Now Entering, My Quarter-Life Crisis

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2.18.02-3.5.02

March 22nd @ 11:53 AM - So I spent the day with a friend of mine yesterday and we did some touristy/ NY things. Now that I am thinking about it, it was a great day and the weather was perfect. We started with going to the district to see the sculpture that was in the WTC, but is now in Battery Park. I must say, it was kind of odd to see it in the middle of the park. The last time I saw it was on 9.11 in the WTC and now it is in Battery Park. It looked pretty good for having the two largest building fall on it. The top was slightly destroyed and you can tell they tried to bang it out and patch it up a little, but it was still the same sculpture. My friend got pretty pissed at one point and it made me feel good, mainly since I thought I was over reacting. See, these two girls wanted to take a picture of it, that is fine, completely normal. But they walked in front of it, proceeded to apply gloss, fix there hair, then rap there arms around each other and smile and gee at the camera. It was very distasteful and the sorority girls need to be stopped. I then took my friend up to ground zero, which they are now basically letting people walk into the site. Everything is open, well almost everything, most importantly, Century 21 is open again. We then went to Union Square and did some shopping at Virgin. I got this soundtrack, and it is awesome. I totally wanted to surprise my roommates and make them copies of it, but my CD burner will not let me, sorry girls. We then went to hang out at xando, sip coffee, while sitting in the huge open windows, wearing our sunglasses and people watch. (= the definition of Richie) We then walked around for awhile and I forgot to tell you the funniest part of the day. Everywhere we went, we were asked, "Are you Jewish?" On every single street corner in The District and Union Square, there were these people trying to get Jewish people to join there group and start doing random acts of kindness. They also had RV's with these random posters on them and yes, we did take pictures. They were completely targeting certain people on the streets, Jewish males and males that look/ could be Jewish. By the end of the day, as they approached (seriously, every corner), my friend would yell, "HE'S NOT JEWISH, LEAVE US ALONE!" It was a great day!

What stars real name is: Karen Elaine Johnson?

March 21st @ 11:46 PM - Please check this out, it is much fun: Trivia Game

March 21st @ 12:18 PM - I am going to have a serious post very soon. Lately I have been trying to write it all out, but then I get nervous and delete it. (I know, I know, I should just suck it up and do it.) I want to comment on the entire situation, so I need to plan out my attack. I just can't write, it will be a big mess and way to long. It all started about a month ago when I met an old friend for coffee. See, this is not a good friend, just a friend, but she is awesome, extremely cool, just a little to spiritual for me. She is one of the people that eats gluten free food, uses the stair master for an hour everyday, has a good friend that is a fortune teller and dresses in the best and most trendy clothing. We only talk maybe once or twice every six months and it is very direct, to the point convos. She called me and told me we were meeting for coffee and we had a very serious talk and I have not been able to get it out of my head since. I will formulate and comment later.

March 21st @ 10:03 AM - Okay, so it happened again last night. This is the second time in one week I woke up flipping out and expecting to see a load in my draws. This is the story: I was having a dream that I was sitting on the bowl and dropping a massive bomb. It was huge and I was pushing and praying and trying to free it, but could not, it was to large. I must have realized this was a dream and frantically woke myself up. I was grabbing at my draws and expected to find a surprise, but I was in time, but only by a second or two. I ran to the bathroom and finished the dream. This is totally random and odd and I can not decide if it is disgusting or pretty cool. Think about it, my body must have really had to go to the bathroom and told my mind, so I started dreaming about it and then it woke me up in time to make it to the bathroom. Pretty cool. Now think about this one, my body is gross and almost let me poo in my pants in the middle of the night. That is not cool!

To report on the Matt Plant-sized-friend I have on my neck, it is starting to simmer. Thank you!

March 20th @ 10:53 PM - School is in session -- The crush is back on and a lame story was told and things are confusing. What could be next?

So, I guess the asking to use something that is not yours has already ended. Least it lasted this long. (Don't worry, I am glad that I got you and would not know what I would do if you were not around each day. I use you for good only.)

If I show this apartment one more time, I am going to flip out. I have had a hundred different people come up here and I have to talk to them, show them around and blah, blah, blah. It is NO fun! Then the unexpected to me, but not , happens - keep it together, come on Lockwood, soon it will be your time, very soon.

If you have not seen 'Zoolander' yet, please go to the movie rental store and request it. I have been told that it reminds people of me. If you have not seen 'Boys and Girls' yet, do not go to the movie rental store and try to request it. It made me fall asleep. I really want to see 'ET' in the theaters this time. I know, I know, I am one of the only people in the world never to have seen E.T. I feel like I missed out on one of the token events families around the world all participated in.

March 20th @ 1:37 PM - The crush is over. I made a BIG mistake.

The traveling will be easy now, it is time. Well, maybe, actually, not yet, soon.

March 19th @ 5:29 PM - I have been on the phone ALL day with people asking questions about the apartment. When did the world get so picky? I guess the NY apartment market has chilled out slightly and immediately jumping is not necessary. We have a private deck/patio/ roof top - understand people? I also had an interview today and it was horrible. I did not have much interest in going, but I did for kicks and to meet someone new. It sucked and I am almost 100% sure the woman made up the position I was interviewing for. I asked questions and she had no answers and could not even make stuff up, because when she did, I questioned more and called her out. I honestly think she only asked me to come in to get info out of me, contacts, companies, past clients. I told her nothing! Word of advice woman: when you say UBS, at least look up the difference between Warburg and Painewebber. Dumb bitch, you have to wake up pretty early to fool me when it comes to corporate bullshit.

