. i just got a haircut recently but ron's hairstylist. it's quite crazy and not really what i wanted. but what DO i want? argh. call me icdan. identity crisis dan. well i've had 3 days of school so far, after a very (i mean VERY) long break. it's fun; i like it. especially the story telling class (my lecturer cracks up like rabid hyena) and starting a business (cause there's people there who i can ACTUALLY hold a decent conversation with. and don't look too bad, either).
and kev, if you're reading this: i still can't do all the accent stuff. help heLP HELP!
song playing now: u2 - staring at the sun
simplicity
Sunday, June 27, 2004. 04:27 a.m.
xpress2 mowed the house down over in zouk tonight. but we weren't exactly there enjoying it. we were over in phuture cauz it was really empty and there we could do all the locking, popping, gliding, liquid, proyo-ing, imagi-basketballing, shuffling, whatever we wanted to do.
too bad ron had to fork out 15 bucks for early entry cauz they heard that members couldn't sign (but later realised otherwise). so yeah.
finally got my printer to work. it's attached to my desktop and i was trying to get it to work through network to my laptop and after a frenzy of hair-pulling and wall-beating, i figured out the simplest solution: attach the printer to my notebook. smart ah? *whacks myself on head* so i shifted it from it's little hiding spot under my desk to next to my notebook. and i think it was a good idea cauz now i finally have something on that little spot that nothing ever sits on! yay.
school's gonna start in 2 days. funny how it's shifted to the last week of june instead of in july proper huh. well, get this: the semester will start as early as april come 2006. i guess, as joel says, it is to accomodate the release of the o level results and army enlistment so like you just zoom from on to the other without lag time you know. lucky them. i wasted so much of my time. sigh. so anyway i'm happy to go back school. the modules i'm taking seems good enough to get off to. erm. i mean the excitement. well don't scoff it's my kinda thing.
song playing now: boards of canada - happy cycling
fuck you
Wednesday, June 23, 2004. 11:56 p.m.
i'm tired. i didn't have fun today. well, i did, sort of. but it isn't a happy day. everything just fucked up from the start to the end. and i'm having evil thoughts and i need to get them out my head. argh. fucked. FUCKED. fuck this shit. i've got school tomorrow and i don't want to go but i gotta. fuck you.
burnin' down the house
Wednesday, June 23, 2004. 10:19 a.m.
what am i waiting for. we're supposed to be meeting at harbourfront mac's in 10mins. ron just woke up *thank god* and i can't get espen on the phone. wait.. jaime is calling me. ok plans settled. hope those sleeping beauties wake up. and i just took a shit and its burnin' like crazy
hell
Tuesday, June 22, 2004. 11:47 p.m.
today, i went to hell. i'm all flared up and practically traumatised.
armed with tissue, water and tea. rearing and ready to go. time slowed to a crawl as i planned my route of advance.
there were the geyser hell, blood pond hell, white pond hell, seafood hell, demon hill hell, etc. i couldn't back out and we (espen, melvin & me) had a wager going on so we had to stick to it to the fiery end. i chose to die by cook pot hell, maximum hellishness, no less.
so ate, we did, we silly clowns. at the same time, all the planning i did fled out my arse like wriggly bradwursts scrambling to the nearest exit. i have NEVER eaten anything quite as spicy as that. the soup was practically 95% fucking concentrated chili and 5% chili soup. the noodles tasted like chili. the beef, chili. the vegetables? same. holey moley - what the hell? so fat-lipped melvin won. he even added chili powder too. me and espen came in a sick second, with the last minute seeing both of us swallowing the fucking soup like dying men gasping for air. i was sweating from every pore of my body, my mind was blank, my stomach was churning like some machinery on the brink of dysfunction and i was tingly and cold all over, and almost high. but i learnt something new. NEVER EVER DRINK ICED WATER WHEN EATING CHILLIES - it's the perfect catalyst for the explosive formula. ouch. course our stomachs protested and we had a hard time convincing them to, you know, chill.
i have never had such a unenjoyable time eating ever, but i'm proud to say i've been to hell and back. *whew* but poor melvin. his stomach couldn't quite keep up with his mouth. must've been the chili powder, i reckon. *snigger*
tomorrow we go sentosa. i hope my stomach's settling. argh spoke too soon. GOOD GOD MY FART'S BURNIN'! gotta go!
song playing now: rue de soleil - in my heart
words that should've made the dictionary
Monday, June 21, 2004. 09:41 p.m.
Anananany (an a na' na nee) n. The inability to stop spelling the world 'banana' once you've started.
Barbalysis (bar ba' lih sis) n. Condition that arises from having to keep your head motionless while getting a haircut.
Carperpetuation (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of cotton at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
Disconfect (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the sweet you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will 'remove' all the germs.
