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VersionFour Has Begun
Welcome to portable. This site is now shutting down very rapidly. I'll update it occasionally, if only to get the punters in (moo-cha-cha), but otherwise, I'm shifting operations to my spanky new site, versionfour. Please address all complaints there.
PS: versionfour weblog is here
_ output
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First For Fun
Here is the first entry in Bitter&Twisted's archive. I dunno if it her first ever, but hey, it's as good a place to start as any. It's actually quite funny, and quite a departure from the all encompassing monologues she writes now. She's a good writer, but not good enough to keep me interested in her life for 2,000 words, or however many it is.
Okay, a bit of investigative journalism, and it's actually 2,903, in her latest escapade.
Why have I brought this to your attention? Well, cuz her original entry was quite funny, (hense the link being to that), and because visits to my new site are dying down, so I'm going on a media offensive to get some hardcore visiting up. I dunno how many MP3s I'd have to add (currently I have none), or girlfriends I have to talk about (currently I don't even talk about friends to any great extent)... indeed, I don't know what to put up for people to actually link to me (currently I'm on about 3 links lists). So, I'm updating this, so people will come here, and then from here, go to my website, which isn't actually that crap. I even have a weblog. And a load of random inane bullocks, too.
_ 18:25_30.06.2001
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An Afterthought
Don't get me wrong, though. I don't think they should be released for the sake of it. If more time inside is what they need, then that's what they should get. However, people wouldn't care if they'd changed or not. I mean, the mother of the baby, (and it's situations like this that make me lose sight of the sympathy I should have for her situation), says she doesn't believe they've changed - where the hell would she pull that idea from? Nowhere. She hasn't spoken to them. I don't suppose she knows why they did it in the first place, let alone whether or not they'll do it again.
So yes, free them if they can handle it, and anyone who takes the law into their own hands should be dealt with to the full extent of the real law. As much as I've been reading about Anarchism lately, we ain't in an Anarchist society yet, so they'd better recognise, bitch.
_ 11:37_18.06.2001
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As One Process Of Justice Finished, Another Begins
Mob justice, you gotta love it. I swear, sometimes I wish the police would come in and just bop 'em all on the head with their big metal bars, as they love doing with protesters. But no, because it'd be in the Sun if they hit a load of real thugs, but if they don't hit people with a decent cause, The Daily Mail will be in uproar. People are so stupid.
The media aren't much better. They know exactly what's going on, and yet they still love to put these pictures everywhere. I know what they did was sick, and twisted, and I offer no argument for it. I simply say They Were Thirteen Years Old. In the last eight years is it not possible that they've changed? The whole reason we have government, and the whole reason I'm in favour of DICTATORSHIP is because people are far to stupid to make up their own minds. They shouldn't have a say, quite frankly. Lock them up forever because of something they did when they were at perhaps the least stable time of their lives. If it was some 40 year old, I'd better understand, because a 40 year old is likely to be stuck in his ways. But a 13 year old is gonna change, and yet, they don't like that. They say it's forcing the parents of little Jamie Bulger to go through more trouble - like they wouldn't anyway. For fuck's sake, people, get a fucking grip. These were kids, they've been in rehab for the last eight years, they've been psychiatrically tested to determine whether or not they're still a danger to society - for the last eight years. Now, if they go out and kill again, I'll be very surprised, but I won't eat my words. If we can't released these two, then we should never release anyone. Tough on crime, but bringing unholy fucking hell down on the the perpetrators of crime. You fascist freaks.
PS: I realise the irony of me preaching dictatorship, then saying they're the fascists. But I don't care, because my dictatorship would be a lot like the dictatorship we're in at the moment, only not so woolly minded when it came to serious social issues. And for all those who aren't used to me - obviously, I don't think violence is a solution to the problem, that comment about the police is a metaphorical suggestion of my general distaste towards the people. Mob fucking justice indeed...
_ 23:35_18.06.2001
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Something Infested This Way Cometh
I'm so pissed off. There's no Infesticon website. Considering it was more than just a musical album, it was a statement, it's a bit annoying that all I get from search engines is "Product: Infesticons Gun Hill Road". Who cares about the product, where is the hardcore press coverage of the Anti-Jiggy Majesticon message? Please.
_ 04:48_17.06.2001
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Bands We Are Mostly Loving Today
And most of the time, for that matter. Actually, the band I am mostly loving today is Tricky, who relocated to America for no discernable reason. But his debut (Maximquaye) still kicks all known arsecakes, everywhere.