I am regrouping my future plan, yet again, actually, it is my life plan and it is not the future anymore. I have redesigned and thought out my current plan for the next 2 years of my life. I will be discussing soon, I need more time to process and map out. I just need to say, I have not been hearing good things about FIT's fine arts/ graphic design program. Looks like I need a new "2 Year Plan" notebook, please bring one home Aimee.

Okay, I know you keep saying it is time to take a visit to the cold city, but why? Wait, has it been 2 years since the last visit? If you want to go, that is great, go Richie and visit friends. But is there something secret in there? Either admit what the trip is for or don't go!

March 19th @ 10:57 AM - Did you know that there are more than 2 children in the Osbourne Family? Why are they not on the MTV Show and why do they not live in the house with there parents, brother, and sister and why don't the parents ever talk about them?

Last night Giuliani was on Leno and it was awesome. He told his 9.11 story, how they were trapped in a building a block and a half away from the WTC when it was falling (he had with him the police and fire commissioners of the city). He also talked about his battle with cancer and then Leno apologized for making fun of him last year and calling him a fascist. Good job Leno!

March 18th @ 4:44 PM - What a great weekend. (Sorry I have not posted in the last few days, but I had friends in town and I was way to busy.) Friday morning was spent dealing with my landlord in person and on the phone. She called me and tried to have a friendly phone convo about what I was currently doing and how I was. It was extremely random, mostly since we have a slight language barrier. Then Alison showed up and soon after was Charles and suddenly the weekend kicked into high gear. We decided we needed to get some food and a beer, but also be home early since we had to wake up at 8:30 to get ready to spend a day drinking, parading and having a great time. We went to Peter McManus, which is the Irish bar where they filmed Keeping The Faith. (Appropriate choice for us, cheap food and beer, Irish = St. Patty's Day parade the next day and 3 blocks away.) We had extremely funny convo's about Kramer, Falconer, Erika, Lu, Virginia and all of our DC friends - good times, good times.)

Saturday was one of the best days I have ever had. We actually all got up early, and ready in time and waited for Aimee's man, Elisha and Tara. Went up to the East Side and waited for the beginning of the parade to come to us. Believe it or not, we made it with 5 minutes (yes, we were on time). We saw the two most amazing people, Bloomberg (my friends had to hold me back) and Giuliani (we had to hold Claire back) and there 500 secret service. My roommates also got to see Hillary and the moment of silence, but I was getting coffee (no time for her). We decided to leave and go back to our apartment and start drinking. We met up with our friend Karen and bottles and beers were opened. An hour later, The Three Amigos left everyone behind and ventured down to the Seaport for a bar crawl and to meet up with Sheri. The four of us walked around the Seaport, carrying open cups of beer and made our way up to the third floor deck and crashed on the lounge chairs facing the water and Brooklyn. It was amazing and we sat there for over an hour, laughing and drinking cheap beers (I love Nathan's!) The rest of the group finally showed up and we proceeded to dance and drink in a very large mall on the water. It was perfect and could not get better - beer, food (okay, I didn't eat), every possible store (okay, I didn't shop either, I got to drunk, but I wanted to shop) and good friends. This is where I forget what happened, but I have been told, we leave the Seaport mall and go to one of the participating bars right outside and continue to drink and drink and drink, oh yeah, it is only 6:30, maybe. I have been told that everyone leaves and it is back to The Three Amigos, the T-U-F-F kids. I stopped drinking, we left and started walking around the District and sobering up, well, slightly. We ended up at Liza Minnelli's wedding reception where Charles challenged Michael Jackson to a dance off and MJ did not accept. Mya was also there and I could not think of one of her songs to mention, I was so drunk. I was screaming and flipping out and wanted to find Macaulay Culkin, but he is no where to be found. There were plenty of other celebs that Charles and Alison knew, but I had no idea, I was bloody eyed and stumbling. My favorite part, we got pictures of Alison and the Liza dog, but I took them and hope I got them both in the picture. We finally left and drunk Charles wanted to steal one of the wedding posters, but I wouldn't let him. We subwayed to the East Village and ran into "Bar None", a fun dance, good music and cheap drinks place. My good friend Vanessa met us and we danced and drank more water and had a great Richie and V time. Charles and Ad-rock played pool and lost multiple games and money and probably would have done better if they could have seen the balls. After three Britney songs, 4 cups of water and 3 heart to hearts with V, we decided to jump in a cab and hit a bar on the Upper West. It took 5 minutes, we made it from 14th to 80th Street without hitting any red lights and I cheered the entire way. (The cab driver would laugh and try to slap me high 5 every time I would throw my hands out like I was Superman and yell real loud. I was still extremely drunk and annoying.) The sole reason for the trip north was to meet the girl that kissed V a few nights ago. (This is in her gray area and rarely happens, but this chick was so sexy, the definition, the total package.) We drank, danced and I made the sex kitten jealous (V gave the props, job well done). The end was near and we made it home after 3.

Sum up: over 12 hours of drinking, 5 neighbors (Upper East, Chelsea, Financial District, East Village and Upper West), 500 beers, saw Bloomberg, Guiliani, Liza, MJ and others, spent under $50. What an adventure, it was awesome!

March 14th @ 11:48 PM - I am now getting extremely excited about the weekend and the visitors coming in for a few days. We will be having a great day of drinking and playing and there is a bar crawl in South Street Seaport (Pier 17). I do love the pier, especially when it is nice out and you sit on the deck and look at the water and you can walk around the Seaport and openly drink. That could be fun and there are a few Irish Pubs downtown which we could visit. I am thinking that most people will stay uptown and drink in the 80's, watch the parade and hit the locals. We can be tricky and head to the Port and openly drink as we walk around the pier. Fun, fun, fun... I do love Bar Crawls!!!