Eufirstics (yew fur' stiks) n. Two people waiting on the phone for the other to hang up first.
Fetchplex (fech' pleks) n. State of momentary confusion in a dog whose owner has faked throwing the ball and palmed it behind his back.
Garmites (gar' mitz) n. Those items of clothing that fit perfectly in the store, but somehow shrink on the way home.
Hystioblogination (his' te o blog in ay' shun) n. The act of trying to identify a gift by holding it to your ear and shaking the parcel.
Irant (eye' rant) n. A seamless pistachio nut; a pistachio nut afraid to come out in public.
Jukejitters (jook' jit erz) n. Fear that everyone thinks you picked the awful tune emanating form the jukebox when it was actually the person before you.
Krogling (kroh' gling) n. The nibbling of small items of fruit and product at the supermarket, which the customer considers 'free sampling' and the owner considers 'shoplifting'.
Lexplexed (leks' plekst) adj. Unable to find the correct spelling for a word in the dictionary because you don't know how to spell it.
Marp (marp) n. The impossible-to-find beginning of a roll of sticky tape.
Nocturnuggets (nok' ter nuh gitz) n. Deposits found in one's eye upon awakening in the morning, also called: GOZZAGAREENA, OPTIGOOK, EYEHOCKEY, etc.
Oopzama (ewp' za muh) n. Sudden scratching of scalp or face upon realization that the person you were waving at isn't who you thought it was.
Pigslice (pig' slys) n. The last unclaimed piece of pizza that everyone is secretly dying for.
Rovalert (ro' val urt) n. The system whereby one dog can quickly establish an entire neighbourhood network of barking.
Snargle (snar' gul) v. To lessen the visual impact of a horror movie by filtering it through one's fingers. (this is for you, ron!)
Teloustic (tel oo' stik) adj. The tendency for people to shout into the phone when calling long distance.
Unfare (un fayr') n. The money you owe the taxi driver before you've even moved a foot.
Zippijig (zih' pih jig) n. The dance one performs whenever a rubber band is pointed at them.
there's more of these crap in 'Sniglets' by Rich Hall & Friends. Hope you enjoyed it. I know i did.
crying and undying
Monday, June 21, 2004. 04:45 a.m.
i got the feeling like i'm all the way down there totally icky and disgusting. i'm broke today. couldn't get money because wasn't home and i drew my account dry. i had to THINK when getting dinner, that's how bad it was. goddamnit and i had to borrow money too, which just blew it. i wouldn't, but then i'd be stuck at tanglin halt 3am in the morning with just 2 dollars and a brow full of sweat. that's not very exciting.
school's starting next week and i won't have to think how to spend money i don't even have. that's great. and i'd have to find a job too cauz no way goddamnit am i gonna survive on allowance.
troubles troubles. i did nothing more then sms dad today. on fathers day. i feel so bad. but i guess espen must feel worse--he had a showdown with his dad (amazing emerging physically unscathed)and it just wasn't very nice. no not at all.
downloading Undying now. it says estimated download time 57hours 07mins 29sec. i hate firewalls. argh.
whatodo?
song playing now: velvet underground - candy says
addiction
Sunday, June 20, 2004. 07:25 p.m.
i went over to char's 21st birthday party over in maplewoods. it was quite empty. earlier on, i called char and she practically dragged me over cauz "everyone was already there". oh well. she looked happy and i'm happy for her. this sibling-slaver. she got her younger siblings to do the barbeque. women...
then we met a true blue melbourne shuffler at zouk last night. he'd been at it for five years now and it really shows. *clap clap*. went down to breko's in holland v after that and caught the match between czech and holland. needless to say we were betting appie pies again. espen chose czech and latvia and i won 2 appie pies. wasn't all that great for everyone though. joel lost again and he just got up and left. something about appie pie betting's like going against him or something along those lines. shit just let it chill.
am at espen's house now. i spent the whole night after the soccer match playing Clive Barker's Undying and espen the whole day today. just why the hell am i here.. well the whole dbs/posb network over at holland v konked out.. the atms were outta commission and you couldn't even sign at shops. like what the fuck right? so i didn't have money to go home cauz i couldn't get it. and i didn't go home earlier cauz i slept till like now. oh man. i got my riding theory test tomorrow evening and i haven't even revised for it yet and here i am going over melvin's to watch soccer again tonight?
spain will be playing portugal, and russia greece. heh heh. appie pie?
i haven't smoked and i can't think. where the fuck is espen. i gotta get out of here.