The link above, however, is to Fait'less (spelled "Faithless"). I love 'em. I keep listening to We Come 1, and just wishing I could watch the video, because it rocks bells and whistles. Not too worry, in the mean time, NME.com has got your back, being as how it's got their new album available for your listening pleisure.
Yes, I did spell pleasure wrong. It was phonetic. Americana a-go-go.
_ 15:14_16.06.2001
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The Text Message Revolution Continues
Uboot is a little community thing based around text messaging. Which is a little sad, but someone politely told me I had to join, so I did. Hey, who am I to argue with a rice pudding enthusiast. Aaanyhoo, they have competitions, and these were the entries for the Summer Lovin' comp. It's basically that you have 160 words with which to write your entry. Concise genius prevails:
Did you know the latin words for lovers and fools is only one letter
apart? Amantes and amentes! From the society that gave us philosophy?
You gotta wonder...
(Legion13)
I have three gorgeous blokes after me, and it would be great...except
I'm a hamster. Called Ralph.
(LBazile)
Bill: "Summer intern, had me a blast" Monica: "White House intern, happened so fast" Bill: "Met a girl, crazy for me" Monica: "Met the Prez, down on my knees.
(ThePlantster)
I couldn't possibly choose between them.
_ 03:20_15.06.2001
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Oh Yeah, That's The Word
So Solid Crew. They rock at the moment, as I'm hunting down bass (in the place). However, their next single 21 Seconds is a lot less bass heavy, but it's just so genius it has to be recommended to everyone, everywhere, always. So follow the link on this page to download an extended preview.
_ 01:04_15.06.2001
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Sparkly, Shynie Information
Shynola! In da hizzouse. Lots of nice information on the formation of probably the best four piece in house animation company, in the world... ever!
_ 18:26_12.06.2001
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It's Good, But It's Not The One.
As my hero and yours, Roy Walker, used to say. He was the man.
Anyway, just to kill off the topic of Calapitter once and for all (don'tcha just hate schmoozing?), they've (she's) done a new design for the site. But even though it's all nice and snazzy, and all... Openlog Still Sucks. It can't help it. Every other entry is from someone talking about an Openlog rival. I don't know what made the Greeks invent democracy, because you can't trust people at all. If you give them power, they can't hack it, so they have to go haywire and abuse it, almost systematically.
Hey, some art critic's got a low cut top on TV... gotta go...
(See, big, macho, heterosexual male. Raah... heheh...)
_ 23:26_08.06.2001
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Life's Little Ironies
Well, this isn't one of them. However, I linked down below (the one entitled "We Love It") to a site called Calapitter. I didn't know if it were a he or she who wrote it. So they told me it was a "she". Which is all well and good. However, they linked to this site using the word she as the link...
Which just means there'll be more people who think I'm a she. So I'm gonna have to say something butch. In fact, I'm gonna go one better, I'm gonna state my masculinity by linking to a hardcore matcho site. Oh yesh.
This... um... is the first (and only) thing I could think of, under the harsh time conditions... huh!
_ 23:17_08.06.2001
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It's K'nex, It's K'new!
Well, it isn't K'nex, it's actually my new website. I've registered the name. It's www.vrsn.fsnet.co.uk. I wanted to have version.fsnet.co.uk, but it didn't like that, so I did the txt msg type, which deletes all vowels. vrsn it is, then. I stayed away from versionfour.fsnet, cuz I want to keep the same name if and when I go on to versionfive. Just in case, you understand.
Feel free to click the link, but there's nothing actually there yet, sooo... it'd be a tad pointless...
_ 01:39_08.06.2001
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The Beautiful, Beautiful Thing
If you have a high bandwidth connection, or a reliable internet connection may I highly recommend downloading the Pyramid song video from the Shynola site. It's Bee-yutiful. The only things, in fact, that are wrong with that video is that I've never seen it on a TV that shows the sort of detail that are in some of the stils on this site, and that it wasn't included on the Pyramid Song single.
By the way, a quick tip, click on the end of the chair legs for more fun. Ta.
_ 01:36_08.06.2001
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Not Enough
I can't tell you to visit this site enough. Still keeping the Dreamcast disillusioned faith, when all around are flailing. And still managing to be funny. Play the X-Box word association game...
_ 21:49_07.06.2001
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They Really Are Simian.
Not that, currently at least, that means anything to you. Following my traditional routine of telling everyone when I buy good new music - because some people like to know these things - here is my latest purchase, as recommended by Sleazenation and to a lesser extent The Face.