Mrs. Lee came up this afternoon with the first person to look at the apartment. I don't think it went so well. I was told to not speak and that was weird. Having your landlord tell you not to talk and then having to stand in the kitchen and actually, not talk. My roommates tell me all the time to not speak, but I never listen to them, I just talk and talk and talk... Next time I will just leave. Good thing I wasn't watching a "special" video when they came up.

March 14th @ 2:42 PM - I eventually need to check this place out, Man Ray. I should probably do it before I move, since it is here in Chelsea. I think Claire needs to come with me. I heard it is kind of expensive and I have no money, maybe my parents will want to go to dinner this week. hhmmm, hungry mom?

While out and about today, this random started talking to me and I usually don't talk back, since I have my walkman and cool headphones on. But today was different, I was in a good mood and actually spoke back and the person was pleasant in a cold kind of way. It was cool!

About Saturday, we are leaving our apartment at 10:30 AM, so everyone has to be ready and here. A- please call Karen and Tara, please read it again. I do not want to miss the parade AGAIN this year. Last year was awesome and we did get very drunk, but we missed the parade entirely (mainly because we started drinking to early and forgot/ didn't care anymore). This year, I at least want to see 15 minutes of it, then I will be finished and ready to drink!

MARCH 14th @ 1:03 PM - Everyday I fight a war against the mirror. I can't take the person starin' back at me. I'm a hazard to myself. Don't let me get me. I'm my own worst enemy. Its bad when you annoy yourself. So irritating. Don't wanna be my friend no more. I wanna be somebody else. Pink - Don't Let Me Get Me. -- When did Pop Music become so dramatic? Come on Pink, you are hot and a pop diva and stop trying to touch that one, ugly girl with braces and bad hair sitting in her room, and staring in the mirror. You have a huge following and all pop lovers enjoy your music and buy your cds. That poor girl is now sitting in her room, still staring in the mirror and listening to your song on repeat, thinking that Pink feels the way she does. Please Pink, you can't fool me. A later line in the song is: LA told me, "You'll be a pop star, All you have to change is everything you are." Tired of being compared to damn Britney Spears. She's so pretty, that just ain't me.

Just to let you know Bessica, James Gandolfini has just announced that he is divorcing his wife of three years. It's your turn, go get it!

March 13th @ 11:04 PM - I think I really do want a pet for the new place. This time, no birds! My ideal pet: a small, male dog. Since dogs are way to much responsibility, I am think maybe a cat. My ideal cat (which is weird to say, since I hate cats): an older, male, short hair, keeps to himself and sometimes likes to crazy play. I like pets that do there own thing, but occasionally want to ruff house it. Long hair cats are gross, kind of like no hair cats. Cats are similar to "The Region", it should not be hairless, but not long enough to braid, clean is nice and fun. Female cats suck and are bitches and there stomach drop and they get so fat, I especially hate fat cats. They should be slim and adventurous. Finally, the age is extremely important. I do not really like kittens or puppies, they piss and shit everywhere, have sharp teeth and need to much, everything (time, training, money, etc.) Older pets are best, they are already trained and since we are probably only going to have it for a year or so and then get tired of it, we can just get rid of it. If we let it out and it is old, it will probably just die and that is it. Simple and fun. I think we found the ideal pet for me!

Why would you call me? Why would you call and not say anything, you sit there and I sit there. It is called English and we learned it many years ago, so use it. If you are going to waste my time, at least do it with verbal communication so I can have something to write about.

I have to give props to HBO and the new commercial/ advertisement for there Sunday night line up. What an extremely dramatic commercial. The song is great, even though there is one word, “Sunday” and it is in black and white and flashes clips of the stars from Sex, Six, Sopranos and Arliss. Good job HBO!

March 13th @ 2:40 PM - I hate the phone company and this move is already pissing me off. I decided today I would try to figure out the phone system and get it all organized, so when the roommates come home, I can hit them with the info, we can discuss and make decisions and I can set it up. (I know that there usually is a month waiting period so I want to schedule the appointment now so that we don't go a month without phone/ computer.) I realize people move all the time and it is simple, make a call and presto, it is taken care of. Well, I have decided to try to work the magic and investigate cost and saving money. (We are trying to be money conscience since we are all poor.) It is impossible. Each phone company tries to sell you a million things and then they say one thing and 5 seconds later, a totally different thing. You call them out and question and they stumble and make something up. You can not get a straight answer out of anyone and listen to this, they contradict each other. How is it possible that one company can move our number to Brooklyn and one can not? It is not like they have to come to the apartment and stretch our cord to the new place. And, I understand the installment cost is undeterminable till the rep gets to the new building and does his work, but give me an average or range or something. One says, around $140 and another says, from $55 to a million. I asked the woman, "How can we get it installed for 55?" She laughed and said, "I don't know no one who have ever gotten it for 55, we just say that." "Okay, you just say that, what is the average/ what should we be looking at?" cried myself. Loud woman with a tone, "maybe like 85 or 100 or more." Thanks lady, that helped, bitch. I can not decide if it would be cheaper to get rid of a land line and all three of us have cell phones and a cheap, computer line or get 2 phone lines (since our land line is always busy). And we don't know what the people there have? Are they keeping his business line in the apt? Do they already have a phone number, do we have to set one up? Do we want to put money into this place (such as adding another line) when we will not be there that long. I hate this and have decided I do NOT want to move. We have way to much to do and figure out and plan. We don't even have a moving date, because we don't know when we have to leave here, because our landlord won't tell us anything. We need to get the trucks (which means calling like 10 places and talking prices down), find people to help, pack the entire apartment, clean the apartment, patch the walls up, take down the walls, cancel all 4 utilities, figure out the phone deal, etc...) For some reason I am the person who always has to call/ physically go and talk to people. (This is just me venting and not real, please do not take offense to this if you are currently reading it and your mouth is open - that was for you, roommates.)