NOW. but he's getting lectured by his mom. i hope it ain't cauzuf me. espen goddamnit. i gotta wait here and my jawsa killin me
song from espen's library: eamon - fuck it i don't want you back
italy 1 - 1 sweden
Saturday, June 19, 2004. 04:51 a.m.
i ended my day in jane's home yesterday to burn for her the photos she took in japan. after lugging it around town. met az and had dinner at liang court sakae. he was wearing this really indian really purple kinda flower-power era long sleeved tshirt. from camp. he's planning to get his car license and then a really pink mini. anyway, sakae have buffet till 10pm and on saturdays too, how about that? leave it to tony to find all these weird deals. met tony's girlfriend and richard too. richard was a spec one batch my senior and kinda strange. he has this really (i mean really) thick angmoh accent and tucks in his polo in his off-beige khakis. he loves drama japanese/chinese karaoke music and doesn't know what the hell an sd card is. cute.
italia 1, sweden 1. sweden fans cheered and those others were stoned. they all lost money but hell--i'm happy. i won an apple pie betting with espen that italia would rake up more yellow cards. poor guy. lost 50 bucks and an appie pie to boot. i bet he's cursing them big italian heads with all the wrong angles.
planning a trip to sentosa next week. melvin and espen's game, joel's willing to take off and that leaves jiron. think he's willing to finally show those arse cheeks that never see daylight? an appie pie? heh.
song playing now: underworld - born slippy
nothing
Thursday, June 17, 2004. 04:54 a.m.
i'm deciding whether or not to change the layout of my blog again. i think i will remove the tag-board so you guys will actually click on the little comments button and use it. decisions decisions.
here i come a-bitchin'
Thursday, June 17, 2004. 04:18 a.m.
i could've been worse off--being stuck in some elevator with espen while he goes on never ending with his undying Undying and retarded antics. but fortunately, my night was only just wasted. went to liquid room but was left waiting in a really frustrated que because the lights in there decided to leave for greener pastures and they had to enlist the help of a thousand candles. so after a couple of lateral-thinking puzzles (that they just CAN'T get) and posing for a good hour, we left and sweated all the way around singapore just to find a spot to chill. i feel bad dragging yanie all over but hey.. today sure as hell ain't gonna happen again!!
to top that off, they've reduced the serving term for all NSFs to just 2 years. and every batch AFTER MINE that's in now gets 2 months off. how great is that! goddamnit.
ok. time to quit whining.
song playing now: jamiroquai - virtual insanity
the entry
Wednesday, June 16, 2004. 07:53 p.m.
watched great expectations again. and i haven't eaten anything yet. my mom wants me to apply for the scholarship/bursary that NP has. i'm starving. there's always NOTHING to eat at home.
song playing now: mono - life in mono
clocks
Wednesday, June 16, 2004. 04:42 a.m.
i found a so very rare copy of Great Expectations on VCD in Gramaphone (gratitude advertising). i got the soundtrack many years ago and only a couple of years back began looking for the show. but it's out of production and just no where sells it anymore. am i so late or what? anyway i watched it, and loved it.
psychadelic. well, psychedelik to be precise. messaged me. it was yanie. all this while i had her on my msn messanger and i was wondering who the fuck it was. so we, for old times' sake, met at the lift lobby and smoked, as we did so very long ago. we live on opposite ends of block 622 and always walk down opposite walkways stemming from the lift lobby. i always imagined her Beauty, and me, the Beast in the show during the prelude to the ballroom dance, when they met coming down opposite stairs. almost fairytale, so very void deck and certainly not grand, but bittersweet, now.
she looked different. and she had problems. and we just talked. now, i'm not one who would talk endlessly on phones and such, but with her i just talk. and not surprisingly, no one ever forgets the swimming in the shit episode with me and nick in batam. and I WILL CERTAINLY NOT ELABORATE. argh. stained for life!
what if things had turned out differently?
song playing now: coldplay - clocks (heaven & earth division remix)
decisions decisions
Sunday, June 13, 2004. 03:51 a.m.
intense buzzing, kaleidoscopic colours and endless euphoria. sounds psychadelic? not when you're experiencing it after having only eaten a half sub for the whole day and then drinking a jug of vodka lime soda. it got so bad i believed i two-left-feet myself out of zouk and sat on the curb just to catch a breath. that took me 15mins. then i wiggled my way to copthorne and landed my arse on their comfy couches. ah the bliss!
aldrin sucked. so does breaks. and gordon can't make a good vodka lime soda. with the added special effect, it really didn't make for a good time. but then, rivervalley prata saved the day and now i feel on top of the world. yay.
i finally managed to see charmaine after so long. at the split second of recognition she pranced to me and promptly planted herself on my lap. ahh infectious enthusiasm. then along comes jason ho - another figure from the past and attendee of the acs reunion dinner. should i go? hmm. decisions decision. cheng was there too, and so was mark. another storeaway on the liquid bandwagon. and hardcore at it too, i'm surprised. then this cute guy next to me asked me to take a pic for him and his friend. i wonder why--they were practically sitting a mile apart in the picture (and they didn't look all that happy to be caught on digital film, either).