Simian is a sort of ethereal, experimental broken song group. I won't tell you much about them, except go to the website, listen to the samples (under "noises), and buy the records. All of them. Immediately.
Then go to the Source record label website and check out Turin Breaks and Kings Of Convenience (in that order) also. Because they rock.
Well, when the site is up and running, anyway... ho hum...
_ 20:35_07.06.2001
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We Love It
Calapitter I do like, if only because he/she/it/them are the only sitepersons who still fully support Openlog. Ye Olde, almost dead, Openlog.
So I was looking around calapitter.net, and I came across this, a very nifty little "new word" feature. Like those calendars, but not just with long words, actual, real obscure words that you not only were unlikely to know, but will probably never, ever need. Just how we like them.
"Wangle" is a word you might have known, but don't worry, that link doesn't work... heh...
_ 23:16_05.06.01
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That's All Well And Good, But...
Is that all you've been doing? Well, actually no. Appart from _Output (the main current one, the one I was just screaming about incoherently), there's also Suite.01, the previous one. I still get occasional submissions to that site (the one linked to above, dsn330e.fsnet.co.uk). So I've just added a couple of things, including the super-cool submission I got from some girl who had a problem with her now ex boyfriend. That was quality.
I'm also starting the renovation proceedure for versionfour, my next website. It will be back to the old minimalist standard of Suite.01. The main difference between this and others is that this one doesn't have a different design for each section. I don't know how that will work, but that's how it is at the moment.
Don't know when it'll be up and running, but things are still ticking along at _Output, and maybe even here, in the mean time...
_ 21:18_05.06.2001
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Aaah-hahahaa! Hee's BACK, Bee-yatch
So, here I am. Again. Once more here to kick it for you.
My website shinanigans are back on track, as I once again am at home, with my nice free Freeserve connection, and my nice high speed (but not that high, really, just in comparison to my last low speed) internet connection. 48K, baby. It should be 56K, but for some reason it won't let me reach those heady heights.
But that's not a problem you care about. What you want to know is that the outputMobile has indeed been mobilised. We have updates All Over The Place, adn there is no more a reason for you not to be visiting my site with alarming regularity. Exams are over, I don't have a job, and I can't afford to go out that often (not that I won't go out anyway, but, you know, not as often). I have new pictures, new rants, new animation, new bits, new bobs, music reviews, and completely random inconsequential bobbins that makes you just wish you too were me.
You're not, but by visiting Generik.fsnet.co.uk, you come as close as is humanly possible.
Or somesuch.
_ 21:12_05.06.2001
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The Reason For Hell
Until that previous post I hadn't put much up for a while. Cuz I hadn't been on the internet much at all. And also because I hadn't seen anything really worth posting about. Anyhoo, that last post is there because I was searching for Life Is Hell because I have to do some research for an animation report about Matt Groening (because I'm unimaginative).
I've found a little bit about Life In Hell, and it's a really funny seeming comic strip. I'll have to search down some of the books as well. I'm sure Dillons will have a copy or two (not that Dillons still exists or anything... Waterstones then. Ho hum)
_ 1620_16.05.2001
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Hell, Apparently, The Hard Way
A nice article from a deluded sinner, on how to get to hell, and how it's so hard for him to do so. Of course it's difficult to get to hell. Everyone's going there, so those trailblazing sinfilled forfathers we're going to set a low bar just so everyone else that followed had an easy ride. No, of course not. They rape, pillaged and plundered their way to the higher echelons of hellion tradition.
Still, it's a nice article.
_ 1617_16.05.2001
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Can't Arrange Anything!
I've just realised I've got April and March the wrong way round on my Archives page. How annoying. Oh well.
Anyway, finally, my "type in a phrase and add .com to the end" method has paid dividend. PissUpInABrewery exists!
I typed it in because my current big idea is that, actually, it would prove very difficult to arrange a piss up in a brewery, because, let's face it, they probably don't appreciate hoards of people going into their finely tuned alcohol producing factories, drinking all their merchandise, and stumbling around legless.
And as for "you couldn't pull in a brothel"... what a stupid idea. As if some prostitute is gonna be wildly attracted to you if you smarm into some den of iniquity and start sprouting lines ("do you come here often?"). You won't pull, you'll have to pay for it like everyone else!
What is it with maxims that make them so wrong so often?
_ 11:52_02.05.2001
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