I do want to move, but am cranky and do not want to have to spend my days figuring this out and hate that nothing is concrete. You all know me, I love my day planner and live by organizing and my lists. Sorry, I will give me my own advice - "Deal, stop crying and stick a tampon in it". This is why I want to move: "How difficult could it possibly be? I'm sure that they sell buzzers, and all we'd have to do is hook one up to an extra-long / weather-proof wire that could be run up the side of the building and through our window. It wouldn't even have to be internal." That was a recent posting by Bessica and I love it. Can you imagine Bessica designing/ building/ putting together/ wiring/ installing a buzzer to our apartment?

March 13th @ 12:22 PM - "No one ever got ahead from sitting on there behind", Lisa from Sugar and Spice. -- In the recent, I have developed an obsession for Barry Manilow. I don't know why or even know a Mandy.

I just had the most random phone convo about something not important, but I seem to have a strong opinion about. The Story: Two if my friends live together in an apartment and one of them called me earlier and wanted my opinion. See, the friend who called (#1) wants to give a key to there apartment to there "special" friend. (#1) wanted my opinion and to see how the other roommate would take to this news or if they should not even tell the roommate and just do it. Well, I flipped out when I heard this question. I guess I never thought about giving keys to non-residents of the apartment. Could you imagine, walking into your place on a Saturday afternoon and your roommate is not there, but there boy/girl-friend is laying on the couch, watching TV? What? I think I would have to flip out. Why would my friend want to give keys to someone else? My opinion on this subject, it is called respect and courtesy. You live with someone and only that person and if you want to give keys to someone else, go move in with them. I never understood the giving the keys to other people, it confuses and scares me.

MARCH 13th @ 12:17 AM - I just had a random memory of something that took place 6 or 7 years ago in the town I grew up in. I believe I was a freshmen in college and I was visiting the rents for some type of break. The story: A group of us were at this kids house (I was "association friends" with him and this was probably my first time at his house since his 4th grade birthday party) and were playing flip cup (a drinking game). I remember the little sister there and she wanted to play, but was one of those animal rights, vegetarian girls who was on the verge of "straight-edge-ism". She really wanted to play, but did not drink beer (it is an evil toxin, she said). She walked over to the frig and pulled out a gallon of milk and proceed to play flip cup with 2% milk. Yummy!

You are everywhere to me! Please, please don't give up on me yet. I need this and am trying, you've saved me.

March 12th @ 11:41 PM- After speaking to Bessica and Aimee, I have decided to change my name to Lockwood. Or maybe I should just go by Richard. Last night, while downtown with my roommates, awaiting the lighting of the memorial, we started this important conversation. We ended up missing them turning the lights on because we were in the middle of it and each of our attitudes were shining. Bessica said she can not call me by Rich or Richard, I will always be Richie. I am not sure if I want to always be Richie? What will it take to not be Richie anymore? Aimee's dad was Frankie and once he got married, became a cop and started popping out biscuits, became Frank. I do not foresee any of those three things happening anytime soon. What will it take for me, maybe a move? 2 years ago, when I moved back to NY, I started fresh and had the option of going by anything and I stuck with Richie. Maybe that means something? Then again, I am pretty lucky and my name is not that bad. It could be something lame like, Tom or Bob or Bill or John or Mike. I don't know to many Richies and it takes a certain person to be a good Richie. I am a good Richie, but could be a great Lockwood.

PS- Bessica’s new name is, Claire.

March 12th @ 11:29 PM - So, one of my DC friends has finally let everyone know that a move will be taking place in the next few weeks. California is the destination, actually, San Fran (I know, my poor friend). I did know about this move for a few weeks and kept my mouth shut. I heard through the grape vine and the person who told me said, "don't tell anyone". I listened to them and did not open my mouth. Surprised? Now I know something else that is pretty big about one of them and was told again, "don't tell anyone". My mouth has been shut. Secrets, secrets, secrets...

March 12th @ 4:41 PM - "Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed." - Elle Woods -- Bessica just told me that our new neighborhood is nicknamed "The Point". That is so cool, we live in the "Art Plaza" @ "The Point", which is a loft in a warehouse and most recently, a recording studio. Can this be any more "Urban Hipster"? -- Since our apartment is huge, do we get a pet? The building is pet friendly (dogs, cats, monkeys, etc.). Last time we had a pet, it did not go so well, hence our bird. Does everyone remember "L"? We had him for like 2 months and then one night he went into this horrible flapping, shaking and twitching episode and died in Bessica's hands. Do we try again, this time with a more appropriate pet, such as a cat? I hate cats! I could like it and if I didn't, I close my door and we keep him downstairs. What to do?

Today I spent the day with one of my fun NY friends. We were here in the apt this morning and then went to brunch and had a lot of catching up to do. Good times, good times...

March 11th @ 6:01 PM - Neil

We are now going to the Memorial downtown for the 6:30 lighting.