speaking of decisions. aj leaves in less then five hours and we've sorta promised to send her off at the airport. unfortunately, we've just clubbed and its four in the morning, and we're at home, spent. to go? or not to go?ron's hp is off and i can't get to him to tell him i didn't feel like going. i feel so bad.
and as a side note, thank God for friends. i wouldn't even want to imagine dying a sad, lonely death. the moment he heard my voice over the phone, joel was practically there at copthorne. and the rest of them left zouk too. ron, jane, espen, mel, mark and jaime. maybe it's my funky hair?
song playing now: tiesto - in search of sunrise 3
i had a prawny feeling
Saturday, June 12, 2004. 07:02 p.m.
i do not believe i will ever go prawn fishing again. those 3 prawns i caught cost me $26, a backache and a lingering smell of bait. and my sentiments were perfectly expressed when lims caught his first, and started to bash it on the ground while still attached to the hook. good riddance. but, still i guess it had some kinda raw fun attached to it (i mean the catching, but i guess killing too). so we were at it till 4am. stupid prawns.
anyway, aj and helen will be leaving for melbourne this sunday. good for them. had dinner at marche (i can't do the e with acute because i can't figure out how this notebook does it) and it was all good. i realised the banana caramel waffle was actually quite good. had free calamari and a bowl of overflowing veggies. haha.
speaking of notebooks, i just got one that i'm using now and gosh. so much better then my desktop. ok time to go
song playing now: infusion - legacy (JXL remix)
open your eyes
Sunday, June 6, 2004. 10:39 p.m.
tomorrow is school orientation. this will be the second time that they will be orientating me to the school. yay. i'll be back in school again. finally. looking forward to it, but still kinda wondering just what i want. met janesh at rocky's when i was supposed to meet lims. apparently he's enlisting uh.. eww enrolling into np doing mass comm too haha guess i'll be seeing him around in school.
checked out the street festival while i was in town just now. some band was playing some funny chinese music and everyone was dressed as if in some kinda shinjiku district fever. punk, goth, fetish, or just plain weird. well, whatever rocks their boat. and then 4 hours of towers and cs with lims ensued. gosh. adrian had to run off part way cause ryan had some problems. whats up dude. pretty unproductive day (but then again, which day of mine recently HAD been productive?) but surprise, i met az and his friend on the way home. he was on the way back to camp. haha (cuecard: 4 DAYS 4 DAYS!!!) obviously that topic arose. he said he'd lend me his xbox AND buy the starter kit for playing online if i wanted to get ps online!! what a friend!
i'm drowsy. with sleep, and with this incredible beat. tiësto has me in search of the higher state of consciousness. i swear it's tantamount to an orgasmic climax. (i know i know, right-hand dan.. but NOT this kind of orgasmic climax) i'm listening to open your eyes (nalin & kane) and i just think it would go well with out of the city (2heads) better then the next track, but that's just my opinion. nevermind. i'm going to go bathe and then sleep, now!
album playing now: tiësto - in seach of sunrise 3
out of my head
Sunday, June 6, 2004. 08:18 a.m.
'sometimes I feel
like I am drunk behind the wheel
the wheel of possibility
however it may roll
give it a spin
see if you can somehow factor in
you know there's always more than one way
to say exactly what you mean to say
was I out of my head? was I out of my mind?
how could I have ever been so blind?
i was waiting for an indication
it was hard to find
don't matter what I say only what I do
i never mean to do bad things to you
so quiet but I finally woke up
if you're sad then its time you spoke up too'
fastball, out of my head
first time i heard this song was in my second year in secondary 3. ming had it on his mp3 player and i fell in love with it. it very coincidentally became 'our' song when me and yanie were together. and ever since it's been the anthem of my life.
disillusioned
Saturday, June 5, 2004. 02:52 p.m.
ok i've archived the entries for may 04. er.. but ignore the other 2 entries in the archives page. i was testing the system and now i can't seem to erase those damned entries.
it's just five more days till i ORD. after all the hype and shit. i don't feel anything, man. i've been cheated of a million bucks. goddamnit. and i haven't gotten like half the signatures needed in the clearance form. time to draw from armskote experiences and start forging. bitch asses.
limlee called sounding all so excited. just about what? ol' ACS is having a reunion dinner and he wants something to eat. geez. like hell anybody who's anyone's gonna be there. just some young farts who think that 'this school brought me through troubled waters' or 'etched onto me lifeskills that i need' or 'gave me unforgettable memories' and all that shit. fuck it. ACS just had a paedophilic principal that's all there is to it. aw come on. i still have fond memories. like getting my hair cut in public. or the gang brawl outbreak during recess one day.. or getting expelled from school.. or trashing the place just before it was re-renovated. haha. those were damned days weren't it.
chill.
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