I got a few prints back a few weeks ago and have not shown or told anyone about them. They were from an amateur exhibit that is all about the WTC. Anyone from the area could submit photos they took of the WTC before 9/11, that day or after and they are still on display in Soho and can be bought for $25 each. All the money goes to the WTC relief fund and not the artist who took and gave the photo to this incredible exhibit. I have been down there many times and it is extremely emotional. It is always crowded and the pictures are on the walls, hanging from the ceiling and on counters, so people are looking everywhere, but everyone has the same facial expressions. If you have some time, you can check it out at: here is new york -- The two pictures I ordered are amazing, I think, and are very meaning full for me. The first one is of one of my favorite spots downtown, inside Brooks Brothers. The contrast of light vs. dark is amazing and the destruction is so clear, the overall is it. The first time I saw it I could not understand that it was real. I have stood in that exact same spot many times and now this. Brooks Brothers -- The second picture sums up the destruction for me. I look at it and can not believe that I was standing in the middle of it and got out. Almost every building is engulfed and the tops sticking out are 60 - 70 stories high and can hardly be seen. I was next to where it started and it blows my mind. Armageddon

March 11th @ 11:31 AM - This is one of my new favorite people -- John Mayer -- Check out: Room For Squares

If you have a sensitive stomach, do NOT read this: The Springer show has taken it one step to far, they crossed the line. He has finally made me throw up. Yes, it is true, I just had to run away from my computer and charge towards the bathroom. (Roommates, I did make it in time.) The Story: They had a 500 pound man on the show who had not taken a shower, brushed his teeth, changed his clothes since his girlfriend left him. His girlfriend walked out 6 months ago! They had Steve go to his house and he was laying on his couch with food all over him and he had sores and dirt marks everywhere. His hair had an orange glaze/ slime all over it and pieces of food stuck to it. I need to stop now.

MARCH 11TH @ 12:31 AM - I just wrote a long posting and not sure if I can put it up. Sorry, maybe later.

March 10th @ 7:38 PM - It is official, the apartment/ "space"/ loft is now the residence of yours truly. I live in Brooklyn and have a real bedroom and a studio off my room. I have 2 rooms and they are all mine and only mine. You walk into my bedroom and then go into another room, which is my art studio. I have doors and a studio and can not wait to move!

March 10th @ 12:25 PM - I love how everything in this city happens so fast and if you don't react quick enough, it will pass you by. This is the motto for so many things, but especially apartment hunting, you look, you like, you pay for. This all happens in like a matter of 5 seconds. We are leaving in 30 minutes to go see our new place and give the sec deposit. He, he, he...I can't wait!

March 10th @ 10:16 AM - I realize I have the luck of the world and hope that it never goes away. When I took the Care Bear test, no surprise I got Good Luck Bear. I wait and it falls into my lap, kind of like yesterday. Anyway, I am a little kid on Christmas morning, so excited!!! I need to call the new landlord in the next hour and set up a time for us to meet today. We have one page of questions to ask her, one page of things to look for/ at/ to do in the apartment and we have a few things to bring. I want to go wake up Bessica and widely jump around the apartment in our excited, but I won’t, I will wait till we come back this evening and it is 100% confirmed. Breath, one step at a time, lower the voice (volume and tone), pull yourself together Richie. I AM SO EXCITED AND BRINGING MY CAMERA TODAY. Last night me and Bessica (while out celebrating over beers) decided that every time we talk about our new place, at the end of the convo, no matter what it is about, you have to add, “with a view of the entire city”. At some point I have to break the news to my rents that I am leaving this apartment and neighborhood and moving to Greenpoint, they are going to cry and be mad at me. Shit, the Bad Son fucks up again.

MARCH 10th @ 2:02 AM - So much to say, overload, not sure where to start. I still have a headache and it has been 9 hours since it hit and will not go away. Have you ever gotten so excited that you thought your head could explode and then suddenly, a massive headache sets up shop? At this point, you also can't eat or speak at an acceptable tone. I need to be a quick commercial and advertise for my new FAVORITE product in America. If you have not tried this, please run to a store immediately and buy a box. Hangover Help -- It is amazing and seriously works. Okay, I have only tried it twice in my life, but it worked great, and I have a few friends who live by it. Have you ever seen the commercial on television for it? It is pretty entertaining and sums up my life. Go buy it! This is the only over the counter, hangover relief medicine, that really works. Seriously, within 5 minutes, headache is gone, the caffeine hits and you have energy and it settles your stomach. Amazing!

What an adventure I had last night. I have decided to not only block it out from my memory, but also my life. I remember the evening pretty well, but there are a few fuzzy moments and moments I wish were fuzzy. At one point, I was under a bridge, which bridge, I am not sure, but I know where it is, so I can find out the name. What was I doing under a bridge? Not answering, next question? I am not 100% sure why we went up into this random apartment, and what we were suppose to be doing, but my freak out was understandable. This place was a studio and pretty small and the guy that lived there only pays $200. He has been living there for 10 years now and it was extremely scary. He had a few friends over and everyone was like 40, gay and strung-out. Have you ever heard a 40 year old, strung-out, gay man's voice? It is scary and makes you want to immediately go home and watch children's cartoons. The freak out was not from him (fake hair) or his voice, but if it was, that would have been explainable. His apartment was all maroon and leopard bedding and small porcelain tigers everywhere (about 200 of them in the studio) and large 70’s lamp shades with ultra low lights. His 3 friends were just as scary as him, all fucked up and strung out and laying around rubbing and touching. There was also a red light bulb and besides the walls being maroon, the couch and chair, ceiling and carpet were. I could not really move around and the little walking was more of me spinning around and breathing heavy. I hope to never go back to that apartment! The rest of the night has been pushed away very far.

We found the most amazing apartment today and we are suppose to go sign the lease and pay the deposit tomorrow (actually in the morning). I do not want to get to excited yet, but it is hard and they said the place is our new apartment. Just to tell you a little about it, it is PERFECT! It is in Greenpoint and on the East River and faces all of Manhattan. It is one stop away from the city on the subway and is a huge loft. The building use to be a warehouse and then this couple turned it into a recording studio and now we are living there. Yes, we live in a large loft warehouse on the water and it use to be a recording studio. Have you ever driven down 95 S and passed those large, old, abandoned warehouses in Maryland? I know you know the buildings I am talking about and each window is like 400x400 and the building is brick and a few stories. That is it, we are on the 4th and top floor and about 10 of our apartments now can fit in this place. It is so 'urban hipster' (my new word) and everyone living in the building are artists. Myself and Bessica will be living on the second floor, yes we have two levels and every room is odd shaped and angles everywhere. It is the ideal apartment and looking out of our window, you can see from “the district” to the upper east side. If you walk up one more set of stairs, you get to the roof deck, which has views of the entire world. You can see ALL of Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, NJ and Conn. I realize this sounds like it isn’t real, but this does exist and it is cheaper than what we are paying now for our small apt. What I can’t wait for, sitting in our apartment and looking out our window, which is 400 times the size of me, directly at the Empire State Building and the rest of NYC, at night, with all the office lights on and it is snowing. How many pictures will I take of this and post on this site?

I am slightly sad to leave my apartment, I have lived here for 2 years and it is my first NYC apartment and the start of so many things. I do love this place. Oh well, grow a set Richie, look at where you are moving. You got a place in Greenpoint, "the next" place and you got in before everyone else and have an amazing place. Your new aparmtent is to boot, Peace Chelsea!

March 8th @ 3:32 PM - So I have decided the person who first invented and made the large, clasp, manila envelopes must be a millionaire. On any given day or time take a look around the subway and I bet you will see at least 5 different people holding them on your car. If you happen to take notice of this on a weekday, during the day, the number will be higher. Today I counted 9, in one subway car.

What an amazing day it is and I have been so adventures. The majority of time I like to adventure alone, this way I don’t have to worry about my partner in crime wanting to go a different way or do something I don’t want to or may want to stop and eat and blah, blah, blah... Although, today I do wish I had called one of my 500 unemployed friends to join me on the random trek around my neighborhood and south. (The real reason I wish someone was with me so they could have been witness to what I am going to tell you.) Earlier today I had to run over to 8th Ave and grab something and to my surprise, “The 8th Ave Screamer” is back. I crossed paths with him twice last summer and have heard he has been around for a few years. I heard he only comes out in the summer time, but I guess he is early this year. “The 8th Ave Screamer” looks like a normal, business man type person who is slightly taller than myself and a little bigger than I am, but 100% crazy. He randomly selects people walking down the street opposite his path and as you pass him, you hope he doesn’t pick you. If he does, he steps in front of you, blocking the sidewalk and giving you the finger and shoves it in your face, almost touching your eye with it. While doing this, he starts screaming, “You should fuck’n die!” The closer his finger gets to your eye, the louder he gets and he continues to scream, “You should be dead, dead, F-U-C-K-N--D---E----A-------D!” At first, only people in a 2 block radius can hear him, but by then end, he is screaming in your face, and spitting on you, that people 4 blocks down the street, each way, can hear. The entire event only lasts like 10 - 15 seconds, and as long as it is not happening to me, I have to laugh at the people. They get so scared and usually run off, very upset. He never touches anyone and there was a cop on a horse a 1/2 a block away following him. (Last time I saw him, a cop was also following him, I guess the NYPD has to protect him from getting killed.) I can say, today I was across the street from him, so it did not happen to me. But last summer, the second time I saw him, I rounded a corner and crossed his path and he picked me and let into me. I couldn’t do anything, you freeze for a second and then try to get around him, but can’t and then he steps away. Oh “The 8th Ave Screamer”, please come over to 7th Ave!

Then I needed something at “Radio Shack”, so I ran across the street and figured I could grab and go. Well, I was waiting on line to pay and in front of me was a blind woman (which is not uncommon for my neighborhood, we have a home for the deaf around the corner which houses a few hundred hearing impaired). The woman is asking questions about a walkman she wants to buy, okay normal, but is it? I was looking at the salesperson with a scared face and he totally knew what I was thinking and asked her? “Is this for you?” She replied, “yes it is and I want to be like everyone else and listen to my music outside.” Okay, please think about this with me??? She is already lacking one major sense and now wants to take away a second while she struts Manhattan’s streets. And everyone knows, hearing impaired people use public transportation more than people with all 5 working senses. When have you ever witnessed a deaf person getting in or out of a cab? NEVER, they do not take cabs, they only walk, subway or bus. Now this woman will be walking around my neighborhood, unable to see or hear cars, sirens, people or anything. Am I over reacting on this one, or this okay? I am nervous for her...

March 8th @ 11:09 AM - One of my ethnic friends called to ask if Bessica is African American and pronounces her name, Bess-say-kwa? I had no comment!

I had the most amazing run this morning. Usually I just run indoors, but today I got up and decided to head over to the West Side Highway Path and run uptown. It was amazing and this could be one of my favorite places in the city (in the morning that is, when it is not that crowded or hot). The path starts from "the district" and goes up to the Cloisters, via the west side. You can see all of the city and it is along the water, so there are views of Jers and there is a constant breeze. In the morning, there are not to many people, so occasional I will pass a rich wife with her stroller or dog or two elderly woman walking or a biker or roller-skater. When I worked in "the district" I rode my bike down there a few times and it was perfect. 7:30 in the morning, the sun on the buildings and the breeze and riding into the largest metropolis. (In case you were wondering, once I enter the small, crowded streets of downtown, I did almost die a few times.)

For all of you reading this who grew up, NORTH of the Mason Dixon line, you may remember an after school, kids show called, "Steam Pipe Alley". Sorry my southern friends, the show was only a north east thing. Anyway, does anyone remember the host of this horrible show? His name was Mario Cantone and could have been the most annoying man in America. All of you South kids may know him today from his appearances on "Sex and the City". He has a small, recurring role as Charlotte's gay friend who helped plan her wedding. Mario lives one block from me, on 23rd Street, right off the corner of 8th Avenue. I have seen him about 15 times in the two years I have lived here. Every time I see him, it is in the exact same spot, he is a few steps out his front door and I am walking west on 23rd, towards 9th Ave. (Inside info about me, I go to the bank every other day, it is my favorite place in the world and my bank is 2 doors past his building.) We have now gotten to the point that we acknowledge each other with a head nod or half ass smile. I usually see him every other month or so and I saw him about 2 weeks ago and we looked at each other and did the head nod. Then, 2 days ago I saw him again, in the same spot and he looked at me and got scared and ran off. I didn't think much about it at the time, but the more I think about it, the more I realize, he totally must think I am following or stalking him. I realize I have a remember able face and we had the occasional head switch, but twice in 2 weeks, he must be scared of me. He totally thinks I am following him and now I have to find a new bank, I don't want him to call the police and it is not like I can explain myself. "Oh hey Mario, I'm not following you or anything, I live around the corner and go to the bank every other day and the bank is 2 doors down. That is why I always see you at the exact same spot every so often." Yeah, that sounds real...

MARCH 8th @ 12:22 AM - Aimee, please do NOT read ahead! You will not like this and probably not believe me. The kid from the Dell commercials is on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. He is 21 and goes to NYU and lives here in the city and is an ass. He is from Tennessee (talks slow), wore wax lips out on stage, son of a preacher man, is chewing gum, got a free computer from Dell and is not funny at all. He also got kicked out of his dorm and now lives in an apartment downtown with views of the south tower. Maybe I ended up at his place? Up next, Natalie Imbruglia, maybe she really is alive?

Question for everyone: Why does "The Other Half" only have 3 guys on it now? (Don't worry, Mario Lopez is still there.) What happened to the other guy? Get mad Marissa, get mad!!!

I have never been so up on the fence about watching an upcoming show. I really want to, but not sure if I can and am worried how it will be portrayed. Well, it is coming up quick, 9/11

March 7th @ 10:45 PM - I have a lot to say, so deal with me. I think I may be having a Quarter Life Crisis. Does anyone know anything about these and if so, can you explain? I need some regrouping time. Anyway, I am currently not happy with a reaction my body is having. I have been extremely good lately and going all the time and started the pill popping with the drinks. Well, it usually takes my body about 2, maybe 3 days, and it is fine. Not this time! I am almost finished with day 4 and quickly approaching day 5 and badness is not stopping. It does not like me and is pretty disgusting. I am nervous to leave the apartment because I never know when it will hit and it hurts. I have been a mess for the last 4 days and need this to stop, I have plans this weekend.

I realize Fox is in desperate need for ratings, but boxing, wait, not just boxing, but po-white-trash-celebrity boxing. I saw some commercial advertising for a match between Barry Williams vs Danny Bonaduce and Vanilla Ice (Robert Van Something) vs Todd Bridges and the main event is out of control. Originally it was Tonya Harding vs the original Long Island Slut, Amy Fisher, but Amy Fisher dropped out and now it is Tonya vs ???. Is anyone going to really watch this? I know, I know, yes Aimee, I will probably want to watch this and make popcorn and cheer. I can honestly say, I did not watch, Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire, even though one of the final 4 went to school with me. Seriously, I did not watch it.

I need to also comment on a past entry, the one about Bob and Jane (sorry for using your parent's names, not intentional). Since posting this, I have received a few phones from people who are pretty upset about this and don't even know these two people. Yes, it is sad, they are definitely splitting up and he did cheat on her and they did try to work on it, but it is not happening. (Personally I think he did this on purpose, he wanted her to find out and this was his out, so she would walk and he would not have to do it. But that is just my opinion.) As for the relationship and my phone conversations, I am elaborate now. I do not believe in true love or the idea that there is one person out there for you. Come on, every year I want to buy all new coats and change everything, how can one person be "the one" or perfect. I don't buy it! I do think that there are a group of people out there for everyone. (Read this first part of the sentence with "the tone") Someone who not only fits the description and is really good, but awesome. I do feel this does change with time, life events and growing up, so someone awesome now, may not be in 10 years. (Read next 2 lines with Ron Howard tone) And I know you read this and say, Richie, it is called compromise and working on it with that person. If you really care about them, you will make it work and try really hard. I don't disagree with this, but there is compromise and then giving in/ dropping your side/ loosing the characteristics that make you. Maybe I am way off and will be alone forever, but that is okay. Least I will be rich and have money and that is all I really need to be happy. Fuck love, money is 100 times better and can be used for so many more things than love. If you made me pick between finding the perfect mate and living the rest of my life happy with them vs a million dollars and living happily with that, there is no contest -- The Money wins, hands down. And to one of the people that called and was naming life long/ true love couples, please remember, the only two we came up with that we both know are our parents, out of the how many people we know in this world? Not very good!

MARCH 7th @ 12:41 PM -

March 6th @ 11:58 PM - I spoke to one of my friends tonight, her name will be Jane. Jane is dating/ living with Bob and I am friends with them both. They are one of the greatest couples and so much fun and totally on the same page. They live in an amazing house in West Chester, which they bought together and have the most amazing furniture. I went up there a few months ago and spent the night and had a great time, besides the neighborhood being so upper crust I felt weird talking while outside. (Side note: I looked out the window around dusk and I watched every houses sensor lights click on and then the built in sprinklers shot out of the ground and spun out of control. Oh to West Chester!!!) Jane is a recruiter at this company and Bob works for BofA and is a big dog in the systems department. They are great and play off each other and are fun together and Jane is 25/26 and Bob is 29/30, they are not married and the house has 4 bedrooms. They have been through everything in the last 5 years: had to move across the country together, start over, deal with multicultural relationship, both evil and way involved parents, crazy jobs, traveling, buying a house and cars and anything else one could think of that a couple has to deal with (except the kid thing). Getting back to my original point, Jane called me today to tell me she is moving out and they are finished. I am speechless and could not say anything to Jane and am so scared of the phone call from Bob. I can not understand, this really blows my mind. I know a lot of serious couples that are dating/ living together/ engaged/ married, etc. Out of all of them, I can probably count on one hand the number I honestly think will not only make it, but be happy together. They were one of the very few. This has broken my entire ranking system and makes me reevaluate the little faith I had left in long term, true love relationships. I knew I was single for a reason!

For the record, they really are finished and she is definitely moving out of the house (lawyer is drawing up the papers). He cheated while on a business trip with an old work friend in San Fran and when the sloot found out about Jane, she called her and told her everything. Grant it, it only happened once (a weekend full), but Jane is finished and they tried to work it out for about a month and it wasn't happening. They are done!

March 6th @ 5:31 PM - I sometimes think "Ghost" describes our entire situation, but then I think about it and have to vote for "Least Complicated".

MARCH 6th @ 11:04 AM - Please take The Animal In You -- My results: You are either a Eagle or a Rooster personality. But you may also be a Bear personality. EAGLE: Universally admired for their soaring spirits, the eagles has a striking presence that exudes a powerful sexual energy. As is typical of bird personalities, their high metabolisms make them edgy and unable to remain in one place for long. These fascinating creatures are natural explorers and traveling is their greatest love; nothing gets their juices flowing more than a flight to an exotic locale. Eagles are innate performers, craving attention and hogging the spotlight. But their enthusiasm for life comes at a price. For eagles are always on -- proving tiresome to their families and coworkers. In an interesting illustration of sub-species representation, Madonna is a classic golden eagle personality. Her free-spirited lifestyle, performing talents, and powerful talons have all contributed to her enormous success -- while another accomplished performer -- Sinead O'Connor, with her diffident and flighty style, is an example of the closely related bald eagle. Like most bird personalities, eagles tend to be flighty and emotionally jittery. Avoiding committment, they prefer to keep moving, often for no other reason than the sheer joy of exploration. Rarely alighting to integrate with the locals, they are consummate voyeurs and prefer to people-watch with their eagle eyes. Their need for freedom makes them difficult creatures to tame, and being comfortable with their own company, find little value in settling down. When they do form relationships though, they mate for life and their strong nesting instincts prod them to find secure places to live. However, when pressured, they will fly the coop leaving only turbulence in their wake, and those close to the eagle know that the best way of maintaining its friendship is to simply let it go and provide a comfortable haven for its return. -- ROOSTER: are those talented, creative, but somewhat eccentric people who make life interesting for the rest of us. Their bird-like minds are always on the lookout for stimulation and roosters display the characteristically high-energy behavior of their species. They are artistic, creative, and sophisticated with a thorough knowledge of fine wines, cooking, writing, theater and painting. Subscribing to the early bird maxim, roosters rise a little earlier than their competition and could even be accused of having their fingers in too many pies. For the world is so fascinating to the rooster, that settling down into any one career would be impossibly constricting. Unfortunately, their earning potential can suffer in a competitive world that rewards specialization. But, roosters will succeed when they choose a career that presents a variety of challenges, such as medicine, publishing, journalism, or acting. There's a touch of glamour in everything the rooster does -- for settling for less would be exasperating to the rooster's essence. Why take the train if you can fly? This philosophy pervades its personal life, for the rooster proves to be a perfectionist in the bedroom too. Of course, roosters are not above crowing a little, if they feel that their efforts have gone unnoticed. But in the long run, partners have few complaints holding their rooster lover in the highest regard as paramour. Their ideal mates include peacocks who are attracted to their strong demeanor and flashy style. They are incorrigible flirts and although successful in attracting mates, their egos sometimes drive potential partners away. When sufficiently motivated by the right partner however, the rooster will generally find a way to make the relationship work. A rooster will not be silent while there's breath in its body and although its powerful voice tends to be on the shrill side -- when it calls for action, everyone responds. Fuelled by resentment of their brazen style, these saucy birds hear a lot of unkind remarks from members of their own species and these barbs tear at their self-esteem. But when things look bleak, they stick to their guns, redouble their efforts, and live by the motto: if at first you don't suck seed, try drier grain.

INTRO:

Rules for MY web page, bitch session, and WORLD: I post what I want to and about who I want to. I will only randomly be using names or pronouns, do not ask me who I am referring to, if you know me. Feel free to write to me: rferrara57@hotmail.com -- Oh yeah, you will most definitely not be reading any intelligent postings made by me. I may occasionally let a friend or two post and that may be grammatically correct and intelligent. If you like reading brain-dead sites about nothing real, feel free to check as often as you would like. I will be posting about my life, my adventures around NYC, pop trash (obviously), my nameless friends and random shit. If you know my few friends that have journal type pages, mine will not be very similar, mainly, NO poetry or intelligent revelations. If you are interested, please read on...

If you do write to me, please do not correct my grammar or spelling, I know I suck and really don't give a shit. I write as I go and do not spell check or re-read anything. Have fun and I hope you enjoy!

Chalance
LittlePrince
Fishglass
Waarat
Marie